Hello, my name is Viviane, and I am a Barbara Carrellas groupie.  I first spotted Barbara Carrellas striding across the dining room during my first Dark Odyssey Summer Camp, in 2006.  I wondered “who is that person with the blond hair with pink streaks? Those huge glasses? I have taken any number of classes with her over the years. One was a erogenous massage class where we breathed and shook along with the demo bottom, as she held, and released, held, and orgasmed. In another, I was in yab yum with a partner (him cross-legged on the bottom, me on top with my legs around him)  – we breathed together as I pulled clothes pins off him. It’s pretty difficult to put into words these transformative classes, which is why I’m delighted that she has written Ecstasy is Necessary: A Practical Guide, so she can share this work with a wider audience.

In this book, she teaches us how to discover, nurture, expand, and embrace our  authentic, ever-evolving, sensual, sexual self (from the Amazon.com page):

Everyone goes through different phases of sexual expression and desire, and there are an infinite number of erotic and ecstatic possibilities available at all points along the way. The insights readers will gain in their journey with Carrellas will help them confidently approach sex and relationships in a way that works for them no matter where they are in their sexual evolution. They will get tools for solving the inevitable challenges that arise. They’ll even receive permission not to have sex at all, if that’s what’s right for them, because it is possible to create ecstatic experiences even when sex itself is not possible, available, or appropriate.

Using stories and simple exercises, Carrellas helps readers understand how they are wired for sex and relationships, what their personal warning signs look like, and what they need for optimum care. Plus, they’ll learn how to effectively communicate this information to others so that they can be loved more easily and effectively.

As readers discover their authentic sexual selves, they will learn how to create the conditions that allow more and more of their experiences and relationships to be opportunities for—and invitations to—ecstasy.

On March 3rd, she’s also going to be teaching  a new workshop based on the book: Ecstasy is Necessary: A Tantric Approach to Life and Love. Unlike the classes Barbara teaches at national events, this is a full day event, and shouldn’t be missed.

Barbara first learned how to have an breath and energy orgasm in the late 1980s during the AIDS crisis. Here’s an excerpt from the book about that experience:

A woman named Jwala facilitated the small workshop in which I had my first breath and energy orgasm. Jwala, whose name means Love Fire, would soon become my first Tantric teacher. I met her the way I met a lot of my teachers in that period-she had come to the Healing Circle as a guest speaker. Jwala was the ultimate hippie. She had no permanent home. She spent a great deal of time studying with her gurus in India. She was not like any spiritual seeker I had ever met. She was as sexual as she was mystical. Although in her that combination seemed natural and easy, I was initially skeptical. Something deep in my ex-Catholic background and career-driven New York personality bristled at her intense dedication to freedom, sexuality and spirituality. I was envious of how happy she seemed. But Jwala was generously willing to teach me everything she knew, and the first was how to have a breath and energy orgasm.

We all sat in a circle on the floor as Jwala explained how the technique worked. “With each breath,” she said “imagine filling up each of your chakras-the seven major energy centers of the body-with energy.” To demonstrate, Jwala lay on her back in the center of the circle and began to breathe. We watched her use her breath and imagination to pull energy from the earth into her body. She began with the first chakra (perineum), and moved up, chakra by chakra. Within a few minutes she was laughing and vibrating and writhing around on the floor. It was one of the juiciest and most joyous orgasms I had ever seen. And then it was our turn.

Jwala offered instructions in the form of a guided meditation. It wasn’t sexual at all and at first I didn’t feel anything. But I heard Jwala say, “Don’t worry, just keep breathing,” so I did. I imagined pulling energy up, chakra by chakra. By the time the energy reached my heart, I felt a tingling in my arms that started to spread into my chest and down my legs. I began to giggle. I felt like I’d like been picked up by a huge wave that got taller and stronger with each breath. I discovered that all I had to do to stay on the wave was keep breathing. Jwala was still guiding us up the chakras but I was in freestyle. I laughed hysterically. I cried in big gulping sobs. I tingled all over. It felt like lightning bolts were shooting out my fingers. I felt like I was being animated by the gods. And it went on and on and on.

How could I not have known this existed? Why didn’t everyone know how to do this? This ecstasy is what I imagined that sex could be-but seldom, if ever, was. And, oddly enough, this breath and energy orgasm had happened in every nook and cranny of my body except my genitals.

This ecstatic experience went far beyond pleasure. It was a profoundly transformative event that took me through all my emotions (including a few I hadn’t met before). It was like body surfing in a whirlpool at the convergence of rivers named Emotion, Intuition, Mysticism, and Sex.

I was hooked.  Breath and energy orgasms became the foundation of my personal erotic practice and the cornerstone on which I later built a career as a workshop facilitator and author. 

You can see who else is participating at: http://ecstasyisnecessary.com/book-tour. Happy reading!

With the promise of a new season right around the corner, join us as we welcome new faces, new voices (and a couple of alums!) to Ravenous Nights. Yes, authors visiting Ravenous Nights for the first time! From the tapestry of India to the weird paranormal to sex storytelling and performing, it’s looking to be a diverse evening of eclectic erotic works.

