:: My Thoughts, My Secrets, My Sparks, My Rainbow ::

Good News And Bad News

2009-02-05T12:21:00.005+08:00

Good News: I already bought my own domain.

Please follow my new blog site here
http://lifeisfullofbeaches.com.

Bad news: I am sick. Again. =(

Stay happy and safe bloggers!
Because life is full of ~~b*tches~~ beaches!
Summer is coming! Yay!=)

Kidnap

2009-01-29T21:49:00.118+08:00

Where are we heading? You're not supposed to turn right here. My office is straight ahead.
Just relax. Stay calm. You're still in Makati.

There you go. I almost feel my heart jumping out in my chest. What did he mean by that? Ok ok. Vanny, calm down.

Hey! I knew it. This is the way to the airport, right? This can't be. No!
Yes, Vanny. Yes. Don't worry, I know you'll enjoy being with S and M. You need to be with us when we celebrate our new year. It is a family tradition.

He must be kidding me. I can't leave. I am not ready to leave. I don't have any clothes.

What am I going to wear when we got there?
That's not a problem. That's so easy. Mall exists Vanny. I bet S can handle that.

Er. Fine. Leaving your home without anything to bring? That's not a problem! At least according to him.

How about my work? I am not allowed to take a leave. I have so many things need to finish.
Don't worry, that's already handled also. Just stay, relax and enjoy the ride!

This is kidnapping! Er. I immediately SMS someone so special even though I know he can't reply because he's on his duty. I'm sorry for the late notice Hun. Again? Er.

Oh well. Enough about the Kidnap issue.

Xin Nian Kuai Le (Happy New Year)!
gong xi fa cai. wan shi ru yi. zhu li meng en! =)
be prosperous. may everything you do works out as you wished. God bless you.

Just sharing the photos. Will post the rest next time. I am soooo sooo tired. It's good to be back here.

Opps. The Master Mind of this kidnapping? Let me introduce to you.
Feeling emo - looking outside the condominium.

Oh, can you tell me why are you soooo purrrFect, J. Good thing you have Snoopy to serve as your bribe to me. Or else, I'll sue you. Harhar.

Busy Bumble Bee

2009-01-24T23:28:00.009+08:00

It's almost midnight and I just got home. Er. I mean, J's home. I am staying here since last Tuesday. *stretching my bones* Oh, I am really really tired. I am having my hell-week again in office. Over overtime. I am rendering overtime since Monday. I usually got home past 12 Midnight and I will be up by 6AM because I need to go to office by 7AM. Wheew.

Notice that I only have one hour in between, eh? 45minutes to fix myself and 15minutes travel time. That's the reason why I stay here in J's house. Near in office and whoohooO! I got a chinky-eyed-handsome but super sungit driver. Peace, J. 15minutes from Forbes Park to Ayala. Driving an sports car, that is not impossible! Plus his charismatic power when MMDA holds us. Haha. =)

I really need to sleep. I will come to work again tomorrow. OMG. I am working 7 days a week, 12 hours a day. *sigh* Work. Work. Work. Oh well, I am not complaining. Hunnie always tell me I am one big complainer. Haha.

Actually, I don't have the right to complain. The project I am handling now is overtime also. Meaning it's overdue. What happened to me last November causes the project to be idle. Oh well, I am the one who handle this project and no one took over it. Deadline is Dec 15. Since I am not available, they move to Jan 15. And that is last week. Due to technical reasons, we didn't meet it again.

And I was absent by the time we conduct System Acceptance Test. Why? I went to Davao to surprise visit my Hunnie. Haha. Model employee me. Sorry for the late notice Hun! Hehe. At first, I want to slap myself for doing the untimed visit. For a moment, I want to bury myself six feet under because I am scared Hunnie will get mad at me. Good thing his friends are really accommodating. Hi Choco! ;)

My rice meal after 6 days which I need to eat or else Hunnie will punch me. Haha.

My Hunnie is so sweet, isn't he? He brought this breakfast. Fried rice, burger pattie, scrambled egg and a fork. Missing anything? Haha. Just a fork. No Spoon! Er. Fine fine. It's McDo crew's fault. Don't blame your Hunnie, V! And what he always tell you, don't complain. Lolx. ;)

Btw, my eyes is aching again. I really really need to sleep now. But I can't sleep because someone is mad at me right now and we are just two rooms away. I really don't know what to do. And I don't know what to say also. :( Unless Chinese New Year will be postpone, everything will be on time. Lolx. Or next option I'll force Sissy Mimay to do a big big favor for me. Besides, Shobe wanted to meet you in person. Haha. LoveYou Sis!

Goodbye Na Nga Ba?

2009-01-15T02:20:00.001+08:00

Naisip ko lang, paano kaya kung hindi ako natutong mag blog? Umiiyak kaya ako sa mga oras na to gaya ng nangyayari ngayon?

Pano kaya kung hindi ko sinunod si B nung sinabi nyang bumalik na ako dito? Pano kaya kung hindi ako nagdere deretso sa tulay na itinuro nya sa akin? Paano kaya kung pinagpilitan kong sumama kay B nung nasa heaven kami? Paano kaya kung pinairal ko na naman ang pagiging matigas ang ulo at pagiging bratinella nung mga sandaling pinapabalik na nya ako pero pinagpipilitan kong manatili sa tabi nya?

