Self Esteem in Teen

How to Deal With Rebellious Teens

2009-10-27T02:57:00.000-07:00

Let's talk about teens between 13 and 18, when they supposedly reach adulthood. If you have children that age, you are probably suffering the consequences of their rebellious attitude. As a high school teacher, I deal with all kinds of teens, from the very shy to the very boisterous, from the combative to the passive, from the "in-your-face" youngster to the "yes-sir" student. As a rule, girls are just as likely to be rebellious, but they the way they show it is usually much more subdued than boys. They also show better social graces than their male counterparts. They all, however, must be handled a certain way if parents hope to obtain a modicum of self-discipline.

What Parents Should Never Do:

1. Scream, shout or yell. The moment you raise your voice, the child will stop listening and put on his mental "armor."

2. Sarcasm and irony. You will only provoke more rebellion and emotional hurt that may very well cause lower self-esteem.

3. Violence. It is sometimes tempting to raise your hand and smack that insolent mouth. Again, the result will be just the opposite of what you would like; plus, the teen will never forget it.

4. Compare and contrast. My father used examples from his own youth to try and teach me discipline. My situation and times were completely different from his and his "lessons from the past" never made the slightest impact.

5. False Role Models. What teen won't think "liar and phony" when his mother tells him not to lie, even though she has instructed him to lie to other people in the past? Before you exclaim "not me, I don't do this," think back about the many occasions in which you used a "white" lie to get out of an unwanted party or meeting. A lie is always a lie for an idealistic teenager who has trouble distinguishing the gray areas.

Discipline Techniques Parents Should Use

1. Sit down one-on-one with the child in an isolated area (no one else present) and discuss the problem in a well-balanced manner, giving him or her opportunity to explain. Make sure you listen very carefully and weigh the pros and cons before reaching a decision. Any appearance of injustice will provoke the most powerful reaction. Teens see only black and white, no grays. Their sense of justice is what we'd like to see in our much older judges and juries.

2. Never miss the chance to explain why Rosie can't go out with her friends at night. Be brutally honest about drugs and sex, two of the main dangers for a teen. Even if Rosie cries and throws a fit, don't give in and keep explaining with a measured voice that you have a serious responsibility toward her.

3. Cell phones are ubiquitous in teen hands. We have tried to control the plethora of electronics in our school with little success. We do however get good results when we take them away for a day or two if they use them in class. Parents have a good opportunity to apply effective punishment by confiscating the cell phone, MP3 or whatever they are using. Again, without raising your voice, explain that they'll get them back when they raise their grades or show more discipline. Teens understand very well that they have to pay the piper when they misbehave.

4. Set firm rules and stick to them no matter what. Teens, as mentioned above, see everything in black and white. If you bend a rule, they'll jump on it like a horde of hungry lawyers and make you suffer. These rules must be the same for all your children. "Why did my sister get away with it?" is not something you want to respond to.

5. Never set the bar too high. If you expect too much out of them they'll feel frustrated because they won't be able to do it. I met a parent who was upset with her son because he had received a 90 (A-) in physics when she wanted him to get 100 (A). The kid felt like a failure even though he had finished among the top 5 students.

The 3 Golden Rules:

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate

Born in Switzerland many years ago and now living in Brownsville, Tx, where I teach special education in a local high school. I love my job and the challenges involved in making a difference for so many bright kids who struggle to overcome their disabilities. I have followed education topics and international politics for the past 25 years and have lived in Europe and Latin America before settling in the U.S. My e-mail: rivera.jcs@gmail.com My blog: http://rivera2007.freeblogit.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jacques_Sprenger

Teen Self Esteem Too High?

2009-09-27T09:21:00.000-07:00

I recently read an article that stated that self esteem among teenagers had gotten too high. Here is the final quote from the article:

"Despite the popular beliefs, the vast majority of teens are quite satisfied with their bodies, appearance, intelligence, and capabilities. Efforts to instill self-esteem may have done their job too well, and like Muhammad Ali, most people feel pretty good about themselves - whether they should or not."

As I have been talking to over a hundred teenage girls from all over the country, I feel inclined to disagree with that quote. As I have been asking girls about the challenges that they face, body image is one challenge that comes up 90% of the time. That would not support the argument that the 'vast majority of teens are satisfied with their bodies'.

In my experience in working with teenage girls I have noticed that lack of self esteem is a major issue. I have worked with a lot of girls that put off a lot of self confidence, but that are very self concious underneath.

Here is a quote from the article that I kind of agree with:

"Twenge and other researchers believe that the decades of efforts to boost self-esteem may have created unrealistic expectations in today's youth, and their inflated self-esteem may lead to a sense of entitlement: "I'm great, so I deserve great things."

Jean Twenge is an associate producer of psychology at San Diego State University. I totally agree that there is an epidemic of entitlement among our youth today. From my own observations, levels of entitlement and levels of self esteem are not directly related. Believe me, there are loads of teens who hate who they are, but still expect that they deserve great things. In my experience it comes from the thought that since life has handed them unhappiness, the world owes it to them to make them happy.

While self esteem and entitlement may be too high in some teens, I believe it is still a major problem to be faced for those teens who do not like themselves.

Mathew Edvik is a co-founder of the Teen Esteem Council. He is the author of two ebook. 'The How To Guide To A Better Perception Of You' and 'Moms Are On The Inside Track To Heaven'. He has been working exclusively with teen girls for the last 3 years.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mathew_Edvik

Self-Esteem Resources For the Real World - Practical and Unique Ways to Improve Self Esteem

2009-09-08T23:42:00.000-07:00

Self-esteem has become the slogan for counsellors, psychologists, life coaches, and self-help gurus. We are told to instill it in our children, to foster it in ourselves and not let anyone damage our self-esteem. But what is it? What is this mythical, elusive concept that is supposed to change all our lives for the better?