EVENT DETAILS:
Where: Happy Ending Lounge, 302 Broome Street, NYC (pink awning says “Xie He Health”)
Phone: (212) 334-9676
Cost: Free
21+

Joining us:

Nicholas Kaufmann is the critically acclaimed author of the Bram Stoker Award-nominated General Slocum’s Gold (Burning Effigy Press), Hunt at World’s End (as Gabriel Hunt, Leisure Books), Chasing the Dragon (ChiZine Publications) and the collection Walk in Shadows (Prime Books, out of print). His fiction has appeared in Cemetery Dance, The Mammoth Book of Best New Erotica 3, City Slab, The Best American Erotica 2007, Playboyand others. In addition to writing the monthly “Dead Air” column for The Internet Review of Science Fiction, his non-fiction has appeared in On Writing Horror (Writers Digest Books), Dark Scribe Magazine, Annabelle Magazine, Fantastic Metropolis, Hellnotes and others. He has also served on the Board of Trustees for the Horror Writers Association and is a member of the International Thriller Writers.

Born and raised in the United States by traditional Indian parents, Suleikha Snyder has always marched to the beat of her own dhol. As a child, she began writing fan fiction, mixing canonical TV characters with invented Indian-American characters, the genesis of the multicultural and interracial themes she explores in her current work. Today, her short stories and novellas are spicy, often LGBT-themed and frequently peppered with bits of Hindi or Spanish. (Expect both masala and masti!) Her short fiction appears in Cleis Press and Ravenous Romance anthologies. Her eagerly anticipated LGBT novella, Spice and Smoke, will be released on April 10 from Samhain Publishing. (Warning: This book contains gay and straight sexy times, smoking, drinking, references to drug use, and a gratuitous musical number involving The Beatles.)

Our good friend, Jefferson, curates and hosts of Bare. A sex educator and writer, Jefferson keeps a pseudonymous blog, One Life, Take Two, that details his life as a parent and pervert. He is a storyteller frequently seen on stages around the city and elsewhere, including The Moth, where he is a StorySlam winner.

Mo Beasley is an award-winning performance poet and storyteller. He is also a sexuality educator, author, and public speaker. He has successfully integrated his love of performing with his love of education and community building. In the fields of sexuality, race, manhood, and arts advocacy, he has over 20 years experience as a stage performer, teaching artist, workshop facilitator, consultant, activist, and mentor to youth. Mo Beasley’s presentations range from cutting-edge perspectives on sex, sexuality, to art as action, fatherhood and family building, hip hop as a tool for education, to re-defining masculinity for the 21st century.

Want to learn about rope bondage? Frustrated with short workshops and demos? Do you want personalized attention to improve every aspect of your rope techniques? Are you ready for the disciplined approached to take you to the next level? Have you wanted to know what Midori teaches her personal rigger apprentices? Are you a total rope beginner with the motivation to move past your hesitation and blow your lover’s mind with hot scenes? Are you a master of the basics who’s ready for a real challenge?

Midori, international sexuality educator, is presenting her exclusive weekend intensive training in Japanese rope bondage in New York City, April 28-29. This event provides the opportunity for people of all skill levels to receive personalized instruction in rope bondage. Midori and her co-presenter, DeLano of DeLano Bound, share the heart and soul of the rope bottom experience during this concentrated weekend workshop that includes 16+ hours of instruction with lots of hands-on practice.

Two intensive days to build up rope skills from solid foundations, speed, effectiveness, and safe introduction to suspension. Covering essentials for tops, bottoms, for novices as well as the experienced.

Includes: 16+ hours of intensive training from four Dojo Cadres. Emphasis will be on balanced education focusing on “Heart-Mind-Hand” approach, covering rope skills, scene managements, psychology, history and more for both those who tie and those who are tied.

PLEASE NOTE THAT THE CLASS HOURS ARE DIFFERENT than the usual Dojo, due to change in facility hours. We’ll start at 12:00pm and end at 8pm.

Included: morning nosh, delicious lunches, afternoon snacks & other goodies.

This is the last time this Dojo will be given on the East Coast in 2012.

For more information see the curriculum and FAQ at http://www.RopeDojo.com/

Registration  currently open – Preregistration required!

We hope to see you April 4th  at the Happy Ending Lounge. We’re there the first Wednesday of every month. This event is free.

The Pleasure Salon has been created to build community, allowing sex-positive activists to cross-pollinate. Our gatherings bring together members of the BDSM, swinger, alternative gender, LGBTQ, sex-activist, sex educator, nudist, sex-magic, polyamory, Pagan, radical faerie, tantra, dark odyssey, sex-blogger, porn, pervert and sex-worker communities, and others whose passion is sex. (Let us know if we missed any one of you!) Through building networks in the sex-positive community, The Pleasure Salon hopes to help create a sex-positive world. It is a place for the open exchange of ideas and sensual expression.

