photo credit: PieDogMedia

Making friends is not always easy- so here’s a step-by-step guide on how to make the right moves. What’s more, this advice will help you make friends anytime, anywhere.

Here goes…

Step 1

Identify the person you want to make friends with- Look through the roomful of people or area full of people and decide whom you’d like to befriend.

Step 2

Once you have recognised your intended target, establish eye contact and smile at him or her warmly.

NOTE: Your smile must be heartfelt; a fake smile is easily noticeable and is off-putting. If you don’t know how to smile genuinely at random people, try this trick- fool yourself into thinking you are looking at a close friend of yours or think of your close friends and then proceed to smile.

Step 3

You will find out how they will reciprocate as you smile at them. Their smile is a dead giveaway, if it is friendly and genuine- they are most likely to be open to communicating with you.

How do you know if their smile is genuine? Cop this awesome lesson straight out of a body language manual: a genuine smile results in the jaw and cheek movements creating creases along the eyes similar to crow’s feet. A fake smile uses only the muscles at the corners of the mouth.

Step 4

Now, it is your cue to say something. Remember the onus lies on you to take this forward.

It is best to something that will resonate with the person. For example, if the weather is really hot and the person is wiping off sweat, something like- “God, it’s really hot! Isn’t it?” would have the highest chance of working. Keep your tone of voice as friendly as possible.

Step 5

If the person replies, go ahead and start a conversation. Again, let the conversation be something situation- specific. The situation you share is what binds the both of you. To develop the example a little further, supposing you both are at a friend’s party- so, once the person agrees emphatically with you about the heat, you can steer the conversation toward how he/she knows your friend.

Maintain eye contact while talking and add a generous helping of warm smiles whenever appropriate.

Step 6

Remember not to inundate the person with information. Do not keep talking. A conversation is a dialogue between two people not one person harping on in a monologue.

So, create a situation in which both of you share equal information.

To do this is simple- make open ended statements that allow the other person to add their own observations.

Refer to the first example I have given- there is a reason why it is- “God, it’s really hot! Isn’t it?” instead of just “God, it’s really hot!”

Step 7

Pay attention to the person throughout the time you have with them. Listen to what they have to say and keep talking to them in intervals- the frequency of the talking depending upon how receptive the person is being.

Here is another trick, if the person wants or needs something- be the one to help them out. So, “Would you like me to get you some cold water?” for the person who was wiping sweat is perfect. It makes you look extremely thoughtful in the person’s eyes and they will appreciate it.

Step 8

Go with the flow and make the person feel as comfortable as you can. To do this you must first be comfortable with yourself. Be yourself.

Once you hit it off, there is no turning back. Then, you are free to build on the relationship that you have established.

Good luck and have fun!

By- Rupangi Sharma

photo credit: Chloester

I present to you the top 5 guitar song covers. These are some great bands that have always been away from the spotlight. So here we go. This is in no specific order because I think It gets ridiculous to rank anything of this quality.

This is an incredible cover. Jack White is the most incredible guitarist alive today and the song itself, “Death Letter” – Son house, is rendered with beautiful chaos.

Derek Trucks Bank cover “Anyday” by Derek and the Dominos ( I believe). Matt Mattison’s vocals are raw and bluesy and the awesome Susan Tedeschi is just the epic Goddess. Derek’s guitar is vibrant and soulful. His performance puts him at the very top by anyone’s standards.

One of my favorite songs ever. “Summertime” covered by Jill Scott and George Benson. The feel in this cover is all powerful. It is enough to enter your soul and take it over.

…And once you have been taken to space, drop down on Earth and experience Jack Johnson. He covers Sublime’s “Badfish ” and “Boss DJ”. Perfect Vibe to cap off the Top 5. Emotional Stimulation Complete.

photo credit: rabend

One of the most pleasant surprises that await a new runner is the endorphin kick. Endorphins are neurotransmitters that are produced naturally by our body and provide a feeling of euphoria. Anyone that has felt a sense of peace and well being after strenuous activity has experienced their magical effect.

