Improvement Yourself By Reading Articles http://www.self-improvement-article.com Self improvement effectiveness from useful articles. Fri, 12 Mar 2010 07:07:30 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7.1 en hourly 1 selfimprovementarticlehttp://feedburner.google.com Coping with an Addiction http://www.self-improvement-article.com/coping-with-an-addiction.html http://www.self-improvement-article.com/coping-with-an-addiction.html#comments Fri, 12 Mar 2010 07:07:30 +0000 Jack Wellte http://localhost/wpready/?p=14749
It is most important to stay motivated during the process of recovery. It helps to make a list of benefits, or advantages of quitting the addictive behavior. These should be benefits that are very valuable to you – valuable enough to turn your back on the addiction. Setbacks will occur and should be viewed as opportunities to learn.

Coping with the intense urges and cravings is perhaps the greatest challenge for most individuals. In the case of substance abuse in particular, the drug radically alters the brain by literally taking control of certain neuro chemicals. It is important to understand the temporary nature of the urges. During withdrawal, the time that the urge lasts seems endless and unbearable. It helps to actually clock the duration of an urge and see for oneself that it does end. Recovering addicts have reported that urges initially reach a climax in frequency, intensity and duration, but gradually lose their strength and fizzle out.

Some specific techniques for coping with urges are as follows:
· Attempt to stand apart from it for a moment and witness it as an outsider, with detachment.
· Recall your list of ‘benefits of quitting’
· Go back to the task you were performing
· Consider the negative fallouts of succumbing to the urge
· Completely focus your energies on any other thought or activity
· Deprive the urge of your attention. You will find that it tends to disappear gradually.

In a nutshell, all urges go away eventually and should be viewed in perspective rather than blown out of proportion. With practice and perseverance it becomes progressively easier to do this.

Most recovering addicts are faced with the question of how to cope with the problems that were previously being coped with by the addiction. In fact, the origin of an addiction is often a problem or discomfort (emotional or physical) being faced by the individual. He sees no solution to the problem and the addictive activity seems to help in coping more than adequately. Sometimes these very problems may be bigger than the addiction itself.

The problems that have appeared as a result of the addiction may not end simply by stopping the addiction. They also may require psychotherapy in order to be dealt with effectively.

Finally, the best defense against falling prey to the addiction once again is to change one’s lifestyle in a positive manner. Good habits that provide a feeling of well being should be consciously inculcated. This will reaffirm the conviction that addiction is not necessary to feel good about oneself.

Jack Smith writes about various topics. This article is free to re-print as long as nothing is changed, all links remained intact, the bio remains in full and the rel=”nofollow” tag is not added to any of the links. Thank-you - Please visit drug-free.info/sitemap.htm substance abuse and drug-free.info drug-free.info

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]]> http://www.self-improvement-article.com/coping-with-an-addiction.html/feed Addiction Treatment Australia http://www.self-improvement-article.com/addiction-treatment-australia.html http://www.self-improvement-article.com/addiction-treatment-australia.html#comments Fri, 12 Mar 2010 01:07:30 +0000 Jack Wellte http://localhost/wpready/?p=14747 At one time or another, most of us feel some degree of emptiness, loneliness, inadequacy, idealism, or spiritual longing. We recognise the discontent, the desire to escape pain, and the tendency to seek answers in activities, substances, or relationships. This sense of restlessness and the spiritual longing is familiar to many of us. Over the many years of treating addiction and co-dependency I have heard many people talk about a non-specific hunger for something that seems to be missing in their lives. They describe a gnawing emptiness within that is never filled. This insistent stirring from within is so intense that it can, at times, be painful. It seems to originate at one’s very core, and for some of us, it feels even stronger than our sexual drive or our hunger for food.

I was aware of it as a child, and I tried somehow to fill it by spending hours and hours playing pinball machines and snooker, watching television and listening to music on my transistor radio, or participating in sports. I struggled with it as a teenager, I felt it as a young adult when I looked at a particularly magnificent painting, read an eloquent poem, or watched an exquisite dance. And it manifested during a multitude of other restive moments. The pit of my stomach felt empty, my heart hurt, and my entire being aspired toward something I could not identify. As I grew, the ache in my soul increasingly permeated all aspects of my life. I felt monumentally homesick for something undefined, for an unnamed entity, place, or experience. Nothing I did seemed to alleviate the yearning within me.

There are, I am sure, some fortunate people who feel this longing but do not act upon it in painful ways. However, many people identify the spiritual yearning as a persistent voice in their lives, one they often confuse with their everyday aspirations. At first, they identify it as the desire to excel on the playing field, to develop their intellect, to get into the right university, or to meet the man or woman of their dreams. Perhaps they feel an overwhelming craving for a certain model of car, for a new outfit, or for sexual contact.

This fundamental appetite might manifest in the abuse of food, alcohol, nicotine, or other drugs. Some people feel a general dissatisfaction in their marriage and find themselves longing for something more: a new house, a baby, a significant change in their partner’s behaviour, or a completely different relationship. They feel discontented, as though something is lacking. Perhaps more money would bring happiness, or a better social position, or a new job.

I loved my wife and kids, was satisfied with my business, and felt reasonably good about my accomplishments. But something was missing. I found myself thinking about moving to another state or country and even trying another line of business. I soon began to gamble too much, as well as abuse various mood altering drugs. After a while, I realized that none of those things would help my feelings of emptiness, and in fact, they had begun to cause more problems than they would solve. I felt stuck.”