Join us in building New York’s pleasure positive community, and bring your like-minded friends to this social gathering. The Pleasure Salon embraces respect, acceptance, and non-judgmental support in this public space.

Where: Happy Ending Lounge, 302 Broome Street (bet Forsyth & Eldridge) (pink awning says “Xie He Health”)

Cost: FREE

Facebook: http://on.fb.me/GE7aOk

Fetlife Rsvp: https://fetlife.com/events/85232/v2

In pleasure,
Patricia Johnson, Selina Fire & Mark Michaels

Hitting someone in the face is intimate and invasive. Regardless of if you want to fight back or to take it like a champ, if you want to punch your bottom (or your top) in the face, take this class first. Rock fat lips and black eyes and keep your teeth where they belong. This is a hands on experience so if you can, bring a worthy opponent or a willing victim. This class focuses on hitting in the face, but also covers body blows.

Where: The LGBT Center, 208 West 13th St. (7th/8th Ave), NYC
When: Friday, April 20 , 2012; 8:00-10:00PM
Cost: LSM Members: $5/Non Members: $10

About Angel and Koja

Angel has been a professional pervert since 1993. He came out as a leather dyke in San Francisco and is now a trans, femme, daddy living in NYC. He is an activist both in and out of the leather and kink communities. As a queer person of mixed race, indigenous origins and complicated ability status, he prizes inclusion in all of our communities.

Koja is a gender-fucked stone butch top, half-breed Lakota, paramedic, pervert and blue collar activist who came out in the San Francisco leather community in 1999 and currently resides in New York City. He has been facilitating workshops for the past nine years and when he’s not teaching across the country, he’s probably surfing.

Visit their website at http://www.toyboxmodern.com/

About Lesbian Sex Mafia

Lesbian Sex Mafia (LSM) is a social and educational organization for women and transfolkwho have a positive personal interest in BDSM with other women. Our tenets are safety, consensuality, confidentiality and the right of women to explore their sexuality as they choose.

Membership in Lesbian Sex Mafia is open to all women 18 years of age or older including gay, straight, bi, and transsexual and intersexed women who live their daily lives as women, and all female-born transgendered persons who have a connection with and respect for the women’s community. For membership information and benefits please visit www.lesbiansexmafia.org.

LSM reserves the right to deny admission to non-members it has reason to believe will not abide by the LSM principles of safety, consensuality and confidentiality.

For ASL interpretation request please email LSMNYC@hotmail.com.

No member is turned away from an LSM event based upon ability to pay. Please contact us in advance to request a scholarship.

• Why Some Find “Fifty Shades Of Grey” Disturbing, New Film Adaptation Announced, Erotic Novel Generates Controversy – Yet the story is pure fiction and merely a projection of what some women are afraid to admit they want. Anastasia has safe words that she is encouraged to utilize when things go too far. Furthermore, the acts are consensual. The heroine is captivated by Christen and wants to partake in the, sometimes violent, encounters.
• Mike Fleming’s Q&A; With ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’ Agent Valerie Hoskins, Broker Of 2012′s Biggest Book Rights Film Deal – Since this was the wildest book auction in years and so many heavy hitters spent the weekend obsessing over it, I wanted to get the play-by-play from Hoskins, the British agent who, it turns out, is a real spitfire. I caught her just before she boarded a plane back across the pond with James, who left with a seven-figure publishing deal in one pocket, and a seven-figure movie rights deal in the other.
• Call for Submissions: New Views on Pornography: Sexuality, Politics, and the Law – New Views on Pornography is a two-volume collection of the most current scholarship on pornography. This edited series presents empirical research on a range of contemporary issues regarding pornography’s politics, psychology, cultural and legal debates, providing a comprehensive and multidisciplinary overview of the field of porn studies in one convenient location for students, researchers, and professors across related fields. Our goal as editors is to showcase new and innovative research that examines the culture and politics of pornography in a global context, including but not limited to, questions of production, audiences, market niches, technological innovations, political debaest and controversies, obscenity, free speech, public policy and the law. The editors seek well-researched facts and data in order to provide readers with a comprehensive overview of issues on the subject.
• Ontario’s top court overturns ban on brothels, cites safety of sex workers (AP) – A ban on brothels puts prostitutes at risk and is unconstitutional, Ontario’s top court ruled Monday, in a case that is expected to be appealed to Canada’s top court and have ramifications for the country at large.
• Anti-Gay Marriage Group’s Leaked Docs Reveal Divide and Conquer Racial Plans (Atlantic Wire) – Late yesterday, the Human Rights Campaign, a gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender civil rights group, obtained “internal NOM documents” that were part of an ongoing investigation by the State of Maine into financial activities by the organization. NOM apparently fought hard to keep those documents sealed, and in reading portions of one of the documents (a 34-page document entitled “The National Strategy for Winning the Marriage Battle”) we understand why. Not only has this organization used ham-fisted approaches to attack the LGBT community, but there’s textual evidence that they aren’t afraid to use a ham-fisted approach to court black and Latino communities.
• Transgender model disqualified from Miss Universe Canada pageant – Jenna Talackova, 23, was born as a male, but has identified as a female since age 4. She began hormone
  therapy at 14, and underwent gender reassignment surgery at 19, according to a 2010 interview.
• The Story of a Suicide: Tyler Clementi’s Suicide and Dharun Ravi’s Trial | Ian Parker (The New Yorker) – Two college roommates, a webcam, and a tragedy.
• Unmasking A Digital Pirate On Amazon | Fast Company – When David H. Springer, a prodigiously productive erotica writer under such naughty pen names as Oediplex and TrojanSnake, learned that one of his stories, “I Remember Mother,” had been scraped off the Web and resold for the Kindle as My Step Mom Loves Me by someone he never heard of, he was, he says, more amused than angry. Still, the 64-year-old security guard, who initially began penning erotica to gain free access to porn sites, could use any income the book generated, no matter how inconsequential. But he doubted it was worth going after Luke Ethan, the person who stole his “stuff-for-stiffies,” nor did he have resources to hire a lawyer.