Self-esteem is often defined as the collection of information you have about yourself. So it's the way you describe yourself or what you think or feel about yourself when you look in the mirror. It is the estimation of your value and worth.

Fine, that might make sense but how do we actually gain self-awareness and insight? How do we make self-esteem real and translate that information into our daily lives instead of it seeing it as meaningless psychobabble that is full of confusion and contradictions? Society tells us to find our inner strength without using our new found power to put anyone else down. We are told to have pride but not be egotistical. We should work on having good self esteem but don't just do it to please others. Right, it's all as clear as the sky in the middle of a storm.

What if we could clear the storm clouds and find a path the leads to insight and understanding? One avenue is to treat your self-worth as if it were a bank account. Therefore investing in yourself with the same attitude and motivation as you do your financial savings. Every dollar counts in today's climate so too does every cent of self-esteem credit.

Just as you would challenge a mistake on a receipt or invoice you have to challenge errors in your assumptions or perceptions about yourself. Do not bank information that is unkind or an unnecessary judgment - these things are of no value to you. Negativity won't increase your assets, the more you invest in negatives the more you will lose.

Do not bank goals or traits that represent a facsimile of what others want you to be. That means letting go of "should" statements such as "I should be more like my sister" or "I should have a better job by now".

If you invest your assets wisely, your portfolio will grow. The interest accumulates from not holding yourself back or letting others hold you back. By looking at your self esteem as a bank account you can translate the psychobabble into relatable and practical language that really can help you to accurately calculate your assets and resources. Thinking of your self-esteem as a bank account is the simplest way to understand your self-image, understand why it's worth it, and strengthen it if necessary. Decide your worth investing in.

"The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others." - Dr Sonya Friedman

For more information please visit http://www.hopechoice.com where you will find the Bank It Ebook. The Bank It Ebook is about self-esteem building for the real world. The booklet will take you through step-by-step activities that will allow you to see the affect poor self-esteem is having on you and how to change the way you see yourself. The Bank it Ebook is designed to build up your self-esteem muscles in an achievable and realistic way. Hopechoice is also to home to a range of Hope Challenge Ebooks that have been created from over twenty years of combined counselling experience and research to provide you with the most effective tools for change and over coming negative thinking.

The Hope Challenge Ebook will show you how to Combat fear, Make hope real, and Transform negative thinking.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gretchen_Netterfield

Parental Guide - Self Esteem For Children Today

2009-08-08T23:36:00.000-07:00

Dear Parents,

Do you know that nurturing self-esteem for today’s children is far beyond the ability of most parents?

We are all aware that today’s children are bombarded with advanced gadgets, which make daily parenting methods difficult to be practiced.

Children demonstrating one or more of the followings, may have already acquired low self-esteem patterns and need your immediate ATTENTION!!

- Not Wanting To Try New Things?
- Frequently speaking negatively about themselves?
- Exhibiting frustration for tolerance?
- Having difficulty making friends?
- Not easily motivated?
- Difficulty coping in school, producing poor results?
- Refusing to participate in activities and so on …

Is There A Solution?
Yes there is! You do have the key to unlock the mind of your child and influence the way your child thinks. The sooner you take action, the better your results. Your answer lies in developing your child's self-esteem.

Get A Complete Set of This Audio and E-Book on Parental Guide - Self Esteem For Children Today @ http://simurl.com/selfesteemforchildrentoday

Low Self-Esteem in Teenagers - The Three Most Obvious Negative Consequences

2009-08-08T22:47:00.000-07:00

Teenage self-esteem has been identified as a necessary factor in the growth of teenager towards a positive, healthy and matured youth. Low self-esteem or negative self-esteem in teens is said to contribute to a downfall of a teenager.

Here are the 3 most obvious negative consequences that may arise from low self-esteem are as discussed below:

Inability to be successful in education

A low self-esteem teen will not be able to concentrate in his or her studies fully as his mind will be constantly disturbed in irrelevant issues circulating his self-esteem. They would also lose interest to participate actively in co-curricular activities held in school hereby creating a negative impression among teachers and other kids around them. Consecutively, such teenagers will not be able to perform well in their grades or excel in sports activities due to their constant wandering mind and negative thoughts on their ability to succeed.

Involvement in social illness

Low self-esteem teenagers will easily get themselves involved in unhealthy social activities with other rough, rebellious teens. Due to their negative thoughts and constant sorry feelings for themselves, they tend to demand for attention from parents and society by getting themselves active in drugs, negative habits such as smoking, liquor and free sex.

Lack of civic -consciousness

Low self-esteem teens will fail to realize their inner potential and capabilities to stand out as an ambitious, successful individual in a society. Due to frequent negative thinking, they will automatically degrade their vision to improve themselves in studies and career causing a constant burden for parents and their surrounding society. Such attitude will finally cause the society to look down in the teens upbringing; in the end causing misery to their parents.

Alvin and his team recently has just launched a parenting product called Self-Esteem For Children Today on the Internet for parents to help their children in building their self-esteem.

