Brainfood

Falling Forward and Do Overs

noreply@blogger.com (Alyse Hart) — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 21:27:00 +0000

Here was my most embarrassing flop and the turnaround. I was asked to introduce a wonderful author at a professional women’s conference. It was a chance of a lifetime to meet businesswoman and author Margaret Heffernan.

To prepare, I reread her book and wrote my intro. That morning another introducer didn’t show so in the heat of the moment they asked me (with the big personality) to introduce the founder of the organization. I knew nothing about heand they didn’t give me a cheat sheet. Before 500 women (the biggest audience I ever stood before) I blanked out.

Life is a big fat learning curve. You screw up --you correct it. Get in the game. Perfection costs you in selling. It stalls you and your negative thoughts will trap you. Quit listening to a zillion free calls (they have their place) but they are not a substitute for real action. You only learn through blunders. Make your sales calls, present to companies you think are too big for you and go beyond your comfort and you might just fail forward.

So back to me -- after my freeze I wanted to slit my wrists. On my way back to my room to beat myself up I ran into the founder and before I finished groveling she said: “Alyse, life is a do over… now go out this afternoon and introduce Margaret.”

I couldn’t say no. But I had to be clever with this chance so I said, "you may have wondered what went wrong (pause. as I pointed to my head) my hard drive crashed. I've rebooted and I am back on-line so without further ado I want to introduce you to Margaret."

Moral of the story: I went on with it. No one cared, everyone laughed, I lived and I learned 3 things:
1) Don’t say yes too fast.
2) People want to give you the benefit of the doubt and want you to succeed.
3) Ask more questions. When I agree to speak and it’s a disorganized group I expect chaos and I have fun just winging it and know it will be okay.

Rebounding is all there is. Perfection--kills. So censor less and roll with things more and correct along the way. You will improve everyday.

Overcoming Money Objections

noreply@blogger.com (Alyse Hart) — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 20:46:00 +0000

Many women are budget minded and love a good deal! We want good value. Even when we splurge, we don’t want to be “had.” When we feel “had,” we fume and are likely to blab about it to others.

Remember these common traits when your prospect seems to be stalling because of cost, MONETIZE the value of your offering.

Monetizing doesn’t necessarily mean saying your product is cheaper than your competitor’s. Monetizing means breaking things down so that cost and value are put into perspective. The buyer may not recognize the value of that “great bundle” unless you explain what it includes.

Closing is easier when you break things down so that prospects grasp what they are getting for their money.

Example: Leslie is selling gym memberships for $49 per month and gets a wide-eyed stare when she mentions the cost. She needs to monetize, break down what the price includes. After learning what her prospect wants from membership, she can detail those items included for the cost—noting the advantages that her gym offers compared to competitors.

Fortunately, Leslie has a great story. That $49 fee includes use of a day spa and two facials and massages a month, on top of the regular workouts. These special extras must be illuminated.

Viva la difference! Point out how your gym doesn’t cost $110 like the Equinox Club nor is it like the bare bones $19 no-name gym down the street. A sentence like: “We aren’t the cheapest or the most expensive,” is a good start, but be sure to explain the great extras the $49 fee includes.

Your prospect is listening for the trick. Stick to facts. “Bait and switch” does long-run damage and creates awful ripple effects. So, if it’s not a limited time offer, be sure to let your prospect know the terms. Say: “That package is good for a year from the day you sign.”

Naturally, you need to ask your customer questions about her workouts and how much she indulges on self-care, but that’s another blog post.

For now, Ms. Seller—be sure to remind yourself what a terrific value you offer and that you are going to help your customer see the wisdom of the purchase. Then you will be in the zone.

Developing Sales Confidence

noreply@blogger.com (Alyse Hart) — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 20:32:00 +0000

It’s an occupational hazard. We pitch a prospect, their defenses come up and it feels as though we are talking into nothingness. The less experienced seller thinks they’ve said or done something wrong while experienced ones have developed a healthy callus.

Here’s a strategy—don’t get hung up on approval.

Give yourself the inner approval to continue; carry on knowing that what you are saying is pushing a button. Assume so. It’s getting to them even if they show their poker face.

You have the power to not go down the sinkhole with customers—that’s self --mastery.

It’s alchemy actually and you can master this.

How? Stay connected to your core and confidence and cajole. Inject a lighthearted joke, or share something self-effacing—don’t make them wrong. They are either trying to make you squirm or they genuinely don’t want to be had or are thinking.

Here’s the biggie: you don't have to be super serious to be seen as smart and capable. Levity goes a long way. Sometimes customers need a break from the heavy burden of decision-making and changing up the pace helps the two of you get through it and get on the same page.

The best advice I received was to practice pitching into nothingness. Pitch your cactus or a dining room chair and see if you can keep your energy and conviction when you aren’t getting any signals. It’s a wonderful practice to stay behind yourself and your wisdom and keep explaining.

Increase Your Appeal

noreply@blogger.com (Alyse Hart) — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 17:16:00 +0000

We have assets and we know it. I am talking about our sexuality and playing that card. Please don’t click away, you. With a company named “Sell it Like a Woman,” I can’t resist this topic, and I know it can be a polarizing powder keg. I believe we are different from men -- Duh. Haven’t you experienced using the very same words only to find they have a different meaning to them? It can be both frustrating and kind of funny for all of us. And it validates that we are different; not better or worse -- just different. We have some advantages that I want to illuminate so you might acknowledge them consciously and decide how or if you will use them.

It’s always interesting to get messages from unlikely places when I am thinking about what to blog about. This one came a couple of weeks ago when I was driving on the freeway and listening to the radio. I heard Catherine Hakim interviewed. She is the author of Erotic Capital, a sociologist and a professor at the London School of Economics. I was intrigued and titillated when she stressed the importance of tapping into your erotic side. Simultaneously I felt just a little annoyed when I thought “not this topic AGAIN.” To be transparent, I liked her explanation so I will share it with you because it’s real and we can be conscious about it.

