Seduction Tuition

Phone Conversations

I get the impression that a lot of guys out there are doing decently well at getting phone numbers and building attraction, but are getting a lot of flaking after acquiring the phone number. This challenge is to help you guys improve your phone game so that you're able to turn your phone numbers into dates. Your goal is to spend the maximum amount of time talking to women on the phone. First, let's talk some phone game theory. Men and women view the telephone very differently. Men view the phone as a tool that allows us to schedule our lives and arrange meet ups with our friends. For a woman, talking on the phone is almost as good as meeting up with a friend. For example, when two guys chat on the phone, the conversation usually goes something like this:

"Hey Dave, what's up tonight?"
"I'm going to Skybar at 9. Wanna come?"
"Yeah, totally.... Hey, I'll see you there, man!"
*click*

Now, I ask you guys this: have you ever heard a woman talk on the phone like that? No! A woman would think that a conversation like the one above is weird and unnatural, and it's exactly the way that a lot of guys come off when we call a woman and immediately change the subject to meeting up. Women want to chat on the phone, even if it's silly small talk. When we understand this, we can change our phone habits so they make women enjoy our calls, and feel comfortable and natural meeting up with us. So, here are some rules for a little phone game exercise. Please don't see these rules as hard and fast laws that need to be followed all the time, but techniques designed to improve your natural phone game.

Contact women the next day or the same day that you get their number.
For the first call, don't even mention a meet up (unless you timebridged for that day). Just vibe and build comfort. [For more on time-bridging, check out Interview Series CD Vol. 4: Timebridging and Dates with Future and Ajax]
For subsequent calls, don't mention the meet up until you have chatted for at least five minutes.
If you get her voicemail the first time, leave a message.
If the woman you're calling is busy, at work, or being distracted, just say "hey, I'll call you back when you're not distracted." If she tries to get you to stay on, then stay (unless the distraction is really annoying).
If you have a phone number, call it every two days, even if you keep getting the answering machine. Don't give up until you have called at least five times.
If a woman is picking up the phone, continue to call her every two days, or more (especially if she is investing in you by calling back). Do this with all of the phone numbers you have!
Don't be afraid to make small talk. If you have the phone number, you are in Comfort! You can get away with mellow chit-chatty conversation. Talk about any topic you want, just try and make it interesting!
Try and get into deeper conversation. “What were you like in high school?” “Tell me about your family.” Etc...
Call your female friends and women who have "let's just be friends"-ed you and talk to them!

The goal of this is to make you into one of those people who is constantly talking on the phone, getting phone calls and socializing over the phone. You want to get calls back while you are on dates, and constantly interacting with a wide group of friends. You'll be amazed at how this changes your social dynamic. Good luck, guys!

For more information on Phone Game, you can check out Interview Series CD Vol. 10: Phone Game with Savoy and Sinn , or Chapter 22: Phone Game in Magic Bullets .

Tenmagnet

Random Threesome Technique

By Savoy

I don't know why this just popped into my head, but I remember being out a long time ago with a few crazy friends of mine. They were all coked up, and I don't do coke. While sober I couldn't deal with how ridiculous they were acting, so I had to have a few shots. I use the word "a few" here in the same way that George Bush might have made "a few" mistakes in the whole Iraq thing.

Drunk Savoy turns into Troublemaking Savoy pretty quickly. I was making out with a friend of my friend and periodically going back to the bar for more drinks. At the bar, I was making out with a girl who just hanging out and otherwise minding her own business. At some point I decided that girl-at-the-bar needed to join our table, so she did. Then I was making out with both.

We'd run into Style that night. At one point I remember him giving me one of his looks. Like he was asking "do you actually have a plan here, or are you just screwing around again?"

In truth, I didn't. Despite having a skillset, I'm not out to meet women every night. Certainly not now, but even way back then. I mean, top chefs don't cook all day, every day. Sometimes I'm just out with coked-up friends, getting drunk, and trying to convince the bartender that you can make a drink that starts with three shots of Gin.

So Troublemaking Savoy had to turn into Dating Guru Savoy. I think my liver and brain compromised, and decided I could be Drunk Savoy Who Will At Least Try. I kissed one girl. Then the other. Then I looked at the second girl and said "you don't mind sharing, do you?" No, she didn't. So I asked the first one. She said she didn't mind either. Well, gosh darn it, sharing is caring, isn't it? We made quick plans to all go back to my apartment when the bar closed.

OK, I'm pretending that I really thought that that would work. I didn't. It's like the time I invented the Secretary Opener when Sinn and I were playing the "Who can get blown out quickest" game one night. After the first group opened successfully, I even said them "you mean that actually worked? You're not running away?" The only thing more amazing than that was that Sinn got a date with a cute blonde out of that group. Then again, Sinn could get a date out of a mannequin, so nothing surprises me anymore.

Back to that night. Logistics meant that I only actually got one of them home - the other was driving her friend back to Temecula or somewhere ridiculous. As strong as my frame is, I'm not sure it's strong enough that a woman is going to go into my bedroom and have a threesome with two people she just met, while her friend waits out in the living room. [Why didn't I try for the foursome? Because this was Drunk Savoy, damnit, not Creative Savoy]. But it's worked since then.

This technique is best used when clearly the center of attention (as Drunk Savoy so often insists on being) and clearly in a "party" vibe. Results may vary. Try. Report feedback.

Savoy

The Video Camera

By Tenmagnet

Ever wonder what people are thinking about you?

Do you ever see a group of people chattering and laughing, and wonder if they're talking about you? Then, do you wonder whether they're saying good or bad things about you?

Are you ever talking to a woman, and you say something that could be interpreted the wrong way, and suddenly you feel really awkward and feel the need to explain yourself?

It's called self-consciousness, and it's a really bad habit.

I was really self-conscious when I started out in the game. I think smart, analytical types fall into self-consciousness a lot easier than others, and as a really analytical guy, I was constantly trying to guess what people thought of me.

It was like I had a mental video camera (or a mirror) pointed at myself, playing back everything I did, so I could make sure I was coming off right. Sometimes, at night, I would sit and play my "tapes" of that day, wondering what I could have done better, or beating myself up over things I said.

Then I turned the camera off, and my life got way better.

As it turns out, that video camera wasn't doing what I wanted it to do. I used it to try and improve myself, to make people like me, but it didn't work. It didn't make me an attractive person, and it didn't give me good feedback on what others thought of me. In fact, it just messed me up, and getting rid of it was one of the best things I've ever done.