Alvin Tan is also the founder of UndeniableProfit.com who has helped many individuals to jumpstart and grow their business online.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Alvin_Tan_LH

Group Activites For Teens

2009-07-15T21:00:00.000-07:00

Sometimes teens need new suggestions for creative and affordable group activities. If you don't have a lot of extra money to spend, it can sometimes be hard to think of fun things to do with your group of friends. You can still have lots of fun with not a lot of money! Check out these free activity ideas for teens.

1.) Host a movie night with friends.

Get together at a friends house and have each guest bring a refreshment, whether it be soda or a fun movie-themed treat. Serve the food and watch the movie! This will save you tons of money instead of attending the local movie theater and spending $15-$20 a person.

2.) Start a book club.

It's easy to start! Get together a group of 3+ friends and pick a fun book title to read for your first meeting. One month later, get together and discuss the book. Serve fun snacks and don't forget to pick a title for your next book club meeting! Before you know it, you'll have a large group of friends interested in participating.

3.) Host a video game competition.

Get together a group of your gaming friends and have some friendly competition. Organize your game play into play offs and see who can win the most matches. Keep score and think up a fun prize for the champion!

4.) Play Sports

It may sound cheesy, but some really fun times can be had playing a casual game of softball or kickball at the local park. Make a day of it! Bring a large blanket and have a picnic to relax after the game.

5.) Volunteer for Charity

Instead of getting involved in charity by yourself, get together your friends and volunteer. It is a lot more fun to volunteer in a group then it is on your own. Find a charity that you all have an interest in or even alternate charities every month so everyone in your group of friends can introduce a new cause to everyone else in the group. Some ideas include volunteering at the human society, political campaigns, reading to schoolchildren, and volunteering at homeless shelters. Or, start your own charity! Raise awareness about important issues and hold book drives, clothing drives, etc.

Hopefully this article has given you some good ideas for fun group activities for teens! If you're looking for more ideas, check out this site for some additional activities: Group Activities for Teens.

Ashley Covington enjoys writing articles about affordable activities for kids and teens. Check out her website for some more great group activities for teens ideas.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ashley_Covington

Habits of Successful Teens

2009-06-28T21:48:00.000-07:00

As you may have already experienced,there are no coincidences in life. What ever you sow you will no doubt reap.

Our habits and thoughts make or break us. We are creatures of habits, so as a teen with a the whole of your life ahead of you - what habits are you forming to ensure a brighter and successful future?

All habits and thought patterns determine 90% of all behaviours and thus the results we get in life. This leaves a measly 10% to chance.

Based on this fact how can you ensure success, not just in your academics, but in every aspect of life!

As a teen who wants to leave their foot print on planet earth ,you should be more aware of your thoughts. The bible states that a man's thought makes him or as a man thinks, so is he. Positive thoughts will lead to positive habits and these habits will be exhibited in the way you act (behaviour).

Let us exam the habits of two teens: teen "A" who was exposed to reading at an early age and teen "B" with no exposure whatsoever. Which of these teens will be more inclined to reading? Which of the two is better positioned to personally develop themselves and make the most of information available to all mankind?

Just a single positive habit will put you miles apart from your peers.

Certain habits are unbeneficial and they should be noticed early and stopped, because a habit once formed is nearly impossible if not absolutely impossible to break.

Form the right habits and learn the principles of successful teens find out more at http://www.Successfulteens.co.uk

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Laura_Lyseight

Facts on Self-Esteem

2009-05-17T08:41:00.000-07:00

1. The Blending of Self-Esteem, Self-Worth and Self-Love

Most of what is considered self-esteem develops in childhood. Self-esteem comes from being validated and receiving affirmation that you have worth and you gain self-esteem as you learn to manipulate within the world. From those feelings, you build competency. Self-esteem is a critical aspect of self-development and the more independent and competent you become, the greater the self-esteem. Your self-worth develops out of a sense of self-regard and as you interact in the world, you receive responses or feedback, most of which is conditional. Self-esteem develops out of our ability to assess ourselves and accept and value ourselves as having worth. Self-love is the ability to recognize that you are worthy of love not for what you do, but because of who you are; all human beings are worthy of love. Loving ourselves for all our strengths as well as weaknesses gives us the building blocks for self-esteem and self-worth.

2. Developing Self-Esteem

Loving ourselves with all our imperfections can be difficult. Self-esteem can be easier than self-love, because if you find something you are good at you can hide the fact that perhaps you don't love yourself. It's possible to know that you are good at several things and still not truly love yourself. Self-esteem develops as you learn to trust and believe in yourself. Respecting and recognizing you have value as a human being and are worthy of love will bring you deep self-esteem. Finding your voice to express your thoughts and feelings will help you develop self-esteem and becoming the authentic person you were meant to be will increase your self-esteem.

3. Help Children Develop Self-Esteem

Give your children realistic limits and boundaries, and appropriate discipline. Teach them that what they think and say is important and give them a voice to express themselves. Model respect in your family and expect and give respect to your children. Openly give children attention and affection; hug them on a daily basis. It's important to show them how to behave in a trustworthy manner and let them know when their behavior is trustworthy. Praise them openly when they accomplish or reach a goal and always encourage them to be successful and find something they are passionate about. Continue to support them as they grow and develop and above all, love them for all their strengths as well as weaknesses. Accept them for being a unique individual.

4. Attacks of Self-Esteem

Angry words or actions that undermine your sense of self attacks your self-esteem as well as a lack of love and support. Being disciplined with fear rather than love also devalues your self-esteem. Other ways to destroy self-esteem are learning to feel unworthy and being told you are worthless, having an expectation that you must be perfect to earn love or experiencing neglect and abuse can teach you that you are unworthy and have no value. Critical words, sarcasm or ridicule can create low self-esteem where failure with no way to better yourself can damage the spirit and leave you broken for life.

