Inspirational and Motivational Articles, Quotes and Quotations

Attitude of Gratitude

2011-12-23T22:39:00.000+07:00

"If you have food in your fridge, clothes on your back, a roof over your head, and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of the world.

If you have money in the bank, your wallet, and some spare change, you are among the top 8% of the world’s wealthy.

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness, you are more blessed than the million people who will not survive this week.

If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the agony of imprisonment or torture, or the horrible pangs of starvation, you are luckier than 500 million people alive and suffering.

If you can read this message you are more fortunate than 3 billion people in the world who cannot read it at all."

We would all be more happy and have plenty to be grateful for...if only we would count our blessings rather than our problems.

Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer

2011-10-07T12:59:00.000+07:00

'You've got to find what you love,' Jobs says

This is a prepared text of the Commencement address delivered by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it's likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope it's the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

8 Limiting patterns of Thinking

2011-01-08T19:11:00.001+07:00

It can be extremely difficult to focus on the good when, seemingly, bad things are happening in your life. However you can train your mind to focus on the good things in your life rather than dwelling on the bad. No it’s not one of those positive thinking articles that you’ve read all over the web and are sick and tired of. This is about changing the way you think, changing your thinking pattern. Do you use any of these thinking patterns in your day to day life? 8 limiting patterns of thinking

‘Life is shit’ Thinking pattern –Everything in life is bad, everybody is not to be trusted and nothing good will ever happen to them e.g. “I won’t get that job, the interviewer didn’t like me, I didn’t particularly like them anyway.”
‘Unsubstantiated conclusive’ Thinking pattern– You tend to make a lot of conclusions without any evidence to back up your conclusions. This can be a really destructive pattern as it can limit you in seeing reality for what it is e.g. “He walks a bit funny, he must be gay.” (I actually heard someone saying this about a colleague last week).
‘Never to me’ Thinking pattern – This is when you think nothing good will ever happen to you. This can be a deep seated way of thinking and it is a deep down inability to believe you are worthy of anything good happening to you e.g. “I’ll never have money, I’ve never had it before so I’ll never have it in the future, might as well carry on with this shitty job, at least it pays the mortgage.”
‘The negative psychic’ Thinking pattern – Presuming you know what people are thinking about you and it’s all bad. e.g. “She thinks I’m an idiot, I’ll try to avoid talking to her.”
‘Should, would, could’ Thinking pattern – This type of person knows what they have to do to change their life, they are capable and they know it and they would do it if only……… e.g. “I know I could go to university and I would, but I’m just to busy with other things right now, I’ll apply next year.”
‘Emotion based’ Thinking pattern – Your emotions control what you are thinking and therefore your vision of what reality is e.g. “I feel incapable of doing that so I must be incapable”.
‘It’s all my fault’ Thinking pattern – You see yourself as being the cause of everything bad that has happened e.g. “It’s my fault he left me for another woman.” You’ll notice this type of person does not take responsibility for the good things that happen.
‘They’re all wrong’ Thinking pattern – You see everyone as incapable of doing anything right and your way is the best way to do it e.g. “He can’t do it right, I’ll stay late tonight and fix it when he’s gone.”

These are just some of the common thinking patterns I have come across in my life and I have used some of them myself, I used to use mix the ‘Never to me’ and ‘The negative psychic’ thinking patterns about everything, “She’ll never go out with me she thinks I’m an idiot.” I made a conscious effort to change what I believed about myself and what I believed about the world and it has literally changed my life.

How to change the destructive thinking patterns

The first stage of changing is to recognise the problem – You will find a lot of people in life who just don’t think there is a problem so there is no need to change. If this is you then do nothing. If you want to change you must think there is a need and you will start to recognise what things need to change and it usually starts with your perception of life. Everybody’s perception of life is different, therefore everyone’s reality is different. I don’t live in the same world as you and you don’t live in the same world as me. That might sound a strange concept to some people, but think about it for a few minutes, it could change the way you see the world.

The second stage is to be aware of when you are using the destructive thinking patterns – We can employ different thinking patterns depending on what we are doing in life. For example you could use a positive thinking pattern at work as you are very confident in your ability and yet use a destructive one when it comes to looking for love. Recognising when you use destructive thinking patterns can help you to change that pattern. Now that you have recognised when you use the destructive thinking patterns it is now time to change it.

The third stage is to replace the bad with the good – This is something that you don’t do immediately. You don’t say to yourself ‘I’ll never be able to do that”, which is you old thinking pattern, to “Oh yes I can”. That won’t work. You have to let the old pattern die slowly whilst slowly introducing your new improved thinking pattern. Here an example:

You are out in a club and you want to talk to someone you are attracted to. Your thoughts are “ She’ll never talk to me, she’s gorgeous.” You will immediately recognise this pattern of thinking and tell yourself something good about yourself e.g. “I’m good at _______(FILL IN THE BLANK), it can be anything. This will not immediately help your situation but it will slowly begin to change your old destructive thinking pattern with a new one.

This stage takes place over time and is not done immediately. The best time to change a destructive thinking pattern is to let it run it’s course and slowly replace it with a thinking pattern that is better for you. I know people want a microwave life, stick it in the micro and it’s ready in 3 minutes, your life is not like that and you cannot change in 1 day, unless something drastic happens.

You can work on more than 1 destructive thinking pattern at a time.

To recap

To change your thinking pattern you have to

Recognise
Be aware
Slowly change and introduce a new thinking pattern
Keep working on all your destructive thinking patterns

Change your life with your new way of thinking

Recognising and changing your way of thinking can be a long process depending on what patterns of thinking you employ and how badly you want to change. People can change, do change and change for the rest of their lives, I know I have, so don’t be thinking you’ll never be able to change, you can and you will if you really want to.

After a few months you will see a huge difference in your life and you will want to use your new way of thinking to good effect. You will start to notice new types of people enter into your life who can help you reach the goals you have in life and in turn you will help them reach their goals, don’t worry about how just now.

Take time to think about your goals and take the time often to do this. I take time every day to think about where I want to be in life and slowly but surely it happens. Personally I find it better in the morning to really think about my goals and then again at night just before I am falling asleep. It works for me but you will have to experiment a little to find your way of thinking about your goals.

20 things to Let go

2011-01-08T18:49:00.000+07:00

You are in an imaginary hot air balloon. It’s just you and all of your belongings in the wicker basket. Something went wrong and you are losing altitude fast. You will hit the ground in less than ten minutes if you don’t come up with something quick.

The only immediate solution is to get rid of excess weight and throw off at least half of your belongings. It’s that or hit the ground in ten. You look at the things and hesitate for a few seconds but then you do what you have to do and start throwing the things you have gathered half your life one by one. The cargo gets lighter, the descent slows down then you are floating up again back to altitude. You are relieved beyond comprehension.