At first, though, it seems like the video camera would be a good idea. Self-consciousness is, basically, being concerned about what others think of you, and of how you "come across." I'll be the first to agree that how you come across is really, really important. Why wouldn't having a little mental video camera help you come across better? There are several reasons.

First, people don't judge you nearly as harshly as you judge yourself. The fact is, 90% of the time when two people meet, each person is thinking "I wonder what [the other] thinks of me, I hope [the other] likes me." They're so worried about themselves that they're not passing judgment.

Think about how often you pass judgment on others; now think of how often you're worried about others passing judgment on you. Personally, unless someone is being a total idiot or is really awesome, I rarely think much of someone I just met. 95% of people fall into the "yeah, they're okay" category, and the other 5% is split between "ugh, this person sucks" and "this person is really cool."

>Basically, if you're concerned about what people think of you, 95% of the time you're wasting your time.

Second, people actually like others better when they're showing their flaws and not apologizing for them. You're better off being "yourself," saying a few things here or there that are moderately dumb, and handling those mess-ups with grace, than you are trying to be flawless.

Self-conscious people are boring and sterile. They don't say anything funny or interesting because they're afraid of saying something wrong. Interesting people are willing to say something wrong here or there, as long as the overall interaction is fun.

Third, that little video camera uses a lot of brain power! I actually used to stutter and run out of things to say when I was self-conscious because I was constantly multi-tasking. Once I took all that brain power I was using to analyze myself and applied it to my conversations, my conversational IQ went up by 20 points in one night. My wit and reaction times went up dramatically once I didn't have to filter my actions through my self-consciousness filter.

So, how do you deal with self-consciousness? There are a bunch of different strategies, some of which work better for different people. I recommend that anyone who has issues with self-consciousness should try all of these, and find out which works best for you.

The first thing you have to do is realize, logically, that self-consciousness is counterproductive and wrong, and be able to recognize when you're being self-conscious.

But, convincing your logical brain that self-consciousness doesn't work is pretty easy compared to teaching and training your subconscious and emotional mind to stop a destructive thought pattern.

The best way to get over self-conscious thoughts is to put yourself in uncomfortable situations and blast your way through. Public speaking is a great way to do this. And of course, meeting women, either during the day or at a bar, is the best way to get over this.

Also, I highly recommend improv classes for eliminating self-consciousness. Next to going out and pushing yourself into meeting women, this is the best thing you can do. Improv classes are pretty much designed to break down self-consciousness. Basically, they involve making a fool of yourself in front of a small group of people who are also making fools of themselves. Oh, and you have to be clever at the same time - it's pretty tough.

Finally, one thing that worked really well for me was shifting my attention. I took that part of my brain that was trying to guess what people thought of me, and I devoted it to observing how people were reacting. I started focusing on watching a woman's face, and not speculating about what might be going on in her mind. So if I said, for example, a joke that was a bit rude, and I was worried that I had offended her, I would look into her eyes. If she looked like she was getting offended I would say "aww, Sarah's so nice, she's totally offended" to diffuse the situation. If she laughed at the joke, though, I'd just keep going.

This is important because you still need to be conscious of how people perceive you if you want to be socially calibrated, but self-consciousness is not the way to do it. Watching body language and reaction is objective and reliable, whereas self-consciousness is subjective and unreliable. By watching how a person reacts, instead of trying to guess what she's thinking, you can do a much better job of knowing what is going through her mind.

And most of the time, she's just enjoying the ride.

Tenmagnet

Tenmagnet is a training instructor for Love Systems . Check out their flagship material Magic Bullets and the Routines Manual .

Smartphone Game

By Savoy

How do you get beautiful women in your life?

Guys don't tend to talk about this stuff. Maybe once in a while your friend might tell you that your opening line was lame or that your clothes are out of style, but most men's lives are not full of messages and advice on how to succeed with women. There's no common male equivalent to women's magazines which are filled with articles like "How to get a guy!", "How to keep him!", and "How to rock his world!"

For a long time, men either had game or they didn't. Those who did just seemed to effortlessly attract beautiful women. Those who didn't were frustrated or settled and lowered their standards.

I knew I wasn't a "natural" but I wasn't going to settle either. Several years ago, I found other men on the internet who had the same outlook. From different parts of the world, with different ages, backgrounds, looks, and taste in women, all we had in common was a belief that picking up women was a skill that could be learned like any other.

"Picking up" beautiful women is a testable and repeatable process.

We weren't interested in armchair theories or conventional wisdom. We'd all been told to "be yourself" or "smile" or "just tell her how you feel" and it didn't work. So we started from scratch and applied the scientific method. In different cities and countries around the world, we went to bars, clubs, restaurants, coffee shops, malls, and lounges and tested and refined different tactics and reported the results. Over time, we found certain things that "worked" consistently with especially beautiful women. We started to see patterns. Eventually, we pulled different techniques that were successful and reproduce-able into a coherent step-by-step system.

That's when the results took off. Virgins started having one night stands. Average guys dated models and dancers. Divorced guys who'd been out of the market for years found themselves dating younger women they'd thought were unattainable. Today, Love Systems is the most successful dating coaching outfit in the world. Our offerings include our flagship book Magic Bullets , the Love Systems' Routines Manual (with hundreds of word-for-word scripts that the masters use and step-by-step instructions to make your own), and our weekend bootcamps. All of our instructors are former students, which is really inspiring; it shows that our teaching model works, and that our system can work for anyone.

Smartphones

Some of what we're doing now is very advanced and detailed – like in any field where the basic questions have been solved. But as an introductory article, we'll keep things simple. And we'll focus on smartphones. Of course, your choice of phone is not anywhere near the most important thing to succeed with women, but a smartphone CAN give you an advantage in certain situations, and we'll explore those in this article.

The only bit of theory I have to feed you first is the Emotional Progression Model. At Love Systems , we've built a seven-step model for consistently successful pickups. The phases, in order, are:

Approaching – You're a stranger to her. These are things you say and do to start a conversation.

Transitioning – Taking that initial conversation and shifting it into a more general and flirtatious interaction.

Attraction – Where you get her interested in you.

Qualification – Where you make her work for your interest and build a connection based on more than her looks.

Comfort – Where you solidify mutual attraction into an emotional and/or physical connection.

