Sermons in Stones

Proof that I might have gone a little OCD when Ella was on the way

2009-11-11T12:39:00.004-06:00

I went into the office looking for just one document. You know how it goes. Three hours and more than a bag full of trash later, I still haven't found what I originally set out to find, but I have happened across some gems in all the clutter.

And I just had to share. Because that's what I do. I'm a Sharer.

I had to smile at Myself From a Year Ago because very little of this was ever implemented. Especially since Chris was laid off two months before Ella was born. Like most things, we made do with what we had and found sales where we could, and I realized again that such details and decorations just don't matter in the grand scheme of things.

We did end up using the navy blue infant carseat that the boys had used, and it didn't kill us. A little self-conscious, I put accents of pink in it most of the time. Maybe one person said something about a "cute little boy" that whole time Ella was in it. I did find a new pink cover on Ebay, but by that time, she only had a few months left in that carseat anyway.

In addition to this list, I spent hours online searching for the perfect bedding set that used light blue in a girly way, and finding nothing pre-made even spent time picking out fabrics as if I'd ever sew such a complex set myself. After all that effort, I found a girly nursery set with blue in it (as well as pink, yellow, green, and purple) for $30 at the consignment sale. Then, I purchased two pink crib sheets on sale for $4 each at Target. You know what? Ellie hasn't complained about the lack of a stylishly coordinated nursery even once. She does have a very nice furniture set in there, and that is more than enough.

Oh, and that grey kitty with the pink nose? Cooper found it sitting in Ellie's crib before she was born and claimed it for his own, which solved the problem of trying to bring grey into the mix.

May induce spontaneous smiles

2009-11-10T11:44:00.001-06:00

I think we have the beginnings of some curly hair here. That makes me excited. Oh, and yes, there are seven (almost eight) teeth in that smile. She only had three a month and a half ago. Busy. Busy. And perhaps a little fussy. I happened across a picture of 15-month-old Jackson earlier today and realized that eight was the number of teeth he had at that age, so she's a little ahead of the curve at (almost) 10 months.

Children's Books Tuesday: I Spy Little Bunnies

2009-11-09T23:47:00.046-06:00

Rhymes by Jean Marzollo

Photographs by Walter Wick

I got this book out to take pictures of it in order to do this post, and Cooper came from nowhere and immediately started interacting with it.

Which illustrates why I'm posting it. My kids love this book!

I believe it is one in a series of I Spy books, but I specifically like this book for youngers because the pictures are not overloaded with images to look at as some of the others are, and it includes the exact picture that you are supposed to find with the words that describe it. Now that Cooper is older we take turns finding things. The boys are so tickled with themselves every time they spot the correct item. We usually end up trying to find way more than just the two or three things the pages suggest, and I like being able to spend so much time in a book together. Not too many other books hold their interest from cover to cover right now. If you read it straight through, which we rarely have done because we look for so many other things, it has a nice and simple rhyme scheme to it.

Have a book to share? Want to see some other book ideas? Head on over to Sue's bloghop.

Memory card Monday--Halloween edition

2009-11-09T12:16:00.001-06:00

In which I have palpitations

2009-11-07T17:28:00.000-06:00

. . . because I have too many unfinished, unorganized thoughts floating through my pea brain on whatever topic this is and can't get it onto the computer screen fast enough. Orrrrrrrr, it could be the roughly 6.4 gallons of Dr. Pepper I've had in the last 24 hours while trying to make it through the night shift last night. Take your pick.

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I feel like I'm on a precipice most of the time, about to dive headlong into some new and hopefully wonderful phase in life. It's at once exhilarating and exhausting. Change is my only constant. Redefined my only definition.

I had kinda hoped I'd be done with all of this by now, to be honest.

And having kids really ups the ante in my quest for self-discovery. It makes me want to establish myself as profoundly This or essentially That, so that these little people can have the unmoving foundation on which to build their own sense of self.

It's a lot of pressure, and mostly self-ascribed. In no particular order, I want my children (who we all know are an extension of myself) to be well-adjusted, polite, happy, well-behaved, cool-but-not-too-cool, educated, capable, high-functioning, contributing members of society. If they are not one or more of these things at the beginning of adulthood, I must admit I will feel as thought I personally failed them.

Yikes!

This is where I make the realization of my lack of faith in God's ability and desire to mold them into the people He would have them be. That He is infinitely more involved and engaged in their refining process than I. That He loves them first and best. That He will not forsake them, nor leave the acquisition of their person-ness solely in my fallible hands. That He, not I, is their best cheerleader. That I am but one instrument in His limitless repertoire. That He is in the business of bringing things to completion.

And this is where I breathe.

I have a tendency to pray more often for immediate and transient things, and I either forget or lose focus or become overwhelmed by the lifelong types of prayer requests. You know, the requests that are not answered this week or even this year, so my immediate-gratification-loving self quickly loses interest. Rest assured, I'm working on it.

When I think about my passions in parenting and what my legacy will be for my children, I can think of no more noble a thing than that I should petition God on my children's behalves (is that a word? the plural of behalf? hm. I think I'm just gonna go for it.) all the rest of my days. When they think back on the relationship we've had and our experiences together, I want them to be able to say, "Sure, Mom made some mistakes along the way, but I know that she loved me and I know that she prayed for me."

Winging it in the kitchen

2009-11-03T15:35:00.001-06:00

I'm not exactly a by-the-book kind of girl when it comes to cooking. Because I want to use what we have on hand and not spend hours upon hours measuring things by the fourths of teaspoons, I like to ad lib in the kitchen. And I don't know why it hasn't blown up in my face thus far, but usually my "concoctions" turn out really well or are at the very least edible.