5. Managing Self-Esteem

Setting personal limits and boundaries and protecting them will help you maintain your self-esteem as will not compromising your values. Above all, treating yourself with respect on a daily basis helps you to manage and treasure the gift of self-esteem.

About this Author

Clare Steffen, Ed.D. is a licensed psychologist who offers marriage, family and child/adolescent therapy. As a Naturopath, Steffen performs lifestyle analysis. She has hosted her own radio talk show and has published books and articles on health and wellness topics.

5 Things You Need to Know About Identifying Low Self-Esteem in a Teen

2009-04-08T09:38:00.000-07:00

1. Detection can be Difficult

When you are trying to identify low self-esteem in a teen, you may be in for a challenge. A teen's self-esteem goes up and down frequently. This can make detecting low self-esteem difficult because one day you may see some signs of low self-esteem, and the next day that symptom has reversed. When you are trying to identify low self-esteem in a teen, it is important that you consider the signs that are present the majority of the time. If the teen shows even a few signs of low self-esteem, it might be cause for concern.

2. Eyes Everywhere

Teens often act one way at home and another way when they are with their friends. When you are attempting to identify low self-esteem in a teen, you must find out how she acts around her friends. Just because she seems down at home doesn't mean that she is that way with her friends. Finding out how your teen acts around her friends presents a problem for most parents. If you don't want to spy on your teen by following her around, you can consider talking to her friend's parents. If you are close to some of them, tell them that you are concerned about your child's self-esteem. If you aren't close to any of the other parents, you should stick to asking general questions about your teen's attitude.

3. Available Allies

If your teen is in school, you have people who can help you to determine if your teen has low self esteem. Teachers, counselors and other school officials spend a lot of time with your teen. In most cases, these available allies can let you know if they think your teen is at risk for or suffering from low self-esteem. School counselors and many teachers have training in child and adolescent psychology.

4. Signs and Symptoms

A person suffering from low self-esteem will often try to appear busy. This is so that she can keep her mind off of her image. In addition, you should be on the lookout for a sudden drop in grades, loss of interest in activities she once loved, living in the past, a fear of the unknown and a decline in friendships. She may also seem unable to accept her imperfections.

5. The Next Step

If you determine that your teen has low self esteem, you should try to decide what type of help is best in his case. Sometimes, an image makeover helps. To do this you just simply help him to get new clothes and an attitude that he is comfortable with. If his self-esteem is very low, professional help may be needed. In this case, you can talk to the school's guidance counselor to find the help your teen needs.

Casey Holley is a medical writer with more than 10 years of experience in the health and fitness industries. She has worked as a nutrition consultant and has written numerous health and wellness articles, including in-depth features about ulcerative colitis and other gastrointestinal conditions.

Last Updated: May 21, 2008

3 Ways to Improve a Teenager's Self Esteem

2009-04-01T01:30:00.000-07:00

1. Set Clear-cut Goals

Your teen can benefit greatly when you help her find a particular interest, set an objective and develop a plan for reaching it. She may be drawn to an activity where there are inherent goals, both incremental and ultimate, such as a scouting program, 4-H club, gymnastics or martial arts. You can watch your teen's self esteem soar as she reaches each level on her way to the final accomplishment.

When your child wants to explore something without built-in measures for success, be creative about developing clear-cut goals. Suppose he is interested in robotics or another aspect of science. In this case, you will want to help him define certain steps on the way to becoming an aficionado of the subject. You teen can begin with simple circuitry processes and work his way up to the more complicated designs. Proving to himself that he can accomplish something tangible in a complicated area will naturally boost self-image.

2. Teach Teens to Project Confidence

Has anyone ever told you to put on a brave face and you did just that? Chances are you felt better about the obstacle you were facing simply by bucking up, standing tall and putting on a smile. If you find your insecure teen slouching or frowning, ask her to participate in your little experiment. Though she may be reluctant, gently insist until she complies. Make her practice projecting confidence until it becomes an automatic response.

3. Work on Mind, Body and Soul

Teens have a tough time developing and maintaining a positive image of themselves while in the awkward process of mentally, physically and emotionally growing toward maturity. As a parent, you can ease your child's transition to adulthood by acknowledging and addressing her progress in these three distinct areas. Encourage spiritual growth by getting your teen involved in a community organization that shares her values regarding faith. Promote physical wellbeing by helping your teen find a sport or form of physical exercise that she truly enjoys. Inspire your teen to develop her mental faculties by challenging her to think analytically and logically.

Lisa Mooney holds a biology degree from UNC Charlotte and specializes in writing about stress management, family dynamics, personal relationships, nutrition and pediatric medicine. A survivor of cervical cancer, she credits her health in large part to her family and a positive social network.

Last Updated: May 6, 2008

Facts on Building A Teen's Self-Esteem

2009-03-27T07:11:00.000-07:00

1. Build Self-Esteem Early

Self-esteem is literally how somebody perceives himself, or more accurately, how highly he regards himself. Self-esteem is affected in many different ways but typically begins with how we think we're perceived by our parents and later our teachers, other adults and peers. Self-esteem is an important factor for many individuals to build successful personal and professional lives. A healthy sense of self-esteem begins early, but is perhaps most fragile and transient during the teen years.