Seduction – Closing the deal.

Relationship – Where you steer the subsequent interaction into anything from a traditional boyfriend/girlfriend relationship to a friends with benefits situation.

You can get a more detailed guide to the Emotional Progression Model here. And a full treatment of each phase (and more) is in Magic Bullets .

In any case, there are three different parts of the pickup where you can use a smartphone to your advantage:

During the initial "pick up" or meeting (i.e., when you first start talking to her at a bar or coffee shop or wherever you meet her).

When getting her phone number.

To see her again (to go on a date or to hook up with her that night).

Let's discuss these individually...

1. During the initial pickup

The phone helps you most during the Comfort phase. If you're at a bar, this might be half an hour into the interaction, when you've temporarily separated her from her friends and you're sitting together in a quiet area of the bar. Part of the Comfort process is getting to know each other. So if you're telling a story about your sister, for example, and you happen to have a picture of her on your phone, show her. If you're telling a story about an interesting or exotic pet, show her. It makes you and your stories seem more real.

You can use pictures in subtle ways to solidify her attraction to you. For example, women tend to be attracted to men who other women are interested in. (We call this "pre-selection" and this is one of the eight sure-fire triggers to create attraction that we talk about in Magic Bullets ). So you can be telling her a story of something funny that happened on a recent camping trip, and then show her a picture of your camp... which just happens to be of you and at least one beautiful woman. Don't point her out or draw attention to her. If she asks, don't be defensive. Say something like "oh that's my friend Kayla. You guys would really get along; she has the same crazy sense of humor that you do." Act as if beautiful women are a normal part of your life. You can use video in the same way.

Music is deeply important to many women – women tend to appreciate experiences (and men for that matter) that can put them through different emotional states. So if you start talking about music, and there's a song or a band that you're excited about and that she might like, don't be shy. Show that you are passionate (women like men who are passionate about anything... the passion is far more important than the interest or hobby in question) and excited to have her listen to such-and-such a song. And then pull out your headphones for her and play the song on your smartphone. Better still, pull out your headphones with a splitter so that you can both listen simultaneously. That's a shared experience just between you two, which builds intimacy and comfort in itself. It's like you two are in your own little world for a minute, listening to your own music, separate from the world around you. That's the kind of shared experience that can help build comfort.

2. When you get her phone number

With some of the basic techniques we teach, it's actually fairly easy to get a beautiful woman's (real) phone number. It's significantly more challenging to get her to meet up with you again. Beautiful women – especially younger ones – have a reputation for being "flaky" or difficult to get on the phone, difficult to make plans with, and unreliable in terms of following through with those plans.

Before getting into how your smartphone can help you with this, let's take a quick look at the underlying social dynamics. Let's say a typical, attractive, social woman is out at a restaurant with her friends. While waiting at the bar, an interesting man approaches her. A few minutes later, he asks for her phone number so they can "go out sometime." At that moment, she genuinely would "go out" with this man "sometime"...

... but it doesn’t turn out that way.

Going out "sometime" is different from going out Thursday night. To see her "sometime" all you have to do is be more interesting than doing nothing. That's a pretty low standard. She can agree to that, especially when she is "in the moment" and enjoying his company. However, most beautiful women receive far more exciting social invitations and social obligations than they have time for.

For her to go out with you, you need to be more interesting than anything else going on at that time, like friends, hobbies, work, other dates, or relaxing at home. That's a tough standard to meet, especially considering that when you call her, she's probably not in the same open, social, interested emotional state that she was when she met you. Especially when she met several other men in the intervening time. What, you thought you were the only guy who noticed her? Or that after talking to you for a few minutes and giving you her number that she considered herself off-limits for other men? She might have liked all the attention and flirting, but she doesn't have time to go on nine dates this week. When you call, she is going to look for reasons NOT to go out with you.

Moreover, meeting up with strange men is scary for most women. She might not feel safe. She might worry it will be awkward if she doesn't like you. Women also tend to be more analytical than men about social situations. She may wonder why you'd even call her when you only met for a few minutes and you know so little about her. Are you desperate? Or are you a player?

To have a good chance of seeing her again, you need to establish some Comfort with her during the first interaction. This means you need to Open, Transition, Attract, and Qualify her first. I don't care if you only have 10 minutes. You just have to play faster. If you haven't been through this process, the phone number you get is most likely useless. But even if you do, getting her phone number the right way gives you far more chances of her answering when you call and seeing you again. Here's how:

Have something specific you're inviting her to do. She should plan to come with you to see your friend's concert on Friday, not to "hang out sometime."

Bait her into suggesting the date and let her chase you. Drop little hints of things you're going to do or want to do, and see if she tries to become part of those plans or says something like: "that sounds fun." Then you can invite her along.

Focus on the date, not the phone number. The phone number should be an afterthought.

Don't make the date, or the phone number exchange, the last part of your interaction. That can make you seem like a player. Stay at least 5 minutes afterwards.

Impress her friends. When she goes home, her friends should be excited for her that you guys are meeting up later and not wondering who that creepy guy was. Peer group approval is much more important for most women than for men.

Program your number into her phone as well. Many people will not answer the phone if they don't know who is calling. Have her program your name as something silly like "my hero." Better still, make it something relevant to your interaction. When she sees that name pop up on her phone, she'll smile and be reminded of the emotional state she was in when she first met you.

Deliberately set up callback humor. Like in the above example, if you have a running joke during your interaction where you have a nickname for her, and later you phone her and call her by that nickname, it often puts her back into that emotional state. She'll be back in the world of being out, having fun, and meeting men, as opposed to whatever she was actually doing when you called.

Smartphone tip: Transfer some interesting and unusual pictures into your phone. Associate one of them with her phone number when you program her in. Make sure she knows what it is, by having her call you to "test" that it works. Use this picture for callback humor. Let's say you associate a picture of a dorky-looking girl with her number. When you call her, immediately start talking about this dorky girl (describe the picture so she remembers) who is in your phone and how you are curious about her. Pretend you think it's her. When she gets the joke, it will help put her back in the moment where she met you and was having fun. It's also a subtle tease on her, which solidifies attraction.

3) To See Her Again

As I mentioned previously, women tend to be far more concerned than men about how they are perceived by others, especially around their sexual morality and decision-making.

For now, let's stick with the basic scenario of you meeting a woman when she's out with her friends at a bar, and she's not going to leave them to go home with you no matter how much she likes you because she doesn't want to risk her reputation.