Let’s be honest here: most of us know we can call upon our powers of attraction in the boardroom and the bedroom even if we don’t always play that card. The way Hakim frames it makes you reconsider cultivating your erotic appeal. She calls it the 4th dimension to social, cultural, and financial prowess because it capitalizes on personal career advancement.

Hakim’s controversial point of view is that erotic appeal combines sex appeal, fitness and social skills. I want to add brains in here but I didn’t write the book. She went on to state that erotic appeal could be used very well in politics, art and sports. I say, in business too. Do you dare?

I usually call it the “It factor,” an amalgamation of all your strengths, mystery and charisma. When we don’t repress our looks, social savvy and all our education and wisdom we increase our “It” factor. When we feel good, it is sexy. People move towards you like moths to a flame and respond to your vibe. I invite you not to downplay your charms -- see them as value-added gifts and enjoy all the chances you can to use them. If you feel resistant, just notice it. Does it serve you? If not, I was helped and healed when I read Marion Woodman’s book, Conscious Femininity. It will open up your world, and today we need to access our womanliness too. Not only can you dazzle others, but you will also advance causes and light up other people, too. Your whole package makes it easier to put your ideas across and engage and enroll others.

Mental Hurdles

noreply@blogger.com (Alyse Hart) — Sat, 08 Oct 2011 00:22:00 +0000

Last week my inner tyrant had a party and I fell under her spell. I was overtired. The day started off on the wrong foot. I woke up in a cold sweat after having a disturbing dream that I couldn’t shake. My mind kept asking why would I have a dream like that?

Wrong question. Why questions make me go in circles. I went down the rabbit hold for an hour or so. Until I decided to work it out on my yoga mat. Tending to my body, mind and spirit in class gave me a break mental masturbation. And I felt better.

Although not 100% I went to work. I added 30 names to my database, sent out a mailing, contacted a potential client, attended a mastermind meeting but I didn’t feel totally into it. Next, I went on line and spent more than an hour comparing myself to everyone and concluded they were better than me and it wore me out ---I had lost control of my senses---again.

Sometimes a day of nuttiness just happens. I don’t choose to discipline myself to stop the insanity. However, instead of it lingering for weeks it shifts within 24 hours. I have tools that I can use to obtain some measure of self-mastery. Here’s the thing, when I am not taking good care of myself (overtired) I am susceptible to my inner tyrant. And we all know we shouldn’t believe the nonsense it throws at us. It’s free floating BS that runs through the collective consciousness.

Here’s what I know, I have to flex my mental muscles, I must reach out for support, it’s okay to be vulnerable, good healthy food gets my engine going, journaling and quiet contemplation starts my day off better than hitting the ground running. And even with this wisdom there are still days where it all changes and I don’t do what’s best for me. Emerson said something roughly like: show me a consistent person and I will show you someone who isn’t being authentic. Things change in our world and in our inner terrain everyday. Wise personal leadership requires that you outfox your operating system and install a new one. This one focuses on what I want, not what I don’t want, whom I wish to be around, on effortlessness, on self appreciation and self love and on enjoying more inspiration and less perspiration.

I like to tell myself that today I am not going to sweat it. I am where I should be, I am growing everyday, I may not be where I ultimately want to be, but I am further than I was. I am human and I appreciate myself.

More High Quality Friends = More Business & A Better Life

noreply@blogger.com (Alyse Hart) — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 19:15:00 +0000

Ethel Barrymore nailed it when she said "It's really good to have friends before you need them." Cultivating circles of friends is critical to your survival not to mention having a laugh and making a living. But busy women don't often think they have the time to develop new friendships and we aren't always willing to be strategic about courting the ones that will benefit us. Heaven forbid we are seen as too opportunistic or concerned for ourselves. But we must choose wisely and your parents were right when they said who your friends are speaks volumes about you.

Everything has to do with your ability to be a good friend and deliberately seek out friends according to their caliber...who they know, what they do well, what they bring to your party and what they can do for you. No, I am not saying you need to ditch your friend who just lost her job, whose parent died or is in a funk right now. I know someone is thinking how cold I am being and how I seemed like a nice girl in my past postings... bear with me please--because we have to look at this. (This in itself is the root cause of why people spend time courting the wrong prospects--btw.)

If you consider yourself a nice, kind or a good girl this all flies in the face of how we are groomed. We take care of others, we do the right thing and we watch out for the underdog so we find ourselves tired rather than energized. Developing and leveraging your connections is really important. Your portfolio of friends needs to be diverse and only you can decide based on your values and objectives where these people will come from. So before diving into how you can scout -the most important thing is that you need to seek friends who will support your growth and contribute in meaningful ways to you and vice versa. New friends should be on an adventure themselves and since they are they are generally more encouraging, optimistic, curious, and resourceful and creative minded...oh and interesting too. In their presence you feel everything is possible and you don't have to apologize or reel it in or dial it back.

Be on the look out for:
Women who are on a path you'd like to be on yourself.
People who have a knack for attracting money.
Seasoned women with advanced degrees and graduated from School of Hard Knocks.
Activists with a cause.
People in key positions.
Women affiliated with spiritual organizations, religious, political organizations.
Women who golf, play tennis, mountain-bike or dance, sing, drum.
Friends of friends.
You get the idea. Appreciate your own brilliance since you have something valuable to offer others too.

If you know any amazing people you think I should connect with please make an introduction.

Should you trust your intuition?

noreply@blogger.com (Alyse Hart) — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 21:08:00 +0000

Yes and no. Intuition when preceded by the word “women’s” and said by men or manly women cheapens it--- implying it’s unreliable, weird or just too mysterious to bank on. That’s why we turn our backs on this marvelous gift instead of harnessing the power.