The irony is, no external activities or substances satisfy the initial craving or the feelings of emptiness. Many people attain the object of their desire, and the incessant ache remains. One person may win the lotto or player-of-the-year award for football, another earn an advanced degree from a prestigious university. Someone else might capture the heart of a perfect mate, make enough money, and live in the style he or she has always wished for. Yet, even in the midst of the bounty that is meant to bring satisfaction and fulfilment, the yearning persists, perhaps even magnified by the achievements, which only remind us of the emptiness within. Many recovering addicts and alcoholics report that once the physical craving for the drug or behaviour is eliminated, a deeper craving still remains.

As a culture, we do not have many sanctioned frame-works in which to deeply experience and satisfy the yearning for wholeness. As a result, people of all ages distort and misdirect this immensely strong impulse into addictions of all kinds, and co-dependency, not only addictions involving the use of chemicals (alcohol & drugs), but also eating disorders, sexual and love addictions, and addictions to power, money, relationships, gambling, and countless other addictive activities.

What is this free-floating yearning? I believe that Jung was right. This intense and at times painful craving is deep thirst for our own wholeness, our spiritual identity, our divine source, or God.

This place of wholeness we seek is our spiritual core, an essential component of our nature. Development of a relationship with this inner source is a common, and necessary, aspect of human existence. I believe that this thirst for wholeness is the main driving force in the ever increasing rates of addiction in our society. Unless this factor is addressed in recovery and addiction treatment, the individual is always going to remain at high risk of relapse or in danger of switching addictions. Simply stopping our addictive behaviours or replacing them with legal substitute drugs is not enough and doesn’t work.

Robert Mittiga
Program Director
GATS Counselling & Treatment Services
P.O. Box 6411 Halifax Street SA 5000
Ph 0400 801 557 (7days)
Website www.gatscounselling.com

Robert Mittiga is an Addiction / Codependency Specialist and The Program Director of GATS Counselling & Treatment Services in Australia. A cutting edge wholistic addiction treatment program/rehab.

Primary care at GATS….
Is personalized to treat each individual using programs that integrate MIND, BODY and SOUL. GATS’ programs are enhanced by highly effective group therapy processes as well as individual therapy and extensive aftercare assistance.

ALL clients are thoroughly assessed by a highly trained and experienced GATS therapist as well as the GATS medical officer. Clients may also be referred to psychiatric assessment if needed.

GATS’ programs combine several effective therapeutic approaches including psychodynamic, experiential, grief & loss, trauma, family of origin and shame reduction work. GATS programs also include spiritual components in the overall treatment process.

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]]> http://www.self-improvement-article.com/addiction-treatment-australia.html/feed To Make a Change — Take a Chance http://www.self-improvement-article.com/to-make-a-change-take-a-chance.html http://www.self-improvement-article.com/to-make-a-change-take-a-chance.html#comments Thu, 11 Mar 2010 19:07:30 +0000 Jack Wellte http://localhost/wpready/?p=14745 Life is really all about CHANGE. In order to make a CHANGE, you have to be willing to take a CHANCE. To take a chance is to risk. So let’s spend a few minutes investigating RISK. We’ll examine these characteristics and contingencies:

· what risk is;

· what it does;

· how to recognize what risks are necessary - or not - in a specific situation;

· how to assess the degree of risk you need to take; and…

· how to take risks.

First, what is RISK? Simply put, risk is:

- a response to the unknown, taken in order to produce discovery and yield a gain…or

- a reaction to pain in the present, taken in order to escape the unpleasant present or future consequences of that pain, to prevent a loss.
We like to think that the most intelligent approach to risk is to attempt to make every risk a calculated response rather than a reaction…even when pain and possible loss are the motivators.

This isn’t easy. It requires a high degree of objectivity, even when a current situation is at the crisis level. And part of the answer is to slow down, to step back, to look at the situation as though someone else were experiencing it, then objectively calculate the nature and degree of risk you’ll have to take to solve the immediate problem.

A hint: look also at the longer-term consequences of current risks.
For example, to risk leaving a job for another that pays more money could have good short term outcomes, but if the job you move into involves working with people you can’t stand, or affiliating with a company that may go out of business in a year or two, then today’s risk may not be worthwhile.

There’s a caution here, as well. Risk is often exciting. Some people like excitement, and these are people who occasionally take risks just for the thrill of it. Be careful. Before you attempt a risk, even after you’ve thought it through thoroughly, go inside yourself and get a sense of how you feel about it. If your head tells you it’s silly but your gut insists that you try it, STOP. Think it through one more time. You may save yourself expense, embarrassment, the loss of a friend or a job…make risk a tool, not a recreational activity!

Wisely used, risking is a vital key to enhancing your personal power. We’ll talk more about this later, but for now, let’s take a brief look at a concept that may assist you in determining whether a risk is advisable.
Take out a clean piece of paper. Draw a fairly large square…now divide it into four equal quadrants. We’re going to put labels into each quadrant and some indicators outside of the square itself. The purpose of this is to give you a matrix to work with when you begin thinking about taking risks in any particular life situation.

The upper left quadrant of the square is the position of greatest power — MASTERY.

Write that label in the upper left quadrant. Mastery involves taking action on things you can control.

At the upper right is STRIVING. Label that quadrant now. Striving is what people often do when they encounter a situation they can’t control — but believe they can! This is a reactive position that simply can’t result in a feeling of completion or accomplishment. It seems to go on forever.
Note that both of these upper quadrants involve action. So, to the left of the big square, opposite the upper two quadrants, write the word ACTION. But notice that the actions are of opposite polarity. In the MASTERY position you’re in control. It’s a positive position. So put a “plus” sign in the MASTERY quadrant. In the STRIVING quadrant you’re not in control. So put a MINUS SIGN in the STRIVING quadrant.