2. Teen Years Can Impact Self-Esteem for Life

Teens have a lot of stress, and a lot of it has to do with peer pressure and body issues. The changing hormonal levels of the adolescent brain can wreak havoc on a person's sense of self. The identity isn't completely formed until well into one's 20s, so self-esteem is an important factor in the teen years. However, negative body issues or anxiety about relationships or peer groups can cause teens to become depressed, angry or agitated, or turn to drugs and alcohol in an effort to stop negative feelings of self-loathing.

3. Look for Negative Influences

Helping a teen to develop a healthy self-image is important to helping her to become a healthy adult. Recognizing negative influences in a teen's life can be a big factor in how effective self-esteem construction will be. Negative peer groups or negative media influences can be quite detrimental to the budding teen's self image, so monitoring and being aware of who your teen hangs out with, and what media she takes in, is important in understanding what messages she's receiving. However, you must do this monitoring in a nonintrusive and open way that lets her know you trust her and that you want to be there as she grows into a healthy adult.

4. Bond and Relate to Your Teen

Staying involved and updated on what the teen is interested in is an important way to bond and stay connected to him, which will help him to know that there are people on his side. Trying to understand his special talents and interests will let him know that what he thinks and has to say is valuable. Active listening skills are very important when dealing with teenagers. Learning to engage him and trying to live in his world (even for an hour or so a day) can be beneficial in helping him build a sense of self that's securely rooted in talents and pursuits.

5. Work on Your Self-Esteem, Too

Of course, adults try to be good examples for their children, but there are quite a few "train wreck" adults running around who do nothing but harm to budding adolescents. Learning how to be a positive role model and how to inhabit a healthy sense of self-esteem yourself is an effective way of building a teenager's confidence. Practice what you preach and you'll be greatly respected.
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Last Updated: April 15, 2008

How to Boost a Teen's Self-Esteem

2009-02-25T01:30:00.000-08:00

How to Boost a Teen's Self-Esteem -- powered by http://www.livestrong.com

Low self-esteem is unfortunately very common among teenagers, especially among teenage girls. Learn how to boost a teen's self-esteem with expert tips in this parenting video.

About this Author

Dr. Ferrara has worked with children and adult survivors of abuse for over twenty years in CT, NY and FL. She is currently in private practice in Tampa, FL and affiliated with the University of South Florida as adjunct associate professor.

Super-Sizing Your Teen's Self-Esteem

2009-02-18T01:30:00.000-08:00

Your teenager may go through times where their self-esteem goes up and down; especially if they're being teased by their peers. You may want to find ways of raising your teen's self-esteem to a higher level to help them cope with their issues. Here are some ways you can do just that:

Take the Time To Listen- You may not always be able to stop what you're doing when your teen wants to talk. Don't brush them away and say that you don't have time. This shows them you don't care even when you actually do. Tell them that you need a minute or two to finish up what you're doing and then you will sit down and talk with them.

Listen- Your teen needs to know that you're actually listening to what they're saying. Let them tell you what's on their mind. Ask questions related to what they're saying. For example, if they're telling you about someone at school, you can ask if that person is in their class or not. This shows them that what they have to say is valuable; no matter what it is. On the same token, don't interrupt them by saying what they're talking about is wrong. Let them talk through their issue first and then explain what might have been wrong about it.

More Praise- Offer more praise for the good things they do and less focus on the things they do wrong. You still want to show them what their mistakes are, but don't dwell solely on that. Tell them what they could have done right and praise them for anything they may have done correctly in that situation. This helps them see that they aren't as bad as they might think they are.

Punish Behaviors and Not The Teen- There will be times where you will have to dole out some form of punishment for your teen. It's important that you punish the behavior, but never tell your teen how stupid they are for doing it or that they can't do anything right. You would only be adding to their self-esteem problem. They need to know the behavior was unacceptable, but talk to them about how they could have handled it instead, so they don't come out of it feeling like they're not worth anything.

Share some of their interests- You don't need to like everything they do. Find some things that they like and learn about them. For example, if your teen likes to play golf; you can offer to take them sometime and play along with. They can even teach you how to play, so they can feel like they're really good at something.

Be Understanding- Don't laugh or brush off your teen's fears or insecurities. Always be understanding of that fear and help them work through whatever it is. Confess to some fears you might have had when you were their age. This shows them that they're not alone and they're not dumb for what they're feeling.

Encourage- You will want to encourage your teen to do whatever it is they want to do. If their career choice is to be an engineer, then encourage them to find out what they need to learn to become one and encourage them to do whatever they need to accomplish that goal. If they choose to become a professional sports player and not go to college; you should still encourage them to continue playing that sport, but they could do it while in college. Let them know that they can get a feel for how it could work if they get on a professional team later on.

These things give them the confidence they need to try new things and to look forward to the future. To get super-sized self-esteem for your teen, you can start offering it yourself. This will help them when they have issues outside of the home that could cause a poor self-confidence.

If you're looking for great information on ways to fully understand your teen, you can get it right now...any time of the day, any day of the week. Real Life Guidance to Understanding Your Teen is available for easy and instant download to your computer.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Aurelia_Williams

Strengthen Your Family’s Bonds with These Ten Tips

2009-02-11T01:30:00.000-08:00

Happy families have strong family bonds. Parents, as the leaders of the family unit, have to be responsible for strengthening and protecting these bonds. It doesn't happen naturally in our hectic day-to-day lives. You can create this firm foundation by committing to these ten essential practices that will strengthen your family’s relationships.

1. Schedule in family time. When you have teens, you will need to take a look at everyone’s schedule. We try to get together with our weekly schedules every Sunday night here in the Witmer household. But when I schedule something big for all of us to do, like a day trip, I do it one month in advance and put it on the calendar that hangs on the refrigerator.