Within the last few weeks, I've come up with two chicken dishes that were really tasty. I'm gonna share them on here so that if nothing else I have easy access to them. Let me know if you try them and/or if you make any improvements on them, as these are merely suggestions (as you'll be able to tell by the approximate measurements and my memory does not fully serve me when trying to recall that first recipe anyway). While I understand that the guy from America's Test Kitchen describes cooking as "an exacting science," and while I don't ad lib those things that really should be made following the recipe to the letter, I think we should feel confident to experiment in our kitchens and see what happens.

These dishes are similar in construct, but the tastes are varied enough that you could serve them close together and not hear too much grumbling from the peanut gallery.

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Ranch Chicken and Tater Bake

2-3 potatoes, thinly sliced into circles with skins on
approx. 1 pound skinless, boneless chicken breast fillets
1 bunch green onions, chopped
approx. 1/4 cup butter
roughly 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
1-2 cloves fresh garlic, minced
2 cups plain bread crumbs
oregano?
8 oz.+ ranch dressing
at least 1/4 cup Durkee's french fried onions
Salt and pepper to taste

Marinate chicken in ranch dressing for at least 2 hours in the refrigerator. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Lightly coat the bottom of a 2 qt. casserole dish with cooking spray. Line the dish with layers of sliced potatoes, lightly salting each layer as you go. After at least three or four layers of potatoes, sprinkle cheese evenly over the top, covering the potatoes entirely. Cut butter into equal pats and distribute in four corners. Spread chopped green onions over cheese. Add pepper to taste.

Mix bread crumbs, garlic, salt and pepper (and I think I put some oregano in here) in a bowl, then roll chicken in bread crumb mixture to coat. Place coated chicken in a single layer over the cheesy potato layers in the casserole dish. Top with french fried onions.

Cover and bake at 400 degrees for at least 40 minutes, then remove lid and bake another 10 minutes to brown the chicken. (Cook time will vary depending on thickness of your chicken breast and your oven. For best results, use a meat thermometer. Poultry should reach an internal temp of 160 degrees.)

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Toasty Provolone Chicken

3-4 slices of bread, toasted
8 slices provolone cheese
8 strips bacon, uncooked
approx. 1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breast fillets
1 bunch green onion, chopped
approx. 1 cup mushrooms, sliced
salt and pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. This dish is all about layers. In a 2 qt. casserole dish, cover the bottom with the toasted bread, then four slices of provolone, then bacon, then chicken, and then the mushrooms, green onions and salt & pepper, and finally four more slices of provolone. Bake uncovered at 350 degrees for thirty minutes. (Again, I recommend checking for doneness with a meat thermometer.)

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One final note, I mentioned a while back that I'd made my own dishwasher detergent from a recipe I found online. It costs about 65 cents per 100 loads, so it is cost effective for sure. I don't think it always works as well at getting the grime off as the store bought stuff though, to be honest with you. And I recommend using white vinegar in the rinse aid receptacle to reduce the amount of white powder residue that it causes. Here's the link if you want to give it a try. http://frugallygreen.blogspot.com/2008/06/how-to-make-your-own-dishwasher.html

Just one of those nights

2009-10-30T11:13:00.003-06:00

Someone thinks rather highly of himself around here.

This picture was just a small part of the ridiculousness that made up my night last night.

Let me begin by telling you that Ellie was up at 11:15, 2:25 and 4:44. I did not feed her that last time, and instead only changed her diaper. I think it's reasonable to think that she could sleep through the night at this age, so TWICE between midnight and six is--in this momma's opinion--a bit much. Had she continued to cry after the diaper change, I would have probably caved and fed her. Again. After having just fed her two hours previous. But, thankfully she went back to sleep. Until I got her up to take Jackson to school at 8 a.m. See? She CAN do it, she just hasn't had to do so very often.

In addition to Ella's frequent awakenings, Cooper cried out in fear at 4:30; he was able to be calmed down rather easily, so I was back in bed though still awake (and somewhat perturbed) by the time E's 4:44 interruption rolled around. I may have been gritting my teeth a little as I talked to her about how I had just fed her so she needed to go back to sleep. It makes perfect sense to middle-of-the-night-Megan to try to reason with a 3/4ths-year-old about her schedule.

Later, when the alarm clock rang out 45 minutes before I had planned to get up for the day because one of my boys had screwed with it without my knowledge yesterday, waking me for the forth time (stupidly, I didn't go to bed until after ella's 11:15 feeding) in my short night, I did not hesitate to turn it off and throw it across the room all in one surprisingly coordinated motion. Fortunately, I use a travel alarm clock, so the walls were relatively unscathed in the ordeal.

Now for those keeping track of the score at home, Megan-1 and Alarm clock-0, you realize what my sleep-deprived self earlier this morning did not--I now had no alarm set to get me up at the Megan-approved (albeit still begrudgingly so as I am by no means a morning person) time of 7:15. My younger kids are often awake by then anyway, so I'm usually up because of them. UNLESS they have been awake in the night, and then they unabashedly sleep through the proper wake-up time. And Jackson could probably sleep until noon every day of the week, if given the chance, so he was no help either.

It wasn't until 7:43 that I sat bolt upright in bed, uttered a "crap" to no one in particular, and began the get-ready-for-school routine. Which for today, for added fun, included a dinosaur costume.

Now for something completely different

2009-10-27T13:47:00.003-06:00

A post about my kids. Shocking, I know.

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Four months. That's how long it has been since my daughter had a seizure. That makes me wanna do a happy dance. Jiggity jig. That's the easy answer to the question about how Ella is doing. If you want to focus on things like development or long-term prognosis it requires no less than ten minutes of your time and an internet connection to better assist me in diagramming the brain (just ask Sara who asked about Ellie last night--thanks, my friend, for wanting to understand the full picture). I jest. Mostly.