The lower quadrants are also critical to personal power and self esteem, and they, too, have “charges” on them. Both are no action positions. To the left of these quadrants write the label NO ACTION. The lower-left quadrant is called GIVING UP. This is what some people do even when they are actually in control. It’s a victim position. Clinical psychologists and medical researchers have noticed that people who behave in this quadrant often develop the physical symptoms of stress — arthritis, back pain, even cancer. The perceived “payoff” in this quadrant is, of course, that you’re rid of the problem because you’ve succumbed to it. The consequences are out of your control, making this a very negative position. Put a MINUS SIGN in this quadrant, because whenever you give up, you give away some self-esteem and make it harder to take risk the next time.

The lower right quadrant should be labeled LETTING GO. This position, taken when you don’t have control over the circumstances you’re in, results in a feeling of relief. In essence, you’ve released the source of stress — that which you can’t control. Observers of people in this position note that quite often the letting go results in a creative spurt that suggests alternative solutions to that particular problem. So here’s the great paradox: even when you don’t have control and don’t take any action, you may effect positive change. Letting go opens the door to creativity, and it’s risk-free. So put a PLUS SIGN in this quadrant.

Because the two boxes on the left are “control” positions, put that word – CONTROL – beneath the left half of the square. Under the other half, print the words “NO CONTROL.”

Now the matrix is complete, and with this structure in mind we can do a little analysis of appropriate risk taking.

The first caveat is that risk taking should be reserved for situations where you have some control. Taking risks in “no control” situations is likely to be a waste of time and energy. Thus, noticing what we said before, that you always have control over yourself — and NEVER over anyone else or their actions — could there be some legitimate criteria for risk taking? We think so.

I like to simplify — or at least organize — topics so you can easily remember them. So here are the A-B-C rules for risk, as I’ve experienced them over the years.

- “A” is ASSESSMENT. It’s the process of coming to recognize the need, taking time to move away from it emotionally so you can calculate or estimate the risk-reward ratio, and confronting the fear that inevitably accompanies the need to risk. This is the first step in reducing the overwhelming idea of risk to a size you can handle. This is the “getting ready” process.

- “B” stands for a BEGINNING. Most of us, when we face the need to risk, have the most trouble when it comes to taking that first step, the first action that will set the change process into motion. If you’ve assessed the risk adequately, you’ll know several things. First, you’ll be aware of the possible plusses and minuses of the outcome. Second, you will have had at least a moment of objectivity. But it may still be difficult to get going. Yet, the idea is just that — to GET GOING. So ACT — but act with the knowledge that you’ll reach a point of no return, a moment at which you can no longer go back to square one. The trick here is to know that point and to apply all the pressure – all the commitment to change – that you need to move through it and on to the “C” of risk taking…

- “C” is CONCLUSION - which implies COMPLETION, and the end of any risk taking is a moment at which some old idea or belief has to be abandoned, because the situation is new. The final key is to be willing to let go of that old idea, form a new one, and to use it enough so that it becomes a belief. This is, indeed, life change in the real world.

In summary, change is something you can’t accomplish without risk. Risk is something you can’t take without some fear. And fear is FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL, so — just maybe — this little ABC exercise can help you to handle risk a little bit easier the next time it comes up for you.
Next and finally, here are five criteria for risk-taking. If you observe all of these, you should be able to develop a plan that entails the least possible risk and creates an environment most likely to produce a favorable longer-term outcome.

- First, have a goal. You need an endpoint from which to work backward as you figure out what risks are or might be appropriate to assist you in getting where you want to go. Any other risk would be pointless, because there’d be no way to ensure or predict the outcome except in terms of some sort of “excitement” you’d get from taking it. That’s sort of like playing “Chicken” in a car or passing another car on a blind curve, “just for the fun of it.”

- Second, ask questions — lots of questions. At the end of this article is a questionnaire. Go to it now and complete it using real-life situations you’re facing. When you’re done, you’ll probably have a much clearer idea of what you should or should not risk.

- Third, get a handle on what you stand to lose before you undertake any risk of consequence. This is very important. Often we evaluate risk only from the point of view of what we have to gain from it. Our fears keep us from addressing realistically the potential for loss. Don’t jump before looking down to see how high above the ground you are.

- Fourth, risk in stages — in increments — usually taking the smallest risks first. It’s amazing, but life seems to work this way. You take a little risk, it works, then you’re better prepared to take bigger risks. It’s also saner. Keep doing this small-scale risk expansion over and over, as often as necessary in your particular circumstance. Soon you’ll be in this position. You’ll be ready to take the final leap, to accomplish your mission and reach your goal — and you’ll feel a near CERTAINTY about success, because you will have built a ladder of success in the smaller risk taking. Result…? Bingo. You’ve done it. Just in case you think this is a crock, I want to assure you that I do it in my life every day. It’s the fundamental reason you’re reading this right now. When the idea for this seminar first took shape, not only didn’t I think I could do it, virtually nobody else did, either. I didn’t have a lot of encouragement, except from a couple of good friends and from my daughters, who had watched me take incremental risks for years. They KNEW I could do it, even when I didn’t. And today, here we are.

- Fifth and finally, take your own risks. Don’t expect that others will risk for you — and don’t let them do it. There are several reasons for this. First is that if someone else takes the risk, you’ll never experience the full value of the reward if the risk is successful. Second is that if the risk doesn’t pan out, you may lose a friend or develop one heavy resentment. In either situation — win or lose –you will have abdicated your own responsibility and compromised your own integrity and authenticity. Keep your risks at home. It’s safer, easier and much less risky in terms other than the risk itself — terms such as anger, friendship and other relationships.