This happens to all of us in less dramatic circumstances. We attach ourselves to things that we have accumulated over the years. Some of them might have some practical value. Others we just have attached ourselves sentimentally to over time. Some others are just clutter.

Our mental life follows the same fate. We carry with us a lot of things in our heads along the years – Our life story, emotional attachments, beliefs and other things which can linger in our minds for many years.

Some of them are useless ideas that drag us down considerably. Some are emotional debris from difficult moments in our past. Some are just beliefs which we have attached ourselves to for no apparent justifiable reason. Some others are just self-destructive habits and fears.

So if you were in the hot air balloon situation, which of these mental barriers should we let go? I have listed down 20 here. Do you have any more?

1. Let go of attachments: According to Buddhist Philosophy, attachment is one of the roots of all suffering. I can’t agree more. We attach ourselves to all sorts of things even the most self-slapping stupid notions in the universe. Are you attached to something? How much are you attached? Is it keeping you back from something? Is it making you suffer? Look at it straight through – break the illusion. Know that every attachment can be detached.

2. Let go of guilt: Guilt has absolutely no function whatsoever. Think about it – what could guilt possibly resolve? It just holds you imprisoned to self-mortification and sorrow.

3. Let go of Negative thinking: Pessimistic thoughts and negative attitudes keep you locked in a dark aura that permeates in everything you do. It’s a dangerous line to follow. Know that thoughts influence the world around us. Enough said

4. Let go of self-criticism: Many times we are our biggest pain in the neck. We criticize ourselves with the best of intentions but then go over the acceptable limit. Criticism then turns to disempowering messages. Let go of it and be kind and gentle to yourself.

5. Let go of prejudice: Prejudice keeps you bitter and resentful. It restricts your opportunities to connect meaningfully with others.

6. Let go of compulsive thinking: Do you keep on doing something just because you feel you have to do it without any apparent reason? It’s time to honestly reflect on its usefulness and its side-effects.

7. Let go of the need for others’ approval: We often tend to seek approval by others. This is an attention-seeking behaviour and one which threatens our self-confidence and authenticity.

8. Let go of limiting beliefs: Most of our limits are self-imposed. Life doesn’t have defined limits. Our beliefs do. Learn to identify those beliefs which narrow down your possibilities for action and let go of them.

9. Let go of grudges: Let me put it this way – grudges are bad for your heart. Keep them long enough or numerous enough and your health will eventually suffer. Research is showing the relationship between heart disease and emotions such as anger and grudges.

10. Let go of the “I’ll do it tomorrow” attitude: This is a delaying tactic of your subconscious saboteur trying to keep you from accomplishing important tasks. Try to be aware of it when you think it and consciously push yourself to do at least the first part of it. Naturally you will then continue the whole task because the hard part is only the beginning.

11. Let go of anxious thoughts: These are born out of our fear of the unknown and uncertainty about the future. The thought that something unpleasant may happen is only an unreal thought we have created ourselves. Ask yourself: “Is this thought based on real evidence?”

12. Let go of past heartbreaks: A heartbreak can take quite a long time to heal. Your heart is locked as your mind keeps on hovering over the same thought. The thing to realize is that in heartbreaks it is not the loss that make you suffer but the idea you create in your heads about that loss.

13. Let go of bad memories: Sometimes we remember unpleasant things that stir up some sad feelings in us. Bad memories make you relive those sad moments in the present. Keep them where they are – in the past.

14. Let go of useless things: We also attach ourselves to things of all sort. Sometimes we clutter our life with useless objects. Let go of them and simplify your working and living environment.

15. Let go of bad company: If there are people around you that are insincere, harbour envy, are highly pessimistic or disempowering, keep away from them.

16. Let go of the idea that you are a product of your past: One very common mistake we fall into is the belief that we are determined by our past experiences. This limits our view on future possibilities since we are stuck in believing that the future can only be more of the same as our past.

17. Let go of identifying yourself with your job/role: This is one of the risks of modern day life. Since roles are always becoming more specialized we think that we are part of our roles. This makes us lose perspective of our true nature.

18. Let go of counterproductive habits: These are the repetitive patterns of behavior that obstruct or distract you from constructive and productive behavior. They can be anything from watching too much TV and overeating to self-destructive behavior such as drug abuse.

19. Let go of taking things too personally: Very often we are disturbed emotionally because we interpret people’s words and actions from a very subjective perspective. When we take things personally we get irritated, hurt and disappointed. When you look at life from a more detached and objective point of view, we stay emotionally balanced and focused on our priorities.

20. Let go of the ticking clock: Time is one of our biggest sources of stress. Well, not time really but our perception of it. Sometimes we are enslaved by the concept of time even in our moments of leisure. This has devoured a lot of our genuine freedom and space. Learning to spend moments without the constant awareness of time can be liberating and finally productive.

Pessimist and Optimist

2010-10-19T20:21:00.000+07:00

A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist, the other a doom & gloom pessimist.

Just to see what would happen, on the twins’ birthday their father loaded the pessimist’s room with every imaginable toy and game. The optimist’s room he loaded with horse manure.

That night the father passed by the pessimist’s room and found him sitting amid his new gifts crying bitterly.
“Why are you crying?” the father asked.

“Because my friends will be jealous, I’ll have to read all these instructions before I can do anything with this stuff, I’ll constantly need batteries, and my toys will eventually get broken,” answered the pessimist twin.
Passing the optimist twin’s room, the father found him dancing for joy in the pile of manure. “What are you so happy about?” he asked.

To which his optimist twin replied, “There’s got to be a pony in here somewhere!”

Dialogue: How You Communicate When You're Having Trouble Communicating

2010-09-25T10:52:00.000+07:00

By Robert Rosell, President, Quality Media Resources

Dialogue has been around for centuries. The ancient Greeks practiced it. Successful families use it all the time. So do governments, businesses, armies, and other groups of people that need to better understand each other. Dialogue is how you communicate when you're having trouble communicating. Who among us hasn't found ourselves in that situation more than once?

We don't normally think much about how we'll communicate. In most cases we simply open our mouths and hope the right words come out. Sometimes they do. However, the workplace has been changing dramatically over the past few decades. Women have entered careers where they had traditionally not been welcome. People from different races, religions or ethnic groups that rarely interacted in the past now work side by side. Gay employees are more visible at work. Laws against discrimination have opened doors for many. Huge populations have migrated around the globe. Corporations have become multinational.

The result is that we now have to communicate with a broader, more diverse range of people. These folks don't always do things, see things, or express themselves in the same ways that we do. It's very easy for misunderstandings, suspicions, stereotypes, or hidden assumptions to color our relationships. The results are often negative and at times disastrous for teams trying to work productively together. What worked for us before may no longer be sufficient. We will have to expand our communication skills to be understood and make sure we understand. That's where dialogue comes in.

The 6 Basic Rules for Dialogue:

Be open and suspend judgment - don't disparage other points of view.