Always ask her who she is with and how she got there. In some cities (like Los Angeles) it's very common for one woman to drive and to pick up her friends on the way to the club. In others (like New York), women will often arrive separately and meet up once they're there. Once you know her situation, you'll know how long it will take her to be alone and where she'll be. Later that night, just before she's about to be alone, send her a text message inviting her to a convenient (for her) late-night bite to eat or afterparty.

Use your smartphone to make yourself stand out and your offer enticing. If you want her to meet you at another bar or a cool afterparty, record and send her a quick video from the party, maybe you and your friends inviting her (and her friends if necessary) to come join you. If it is you and your friends, make sure they're not all guys – cool looking men and women should be telling "Jen" (or whatever her name is) that she should come to the party. Put the directions straight into google maps or mapquest so it's easy for her.

We have a concept at Love Systems called compliance. I won't really get into it here, other than to say that you don't want to be asking a woman to invest or work more than she wants to. Even answering the phone (from a stranger she met the night before at a bar) is an investment if she's not sure how interested in you she is the next day. That's why we called text messaging "the low compliance alternative" (to a phone call).

One of the great things about smartphones is how powerful they are with text messages:

You can store your outgoing text messages. One of our instructors at Love Systems is great with this. Using the same scientific method, he has discovered the most effective text messages to send after the initial meeting, to go for the one-night-stand, to keep him in her head in the days after if he didn't get the one-night stand, to set up a future date, and so on. So he's built up a database of the 3-5 best text messages for any occasion, and just sends them out when needed. You too can test, learn, and run experiments.

Smartphones thread text messages, so you can see your whole conversation with a woman as if it were a chat. You don't ever have to wonder if you've already sent her a given text message. You can always refresh your memory about her and what she's said. And when your phone "time-stamps" each text, you can get an idea of the rhythm of your conversation. You don't want her to think you are pushing too fast or are too available. So, if she responds to each of your text messages with about a 15-minute delay, you can go slightly faster to speed things up, but don't respond right away. And once in a while, give a big delay. If the usual pattern is (for example) every 15 minutes, at some point wait a few hours. It shows without saying anything that you have other things to do, and makes her wonder and think about you. She might even text you to find out if she inadvertently offended you or did something wrong. Now in her head, she is chasing you. This is good.

Stay in her head by once in a while sending (even as a mass text message to a bunch of women you've met) a picture or video of something funny that happened. Don't try to impress her and it doesn't have to be romantic or about her in any way. A guy on the street with a funny sign with your comment "be careful tonight, the crazies are out" is light and interesting, doesn't betray too much interest, and keeps yourself in her head.

Record your phone calls so you can improve. With most beautiful women, at some point between the first meeting and seeing them again, you're going to have to talk to them on the phone. There is a strategy and art to this call (this is what we call "phone game"... there is a chapter on it in Magic Bullets ) and as you're learning it, you may as well record yourself so you can evaluate and improve after each call. Just put her on hold, activate a three-way call to your voicemail, skip your greeting, and then conference her back in. Now the two of you are talking and your voicemail is recording.

Some beautiful women don't date men they've just met once (see "when you get her phone number" above for some of the reasons why). Your best chance to see her again is to see her "out" somewhere, usually when you've both got your friends with you. If you do a good job the next time you see her, you might graduate from "random guy from the bar" to "that interesting guy Chris" (or whatever your name is). And then you have a better chance of seeing her alone. So how do you do this? Use the mass text message feature. Send a message to all the women you met that week like "Great show at House of Blues tonight - you should drop by." She probably won't, but it might start a conversation about meeting up somewhere. Even if not, it puts you back in her head and shows that you lead an interesting and exciting life that isn't dependent on her.

Summary

One thing I hope you take away from this article is how the subtle little things matter a lot. Dating science isn't about the "killer pickup line" or the magic secret that unlocks women's hearts. It's about understanding the system and doing enough of the little things right to succeed with women.

Your journey might have started with smartphones, but don't let it end there. Dating science is real. It works. It's not manipulative, it's not only for certain kinds of guys, and it's not [insert whatever excuse you’re making here].

Savoy

Emotional Progression Model

INTRODUCTION

You see an attractive woman at a restaurant. Or maybe you're introduced to her at a party. What do you do now?

If you're like most men, you don't have a plan beyond "get to know her" or "start talking to her and see what happens." But as for what you actually do, the possibilities are endless. Do you:

Say hi?
Ask her name?
Ask a question?
Tell her a story?
Deliver your best "pickup line?"

There are literally billions upon billions of possible things you could be doing, especially when you take your body language and tonality into account. Your actions will combine with her personality and mood to create a particular emotional impression. She will react and then it's your turn again, with another set of infinite choices based on the new situation. There are so many possibilities and variables involved that the world's most powerful computers would not be able to model even the first half-second of your interaction.

This is part of the reason why meeting women can be stressful and frustrating for men. Our brains are configured to break down a big process into a series of smaller, logically-connected tasks. Say you're setting up a campsite with some friends. Your overall goal is to survive the night in some comfort. You know that to do this you need to build a tent, start a fire, and so on. And for each objective, you can learn the steps required to make it happen. Most men are intellectually comfortable in this sort of situation.

Succeeding with women is more complicated because meeting women is an interactive process, and people's personalities are unique, complex, and variable. In contrast, your campsite doesn't care how you build a fire. You don't have to be subtle or worry about embarrassing it in front of its friends. Matches don't go in and out of emotional states where they sometimes want to be list and sometimes they want to go home.

Fortunately, we don't have to throw up our hands in frustration. Human behavior will never be as predictable as building a fire, but through intelligent hypothesis-generation, an amazing amount of testing, and a good does of humility about the limitations and applicability of any individual insight, we can identify productive paths to succeeding with women.

EMOTIONS AND SEXUAL BEHAVIOR

Most women tend to make sexual decisions based more on their emotional state than pure physical attraction. This does not mean that your looks are not important. They absolutely are, and if you are good-looking, some women will have sex with you based on your looks alone. However, while women vary greatly, most of the time you will need to make an emotional impact. One thing we've found in our combined tens of thousands of approaches is that there are four emotional triggers that - if you can activate them all - tend to make women say yes.

These are:

Feeling that a man's value is equal to or greater than hers.
Feeling that she's special to him or that she's earned his attention.
Feeling comfort and connection with him.
Feeling aroused by his touch without awkwardness or embarrassment.