You can call it trusting your gut, using your belly brain or getting a hit—and you’ve experienced how reliable it is. That’s because ladies catch concepts and notice patterns and put it all together in our library of a brain for later use. And like profiling, when we experience something similar to what we have known we recognize the larger picture and viola we receive a message. A flash of inspiration that says, “the last time someone told you that in this context it worked out horribly—don’t go for it.” Or a picture or a feeling that makes you want to bolt. This happens in a blink of a eye at a subconscious level.

Helen E. Fisher says that our brain circuitry evolved so we could size up people and situations that threatened our survival and being able to tune in allowed women to save their babies. This is why women have an edge when it comes to reading people. With thousands of years of development you need to understand that we are accessing something amazing. At the very least --listen to the hunches and couple it with logic to double check your belly brain.

Intuition is one more tool for making choices.

Here’s when you can trust the reliability:

1) When you have experience in something your instincts will be sharper. For example, you grew up driving in extreme weather conditions so even though you might live in Florida or California you need to honor your instincts to stay home when it pours.

2) When your body talks to you. If you feel exhausted, get a horrible headache or experience pain when you are around a prospective customer than something is “off” and wrong, this may not be a great fit. ( If you are skeptical see if you can’t find someone who knows them and get a beat on them.)

3) When you are going to invest beaucoup bucks or time notice your feeling and check it. If you are going to spend thousands on a course that promises the world and it feels wrong you need to sleep on it. If you are going to spend lots of time on a project—check to see if it feels right. Use your logic and check on it ---see if there are lots of bad reviews.

Intuition isn’t 100% reliable. But it’s a valid tool for making choices and a very cool GPS. I use it to follow my joy. If someone feels good and it feels right I trust it and proceed. Here’s the caveat—when it feels really right it’s rarely wrong. My buddy created a live website on spec for a company, her partner warned her not to go all out because she only had 24 hours to do it. She ignored his advice because she had strong chemistry with the prospect and the deal worked out to be a $30K+ deal that went well beyond website development. She told me she just knew. We need intuition and logic to prosper in this economy—don’t ignore half of your brain.

Five of the Best Sales Questions

noreply@blogger.com (Alyse Hart) — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 01:23:00 +0000

Moms are skillful at peeling away drama and words to get to the heart of kids perceived “issue.” Likewise a seller must do the same. You must root in and bring to light what’s really going on so you both gains clarity about their situation and the next steps.

Your instrument is questions. Open ended ones. Not the kind that invite a simple yes or no. Better to begin your questions with: who, what, where, when, how?

Leave out “why” because it can be an antagonizing—if it’s not done in just the right tone at just the right time the wall will come up. Here’s a few of my favorite questions I find effective to use during my preliminary meetings.

1) What’s worrying you about your current situation?

2) How long has it been going on?

3) How have you tried to turn it around?

4) Where do see this going if no action is taken?

5) What have you tried so far that’s worked?

These are just five but there can be thirty or more questions that will work for your kind you and your needs. Be sure to always ask, listen, dig, diagnose and learn so you can understand and know what to emphasize and what will have the most meaning to the customer. Once you are clear you can offer a fix, cure or hope and advance to the close.

Do You Need Therapy?

noreply@blogger.com (Alyse Hart) — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 22:29:00 +0000

The first time I met Lorrie Thomas of Web Marketing Therapy, she spoke at an event that my friend Tea Silvestre, owner of The Word Chef invited me to. Lorrie threw chill pills out into the audience as she spoke and I liked her and her smarts right away. . Her company has been around since the late 90s and I know you will enjoy our interview.

Oh and one more thing--I’ll be interviewing copywriters, web mavens and some of my favorite quirky and unique people on the subject of marketing in the months to come. That’s because marketing and sales are kissing cousins. They aren’t the same and you can’t do one very well without the other.

Alyse) How can women use their powers of seduction?

I think women just need to be confident. That is seductive. When we know who we are, what our value is and what we want, that attracts...personally and professionally~

Alyse) What kind of marketing advice must you repeat over and over?

Lorrie) identify what you want (personally, professionally) THEN put all the wild web tools to work. It’s not the tools, but HOW we use the tools strategically" that makes our marketing matter.

Alyse) Share a Small Business Owners common unrealistic expectation?

Lorrie) Believing web tools will magically make them money. WRONG! I was just conversing with Darla Bea Smith (WMT's Cyber Cowgirl!) about a client we had advised who was speaking, networking and using the web as a way to reinforce her communications and to expedite service. She understands that SHE is the driving force behind getting her business booming (and it is!) and the web tools are her back up to support her. It's passive behavior to expect to launch a blog or a social media account and expect sales to come in. These tools need driving, momentum and energy!

Alyse) Marketing attracts prospective customers and humans close them or shepherd them to the finish line…selling is very important.

Alyse) Advice on how not to be an e-hole?

Lorrie) Ahahaha! E-hole. FUNNY! Remember that "it is nice to be important, but more important to be nice" and let that be your guide online. We serve and support via marketing as a means to sell (not the other way around).

Alyse) Is the Web still the wild west?

Lorrie) The wild web still has no rules - yeeeeha! The "no rules" concept still applies, elitism of marketing is dead...ANYONE can have a place on the world wide web thanks to social media and the low-cost/no-cost options out there. Women are winning big time on the web because they can be heard, seen and can connect in ways that couldn’t before.

Alyse) I notice a more female or a warmer way of communicating on line—is a “professional” tone uncool?

Lorrie) It's all about writing in our authentic voices...whether that is funny, serious, sassy, smart or a combination of both. A more "feminine" professional can absolutely be more feminine now if that is truly who she is. At the end of the day, male or female, if you are good at what you do, you can own your value, values and voice it and attract your ideal clients...on your terms.

Alyse) What exciting shifts are you seeing with businesswomen now?