RISK - ASKING QUESTIONS

Before taking any risk — and during each stage of the risk-taking — ask yourself as many questions as you can think of about the situation, about your next step, about your short- and long-term goals and about yourself. The more questions you ask and answer, the greater the chance you’ll discover whether or not the risk should be taken and the less the chance that the risk, if you do take it, will fail. Here are a few questions that might apply to your risking situation. Pick a specific situation you’re in now or might be in soon, then answer the questions below that relate to that situation.

SOME GENERAL QUESTIONS ABOUT GENERAL RISKS

- Is this a necessary risk? What makes it so?

- Can I reach my goal without taking this risk?

- Is the potential gain greater than the potential loss?

- What can I lose by taking this risk? How will I know I am losing this?

- What can I do to prevent these losses from occurring?

- What do I need to know before risking in this way? Why don’t I know it already? Who can tell me?

- What would be the right time to act? Will that time ever come?

- What would be the worst time to act? Is that time at hand?

- Who wants me to succeed at this risk? Who might profit from my failure?

- What part should I let each of these kinds of people (friends/enemies) play in my life and in this risk?

- When I risk like this, what feeling am I trying to express?

- Will people think better or worse of me if I succeed? Will this matter to me?

- Do I want people to think about me in certain ways? How will this risk affect this?

- Whose attention would I like to get?

- Why can’t I just talk to them and tell them?

- Am I ever a little bit irrational? Is this one of those times? How do I know? What can I do about it?

- Am I afraid? Of what? If not, why not?

- Will I ever be “ready” to act?

- What’s holding me back?

- When will I have risked more than I can afford to lose?

- Make a list of all the significant people in your life, place them in priority order (highest to lowest) then ask yourself about each: How might I hurt this person in taking this risk? Would that matter in our relationship?

- Is anyone pressuring me to take this risk?

- What would make me change my mind about taking this risk?

- Am I doing this to please someone else? Have I told this person I feel this way?

- Have I ever contemplated or taken this risk or one like it before?

- Could I have taken it more safely the last time? If I didn’t take it then, why did I postpone it?

- If this risk doesn’t work out, when should I give it up?

- Will this risk really make me happy if it works? How do I know? What else might make me happy? How do I know?

- What has been the impact on me of all the questions I’ve asked so far?

- What would happen if, even with all I know, I didn’t risk now?

Copyright 2002, 2005 Optimum Performance Associates/Paul McNeese.

Paul McNeese is CEO of Optimum Performance Associates, a consulting firm
specializing in transitional and transformational change for individuals
and institutions through publication. His publishing company,
OPA Publishing, is an advocacy for self-publishing authors of
informational, instructional, inspirational and insightful nonfiction.

Email: mailto:pmcneese@opapublishing.com pmcneese@opapublishing.com
Websites: opapublishing.com opapublishing.com and opapresents.com opapresents.com

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]]> http://www.self-improvement-article.com/to-make-a-change-take-a-chance.html/feed Can Setting Daily Goals Really Help You In Overcoming Procrastination? http://www.self-improvement-article.com/can-setting-daily-goals-really-help-you-in-overcoming-procrastination.html http://www.self-improvement-article.com/can-setting-daily-goals-really-help-you-in-overcoming-procrastination.html#comments Thu, 11 Mar 2010 13:07:30 +0000 Jack Wellte http://localhost/wpready/?p=14743 Now I don’t know if you are someone into goal setting. Some successful people whom I know are not a strong advocate of goal setting, however they still manage to achieve their goals.

Therefore it is definitely true that goal setting works for some and not for others. After all, we are all unique individuals, aren’t we? :)

Now even though there are some debates about the usefulness of goal setting, I personally find that goal setting has been particularly useful in me overcoming procrastination.

To me, goal setting has helped me developed the good habit of getting the necessary things done

Well, as I have mentioned earlier, goal setting may or may not be for you and whether that habit helps you or not is still unknown until you try it out for yourself.

For me, when I set my daily goals, I am actually preying on my own guilt. Personally, if I found myself unable to accomplish the goals that I had set for myself that day, I would feel bad and guilty about it.

Therefore in a sense, setting daily goals does play a part in helping me to overcome procrastination.

Another reason why I think setting daily goals can save you from procrastination is that when you are in the process of setting your goal, you are also formulating in your mind how you want your task to end up.

So in a way, you are very well changing your focus on the prize rather than on the difficulties or obstacles. And believe me; this change of attitude does play a very big part in you winning the war against procrastination.

And to forget, as you learn how to set and achieve your goals, your self esteem, self confidence and self worth will shoot up rapidly, freeing you from the vicious cycle of constantly having to procrastinate.

Now in addition to setting daily goals, weekly and monthly goals have proven to help many people too.

To me, these daily, weekly and monthly goals can be considered as your “checkpoints” along your journey to accomplishing your project.

Now which goal do you think is more achievable and easier to attain? To earn a $1,00,000 in the next 12 months or to earn $1000 in the next 1 month?

Well, the answer is pretty obvious, isn’t it?

By learning how to breakdown your ultimate goal into smaller ones, it will help you to better focus on your short term goal and prevent you from feeling overwhelmed by too early in the race.

Also, remember to give yourself a pat on your back when you achieve your goals. If possible, reward yourself. Your reward can be an ice-cream or a good dinner or just an early, good night rest.

Self motivation is the best motivation, right? ;)

By constantly rewarding yourself for achieving your goals, you will gain more satisfaction from your work.

And not to forget, momentum is what you are looking for too.