In general, your best chance of sleeping with a women is to trigger these four emotions in her.

EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS

Let's briefly look at these triggers to help develop a model for female sexual behavior.

Feeling that a man's value is equal to or greater than hers.

The concept of value is explained in Chapter 7 in Magic Bullets . Essentially, women like to sleep with men who are "better" than them. This is what creates attraction in a woman and explains why we call the time when we are trying to create this emotion in her the Attraction phase.

Feeling that she's special to him or that she's earned his attention.

Most women like to feel that they have earned a man's attention and that he is interested in her for more than her looks. They like to feel "qualified," so we call this the Qualification phase. Qualification is where you make your interest in her explicit. You should not show signs of interest in her until she has shown signs of interest in you, which usually happens in Attraction.

Feeling comfort and connection with him.

We call this the Comfort phase, which is the longest in the Emotional Progression Model. It begins toward the end of the Qualification phase, when it's clear that both of you are interested in each other. It ends when you have established enough comfort and connection with her that she is comfortable being in a sexual situation with you. A sexual situation is one in which a woman is engaging in sexual behavior (touching that goes beyond kissing) in a place where sex could realistically happen.

Feeling aroused by his touch without awkwardness or embarrassment.

We call this the Seduction phase. Seduction is the only phase in the Emotional Progression Model that can really be measured physically. The closer you are (physically) to sex, the further along you are in the phase. Seduction is primarily based on intensifying her willingness to have sex with you and mitigating her reasons not to. Once you have sex, the Seduction phase is over.

Thus these four triggers form the backbone of the Emotional Progression Model. And they generally come in this order:

Attraction (Chapter 7)
Qualification (Chapter 8)
Comfort (Chapter 9)
Seduction (Chapter 10)

In fact, these are the only four phases you may need if you are introduced to someone through your Social Circle (discussed in Chapter 12 of Magic Bullets ) and all you're looking for is a one-night stand.

A COMPREHENSIVE MODEL

Of course, much of the time you are going to want to meet women who aren't already in your social circle. Whether you see a woman at a nightclub or a bookstore, you need the tools to approach her and start a conversation. We call this the Approaching phase:

Approaching: Starting a single-subject conversation with someone.

Approaching focuses on approaching a woman you don't know (or more often approaching her and whatever group of people she is with, since women tend not to go to social events alone) and starting a conversation.

Transitioning: Turning a single-subject approach into a normal, free-flowing conversation.

Transitioning turns a simple interaction into a longer conversation by introducing at least one new topic and changing the dynamic of your interaction. This is an important phase - and one newly formalized for this book ( Magic Bullets ) - that turns approaches into conversations.

With Approaching and Transitioning and the four emotionally-based phases addressed previously, we have a path from meeting a woman to beginning a sexual relationship with her. Another innovation in this book is that we take the process one step further, with the Relationship phase:

Relationship: Managing the subsequent relationship.

After the Seduction phase, you've got the whole "what next?" question to deal with. Do you want her as your girlfriend? Someone to date? A friend with benefits? The Relationship phase takes you through this, and how to sustain and develop the type of relationship you want.

Adding these three phases creates the full Emotional Progression Model:

THE EMOTIONAL PROGRESSION MODEL

Approaching (Chapter 5)
Transitioning (Chapter 6)
Attraction (Chapter 7)
Qualification (Chapter 8)
Comfort (Chapter 9)
Seduction (Chapter 10)
Relationship (Chapter 11)

INSIGHTS

The stages of the model function as intermediate goals and measures of your progress. It's not a strictly linear process - Attraction overlaps a bit into Qualification, both Attraction and Qualification bleed into Comfort, and the Relationship phase done properly starts in Comfort as well - but the phases are essentially sequential.

The general overall linearity of the Emotional Progression Model yields five big insights:

Attraction comes before Qualification.

Make a woman attracted to you before showing significant interest in her.

Attraction comes before Comfort.

Make a woman attracted to you before looking for commonalities, deep conversations, etc.

Qualification comes before Comfort.

Have a woman work to win your interest before you open up to each other.

Comfort comes before Seduction.

Help a woman feel connected to you before progressing sexually.

Seduction comes before Relationships

Whatever you want with a woman, your medium-term goal is to sleep with her.

The last of these might be surprising - and has certainly been controversial. A common insight into female sexual behavior is that women will often delay sex for some time with a man she sees as a potential boyfriend while satisfying physical needs with another man or other men in the meantime.

While this is true, it does not mean that the man who is "dating and waiting" has the best chance of becoming her boyfriend. Very little builds as much intimacy with a woman as repeated sexual encounters. Sleep with her first, and then concentrate on showing her you'd be a good boyfriend rather than showing her you'd be a good boyfriend and then trying to sleep with her.

EMOTIONAL MOMENTUM

A further insight concerns the principle of emotional momentum. Emotional momentum explains why most interactions need to move forward or die. You can't stay in any particular phase forever. It will bore or frustrate most women. Even within a phase, you need to be moving forward. Say you had a great three hours meeting a woman at a party and made it all the way to the Comfort phase, but the next two weeks consisted of both of you unluckily leaving messages on each other's voicemail. You will likely lose emotional momentum and your chances with her. Emotional momentum can work against you through no fault of your own.

Emotional momentum can also work for you. Each phase that you can smoothly pass through builds up your momentum for the next one. When a woman talks about sleeping with you and says "it just happened," that's emotional momentum at work (and good Seduction skills). The whole process should happen quickly, not over months.

So that's a quick overview of the Emotional Progression Model. The rest of Magic Bullets goes into much more detail and gets to the nuts and bolts of how to use it.

Savoy

Mystery DHV Magic Trick Explained

Hi,

A friend of mine just forwarded me a a cool video I
wanted to share with you.

But it might not be up for long because Mystery might
yank it down since it reveals one of his closely guarded
magic tricks he uses in bars to pick up girls.

http://www.seductiontuition.com/mystery-magic-tricks

Wait, I assume you know who the Pick Up Artist, "Mystery" is, right?

Like him or hate him, Mystery is famous for teaching his own brand of pick up.

...and you may already know that he uses Magic tricks as a way to demonstrate value and enhance his personality.