Although it’s April Fools, I get to kick off the virtual book tour for Sinclair Sexsmith’s Say Please: Lesbian BDSM erotica anthology (Cleis Press), and that’s no joke! I got a copy when I saw Sinclair at Lesbian Sex Mafia’s workshop with KD, 2011 International Ms. Bootblack. There’s also going to be a book launch party in NYC and I’ll post that next.

With contributing authors Miriam Zoila Pérez, Wendi Kali, Rachel Kramer Bussel, Gigi Frost, BB Rydell, Amelia Thornton, Vie La Guerre, Sassafras Lowrey, Dusty Horn, Kiki DeLovely, Elaine Miller, Shawna Elizabeth, Sossity Chiricuzio, Meridith Guy, August InFlux, Maria See, D.L. King, Anna Watson, Dilo Keith, Sinclair Sexsmith, Alysia Angel, Xan West, and Elizabeth Thorne, there’s a little bit of everything in this luscious anthology: leather, whips and chains, dungeons, sensation play, discipline and power, topping and bottoming, submission and surrender, sadism and masochism, fetish:

. . . But when I began sorting through the stories, reading nearly a hundred submissions, I started questioning what constituted BDSM in this specific context of lesbian erotica.

It is an acronym, multilayered, as sorne of its letters have multiple meanings: the BD is for bondage and discipline, the SM is for sadism and masochism, and the DS in the middle is also for domination and submission.
But it is more than that. As my definition widened, I started to see it as including all kinds of kink in general, the dozens of fetishes that get us hot and get our engines revving, our blood pumping.

I’m thrilled to have immersed myself in the kinky BDSM lesbian erotica submissions that came through my in-box and to have emerged with twenty-three stories with a huge range of sensation, discipline, bondage, topping, bottoming, submission,power, sadism, masochism, surrender, and fetish. This collection includes writers whose names you will probably recognize, writers who are new to publishing erotica, and quite a few who have never been published before. As with many things, the more I look closely at BDSM, rhe harder it is for me to bring my flogger down on it and define precisely what I think it means. But I do think this anthology begins to explore the depth and breadth of experiences that this kinky queer world has to offer.

I’m especially looking forward to the stories which queer some classic domination and submission dynamics and gender play. It’s nice to see some of the writers I’m familiar with, such as D.L. King, Xan West and Sassafras Lowery, and some new voices I’m unfamliar with such as Elizabeth Thorne and Kiki DeLovely. Congratulations  to Sinclair Sexsmith and all the authors!

Virtual Book Tour Stops
http://saypleasebook.wordpress.com

April 1      Say Please release party in SF
April 1 Viviane http://www.thesexcarnival.com
April 3 Rachel Kramer Bussel http://lustylady.blogspot.com

April 4 Giselle Renard http://donutsdesires.blogspot.com
April 5 Evoe Throw http://www.wholesexlife.com
April 6 Liz http://AlphaHarlot.com
April 9 Roma Mafia http://www.romamafia.com
April 9 Daniela http://www.thecsph.org

April 10 Official release date! Sinclair http://www.sugarbutch.net
April 11 Dede / deviantdyke http://deviantdyke.blogspot.com/
April 12 Helena Swann http://www.cuntext.com

April 13 Kim Herbel http://www.butchlesque.com
April 13   Say Please release party in NYC
April 14 Lily Lloyd http://theblackleatherbelt.com
April 15 Kelli Dunham http://www.kellidunham.com

April 16 Lyzanne http://sexpositive.tumblr.com/
April 17 Lula Lisbon http://www.lulalisbon.com
April 18 Ali Oh http://www.madeofwords.com
April 19 Jameson http://www.ftmbutchdude.com

April 21 Charlie Ninja http://charlieninja.tumblr.com/
April 22    Say Please release party in Boston
April 22 Meredith Guy http://meridithguy.tumblr.com
April 23 Wendi Kali http://astrangerinthisplace.blogspot.com