It's complicated though. I have adopted the phrase, "she's doing great, considering. . ." and then I trail off. Because we have been to the brink and know how devastating infantile spasms can be, but it's hard to paint that picture for anyone else who is removed from the situation. I really don't want to be overly dramatic or doomy and gloomy about it. But without showing people just how catastrophic IS can be, they don't have context for understanding how well Ellie is really doing.

Even so, I've learned that other folks just want the cliff's notes version, and that's okay too; sometimes it's enough just to say, "Yep, she's doing great--4 months without seizures. Thank you for praying." and leave it at that.

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Cooper went to the dentist for the first time today. He did really well, and I am completely proud of him. I know that I'm not objective in the least when it comes to my kids, but I kinda think he makes a really good impression on other people--like his zeal for life rubs off on them and brightens their day. I could be wrong (and again COMPLETELY biased), but I think people remember interacting with him. I just love watching him work the room; it's something to behold, that's for sure.

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Jackson continues to be a little sponge, soaking up as much information as possible. His thirst for knowledge is unquenchable (is that a word? i typed it and now i'm all unsure about it). He asks about God and the world and how babies get into mommies' tummies (yeah, pretty much asked about sex the other day) and so many other things and has this amazing empathy for others all of a sudden. Like he can understand that other people experience things differently than he does and that their lives are separate from his. I don't have a sophisticated enough vocabulary to explain it unfortunately, but it's like a switch came on and he can take ideas and run with them to predict future occurrences. He asks a. lot. of questions, but they are such intelligent ones that I am really enjoying the conversations that come from answering them. So neat to see the world through his eyes. I really hope I can continue to choose to answer them honestly and not grow fatigued by the sheer frequently and quantity of them.

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Let's try not to psycho-analyze my choice to put the following news to the bottom of a lengthy post about my kids too much, but I would be remiss if I did not mention that today is our eighth wedding anniversary. God has been faithful to us, and we are so blessed. I love you, Chris! Thanks for walking through this life with me. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Awareness

2009-10-21T14:45:00.004-05:00

OCTOBER 11TH-17TH
Providing pediatricians, child neurologists, parents and caregivers with objective educational tools which will increase the understanding of IS.
Click Here to Learn More

Apparently, there was a big pediatric neurology conference in Kentucky last week, and to coincide with that some folks with the Child Neurology Foundation designated it as the first annual Infantile Spasms Awareness Week.

There's some controversy surrounding all this (if you're interested you can go here and here to read about it) namely because it is sponsored by Questcor, the company that makes ACTH--which as most of you know is one of the frontline treatments for infantile spasms.

I'm certainly not one to buck the system, any system for that matter, but I am puzzled by all of this.

Here are my thoughts: for one, we're talking about a pediatric neurology conference, no? Well, I would hope that neurologists, especially of the pediatric variety, would already be aware of infantile spasms. Sure, it is a rare disease, but I've read somewhere that it accounts for nearly 75% of all cases of epilepsy in the first year of life. Based on that, I'm pretty sure they know what it is (if not, that's incredibly scary), so this seems to me to be an instance of preaching to the choir. Wouldn't the effort be better spent in educating pediatricians (as the above mission statement seems to suggest is one of the goals), who are usually the first practitioners that see these very special children? A quick powerpoint lecture entitled "Infantile Spasms: not just another case of reflux" in peds residency programs would go a long way I should think.

For two: even in my brief time of studying IS, I've come across not one but two frontline medications used to treat it. ACTH, which "worked" for Ella as far as we know, and vigabatrin. So, it seems to me that an awareness week sponsored by only one of the drug manufacturers could have quite a slant to it. (I've read as much in other places (can't find the links now, sorry), that the awareness folks are claiming that use of vigabatrin is only indicated in cases of IS caused by tuberous sclerosis and not the greater IS population at large.)

For three: What exactly is the goal of this awareness week then? To educate whom? And about what?

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We were fortunate in Ella's case to receive a relatively early diagnosis and subsequent treatment, but even so I have some frustration about how those early days went. After we went to the ER, our pediatrician, bless him, immediately assumed that he was observing infantile spasms in our girl only to be overruled via phone by the neurologist from Children's. Therefore, Ella spent two weeks on phenobarbital (usually not very effective in IS but at least decreased the frequency of her spasms and ended their clustering) while waiting for an outpatient EEG, when really she should have been sent straight to Children's to undergo that testing and be started on ACTH immediately. If Ella were still suffering from spasms at this point, I would blame this delay entirely.

So, there's definitely a need for awareness. I just think the scope needs to be larger and more well-defined. I do understand that this is the first year for this campaign, and so I am hopeful that it will gel in future years. And hey at least we got a fancy website out of the deal.

And because I couldn't put it better myself, I'd like to share some thoughts about this awareness week from Sinead, a fellow IS parent whose 2.5 year old daughter was diagnosed with infantile spasms at the beginning of this year after a prolonged history of seizures.

"What do I want from IS awareness week?

No parent should ever have to diagnose their child on YouTube

No parent should be told that their IS child just has colic, reflux or a delayed startle reflex.

No parents should be offered the choice between keppra and depakote as the first treatment

Neurologists should put out an agreed statement on treatment protocol

IS should be brought to the attention of pediatricians, nurses and nurse practitioners as an emergency condition that it is valid to refer a child to the ER with.

EI therapists should have a pool of information on the best way and the best intensity to treat children and help them close the gaps."