Finally, here are some small tricks which I have been using all these while to help me defeat procrastination. Take a look at them and try them out. They can do wonders at times. ;)

Use your time well. Remember, everyday you only have 24 golden nuggets. Whether you like it or not, these 24 golden nuggets will be spent and never to be retrieved back again. Learning time management can be another very good weapon in overcoming procrastination.

Reduce your external disturbance. Turn off your phone or place a “Don’t Disturb” sign outside your workplace or your office. Inform others that you do not wish to be disturbed within this time frame. Set aside some ways they can leave you some messages within this personal time of yours.

When things can go wrong, it will go wrong. Always set aside some time for some unexpected events or contingencies.

Try to come out with a plan on how you want to tackle those tasks at hand. It will be good to work with those who have done this before and ask for their opinions on how to accomplish them and work with them to come out with a good estimation as when you can complete them.

Make it a commitment to accomplish your daily goals. Do not set them for the sake of doing it. Set them with the mentally that you truly want to complete them.

=-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==

Zach Kong is a web entrepreneur, a self mastery trainer and adviser. He has written several articles on self improvement his websites has provided people with valuable tools and advice on topic like on self mastery and self development.

Visit his website @ CashFormer.com www.CashFormer.com to claim your free ebook now.

For more information and advice, visit his community @ zachkong.com www.ZachKong.com

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]]> http://www.self-improvement-article.com/can-setting-daily-goals-really-help-you-in-overcoming-procrastination.html/feed A Testimony of an Ex-Mormon http://www.self-improvement-article.com/a-testimony-of-an-exmormon.html http://www.self-improvement-article.com/a-testimony-of-an-exmormon.html#comments Thu, 11 Mar 2010 07:07:30 +0000 Jack Wellte http://localhost/wpready/?p=14741 Mormons like to give testimonies. Unlike Mormon testimonies, I will seek to show that the testimony of my conversion to Christianity is based upon the teaching of Scripture. There are many that claim to have had spiritual experiences. It is seen under close scrutiny that these experiences have actually affected how certain individuals interpret Scripture. Scriptures are often reinterpreted in light of the experience. This approach is fraught with dangerous pitfalls. II Corinthians 11:13-15 warns us of false workers who transform themselves into ministers of Christ. In Matthew 7:22,23 we find that there are those who have even worked miracles, but in the end Christ says, “I never knew you.”

Even miracle workers may be enemies of Christ. We are to be on guard against false ministers and apostles. All organizations, whether secular or religious, offer testimonials. How are testimonials evaluated? Are there false testimonies? If Christ’s Spirit is really working in someone’s life, what will be the nature of the testimony? Many people do not grasp the potential for self-deception. Not only may we deceive ourselves, the apostle John tells us: “Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God…” I John 4:1. False spirits may deceive us.

The apostle tells us the nature of a true testimony in his gospel: “Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come…he shall not speak of himself.. .He shall glorify me” John 16:13,14. A true testimony must glorify Jesus Christ. Glory given to another makes for an invalid testimony.
It is readily seen that Mormon testimonies concerning Joseph Smith (Mormon founder) do not qualify as being inspired by the Holy Spirit. Why? Mormon testimonies consistently exalt Joseph Smith or the supposed truthfulness of the Mormon Church. In l Corinthians 15:1-4 the apostle Paul tells us the nature or content of a true testimony: “Moreover, brethren, I declare unto you the gospel which I preached unto you, which also ye have received, and wherein ye stand. By which also ye are saved, if ye keep in memory what I preached unto you, unless ye have believed in vain. For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures.” In this testimony I refer to several passages of Scripture that are relevant to Christ’s resurrection, the work of the Holy Spirit in exalting Christ, man’s condition, and how men are saved.

Do Mormons refer to these passages and the teachings contained therein when sharing their testimony? When Mormons give testimony to their faith in Christ, it is always supplemented by their larger testimony that Joseph Smith is a prophet and the Mormon Church is the only true church. The apex of Mormon testimonies goes beyond Christ to another, namely Joseph Smith.

My testimony can go no further than scripture. I confess by the grace of God the truth of what the apostle Paul teaches in l Corinthians 15:1-4. In another place he declares the following concerning man’s condition: “As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one…that every mouth may be stopped, and all the world may become guilty before God” Romans 3:10,19. This was my condition. Paul goes on to say: “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord” Romans 6:23. I had earned the wages of death. God in his mercy gave me the gift of eternal life. The only thing that I earned and deserved was death. Eternal life came as a gift. One thing I am certain of and that is this: there was and is absolutely nothing in me that caused God to give me this gift. Jesus Christ gets all the glory and praise. I attempt to do as the writer of Hebrews sets forth: “Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith” Hebrews 12:2. I look to Jesus by giving him the glory. God gave me the gift of faith. I am saved by grace and even my faith is a gift. Ephesians 2:8 says: “and that not of yourselves.” What is not of yourselves? Faith! Did I choose Christ and exercise faith? Yes, but why? Who gets the glory? Christ? Or me? Why did I choose to believe? Ephesians 1: 4,5 supplies us the answer. “According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love: Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will.”

Was this salvation in my hands to choose or reject? If this were the case, then could I not glory in and of myself? How can that be so? Because I would have done something others had not done. The following verse tells us that the predestination is: “according to the good pleasure of his will.” “So then it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that showeth mercy” Romans 9:16.