April 24 Lolita Wolf http://leatheryenta.com
April 25 Audrey at Babeland http://babeland.com/blog
April 26 Seth B http://smokebellyscorner.wordpress.com

April 27 Danika http://www.lesbrary.com
April 28 DL King http://www.dlkingerotica.com
April 29 Kiki http://kikidelovely.wordpress.com
April 30 Dilo Keith http://dilokeith.wordpress.com/blog-2/
April 30 Xan West http://tgstonebutch.livejournal.com/
May 2 Say Please release party in Seattle

The problem is, learning about sex from porn is like learning about firearms from action movies. Action movies sacrifice realism for the sake of storyline or a really cool explosion. Action movies don’t teach you gun safety. Action movies don’t talk about alternatives to violence. And action movies use some tropes—such as the infinite ammo supply—that may move the story along but don’t reflect reality. That’s not a problem, as long as everyone treats them as entertaining fantasies.

Unfortunately, for many young people becoming sexually active today, the entertaining fantasies of mainstream porn are the teacher they’ve spent the most time with, and mainstream porn is a terrible teacher.

Link

Shyla G. and Jennifer W.
Full gallery

Dirty Queer Sex Virtual Tour

Sinclair Sexsmith presents a cornucopia of queer kink—tantalizing tales rich in variety and saucy details of girls put in their place—and held there firmly. Whether readers dream of surrendering to a lover or of taking control, Say Please offers plenty of erotic inspiration and gives readers exactly what they want! Come hear authors from the book read their stories and celebrate the release of this kinky queer collection.

Where:  Bluestockings, 172 Allen Street (bet. Stanton & Rivington), Lower East Side, NYC

Featuring Dusty Horn, DL King, Vie La Guerre, Sassafras Lowrey, Miriam Zoila Pérez, Elizabeth Thorne, and Xan West, hosted by Sinclair Sexsmith, writer of the Sugarbutch Chronicles and editor of Say Please & Best Lesbian Erotica 2012.

Sinclair Sexsmith runs the award-winning personal online writing project Sugarbutch Chronicles: The Gender, and Relationship Adventures of a Kinky Queer Butch Top at sugarbutch.net. With work published in various anthologies and websites, including Take Me There: Trans and Genderqueer Erotica, she is the guest editor of Best Lesbian Erotica 2012, and her first full-length erotica anthology, Say Please: Lesbian BDSM Erotica, will be published by Cleis Press in April 2012. Mr. Sexsmith writes, teaches, and performs focusing on the subjects of sex, gender, and relationships. More information on her at mrsexsmith.com.

ABOUT THE READERS

Dusty Horn’s erotica has been published by Cleis in Orgasmic and Best Bondage 2011, her sex culture reportage on CarnalNation.com, and her critical theory of sex work in AORTA magazine. A BDSM professional, queer pornographer, kink educator, social worker, and rocknroll exhibitionist slut, Dusty is (in)famous for her spanking booths.

Editor of Carnal Machines, Spank, The Sweetest Kiss, and Where the Girls Are, D.L. King has contributed short stories to Best Lesbian Erotica, Best Women’s Erotica, Girl Crazy, and Broadly Bound, among others. She’s published two novels and edits the erotica review site Erotica Revealed. Find her at www.dlkingerotica.com.

Vie La Guerre is a femme wordsmith who lives in Chicago with her kittens, Foxy Brown and Zora.

Sassafras Lowrey (www.PoMoFreakshow.com) is an international award–winning storyteller, author, artist, and educator. Sassafras is the editor of the Kicked Out anthology, which brought together the voices of current and former homeless LGBTQ youth. Her prose has been included in numerous anthologies and she regularly teaches LGBTQ storytelling workshops at colleges and conferences across the country. Sassafras lives in Brooklyn, New York, with her family.

Miriam Zoila Pérez (www.miriamzperez.com) is a Cuban-American writer, blogger, and reproductive justice activist. She is the founder of RadicalDoula.com and an editor at Feministing.com. Her essays have been included in various anthologies, including Persistence: All Ways Butch and Femme. Pérez lives in Brooklyn.

Elizabeth Thorne began writing erotic stories when she was working in a place known as The Sex Lab. It was an act of desperation since, ironically enough, studying sex kept her too busy to meet anyone larger than a mouse… and unlike Cinderella she doesn’t actually swing that way. These days, Elizabeth spends her time sitting around in her PJs writing popular science during the day and erotic romance at night. She has contributed to more than a dozen anthologies of erotica and erotic romance and is proud to be the author of “The Gingerbread Dungeon,” a collection of pansexual BDSM fairy tales. You can find her online at withbatedbeth.com.

Xan West is the pseudonym of an NYC BDSM/sex educator. Xan’s “First Time Since” won honorable mention for the 2008 NLA John Preston Short Fiction Award. Xan has appeared in many anthologies, including Best SM Erotica 2 & 3, Best Women’s Erotica 2008 & 2009, and Best Lesbian Erotica 2011.