2. Eat meals together as much as possible. Studies have shown that eating meals together helps with reinforce communication. If you unable to get together as a family for dinner because of busy schedules, try breakfast.

3. Do family responsibilities together. Make cleaning your home a responsibility of the whole family. Create a list of chores and have everyone sign up. Set a weekly time to either have the chores completed or do the chores. This gives your teen some flexibility for his/her own schedule.

4. Create a family mission statement. Place it in a predominant place in your home. Read it and talk about it often. Learn how to create a family mission statement.

5. Have family meetings. These can be scheduled events or you can make them impromptu, where any member of the family can call a meeting if they feel the need. Start each of these meetings by reading your family mission statement.

6. Encourage support for each other. Share when something goes well at work. Ask your teen how his/her test went. Commiserate when your teen’s team loses a game. Celebrate good grades and reward good behavior by doing something special together.

7. Take time out for yourself. Parenting is a huge responsibility that you are required to fulfill every day. Even the Department of Labor requires companies to give two 10-minute breaks during a work day. Shouldn’t you do the same? The reality is that you will be a better parent when you take some time for just you.

8. Volunteer together. Giving your time to make someone else’s life better is always a powerful learning experience. Learning important life lessons together will strengthen the relationship you have with your children. (See: How to Promote a Positive Volunteer Experience)

9. Become involved in your teen’s interests. You don’t have to be the coach, but you can help out with a fundraiser or by being in charge of snacks for the bus on away game night. Ask where you can help, it will show your teen you care about what he/she is interested in.

10. Join something with other families. Whether this is within your community or your church, being with other families will strengthen your own family bonds.

Author: Denise Witmer, About.com

Yoga Practice For Teens To Reduce Anxiety And Boost Self-Esteem

2009-02-04T01:30:00.000-08:00

Doing yoga for teens would be a great way to help them in dealing with anxiety and boosting self-esteem. The yoga poses can be effective in relaxation and enhance their physical abilities. Recently, yoga has been introduced to young children and teenagers as a form of therapy and physical exercise. There are a number of yoga websites offering articles, techniques, classes, and testimonials on the benefits of the children that participate.

The teenage years

One of the most important and difficult times in a child's life is the teenage years. In school, it is the period of wanting to "fit in" accompanied with peer pressure. They will usually have lots of homework and if they are into extracurricular activities such as sports, band, or drama, a significant amount of time is required for that. For some, this can be too much of a challenge. Life at home may also have its challenges with parents and siblings.

The question to be asked is, "what activity/activities are available to help teens through difficult situations they may encounter?" For the most part, teens have support from friends, school activities and family. But where do they turn when the support is not readily available to them when they need it most?

Yoga benefits

Doing a low impact style of yoga, such as Iyengar, would be the best way for kids to experience calmness and empowerment. Each pose is performed gently and consciously with much attention given to breathing, expansion, and balance. In this process, it will enable the teen to focus on self that will help release tension, frustration or even anger and transform those energies into a more relaxed state.

The poses are excellent for boosting self-esteem in that it challenges the individual's ability to stay in balance, both in mind and body. Significant results may be attained through each session. Yoga exercises are not easy to do as some individuals may realize but with continued commitment, teens will be taking great strides towards self-fulfillment. With that level of confidence, teens will be able to handle trying situations differently and effectively.

Place of comfort

Yoga is not a cure-all by any means but it is a safe and alternative way for teenagers to find a place of comfort. Finding that place is far more intriguing and beneficial than doing drugs or being caught in unfavorable situations. Yoga is not for everyone but for those who embrace its importance, it will improve their quality of life in the days and years to come.

Where to find yoga classes

Parents, you might be able to find classes in your neighborhood or in your local newspaper. Keep in mind that not all yoga studios will have programs specific to teens. Probably the best avenue to do a search would be online. The age of the world wide web has made accessing information on any topic quick and easy.

From the web you will be able to narrow your search specific to your needs without even leaving your home. Though, if a studio were found, it would be wise to visit and observe the practice. Take the time to get as much information that you will need from the class instructor to insure it will be a match for your child.

About the author:

Thaddeus W Johnson is a writer who enjoys providing online shoppers with valuable information for purchasing and the benefits of shopping online. Discover great savings on products such as yoga t-shirts, affordable clothing and much more.

C 2008 Thaddeus W Johnson

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Low Self-Esteem is Common and Quite Painful For Teens

2009-01-28T07:11:00.000-08:00

Low self-esteem in teens is quite common. If you are a teen who has low self-esteem, you are certainly not alone in your plight. Teenagers struggle with self-esteem issues from early middle school and well into high school and college. If you are finding it hard to feel good about yourself, take solace that your friends are most likely going through the same feelings as you.

You are not alone with your self-esteem issues and it is always important to remember this. A heightened level of self-awareness and self-consciousness is common among teenagers. As teenagers, you are never quite sure if you are smart enough, pretty enough, strong enough, or thin enough.

Being a teenager, you have a lot of concerns and stressors that can contribute to low self-esteem. There are also strong demands placed on you that create competition with others and a strong need to measure up and succeed.

Body image and looks become very important when you are a teenager. You want to look pretty if you are a girl, handsome if you are a guy. You also want to be able to successfully attract members of the opposite sex. This becomes very important when you are a teenager and this can actually become all-encompassing.

It is easy to lose focus on schoolwork, extra-curricular activities, family, and hobbies when you are so concerned whether or not you fit in with your peers.