The doctrine of predestination more than any other teaching of scripture takes salvation out of man’s hands and places it in God’s control. Men do not like God’s control. The cause of God’s choosing or predestination is found in Him. If we insist that we played a part in God’s choice, then human merit is brought into the picture. Salvation then becomes synergistic rather than monergistic. Biblical salvation is monergistic. Christ alone, by his complete and finished work saved me. Within a synergistic scheme, salvation becomes a cooperative effort. My work takes away from the work of Christ. How? I made a contribution. I played a part in my salvation. If I was not willing, then God could not save me. A synergistic scheme of salvation not only steals Christ’s glory, it limits God’s power. God can only do what I allow him to do within this type of system.

Again, I confess by the grace of God that: “Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost” Titus 3:5.

This is the close of my testimony. “To God only wise, be glory through Jesus Christ for ever. Amen.” Romans 16:27. heirs according to the promise” (Gal. 3:28,29).

Copyright © 2001 Jack Kettler

Mr. Kettler is an ordained Presbyterian Elder and the owner of Undergroundnotes.com where his theological, philosophical and political articles can be read. He has worked in corporate America for over 25 years and is now realizing his dreams as a successful home business entrepreneur. Mr. Kettler can be reached through his business site at: internationalhomebusinessonline.com internationalhomebusinessonline.com.

Permission is hereby granted to reprint this article as long as my web site is retained in the biographical information.

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]]> http://www.self-improvement-article.com/a-testimony-of-an-exmormon.html/feed Chasing Our Tails http://www.self-improvement-article.com/chasing-our-tails.html http://www.self-improvement-article.com/chasing-our-tails.html#comments Thu, 11 Mar 2010 01:07:30 +0000 Jack Wellte http://localhost/wpready/?p=14739 Ever feel like you’re doing a whole lot of nothing in particular?

Very busy achieving not much at all?

Going around in circles (professionally, emotionally, socially, financially, physically)?

Make a decision, don’t follow through on it?
Lose weight, put it back on?
Save a bit of money, spend more?
Stand up for yourself, compromise yourself?
Two steps forward, three back?
Get motivated, get unmotivated?

One day you wake up, you’re five years older, doing the same dumb things, making the same mistakes, still got the same issues (and a few more), got $9.70 in the bank, you’re busier than ever and you’re still unfulfilled, directionless and frustrated.
Still chasing your tail.

Other than that… things are great.

They say that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome.

That’s what many of us do.
We know it’s dumb.
But we do it anyway.

And while we intellectually understand the ‘if we want to be different, we need to do different’ concept, too many of us seem to be trapped in this perpetual cycle of frustration.

Tail chasing 101.

Yesterday morning I spoke with a bloke whose life is chaotic to say the least.
Chaotic and unfulfilling.

He works three jobs (two part-time), spends at least two hours a day travelling to and from those jobs, studies part time, has a girlfriend he hardly sees, is overweight, is perpetually starting and stopping weight-loss endeavours and fitness campaigns, constantly beats himself up because of his lack of will-power, doesn’t eat… then eats too much, is frustrated, has got no money in the bank despite his three jobs, is still paying off a debt for a failed business venture and generally…. is one miserable, frustrated puppy.

He’s got fifteen balls in the air… and he can’t even juggle!

As I was chatting with him I began to see how hard he was doing life.
He was driven to get ahead.
But not in a productive, clever, this-is-fun-and-rewarding-kind of way, more in a… ‘kill-yerself-by-the-time-yer-thirty-five’ … kind of way.
More in a… ‘go-like-crazy-until-you- fall-down-from-exhaustion’…. kind of way.

If you looked up the word disorganised, you’d see a picture of him.
He had no (smart) plan.
He had chaos.

It got me to thinking about the amazing ability we all have to chase our tails.

I have gone through moments in my personal journey and with the evolution of my business where I have felt like I was constantly chasing my tail; investing way too much time and energy, for way too little return on my investment.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

(1) We can’t do ten things (well) at the same time (we think we can, we can’t).
When we spread ourselves too thin (time, energy, resources) we tend to do ten things badly rather than a few things well. One of the biggest lessons I have learned in business is the importance of surrounding myself with great people who have the skills, abilities, time and knowledge that I don’t…. and then letting them do what I can’t.
If you don’t have the luxury of helpers (as I haven’t for most of my life) then it is crucial that you prioritise, do some things well and put other things on hold.
Don’t do ten things badly.

(2) It is crucial that we get space, clarity, perspective and distance from our daily grind. It’s impossible to be objective about it… when we’re in it. Sometimes when we’re away from our typical situation is when we’re in the best head-space and make the best (big picture) decisions. Ever noticed how much clarity and perspective you get about your life / career / relationships when you’re on holidays or away from your ‘normal’ situation.

(3) Be still.

And quiet.
Stop the rushing.
Stop the tail chasing.
For a moment… or several moments.
Step out of the chaos and the repetition, even for an hour.
Regularly.
Pray, read, meditate… explore the spiritual you.
Turn off the phone, the TV, the computer (you’ll be okay), the noise and listen.
Listen to that still, small voice.
Stop drowning out the real you with mayhem.
Stop stunting your own growth and development with unproductive, un-rewarding busy-ness.
Find a place where you can turn the switch to ‘off’ and just be.

When I am quiet and still is when I really hear from…. me.

(4) Use a mentor, friend, coach to help you gain perspective amongst the chaos.
And find someone who won’t tell you what you want to hear. Find someone like me who cares.. but is blunt, periodically offensive(!) and honest. Short term pain… for some long term gain. Too many people surround themselves with ‘fans’ who constantly tell them what they want they want to hear.
When you ask for feedback, don’t ask with your fingers in your ears.
In a staff meeting a few years ago I asked my staff how I needed to change to become a better boss.
They told me.
Mmm, there’s a reality check for you.