Midori by Steve Diet Goedde

WASHINGTON DC

Sat. 4/14 – Sun 4/15 Weekend w/Midori | DC Rope Art

Sat 4/14 “Kinesthetic Rope” & “Passionate Dynamic Play”
Sun 4/15 “Speed & Flow Drills” & “Predicament Bondage”

More info: https://fetlife.com/events/93063/v2

NEW YORK

Thu 4/19 “Pink Japan: Contemporary Sex Culture” | Museum of Sex

What exotic erotic adventures happen behind the closed doors of Japan? Come to this fascinating presentation and find out!

From cuisine, music, fashion, technology to anime, Japan’s cultural influences on the West is immense. In many ways the Japanese erotic cultures also influence today’s Western tastes. Yet the daily realities of Japan’s sexual habits, sexual consumer culture, gender relations, and sensual subcultures world remain hidden to us, creating an aura of mystique. In this funny and insightful presentation, join Midori for a double-expatriate’s personal tour of Japan’s hidden sexual culture today. Come early to browse through her collection of naughty magazines, rare books, unusual flyers and other goodies from Japan. Midori is a Kyoto born, Tokyo-raised, Japanese-American author and sex educator based in San Francisco. She is well versed with the contradiction that is 21st Century Japan and possesses a keen insight into culture and sexuality.

More info/tickets: http://bit.ly/HBRm2k

Tue 4/24 “Aural Sex: Seduction by Voice” | Long Island Leather N Roses

The Geishas and Courtesans were masters of the art of seduction. Their most potent skill was the use of the erotic voice and sensual story telling. Learn how to use the hypnotic magic of the voice to seduce and arouse your lover long before you enter the bedroom. Incorporating seductive voice techniques learned in this class to heat up the bedroom and add spice to your erotic life. Mesmerize your lover and transport both of you to an erotic landscape. Learn how to build and enrich a powerful fantasy, practice effective voice techniques and spellbinding. You’ll learn techniques of finding out yours and your lovers fantasy, practice story telling skills and improve them with Midori’s gentle guidance. Spicy demos, practical exercises, tips. Delightful class for couples and singles

More info: http://bit.ly/InCPIX

Wed 4/25  “Rope: Flow & Speed Drills” | The Iron Bell Academy, Astoria

Description: Whether you’re an expert or have only taken one rope bondage class, this experience will help to make your rope play more confident, smooth and intuitive. This class will cover essential skills for fluid, effective and graceful motion in tying. Great flow and speed skills add to dynamic scenes with power emotional and play potential, increases confidence, allows for greater creative thinking and connection with your partner. After the initial discussion, the students will break into pairs for series of timed drills and challenges. These are non-competitive exercises designed to increase your speed and confidence while identifying areas to improve. Everyone will be asked to, and will be expected to do the exercises.

More info/tickets: http://bit.ly/IblMpT

TH 4/26  “Humiliation Play” | Purple Passion

Why do people get off on being embarrassed or humiliated? Is this a style of play you’ve struggled to understand? Do you want to understand how to do this well and avoid disasters? What are the potential psychological ramifications? What’s different for a one-time scene vs. playing with your life partner? Emphasizing emotional safety throughout, Midori will explore a wide range of play from light teasing and embarrassment to serious humiliation. What’s the difference between a healthy and constructive scene and one that is destructive and harmful? She will share with you a unique model she’s developed to better understand and create an experience that is hot for all the players involved. Are you trying to better understand this difficult subject? Have you questioned yourself on your desires or ability to make another squirm? Or have you ever secretly wanted to be put on the spot or shown how really naughty you are? Then this class is for you! All attendees get 15% store discount before and after the workshop

Info/purchase tickets: http://bit.ly/Iwkesk

Sat 4/28 – Sun 4/29     Rope Bondage Dojo® | The LGBT Center

Are you SERIOUS about improving your rope bondage skills?
Do you want to erotically please and sexually pleasure your partner using rope?
Do you want to learn how to be a better bottom or receiver of rope pleasures?
Ready to get to the next level of education?
Do you want to do safer rope suspension bondage the right way?
If so, you’ll love Rope Bondage Dojo®.
It’s designed with a multi-skill level layered education style to create an exceptional learning experience for both experienced and novice players.
In two days, your rope skills will improve dramatically through16 hours of concentrated, personalized and hands-on education by Midori and DeLano, two of the best instructors around. It’s a weekend-long immersion and training course unlike any other!

Pre-registration required.