Most people have tried to run many times before in their lives only to be discouraged by breathlessness, aching shins and sore feet that soon force them to give up and settle for a cup of coffee in the neighborhood cafe. Instead of just strapping on their usual sports shoes and hitting the pavement, the beginner should endeavor to do a little research to learn the correct way to approach this daunting sport.

Running, like any other physical activity requires some preparation for it to be truly pleasurable. The first milestone for every beginner is to slowly build up to the point where they can run continuously for 30 minutes. Here are some key points that will encourage anyone to convert this usually painful activity, which is routinely used as a form of corporal punishment by coaches worldwide, into something that is immensely addictive and a lot of fun.

The Stretch

Never Stretch cold muscles. It is best to start by doing a slow stiff jog for a few minutes and then slowly stretch the legs and back.

Weeks 1 and 2: Complete beginners should start by targeting the 10 minute mark and use the run/walk interval rule. Interval training is the key to running and the basic interval program consists of a 1 minute run followed by 1 minute walk done for 20 minutes which will add up to 10 minutes of total running time.

Week 3: Increase the intervals to 2 minutes run/1 minute walk for 15 minutes.

Week 4: Keep the 2/1 minute run/walk interval but increase the time to 20 minutes

Week 5: Raise the interval to 5 minute run/1 minute walk for 20 minutes

Week 6: Keep the 5/1 minute run/walk interval but increase time to 30 minutes

Week 7 and beyond: Keep the increasing the run interval until they can run continuously for 30 minutes.

At this point the beginner should be able to run 5 kms without a problem and get the full advantage of the beautiful feeling of numb accomplishment that is the characteristic of the endorphin high. This should develop into a lifelong love affair with running which connects them to the open outdoors and gives them a feeling of independence and well being that cannot be matched by any artificial stimulant. All beginners should remember to take it slow, be safe and consult their personal physician before starting any exercise program.

photo credit: Imelda Whitfield

Social skills are a very important part of a young person’s development. One of the most effective skills in an individual’s armory is charm. When used subtly and purposefully in business, society and politics, charm can be an extremely effective tool that helps in creating alliances and developing rapport. Unfortunately, because of implicit gender segregation amongst the youth in many societies and the increase in solitary time brought on by the popularity of certain technologies, young people end up severely lacking in these skills.

Most of a young person’s education in charm is received at home or in school by observation of others. Those that have ample opportunities to mingle with a lot of different types of people on a day to day basis have more of a chance to run into a charming person and therefore, can witness the intoxicating effects this skill has on people around them. Charm is very important in a conversation, whether it be a formal negotiation in a business setting or an informal chat over a cup of coffee with a potential friend.

photo credit: Tom Hilton

The basics of this skill are simple and can be listed out for the potential student of charm in a systematic manner:

1. Compliments:

It is important that compliments be sincere and well thought out. Telling a woman that she is beautiful or an employer that they are smart will usually be overlooked and ignored. Compliments such as these are very cliché and overused. It is therefore important to try to spot certain positive characteristics in a subject that have often been overlooked or those that linger beneath the surface. This can be achieved by paying close attention and listening actively in every conversation.

2.  Open-Ended Questions:

The goal should always be to get the subject to speak as much as possible. This provides the student with many opportunities to pick up vital information about their mood, opinions and intellect which can all be used to establish rapport. The subject should feel like the charmer is very interested in their opinions. Everyone loves to talk about themselves and the charmer should take full advantage of this fact.

3.  Sense of Humor:

Even a serious conversation sprinkled with a little bit of playfulness signifies a very attractive personality. A sense of humor is paramount especially when it comes to talking to the opposite sex. Jokes should be light hearted and cute and the charmer should avoid vulgarity and boorishness at all costs. This also puts the subject at ease and therefore more open to expressing their inner selves.