Eh di sana hindi ko iniisip ngayon na paano kaya kung hindi ako natutong mag blog.

Anong koneksyon? Basta.

B, gaya ng sabi ko sayo nung dinalaw kita dyan sa heaven, hindi ako suicidal. Hindi ako quitter. Pero bakit mo sinabi sa akin na pag bumalik ako dito magiging maayos na lahat ng problema ko? Sabi mo magiging masaya na ako pag bumalik ako. Hindi naman pala. Ang daya daya mo. Sinabi mo lang pala yun kasi ayaw ko pang bumalik. Madaya ka.

Buh-Bye KK

2009-01-12T19:52:00.003+08:00

V: Ano'ng New Year's resolution mo?
R: I'll try to be wiser this year. At try ko na ring maging pasensyosa. SANA IKAW DIN!

Aww. I love you so much gurl! Do you mean anything with that? At kelangan talaga merong sana-ikaw-din phrase with exclamation point?! =)

V: Pasensya? Er. I'll try. But I don't think I am a slave of pasensya. Haha. Maybe I'll try na lang na hindi umabot sa credit limit ko everytime na mag shopping ako. Haha.
R: Uhmm. That's a good idea. Go Gurl. And good luck sa'yo. I surely doubt you can keep that one.

Hala. Walang tiwala sa akin na kaya ko yun. Pero kaya ko nga ba?

V: Kaya lang parang mas madali maging pasensyosa kesa sa sinabi ko ah. Pero kaya ko yan. Di naman counted as credit card ang debit card di ba? Haha.

And yes. Di ko nga kinaya kasi pag kauwi ko pa lang sa Manila galing Subic eh na-break ko na agad yung New Year's Resolution ko. Sa body Shop pa lang, halos kalahi na agad ako sa CL ko. Haha. Nag shopping ng pampaarte sa katawan. But it's ok. Sabi nga ng Body Shop, Love Your Body!. Pero di naman ako selfish. Binilhan ko din kasi mga friends ko na nakalimutan ko regaluhan last Christmas. =)

So when I got home, I decided to change my New Year's resolution. Last year, I prohibit myself from drinking soda - Yep, I did not take any soda for one year, even a single sip of it. And also beer - but my Hunnie tried to break that. Nilagay nya yung bottle ng beer sa mouth ko and did not remove it hanggat di ako nag take kahit isang sip lang. Sweet noh? Haha. Love you hun! Pero that's the only time I got the taste of beer for 2008. I always order cocktails when I go out. Mas magastos. Haha.

Back to my New Year's resolution. This year, I will prohibit myself from eating DOUGHNUT. Can you believe it? I already say Buh-bye to my heavenly Krispy Kreme? Oh well, sana kayanin ko. Haha. I am a dougnut lover. Sooobra! I always ask a friend to bring Krispy Kreme everytime he visits me at my office. And almost every morning, doughnut ng Country Style ang breakfast ko. Not just one, but two. Haha. Takaw.

Kaya ang consequence eh mabilis ako mag gain ng weight even I skip lunch. And for the record, I gained two inches in my waistline after what happened to me last November. Imbes na pumayat ako, lalo pa ako tumaba. So as part of my "regain-your-body" regimen, I'll say NO to doughnuts this year 2009. =)

And I noticed kasi na mas nagiging sexy na si Karmi sa akin lalo na sa post na ito --> Sexy ni Mimay. Kaya kelangan kong i-defend ang title ko. Hehe. Kiddin'. Love you sis! =)

So Tiny Yet So Big

2009-01-08T21:23:00.002+08:00

Last night, I had my first nightmare for the year 2009. Five bullets entered my body through my back. And one bullet through my head. The gunman? Still the man with the mask. =(

When can I have a sleep that I can consider a really good night sleep? *sigh*

Speaking of sleep and nightmare, I wanna greet my Tiny Bear a happy 3rd birthday. =)

She's so tiny, eh? Lolx. She was given by B last January 8, 2006. He gave me this for my birthday because I always complain that I can't sleep alone. That I am sooo afraid to sleep alone because of those d*mn nightmares. Yeah, I am having bad dreams for more than three years now. =(

So that's it! He gave me this and told me that Tiny Bear will always be by my side when I sleep. ;)

So sweet. I miss my sweetest brother. *sigh*

Three Kings

2009-01-05T19:59:00.007+08:00

I still can't forget the countless "I hate you!" or the unending "Why are you here?" or the screaming "Get out of my room!" I said to him when we are still aged 7 to 10. He always went to our house and eat my Koko Crunch - he's just my neighbor! He, together with my brother, will dribble the basketball in my head or will make me a target of their pellet guns. Such a heartless boy, isn't it? I didn't imagine that that Chinese heartless boy will be the one who will give me the meaning of CARE more than Webster can define it. And he will be the one who will give everything - more than a real family can offer. From a villain to my hero - that's my King J.
J, thanks for always being there. And again, thanks for the sunflowers. I really love it. You still know how to cheer me up in a simple way. I am so thankful I have you, including your family. Thanks for staying awake when I am sleeping in the hospital. Sorry I am still the coward little girl you used to teased. We gonna visit your bestfriend B before you go back to LA, ok? =)