Keep dialogue and decision-making separate - dialogue precedes decision-making, negotiation or action.

Speak for yourself, not as a representative, and treat all participants as peers.

Listen with empathy - acknowledging you have heard others and that you care.

Look for common ground â identifying areas where you agree.

Search for and disclose hidden assumptions - especially in yourself.

A to Z of Motivation

2010-09-12T19:03:00.002+07:00

A to Z of Motivation

Avoid Negative Thoughts, People, Things and Habits.

Believe in yourself.

Consider things from every angle and others points of view.

Dare to Dream and Dream Big

Energy, Excitement and Enthusiaism is in your blood.

Family and Friends are hidden treasures; enjoy these riches.

Give more than you planned to.

Have a good sense of humour.

Ignore Critisism, Ridicule and Discouragement from others.

Jump on Problems because they are Opportunities in disguise.

Keep up the good work however hard it may seem.

Love yourself, just as you are.

Make Impossibility a Possibility.

Never lie, cheat or steal, always strike a fair deal.

Open your eyes and see things as they really are.

Prefect Practice makes you perfect.

Quitters never Win and Winners never Quit.

Reward yourself for every small success and achievement.

Stop Wasting your Time and Procrastinating important Goals.

Take control of your Life and your Goals.

Understand so that you could Understood.

Visualize your Goals and Dreams everyday.

Win over your own weaknesses and make them as your Strengths.

Xccelerate your efforts

Yes Yes Yes, Yes you Can and You Will…!

Zap your Stress and Enjoy your Life..

Leadership Qualities

2010-08-14T06:41:00.000+07:00

This article not only lists the characteristics of effective leaders but also it can act as a guideline for our own behavior if we are in a leadership position. Often, we receive no guidance once we have been promoted and leadership positions can be quite lonely.

They Learn. Effective leaders are constantly learning. They read, they attend seminars, they listen to tapes and CDs, they constantly ask questions and seek out skilled people to mentor them. These leaders develop new skills, develop new interests and continually expand their ability to achieve results. Most the time their learning is self driven as they find that increased knowledge also creates a situation where the unknown starts to become recognizable. This in itself fuels the desire to learn more.

Effective leaders have a strong sense of responsibility. They are service orientated and they have a powerful desire to contribute. They are constantly looking for people to whom they can contribute to help them raise their performance. Leaders take World to Higher Levels.

They Believe in People. These effective leaders are cheerful, humorous and happy but most importantly they are optimistic and their optimism rubs off on other people. Because they are so positive, they infect the people around them with the same hope. They don’t focus on people’s weaknesses but instead, try and develop their strengths. Because they are so positive and have such a strong belief in people, staff members enjoy working for them.

They are Excited About Their Role. Effective leaders are constantly excited and enthusiastic about what they’re doing. Their excitement and enthusiasm has a powerful effect on the people around them. They cannot avoid being caught up in the climate for personal development and growth.

They are Catalysts. Effective leaders harness the synergy of the group and apply their productive efforts to improve things. Because they believe in other people’s ability and potential, delegation is not an issue so their style of supervision is adapted for each individual.

They Think. Each effective leader puts him time aside every single day without fail, to think. This thinking time is used for setting priorities, designing changes, looking at ways of implementing changes, reviewing their own performance, reviewing the performance of other people in the team, planning and working your ways to implement improvements.

They Have an Abundance Mentality Effective leaders have no problems with sharing ideas, experience or documentation to help others. They don’t withhold information instead, they distribute as much information as possible to people who may be interested. Effective leaders are givers. They share without expecting anything in return.

Superordinate goals: Robbers Cave Experiment

2010-07-29T12:48:00.000+07:00

The boys were unwittingly the star cast in a classic experiment conducted in the 1950s on building positive inter group relations.

TAKE 22 white, middle-class, 11 year-old boys who did not know each other, send them on a 'summer camp experience' at the Robber's Cave State Park in Oklahoma (USA), and what do you get? A remake of William Golding's 'Lord of the Flies'? No. Rather, a powerful lesson in peace building.

The boys were unwittingly the star cast in a classic experiment conducted in the 1950s on building positive inter group relations, conducted by psychologist Muzafer Sherif. Although they were unaware of it, Sherif had divided the boys into two groups of 11 that were approximately equal in athletic ability and camping experience. He arranged experiences that would amplify, and then resolve, destructive conflict between them. The study was conducted in 3 stages of roughly 1 week each.

In the first stage, each group lived in its own cabin and had no knowledge of the other's presence in the park. Each group developed its own swimming hole and hideouts and co-operated in activities such as pitching tents, preparing meals, hiking and treasure hunts. During this stage, each spontaneously developed its own rules, leadership and identity. One group called itself the 'Rattlers', the other boys dubbed themselves the 'Eagles'.
us and them

Near the end of this stage, each was made aware of the other's presence in the camp, hearing the other's voices or seeing cups left behind. Strong territorial reactions, such as 'they'd better not be in our swimming hole', were the result. There was an immediate division between 'us' and 'them'.

By design, Stage Two amplified the competition between the young 'warriors'. The staff announced a series of contests, including baseball games, tugs-of war and counsellor-judged events such as cabin inspections. The scoring was manipulated to keep the two teams close, thereby heightening the sense of competition. The two groups began eating together in a common mess hall, where the tournament's grand prize (a trophy and 11 medals and four bladed knives for individual members of the winning team) was on display for all to see.

Good sportsmanship quickly deteriorated to name-calling during the first baseball game and then in the mess-hall. Following their first loss the dejected Eagles burned the Rattlers' flag, with the group's leader proclaiming 'you can tell those guys I did it ... I'll fight 'em'. The Eagle flag was burned in retaliation the next day. Fighting erupted and the counsellors intervened.

Tensions increased further when the Eagles won the second tug-of-war through a strategy of sitting down and digging in their heels. Judging this unfair, the Rattlers launched a commando style raid on the Eagles' cabin that night. The following morning, the Eagles took revenge on the Rattlers' cabin; then, fearing reprisals, they began to store rocks to stone their new enemies. Once again, the staff intervened.

Skirmishes continued throughout the tournament, which the Eagles eventually won. The defeated Rattlers immediately raided the other group's cabin and stole the prized knives and medals, provoking further fighting. Hostilities at this point ran extremely high.

Stage Three aimed at resolving the conflict. Initially, non-competitive activities were attempted, such as watching movies while eating together in the mess hall. This contact failed. The two groups stayed separated, jeered at each other or engaged in food fights.

To build peace, it was necessary to induce co-operation towards shared goals. A series of urgent problems was devised, which the boys could solve only by working together. The camp's water was cut, for example, and staff announced a possible leak in the supply pipe. The boys had to inspect the 1.6km pipe, and finally discovered a clogged valve at the tank. They rejoiced together when the problem had been fixed. On another occasion, they had to join forces to start a truck which had broken down. By the time the third stage had ended the boys had become reconciled, and even asked to go back to the city on the same bus.

