I scare easily.

Last year it was going to a Hello Mornings meetup. In person. And while I was nervous, that led to me meeting some ladies who have turned into good friends. Real-life friends.

It also led me to my bookclub, which has been so awesome.

Last year it was also attending (in)RL – another in-person meetup. Maybe not quite as nerve-wracking, because two of new friends from that Hello Mornings meetup were there as well.

And (in)RL? Led to another friendship that has been supportive and encouraging. It also led to me attending Influence last fall, which led to …

Well, you get the idea. Small steps of bravery (that might not seem so brave) led to bigger things.

And yesterday I took another small step, that might or might not lead to other things, but at the very least it kept me from giving in to fear, and that alone makes it a big step.

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Getting Brave originally appeared on Seasoned Joy on January 29, 2013. Consider leaving a comment!

Feel like it’s been ages since I did one of these. Perhaps because it has been.

— 1 —

H continues to pick up words on a daily basis. She’s 18 1/2 months, and it’s such a fun age. She’s also just getting into the “I have some strong opinions about things and I am not hesitant to let you know them” age, which isn’t quite as fun.

— 2 —

We just said goodbye to my inlaws again after a very very brief visit. And they don’t have another visit planned as of yet – it seems like forever when we’ve said goodbye to them without already knowing when we would see them next. I’m sure it won’t be all that long though – the two grandkids out here are too much of a draw.

— 3 —

We got the kids a small table, and they’ve had a few afternoons where they have actually played at it together. Peacefully. It was so astonishing to me that I took some pictures of it to show their dad when he finished working. He was shocked as well – “They were playing together????” Well, not really together so much as next to each other, but either way. Progress.

— 4 —

H is a much bigger fan of crayons than G ever was – I’d try him on them every so often but he was never interested. He’s started to like coloring now, and H has to color as well whenever he is. And she’s also done some coloring even when he wasn’t – unfortunately all over the walls. I missed a crayon when I thought I’d gathered them all up after they were done. So most of the downstairs walls are scribbled on in blue crayon, right at H height.

— 5 —

G got his hair cut last weekend and was not at all sure about that “lean back into the sink to get his hair wet” thing. The faces he made during it were hilarious! So wish I’d had a camera with me to capture them. Once he got into the chair he did a great job of sitting still and letting our friend J cut his hair. And he looks like a different kid once he gets the mop cut back. As J said, he’s got my hair – ridiculously thick and heavy.

— 6 —

Still no need for H’s first haircut. I’ve tried to put barrettes in her hair but she never leaves them alone, instead yanking them out as soon as I get them fastened (the little baby barrettes as her hair is still so fine and wispy). Yanking them out that way ends up pulling hair out as well so I’ve stopped trying.

— 7 —

H got a baby doll from her aunt & uncle for Christmas and she LOVES it. She immediately had a new bedtime routine – must have baby tucked under her arm before she can go to sleep. It’s so cute hearing her call “Beebee!” when she spots her baby doll as we get her settled for bed.

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Seven Quick Takes: Kid Edition originally appeared on Seasoned Joy on January 17, 2013. Consider leaving a comment!

— 1 —

Nothing like a surprise blogging hiatus. I wish I could say it was for some happy reason, but it’s not. My last post in November was right before we went on a 2 1/2 week vacation, and I hadn’t managed to get posts written ahead and scheduled. A little over a week after we got home from our trip (or, in other words, right about the time I was finally caught up on laundry and our routines were semi-functional again), I learned that my brother lost his fight with leukemia. He didn’t even make it six months from his diagnosis. I couldn’t even begin to write anything over here I was so devastated. Still am, but I’m at least functioning and am figuring out how to get back to what normal is now.

One of my favorite pictures of my brother & I, because of the happy memories it brings to mind. I was still in college here, so it’s from a long time ago.

— 2 —

I am so incredibly thankful that during our trip I was able to see him. It ended up being just over two weeks before his death – I saw him on a Sunday, and he died on a Tuesday 16 days later. For all that I’m so grateful that I saw him, I still can’t really think about that day that I spent with him. Hopefully at some point I’ll be able to remember it without breaking down into tears.

— 3 —

My brother’s funeral was held in his home state of Colorado. Unfortunately for me, a poorly timed blizzard closed the interstate and kept me from making it to the funeral, reception, or burial. We had to stop just west of Hays, KS, and ended up turning back the next day when the roads proved to be so bad. My sister-in-law’s cousin’s husband (i.e., I have no idea what to call him beyond “a relative”) was so sad to hear that I wasn’t going to make the funeral that he recorded it for me. I haven’t gotten the video yet, and don’t know when I’ll be emotionally ready to watch it. If ever.