Cuteness to start your week off right

2009-10-19T11:00:00.000-05:00

Photo shoot

2009-10-16T10:59:00.001-05:00

This is how attempts at taking pictures usually go in our house.

Not bad

Going

Just about gone

And these are just included for cuteness.

This little girl turned nine months old yesterday.

I can't imagine our life without her.

You are loved, LaLa!

Deep questions

2009-10-14T23:11:00.009-05:00

Earlier tonight, Jackson brought me into the middle of his ponderings. I don't have as much context for them as I did before he started school, so it's hard to know where he's coming from. "Mom, the earth is spinning, right?" I replied, "Yes. (trying to anticipate his next question--if you're around him enough you learn to do this) Very slowly though. We can't really feel it." He followed with, "What would happen if the earth stopped spinning?" (pausing to gather my thoughts, wind nearly knocked out of me) "Welllllll, I think that would be very bad for life as we know it." (wait for it) He: "Why?" (ah, there it is) Me: "Well, for one thing, we either would never see the sun or we would always see the sun, depending on what side we were on. And I think both situations would be really bad for all the plants and trees." And then we went on to discuss how much all living things rely on plants to live.

This was not the first but the second conversation we've had about how plants "work" this week. Which reminds me, does anyone have their 8th grade life science book still lying around? 'Cause it looks like I've got some brushing up to do. Waaaaay earlier than I thought I would need to do so. And I'm sure that this spinning has a lot to do with the weather too, so perhaps I should read Michael Crichton's offering on the chaos theory in Jurassic Park again. . .. My little pea brain almost explodes to try to think of every thing else that relies on Earth's rotations.

Ooo, looky, I just wikipedia'd it:

Physical effects

The velocity of the rotation of Earth has had various effects over time, including the Earth's shape (an oblate spheroid), climate, ocean depth and currents, and tectonic forces.

Now you can join me in my exploding-brain state.

As I see the world through my four year old's eyes, I revisit a wonderment that I've rarely felt since entering adulthood--Louie Giglio videos aside (the parts about the pale blue dot and the bella pulsar stick out for me in this segment but his entire Indescribable talk is amazing). I am completely geeking out that the earth rotates y'all. And not just that, but that it does it in such a regular manner that you can (nearly) set time constants by it (adjusting for tidal fluctuations and all of course. Incidentally, what did we do before the internet? I mean seriously). This is an awesome Creator we're talking about here.

Nehemiah 9:6
You alone are the LORD. You made the heavens, even the highest heavens, and all their starry host, the earth and all that is on it, the seas and all that is in them. You give life to everything, and the multitudes of heaven worship you.

Isaiah 40:12
Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens? Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket, or weighed the mountains on the scales and the hills in a balance?

On kissing and mediating

2009-10-12T23:33:00.000-05:00

Jackson told me the other day that he didn't want to kiss me because he was afraid he'd turn into a girl. Fortunately, it was a short-lived fear because he has already kissed me several times since then. But last week, I realized that he's now too embarrassed to kiss his brother before going into his classroom in the morning. I thought I got at least another year or two before he became too cool for school. le sigh. Poor Cooper doesn't understand and gets his feelings hurt, so there I am stuck between wanting to protect my pre-kindergartener's street cred and trying to keep my little guy from having his heart broken. I think I'm starting to see why my parents (all parents everywhere it seems) adopt the mantra of "work it out among yourselves." There really is no right answer sometimes.

In which I brag about my eldest

2009-10-07T01:15:00.001-05:00

I tell you what, I couldn't be more pleased with Jackson's school experience thus far. I am repeatedly reminded of what a blessing it is for him to be able to participate in such a program.

We had parent-teacher conferences last week, and I was excited to learn that Jackson is right on track in most areas. In some, he needs some more practice. So now, we're finding creative ways to incorporate such practice. He and I have been playing an ongoing rhyming game since then, for example. He seems to be getting the hang of it, but it's a pretty hard concept to grasp so we press on. It turns out that not as many words rhyme as I initially thought. Hm. So now we're focusing on "short words." :)

Jackson's really funny, mostly without trying to be. His stories and explanations are a trip. I love how his mind works. Lately, he's been telling me about his brain and all that it wants him to do. He'll say things like, "My brain wanted me to do [that], so I did it." Or, "My brain taught me that."

He is so observant. He notices changes that no one else does. He remembers everything. This means you gotta be on your toes and remember everything too. He asks a bajillion questions every day; I used to think that it was just typical four-year-old stuff, but his teacher and several others tell me his questions are more ubiquitous than most. I'm really glad he is so interested in how the world/everything works, but I have to take a break every now and then. "Buddy, I love your questions, but mommy needs to take a break for a few minutes, okay?" "Okay." Then he pauses for point four seconds and jumps right back in.

But the real reason I'm posting about Jackson in the wee hours of the morning is that I wanted to share some of his recent artwork with you. The kid could make a momma absolutely burst with pride.

Self portrait.

Family portrait.

Children's Books Tuesday: Guess How Much I Love You

2009-10-06T22:22:00.002-05:00

Have we noticed a theme yet, kids? Yeah, I kinda like the books that talk about lovin' my lovelies. And they do too. Especially the ones that we can act out together. Guess How Much I Love You by Sam McBratney meets both criteria.

If you were to visit our house during a reading of this book, you just might witness some of us jumping as high as we can jump or laying down on the floor with our feet in the air or some other type of serious silliness. This book gives us much to giggle about and much to hug about. It is a quick, sweet read.

In the story, Little Nutbrown Hare tries to quantify his love for Big Nutbrown Hare, but he quickly realizes that Big Nutbrown Hare's love is just as big if not bigger. Reminds me of our relationship with God.

The last page is just awesome.

It ends with: "I love you right up to the moon--and back."