I'm not saying that it's a good idea for EVERYONE to go learn magic
tricks, but girls DO seem to like them and if you're curious how he does it...

http://www.seductiontuition.com/mystery-magic-tricks

This guy Brad Jackson deconstructs not only how he did the effect, but how he works it into his game.

You'll see hidden footage of Mystery at a bar talking to a girl and making her straw literally jump right out of her glass without touching it.

This is pretty unique and I have to admit, I was impressed. I might even try it.

This video reveals all
http://www.seductiontuition.com/mystery-magic-tricks

Enjoy!

NightVision

How To Make Her Your Girlfriend

How do you make a woman into your girlfriend? While I can't solve this issue in one article, I'll give the best starting point that I can for it.

It is both easier and harder to make a woman into your girlfriend than it is to date her casually. Because monogamous relationships are the dominant relationship type in our society, women will often assume that this is where your relationship is going unless either of you say or do something to imply otherwise.

This may seem strange on the surface. After all, you probably have not ended up in Traditional Relationships with most of the people you've slept with. This is because people often "say or do something to imply otherwise." This can be very subtle. For example, if she mentions other men or dates at any point after the first hour or so of your interaction, she's probably not looking for a Traditional Relationship. If you have a "party" vibe about you and never seem to get serious, she may assume the same about you.

Now, let's assume that you do want a Traditional Relationship. How do you get this enticing woman to be your girlfriend?

The good news is that a lot of this process is not all that different from getting her to sleep with you - show enough interest to get her looking in that direction, but not so much that you come across as pushy, clingy, or not a challenge.

In other words: get close to her without being clingy.

Your goal is to see her two to three times per week and for her to come to the conclusion on her own that she doesn't want to see other men and/or that she'd rather give up the ability to see other men in return for knowing that you won't see other women. It's important for her to come to this conclusion herself as opposed to your pressuring her.

If you pressure her into a commitment before she feels completely ready - or at least ready enough to bring it up or hint strongly at it herself - then you're significantly adding to the likelihood that she'll cheat on you later. So let's not do that.

For best results, start when in Comfort. Vague long-term plans based on common interests are a great idea. For example, if I'm dating a woman who tells me she loves art, I'll talk about how we have to go to the Getty Museum one day. If we realize we both love ice hockey, I'll comment on how we have to go to a game. If she wants to be a better cook, then I'll suggest we take a cooking class at the place under the Arclight, and maybe make it more specific by agreeing on what kind of cuisine we should learn. [For more information, check out Chapter 9: Comfort in Magic Bullets .]

Not only are you uncovering great date ideas, but you are also 1) reinforcing any emotions she has that you and her have some exciting possibilities ahead, 2) communicating that you see potential for some kind of longer-term relationship with her, and 3) helping her imagine herself with you in other contexts in the future. Don't actually plan anything at this stage - keep it vague. Planning is boring for many women and takes away excitement and adventure and can make everything feel "too serious" to her.

Right after you first sleep with her is a key time. Solidify the connection if you can. Stay over or invite her to stay over. Have breakfast together. Call her the next day. Communicate to her by your actions (without saying it) that she's not a one-night stand to you. That's easy enough. Now do all of that without being clingy. There's no formula here. You're just going to have to use your intuition.

Also remember that women can be very unpredictable right after sex, so she may display emotions that actually have nothing to do with you. Don't react to these. Society (both the media and her peer group) bombards her with messages that her worth is tied up in her sex appeal but also makes women feel guilty or cheap for enjoying their sexuality. If she's got some odd emotions to deal with, the last thing she needs is some guy being needy. She may well act very distant from you, but still like you a great deal.

Call the next day. Handling this call correctly is crucially important. It must not be awkward.

Don't refer to having had sex with her. Don't call to "check in" with her. Call because something funny happened that you want to tell her about. Be the same natural, fun, and interesting person you were before you slept with her. Don't let any awkward silence develop, but don't sound nervous or talk too much or too quickly. If you're worried about awkward silences, cue up enough topical things to talk about for at least an eight to ten minute conversation. Don't rush into making plans unless she seems very warm and comfortable to you on this call. End the call first.

On one of your next calls, invite her to do something. If she sees you again after you've slept together, you're well on your way. Use each time you see each other to discuss mutual interests and upcoming events. Further dates will follow naturally out of these conversations. For example, say you are both talking about your love for classical music. You mention that you have tickets to the symphony for next Friday. Presto. You have another date.

At some point, she should give off some indications that she's committing to you. For example, she might reserve part of her weekend for you, or want to know what you're doing on the weekend so she can make her plans. She might suggest a weekend getaway. Introducing you to her friends more than once is a very good sign. Listen to how she introduces you, and make sure to invite her along when you are doing some activities with your friends, especially exciting high-status activities. Remember, women lose social value if their friends perceive them as easy, so if she's introducing you to them more than once, she is probably not introducing other men at the same time.

If she hasn't given any of these signals, be patient. Use the telephone to your advantage. A couple of phone calls during the week, each ideally ten minutes or so, to tell her about something interesting that happened or to check in on something specific in her life (if she was sick before, to find out if she's feeling better, if she just started a new job, to find out how that went) works wonders. It shows that you care and that you listen. Most of the usual telephone rules still apply.

At some point, she will bring up the idea of you as her boyfriend or ask you if you're seeing other women. This is not a time for a jealousy plotline. Just be genuine here. Your goal is very close.

It is a rare woman who will see you two to three times per week and never refer to you as her boyfriend or initiate a discussion about the future. But if it happens, then the responsibility falls on you to say something like "I feel funny bringing this up, but I realized we never actually talked about this. Are we supposed to be seeing other people?" Be emotionally neutral - and not nervous - when you say this. One way or another, this will resolve the issue.

Savoy

Flaking

Now we’ll discuss how to make sure she shows up in the first place and doesn’t "flake"

First, ask yourselves this:

* Have you ever made plans with a woman and not have her show up?

* Have you ever gotten a phone call earlier that day telling you that she "has to work" or "isn’t feeling well"?

* Have you ever made plans with a woman and then she told you to "call to confirm"

If any of that applies to you, you need to really pay attention here. This will banish flakes forever.

First, let’s review the first three phases of The Emotional Progression Model:

Attraction

Qualification

Comfort

The biggest mistake most men make in terms of Day2s is going for the phone number as soon as she is attracted (in Attraction) and not pushing the relationship forward. Then they assume that the woman will meet them again, and they can continue where they left off. Only to get "flaked". They never meet up.