— 4 —

None of it seems completely real yet. Would that be different if I had attended his funeral? Maybe. Maybe it still wouldn’t, because I still expect that I could call him up any time and get an enthusiastic greeting. I still expect to hear second-hand stories of his latest adventures from my parents.

One of the last photos I have with my brother, from two years ago. I wish I had other, more recent photos because I really hated almost all of the photos from that session. Some of the worst family pictures we could have possibly come up with, and now they end up being the only ones we’ll have with everyone. Although, I guess we’ll never have pictures with everyone in that I was pregnant with my daughter when this photo was taken. So there’s at least one more family member who didn’t make it into the group shot.

— 5 —

It may sound crazy, but I am kind of dreading my birthday this year. I always, ALWAYS got a call from him on my birthday. Last year I missed his call thanks to dealing with the kids, and I still have the voicemail he left me. It was only a few weeks later that he got his diagnosis, so that call/voicemail was the last time I heard from him when we still all thought everything was “normal.”

— 6 —

I really thought I might make it through this post without crying. Not so much. Other things I’m dreading: the anniversary of his diagnosis. His anniversary & his wife’s birthday (which are on the same day). His kid’s birthdays. His birthday. The anniversary of my last visit with him. The anniversary of his death. I guess we’ve at least made it through the first round of firsts – first day, first week, first Christmas, first New Years. And today is the first month anniversary.

— 7 —

I just miss my brother. I know he’s in a better place, and I’ll see him again someday. I don’t know how I would cope if I didn’t have that to hold on to. That doesn’t change the fact that I’m grieving that he’s gone, and that we didn’t get the miracle for which we prayed.

My brother and my son. He never met my daughter sadly. The day I went to see him right before he died she was getting over a cold and we couldn’t risk her sharing any germs with him as his immune system was nonexistant.

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Seven Quick Takes: Brother Edition originally appeared on Seasoned Joy on January 11, 2013. Consider leaving a comment!

— 1 —

My husband was cleaning out his text messages from his phone and told me that he found that on six separate Sundays I’d sent him a text saying that our son was completely obnoxious. So, the question is: is my tolerance for his behavior lower on Sundays? Is it that my husband is gone most of the day hanging out at his friends house watching football that makes my son so obnoxious (I know he misses his dad and endlessly repeats that he misses daddy & wonders if daddy is coming home soon. Is it some of both?

I’m not sure, but either way I’m looking forward to the end of the NFL season and no longer being a football widow. Or, more specifically, a football single mom.

— 2 —

R is building a mudroom-style area in the garage, just next to the door into the house. The way the house is laid out there is no space for it inside, and since we’re almost always going in and out through the garage, this makes more sense than trying to use the coat closet near the front door. He’s got plans for a bench with space underneath for shoes and boots, and a setup with cubbies for gloves and hats and the diaper bag. Plus hooks for hanging coats. I am super excited about the functionality this should add.

— 3 —

Is anyone else as dumbfounded as I am that Thanksgiving is next week?

— 4 —

Sunday it hit 66 and we were running around outside with long-sleeved shirts or hoodies only. Monday it never even reached 40 and was snowing. We did not run around outside in hoodies only.

— 5 —

I never planted tulips this fall. I’m going to regret that in the Spring.

— 6 —

As I’m writing this post, my son is sick AGAIN. I’m not sure if I’m imagining it or not, but it feels like he’s already been sick as frequently this fall as he was all last fall and winter. Poor guy. And poor the rest of us, who may or may not catch what he has, but we all have to deal with him being sick and miserable.

— 7 —

At what point do the stores put out next year’s calendars and planners? I keep looking every time I’m at one of the big box stores, and so far it’s still (clearanced) academic calendars. I’m hoping to get one that I can see & examine first, instead of just buying one online like last year. I liked the one I bought, but not as much as I’ve liked others, so I’m trying to avoid getting the same kind. And I hate hate hate going to those sorts of stores during the Christmas shopping season, so I feel like I’ve lost my best chance to get one. Bummer.

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Seven Quick Takes originally appeared on Seasoned Joy on November 16, 2012. Consider leaving a comment!

I don’t think I’m a failure because I haven’t finished memorizing 1 Peter 1. I think I’ve failed because I haven’t made any efforts to memorize it in over a month. (Actually, since right after I got myself caught up before.) I went to a conference. My kids got sick. I got sick. My kids got sick again.

Life got in the way, and I got out of the habit. Why is it so hard to continue with good habits that are established with great effort, and so easy to slip back into bad habits that you think you’ve managed to break?

Hmmm, that reminds me of a passage by Paul.

No matter. I’m way behind, but I’m going to start again. I won’t finish according to schedule (which would be, if I’m calculating correctly, this week), but I can still work on it.

I don’t want to just let the rest of the chapter slide. I want to learn it all.

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Scripture Memory Failure originally appeared on Seasoned Joy on November 14, 2012. Consider leaving a comment!

