SEX. SEX. SEX.

There we’ve said it. You were probably already thinking about sex before we even mentioned it, weren’t you? Let’s face it, it’s natural and, of course, we all do. It’s part of being a healthy human being, but the important question is not if we think about sex, it’s how we think about sex and how we learn to navigate intimate relationships. As many people take their cues about sexuality from media images or online pornography, it leads to inadequate information on basic anatomy, natural sexual responses and relationship expectations. Even most academic health classes seem to offer less than the whole picture or as campus sex-crusader, Dan Savage, notes, “Too often reproduction is simplified into basic biology terms. In classes they’ll just say, there’s an egg, there’s some sperm that gets ejaculated and maybe you’ll create a baby, and there that’s sex. Sexual education needs to be more about how you have sex, how to talk to women to have sex, how to be responsible, how to know what consensual sex is. If we taught drivers ed the way we taught sex ed, no one would survive! We would teach them about the car engine, but nothing about how to drive.”

So what’s the answer to this conundrum? Simple. Let’s talk about it. Talk about the mechanics of sex. Talk about safer sex. Talk about how to respectfully discuss your desires with your partner. Open, frank, non-innuendo’d dialogue is the only way to dispel misconceptions, educate, enlighten, and allow individuals and couples to explore their own unique path to healthy sexual experiences.

We, at Minna Life (a proud donor for Harvard Sex Week) are no strangers to the conversation. While creating the touch-responsive Ola vibrator, the co-founders of the company set out to solve a technical design issue stemming from poor experiences with existing products and have found that focusing on the end-user has also shown beneficial results to couples’ relationships. As co-founder, designer and CEO, John Pelochino says, “We all have this perceived notion of what is and isn’t ‘suitable for polite conversation.’ But in order to get worthwhile feedback on a vibrator prototype, you have to delve into what really gives people pleasure. That’s a highly variable and nuanced subject. And there are taboos that make the whole matter a delicate discussion. Ultimately, we all had to redefine our concept of what’s polite to talk about — and what’s more polite, at the end of the day, than caring about your partner’s needs and desires? I think overcoming those obstacles made us better designers. The pleasant side effect is that it also made us more open people.”

We realized early on that the aim of creating a great pleasure product experience was to create better intimacy whether alone or with a partner. “Our goal became to use technology to mask technology. To design a device that worked and felt so natural, that if felt almost like an extension of your own mind and body. It was a lot of work, but the process was really intriguing. And ultimately, it led us to design something completely unexpected － the first-ever squeezable interface that allows the user to control their own path to pleasure intuitively.”

The two-year design process has been amazingly collaborative by nature with endless discussions between designers, our all-too-eager testers, and sex educators to create the Ola. And the conversation continues as our customers begin to share their feedback with us and open up the dialogue of exploration with their partners in the bedroom.

If you’re interested in contributing a guest post to our blog, contact Ben at sexweek@hcs.harvard.edu

So we want to educate girls, but we don’t want to talk about sex. We want girls to read, but we don’t want to provide them with information about their bodies. We want to save girls from female genital mutilation and rescue them from brothels, but we don’t want to know why they choose to sleep with their boyfriends or trade sex for commodities or affection or grades. We want girls to get married later, but we don’t want to talk openly about contraception or abortion.”

There have been a number of blog posts here about the importance of comprehensive sexual education to our future as a nation and this article makes it very clear that sex ed should be a priority in our schools:

…if we want our daughters to grow up with confidence, courage, and competence, we must make sure that they grow up with knowledge about and access to contraception. We should build schools, fund libraries, encourage teacher training, and support free tuition, but we also need to push for comprehensive access to sex education for both girls and boys, not just abroad, but right here in the United States.”