I knew this guy for only three years. I met him in my first work. At first, we didn't click - no chemistry at all. Until we became teammates. The rest is history. Haha. Panget! I'm being too careful in what to write about you. Seriously, my dear R is one of the people I trust most. He's always ready to leave his office every time I am in trouble - even just a simple reason that I need someone who will carry my baggage. My second king, my bodyguard. Lolx.
R, thanks for tolerating my bratinella attitude. Haha. I always adore your kakulitan. Thanks for putting a smile on my face even I felt like crying. And yes, I am so sure you ain't gonna escape my controversial world. Harhar. Tell your gf I kicked your *ss off from my house last time you hide there because of your teeny weeny LQ. Haha. See you again R.

I knew from the start that we gonna hit the precious friendship thinggy. Not because we are always suffering from emotional crisis. Haha. But because we are both b*tches. Yeah, my third king is a b*tch. B*tch to the point that he know how to hide/show the b*tch on me. His name is one of the few names that will automatically pop on my mind if I hear the word CHILL. Knowing him is like partying everyday! That's my third king, my clown in a million. ;)
R, thanks for putting colors in my everyday life. Too bad we don't see each other as much as we wanrted to. But it's ok. No matter what happen, I know you are just SMS away. I miss you so much R! I miss our Krispy Kreme bonding!

That's my three kings. Tell me I'm lucky to have them. Tell me! haha. Then kick me 'cause sometimes I still feel alone. Bad Vanny. Hey V, don't let what you want forget what you have. So hardheaded. Tsk tsk.

Since I am a self-confessed hardheaded, I will add one prince to my three kings - My Prince Frogi. =)
I miss you so much hunnie! Hey hun, do you still remember the time you told me that I should not skip meal? And I shouldn't be too lazy to eat? Oh well Hunnie, why don't you internalize what you said before, huh? Grrr. Don't be too lazy to eat hun! You're a nurse, remember? Gonna go there and I'll make sure you're eating proper meal!

Happy three kings bloggers! =)

Merry Christmas

2008-12-26T14:41:00.006+08:00

Merry Christmas to all of you. =)

I am having a terrible headache. I still feel a little bit dizzy every time I stand in a crowd. I am having a bad cold and cough. I am having an earache that's why I can't hear that much. I am having difficulty in seeing bright things. Merry Christmas.

The family problem I am whining since prehistoric time is still a problem and could possibly become worse. It will surely explode tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. After that explosion, maybe the family I ever used to call will not be a family anymore. Merry Christmas.

I did not able to go to my ever dearest bestfriend's birthday last Dec. 24 because I am not allowed to go out. Too sad I don't own my own time for now. Merry Christmas.

It's Christmas and our fifth monthsary. But we are miles apart. He's there. And I am here. He can't go here because of work. I can't go there because of my situation. I celebrated my Noche Buena inside my room - alone. He celebrated his Noche Buena in the hospital - with his patients. Merry Christmas.

Dec. 29 is coming - my 23rd birthday. Hunnie still can't go here. We still can't be together. I wanna insist; I want him to be here. But I can't. I am so afraid. I don't want him to get mad again. I don't want to do any mistake that might heat up his head and get mad at me. Besides, I need to understand. That's the nature of his job. Merry Christmas.

Last few months ago, we talked about that. I told him that he need to be here. I wanted to be with him on my birthday. I really really wanted to. Because that's my only wish since ever - that I could celebrate my birthday with my special someone. But still not granted. Yeah, I understand. I need to. And I will continue understanding it. Even it didn't showed like I understand it all. Merry Christmas.

I still can't get rid of the bad thoughts inside my head. I don't know if this is what you call trauma or just simply paranoia? Whatever it is, I know that I really really miss him. Merry Christmas.

Shobe and my Senyorita M will be back to LA day before my birthday. Nice one. Nice gift. But still, I need to understand. Because they are not the one who holds their own time, too. That is not their plan. Merry Christmas.

My super J still don't know what to do. Er. I mean, he still don't know what his father want to do. Would he also be back in LA together with his sisters? Too bad LA exists in the world. Merry Christmas.

Nightmares still hunts me everytime I try to sleep. The very same guy that wanted to stab me with his sharp knife is still running after me. The bullets that killed someone also wanted to enter my body. The monkeys who brutally pulling my hair until my head bleeds are still there. The dogs still wanted to eat me alive. The bald guy who hides inside my cabinet is still there and will surprisingly show when I am getting my dress for a party. Nightmares. Oh nightmares. Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas Vanny! This would be the happiest Christmas you ever had. T_T

PS.
Sorry to all who worried so much. Thank you for all the love and care. Bloggers, sorry if I moved our EB on January. Hope to see you all there. I'll be back again maybe first week of January. Have a happy new year bloggers!