More info/register: www.ropedojo.com

PHILADELPHIA  

A Weekend with Midori | Sexploratorium & AxD Gallery

Fri 4/20. 7pm         “JoyStick Secrets: How to Thrill a Man”
Sat 4/21. 2pm         “Hands-on Rope Bondage”
Sat 4/21. 5pm         “Rope Body Harnes”
Sun 4/22. 1pm         “Flogging: Amazing Hands-on Training”
Sun 4/22. 4pm         “Art of Feminine Dominance”

Info: http://passion101classes.com/

BALTIMORE

Mon 4/23  “Art of Feminine Dominance” | Sugar

Elegance, power and confidence. Do you want to know hot to be a dominant without being a bad cliche? How do you find a sexy style of erotic dominance that’s authentic to you? Using a special technique she developed, Midori will help you to find your inner power femme archetype, allowing you to pursue erotic fulfillment of sensual power play. Not your typical how to class, you’ll discover the difference between constructive and destructive desires and point you towards ways of bringing satisfaction in bedroom play for both you and your partner.Midori will share with you her secrets of the feminine art of dominance. She will discuss the psychology, practical exercises, techniques, fashion, how to discover what makes your partner weak-kneed and more. This class is not limited to a gender, but for all who harbor the powerful woman within! Something for everyone from the novice to the experienced player. All genders and partners welcome.

Info/Tickets: http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/225508

ABOUT MIDORI

Midori is a renowned educator and writer on sexuality. Dubbed “the super nova of kink” by Dan Savage, she emerged from the Sex Positive Movement in San Francisco in the early 1990’s, soon becoming a much sought after international presenter on sexuality, personal fulfillment and kinky adventures. While considered a pivotal figure in the Leather and BDSM communities, she is also seen as a critic, activist and agent provocateur.

Her reputation as authority and leading expert on alternative pleasures stem not only from her unique and entertaining process of teaching concrete skills, but in her ability to deconstruct and distill complex matters of desire into surprisingly accessible lessons with eloquence and humanity. She’s known for tackling challenging topics with fresh and relevant insights. She calls this her “head-heart-hands” method to create a space where people are allowed individual self-exploration. Fundamentally she is motivated by helping people to create authentic and intimate relationships while emphasizing self actualization, shame reduction, acceptance and justice.

Her writing is extensive, ranging from numerous articles, columns, works of fiction, to instructional books. In 2001, she wrote the first English language book on Shibari, “The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage” when Japanese rope play was still limited to a niche audience. Her other major books to this date include “Wild Side Sex: The Book of Kink” and “Master Han’s Daughter.”

In 2001 she founded Rope Bondage Dojo®. She has trained many cadres and still leads many Dojos each year. Later she formed ForteFemme, a unique women’s dominance weekend training and empowerment intensive.

Beyond her role as an educator, she’s a passionate artist exploring the fringes of desire and identity. Exhibiting and performing internationally, she has also presented as artist in resident at Das Arts (Netherlands) and Tanzquartier Wien (Austria). She is often caught committing acts of installations, performances, sculpture, photography and general art pranks.

Born and raised in Japan, she served in the US Army while earning her psychology degree from University of California, Berkeley. She now calls San Francisco her home, which she shares with her wonderful spouse and severely spoiled four legged furry beings. Learn more about her projects at www.PlanetMidori.com and her art at www.Ranshin.com.

Laura Antoniou, author of The Marketplace series of BDSM erotica, posted a parody of “50 Shades of Grey” last night.  Beverage spew alert – don’t be drinking while reading this.

Like. O. M. G. There he was, so freaking hot. In his leather pants from Dolce and Gabanna and his black silk shirt and really expensive black tie and black jacket and black diamond stick pin through the really expensive black tie and his ink black hair and jet black eyes and his big feet in big, black boots, oh, he was so into black.

“you’re Tiffany,” he murmured as he leaned in toward her, gracefully looking at her plunging cleavage, and her heaving alabaster breasts.

He was so tall! Even with her lithe 5’7″ frame enhanced by those 4″ heels, he was at least a foot taller! And his piercing black eyes pierced her to her very soul.

“I…I…” Tiffany stammered, letting her booze popsicle drip, drip, drip down her hand to splat, splat, splat on the floor. She bit her full, ruby red lips in luscious lasciviousness.

“I’m disgustingly rich and dominant,” he sneered dominantly. “you will be Mine!”

“Oh, wow,” Tiffany seized. “Um. Wow. OK. Sure. What does that mean, exactly?”

“I have a checklist!” he said triumphantly, while texting an URL to her. “Go to My Web Page and fill it out, and tell Me whether you like, dislike, or are neutral about the 300 activities and fetishes listed there, and whether you’ve done them before and with whom, and what you thought about it, and then rate them on a scale of 1-10 on whether you’d like to do it now, tomorrow, next week, or after the Mayan Apocalypse.”

“Um,” Tiffany coughed out, a delicate flush gathering on her porcelain features, her beautiful, full lips, her high, sculpted cheekbones, her delicately feathered eyebrows and her oh-so-cute upturned nose. “But I’m sure I haven’t done anything on your list at all! Despite being an adult in 2012, working at your huge corporation and having been through some form of schooling, I am still completely virginal and know nothing at all about kinky sex! I am beautiful, though.”

Read the full piece:

Facebook

Fetlife

• Fun in Getting Taken Out of Context | Feministe

  I often avoid writing about this stuff because it devolves into a downward spiral of stupid. “This proves that women want to be dominated!” “No, as long as someone finds it erotic, it’s ok and we have no right to look at this in the context of a misogynist culture!” “BDSM is freaky and for perverts!” “No, people who practice BDSM are always responsible and it’s never abusive!” etc etc etc.