Sometimes teens get depressed and become quite withdrawn. Some turn to drugs ,alcohol, and unprotected sex to escape feelings of low self-esteem.

Television, movies, and magazines portraying very thin, beautiful people can also give you an unrealistic comparison of what you think you are supposed to look like. When you start comparing yourself to these Hollywood stars it becomes hard to measure up.

Some of the things you can do to improve your self-esteem is:

• Remember that you are unique and adorable and have a lot of great qualities that make you and interesting and special person. Nobody is quite like you.

• Do not forget to do the things you love to do because you truly enjoy these activities. Who cares if it is not cool. If you love studying the piano, do not give this up because your friends do not play the piano.

• Take care of your grooming and hygiene on a daily basis and always put your best foot forward. You will feel so much better.

• Choose your friends wisely, and do not associate with people who put you down and make you feel bad.

• Do not, under any circumstances run away from your feelings with drugs, alcohol, sex, and gambling addiction. Please seek help from a caring trusting professional if this happens.

These are just a few tips to help you improve your self-esteem. Building self-esteem is a lifelong process that will take effort, courage, persistence, and determination.

Michelle Tee (author)

To learn more about Michelle Tee and her writing, please visit her blog at http://www.myselfesteem.net.

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The Stages of Childhood Development - The Teen Years

2009-01-19T06:40:00.000-08:00

Childhood is more than how a child grows, it's about the series of stages a child goes through to get to adulthood. Going through childhood is work, a lot of work. Each stage of a child's life has different demands on the child. A new parent may not always be aware of what is considered "normal" during the various stages of their child's life. Below are a few examples of the various stages.

Age Eighteen: This is not the magical time when your child suddenly becomes an adult. Many children have not yet reached adulthood emotionally by 18. They are still struggling with who they are and what their purpose is. Your child will experience social strains at this point. Graduating from high school, leaving the safety of their home to explore college or living on their own. They may also find that their high school friends will go off into different directions, leaving them behind. Without those friendships they may feel temporarily lost. Again, this is all apart of the growing up stage. Try and be as supportive as you can. Realize that your child needs to go through this stage to mature into an adult. Guide them when possible. Do not be too critical of what they choose to do with their lives.

Ages Twelve & Thirteen: This is often a time in your child's life when they are going through many physical changes. They may gain weight, grow taller, feel clumsy and awkward. Because their body is going through a lot of physical changes it can be a difficult time for your child. Answer any questions your child may have. Do not feel embarrassed if they ask something that you're not sure of how to answer. Or maybe you don't know the answer. Children can often be very sensitive about how they look at this stage of their life. Be a supportive parent. If you are uncomfortable with answering questions, talk with your pediatrician (or let your child talk with them).

Ages Fourteen & Fifteen: This is the age when your child may have growth spurts. They can cause physical discomfort; such as headaches and joint pain. If your child complains too much of discomfort consult with your pediatrician. Sometimes there may be other reasons for the discomfort. This is also the time when their hormones will kick in. Try and make your child comfortable with what is happening to them. They may not always want to discuss the strange feelings and sensations they are having. Mostly because they don't understand them. Talking with your child about their changing body is the best way to put them at ease. There are some great books available on the teenage body. These books will cover all the physical changes and the emotional changes your child is experiencing. I would suggest you read the books first and decide which ones will best answer the questions your child may have.

Ages Sixteen & Seventeen: By the time your child reaches this stage in their life, they will begin thinking about what they want to do when they leave high school. At least many of them will. They might want to get a car (to establish more independence) or even a job. Some will wonder about college. This is often a difficult time for your teenager because they are not sure that they want to become and adult. Many teenagers will suddenly fear leaving home and becoming independent. Some will think themselves invincible. This is a time of jumbled feelings. Try to keep your teenager on the right track. Keep an open line of communication with them. This can be a time when your teenager experiences a fun and positive side of growing up or a negative and unsafe time. Too many young people get involved with reckless behavior at this time in their lives. Be aware of what your child is up to, who their friends are, and where they spend their spare time.

Wendy Greif is a mother and graduate of USF in Special Education. She has taught children with various disabilities in both South Carolina and Florida. Mrs. Greif operates an informational website for parents and caregivers of children and/or adults with special needs ( http://www.specialneedschildrenandadults.com ).

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Teen Self Image

2009-01-09T02:23:00.000-08:00

Issues with teen self image also known as body image, which is the way they internally picture themselves, can be a major ordeal particularly during adolescence. Teens and tweens are bombarded by the media leaving them with an unrealistic view of the perfect body. Sometimes this causes them to under appreciate their own abilities and interests. During adolescence their bodies are going through hormonal changes which they have no control over. As they become so preoccupied with their teen self image they, in some cases, develop an eating disorder and have little regard for their developmental health.

Teens have a picture in their minds of what the perfect body is and they try to measure up to that image. If they are are happy with their body shape they generally have a positive teen self image. On the other hand, if they don't measure up - their teen self image becomes more of a psychological issue. The way teens see themselves and the way they believe that others see them is an emotional reaction. In other words, they change their ideas of their own bodies according to their emotional well being and that of others around them. Adolescent girls are more susceptible to having poor teen self image and developing an eating disorder. They tend to be more focused on appearance giving the impression of self worth. When in reality their teen self image is low and this leads to poor self esteem and the potential for psychological or eating disorders.

Body image is a modern day issue that has slowly developed over the years. There was a time when being thin was a sign of being poverty stricken and of poor health. Clothing has changed the way teens look at themselves. As the newest fashion comes out they want to look good in the newest styles. Along with the change in fashion is our teens lifestyles. Adolescent girls are dating at younger ages than before leading to problems with their teen self image. Magazines, television, and Hollywood have fueled the desire to be more body conscious.

