Here’s Deckchair by sheepfilms.

- Pilar Alessandra, The Coffee Break Screenwriter

Guru Quotes

I’ve decided to add a new weekly feature — Guru Quotes! I feel it’s due time we celebrate those mentors/consultants/teachers/lecturers/authors who provide us with such valuable insights into the art and science of screenwriting.

One such consultant is Pilar Alessandra (whose birthday happens to be  today — Happy Birthday Pilar!). I had the opportunity to read her wonderful new book, The Coffee Break Screenwriter, a few weeks ago and was blown away by the wealth of information it contained.

It’s all in there — from concept, to beats, to rewriting, to polishing your final draft — spread out in bite-sized chunks that allow you to work your way through your masterpiece 10 minutes at a time.

Whatever your level, you’re guaranteed to find some new tool to help you in your writing. This one’s absolutely going on my list of Essential Books.

Hot Tip

For a limited time, if you order the book from Pilar’s web site, you’ll receive “a copy signed by the author and an additional CD of the key templates and worksheets within the book (includes outlining, scene-writing and pitching).”

Every few weeks I’ll showcase a modern script that does something really well. The discussion will center on a specific facet of “screenwriting craft.” It won’t be a critique of the full script.

Today’s script is…

The Voices

Genre: Black Comedy / Horror
Premise: A disturbed but well-meaning man attempts to walk the straight-and-narrow while receiving advice from his “talking” pets.
Writer: Michael R. Perry
Details: 111 pages / January 28, 2009 draft
Status: In Development / Black List 2009

Screenwriting craft — What sets this script apart?

SENSORY IMAGERY

What is Sensory Imagery? Here’s a pretty good definition:

Sensory Imagery is a writing technique based on the five senses. Using [words] to describe what is seen, heard, felt, smelled, and tasted draws the reader into the story… [T]his technique helps the reader to feel transported into the place where the story takes place by helping the reader to feel, hear, see, smell what the main character [experiences].¹

Basically, the more you can evoke a reader’s five senses, the more immersive and vivid your script will feel.

Sights and sounds are obviously script mainstays (“Only what you can see and hear”). But what about the other three senses? If you’re a skilled writer like Michael R. Perry, you can also strategically evoke (or suggest) touch, taste and smell.

In this example, the protagonist Jerry, returns to the spot where a woman (Katie) has been killed. (WARNING: Graphic imagery):

Keep In Mind

• Enhanced sensory details like taste and smell in a script are used primarily to indicate a character’s reaction to something — hence, to show what’s happening. For example, you wouldn’t describe the aroma of a hot cup of coffee if a character isn’t savoring the experience.
• Don’t get carried away with your scene descriptions. A little goes a long way. Only utilize sensory imagery that’s essential to a reader’s comprehension of what’s going on, or to reinforce tone. You’re writing a script, not a novel, after all.

Do you utilize all five senses in your screenwriting when appropriate?

Further Reading

• Scriptshadow review of The Voices
  

How To Be An Agent’s Dream Client

by Michele Wallerstein

An agent works very hard to guide a writer’s career. We help them with their material, we set up important meetings for them, and we see that their material is read by the right people, we negotiate their deals, we share information with them and we even listen to their personal problems. Is that enough? OK, we also show an interest in their spouses and children, we try not to hurt their feelings when their work is rejected; we are loyal and often very caring. We keep our eye
on the ball and an ear to the ground. We know what’s going on in the business and who’s buying what. Is that enough?

But… then we must let the writers go out into the world by themselves and we pray that they do not do themselves harm. This is the most daunting of our tasks.

Here are ten (10) things that clients mustn’t do:

1. Getting stuck on one idea. I’ve had clients that have written the same basic story in novel, screenplay and theatrical play form. This is an incredibly huge waste of time.
2. Thinking everyone is wrong, except you. When your project has been turned down by more than five (5) companies, chances are it won’t sell. This can happen with a pitch or a completed novel or screenplay. Right or wrong, they aren’t buying and there’s nothing you or your agent can do about it.
3. Ruining a meeting. Are you talking too much or not enough? Are you listening to the principal person in the meeting? Did you arrive late? Did you dress inappropriately? Did you argue too much? Did you stay too long?
4. Missing your big chance. I’ve represented many writers who really wanted to direct. In one specific case the writer became a producer on various TV series over the years. I kept telling him to direct some episodes, but he said that he was too busy. He never became a director.
5. Calling your agent too often or not often enough. If you don’t seem interested in your career, why should your agent. If you are calling every day without new material or ideas, you are nagging. Big no-no.
6. Not showing appreciation to your agent, manager, and lawyer. Yes we all get paid, but sometimes that isn’t enough. Everyone wants to feel approval. We all want someone to simply thank us for a job well done. Take them to lunch; buy them a simple birthday or Christmas gift. Say “thanks.”
7. Changing agents. Most of the time when clients change agents it’s because they aren’t getting work or selling their material. Is that really your agent’s fault or are you not doing your job very well? Have you brought in new ideas and scripts? Are you keeping up relationships with people you’ve met via your agent? Are you
   doing everything you can to further your own career? Remember, you get to keep 90% of the money.
8. Moving from a small agency to a very big one. Bad idea. If a small agency has worked hard to build your career, you can bet a larger one will come along and make tremendous promises to lure you over to their client list. Invariably, you will be ignored, forgotten, mistreated and overlooked.
9. Demanding too much. This can mean time from your agent, producer, development person, manager or lawyer. It can mean money for your project that may not warrant as big a deal as you want. Once you earn it… you’ll get it all.
10. Drugs and alcohol. They will ruin your career.

Getting into the world of screenwriters and published authors is difficult enough. Making the mistakes listed above is a sure-fire way of losing any toe-hold that you may gain, at any time. All too often I’ve seen successful writers fall off the “hot writer” list in Hollywood because of any of the above errors. Don’t let it happen to you.

Michele Wallerstein is a Screenplay & Novel & Career Consultant and author of “MIND YOUR BUSINESS: A Hollywood Literary Agent’s Guide To Your Writing Career“.

Email: novelconsult@yahoo.com
Web site: www.novelconsultant.com

Copyright 2009 Michele Wallerstein. Not be used without written permission from Author.

Avoid a deus ex machina ending to your story.

What is deus ex machina? According to Wikipedia:

A deus ex machina (Latin for “god out of the machine”) is a plot device whereby a seemingly inextricable problem is suddenly and abruptly solved with the contrived and unexpected intervention of some new character, ability, or object.

I feel the need to bring up this writing tip after reading Dean Koontz’ recent novel, Relentless. The ending was so contrived, so preposterous, I had to check the spelling of the author’s name twice to make sure it was indeed that Dean Koontz.

The novel was a good reminder of why it’s important to properly establish the rules of your world in the beginning of the story.

For example: If your story’s a western, with no sci-fi components, then it shouldn’t end with the hero saving the day after discovering an alien laser gun hidden inside a spittoon.

Can you think of any movies that use deus ex machina successfully?