Lorrie) Women are embracing all forms of social media and what I love is they are developing their own strategy. Some of my clients are anti-Facebook unless it is for friends/family, but they blog and have a business page and are on LinkedIn. Some try all social media flavors - blog, Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin. I am seeing a huge trend is the gravitation towards YouTube. I LOVE seeing women share their three V's via video - so authentic!! FYi: Three V's: Value, Values and our authentic Voice.

Alyse) What no BS advice can you tell women business owners with 1-3 years under their belt?

Lorrie) Marketing Rx: Get over yourself. Clients fall off the therapy couch when I say this, but it's a healthy virtual smack to remind us that no matter how good we are, we are never done learning, optimizing and growing. There are people out there smarter, younger and cheaper than us. Unless we continually do the self-work to learn, give, grow and love our businesses, and ourselves we run the risk to get walloped by competition.

My other common Marketing RX is to "own it". This means owning work, owning your value and if you want something done to make it happen. Women can't expect to be discovered for their fabulousness. Marketing takes time and energy, but if you want success, it is there waiting!

Alyse). What marketing fear is often overblown?

Not having enough time or that marketing is "hard". It often means either a lack of knowing how to do web marketing well, or it's inability to write, or lack of strategy/purpose. Feeling overblown is healthy - it's also a cry to stop, think and retool. Sometimes it's time to "do what you do best and pay others to do the rest." It’s smart to measure web work to put energy on what really matters and make time for it.

Alyse). How can women avoid get rich quick marketing schemes that cost thousands? Should they be a DIY person before hiring someone?

Lorrie) It is so important to be a healthy skeptic. The key is to do homework before hiring people. Look at their web marketing - are they walking the talk? Do you like their style? Do they have references? The best thing to do before any "mavens" are hired is to KNOW WHAT YOU WANT FIRST. When you are clear with your wants and needs then hiring gets a lot easier. I wrote my book, The 36-Hour Course to Online Marketing (McGraw-Hill) www.tinyurl.com/onlinemarketingbook to be an inexpensive educational tool to help people know ALL the aspects of web marketing best practices first...then mavens can be engaged.

Alyse) What is the coolest thing you've got on the horizon? Can you say?

Lorrie) Ohhhh! I have something juicy work-wise (a great low cost educational thing!) and I can't say....so join my email list on www.webmarketingtherapy.com and stay tuned. On my website, I have some fun case studies under services that are featured. And I suppose my new job as mom (I'm due in November) is pretty darn coolio!

Alyse) How about some practical advice for a service provider i.e. personal chef, trainer, homeopathic doctor when she can only service the local area.

A) Local web marketing is amazing. The key is being clear that you are geo-based. First things first - get a Google Places listing.

Alyse) Advice on how not to be an e-hole?

Lorrie) Ahahaha! e-hole. FUNNY! Remember that "it is nice to be important, but more important to be nice" and let that be your guide online. We serve and support via marketing as a means to sell (not the other way around).

e. lorrie@webmarketingtherapy.com

Slow down and sell better

noreply@blogger.com (Alyse Hart) — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 16:18:00 +0000

Overwhelmed, distracted and jacked up from electronic interruptions... how can we cope and focus on selling? How can we prioritize and know who to contact and when? We can’t discern well when we go at warp speed. Slowing down to the speed of thought is a big piece of selling it like a woman. It takes a little practice.

It’s yogic. The more active and yang you have been, the more you need to do a counter move deeper inside to reconnect with your wisdom and juice. At first, doing so will feel hard, pointless or even non productive. But it is in the slowing down, the non-doing, while painting, journaling or even walking slowly in nature that will connect you to your inner guidance or intuition. Often pooh-poohed, underrated and underutilized in the halls of big business, now, leading edge thinkers and companies recognize it as the well-spring for brilliance. It is when we go there that great out-of-the-box ideas come and our actions will be spot-on. Your inner GPS system can led you to the best clients, right things at the right moment and even crafting attractive offerings if you obey.

The more aware you become of your gut and sensations and trust and act on the information, inspiration and hunches you receive, the better everything will work out. Your guidance is strengthened when you pay attention to it. Taking action based on the feelings you receive enhances your abilities and when you see how reliable they are you can begin to relax more —because it is dependable — and dare I say, you will be happier and wealthier. You are wired with this incredible free resource.

If you are dismissing this as fluff, consider this: the top business people are hyper-aware of themselves and their surroundings, patterns and trends. They scan, discern, synthesize information and create something or change directions in a blink of an eye. (Check out how Malcolm Gladwell frames it in his book Blink.) They usually have a practice (outside of the office) that includes yoga, storytelling, sailing, dance or the arts — anything to drop out of their heads and refresh.

So, pay attention to your sensations; it is your gold. When you receive a hit and your head, gut or heart tells you "This is good," or "This isn’t so good," follow it and see what happens and where it takes you. It is not uncommon to have spent decades working from the neck up. If we can take a fraction of the time we’ve devoted to that and open up to another possibility, we will indeed add more tools to our tool belts. I prefer to think about is as expanding my range and being able to be in the moment and more responsive to anything a prospect will throw my way while staying deeply connected to myself, my integrity and up for the challenge of a sales conversation and winning their hearts and minds.

Is Manipulative A Bad Word?

noreply@blogger.com (Alyse Hart) — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 18:06:00 +0000

Few words pack a punch like the word “manipulate”. Over the years when I say that it’s good to be aware of the emotional triggers that make buyers buy, I invariably hear, “That would be manipulative!” I say, “Really?”

Words like “bossy” rank up there with “manipulation”. They are social “don’ts.” That is why I love how Tina Fey embraced her boss self (Ms. Bossypants.) It’s given me permission to embrace my bossiness and not reject my sometimes decisive nature. Tina has a sense of humor about her bossiness and surely has learned to enjoy the payoff of taking charge of her life. So, is it really a bad thing or just something we need to put into perspective? I think the latter. Once we can be honest with ourselves, it allows us to make peace with our nature and own our power.