By: James Rouse

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James Rouse is a personal weight loss coach and author of the popular www.helpcurechildobesity.com – a website created out of his passion. Possibly you have a passion or hobby you'd like to write about. Discover how to turn it into a profitable Web site like James has. Visit: www.helpcurechildobesity.com/how-i-did-this- bx2 to learn more.

Building Confidence - Talent By Hutch Peter

2009-01-07T01:46:00.000-08:00

Having a low self-esteem has a profound effect on your daily life, and a lot of people don't even realize that they are lacking in the esteem department. Practically every situation in your life has something to do with your self-confidence. Meeting and handling people, driving, starting a new hobby, reaching for a promotion at work. It may seem like you need certain skills and you feel like you are unqualified - and that's exactly right. Your lack of confidence is directly related to your lack of skill.

I'll start by creating an imaginary person that doesn't like to go out. He is anything but shy around his close friends, but quiet and reserved in public and new people. He rarely makes eye-contact. I couldn't tell you why he's that way. Maybe he was shamed as a child when he tried to meet strange people. Perhaps he was in a fist fight and was humiliated and didn't know what to do. Maybe he was poor, and was laughed at about his "choice" of clothing. Who knows? But the fact is, he doesn't like to go out much, and it's probably because he lacks confidence at times where he doesn't know the outcome of the situation. He plays the game of life safely, and is overly precautious about protecting himself from perceived harm.

www.articledashboard.com/Article/Building-Confidence---Talent/645658

Building Self Esteem in a Teenager

2009-01-05T01:00:00.000-08:00

When babies are born, everyone starts on equal footing. The events that happen years later will determine if someone is smart or just average. This will all depend on the child's upbringing until one becomes a teenager.

At that age, the individual will be able to think for him or herself without that much assistance anymore when one was still an infant.

Nevertheless, the process of building self esteem still continues at this age. This is because there is still much to learn and there will be other challenges that the person will experience before one can ever be called a man.

One way teens can build self esteem is by taking certain risks. The student can try out for the varsity team or take up an art or music class for the summer to find out if one is musically inclined or not.

There is a saying that goes, " you can't keep a good man down. " Life has it up and down moments so teens should seize the day and rejoice in the success while not dwelling on mistakes. The person should simply think that this is just one of life's lessons and should try a little harder in the future.

Since some find it hard to handle rejection, this is the time that parents must come in to act as a shoulder to cry on and offer words of wisdom. Rather than making the teen afraid of it, the guardians should encourage the person to do it again because the outcome may be a little different.

Self esteem is not just for the individual. This is for everyone. The teen can share this with others by being happy when others are also successful. Those who need a little push will surely appreciate the help one can give to make the classmates dream come true.

Another part of building self esteem as a teenager is by noticing the strengths and weaknesses one has. Those who are successful in one endeavor can help others excel in the field.

By being aware of what other people have, the individual can also become more confident by learning something from others which is all part of the improvement process.

One of the most difficult things to do especially as a teenager is being able to look at the bright side despite the problem that is at hand. Some adults can't also do this but with constant practice, the individual will be able to have a positive outlook in life that can be seen through words and actions.

It takes time to build the teens self esteem. Parents start the moment the infant is born by showing signs love and affection that will soon later involve empowerment. This continues as long as mom and dad are still living.

Teachers and friends on the one end will also do the same thing by giving positive feedback that will occur when excellence in certain skills are shown.

People have to believe in oneself in order to succeed. This is the only way that a person can get a high paying job and be able to live a life of luxury. Being confident won’t happen overnight but those who feel man enough should face the challenges head on and become someone better after everything that has happened.

Peter Dobler is a veteran in the IT business. His passion for experimenting with new internet marketing strategies leads him to explore new niche markets. Read more about his experience with building self esteem; visit http://building-self-esteem.tip4u2.com

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Teen Self Esteem: How Parents Can Help

2009-01-03T01:00:00.000-08:00

How many teenagers do you meet that really have a strong sense of self esteem? Not many if you tell the truth. It's a treat to find a fifteen year old who knows and likes who they are.

Healthy teen self esteem is first nurtured at home. A secure home life, supportive parents and a reliable extended family provide the launching point that allows children to thrive. From there it's a safe school environment and positive peer relationships that further affirm their feelings of being valuable to others.

If a teens home life offers more negative feedback than positive nurturing, it is nearly impossible for that child to come through puberty feeling good about themselves.

Teenagers who don't have a strong sense of personal value from their parents are left viewing themselves through the critical eyes of their peers. And what they see there is often disappointing.

Making embarrassing mistakes, feeling clumsy, going through puppy love heart break or not doing everything right the first time you try is all part of being a teenager. But a teen with low self esteem takes every stumble personally and internalizes the failure as being part of who they are.

This is why it is so important to help our kids survive their mistakes and deal with disappointments from an early age. Positive teen self esteem is crucial. The best way to improve your teen's self-esteem is to take a very active role in your teen's life. Just by knowing your teen's interests, friends, strengths, and weaknesses, you will be aware of any problems that may arise.

If you have a teenager who is struggling with low self esteem, you have to take every opportunity that presents itself to remind them that they are valuable to you and to others. Provide them with opportunities to be with people who will build them up and encourage them.

Aurelia Williams is the host of Parenting My Teen Podcast and is also the owner of Real Life Solutions, a free resource site for moms.

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