• Romance, Arousal, and Condescension | Blog | Smart Bitches, Trashy Books | Romance Novel Reviews | All of the Romance, None of the Bullshit.  

  I think the real temptation and curiosity for those people and many, many others was that many women were saying “This is great for my sex life. This is great for my marriage.” Better sex? Who is saying no to that?!…I certainly wouldn’t, though 50 Shades did not crank my engine the way it has for so many other women. But I remain stunned by the fact that yet again we’re repeating the same assumptions, and answering with the same assertions. We cannot examine female arousal without demeaning condescension. And that is a shame. I wish it were possible to speak candidly about what books turned women on, and why. It would be fascinating to see what those books have in common, and why some work and some don’t.

• The Soapbox: Actually, Katie Roiphe, Feminists Are Not Perplexed About Submissive Sex | Jessica Wakeman | The Frisky

  Free will is very much present in submissive sex, which, let’s not forget, is acting out a fantasy. In fact, if it is done right, the very act of negotiating a dominant/submissive play session is a choice and is about as far from abuse as possible. Longtime partners and kinkier BDSM folks may play with total, I-place-myself-completely-in-your-hands submission (The Story of O comes to mind), but for the rest of us this “surrender” is beautifully negotiated, even planned. That is because most partners — the responsible ones — approach each other as equals. Equal dignity, equal respect, equal attempts at pleasure. Dominance and submission does not mean some animals are more equal than others. Sexual subjugation in the realm of sexual fantasy does not erase outside-the-bedroom equality — unless, of course, one wants it to, but that, too, will be negotiated.

Full gallery

• ‘A Queer and Pleasant Danger’ by Kate Bornstein | Lambda Literary – In A Queer and Pleasant Danger Bornstein offers a raw exploration of her gender journey, including candid explorations of her lifelong eating disorders and their relationship to her conception of self and gender. Bornstein gives us the opportunity to see behind the scenes and into the early gender outlaw days of one of the most brilliant gender theorists and performance artists of our time. We watch as she grapples with coming out as a lesbian, learning how to work cute as an embodiment of gender, and find power in the body she transforms. Bornstein brings us into her early activist days, including a trip to the trial of Brandon Tina’s murders, visiting the house where Tina died, as well as to the stage of her first queer performance work.
• When Children See Internet Pornography – NYTimes.com – There is no set script, and no predictable moment for the conversation. It can happen at as early an age as 6 or 7, when a child may not yet understand the basic mechanics of sex. It is typically set off by a child’s accidental wanderings online or the deliberate searches of a curious teenager on a smartphone, laptop, tablet or one of the other devices that have made it nearly impossible to grow up without encountering sexually explicit material. Even a quick Twitter or Facebook search reveals that older students report seeing pornography on others’ laptops or phones in class, usually with an “OMG” attached.
• Sexuality and Other Female (Film) Troubles – NYTimes.com – “I wanted to make a Merchant-Ivory movie with vibrators,” Ms. Wexler, 42, said sitting in an office in Midtown Manhattan, her long brown hair bouncing every time she let out a booming laugh. “And in doing that, strangely, we’ve shone a light. Can you believe we’re still arguing about these same topics 100 years later — women’s rights over their own body? If a woman is behind the camera, these issues can be explored more than they have in the past.”
• Sex Ed for Grown Folks — Indiegogo – Support The Garden, a DC based sexual education resource . The money raised here will help create space for people of all ages and walks of life to find the resources they need to ask the questions they might not know how to ask. Space for queer, trans, straight, gay, bi, poly, pomosexual, unsure, in between, on the edge, and in the closet people to come and figure it all out. Take a class. Buy that toy you’ve been eyeing online but needed to feel first. Seek the resources and find the therapists, coaches and body workers who won’t judge you for who are or how you live. Come to The Garden, ask the questions, get educated and find your pleasure.
• Facebook and poly privacy « Polyamory Weekly – Is it OK to list my relationship status as “open” on Facebook if my girlfriend isn’t out publicly?
• Library ban on best-seller sparks Florida censorship debate – USATODAY.com – Instead, the Brevard library chose recently to close the book on British author E.L. James’ “Fifty Shades of Grey.” Cathy Schweinsberg, library services director, decided after reading the novel to pull from circulation the system’s 19 copies of “Fifty Shades of Grey,” the first installment in a trilogy.
• For Ultra-Orthodox Jews in Abuse Cases, a Prosecutor Uses Different Rules – NYTimes.com – Mr. Hynes has won election six times as district attorney thanks in part to support from ultra-Orthodox rabbis, who lead growing communities in neighborhoods like Borough Park and Crown Heights. But in recent years, as allegations of child sexual abuse have shaken the ultra-Orthodox Jewish community in Brooklyn, victims’ rights groups have expressed concern that he is not vigorously pursuing these cases because of his deep ties to the rabbis.