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Hop on over to Sue's blog and check out some other great children's books!

Getting away is a great thing!

2009-10-05T12:08:00.001-05:00

Chris and I drove to Dallas this weekend to watch the Razorbacks play in Cowboys Stadium. By. our.selves. Yes we did, and it was glorious. And our Hogs won, which makes it infinitely sweeter.

Our parents took such great care of our babies and the dog. We are so grateful to have this opportunity and much-needed chance to get away for a few days.

I missed our kids, but it wasn't as hard for me to be away from them as I feared it might be. Really, the only problem and the biggest hassle for me was finding time and place to pump all weekend and then storing the milk afterward. I even pumped before kickoff at the game. I can't prove it, but I may be the first lady to pump while standing in a bathroom stall at the brand spanking new stadium. I'm sure they probably have some kind of room set up for nursing mothers, but I didn't want to take the time to find it. As it was, because we were in handicapped seating, it was quite a feat just to get to our seats, so it was enough just to find a bathroom even remotely nearby. It was funny because Chris thought I might want to pump right in our seats so as to not to miss any of the action and wondered if I brought my nursing cover to do so. I told him not a chance. I already knew that this wasn't feasible especially since we were front and center in our section, but he didn't really get why I wouldn't want to do this until he saw our seats in person. We had a good laugh at me trying to be discreet in the middle of everything. Heck, we made it on the big screen twice from there! Of course, I wouldn't have been the only one to flash the big screen that day, had I been so inclined to pump in my seat. Apparently, there was a "wardrobe malfunction" for one poor A&M fan that happened to occur the very moment that she was being broadcast to the entire crowd of 70,000 plus. What are the odds?!

We saw the very inner-workings of the stadium as we wheeled to our seats. Saw the club where the Cowboys run through to get to the field. Rode the elevator with the Razorback mascot and a handful of cheerleaders. Saw Jerry Jones in his element. So many stories. So many laughs. Such good times.

Here are some pictures from our trip:

Must-have baby items (take 2)

2009-10-02T08:47:00.002-05:00

I'm reposting this to participate in Kelly's Show Us Your Life bloghop. It's still so true for us with Ellie as it was with Cooper and Jackson, and I've updated it where necessary.

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Ahhhh, baby products. It's funny how many of my conversations these days are on this very subject. I feel like I've become quite the expert in the last four years and seven plus months. Namely, I talk about my Ergo a lot. I wish I had a dollar for every time a mom has approached me when I'm out and about to ask me what kind of baby carrier I was using; even our (male) pediatrician took a moment to inquire once. In general though, I'm pretty passionate about all baby stuff--what works, what doesn't, what you shouldn't leave the house without. And I can pack a mean diaper bag! Let's just say you only have to pack an empty wipes box or forget to bring diapers once, and you'll never do it again.

Below are some comments I shared on friends' blogs about the same subject.

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okay, i have some thoughts on this subject, but let me just say that you will come to learn what works for you and what doesn’t, and it’s just a little different for every family.

Things I personally wouldn’t go without: two diaper bags–a small one for just running out the door for a couple of hours and a larger one for longer (or overnight) trips/leave with the grandparents when they babysit kind of thing. I didn’t learn this until baby number two, but it has been a huge help! Medicine: I always carry a bottle of tylenol infant drops because ya never know when teething or fever will be an issue (but you can almost bet you won’t be at home or near a wal-mart when it is). Diaper cream: good to have with you, but not necessary with every diaper change (yay!). We just use it when one of the boys has reddened skin on their bottoms. A baby carrier (like one that you wear): again, something that I didn’t find until the second child, but I use our Ergo carrier almost every day, especially when I go grocery shopping or to church. I recommend the Ergo specifically, or if you feel the price is a little steep (which is understandable), some kind of sling-type carrier. I would steer clear of baby bjorns or the snuggli type carriers because they put the baby weight on your shoulders and you tire quickly. I don’t know how the slings work, but they seem to be versatile enough to accomodate several different carrying positions and so is the Ergo. We have a stroller too, and it is very useful to us. But the baby sling/carrier is nice for those times when you need to get in between aisles or are already going to be pushing something (like a grocery cart). They are also nice when you need to see to some housework but the baby wants nothing else but to be held. A little wipes box: about an inch thick, it can hold about 20 wipes or so, and I NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT! I really don’t know what I did before having one :). Diapers: all disposable diapers are about the same really. I usually get whatever is on sale, though I prefer pampers swaddlers best. I like the kinds that have stretchy tabs because they seem to fit better and leak less. Diaper pails: I agree with the above comment about diaper genies. We have a diaper champ (target carries them), but we still keep it in the garage because it just doesn’t keep the stink in. Often I just use wal-mart sacks and a regular trash can too, still out in the garage of course. I’m for changing tables, or at least some kind of flat surface that is closer to waist-height. It’s much easier to change a diaper if you’re not all hunched over. Infant car seats: I like the ones that double as a carrier, but if you have big babies you can only use them for about 6 months or so before they outgrow them. This is something that would be good to borrow. Otherwise, a convertible carseat that accomodates children 5 to 100 pounds is a good investment and is useful for many years. Clothes: onesies for around the house, pants over the onesies to go out, and footy PJs to sleep is how we roll for boy babies. I go a little fancy with Ellie when we go out just because it's so much fun. Shoes are not really necessary until walking (socks are just fine for keeping toesies warm), but if you can find a cute cheap pair they are nice as accessories.
Okay, now, about baby equipment: high chair, bumbo seat, boppy pillow, vibrating bouncy seat, swing, exersaucer, and the baby gym mat all have proven to get lots of use in our house. But most, if not all, of these things were gifts. I think the high chair is a neccessity and all the other things are luxury. However, I do recommend at least one piece of equipment to put the baby in where you can have your hands free but be nearby (again, housework and, gasp, eating can be accomplished this way). And of course we have a crib. The first few months, though, all our kids stayed in a little bassinet next to our bed when they were nursing so frequently. It’s nice to have a little travel crib like that too so you can, well, travel with it.