Oh, let me blab first my accomplishment for the year 2008. Yeah, accomplished my New Year's resolution. No soda for the whole 2008. Yey. I did it. =)

Hey Shobz, who gave you the permission to post your pictures here? You wanted to be hit? LovesYou Shobs. Thanks for messing in my blog. Lox.

Am I PG?

2008-12-13T23:51:00.007+08:00

Time always tic-tac so fast. I didn't notice that I am here again in Philippines for almost one month. Are we celebrating Christmas here? We still don't know. Come what may. ;)

But I am not writing about our not-so-planned vacation. I just feel I am craving. For what? I really don't know. All I know is I am craving for something.. urgh. I don't know. Something delicious!

Btw, just sharing some foods I really love to eat. ~_^

Sweet Fruity Snow =)

Doughnuts!
(always source of Ate Vanny's tampo to me 'coz I always ate her share. Lolx.)

Our usual dinner (~_~)
Before I face my laptop, I ate Kare-kare. But before I ate kare-kare, I ate eggpie and barbeque - not a good partner, though it's yhum-yhum. But I am still not satisfied. Harhar. I am such a terrible eater. Excuse my katakawan. Lolx.

Want a proof? Here we go.

And yep, I love Fishballs! =)
Oppss. So much pictures. Ate Vanny might scold me when she see this. LovezYouSooMucches Ate! ^__^

Nytnyt. I can smell the noodles I asked Y to cook, the only one who can tolerate my katakawan - 'coz she's also matakaw. Lolx. Wait, about the title - Am I PG? Patay Gutom. Lolx =)

Xiexie,

Shobe

Xmas Tree

2008-12-05T23:49:00.002+08:00

I saw in the news lately the boastful Christmas tree around the world. Different sizes, different colors, diffrent materials.

So I am sharing the newest trendy Christmas tree of yours truly. Lolx. ^^__^^

*Image taken outside of my classroom, last day of my being High School. =)

~:~ Advance Merry Christmas fellas! ~:~

Xiexie,

Shobe

Guest Author

2008-12-04T00:26:00.004+08:00

Hi everyone! This is Shobe. I will be your guest blogger for i-don't-know-how-long 'coz ate Vanny is on leave. =)

Oh crap. It's a blog culture to introduce yourself on your first post, isn't it?

I am name removed (ate Vanny don't name names here on her blog, so let just keep it that way). My family call me Shobe (means youngest daughter). A pure Chinese, Pinay at heart.

I am ate Vanny's ~~cousin~~ ~~family friend~~ cousin. We usually call ourselves as cousins, besides being family is not necessarily by blood, ayt?

I am taking up BS-BA in University of California, Los Angeles. I just came here in Philippines last week together with our Senyorita M and Master J. We flew back here as soon as we heard of the shocking news about.. you know what I mean. She's getting ok, and will get better very soon. Don't worry too much.

I am with ate Vanny since we are a kid. Actually, we are seven in our so-called gang. Now we're just five. Kuya B and my brother are with Papa Jesus since last year. But we always know they are still with us, if not physically, at least by emotionally.

We all knew each other for more than 13 years now. So many memories being cherished. Every details are memorized - from our street playing to eating corn in the fields to picking up sunflowers in our yard up to covering each others' mess and doing charity acts.

Opps. Did I already mention that I am gang's talking parrot? Because I talk a loooooot. Hmm. One thing I am so sure on how to describe ate Vanny - she is our CRY BABY. Ever since! It's like she has tons of tears in her eyes. When she starts to cry, expect an unending tears until her eyes got chinky. Tsk tsk.

Shhh. Ate Vanny is sleeping. Ok ok. I'll zip my mouth now. I'll blog hop tomorrow. (-__-)

Xiexie,

Shobe

Hibernation Started Again

2008-11-19T02:14:00.003+08:00

Hi there. Pardon me for invading this blog. Actually this is my 2nd post here in my jiejie's blog. That's the time I wrote a surprise post to ate Vanny for a certain event.

But this time, This post is for the readers. I want to ask all of you for a help. Please pray for my ate Vanny.

zhu ni zaori kangfu, jie jie Vanny. wo men bu hui pao qi ni de. ni xi huan ma? wo men hui yong yuan shi ni de jia ren. wo men ai ni.

Shobe.

Favor-ite

2008-11-16T11:43:00.008+08:00

It's not a secret that I am big fan of SNOOPY. I really really love snoopy. Actually, it's weird that I don't know the story of snoopy yet I love it. Er. Confusing? ;)

I think I already blab the story behind it. But it's in my old blog, my disappearing blog. So just for fun, I'll blab it again. I started collecting snoopy stuffs since 3rd year High School. I got mad at a friend who supposedly will fetch me at my house early in the morning but he didn't able to because he woke up late. For his peace offering, he gave me a snoopy stuff toy. Then he teased me asking "Who is the favorite dog of Mickey Mouse?"

After he said that, I burst a big laugh. Because that question is the same question I received when we are playing The Weakest Link in our school. Then I scream a super dooper confident answer - SNOOPY!!! In other words, I'm the weakest link. Poor Vanny. But nice job, my dear B.