So let’s have a little healing today. Here’s the definition of MANIPULATE (verb).

Handle, manage, work, operate, control, employ.

And also:

influence, work on, move, motivate, direct, lead, conduct, steer.

Here’s the stuff you don’t like:

take advantage of, plot, scheme and engineer.

Okay, so let’s be honest now. Few of us haven’t pushed a button or two. You’ve done this in getting your kids to go to bed on time or in convincing your mate eat healthier. You may have even promised to cut him off from special favors if he doesn’t slim down. You know how to move people, and many times they thank you later. Isn’t that manipulation? Maybe it feels better to say “premeditated planning” or “propositioning”.

You aren’t looking to pull a fast one. Therefore your words aren’t manipulative in a bad sense since they come from the right place, are for the highest good for all concerned and are helping the receiver change in ways they only dreamed. Being conscious about how you are going to activate others is not only acceptable, it’s necessary. Necessary because you are in business to help people and make money (aka profit from your activities). And people don’t take action very easily or quickly in some cases. So go ahead and tap into emotional triggers to activate prospects. It’s your job to influence, direct and lead using those triggers so you can easily shepherd people past their indecision, uncertainty, and limited thinking to get over their pain and enjoy more pleasure.

Ladies, pre-plan like crazy and create offers that you know will work and are hard to resist. Between you and me, I don’t really think we are afraid of being manipulative. I think we fear getting it so right that we feel as though we are cheating, fudging and not working hard enough. Please think about your innate powers and use them. Don’t pretend you don’t have them. Use more mindful manipulation and enjoy the outcome.

Tell me what you think about this topic! Right on? Icky?

Brainfood: Four Reasons you don’t like to Close

noreply@blogger.com (Alyse Hart) — Fri, 22 Jul 2011 23:15:00 +0000

Brainfood: Four Reasons you don’t like to Close: "Closing is a loaded word. The mere word creates pressure (self-inflicted), and it’s risky for sure... but there is a pay off: cash flo..."

Four Reasons you don’t like to Close

noreply@blogger.com (Alyse Hart) — Fri, 22 Jul 2011 04:03:00 +0000

Closing is a loaded word. The mere word creates pressure (self-inflicted), and it’s risky for sure... but there’s a pay off: cash flow! And, well if you aren’t closing, you are having lots of conversations that don’t reward you.

Avoidance boils down to 4 things. These are broad brushstrokes, but many women struggle with at least one of them at some time or another. They are:

1. We hate endings. Endings are final, and we like good things to go on.

2. We are sensitive to rejection. Men get used to being turned down by women at a young age, and they lick their wounds and say, “NEXT!” faster!

3. We don’t like rocking the boat. We like relating and believe asking people to spend money and decide will make them mad.

4. We can’t get what we want -- and if we want business badly we’ll be let down.

Now that the elephant is out in room we can deal with it. Closing is a natural progression of a job well done. Make it to a third conversation and it’s time, for your sake and theirs, to preserve time and energy and move them towards a decisive narrowing-conversation. You are either in the running or not. Besides making money and being paid there’s one big thing I will tell you that will take the pressure off closing, guaranteed. It’s a little head adjustment that works like a charm. Visit me over here and I will promptly send you the key to making peace with selling. You will actually get excited.

Use the power of the pause.

noreply@blogger.com (Alyse Hart) — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 00:37:00 +0000

A majority of us dread the sound of dead air. We try to fill up the quiet because it’s deafening. You are not alone here; pregnant pauses induce uncomfortable feelings. When we are presenting an idea and it is met with silence, our imaginations go wild. We believe the customer might say "I hate it," "I hate you," "This is the worst product idea I’ve ever heard," "It costs way too much," and "You are a fraud."

So before we hear anything we might not like, sometimes we throw something in just to be sure they “get” what we are trying to put forth. We cut “fantasy” (because we don’t know if it’s true or not) bad news off at the pass. This is a sucker's move.

When you propose something during what feels like an awkward moment of truth, and it gets quiet and they are contemplating - DO NOTHING. WAIT. Yes, it will seem like an eternity, but wait for a beat or two. Practice being with the quiet, and it will get easier. She who speaks first isn’t in the power position.

When the customer does responsed, instead of employing a knee-jerk reaction, digest what she's finally said. Buy time and clarify by asking, “Were you saying... ?” If you don’t wish to ask directly, you can be psychic and try to read into what they’ve just said by playing it back to them with your interpretation. If they say, “No, I didn’t mean it that way,” than either your listening is off or your prospect is confused, playing/testing you, or her/his phrasing is just unclear. That’s when you should ask them to repeat it. This way you get on the same page.

Try some self-psych self-talk by saying this: “I am able to handle whatever comes my way.” Make it a habit to count, “1, 1000, 2, 1000, 3, 1000,” in your head so you give customers time to formulate a reply. This also keeps you busy so you don’t blurt.

As you allow for more silent spaces when you have conversations with friends, kids, mates and customers, you will find how they enjoy being heard and trust you more. Once that happens, you can continue to advance the sales conversation and confidently head to the close.

Discover your inner genius

noreply@blogger.com (Alyse Hart) — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 16:26:00 +0000

Have you ever watched a comedy improv show? The actors on stage aren’t working off a memorized script. In order to be really funny, they have to use their wits and fly by the seat of their pants, deeply tuning into their fellow players and the situation onstage. I recently read about an improv company in Chicago whose director said, and I paraphrase, “Make others look good and the whole company and scene will look good. Focus on yourself and the troupe looks bad.”

Comedy improvisation is highly competitive and collaborative; the same could be said about selling. Great selling is about doing your best to make the client or prospect look good. You can make them look good by helping them sort, distinguish, select and chose what will work well for them. Helping others make smart decisions and avoid stupid ones might mean you may not sell as much or as fast as you wanted or hoped for, but only in the short term.