In interpreting these results, one must be careful to note that no single experiment can establish by itself a principle of broad applicability. Furthermore, the conditions of Sherif's experiment differed markedly from the conflict-torn situations in the real world. The inescapable conclusion, however, is that co-operation on shared goals is of vital importance in resolving conflict peacefully.

This conclusion has far-reaching implications for building a culture of peace. Simply stopping the fighting or bringing hostile groups together is not enough. Rather, co-operation must be nourished at diverse levels in the social system, building the sense of positive interdependence that lies at the heart of a culture of peace.

The top ten time wasters

2010-07-22T10:13:00.000+07:00

When you don't know what to do, you keep on doing whatever comes to you, and in the process waste a lot of time. Here are a quick short tips to help you identify the common top ten time wasters:

1. Clarity of Priorities

Not knowing one's priorities is the biggest time waster! Know your priorities and you'll have a road map to guide your behavior.

2. Investment of Time
Not putting enough time into "A" and "B" activities wastes time. It's been said that 80% of our results come from 20% of our efforts. Maximize your efforts by investing 80% of your time into the essential "A" and "B" activities.

3. Interruptions
Interruptions, distractions, drop-in visitors, unplanned telephone calls are all potential time-wasters. Schedule "open hours" during specific time frames in order to accommodate those who need to contact you.

4. Conflict
Conflict takes up energy and drains us of our ability to be enthusiastic, focused and productive. Handle whatever conflicts are in your life so as to minimize the "drains" in your life. You'll have more energy and focus as a result.

5. Personal Concerns During Business Hours
Whether one works for a business or in one's own business, it's important to respect the boundaries between personal concerns and business. Boundaries help you to stay focused on the present task at hand while also minimizing distractions.

6. Procrastination
Indecision, daydreaming and delay on taking action impede progress. Consider creating supports that can help you in your decision-making. Create an accountability system with a colleague or friend, or better yet, consider working with a professional coach!

7. Lack of Self-Discipline
Lack of structure can be a problem. Structure supports our creativity it doesn't impede it! Self-discipline is knowing what to pay attention to and living from this awareness. It's also about creating the supports and structures that help us "stay on track" so as to fully honor our commitments.

8. Unfinished Projects
Jumping from project to project without resolution of the previous project, leaving tasks partly done, constantly switching priorities all contribute to wasting time. Treat every day like the day before vacation tie up loose ends! You'll have more energy, less stress and renewed focus the following day.

9. Socializing
Too much socializing with our colleagues or customers can be distracting. Understand the difference between productive socializing and wasting time there's a fine line and balance between the two.

10. Guilt and Shoulds
"Shoulds" come from the unexamined beliefs that unconsciously guide our behavior; guilt is the outcome of these "shoulds." Identify your pre-existing beliefs to see whether they make sense to you whether they're still worthy of orienting your life around. Unexamined beliefs create guilt when we don't live up to them. Explore what's really important to you NOW as you deconstruct outdated beliefs.

Time Management is one of the most important soft skills training one must work to overcome the above time wasters.

Wisdom of Warren Buffet

2010-07-12T18:46:00.003+07:00

1. He bought his first share at age 11 and he now regrets that he started too late!

Things were very cheap that time;

Encourage your children to invest.

2. He bought a small farm at age 14 with saving from delivering newspapers.

One could have bought many things with the little savings.

Encourage your children to start some kind of business.

3. He still lives in the same small 3-bedroom house in mid-town Omaha, that he bought after he got married 50 years ago. He says that he has everything he needs in that house.

His house does not have a wall or fence.

Don't buy more than what you really need

and encourage your children to do and think the same.

4. He drives his own car everywhere and does not have a driver or security people around him.

You are what you are.

5. He never travels by private jet, although he owns the world's largest private jet company.

Always think how you can accomplish things economically.

6. His company, Berkshire Hathaway, owns 63 companies. He writes only one letter each to the CEOs of these companies, giving them goals for the year. He never holds meetings or calls them on a regular basis.

Assign the right people to the right jobs.

7. He has given his CEO's only two rules.

Rule No. 1: Do not lose any of your share holder's money.

Rule No. 2: Do not forget rule no. 1.

Set goals and make sure people focus on them.

8. He does not socialized with the high society crowd. His past time after he gets home is to make himself some pop corn and watch television.

Don't try to show off.

Just be yourself and do what you enjoy doing.

9. Warren Buffet does not carry a cellphone or has a computer on his desk.

10. Bill Gates, the world's richest man met him for the first time only 5 years ago.

Bill Gates did not thought he had anything in common with Warren Buffet, so he scheduled his meeting only for half hour. But when Gates met him, the meeting lasted for 10 hours and Bill Gates become a devotee of Warren Buffet.

---

HIS ADVICE TO YOUNG PEOPLE:

"Stay away from credit cards (bank loans) and invest in yourself and remember:

- Money doesn't create man but it is the man who created money.

- Live your life as simple as you are.

- Don't do what others' say, just listen to them, but do what you feel is good.

- Don't go on brand name; just wear those things which you feel comfortable.

- Don't waste your money on unnecessary things; just spend on them who are really in need.

-After all, its your life, then why give chance to others to rule our life?

Communication Skills - Open Ended Questions

2010-05-07T14:31:00.000+07:00

If you're a Parent or a Manager you'll find this article to be good, practical, usable tips that you can apply right away with your kids or your subordinates and I encourage you to practice it out and see the difference.

"Ask Questions that are Open-Ended rather than Closed-Ended."

For example at home your ask your child a very simple question: "Are you having a good time?" or "Did you have a good day?" "Did you like the food?" are close-ended questions. They only require a "yes" or "no" answer. "What things did you enjoy doing?" is open-ended; As is "What was good about your day?" or "Tell me about your favorite food."

Open-ended questions invites your children to engage in a dialogue with you. They allow your kids to give more thoughtful responses.The more we can allow our children to do things for themselves, the more strongly we communicate the message that, "I believe in your ability and growing skills."

As you get in the habit of using the language of responsibility, you'll be able to see tangible evidence of your children's growing sense of independence. When we ask our children for their ideas and suggestions

we are often surprised by the creative practical solutions they present. Our kids are more likely to follow through with the solutions when they have helped create them.

Friends, isn't the same true for Organizations also?

For example, You as a Boss / Manager instead of asking close ended questions to which the down line is indifferent, ask open-ended questions like "What do you think we can do on customer service issue? " or "Tell me your views about the improvement in the product". By doing so you would start being a Leader and your team would get a feeling of ownership.

"Yes", asking open-ended question will require your conscious effort and a lot of alertness.

So the next time you are dealing with your child or your subordinate/employee/down line just take a PAUSE and ask the right OPEN ENDED QUESTION, and you will find your RELATIONSHIP IMPROVES tremendously.

Pls. share your feedback on the same.