Oh, this post is not about snoopy. Last Friday, my officemate asked me what will i do with these stuffs.

coin purse

cellphone pouch
cellphone accessory
Oh, don't get me wrong. I still have snoopy in these stuffs, ayt? Snoopy will always be snoopy for me. There's no doubt. But I bought these stuffs 'cause I badly miss my Prince Frogi. I hope you can feel that. =(

So long bloggers! Happy Sunday! =)

Er. I almost forgot to blab. I will be watching Rihanna and Chris Brown Concert tonight with my college friends. Original plan is I will watch it with him, but too bad something went wrong. Oh well. I really really really miss you.

Hibernation Failed

2008-11-12T22:32:00.007+08:00

I received an expected-but-i-am-afraid-slash-thrilled-to-answer long distance phone call early this morning. Early, as in early. 3 o'clock in the morning. Er. * Guys, I told you to be fair. I bet you all know our time difference, ayt? *

Expected because I'm so sure Shobe read my last post and she'll tell J about this. Afraid because I am sooo sure that they will insist again (for more than a hundred times) about the vacation they are offering. Thrilled because I know ~~almost~~ all of my problems will be handled ..using their less word (whatever it means, it's just us who understand it).

The call lasted for more than an hour. But it feels like just a few minutes. Hours is not enough to talk about these crazy thoughts in my (and their) mind. The last words J uttered are still spinning in my head now.

Be well, ok? Or else, I will go back there in the Philippines and I'll prove to you that my offer is still available.

So, I need to be OK so that their offer will be forfieted. Well, I am ok. Really, I am ok. Super duper ok. Er. V, you are a terrible liar.

But I think they are right. Why would I let myself suffer? Why would I make myself so miserable by locking myself in my not-so-organize room? Why would I let my eyes sore by crying all day and all night long? Why would I let my problems turn me down? If I can stand up and let everyone know that I am VANNY.

No one can stop that. No one can stop ME from being ME. Even those harsh words, even those big problems, even those people who turn me down. Even those people who I thought will not loose their grip on me. Even Los Angeles, California. Haha. Just kiddin' guys. *wink*

I almost forgot that I have the greatest non-biological family. Thanks so much people. For always being there. You are the best gift I ever had. And forever I will have. =)

If I have lots of problems, it doesn't mean I will be down. If I say I will not continue, it doesn't mean that I will stop. If I say that I am tired, it doesn't mean that I will rest. And lastly if I say I am weak, it doesn't mean that I am not strong. I guess I am still the same. The ~~simple~~ ~~complex~~ simple(???) yet complicated girl.

And if I say I won't go with all of you, it doesn't mean that I don't want to. It's just that I am not yet ready to leave this polluted town. Haha. And you know that I can''t leave him.. them. Love you all guys! =)

About Fare and Fair

2008-11-08T00:40:00.009+08:00

One minute ago, I was talking to my deary gurl over the phone.

We had some chitter chatter thinggy. She sound sooo tired because of OT. So I teased her. A tease that made me shock, too, after bursting those words.

You're rendering overtime so that you'll earn money for my fare to LA, huh?

And what she said?

Sorry, you chose this path. So suffer from your decision not so long time ago.

Then now, as I am digesting our conversation, I am thinking that why would I let myself suffer from that decision? If the offer is still available, right J? Ohh. LA. My very sweet temptation for my very sweet escape to everything in this freaking problems.

If B didn't allow me to go to his province, Quezon, just like what he told me in my dream when I am lying in an awkward white bed then maybe he'll be happy to see me I am with the people with an open arms that we love and trust more than the words "love" and "trust" can offer.

But hey, stop it. I am afraid that decision is not fair. So I think I'll just come to you, B. Not fair because.. Wait. But.. But.. Vacation in LA is not bad, ayt? Er. Fine fine. The offer is not just a vacation. It is somethinglike lifetime vacation. Oh yes. I am so fickle minded. =(

PS.
Please bear with me. I will hibernate. I don't want to. But I need to.

Full Stop

2008-10-28T17:38:00.004+08:00

I'm back. (obviously, V.)

Wheew. Is this for good? I hope so.

Is that mean I solved the problems that's occupying my mind since ever? Er. Kinda. Some ~~problems~~ issues are resolved already. Some are still longing for the solution, some questions still wait for the answers to come along.

But what am I doing? Hmm. I don't know. Maybe there are lot of things that's running in my mind, lots of things I need to prioritize. Lots of issues I need to settle down.

And one question I really need to find an answer. Am I true to myself when I burst out the line no fulfillment at all? I am hoping against hope here.. That maybe I belong to the denial-queen-clan that's why I reacted like that. Oh well. Stop this, V. You shouldn't talking about this in your blog. He might.. Er. Stop. Don't give any clue.

But how's me, anyway? I AM NOT OK. That's it. At least I'd able to say it.

Those problems I am blabbing with my B are still problems. Although M is trying to fix it, I know, sooner or later, D will discover about this.

The issue about the unending issue is still bugging me. He is still bugging me! For Christ's sake!!!

The inevitable behavior of J is still hurting me. I want to ignore it, but how can I if.. if.. if.. *sigh* can't say it after all.