Improvisation is intuition in action. Practice first and it becomes a habit. You become so tuned in that you can easily respond in any moment with what you feel is needed or right. You’ll empathically know what to do with that customer, who to call or visit, or what to focus on today. Even if you work in a structured way, you can begin to invite in miraculous surprises. What if--- you listened to your hunches? What if—you responded to information as if there were nothing to lose or gain? You’d begin to flow better, connect the dots easier, make interesting choices. You’d begin to notice you already have a guidance system that is quite accurate. You begin to sell and live like an artist—expressing your voice and coming from your heart.

Know your stuff very well, then throw away all your preconceived ideas of how things should unfold. Keep your formulas in the beginning, but throw them away as soon as they start to feel like straight jackets. Then you can begin to “play jazz, ” and amazing alchemic things will happen. Do what feels right, right in that very moment and you will not only amaze yourself but also interact with others in ways you couldn’t really plan.

Maybe balancing is bunk

noreply@blogger.com (Alyse Hart) — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 21:56:00 +0000

I am in a crunch right now. The intensity of rolling out a new product has cranked up the number of hours I sit at my computer (which doesn’t thrill me). I am a people person. But I am noticing how I’ve changed in the last year, since I am willingly and joyfully breaking away to grab more yoga classes to cool off my nervous system. This is a breakthrough because although I’ve read so many articles about balance, I’ve often failed to take total control over my time and have put my well-being last on the list.

Who hasn’t? We hear and read about balance; there are tons of tools available to make us more efficient too. Yet, we are spinning out more than ever. Every woman I know is either striving to be better or postponing. Vowing that once we clean we will vacation, exercise or have drinks with friends. Balance seems like bunk.

Maybe we need to manage better, like my husband says. Or perhaps, like my meditation teacher says, it’s about flow. How about self-regulation? Here’s a practice that takes all my might, and when you do it you can be in control more than usual. It’s what I’ve been playing with.

Push and than back off just a little.
Engage fully and later let go and surrender.
Honker down and trust the universe, spirit, light beings, God to intervene; let go and receive.

In spin classes, you do interval training and pump really hard until the teacher says “Release the tension of the road.” For a brief moment, your legs are being pulled in circles effortlessly. Life is like that -- there’s a force there to assist if we let it.

Life doesn’t have to be a 24/7-spin cycle. You can willfully regulate it, vary the intensity and length of stress and relax. But the idea of equal proportions of Zen and crazy busy can make you nuts. Some days will be more demanding and you will be able to do more with greater grace and clarity if you give yourself the gift of downshifting. Forget the balance B.S—it’s too annoying.

Why we hate selling

noreply@blogger.com (Alyse Hart) — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 04:26:00 +0000

This is a true story, and I’ve withheld the names so I won’t embarrass anyone. I was attending a co-ed networking meeting, and they introduced a new exercise instead of the 30-second weekly elevator pitch we do week after week. The instructions were to update other members on what you were doing; essentially we were to be relationship building. Novel, since to try to refer business to others without knowing them or what sets them apart seems idiotic. Anyway, I was excited to get a little more time to explain my new on-line series called Zero to Hero until the following happened.

Somehow because of the name (Sell it Like a Woman), men of a certain age either a) knock it and grimace or b) age regress and try to show me how tough they are. Some women want to tell me how fantastic they are with their sales skills and make sure to never really ask me for the details of what makes me different. And when I don’t bite, they say they can use more business.

So, this guy decides to start and doesn’t really tell us about his current business but tells us how he got the sales bug. He began selling clothing while he was in high school and did well. An order got screwed up and the customer ranted, so he hand delivered her a new batch. She was so shocked and delighted that she became a regular customer. So he decided to use his “make a mistake and make it good” ploy to demonstrate how caring he was. (Yes, it’s often how you fix a problem that shows what you are made of but that’s another article). A woman chimed in saying how she loves selling and especially on planes because the passengers are hostages and can’t get away from her. Together they laughed and looked at me like I was a fool. I felt as though I was watching the movie Tin Men. I said, “You both wouldn’t be my ideal customer because you know what you are doing.” They were happy.

Truth is that kind of thinking and action makes me want to hurl. It’s why many women don’t want to sell, and I swear you don’t need to employ those kinds of games. Read on for the upshot.

I seized the chance to at least tell the rest of the table members about the “wins” people working with me have experienced and what makes me different. Afterwards, a young man approached me and said he agreed with my POV and told me this story. He has a friend who stutters so badly it’s hard to understand him. When he decided to go into audio sales, this guy was scared for him. Now, within 2 years, he has customers like Stevie Wonder and is referred to many top musicians. His knowledge, attention and passion overshadow the stutter. He has high credibility and he’s inspirational. If he can do it, wow.

Moral of the story: you don’t have to be slick to sell, and it’s better in my book to be real and passionate, and hungry too.

Famous Men Who Want Women To Rule Our World

noreply@blogger.com (Alyse Hart) — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 01:34:00 +0000

Famous Men Who Want Women To Rule Our World

You Matter

noreply@blogger.com (Alyse Hart) — Thu, 02 Jun 2011 17:37:00 +0000

There are days when we wake up and want to chuck the small business life. We want to bag on our dreams, and, frankly, if we suffer from WOP (watching other people) and thinking we are behind or it will never happen or why not us, we can find plenty of reasons to just quit. And that's when the noise amplifies and you've got every good reason why your thing won't hit it. The wild thing is that you could have had a 5 day run when you said your affirmations, business was percolating, you worked out, did yoga and ate your greens. But out of the blue the mind virus of doom visits.

This week I am a going lean on my post. I wrote this poem when I was trying to convince myself to carry on about 7 years ago. It's from my book Your Corporate Recovery, and I still like it. I hope it speaks to your soul; consider it a message from my higher self to yours. Share it with someone who has a great idea but who doubts herself so we can have a spontaneous group awakening and healing. Let it go viral. I believe in you!