(5) An oldie but a goodie: work smarter not (necessarily) harder. Some of us have this dumb belief that we need to sweat, grind and suffer our way to the top. Some discomfort is necessary (as we’ve discussed) but hey, making it harder than it needs to be is just silly! For a long time I made my life harder than it needed to be because I didn’t make the best use of my time or skills.
I created additional, unnecessary work and hardship for myself.
Ask yourself these three questions:

a) Am I doing this (whatever this is) the most effective way?
b) What can I do right now to change my situation (or at least start the wheels turning)?
c) How does my attitude (beliefs, perspective) contribute to the cycle of frustration?

(6) As boring and obvious as this piece of advice is… many of us still don’t do it ( I hate sounding like a typical Personal Development type, so forgive me):

Set goals, have to-do lists, create plans, work to a schedule… be structured and organised.. so that your productivity is up and your frustration is down. Most people don’t goal set, plan or manage time effectively (if at all).
Don’t get up tomorrow and do what you did today… just because that’s what you’ve always done.

If you always do what you’ve always done… you’ll always get what you’ve always got!

If you have been a habitual tail-chaser, perhaps today (now even) might be the time to stop.

Craig Harper (B.Ex.Sci.) is an Australian motivational speaker, qualified exercise scientist, author, columnist, radio presenter, and owner of one of the largest personal training centres in the world.

He can be heard weekly on Australian Radio SEN 1116 and GOLD FM and appears on Australian television on Network Ten’s 9AM.

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]]> http://www.self-improvement-article.com/chasing-our-tails.html/feed Throw Your Stars Wisely http://www.self-improvement-article.com/throw-your-stars-wisely.html http://www.self-improvement-article.com/throw-your-stars-wisely.html#comments Wed, 10 Mar 2010 19:07:30 +0000 Jack Wellte http://localhost/wpready/?p=14737 There is a story I would like to share with you because this story has been a great inspiration to me for a number of years. I urge you to remember that everything we do, everything we think, everything we say has an effect on both us and the world around us. Every little thing matters, no matter how small or insignificant we may think it to be. Every little thing matters, and those little things make all the difference in the world. Just as every single bite of a meal changes your body and feeds you, every little step we take in the world and every little act of goodness we do makes a difference. So here is the story.

Once upon a time there was a man who walked along the beach every morning because of how much the ocean and that sand inspired him and lifted his spirits. One day as he was walking along he noticed someone in the distance dancing by the shore. As he drew closer, he realized that the person wasn’t dancing at all, but instead was bending down and picking something up and throwing it into the ocean.

He drew closer and called out, “Good morning to you! What are you doing?”

The young man paused for a moment and replied, “Throwing starfish in the ocean. The sun is up, and the tide is going out, and if I don’t throw them in they’ll die.”

“But surely young man, you must realize that there is miles of beach here and literally thousands of starfish. You can’t hope to make a difference.”

The young man listened politely, then bent down, picked up another starfish and threw it into the ocean past the breaking waves. “I made a difference to that one,” he said.

It’s easy to get caught up in the thinking that this won’t matter or that won’t matter, or that some of the words we use won’t do any harm. It’s easy to not do something because we think it is to small or insignificant to make a difference. You may even find yourself asking “what’s the use,” to many different things. But we need to remember to find our stars, and throw them with everything we have inside of us, no matter how small or unimportant they may seem. Every little thing matters and makes all the difference in the world, and if we remember to throw our stars wisely and well, the world will be truly blessed by the lives that we live. So will all the people we touch along the journey.

Dwayne Gilbert is the founder of wealthylifesecrets.com wealthylifesecrets.com and has been helping people in the area of self-protection
and personal development for 10 years. He has authored some of his own books and currently teaches people self-defense and
personal development strategies and tactics. To get more information on the law of attraction and how to apply it, visit
wealthylifesecrets.com wealthylifesecrets.com

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]]> http://www.self-improvement-article.com/throw-your-stars-wisely.html/feed Want To Control Your Thoughts? http://www.self-improvement-article.com/want-to-control-your-thoughts.html http://www.self-improvement-article.com/want-to-control-your-thoughts.html#comments Wed, 10 Mar 2010 13:07:30 +0000 Jack Wellte http://localhost/wpready/?p=14735 Do you think that your thoughts can rule you? If your answer is YES then you are in the right path. Thoughts play an important role in our life. Our thoughts can be so influencing that we can even heal ailments with just only thoughts. Most of us know this. Also we can make things happen in the way you want them with your thoughts. With your thoughts you can do both good and bad. You may wonder how, just keep reading further.

Thoughts are broadly classified as Positive and Negative thoughts. As the name conveys, positive thoughts are the ones that we will have to give more importance as they do more good than the negative thoughts. There is never a moment a person is not thinking. Most of the time, we are carried away by our thoughts. And most of our thoughts are influenced by people around us.

First of all we must watch our thoughts. Just observe them cautiously. Of course it is difficult the first time. But, you know practice makes a man perfect! You will be able to master this art in no time, if you practice it regularly. Now, after watching them, the next step is to identify them. You can easily find out if it is a Positive or a negative thought. A negative thought is not only those which are bad for us but also the thoughts which will affect others are considered to be negative thoughts. After categorising, our major step will be to control the negative and replace them with the positive thoughts. This is not as easy as we say.

We have to replace the negative thoughts with our positive ones immediately whenever we find them taking control. Longer intervals for this replacement will weaken the positive thoughts and hence the effect will be less. When a negative thought comes and controls? Its origin is from the external forces. Majority of them is from the place and the people. They influence our thoughts and thus affect us. But we need not worry for this because; our thoughts will get influenced only to the extent we allow them. So it’s very easy for us now. We must be strong and must not allow our thoughts to get influenced. For this we need to practice.