Conclusion

The subject should feel that the charmer is like minded and an intellectual ally. The charmer should mirror the subject’s ideas and show interest by asking for clarification on certain topics or opinions before agreeing with them. Then, they should use all this data to customize a compliment. If done correctly, this praise should be something that they have never heard before and therefore sound the most sincere. These techniques can be first practiced with close friends before graduating to the opposite sex. Soon the student will be able to work an entire room full of people. It is important, however, not to try to deceive and seem insincere because regardless of any skill or technique the charmer may use, people will be able to see right through them if their motives are not positive.

photo credit: krzyboy2o

This is the first real post on this site and it covers the basic theme that we will use when we talk about, analyze and study relationships and interactions. The question posed is, of course, a cliché. From mediocre Hollywood vomit to young freshmen throwing their hands up in bewilderment, this phrase has been used more than a mop in a truck stop bathroom and with equal frustration. There are a few problems with this statement.

1)       It assumes that women are homogenous – Believe it or not, women are people too and people are very different. This holds true especially in western cultures where individualism is respected and admired. Different individuals have varying tastes and preferences. These tastes are molded and influenced by marketing campaigns, social norms and current trends. Magazines such as Cosmopolitan and Elle indirectly shape a woman’s tastes by taking advantage of the human need to assimilate and be part of a group.

This need comes from the fear of “missing out” on certain experiences which is understandable because life is finite. In order to maximize one’s life, it is important to experience everything that is worth experiencing. So if someone reads an article which says that buying red shoes will make them happy because red is a happy color, then they may become biased towards red shoes, dresses, socks or whatever.

If a woman watches movies in which is emotionally important for the actress to get married to the “perfect” man, she will associate her own happiness with marriage. This is what shapes culture and opinion. But this concept is pervasive all throughout society and it affects men as much as women. The level at which this effects an individual comes down to their own mental state.

If someone is smart enough to discern the difference between truth and marketing (which is also cultural, all cultural biases can be a form of mass marketing), then they are able to draw a line between believing everything hook line and sinker (because Elle magazine, Maxim or Grandma said so) and trying something out  while  testing whether it is really useful or pleasurable to them. Then  simply discarding things that don’t make sense and keep things that do. Smart people are choosy.

2)      It assumes that women actually know what they want –  Most of us live our lives on a day to day basis. What you think you want today may change tomorrow. It will be different a year down the line and substantially different ten years into the future. Very few people know exactly what they want all the time. But people can be convinced, cajoled and molded to want certain thing. This is certainly a “black hat” way of doing things. It is much cleaner to just be honest with yourself and with women around you. Most will simply walk away but the few that stay will be quality.

3)      It seeks to achieve the “ends” through the wrong “means” – What do I mean by that? Well, human relationships are not Science. You cannot just first figure out what women want and then simply give it to them. Product placement may work like that but you are not a product that requires a marketing campaign.

Trying to find a woman this way is doomed to failure because it requires you to tailor your personality to fit demand. Even if you could find out exactly what a group of women wanted, you would have to change yourself to fit that mould in some way. That may work in the short run but eventually you would get found out, simply because you cannot live a lie. Life is much more complicated than that.

Say you are a techie and you live and breathe code. You see some hot girls sitting in the cafeteria and in order to “score” with them, you find out that they like basketball (I know this is a tired old example but it makes the explanation easy). It is simply not efficient use of your time to pretend to be a proficient basketball player or to bone up on basketball trivia if you have no interest in the subject simply to get a date. If you are really good, you may be able to pull it off, but the relationship is bound to fail because one day you will want to sit on your computer and write a beautiful piece of software instead of watching the ballgame and then you will get found out.

This is lying and cheating and will always lead to heartbreak and despair. It is far better to be who you are and then find someone who is also true to themselves. Then establish a common bond. This is a much better way to have a meaningful liaison and is a LOT more pleasurable.

I understand that I am promoting the much feared “be yourself” maxim that has been hounding us since the beginning of time. But there is something more I want to add which is essentially the purpose of this site. Be yourself, but do it fearlessly. Don’t hide in a hole and be yourself. Do it out in the open. “Publish” your personality in the real world. Then the hits will come.