Urgghh. I don't know how will I end this post.

Maybe a period will do. Period. A FULL STOP.

Can I?

2008-10-23T22:29:00.003+08:00

Dear B (again),

This would be so short. Just one question. Why did you left me us?

I always asked you before when I have nowhere to go, can I just stay with you?

I still remember the first time you saved my day when they left me in the middle of the field. I have noone to talk to and nowhere to go. I am so thankful you're there that sunny day. I asked you if I can come with you in your house because they left me all alone.That time we're only 7 years old and that's the beginning of everything. The time that I realized that you are not the silly boy I used to believe.

I also remember your promise that you will never ever leave me alone. Is that the reason why you always visit me in my dreams?

And now, I don't know who will I confide this problems and decisions I needed to settle. No one to talk to. Nowhere to go to. One year of you nonexistence is really hard for me. Sooo much.

Can I just stay with you, B? Don't worry, I won't bite your ears again. Promise. =(

B and S

2008-10-15T22:11:00.007+08:00

Dear B,

How are you? I know Papa Jesus is taking good care of you there. Did He let you and R play ragnarok there in heaven? If so, I do hope you and R is not fighting, huh? And hey, don't piss the angels there, ok? Be a good boy. Remember, Papa Jesus is just around. ;)

I am here in your guestroom. Ok ok. Don't get mad. I'm here in MY bedroom. I really miss the time when you get mad when I say I'll just sleep in the guestroom 'cause you want me to call it MY room. Then I just laugh out loud because I can see your nostril become sooo big when you are getting mad. I'm such a kiddo, huh? Because you're a kiddo too! Bleeh! :p

Oh, how's me? I'm ok. Not totally ok, though. I'm having fever since Monday. But don't worry, I'm a big girl now. It's just... *sigh* Now I failed when I say to myself that I won't cry when I talk to you. But what can I do? I really really miss your presence. I really miss you being by my side when I want to talk to someone.

Yeah. At this moment, I need someone to talk to. Let say that I am in the middle of BIG decision making now. I just don't know what to do. What should I say. And another thing, I am having this weird dream again. You know, just like before. The weirdest dream of all. Last is, the same old problem with J's friend. I am sooo afraid D will get mad. I just don't know how will I handle it.

Oh, how about him? Yeah, I tried to talk to him about this. He's busy with his own stuff. I tried again but we had something to fix before I had the chance to open up again. The couple's usual normal fights. Err. Ok ok. Not so normal fights. That's what you call the fights I started. Haha. Your such a bully, B. You know, the nurse's unusual time schedule. I bet you know it. You're supposed to be one of those handsome nurses in white uniform. So sad there's no chance for the both of you to meet each other. But I'll ask him to come with me to visit you if he's here in Metro, ok?

Btw, I had dinner with K, R, S, J and M last week in our favorite Itallian resto. Oh, don't be shocked. We're all together again, huh? If you only knew how hard it is to try to put their asses together in a dinner. It is way too harder than playing Uno. Err. What am I saying?

Maybe I need to sleep, eh? Wait. Do all of you sleep up there in heaven? Silly me. C'mon B, I'm just asking. Well, goodnight. I'll visit your paradise tomorrow, ayt? Happy 16th day of the month, my B. I badly miss having you as my best friend and brother in one.

PS.
Please tell Papa Jesus to guide all people I love. And one more request, ask Him don't let the sky rain tomorrow please? I feel soooo sad when it rains. You don't want your paradise to be tears-flooded, ayt? ;)

Missing you so much,

Your S

My Past And My Present

2008-10-11T13:52:00.012+08:00

I hate to compare but sometimes you need to. For you to know the pros and cons of having the past and the present. But what I am afraid of comparing is.. what if I realized I am more comfortable in my past? What should I do with my present?

Err. What are talking about, V?! Lolx.

Don't panic. I am just talking about my notebook. My past notebook which is Dell Inspiron 710m and my present notebook which is Sony Vaio VGN-SR13GN.

My past

OS: Windows XP Home SP2 Edition
Processor: Intel Pentium M 755 / 1.7 GHz
Hard Disk: 80 GB Serial ATA 5400rpm
Memory: 1GB (2x512) DDR
Display: 12.1" Wide 1280x800
Color: Silver
Other features: WLAN, Ultralight (4.6 lbs) and being my first laptop =)

My Present

OS: Windows Vista Business
Processor: Intel® Core™2 Duo Processor P8400 (2.26 GHz)
Hard Disk: 250 GB Serial ATA 5400rpm
Memory: 4GB DDR2 SDRAM
Display: 13.3" Wide 1280x800
Color: Light Pink
Other features: WLAN, WebCam, Fingerprint Sensor, Bluetooth, Switch Function

Click Here for more information about my new laptop. ;)

***
Yeah yeah. I know. My new laptop is way too much better than my old laptop. But you know, like what others always tell us, first love never dies. My old laptop is the one with me when I developed the first website in my first job as a web developer. My old laptop is with me when I first blab my first entry in my blog. My old laptop is with me when I first blah blah blah.