As part of the dichotomy between its exceptionalism and its commonalities with the concepts of higher education, Harvard both flees from and embraces what it shares with other colleges. We distinguish ourselves in academics, the University says, but we share the common nature of life and our students are as happy and as equipped with opportunities as any other campus in the nation. To a large degree, this assertion is quite correct. Harvard is not like any other United States institution—will any other college that is 375 years old please stand up?—in terms of its pedagogical history and the staff is littered with Nobel Prize winners and experts in their relative fields. The academics are noteworthy and the college is ranked no.1 on the all-important scale to mothers of high school seniors everywhere—U.S. News and Report. The school’s newspaper, The Crimson, is a million dollar enterprise; for every dorm there is a name every student knows who has lived in it. Matt Damon, Natalie Portman, Al Gore, Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, the list goes on and on.

Yet in many ways, Harvard is no different from many other institutions. As part of the American college system, Harvard is not immune to the symptoms of the American college dating scene. The ideas of rape and alcohol-induced illicit and possibly nonconsensual sexual activity are not gone at Harvard. This summer alone, there were two rapes in the Harvard yard. With the frequent consumption of alcoholic beverages, a staple on every campus no matter the history, bad decisions can easily be made. Harvard makes a concerted effort to teach students about this in opening week with seminars and the humorous and slightly tasteless Sex Signals production.

However, it is important for the college to acknowledge that sexual education in our country is horrendous and it is very possible that most Harvard students have not received the same sexual education. Some may be sexually experienced; some may not. Some may be sexually knowledgeable; some may not. Education should be more comprehensible on this front and the emphasis should be on voluntary seminars that encourage students to pursue knowledge that they don’t already know. Instead of passive e-mails that most students skim over, it is important to make proctors announce these to their entryways and make students aware of what is being offered to them.

The most important thing that Harvard can do for its students, however, is make itself an open forum to discuss such matters in which students are comfortable expressing themselves. Whether it is issues with their relationships or inner struggles with their sexuality, students who may not feel comfortable with friends or even their significant other talking about this need to have a place to go. It is not an acceptable answer to punt this over to other student organizations like LGBTQ and expect students to be educated as to where they can go for help. Mentorship opportunities should be widely advertised and peers should be the main source of help—people feel more relaxed going to kids their age who they can trust. Regardless of how tolerant the society on campus, admitting things like struggling with one’s own heterosexuality can be difficult from students who may come from intolerant areas that openly repress the idea of homosexuality in the social sphere. Admitting domestic abuse is one of the most difficult things that someone can do as it admits going to the nadir of individual strength and letting yourself be subjugated to such awful treatment by a friend, a relationship partner, or even a stranger. This is not something that someone can forget and ‘get over’ and to treat it as such is intellectually dishonest and rude to those who deal with such a tragedy.

A final suggestion is to funnel a series of educational resources to students that they will be asked to read discussing not only issues of sexual violence but the heterogeneity in their community. These issues should promote tolerance and acceptance of those different than them. This may be especially relevant to students whom, like this author, came from very homogenous communities and perhaps do not totally understand the perspective from other ends of the racial or socioeconomic spectrum. Tolerance and the ideas of sexual openness go hand in hand and it should an important objective of Harvard’s to create a campus where discrimination on the basis of race, gender, or sexual orientation is taboo within every student community. Being Harvard, students will almost definitely be looking to accumulate more knowledge on this issue and it is important that institution fund such a noble endeavor by devoting a simple fraction of the wealth of the resources at its disposable to such a simple, but such an important, task. We may be Harvard—with all the connotations that carries—but we cannot forget that in many aspects we are no different and that the ideas of rape and discrimination are not gone from our campus. Acting is not something we can avoid and not something we can put off.

If you’re interested in writing a guest post for the Sex Week blog, contact Ben at btobinmartin@gmail.com!

The NYCLU ultimately found that in addition to inaccurate or incomplete lessons on reproductive anatomy, basic functions, and pregnancy and STI prevention, the curricula largely ignore or even stigmatize LGBTQ students, exhibit a heavy heterocentric bias, and perpetuate gender stereotypes. Many curricula also contain moral overtones and deliver a shame-based message on sexuality and teen pregnancy and parenting. The study also revealed a clear gender gap, with programs addressing male anatomy and orgasm more than twice as often as their female counterparts.