Motivational Quotes - What Failure Means ?

2010-05-05T08:40:00.001+07:00

Failure doesn't mean- You are a failure,

It means- You have not succeeded.

Failure doesn't mean- You accomplished nothing,

It means- You have learned something.

Failure doesn't mean- That you have been a fool,

It means- You had a lot of faith.

Failure doesn't mean- You've been disgraced,

It means- You were willing to try.

Failure doesn't mean- You don't have it,

It means- You have to do something in a different way.

Failure doesn't mean- You are inferior,

It means- You are not perfect.

9 Tips to Time Management

2010-04-21T00:56:00.002+07:00

1. Get Started - This is one of the all time classic time wasters. Often, as much time is wasted avoiding a project, as actually accomplishing the project. A survey showed that the main difference between good students and average students was the ability to start their homework quickly.

2. Get into a routine - Mindless routines may curb your creativity, but when used properly, they can release time and energy. Choose a time to get certain task accomplished, such as answering email, working on a project, completing paper work; and then sticking to it every day. Use a day planning calendar. There are a variety of formats on the market. Find one that fits your needs.

3. Do not say yes to too many things - Saying yes can lead to unexpected treasures, but the mistake we often make is to say yes to too many things. This causes us to live to the priorities of others, rather than according to our own. Every time you agree to do something else, something else will not get done. Learn how to say no.

4. Do not commit yourself to unimportant activities, no matter how far ahead they are - Even if a commitment is a year ahead, it is still a commitment. Often we agree to do something that is far ahead, when we would not normally do it if it was in the near future. No matter how far ahead it is, it will still take the same amount of your time.

5. Divide large tasks - Large tasks should be broken up into a series of small tasks. By creating small manageable tasks, the entire task will eventually be accomplished. Also, by using a piecemeal approach, you will be able to fit it into your hectic schedule.

6. Do not put unneeded effort into a project - There is a place for perfectionism, but for most activities, there comes a stage when there is not much to be gained from putting extra effort into it. Save perfectionism for the tasks that need it.

7. Deal with it for once and for all - We often start a task, think about it, and then lay it aside. This gets repeated over and over. Either deal with the task right away or decide when to deal with it.

8. Set start and stop times - When arranging start times, also arrange stop times. This will call for some estimating, but your estimates will improve with practice. This will allow you and others to better schedule activities. Also, challenge the theory, "Work expands to fill the allotted time." See if you can shave some time off your deadlines to make it more efficient.

9. Plan your activities - Schedule a regular time to plan your activities. If time management is important to you, then allow the time to plan it wisely.

Seven Wonders of the World

2010-04-14T18:29:00.001+07:00

A group of students was asked to list what they thought were the present “Seven Wonders of the World.” Though there were some disagreements, the following received the most votes:

1. Egypt’s Great Pyramids

2. Taj Mahal

3. Grand Canyon

4. Panama Canal

5. Empire State Building

6. St. Peter’s Basilica

7. China’s Great Wall

While gathering the votes, the teacher noticed that one quiet student hadn’t turned in her paper yet. So she asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list. The girl replied, “Yes, a little. I couldn’t quite make up my mind because there were so many.”

The teacher said, “Well, tell us what you have, and maybe we can help.”

The girl hesitated, then read, “I think the ‘Seven Wonders of the World’ are:

1. to see

2. to hear

3. to touch

4. to taste

5. to feel

6. to laugh

7. and to love.”

What is Team Building

2010-04-12T17:05:00.002+07:00

What is Team Building?

team building is...achieved by a variety of methods and approaches
team building is...the process of enabling that group of people to reach their goal
team building is...a big subject with more definitions than we have room to list
team building is...an ongoing process that helps a work group evolve into a cohesive unit
team building is...an intervention to help a group of people quickly become an effective team and remain effective
team building is...like coaching but for a group
team building is...not the most difficult process in the world but a correct program is one of the most rewarding
team building is...an active process by which a group of individuals with a common purpose are focused and aligned to achieve a specific task or set of outcomes
team building is...an effort in which a team studies its process of working together
team building is...designed to improve productivity and enjoy doing it
team building is...an intervention specifically designed to improve a company's organizational effectiveness
team building is...to foster personal growth
team building is...a tool for improving employee motivation
team building is...to allow people to move past the barriers that they hold to
team building is...not a "catch phrase" or another fad by which to raise sales of books
team building is...a skill; any skill must be practiced to be mastered
team building is...not just a crisis activity but a healthy development tool for good teams
team building is...an art that overcomes the differences in style
team building is...ideal for people who must work well with others to meet the goals of the organization
team building is...to help your team be more effective
team building is...a task that does not come easily to all people
team building is...to increase the ability of a group to work together as a team by identifying strengths and areas for improvement
team building is...not an exact science but a cast of finding the best strategies available to bring out the potential in your team
team building is...a process in which a work group examines how it is currently operating
team building is...a proven way to help develop or strengthen your biggest asset
team building is...an ongoing process
team building is...the ability to create a sense of belonging and ownership among team members
team building is...an excellent source of information for coaches
team building is...a process that allows team members to understand the nature of group dynamics in regards to effective teamwork
team building is...an excellent way of boosting corporate staff morale and improve group dynamics and communication
team building is...getting people together in a stimulating learning environment
team building is...an exciting concept because it is the basis of success for organizations
team building is...for a leader to promote that every human being is unique and that he or she adds value
team building is...exciting and challenging and has almost unlimited possibilities because human potential is almost unlimited
team building is...a must for every company with a vision to grow
team building is...a group process
team building is...a good way of creating partnership in small groups; it can take the form of renegotiating the relationship between boss and subordinate
team building is...designed to motivate people through shared goals
team building is...about synergy
team building is...not just teaching a group of people to cooperate
team building is...clear when individuals are involved in the decision to proceed
team building is...an integral part of soccer training in the modern game
team building is...like the paperback novels that get new covers and are put back on the shelves again
team building is...an essential component for organizational success
team building is...a popular corporate activity at historic houses

Simple Letters

2010-04-09T09:00:00.000+07:00

SIMPLE LETTERS - Yet to Profound Meaning
LIFE – 4 SIMPLE LETTERS Yet so Complicated
DESTINY – 7 SIMPLE LETTERS Yet so Unpredictable
FEELINGS – 8 SIMPLE LETTERS Yet so Unexplainable
WORDS – 5 SIMPLE LETTERS Yet there aren’t enough to Express
SILENCE – 7 SIMPLE LETTERS Yet it can be so Loud
TIME – 4 SIMPLE LETTERS Yet there is never Enough
SADNESS – 7 SIMPLE LETTERS Yet it lingers Everywhere
MISTAKES – 8 SIMPLE LETTERS Yet they can never be Erased
BEAUTY – 6 SIMPLE LETTERS Yet it is so hard to See

Communication Challenge - Small Misunderstanding can lead to...