Whatever, V. Too much firsts. Move on. Yesterday finished last night. Harhar. Mushy mushiness! Lolx. =) But I know I'll be at ease soon using my new ala-Legally Blonde notebook.

But what I really wanna say is I am having difficulty in using Windows Vista. And the keyboard of my new laptop, it's kinda awkward for me to code my program with kinda "distant" keys, unlike in my Dell. That's all. Haha. =)

Oh, both notebook is from my Dad. I'm such a lucky girl I don't need Santa Claus, huh? :p

My Visitor

2008-10-06T19:16:00.003+08:00

Commercial break is over. As what my bessy told me, the show must go on. =)

After shouting here in my blog, now a smile in my face can't fade away. Haha. You know, I am the queen of the mood swing. Lolx. =)

Why am I happy? Hmmm. Let me put it this way. Who would think that wishing in a blog will come true? Yep. My wish that he is here came true. Isn't it nice to be with someone you love when you are so lonely? Yeah hun, your hunnie is so mushy. Haha.

The moment I am with him, I absolutely forgot the.. err. what is that something I need to forget? Can't remember anymore. I totally forgot about it. Lolx.

All I know is.. uhmm.. last weekend is sooo amazing! ;)

Friday night, we went to ~~Embassy Bar~~ Prince of Jaipur Bar, The Fort. The original plan was Embassy but the jinx attacked us. Or should I say Alzheimer's disease attacked us? Haha. We forgot to bring ID! Hell yeah. We're not allowed to enter the bar even we're on the guest list 'cause we don't have our ID with us. Ok ok. Jaipur is the next option.

But it was still fun. Right hun? But I really bet that you and Mr. J really had more fun because of lots of baby chicken. Toinks! Haha. :D

Saturday, a little chilling (chill? Under the sun, chill?! Haha) at starbucks. Tsk. Forgot to take a picture of how they spelled my precious name.

A little stroll in Glorietta, a little shopping in Rustan's. Yeyy! I already have the Havaianas limited edition - pink illusion swirls. ;)

Actually when we are in Rustan's I am having the dilemma to choose between the two design: Illusion Swirls or Flash. And thanks to my hunnie for helping me to decide. His word? "Is that a problem? Buy both of it." Best advise, isn't it? Lolx. Thanks for the support, hun! Haha. =)

A little post-lunch at KR. A ~~little~~ lot of running under the ~~rain~~ storm along Ayala Avenue. We ran from Enterprise Bldg to Jaka Bldg until we reached Krispy Kreme. Can you imagine that? I am running with him under the stormy sky with a twist of lighting and thunder? Soo sweet. Lolx. =)

Though, it was fun. Soooo much! Thanks for the visit hun. Who says that 960 kilometers will be a hindrance to us? ^^___^^

Commercial Break

2008-09-28T10:50:00.000+08:00

I have nothing to say to you.

So can you please LEAVE ME ALONE!

If you are having trouble now, don't expect any help from me.

What you are going through is what you call KARMA.

I thought I already see the worst you.

Yet what I saw is not just any bit compare to your real malevolence.

For your own sake, HAVE FEAR IN GOD!!!

I am really really ashamed I called you a friend once in my life.

P.S.
Yes bloggers, I am ok. I just can't help it but to shout. Because a MONSTER is bugging me again.
Hunnie, I hope you're here to tell me everything will be pretty fine.

Chema's By The Sea Resort

2008-09-26T18:44:00.008+08:00

Chema's By The Sea Resort is one of the best beach I ever visited. It's location? Limao, Samal Island. Yeah yeah. I leave Luzon, at last! Yeeey! Thanks for the opportunity, Hun. =)

Calm water. White sand. Nice view. Great food. Peaceful and serene.

Who wouldn't get hook on this place?

Just sharing the pictures.. =)

Nature, Oh, Nature. =)

The infinity salt water pool.

I can still remember how you explained to me why is it called INFINITY.
You're sooo sweet, aren't you? Haha.

The jetski that makes me tired SCREAMING. Lolx.

The paradise overlooking the city.

The rest house where the best breakfast happened.

Sea shells decoration. Forget to get one. ~~Bad~~ Tempted Vanny. Haha.

I'm trying to capture the better scene, then he made the BEST scene by this. =)

Looks like my feet want exposures too. Lolx.

Leaving the paradise. But it's ok. I'm with my ADAM. Haha.
Happy weekend guys! And yes, I know what weekends mean now. Yeey!

Best Breakfast

2008-09-24T09:18:00.009+08:00

I mentioned here before that I am not a breakfast person. I just don't wanna eat as I woke up. For me, lunch and dinner is just the meal for my day. But last weekend I had the best breakfast I ever ate.

What's the content of the breakfast? Just look at the pictures.

Just a plain breakfast, isn't it? Tapa and tocino. Then what's so special about it?