A number of fairly shocking handouts found in the report have been showing up all over the internet today being attacked for their depiction of gender stereotypes, and rightly so. Handouts describing women as “hazardous materials” that are “highly ornamental, especially in sports cars” are both unfunny and seriously damaging to young people. It may seem excessive to condemn teachers for what was (at least I hope) meant as a joke but when less than half of the sex ed programs in the study address gender role stereotypes and less than 20% cover gender identity we don’t really have time for jokes.

The report is shocking but ultimately not all that surprising. There’s a clear lack of comprehensive sex ed throughout the country and it’s reflected in our national discourse. We’re appalled when people like Todd Akin voice inaccurate and offensive opinions about rape, but we don’t require our schools to teach the facts about sexual assault. The most important part of the NYCLU’s report isn’t the shocking handouts or the appalling statistics, it’s their detailed recommendations for improving sexual education, advice that’s helpful no matter what state you live in.

Sex ed is bad, but it can be better. Contact your local school board and your elected officials and demand comprehensive sexual education standards today.

Check them out here at OkCupid’s blog!

You can read more about the law and transgender rights in Massachusetts here at the Massachusetts Transgender Political Coalition

Sex Week is absolutely educational! Our schools don’t teach us, our parents don’t teach us, our peers have only warped and incorrect knowledge [about sex] — so these events become the perfect outlet to give students the information they desperately need.

Texas turned down $35 million in federal funds for Medicaid Women’s Health Program. This means that at least 300,000 low-income and uninsured women in Texas will have no or greatly-reduced access to basic reproductive health care. A proposed bill in Arizona requires women to prove to their employers that they need birth control in order to treat a medical condition if they want their prescription to be covered by their insurer. Today, women pay 50% more than men for the very same health coverage. Being a woman is not a pre-existing condition.

These proposed bills have real-life effects. Last week, an article written by Soraya Chemaly from The Huffington Post recounts many unbelievable ways women’s lives are affected by the “personhood movement”:

“Ms. Rowland was charged with murder after one of her twins was stillborn, allegedly as a result of her decision not to have cesarean surgery two weeks earlier. Yes, you can be imprisoned like Bei Bei Shuai, a woman living in Indiana who attempted suicide while pregnant (committing suicide is not a crime, by the way). Friends managed to save her, and although Ms. Shuai did everything she could, including undergoing cesarean surgery, her newborn died shortly after birth. She was arrested and charged with murder and attempted feticide and locked up without bail. (A Free Bei Bei petition was recently launched on Change.org.) Your 11-year old daughter, if raped and pregnant as a result, would be forced to carry the pregnancy to term or face criminal charges. I don’t have the time or space here to go into what happens to a pregnant woman who is already incarcerated. Consider Amanda Kimbrough, a woman struggling with meth addiction, convicted of chemical endangerment under a statute making it illegal to bring a child into a meth lab. She is only one of more than 40 women in that state alone imprisoned for substance abuse while pregnant. The salient aspect of their persecution is not their drug use, it is their pregnancies.”

Personhood USA defines “personhood” as “the cultural and legal recognition of the equal and unalienable rights of human beings.” But, as stories of Melissa Ann Rowland, Bei Bei Shuai, and Amanda Kimbrough show, the equal and unalienable rights of mothers, daughters, and sisters are in jeopardy. From unwanted cesarean sections and murder charges to transvaginal ultrasound probing and employer permission to use birth control. Enough is enough. This has got to end. 