2010-03-23T21:48:00.000+07:00

Small Misunderstandings May Result in a Lifetime of Regrets....

Communication Challenge

Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of asking Mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years with us. Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young. Mother endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see him through to a university degree. You could say that
she suffered a great deal and did everything you could expect of a woman to bring hubby to where he is today. I immediately agreed and started packing the spare room, which has a balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant greenery. Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me up and started spinning round and round. As I begged him to put me down, he said: "Lets go fetch mother".

Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to test on his chest and enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at any moment put the tiny me into his pockets. Whenever we have an argument and both refuses to back down, he would pick me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender and beg for mercy. I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling.

Mother brought along her countryside habits and lifestyle with her. For example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room, she could not stand it and would comment: "I do not know how you young people spend your money, why do you buy flowers for? You also can't eat flowers!" I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also become better." Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby smiled: "Mum, this is a city-people's habit; slowly you will get use to it". Mother stopped saying anything.

But every time thereafter, whenever came home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs. I told her and she would shake her head and express displeasure. Sometimes, when I come home with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every item how much they cost, I would tell her honestly and she would get even more upset about it. Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said: "You little fool, just don't tell her the full price of everything would solve it." There begins the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle.

Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare the breakfast. In your view, how could the man of the house cook for the wife? At the breakfast table, mother facial expression is always like the dark clouds before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice. She would use her chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it as her silent protest.

As I am a dance teacher in the Children's Palace and am exhausted from along day of dancing around, I do not wish to give up the luxury of that additional few minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf ear to all the protest mother makes.

From time to time, mother would help out with some housework, but soon her help created additional work for me. For example: she would keep all kinds of plastic bags accumulating them so that she sell them later on, and resulted in our house being filled with all the trash bags; she would scrimp on dish washing detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so as not to hurt her feelings, I would quietly wash them again.

One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly washing the dishes, and "Bam" she slams her bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room. Hubby was placed in a difficult position, and after that, he did not speak to me for that entire night.

I pretended to be a spoilt child, tried acting cute, but he totally ignored me.... I got mad and asked him: "What did I do wrong?" Hubby stared at me and said: "Can't you just give in to her once? We couldn't possibly die eating from a bowl however unclean it is,
right?" After that incident, for a long period of time, mother did not speak to me and you can feel that there is a very awkward feeling hanging in the house.

During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in dilemma as to who to please. In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast, mother took on the "all important" task of preparing breakfast without any prompting. At the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily eating his breakfast and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having failed to perform my duty as a wife. To avoid the embarrassing breakfast situation, I resorted to buying my own breakfast on my way to work. That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me: "LD, is it because you think that mum's cooking is not clean that's why you chose not to eat at home?" He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears as feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me.. After some time, hubby sighed: "LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?" I am left with no choice but to return to the breakfast table.

The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt a sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my throat. I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I could not. I threw down the bowl, rushed into the washroom, and vomited everything out. Just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me with fire burning in his eyes.. I opened my mouth but no words came out of it, I really did not mean it.

We had our very first big fight that day; mother took a look at us, then stood up and slowly made her way out of the house. Hubby gave me a final stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs. For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call. I was so furious, since mother arrived; I had been trying my best and putting
up with her, what else do you want me to do? For no reason, I keep having the feeling to throw up and I simply have not appetite for food, coupled with all the events happening at home, I was at then low point in my life. Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible; you should go and see a doctor." The doctor confirmed that I am
pregnant.

Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning, a sense of sadness floated through that otherwise happy news. Why didn't hubby, and mother who had been through this before, thought of the possibility of this being the reason that day? At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there.

It had only been three days, but he looked haggard. I had wanted to turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and called out to him. He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he doesn't know me; he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart. I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab.

At that moment, I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling, I am having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me around in circles of joy. What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started rolling down. Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test of one fight?

Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted look in his eyes. I cried and wet the corner of the blanket. That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me up. I switched on the lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face.

He was removing the money. I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and some money and left the house. Maybe he really intends to leave me for good. What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters. I gave a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again.

The next day, I did not go to work.. I wanted to clear this out and have a good talk with hubby. I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird look and said: "Mr. Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in the hospital." I stood there in shock. I rushed
to the hospital and by the time I found hubby, mother had already passed away. Hubby did not look at me, his face was expressionless. I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't control the tears in my eyes. My god, how could this happen?

Throughout the funeral, hubby did not say a single word to me, with only the occasional disgusted stare at me. I only managed to find out brief facts about the accident from other people. That day, after mother left the house, she walked in dazed toward the bus stop,
apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the countryside. As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she tried to cross the street, a public bus came and hit her...I finally understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown up that morning, if we had not quarrelled, if....In his heart, I am indirectly the killer of his mother.

Hubby moved into mother's room and came home every night with a strong liquor smell on him. And me, I am buried under the guilt and self-pity and could hardly breathe. I wanted to explain to him, tell him that we are going to have our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in his eyes, all the words I have at the brink of my mouth just fell back in. I had rather he hit me real hard or give me a big and thorough scolding though none of these events happening had been my fault at all.

Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by, hubby came home later and later. The deadlock between us continues, we were living together like strangers who don't know each other. I am like the dead knot in his heart.

One day, I passed by a western restaurant, looking into the glass window, I saw hubby and a girl sitting facing each other and he very lightly brushed her hair for her, understood what it meant. After recovering from that moment of shock, I entered the restaurant, stood in front of my hubby and stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes.
I have nothing to say to him, and there is no need to say anything. The girl looked at me, looks at hubby, stands up and wanted to go, hubby stretched out his hand and stopped her. He stared back at me, challenging me.

I can only hear my slow heart beat, beating, one by one as if at the brink of death. I eventually backed down, if I had stood that any longer, I will collapse together with the baby inside me. That night, he did not come home; he had chosen to use that as a way
to indicate to me: Following mother's death so did our love for each other.

He did not come home anymore after that. Sometimes, when I returned home from work, I can tell that the cupboard had been touched - he had returned to take some of his stuff. I no longer wish to call him; the initial desire to explain everything to him vanished. I lived alone; I go for my medical checkups alone, my heart breaks again and again every time I see a guy carefully helping his wife through the physical examination. My office colleagues hinted to me to consider aborting the baby, I told them No, I will not.. I insisted on having to this baby, perhaps it is my way of repaying mother for causing her death.

One day, I came home and I saw hubby sitting in the living room. The whole house was filled with cigarette smoke. On the coffee table, there was this piece of paper. I know what it is all about without even looking at it. In the two months plus of living alone, I have gradually learned to find peace within myself. I looked at him, removed my hat and said: "You wait a while, I will sign." He looked at me, mixed feelings in his eyes, just like mine. As I hang up my coat, I keep repeating to myself "You cannot cry, you cannot cry..." my eyes hurt terribly, but I refused to let tears come out from there. After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at my bulging tummy. I smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pulled the paper towards me. Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name on it and pushed the paper to him.