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here’s my two cents (well, more like two dollars):
on the nursing bra thing, whatever brand you get, avoid the hook and eye closure at the top!! You pretty much have to use two hands to fasten them and if you’re nursing a baby, you never have more than one hand free (if that!). I discovered the tank nursing bra (thanks, Aim!) with my third, and it makes nursing in public SO much easier because you are so much more covered.
on bottles, we use avent and like them quite well. they are wide-mouthed, though, and are not compatible with most breast pumps. this is not a problem for me because i use and love the avent isis hand pump (the one with the “comfort petals”–don’t knock it ’til ya try it!). i think i’d like to have some of those playtex ventaire bottles for trips because they seem like they would work better when my baby is sitting upright in the carseat, as opposed to being reclined. when i work, i use my electric pump–medela is by far the best on the market (and is the brand all hospitals use). if you need electric, i have the pump-and-go model by medela, and i recommend spending the extra money to get the “backpack” version that has the zippers. i’m in my thirtieth month of pumping and the cheaper bag with the velcro has long since given out!

other things to take to the hospital: for mom-to-be, take a robe and slippers. you won’t feel like wearing street clothes at first but you’ll want to be more “dressed” than those hospital gowns allow for. and do take maternity pants to wear home. you will have lost some of your baby weight, but your body is not ready for pre-pregnancy jeans just yet! :) you'll still look 4-5 months pregnant afterward. for the baby, i like to take a little stuffed animal or lovie blanket to keep in the hospital bassinet with the baby; that way when great-aunt bessie is looking at all the bundles helplessly unknowing of who to coo at, you can tell her that your baby is the one with the pink bunny (or whatever). i also recommend taking a pair of baby nail clippers. their little nails grow in the womb. both my boys drew blood when they scratched their faces within hours of being born!

and that reminds me: both my boys and my girl LOVE their lovies. i had no idea what they were with my first (and if you don’t know: they are little silky squares of blanket, some have a flat stuffed animal look). i just happened to have purchased one in the crib set i got at a garage sale. i decided to try it out one day after my older son had been in the world a few months, and he took to it right away. he’s gonna be three in march and still takes it when he sleeps or needs some extra comfort during stressful situations (like the mother’s day out drop in the mornings :).

and just to reiterate silly me's points:
paci to the hospital–yes, yes, yes. we found the first years soothie brand (at walmart) with our second and he LOVES them. mam is a good choice too, and they make a great paci clip–this is a must have when you go anywhere because the babies do not keep them in their mouths (and fuss at YOU about it) but at least with the clip it’s not falling on the floor a bajillion times.
smaller than you think outfit to the hospital–again yes! and you’ll want it for the hospital pictures too. if you have a special blanket, bring it as well because they can use it as the backdrop of the photo.
the onesies brand DOES stretch more than others, and the material is thinner. not my favorite, but i use them as undergarments when layering and that works pretty well.
ergo carrier–i use it everyday! a friend who saw me in wal-mart once said that she didn’t remember what i looked like without it.

Children's Books Tuesday: I Like You

2009-09-29T18:35:00.004-05:00

I Like You by Sandol Stoddard Warburg

Another oldie this week, this time from 1965. Ours is a well-worn copy, but I only just introduced our boys to it a few weeks ago. Despite its small-ish look, it actually takes a while to read--especially if you have inquisitive little guys who ask questions about every picture.

This book was given to me by my college boyfriend on Valentine's Day in 1999. Then later that summer, he went out of the country to do mission work for a year and a half, and this book was one of the few physical reminders of him that I had to hold on to. I even brought it with me to India on a mission trip I took two years later. And within a couple of months of my returning to the States, that boy married me. I'm not saying that this book is responsible, but it may or may not have been a contributing factor.

This is one of my favorite pages. It's hard to see, but it says,

"And I like you because

If we go away together

And if we are in Grand Central Station

And if I get lost

Then you are the one that is yelling for me"

This really resonates with me and reminds me of the passage in the Bible where Jesus talks about leaving the ninety-nine sheep behind to search for the one that is lost.

Again, one of my favorites and again hard to read, it says,

"I would go on choosing you

And you would go on choosing me

Over and over again

That's how it would happen every time

I don't know why"

I'm looking forward to reading this to the kids again in the future. I am pretty partial to it.

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If you have a post to share or if you want to see more children's book ideas, head on over the bloghop at Sue's blog!

Cause to celebrate

2009-09-26T09:47:00.002-05:00

EDITED TO ADD: It's probably a little confusing to post about how good Ella is doing right after two posts talking about trying to wrap my brain around her potentially being a "special needs child." I'm sorry about that. I'm not trying to toy with your emotions. Truly. For one, there's not an easy answer to how Ella is doing. Not having seizures and making strides in development both have predictive value, but no one can tell us in any certain terms how our daughter will turn out in the long run. Or to mix some metaphors, she's dodged some major bullets, but we're still not out of the woods. It's like watching a very slow pot of water come to a boil. For two, my emotions and thoughts are all over the place. I think I've said before that there are days where I think she'll be perfectly normal and others where I am really pessimistic about any normalcy for her. So sometimes my blog posts will reflect that. Just keeping it real. And just demonstrating how much I need a Savior that does not move even in the midst of uncertain circumstances.