When women are likened to farm animals and caterpillars, we cannot wait for lawmakers to come to their senses. We have to act now. On April 28th, women and men across the country will unite for reproductive justice. Unite Against the War on Women is a national grassroots movement happening in the capitals of all 50 states across the country on the same day. The goal is to show the legislators that we will not stand by and let them pass laws that limit and restrict the lives of women in this country. We have a voice and we are going to use it to put an end to body policing. Here in Massachusetts, the demonstration will take place at Boston City Hall at 10am on April 28–I hope to see you there. Meanwhile, here are a few things you can do:  

1. Call your state legislators 
2. Publicize the rally: distribute posters and fact sheets in your community. 
3. Educate: organize a forum on women’s health 
4. Donate to organizations that support women’s reproductive freedom, such as Unite Women and Planned Parenthood.
5. Join the movement: bring at least 10 people to the rally. Here is the official MA demonstration event page. 

We need to act now. See you on April 28.

Note: Thanks to all our guest bloggers! If you would like to submit a guest blog entry, email sexweek@hcs.harvard.edu.

Take Back The Night 2012

TBTN Kickoff and Saturday Night Launch
Sunday April 1^st
5-7pm
Ticknor Lounge

Kickoff Take Back the Night 2012 and launch the 6th edition of Saturday Night @ Harvard! Enjoy Spoken Word and A Cappella performances, Saturday Night magazines and readings, and some delicious food including pizza, burritos, and a dessert table.

 
The Price of Sex
A documentary film investigating sex trafficking by Mimi Chakarova
Tuesday April 3 @ 6pm
Fong Auditorium

The Price of Sex is a feature-length documentary about young Eastern European women who’ve been drawn into a netherworld of sex trafficking and abuse. Intimate, harrowing and revealing, it is a story told by the young women who were supposed to be silenced by shame, fear and violence. Photojournalist Mimi Chakarova, who grew up in Bulgaria, takes us on a personal investigative journey, exposing the shadowy world of sex trafficking from Eastern Europe to the Middle East and Western Europe. Filming undercover and gaining extraordinary access, Chakarova illuminates how even though some women escape to tell their stories, sex trafficking thrives.

Queer Sex Etiquette Dinner
Wed April 11 6-8pm
Leverett Private Dining Hall

Is there such a thing as too much lube? What’s the best way to ask for consent? Where exactly is the G spot (and what do I do once I’ve found it)? How do we open up our relationship? Where can I learn more about the kink/BDSM?

We all have questions about sex, and often desire a non-judgmental, open, and honest space to get those questions answered. Sexperts and sex educators Shana Natelson and Lyndon Cudlitz are here to answer your questions about sex, queer sexuality, and sexual etiquette. Join us in a comfortable, queer-positive space to have a discussion about sex, relationships, desire and so much more!

 
Hard Bodies, Soft Lights: Sports, Media, and Gender Performance
Professor Kerey Luis, Lecturer on Studies of Women, Gender, and Sexuality
Th April 12 @ 7:30pm
Harvard Hall 201

Sports, particularly professional sports, are often considered masculine in the United States (as the advertisements for the Super Bowl constantly remind us).  However, female athletes both challenge and support traditional heteronormative discourses about sports as a male activity, and sports as constructed for a male gaze. Media portrayals of athletes, particularly female athletes, use gender, the body, and sexuality to reinforce common cultural discourses about male and female bodies as essentially different, heterosexuality as “normal” and desirable, and particular body forms as able, beautiful, and healthy.  The media normalizes these ideas and images, writing them on and through the bodies of female athletes, although the athletes themselves may paradoxically defy such stereotyping.

 
Epic Vagina
Jincey Lumpkin
Monday April 16 @ 8pm
Sever 113

Jincey Lumpkin, Esq is known as the “Lesbian Hugh Hefner”, but she was not always a woman in control of her own sexual destiny. Epic Vagina describes her journey from victim to victor and how she overcame a history of sex abuse in order to reclaim her sexual power and change the landscape of the adult entertainment industry. The talk features strong graphic imagery and frank discussion of sexual topics, so it is appropriate only for adults 18 and older.