"LD, are you pregnant?" Since mother's accident, this is the first time he spoke to me. I could not control my tears any further and they fell like raindrops. I said: "Yes, but its ok, you can leave now." He did not go, in the dark, we sat, facing each other. Hubby slowly moved over me, his tears wet the blanket. In my heart, everything seems so far away, so far that even if I sprint, I could never reach them. I cannot remember how many times he repeated "sorry" to me. I had originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I
can't.

In the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in his eyes, I will never forget, ever. We have drawn such deep scars in each other's heart. For me, it's unintentional; for him, totally intentional. I had been waiting for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized now, what had gone past is gone forever and could not
repeated.

Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would bring some warmth to my heart, I am totally cold towards him, I no longer eat anything he buys for me, I don't take any presents from him and I stopped talking to him. From the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love had vanished from my heart.

Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the bedroom, but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room. He had no choice but to sleep in mother's room. At night, from his room, I can hear light sounds of groaning, I kept quiet... This used to be his trick; last time, whenever I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will surrender and find out what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and laugh.

He has forgotten that last time I cared for him and am concerned because there was love, but now, what is there between us? Hubby's groaning came on and off continuing but I continuously ignored him.

Almost everyday, he would buy something for the baby, infant products, children products and books that kids like to read. Bags and bags of it stacked inside his room till it is full. I know he is trying to use this to reach out to me, but I am no longer moved by his actions.

He has no choice but to lock himself in his room and I can hear his typing away on his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to web surfing but none of that matters to me anymore.

It was sometime towards the end of spring in the following year, one late night, I screamed because of a sudden stomach pain, hubby came rushing into the room, its like he did not change and sleep, and had been waiting for this moment. He carried me and ran down the stairs, stopped a car, holding my hand very tightly and kept wiping the sweat off my brow, throughout the journey to the hospital.

Once we reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery suite. Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed my mind: In my lifetime, who else would love me as much as he did? He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go in; his warm eyes caused me to manage a smile at him despite my contraction pain. Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son and me, eyes tear with joy and he kept smiling.

I reached out and touched his hand. Hubby looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor. I cried out for him in pain... He smiled, but without opening that tired eyes of his... I had thought that I would never shed any tear for him, but the truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting through my body at that moment.

Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had liver cancer, it was already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he managed to last this long. I asked the doctor when he first discovered he had cancer. Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me saying: "Prepare for his funeral."

I disregarded the nurse's objection and rushed home, I went into his room and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hits me. Hubby's cancer was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, and I had thought that... the computer showed over 200 thousand words he wrote for our son: "Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to take a look at you before I fall, is my biggest wish now.... I know that in your life, you will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if only I can accompany you throughout that journey, how nice would it be.

But daddy now no longer has that chance. Daddy has written inside here all the possible difficulties and problems you may encounter during your lifetime, when you meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy's suggestion ... Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as if I have accompanied you through life journey.

To be honest, daddy is very happy. Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one who loves you most and also the one who loves me m most..." From play school to primary school, to secondary, university, to work and even in dealing with questions of love, everything big and small was written there.

Hubby has also written a letter for me: "My dear, to marry you is my biggest happiness, forgive me for the pain I have caused you, forgive me for not telling you my illness, because I want to see you be in a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our baby...My dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would smile, thank you
for loving me...These presents, I'm afraid I cannot give them to our son personally, could you help me to give some of them to him every year, the dates on what to give when are all written on the packaging... "

Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma. I brought our son over and place him beside him. I said: "Open your eyes and smile, I want our son to remember being in the warmth of your arms..." He struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak smile. Our son still in his arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the air. I press the button on the camera and the sound of the shutter rang through the air as tears slowly rolled down my face....

A fatal misunderstanding and the person who loves me the most in this world is gone forever..."Cruel misunderstandings one after another disrupted the blissful footsteps to our family. Our originals intend of having Mother enjoy some quiet and peaceful moments in her remaining years with us went terribly wrong as destiny's secret is
finally revealed at a price, everything became too late.".........

This is a true story. from LD

LEARNING POINT - DO NOT EVER HOLD ON TO OFFENCES!!!

Words from the readers:

I am totally speechless, this story brought tears to my eyes as I read
through each line eager to know what would happen next. It truly
showed the devastating power of grudges and anger!

Simple humility and communication would have resolved most of the
problems in that story, as well as patience....

This story has really touched my heart and life as a whole and it has
stimulated a paradigm shift. Though it is very sad, it is also very
refreshing to know that from today, I can consciously start to live a
life free of grudge.

People please let's live a life devoid of grudge.

Communication is the key.

Take greatest care and live on.
It was a bit long to read, but will experience a gentle change in your
communication & approach.
================================================
5 Key Learnings :

1. Do not jump to immediate conclusion.

2. Just ask & clarify; minium 3 times to the concerned person before forming a final rigid opinion.

3. Patience is another name of Love. Have patience.

4. Never miss the opportunity to take initiative and get closer.

5. Do not worry about winning arguments.. think about winning people.

P.S. : The orginal Author of this article is not yet identified.

Teenager's Communication with Parents

2010-03-13T20:09:00.001+07:00

Teenager's Communication with Parents to bridge the gap of differences

1.Teenager Communication Basics of Interacting with Parents

2.Every Parent was a Teen once

Parents must remember how they interacted with their parents.

3.Don’t take your Parents for Granted

Remember that your parents are always going to be there for you, come what may.

4.LISTEN

You may not necessarily agree with your parents opinions and ideas but at least give them a fair hearing. They have experience and reasons behind all that they have to say.

5.EXPRESS GRATITUDE

You may not even notice them but you will know how much they care for you.

6.EMPATHISE

Be aware of your parent’s anxieties and fears. It will go a long way in helping you sort out issues.

7.PARTICIPATE & INTERACT

Find opportunity to help in & around at home, a dinner conversation is one that can cement relationship with parents.

8.TAKE CHARGE

Show your initiative and your parents will give you the opportunity to prove yourself.

9.TRUN FAILURE INTO SUCCESS

Just because you could not achieve some milestones your parents expected you to; does not mean you are a failure and it does not mean they have stopped loving you.

10.LOVE – TRUST - RESPECT

Nothing more is worth the prize then gaining the Love, Trust and Respect of your parents.

Leadership Styles

2010-02-27T19:46:00.000+07:00

Leadership Styles

Leadership style is the manner and approach of providing direction, implementing plans, and motivating people. Kurt Lewin (1939) led a group of researchers to identify different styles of leadership. This early study has been very influential and established three major leadership styles. The three major styles of leadership are (U.S. Army Handbook, 1973):

Authoritarian or autocratic

Participative or democratic

Delegative or Free Reign

Although good leaders use all three styles, with one of them normally dominant, bad leaders tend to stick with one style.