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Ella says, "It's been three months since my last seizure!"

This girl is such a character these days!! She is so smiley and squeal-y it threatens to make my heart burst. I mean, get a load of that face! She is such a happy baby, and she absolutely adores her brothers--which is good 'cause they're not going anywhere for at least another fourteen years or so. She LURVES to snuggle and has the most wonderful reactions to getting tickled.

She's getting really strong. She can sit unassisted for several moments at a time now, and she is doing so much better at not slumping to one side like when she sits in the high chair. When she's on her tummy, she often gets up on her elbows and knees and rocks back and forth repeatedly; I've even observed her pushing herself forward from that position a few times. I don't know how long it will take her, but I believe she's gonna be crawling next. She can also bear most of her weight while standing assisted now, whereas before it was like trying to balance a bag of rice on its end.

Seizure-wise, as I said above, it has been three months without seizures. My optimism grows with each passing month and for good reason. Though it is not readily agreed upon in the neurological community (as is often the case with infantile spasms I've learned) three months is considered a first major benchmark. I've even heard of one neurologist saying that if you can make to 3 months, you'll probably make it to 6 months, and if you make to 6 months then a year is likely within grasp. Awesome! And if she can make it at least a year without seizures, she might get to be trial-weaned from her last anti-seizure medication altogether. Woo to the hoo!

In financial news, we learned this week that Ella application for TEFRA medicaid was approved. When I called Chris at his work immediately after getting the notice in the mail, he may or may not have made a scene in the bank with his enthusiastic response. I'm pretty excited myself actually. Right away, I started calling about all of her medical bills and asking that the claims be refiled. Since we've already been paying on them, we are looking at some reimbursements coming our way soon. What an incredible answer to prayer! Thank you to everyone who joined us in praying for this assistance.

Finally, Ella has three teeth now. After an adjustment period, wherein she bit me at least five times while nursing, we both are doing just fine with these developments. I offer the following as photographic proof of her new pearly whites.

Welcome to Holland

2009-09-25T08:39:00.002-05:00

I happened upon this essay in the first few days after we came home with a diagnosis for Ella. It is an excellent read for anyone walking the path of having a special needs child or trying to understand someone who is.

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WELCOME TO HOLLAND

by
Emily Perl Kingsley.

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Common Ground

2009-09-24T11:35:00.001-05:00

Because of my Ella and our crazy summer, I've spent a lot of time thinking about what it would mean for us to have a daughter with special needs, persistent developmental delays, a handicap or whatever you want to call it. (Not to be a broken record, but we still don't know what her future holds; we're hoping for the best while trying to prepare for the worst. God, grant us wisdom and grace.)

I've thought a lot about the time before we knew anything was wrong, how even the simplest of things brings on a new wave of grief as I struggle to embrace this new (potential) reality we find ourselves in. (The tears don't flow quite as freely now, but it's certainly a process--more of a marathon than a sprint.) I have come to the conclusion that I am not alone in feeling this way. That there was likely a time for every special needs family, a time forever known as Before--before the tests, the scans, a diagnosis--when the hope grew with an ever expanding belly and plans were made that didn't include durable medical equipment and frequent doctor visits.

I've had opportunity to understand this sooner, but sometimes full knowledge is only gleaned through experience.

Opportunity in my own family even. My grandmother is one of the strongest people I know. Until recently, when a series of devastating strokes took much of her physical ability away, she was my handicapped uncle's primary caregiver for more than fifty years. To me, that's the way it has always been. But not to my grandma. For her, there was a time when having a handicapped son was not her lot in life. And you might think that perhaps half a century's worth of time would be enough to forget the grief and the what-might-have-beens, but it would not seem that way. She and I only spoke about that season surrounding Arthur's birth (wherein he suffered from erythroblastosis fetalis, also known as Rh factor incompatibility) once, but it is a vivid memory for me; and even in my adolescence I could appreciate the very palpable and raw emotions just under the surface in the telling of her story.

And yet another opportunity to understand. When my husband was born, he was two and a half months early and suffered a brain injury when he stopped breathing soon after birth. I had heard snippets of his story along the way, but I knew there must be more. Ella's condition has given me boldness to ask about what I might otherwise shy away from. One afternoon last month, I asked my mother-in-law about the circumstances of Chris' birth. You wouldn't know that she was describing events from more than thirty years ago; the fear, the questioning, the unknowns--these are things you never forget.

Children's Books Tuesday #2

2009-09-22T11:09:00.001-05:00

Last week, I wrote about my boys' current favorite book. This week, I think I'll show you Jackson's first book love . It's an oldie but a goodie.

First published in 1940, Dorothy Kunhardt's Pat the Bunny is a timeless interactive book that engages all five senses when read aloud. Yes, even smell!

We could read this over and over again (and we do). It is a perennial favorite in our house. And as these things tend to go, my oldest now "reads" it to the littles by himself. Ahhh, the bittersweet passage of time!

Well, that's all. Bye-bye. Can you say Bye-bye?

Do you have a children's book to share? Hop on over to Suzanne's blog and link it up!

Recent pictures and more

2009-09-17T23:32:00.005-05:00

More and more frequently, I happen upon my youngers having a sweet interaction. It would be hard to say who is more smitten with whom.

Jackson asked me to take a picture of him in his "hat." I'm happy to oblige.

Bedtime has continued to be a problem (though tonight was better; I'll get to that in a minute), but this morning I found my boys like this. Which kinda reinforces our decision to have them room together. They really are best friends. Who happen to call each other "poopy diapers" every now and then.

I decided that since Ella will be going to mother's day out this school year and therefore will be in the care of others, she should have a medic alert bracelet stating seizures just as a precaution. I was determined to find one that was dainty and feminine but durable, and I really like what I found. It came in the mail on Wednesday and fits perfectly.