It's not what we ate.
It's just now that I realized that it's a good thing he don't like a sunny-side-up egg because in that case, he know what is his' and I know what is mine. Lolx. And yeah yeah, I finished my meal. I ate even his tocino left over. Haha. Because he let me. Oh no, he command me to. I swear, when he say eat, I have nothing to do but to eat. Even that ~~yucky~~ yummy(?) fruit. =)

It's not where we ate.
Don't get me wrong, the place is amazing. It's supppper nice. And yeah, I should believe him at first that beaches in his place is being sweep by the caretakers. Lolx. The place is really calming. Especially the wind charm, remember? =)

It's not how we ate.
Admit it, it's nearly a breakfast-in-bed, ayt? Or you just bring the food in bed because I am too lazy to rise up and cats will eat it outside? Haha. Err. Whatever. I really appreciate the way he took care of me. He's so caring. And.. Sweet? Hmm. Lemme think of it. Kidding. Yeah yeah.. He is sooo sweet. Just like me. Haha. =)

So, what makes that breakfast so sooo special?

It's the person I am with when I am eating that meal. And even whatever we eat, wherever we eat, however we eat, as long as I am with him, everything, I mean EVERYTHING, will be sooo special.. Because I know I am with him and nothing will compare to that. =)

Vanny Is Busy

2008-09-15T21:59:00.005+08:00

Who said so?! :) Err. I admit. I'm still kinda occupied. Busy with the finishing touches of my program.

Oh, anyone can guess what's on the picture? Lolx.

I'm half busy because I really really bet Ayala Malls badly miss me. Haha.

I spent my weekend in office and malls. Friday night, after work around 9pm (still OT, huh?) I met my gurlfriend in Glorietta. We bought some stuffs after we had our dinner, a huge burger dinner.

Then we had our usual coffee-bonding. And do our routine - the sinful eye-exercise. Lolx. And look, that night I am baptized as RANI. Err. I think the hunky barista need to clean his ears. Peace. :p

Saturday, I still went to office and do the support for the sanity testing of my so-famous system. After work, I head off to Greenbelt and bought some stuffs.

Sunday, I still went to office (what's new?) to fix some issues after sanity testing. I leave office by 3pm and went to Wensha Spa with my ever dearest cousin. We had our body pampered and yes it is so damn good to relax. ;)

It's my first time in a spa house and I really enjoyed it. For only 1,200, I availed whole body scrub with body massage. But too bad, I didn't finished the body massage 'cause I can't take it anymore. Why? TICKLE issue. Haha. Every part of my body is so tickle sensitive, even my palm! Err.

Anyway, all guests of Wensha Spa has the privilege of unlimited use of all amenities there including the jacuzzi, steam bath, sauna room, pool and a lot more. Plus, free food - buffet and shabu-shabu. And another thing, you can stay there for 12 hours! Isn't it nice? ^^__^^

Later in this morning, a friend asked me if it's true that it is totally naked when you use the jacuzzi/steam bath/sauna room. Yes. It is! Totally naked. Haha. But some of the girls there are having difficulty to show their body. How about me and my cousin? Haha. Ok ok. Gonna drop that topic. :D

Goodnight bloggers!

PS.
Can anyone tell me where can I buy the limited edition pink Spiral Illusion havainas? Size 5. Can't find one. They only have big sizes. Waaaah. :(

Yow-Nuts

2008-09-10T20:10:00.004+08:00

I am back. Finally. Yey. I really miss being here. Thanks for patiently waiting. =)

Where did I go? Hmm. I kinda visited my doctor, Dr. James. 0_o And yes, he is my doctor. Oopps. Did I mentioned that he is my doctor? Ohh.. yeah. I already mentioned that Dr. James is my doctor. Hey wait, did I? You want me to repeat that Dr. James is my doctor? Ok ok. I'll repeat. Dr. James is my doctor. Haha. *crazy me*

So much about Dr. James (yes, I visited my doctor. He is myyyy doooctor! =)). Anyway, I'm soo proud to say that I already finished the system that made me busier than a busy bee. We really really worked hard on it. More than so much. ^__^

Just a brief info about our project. It's the system that the whole company will use for the benefits of both local and international clients. Mind you, we are given just two months to finish it, including the brainstorming part down to testing up to data migrating and deploying the system online. And yes, we did it! To think that developing a large system like that takes more than 8 months. =)

And now, I am back. With lots of Krispy Kreme doughnuts. ^^___^^

A very eager creature gave me those Doughnuts as a peace offering. And yes, it has three New York Cheese Cake! My fave among the rest. Am I so obvious that I am a crazy doughnut-gurl?

You really know how sweet bribe works, huh? Thank you sooo much behbeh! When will you deliver the next box? Lolx. Loveyou! =)

And to my Sayable Sissy S, thanks for pissing me off. Err. I mean, thanks for always being there. And darlz, my answer to your question last night is one big YES! Haha. Oh, darling, don't even have the guts to ask WHY. You're such a nuts! Lolx. LoveYou moochie darlz! =)

Ooops. Thanks also to.. err. What code name will I give to you? Blank-message-sender? Mr. D-Addict? Ahh. Never mind. Thank you for the youngest snoopy. Love it! Gonna post it here next time. And thanks for staying up the whole night with me when I visited Doctor James. So sweet. As sweet as my Sissy S. You two really clicked together. Oh, did I say that you and Sissy S are such a pain-ass?! Kiddin. :p