For example, if you have failed in any of your attempts to complete an activity and you thoughts are in such a way which makes you feel more depressed then they are negative thoughts. Say if you think ‘Oh I failed! I could not do it! How impotent I am’ all these will add on to your failure and will never allow you to try again and succeed. Instead if you start thinking ‘these are my new experience and learning that will help me in succeeding in the next attempt. I can do it!’ then you will be a winner always!

When we keep reinforcing positive thoughts over the negative ones, we will soon realise that our negative thoughts are gradually getting vanished and we are in control of our thoughts, in turn our emotions. This will surely lead to a happy and peaceful life.

To learn more on thoughts, emotions, dreams do

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]]> http://www.self-improvement-article.com/want-to-control-your-thoughts.html/feed White Sun - The Silence of the Wise http://www.self-improvement-article.com/white-sun-the-silence-of-the-wise.html http://www.self-improvement-article.com/white-sun-the-silence-of-the-wise.html#comments Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:07:30 +0000 Jack Wellte http://localhost/wpready/?p=14733 Although the truth cannot be seen, heard or touched, yet it is the origin of all things and it is beyond time, space and religion. The great ancients who lived in accordance to the truth were men of subtle wisdom and penetrating intelligence. They were so profound that others did not understand them and such people are the founders of the Five Great Religions like Lao Tze, Confucius, Sakyamuni Buddha, Jesus Christ and Prophet Mohammad.

Everything under Heaven has a beginning which can be said as the origin of things. If we know the origin, we can then say there is a mother of all under Heaven and everything is its offspring. By observing with a quiet and still mind, one can perceive the origin of things and in Tao, we say, “Tao is great, Heaven is great, Earth is great, Humanity is great and within the universe are all things and humans are one with the universe and God. There is going and there is coming. Everything returns to nothingness. Man is in harmony with Earth, Earth harmonises with Heaven, Heaven harmonises with Tao and Tao harmonises with what is natural.”

The truth is not something rare and strange. It is not like he can turn into a beauty today and turn into a devil-like creature tomorrow. Then all of a sudden he turns into a ninety-nine year old man. All these are not the truth because the truth is we grow and mature naturally through learning and studying. Don’t expect to become a great person overnight because we need wisdom and it takes time to absorb and get experience through learning. Collect our wisdom slowly then our virtuous nature will be the same as the Light Beings.

How can we save this despairing world? asked my Heavenly Master JiGong. Start with oneself. Then change the most beloved people, our own family members. Correct oneself well; enlighten and transform others. The statement said, “In order to govern the state well, it is necessary to regulate the family first. It is not possible for a man to discipline others when he is not able to discipline himself and his own family.”

It is advised, “As a member of the family, we must treat the other family members with a sincere heart. Sincerity is Tao. We must treat everybody this way. Sincerity between husband and wife; there must be mutual understanding for each other. Between father and son (parents and children), when it calls for strictness, the father should be strict. When it calls for loving-kindness, the father must advise the son with kindly words. Then only, people would not find themselves living in a battlefield and dwelling in hell. Hence, when it’s time to be strict, the father must guide the son with truth. He should give the son a true, correct and sensible way to follow. And in showing his loving-kindness, he must use the Principle of Oneness to untie the knot in the son’s heart, so that both hearts can link together.”

Live a peaceful life. When there is friction at home, it depends on what type of heart you would use to transform the friction into peace. Likewise if there is friction outside the home, the same applies. Everyone wants to live in peace and when everyone gathers in harmony, wisdom will be generated and the world will be at peace.

Author: T.A Chew

T.A Chew, prays leaders of the world will follow the teachings of the ancient Saints and Sages. The Silence of the Wise told us the Way and the Principle of Heaven and Earth. To save this despairing world, start with oneself. Do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you. Website: white-sun.com white-sun.com

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]]> http://www.self-improvement-article.com/white-sun-the-silence-of-the-wise.html/feed Empathy or Tough Love - Make the Right Choice http://www.self-improvement-article.com/empathy-or-tough-love-make-the-right-choice.html http://www.self-improvement-article.com/empathy-or-tough-love-make-the-right-choice.html#comments Wed, 10 Mar 2010 01:07:30 +0000 Jack Wellte http://localhost/wpready/?p=14731 If you are too cold with someone when giving them constructive criticism then one might call you non-empathetic. But you most likely think this is hogwash because you believe in shooting straight and tough love. No sugar coating for you right? Well, great but there is only one problem with this and that is the politically correct crowd may target you for it.

With regards to empathy - My view is that empathy is a human trait and probably a darn good one for the species, as it helps bond families, tribes, societies and civilizations. And we all know and love that old Christian saying; “don’t give a man a fish, teach him how to fisheth.”

That indeed does seem appropriate, and thus empathy can be used correctly to give a helping hand or it can be used incorrectly and then it becomes a poison to the population. If empathy is done wrong, it makes people weak, weakness you see is not a human trait, if it were, we would not be here today.

Now mind you I am not a light weight when it comes to helping others, but when they start taking it for granted you really are not helping them anymore. Is this too hard core for you? Well, you can handle it, you are tough, winning many battles of your own I see and you did not get that way from handouts. See my point? So, perhaps it might be wise to use this empathy motif with a grain of salt and be careful not to make those around us weak.

L. Winslow is an Economic Advisor to the Online Think Tank, a Futurist and retired entreprenuer. Currently he is planning a bicycle ride across the US to raise money for charity and is sponsored by Calling-Plans.com Calling-Plans.com and all the proceeds will go to various charities who sign up.

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