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Tonight for bedtime, I borrowed a page from my friend Sue's playbook. I named Cooper "boss" and let him stay up later than Jackson for once. It worked like a dream, pun intended, and saved me from having to say "get back in bed" fifty bajillion times. Tomorrow night, it's Jackson's turn to be boss, and I hope we have similar results.

I kept Jackson home from school today because last night he was having some frequent stools (i'm trying not to gross out my father-in-law, so i'm using nurse-speak). By this morning I was pretty sure that it had passed, but just in case I wanted him nearby so I could watch him closely. Plus, it just seems like a good idea to not take him to school when he's potentially infectious. We ended up having a nice day together; it's rare that I get any extended one-on-one time with Jackson. At one point, I took him to the bank where Chris works because he needed to change out his insulin pump site and needed his supplies. And wouldn't you know, one of the parents of a boy in Jackson's class drove into the parking lot as we were leaving. BUSTED! At least, I'm sure that's what it looked like. I tried to explain myself, but I'm afraid I might have come across as trying too hard. Oh well, I know it was a good decision, so I guess I don't have to prove myself to anyone else.

I've been on a cooking kick lately. Again don't tell Chris, but being on a more structured schedule for the school year has really gotten me in a groove for taking care of things at home. I've slowly built my kitchen staples back up over the last few trips to the grocery store; it's so nice to have everything I need to make a complete meal again. Last night, I made an orange barbecue pork loin dish and a yummy baked potato casserole (made up the easy recipes for both as I went along) served with pre-made yeast rolls. And tonight, I tried a new to me recipe for chicken fried steak and gravy. My family would be proud of me; not only did I MAKE a gravy, but I actually ate it too. :) There's nothing better than a home-cooked meal; I just wish my maid weren't slacking so much lately 'cause with all this cooking the kitchen really needs some attention. :)

In other, since-when-did-Megan-become-such-a-Suzy-homemaker news, I've been experimenting with making our own baby food, and so far Ella has enjoyed everything I've offered her. In fact, I'm pretty sure I've ruined her for jarred bananas, unfortunately. (Incidentally, I've noticed that she is more keen on veggies than fruits. I have no idea how that happened, but she certainly didn't get that from me.) I've also made a batch of dishwasher detergent, and it seems to work pretty well in my opinion. Let me know if you want the recipe. Lastly, I have all the ingredients to make my own laundry detergent minus the 5-gallon bucket needed to mix it in. I'll let you know how that one goes.

A final anecdote: while searching for detergent recipes online, I recalled more than one person recommending the Duggars' website. I found the recipes I was looking for, but I also happened upon this link there. (I'm really not a jerk, I swear, but I literally laughed out loud at the pictures; perhaps it was the inclusion of the kite string winder that got me, I'm just not sure.)

8 months and a doctor's appointment

2009-09-15T16:42:00.006-05:00

Ella is eight months old today. Here are some recent pictures of my smiley girl.

I took Ella to the pediatrician's office today because she has The Crud (coughing, congestion, nasal drainage) like both Chris and I do. Fortunately, she has not had a fever, but I wanted to get her checked out sooner than later. Glad I did because she has an ear infection. You wouldn't know it by her demeanor--she hasn't fussed more than usual or anything.

This doctor didn't know her history, so I gave him the reader's digest version. He said he had not seen infantile spasms that often but that Ella was doing far better than any of his previous I.S. patients had. I told him that we have a lot of hope for her, and he agreed that we should.

I mentioned that she was having trouble eating from a bottle for the last month or so and that she still has the tongue-thrust motion that makes spoon feeding difficult (she still consumes a full serving and more in one sitting, but I think it takes longer than it should). I asked if a speech therapy evaluation might be appropriate. He said that it couldn't hurt, and perhaps even occupational therapy as well, and that he'd write it in his notes. I guess I should have been more pointed to say that I'd actually like a referral, like in my hand. I think I'll just go through our neurologist for that now. One thing that stuck out to me in our interaction was that he thought just by looking at her that Ella seems to be about two months behind developmentally, which made me think, "Is it that obvious?" He explained that perhaps this delay is keeping her from being on task with eating as well.

At least she continues to nurse really well, but there are occasions when I'm not with her where it is really important that she be able to eat from a bottle. Like at Mother's Day Out or one day a week when I work. And then there's a weekend trip that Chris and I have planned next month that we are hoping to make without our children. For two nights. Straight. So yeah, it'd be really good if she could re-master bottle feeding. For now, the doctor has approved my method of thickening her milk with cereal and putting a slit in the nipple with a scalpel. He said to just watch her closely to make sure she does not get choked. I tried it once, and so far, so good.

Children's books BlogHop

2009-09-15T13:08:00.006-05:00

My friend Suzanne is hosting a BlogHop today, and I think it might become a regular thing if enough people join in.

So this is my offering.

I have chosen a recent favorite of my boys. I think we've only had it a few months. At first glance, I didn't think it would have such an impact on them, but they are completely enthralled every time. We act it out, and get excited, and some of us pretty much have it memorized. It's the first book that I remember Jackson "reading" to me. He uses the pictures to help him get at the context, remembers the story in general, and has incredible letter recognition. The boy is amazing! And Cooper gets in on the act too. He really only knows a couple parts of the book by memory, but he too uses the pictures and says the dialog in the right places. We read it at bedtime, though I question the wisdom in that because this book gets 'em a bit riled up instead of calming them down. But that's alright. We all just love this book and highly recommend it.

I LOVE MY NEW TOY!

Written and illustrated by Mo Willems
(author of Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus!)