You Matter
Every note has been played before;
        it’s how the musician arranges notes that matter.
Every cooking ingredient has been used before;
        it’s how you mix it that matters.
Every word has been used before;
        it’s the way that you say it that matters.
Every garment has been made before, there’ve been shirts and dresses and pants before;
        it’s the stitching and how you assemble them that matter.
Every play has been done before — there have been tragedies and comedies;
        it’s the new setting or characters that matters.
Inspirational books have been written before on every topic;
        it’s the author’s personal sharing and slant on the experience that matters.
Every muscle has been used in sports before; there’s been skiing and skating before.
        It’s how you uniquely combine them that matters.
There’s always room for you, for your way of doing it,
        and YES your attempt at something new is what matters!
There has never been anyone like you before and never will there be anyone exactly like you again. The contributions you make, your words, your smile, the essence of who you are uniquely touch people. It’s no accident that you’re here, no insignificance; you’re here to contribute, and you’ll find what it is if you keep looking and talking. Even if it feels like you can’t or if you think what you have to say is too small to matter, it’s not. You’ll never know which random act will alter your path and life forever. All you have to do is take action and put one foot in front of the other and believe in your strength.
You can do it.

Power of Persuasion

noreply@blogger.com (Alyse Hart) — Tue, 17 May 2011 17:14:00 +0000

Persuasive people do well in business, and they tend to be good at storytelling. Yet, many of us don’t think about using stories when we do business. I think it’s a chick thing... we’ve been so used to hearing “just get to the point” that we become bottom-liners in business. The shame of this is that not only do our communications become vanilla, but we squelch the gift we have entirely. Instead, we need to be purposeful with our stories. Not to ramble on aimlessly but illuminate points subtly.

When I want to make the point that we should be frugal or bootstrap, I tell the story about the salon owner who bought a big advertising campaign that wiped out her budget and lost her shop versus the woman who volunteered one afternoon at a high school to cut the students' hair and picked up 10 new customers and their moms. The message gets across loud and clear.

Consider dusting off your storytelling skills that you used when you persuaded your parents to let you stay up late, watch a TV show or use their car. Some of you haven’t used those skills since you were preteen. It worked back then, and I encourage you to be more intentional now -— be as hungry and motivated as you were when back then -- and enjoy a thriving business.

If you are still skeptical, you will be interested to learn that Hollywood’s Peter Guber teaches a storytelling class at UCLA and was interviewed in Inc. magazine on the subject. He wondered why he failed in business in some instances and succeeded in others; it was when he neglected to tell a purposeful story to his employees, audience or shareholders. His new book is called “Tell to Win” -- should be powerful. I have written my own Report called “Getting your story straight,” and it, along with 9 other topics, will be available in June.

Getting through the dark before dawn

noreply@blogger.com (Alyse Hart) — Fri, 06 May 2011 16:26:00 +0000

Small businesswomen are unstoppable, but if results don’t come fast enough we lose steam. And it can get worse. Uncertainty and disillusion set in, and our thinking becomes dark. Sure, we can chose better thoughts and that’s an inner game we must master. But before you consider bagging on your business or dream, hear this: just before the big breakthrough it often feels like you will have a breakdown or burn out. HANG IN. Correct your course in any of the following ways.

1) Don’t go it alone. Without a support circle or mastermind there are only so many great thoughts to be generated, and it’s easy to fall into the sinkhole of doom and doubt. Instead: gain the wisdom and experience of others, benefit from some accountability, and enjoy the boost of having others cry or laugh with you. Several smart heads are better than one.

2) Adjust your Pricing. Are you unaware of competitive products and service offerings? You may be positioned wrong, either priced too high before your products and services are notorious or putting yourself so deeply “on-sale” that you aren’t covering costs. Instead: create a short and long term pricing strategy.

3) Plug up your energy leaks. Don’t waste too much time. Coffees, phone calls and networking with low pay-offs and screen sucking eat up valuable time. Instead: learn to disqualify well and faster using a pre-set mental curtain.

4) Hand things off. Delegate what you can. Bootstrapping is one thing, but when you develop, design, balance the books, promote and network, who has time for selling? Instead: pay or barter for administrative help and hire a seller.

5) Invest money wisely. Take a long view. Plan ahead so you don’t waste money running an advertisement here and a directory there without knowing the bigger picture or having any success metrics in place. Skip highly stimulating but unsustainable workshops. Instead: invest in a copywriter, on-going personal development, anything with a strong return on the investment and proven results.

6) Talk to the right people. Chatting up people with no money, no need or no interest will wear you out. Instead: Find your peeps, niche it and you will find more love.

7) Fix your follow up. You meet and plant seeds but don’t go back to fertilize or harvest. Instead: get a system or software that will prompt you so you don’t let any get away.

When you’ve done the hard work, you need to hang in to harvest. A better investment of time, energy, and money is to have a smart circle of peers and experts to help. It makes the difference between your business popping or you pooping out.

Looks Help Your Sales

noreply@blogger.com (Alyse Hart) — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 16:46:00 +0000

Well-merchandised stores induce spending and lift your mood too. Good-looking materials, color coordinated displays and a neat, clean look with unique messaging can sway prospects. Think about it - don’t you have negative reactions and preconceived ideas about people who dress sloppily or who have lackluster blogs or websites? Be honest... We equate unattractive with amateurish, cheap and clueless. Better looking anything means you increase the odds of selling more stuff. Unattractive or unappealing can be a deal breaker, and your expertise is negated. Your inner brilliance won’t shine.

Success in selling is all about accumulating points so you are favored and chosen above someone else. This way, you get the money and close the deal. Attractive offerings will give you an advantage. And it is easy to stand out.