Why? Let’s look at the situation from a woman’s perspective:

She goes out to a restaurant with her friends. While waiting at the bar, an interesting man approaches her. 3-5 minutes later (about how long it should take to get some attraction going), he asks for her number so they can "hang out sometime". At that moment, she genuinely would "hang out" with this man "sometime"...

...but it doesn’t turn out that way.

See, going out "sometime" is different from going out Thursday night. To see her "sometime" all you have to do is be more interesting than doing nothing. That’s a pretty low standard, so of course she’ll agree to it. And, if she has nothing else to do, she might actually see you. However, most worthwhile women rarely have "nothing else to do".

So, to see her at a specific time, you need to be more interesting than anything else she could be doing, like friends, hobbies, work, other dates, or relaxing at home. That’s a tough standard to meet in 3-5 minutes. Especially since over the course of the night she met a bunch of other men. Did you think you were the only man to notice her? She likes all of the attention and flirting, but she doesn’t have time to go on 9 dates this week.

*A woman is going to look for reasons NOT to go out with you*

Remember, meeting up with strange men is scary for a woman. First, there are issues of physical safety. If she’s not comfortable with you, she may feel the risk of date rape or worse. Less dramatically is the hyper-developed fear that many women have of being in awkward social situations. Women do not generally go by themselves to interact socially with strangers. So they bring a friend. To a man, the idea that you might not have a great time with this woman is irrelevant. Maybe you will, maybe you won’t. Maybe you don’t care, because she’s beautiful. Either way, you’ll never know if you don’t meet up. Worst case scenario is you cut it short early and go home. Men don’t agonize and worry over whether it will be socially awkward or not. But many women do, and we need to take this into account.

It should be clear by now that a quick interaction leading to some basic attraction and "we should hang out sometime" is rarely going to lead an exceptionally desirable woman into seeing you again. She fears safety, she fears social awkwardness, and who is this guy anyway? She’s busy and she only met you for five minutes. If she’s really trying to convince herself not to show up, she’ll wonder why you’d even call her when you only met for a few minutes and you know so little about her (after all, you spent that time attracting her as opposed to learning about her). Are you desperate? Or are you a player?

To fix that mistake, make sure you get into Comfort during the first meet.

I don’t care if you only have 10 minutes. You just have to play faster. You need to qualify and get into comfort for your "time bridge" (seeing her again) to stick. If you qualify and get into comfort, you minimize ALL of the objections we just discussed.

The second biggest mistake you can make is to go for the Day2 unnecessarily

There is nothing in Emotional Progression Model that mandates meeting her again at a different time (a Day2). Sure, you may have to, like if you meet her on your lunch break and have to get back to work, but a lot of guys are used to thinking of getting a woman’s phone number as something special. It’s not. Phone numbers do not lead to happy social lives; relationships do.

A phone number is a tool. It’s not a goal. It’s not even an intermediate goal. Don’t ever feel proud of yourself for getting a phone number.

In a way, a phone number is an admission of failure, even if it’s sometimes an unavoidable failure. A phone number says "I am not trying to move this relationship forward right now. I am taking the risk that she will flake and am hoping to continue this later. In the worst case, I lose the relationship with her. In the best case, she meets me for the Day 2 and I’m more or less where I am now"

Make sense? A phone number never gains you anything. A Day 2 never gains you anything. All it does is give you another chance to push the relationship forward if the logistics weren’t right to do so when you met her.

Here’s an example from the bootcamp in LA last weekend. We took the guys to a lounge in Hollywood and one of them was deep in conversation with Suzanne, a very fit Asian woman. Suzanne’s friends were happy for her to talk to our guy, because he had already won them over in A2 (as per the Mystery Method). It was about midnight. There was no time pressure. But when our student "ran out of things to say" he took her phone number and rejoined us.

This was a bad decision. All the phone number was going to do was help them meet up again to spend time together. However, they were already in the middle of spending time together. Psychologically, he wanted to "lock in" what he had "gained" so far: her willingness to give him her phone number. That’s a rookie mistake.

Of course, we didn’t let him leave Suzanne. We led him back to her with instructions to escalate until rejection. When the lights came on an hour later, they left to get pizza. And then to go home together. There was no need for a time bridge.

He made dozens of mistakes in picking up Suzanne. We were watching him the whole time and went over them the next day. However, because he had the guts to go for it, and because he did enough things right that he’d learned that day in our seminar, he got the girl.

Ready for the good news and the bad news?

The good news is that now that you know this, you’ll never make these two mistakes again.

The bad news is that you’ll still need Day 2s, and you’ll still get some flakes. To banish flakes entirely, you need to use these ADVANCED tactics:

* Have something specific to do. She should plan to help you shop for your niece’s birthday on Saturday, not "hang out sometime"

* Bait her into suggesting the Day 2. Let her chase you. Drop little hints ("I’m going to X" or "I’d love to do Y") and see if she tries to become part of those plans.

* Don’t make the day2 (or the phone number exchange) the last part of your interaction. That *feels* like a pickup. Stay at least 5 minutes afterwards.

* Engage her friends. When she goes home her friends should be excited for her that you guys are meeting up later and not wondering who that creepy guy was. To a woman, her friends’ approval for the men she dates is very important. Much more important than peer group approval is for men.

* Focus on the Day2, not the phone number. The phone should be an afterthought (and isn’t always necessary, although you take a big risk by not getting it). If she’s all excited to come see you at a book reading you’re going to be at the next night, you don’t need her phone number. If she likes you, she’ll come.

* Set up callback humor. If you have a running joke during your interaction where you have a nickname for her, and later you phone her and call her by that nickname, it often triggers a reversal to the previous emotional state. She’ll be back in the world of being out, having fun, and meeting men, as opposed to whatever mundane thing she was actually doing when you called.

* If she’s drinking, address it. Tease her that she won’t remember anything because she’s drunk. Pretend that you guys would have so much fun together, but she had to ruin it by being drunk and making it so it would be weird when you call. Bait her into convincing you that she’s not all that drunk, that she’s really into you, and she can’t wait to hear from you. After she’s said that, it becomes a lot harder for her to be flaky. Warning, don’t do this unless the girl actually IS really drunk. It will annoy her if she’s just had a drink or two.