— 1 —

My girl is really starting to talk a lot lately, and it is so cute. It seems like every day there’s some new word that she says and we find ourselves saying “did you hear her say ___?” She says “WUN” as in “one … two … three” and then races across the room to grab us. She says “GO!” as in “ready … set … GO!” when she’s doing the same thing; apparently it just depends on her mood.

— 2 —

My mother-in-law returned home Monday afternoon (home = Arizona). This was kind of a strange visit; she was in the state for almost 3 weeks, but we saw her for only 10 days, and those days were all split up with a couple of days here, then she’d be gone, then back, and repeat and repeat. It actually ended up being kind of rough on the kids; it was never a long enough stretch for H to get used to her, and there were so many goodbyes for G and he tends to be CRANKY CRANKY CRANKY the first day after she leaves. So there were a lot of cranky days. So, my hopes for all that I’d accomplish during her visit did not come true; she was here a lot less than I thought, H never wanted to stay with her so that I could have some peace and quiet, and we ended up having to use two of her afternoons here dealing with buying the van. Ok, so it didn’t take the whole afternoon, but it took up all of H’s naptime which in many ways is the same difference. My thinking/blogging/organizing time was claimed.

— 3 —

H has taken after her big brother and is OBSESSED with eating ice. All the time. And our ice maker cannot keep up with the demand of three ice fiends. I’ve taken to virtually never getting ice in my drinks so that there’s as much as possible for the other three people in the house. I’d buy some ice cube trays to try and help with the demand, but our freezer is a drawer, and the one time I tried to do that, it ended up sloshing water everywhere when I closed it. And that was trying to close it gently! I know me to know that there’s no way I want to deal with the cleanup of the regular spills that would result from me trying to fill lots of ice cube trays. So instead R buys a bag of ice every so often and dumps it into the bin. Kind of ridiculous, I know.

— 4 —

I don’t think I have any pictures from Halloween that turned out, but my kids were ridiculously cute. And that’s not just my opinion; several of the houses where we visited I heard them saying as they opened / shut the door that they were the cutest trick or treaters they’d seen all night. It helps having small kids, I realize. G was a firefighter, and H was a tiger. G’s costume was really cool, but H’s was ADORABLE. She wore the hood happily, and toddled around in the little suit that came complete with a tail. Seriously, it was unbelievably cute. And their cuteness scored with a boatload (err, wagonload) of candy.

— 5 —

We went to Costco earlier this week and I thought that G was going to lose his mind at some of the toy displays. There was this one train table and then a fire station/police station doll house that had him enthralled. I’m not sure what we’ll end up getting him (them?) for Christmas, but I’m thinking this may be the last year he won’t have really really strong opinions on what he should get. And I might be wrong about that; last year might have been it.

— 6 —

H’s hair is starting to grow, but for right now it’s mostly growing in the back so she’s almost-kinda-borderline getting a mullet. Yeah, I’m keeping a close watch on that and will be trimming it before it gets to be a true mullet.

— 7 —

Both kids have very strong opinions on car rides. As in, they like them and feel that they should always be brought along on any trips that are going on. Daddy going to hang out with his friends? It’s all I can do to peel them away from the door. And H’s tears and fury are amazing. Daddy will be doing that hang-out-with-friends thing tonight, and I’m not especially looking forward to their reaction when they realize that someone is going somewhere and not taking them. There will be tears. There might be tantrums.

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Seven Quick Takes: Kid Edition originally appeared on Seasoned Joy on November 9, 2012. Consider leaving a comment!

1. Purchase vehicle & deal with getting it legal (tags, insurance).
2. Read at least 4 books.
3. Get caught up on writing reviews.
4. Platelet donation (assuming health allows)
5. Share photos of the kiddos.
6. Menu plan for the month. By the 1st weekend.
7. Spend 30 minutes working on filing.
8. Spend 30 minutes working on kids clothes (get ready for cooler temps; box up outgrown items, etc.)
9. Read for bookclub. And attend bookclub (assuming children/health permit).
10. Quicken kept up and budget stuff caught up.
11. Send a letter to my friend S. in Colorado.
12. Passwords streamlined/saved and computer backup done and a routine scheduled.
13. Read MacArthur book and post review.
14. Read Davis book and post review.
15. Read Zondervan books and post (or schedule reviews).
16. Get next DR series half written.
17. Go to camera store & see if my camera can be fixed.
18. Make plans for Thanksgiving
19. Try and schedule family pictures. Sickness hit hard lately and it’s been ignored. Hopefully the photographer has some time available still!
20. Get sponsorship/button swap stuff figured out for other blog.

Do you have any goals for November?

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November Goals originally appeared on Seasoned Joy on November 7, 2012. Consider leaving a comment!