You can create a halo effect by making sure your offerings look good. It’s so basic, yet so overlooked. But this will eliminate unnecessary obstacles to “yes.” Retailers, clothes stylists, ad agencies, restaurant designers and savvy entrepreneurs achieve an advantage when details are right. Even if the product or service isn’t as great as another, “good looking” works magic. The littlest touch, the accent piece, a cool logo, a bow, wrapping paper, a custom business card shows you care and made the effort.

Challenge: What can you do to be unforgettable? Does your stuff make you proud? How can you wow? We don't see our stuff objectively. Get a second opinion about your proposals, your products, and adjust them. If it costs too much go ahead and barter or find a graphic design student who can work within your budget.

Inspiration: There has never been anyone like you before and there won’t be anyone like you ever again. Do something very specific and in a signature way. Choose to be more YOU this week.

Alyse Hart is the Chief Sales Muse at Sell it Like a Woman, a non-traditional sales training source for people who need to sell. Alyse's Zero to Hero program begins again on May 26, 2011.

Want to know how to sell better?

noreply@blogger.com (Alyse Hart) — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 23:09:00 +0000

Scientists say our mind processes through stories. Back in the day, the boys would urge us to just get to the point. Give your prospects the unemotional, skimmed-down value proposition.

Come on - speak English. Three bullet points don’t move me. If you explain how a car has air bags, heated seats and four on the floor, am I supposed to get excited? How about: on a rainy night, Jill had her 3 year old in the back seat and was hit by a small truck. The car rolled three times but they weren’t even scratched. Thank goodness for the sensor that forewarned her, the side airbags and the system that alerted AAA.

You see how stories are powerful and sexy? Use them in your pitches and casual mini-meetings. Stories sway prospects so they make up their minds and take action. Stories can demonstrate your expertise and clarify your position and point of view. They help distinguish you from others in your field. Best of all, they give the listener something they can repeat.

A good story can go viral so prospects and customers become your personal PR machines. So it really pays to practice creating and structuring your story until it’s so good that you like it and you can’t wait to tell it, again and again. When you do this foundation work your selling will be easier.

Stories are also effective because they break the tension. Since telling a story is just sharing yours or a customer’s experience, people won’t argue with you. They may take exception to the story but not to you. Stories don’t bring up defenses - they deliver a point. Best of all, they entertain and educate and can drive a decision in your favor. And they are fun to tell and best yet, you won’t forget yours.

You are a storyteller - it’s in you. Step into the shoes of your customers, sense what they are thinking and feeling, and deliver a story that will move them. I can make the process painless for you; Email me or call (310) 463-7815 if you need some help.

Customers are gifts

noreply@blogger.com (Alyse Hart) — Mon, 11 Apr 2011 17:25:00 +0000

What’s it like to do business with you? Ever ask? How often do you imagine what it’s like to be in your customers’ shoes? Not often I bet. Instead, and we’ve all done it, we complain about them. Their indecision, repetitive questions, and struggles frustrate us. When we try to help and they don’’t return calls, our patience wears thin. If we are tired or wired we might even feel justified and unloved. If it’s a really bad day, we vent with friends and talk about how hard business is.

This is all normal. Human interactions are complicated. How can we bless customers and their imperfections when we aren’t feeling it? What gets in the way is our fantasy about the perfect client. They should be easy, never doubt you, pay early, always be on time, be super grateful and tell all their friends about you. But it’s not like that all the time.

Last night as I sat at Maria’s Kitchen getting to know a super-successful businesswoman who has a number of employees, she brought it all home. Her reps and designers gripe when the customers are impatient, need an overnight turn-around, turn in material that is sized wrong and needs tweaking. While it’s frustrating, she reminds them to be grateful for the annoyances. If they didn’t have those needs, they’d do business with an on-line company with no customer service. Those customers pay their salaries.

I am not suggesting that you endure abuse. I am saying that you are needed. You are a midwife of change. It’s your job to listen deeply and take people from indecision and fear and make it simple and easy for them to get through it. That’s what you are paid to do. Besides that, customers can be a great personal growth class. Stalk yourself and notice how you act with customers and would be clients. Do you go cold when they get needy? Are you compassionate and understanding? You must be able to go into the eye of the storm with people and lead them through chaos to calm. Customers are great mirrors and teachers. The irritants provide the greatest lessons and the hardest to satisfy teach you to disqualify and disconnect faster or love them a bunch more. And when the rare easy one comes along, I call it grace!

Conscious Sales Power

noreply@blogger.com (Alyse Hart) — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 16:35:00 +0000

I am tired of hearing how women don’t want to be “salesy”. It’s short hand for pushy, and I get it. I understand what you oppose, completely. But don’t turn off to selling altogether. You are already one heck of a persuasive seller. Notice how you’ve convinced yourself that you can’t or won’t do it? Pretty persuasive eh?

I invite you to embrace and change the complexion of selling. Let’s get beyond this already and stop looking backwards to how the men have done it. We women are smart, we buy things all the time, and we’ve known how to sell. It’s time not be so coy. It’s time to be more deliberate and conscious.

If you are unsatisfied with your business performance in 2010, it’s time to get serious. Look your sales reluctance straight in the eye. What’s really going on is a reluctance to use your power consciously. And selling in this era is about power, not force. Selling used to emphasize how much you the seller could get away with and how far you could go to have an advantage. It was a win/lose proposition. It’s not what works today.

To embrace your sales power, you must gain comfort with the fact that you can sway others and you’ve done it for years, just maybe not in a business setting. When someone is indecisive or you see an opportunity, this is when you exercise your influence, use the trust you’ve gained, leverage the good name you have, and summon your expertise. Practice saying, “I suggest...” or “I recommend...” and be willing to explain why. These statements take you from conversing to concluding cheerfully.

Forget about scoring, going for the kill or how fast you should close to win. That’s so yesterday. It’s a misuse of power. When you have the cleanest and best intentions for your customer’s well-being, take the lead and be a deciding influencer.