While you’re learning all of this stuff, you’ll still get flakes. Here’s what to do when she calls to tell you "I have to work tonight"

* Don’t be upset. Don’t lecture her. She doesn’t care. All you’ll succeed in doing is making her momentarily feel badly. She’ll feel better once the next guy gives her attention, and she’ll associate negative feelings with you. Remember, she’s canceling because she’s not that into you yet. [99% of the time, this is the case. Would she be canceling if it were Brad Pitt?]. Making her feel badly is only going to make her less into you.

* Just in case that wasn’t clear. You planned to meet a girl at 6? You had to leave work early? Fight traffic? Cut your workout short? Miss your favorite show? Tough. She doesn’t care. That’s not her problem. If you tell her all of this, you just look like even more of a tool because you rearranged your life for a date with her.

* Act like a guy who has lots of women interested in him and pursuing him. If that was you, and a girl flaked, your reaction would be "OK cool" because you have lots of other girls who would love to see you and more than likely whatever it was you were going to do was something you were going to be doing anyway with cool friends. If you don’t think you have that attitude down properly, try canceling the next time you set up a first date with a random girl. Listen for her casual reaction. It didn’t ruin her day. It shouldn’t ruin yours.

* A phrase I’ve had a lot of success with (credit Savoy) is "No problem, I’ll invite someone else". Obviously don’t use this on a third or fourth date, but when it’s still casual, it’s perfect.

Flaking sucks. I want you guys to banish it forever. Your social life will improve dramatically. For even more tips and tricks for making your life easier with women, check out the Magic Bullets ebook.

Savoy

Voice Disqualifier

For many men, this is the first step... but a lot of guys have no idea how to make the first conversation COMFORTABLE for the girl...

And on the phone, you can’t engage in physical flirting or convey attractive body language...

So WHAT you say and HOW you say it is EVERYTHING!

So what’s the quickest way to make her feel comfortable?

There’s something you can do in the first 3 seconds of a phone conversation to settle things down...
I call it the “Voice Disqualifier.”

Some of you advanced PUA’s may already know what I’m referring to here.

So how do you do it?

As soon as she says something... say something like... “Are you sick? Dude, you sound like a dude right now. Haha.”

Say it with the right voice tonality and you’re gold.

If you say it properly, her initial reaction will be playful as well. This will immediately put you two in the right mindset for a nice, comfortable, stimulating, and enjoyable conversation!

So what do you do after this?

I teach you a bunch of ways that you can boost your phone game on my website...

Online Pick Up Secrets

Go check it out!

Your friend,

Derek Lamont

EASILY Grab Her Number Through Any Instant Messaging Program.

Is getting a phone number from a REALLY hot chick on MSN/AIM hard?

ABSOLUTELY NOT!

Escalating a conversation from instant messenger to a phone conversation is so easy if you know what you’re doing.

This is what I call “The Broken Thumb” routine.

So you’re talking to a girl... the conversation is going well and you are receiving a ton of online IOI’s from her. You can just tell she’s interested... how do you get her number?

Say this at the beginning of your conversation...

“Wow, this hurts SO much to type right now... ugh.”

She’ll ask you why... then say...

“I sprained my thumb playing basketball today... but whatever, it was worth it. I was the hero at the game. ;)”

Then continue the conversation...

When you receive the set amount of online IOI’s, then drop the BOMB!

“Gah! My thumb is REALLY killing me now. So sick of typing... but hey I have to ask you something! Give me your phone number so my thumb doesn’t fall off...”

Works every time... ;)

I have a ton of these routines and more... I even share my concise game plan on how to talk to these girls on the phone... and eventually get in her BED with you... completely naked!

Go check it out at

Online Pick Up Secrets

Your friend,

Derek Lamont

The Infamous 'Poke' Button On Facebook

A lot of guys ask me… Can I poke a girl on Facebook to start a conversation? Here’s the short answer… NO!

Sure, it’s a cool little tool to use on your friends… but for picking up beautiful women you barely know or don’t know AT ALL on Facebook? Not a chance!

Poking a girl (or cyber hugging, kissing, etc.) is pretty much useless… I mean… beautiful girls probably get poked more than the Pillsbury Dough Boy on Facebook!

And just as often, they press the “remove” button to get rid of those annoying pokes from desperate guys. I saw one of my hot girlfriend’s Facebook account and my jaw dropped.

She literally had dozens and dozens of guys poking her on a regular basis. Her e-mail account was filled with notices of guys she didn’t know poking her.

“I don’t even have time to get rid of those!” she tells me… boy, was she annoyed!

Poking a girl isn’t unique or funny… nor does it convey any value or induce any amount of attraction.

Really… nothing beats a good, solid, well-thought first message that conveys a LOT of value without sounding too cocky or arrogant… and that COMPELS her to message you back.

Typically, especially on Facebook, this can be tough. At least girls on online dating websites ARE looking for guys…

But surprisingly, building rapport with a good-looking chick on Facebook is easier than you think!

There are a few key ingredients in a first message that you really need to have. Listen carefully, here… because the first message is probably going to the most important message... or definitely one of the most important.

One of the key ingredients that your first message needs to have is a strong purpose. No, telling a girl that you barely know on Facebook that she’s cute isn’t a STRONG purpose. It’s a rather weak one.

And no… asking her to “webcam” with you isn’t going to work, either! Too many guys do that. It’s way creepy if you haven’t figured that one out yet…

A strong purpose can range from a very intriguing open-ended question to a silly little remark regarding her profile picture. No, a question like “How are you?” just won’t cut it. That may work in real life if you convey strong body language, but online, it must be much deeper… more thoughtful.

You really need to know how to push her curiosity buttons. You need to make her WANT to message you back.

I mean, you can even make a sly little judgment about her… something like… “Hey, you look like you’re on Facebook ALL the time…”

This will make her want to message you back. She doesn’t want you thinking that she’s a computer nerd that has no life… so she’s going to be compelled to message you back and correct your initial perception of her.

Really, it’s quite a simple mechanism that you can exploit.

Oh yeah, and remember… spelling and grammar is always important.

If you want to have all the tools to build rapport with girls on Facebook FAST, you have to check out my brand new course that I just released that tells guys, step-by-step, exactly how to pickup beautiful girls on Facebook.

You’ll never have to leave the house again to pickup girls… not that you SHOULD do that... but at least you’ll know how to. For the days you’re feeling lazy and you wanna get laid…

So go ahead and check out my course at

Online Pick Up Secrets

Your friend,

Derek Lamont