‘Love the way you lie’: Reading Rihanna’s Political Response to Personal Assault
Kevin Allred
Thursday April 19 @ 8pm
Sever 102

Tracing Rihanna’s often overlooked responses in her music to her violent assault at the hands of Chris Brown, from Rated R all the way to the newest remix of the song “Birthday Cake” – featuring Brown himself – I argue for a politicized reading of the violence she has invoked since the assault occurred that takes into account the complicated, conflicted, and ongoing (even in its absence) relationship a woman has with her abuser.  Moreover, when race is centralized in the analysis, I argue that one can read complex statements about black women’s bodies as acceptable sites of abuse/violence in the U.S. and the media, as well as Rihanna’s own challenges to embodying that violence, both personally and more generically in the media, through her lyrics and visual images as attempts to reassert her own control personally, commercially, and politically.

 
Men Boys and Healing
Tuesday April 24 @ 7pm
Fong Auditorium

Boys and Men Healing is a documentary about the impact the sexual abuse of boys has on both the individual and society, and the importance of healing and speaking out for male survivors to end the devastating effects. The film portrays stories of three courageous non-offending men whose arduous healing helped them reclaim their lives—while giving them a powerful voice to speak out, and take bold action toward prevention for other boys.  The film includes a support group of men and is testimony to the importance of men finding safe places to support one another and share their stories together.

 
Haitian Panel
Date, time, location TBD

 
Candlelight Vigil
Wed April 25th @ 8pm
Memorial Church Steps

Join us as we close out the month of events with a Candlelight Vigil. This vigil is meant to literally and symbolically illuminate the darkness of abuse, domestic violence, and sexual assault. Survivors and allies are invited to share their stories in this confidential and supportive space.

A lot of fuss is being made this week about the importance of talking about sex. One guy walked around dressed in a giant vagina costume yesterday to prove that sex does not necessarily need to be relegated to the realm of the taboo or cast into the social periphery. The work that the organizers of Sex Week are doing is incredibly important, and I think we all owe them a great deal of thanks for encouraging an open and honest conversation.

But there’s something else I want to say:

Oftentimes when the topic of sex enters conversations, it does so with an urgency that is framed largely as it relates to sexual health practices and general medical dialogue. This is done for a number of reasons, but I suspect that it is primarily because this depoliticizes sex in such a way that avoids the hard work of grappling with the deeply political nature of the body.

I tend to see the importance of frank conversations about sex, gender, and sexuality in a more political way, in a light that stresses the urgency with which these topics must be addressed as they relate to concealed forms of domination and structural oppression. It’s my view that we too often avoid hard conversations that come close to revealing the deeply political way in which the body is policed in society, the way in which stigma and taboo place constraints on acceptable ways of discussing our bodies and, ultimately, acceptable ways of being.

Why is it, for example, that women who enjoy having sex are still called sluts in 2012? Why is it that men who don’t fall under a certain model of masculinity are so often called faggots? Why is being gay a bad thing, or at least a less desirable thing than being straight?

Why does Rihanna bother us? Why does Lady Gaga bother us? Why are there so many fewer female faculty members than male faculty members? What is the experience of transgender faculty members and students on campus?  (“Are there any?”)

Here’s one example specific to Harvard: Why is it ok that the primary social organizations on campus (read: alcohol and parties) are only open to men?—Except of course on the weekends, when women who are dressed to the men’s liking are allowed to enter the social scene as guests? Why is this ritualized weekend after weekend if everyone has a snide thing or two to say about it during the week?

These things are all related, and I don’t believe it is an accident that instances of structural oppression often occur along the same fault lines as concealed discourses regarding sex, sexuality, and gender. The more comfortable we are talking about ourselves, the more readily we can begin to engage in the hard conversations that continue to elude us as a society.

This is all to say that conversation is important, and while words can be incredibly destructive, they also carry with them the possible function of liberating us. The conversation Sex Week has the potential to spark on campus is incredibly significant; we must all take it upon ourselves to really consider what is being said, rather than ignoring it while we pick up our free condoms.

I guess what I mean to say is this: Onward! Let the giant vagina dance!