Authoritarian (autocratic)

This style is used when leaders tell their employees what they want done and how they want it accompished, without getting the advice of their followers. Some of the appropriate conditions to use it is when you have all the information to solve the problem, you are short on time, and your employees are well motivated.

Some people tend to think of this style as a vehicle for yelling, using demeaning language, and leading by threats and abusing their power. This is not the authoritarian style, rather it is an abusive, unprofessional style called bossing people around. It has no place in a leader's repertoire.

The authoritarian style should normally only be used on rare occasions. If you have the time and want to gain more commitment and motivation from your employees, then you should use the participative style.

Participative (democratic)

This style involves the leader including one or more employees in the decision making process (determining what to do and how to do it). However, the leader maintains the final decision making authority. Using this style is not a sign of weakness, rather it is a sign of strength that your employees will respect.

This is normally used when you have part of the information, and your employees have other parts. Note that a leader is not expected to know everything -- this is why you employ knowledgeable and skillful employees. Using this style is of mutual benefit -- it allows them to become part of the team and allows you to make better decisions.

Delegative (free reign)

In this style, the leader allows the employees to make the decisions. However, the leader is still responsible for the decisions that are made. This is used when employees are able to analyze the situation and determine what needs to be done and how to do it. You cannot do everything! You must set priorities and delegate certain tasks.

This is not a style to use so that you can blame others when things go wrong, rather this is a style to be used when you fully trust and confidence in the people below you. Do not be afraid to use it, however, use it wisely!

NOTE: This is also known as lais…sez faire (or lais…ser faire), which is the noninterference in the affairs of others. [French : laissez, second person pl. imperative of laisser, to let, allow + faire, to do.]

A good leader uses all three styles, depending on what forces are involved between the followers, the leader, and the situation. Some examples include:

Using an authoritarian style on a new employee who is just learning the job. The leader is competent and a good coach. The employee is motivated to learn a new skill. The situation is a new environment for the employee.

Using a participative style with a team of workers who know their job. The leader knows the problem, but does not have all the information. The employees know their jobs and want to become part of the team.

Using a delegative style with a worker who knows more about the job than you. You cannot do everything! The employee needs to take ownership of her job. Also, the situation might call for you to be at other places, doing other things.

Using all three: Telling your employees that a procedure is not working correctly and a new one must be established (authoritarian). Asking for their ideas and input on creating a new procedure (participative). Delegating tasks in order to implement the new procedure (delegative).

Forces that influence the style to be used included:

How much time is available.

Are relationships based on respect and trust or on disrespect?

Who has the information - you, your employees, or both?

How well your employees are trained and how well you know the task.

Internal conflicts.

Stress levels.

Type of task. Is it structured, unstructured, complicated, or simple?

Laws or established procedures such as OSHA or training plans.

Positive and Negative Approaches

There is a difference in ways leaders approach their employee. Positive leaders use rewards, such as education, independence, etc. to motivate employees. While negative employers emphasize penalties. While the negative approach has a place in a leader's repertoire of tools, it must be used carefully due to its high cost on the human spirit.

Negative leaders act domineering and superior with people. They believe the only way to get things done is through penalties, such as loss of job, days off without pay, reprimand employees in front of others, etc. They believe their authority is increased by frightening everyone into higher lever of productivity. Yet what always happens when this approach is used wrongly is that morale falls; which of course leads to lower productivity.

Also note that most leaders do not strictly use one or another, but are somewhere on a continuum ranging from extremely positive to extremely negative. People who continuously work out of the negative are bosses while those who primarily work out of the positive are considered real leaders.

Assumption in Communication - Drinking Problem

2010-02-23T19:35:00.000+07:00

What is Effective Communication?

2010-02-23T19:05:00.000+07:00

No one would talk much in society if they knew how often they misunderstood others. - Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Many of the problems that occur in an organization are the direct result of people failing to communicate. Faulty communication causes the most problems. It leads to confusion and can cause a good plan to fail.

Communication is the exchange and flow of information and ideas from one person to another. It involves a sender transmitting an idea to a receiver. Effective communication occurs only if the receiver understands the exact information or idea that the sender intended to transmit.

Studying the communication process is important because you coach, coordinate, counsel, evaluate, and supervise through this process. It is the chain of understanding that integrates the members of an organization from top to bottom, bottom to top, and side to side.

The Communication Process Communication

Thought: First, information exists in the mind of the sender. This can be a concept, idea, information, or feelings.

Encoding: Next, a message is sent to a receiver in words or other symbols.

Decoding: lastly, the receiver translates the words or symbols into a concept or information that he or she can understand.

During the transmitting of the message, two elements will be received: content and context. Content is the actual words or symbols of the message which is known as language - the spoken and written words combined into phrases that make grammatical and semantic sense. We all use and interpret the meanings of words differently, so even simple messages can be misunderstood. And many words have different meanings to confuse the issue even more.

Context is the way the message is delivered and is known as paralanguage - it is the non verbal elements in speech such as the tone of voice, the look in the sender's eyes, body language, hand gestures, and state of emotions (anger, fear, uncertainty, confidence, etc.) that can be detected. Although paralanguage or context often cause messages to be misunderstood as we believe what we see more than what we hear; they are powerful communicators that help us to understand each other. Indeed, we often trust the accuracy of nonverbal behaviors more than verbal behaviors.

Some leaders think they have communicated once they told someone to do something, "I don't know why it did not get done. I told Tom to it." More than likely, Tom misunderstood the message. A message has NOT been communicated unless it is understood by the receiver (decoded). How do you know it has been properly received? By two-way communication or feedback.

This feedback tells the sender that the receiver understood the message, its level of importance, and what must be done with it. Communication is an exchange, not just a give, as all parties must participate to complete the information exchange.

Barriers to Communication

Anything that prevents understanding of the message is a barrier to communication. Many physical and psychological barriers exist:

Culture, background, and bias - We allow our past experiences to change the meaning of the message. Our culture, background, and bias can be good as they allow us to use our past experiences to understand something new, it is when they change the meaning of the message that they interfere with the communication process.

Noise - Equipment or environmental noise impedes clear communication. The sender and the receiver must both be able to concentrate on the messages being sent to each other.

Ourselves - Focusing on ourselves, rather than the other person can lead to confusion and conflict. The "Me Generation" is out when it comes to effective communication. Some of the factors that cause this are defensiveness (we feel someone is attacking us), superiority (we feel we know more that the other), and ego (we feel we are the center of the activity).

Perception - If we feel the person is talking too fast, not fluently, does not articulate clearly, etc., we may dismiss the person. Also our preconceived attitudes affect our ability to listen. We listen uncritically to persons of high status and dismiss those of low status.

Message - Distractions happen when we focus on the facts rather than the idea. Our educational institutions reinforce this with tests and questions. Semantic distractions occur when a word is used differently than you prefer. For example, the word chairman instead of chairperson, may cause you to focus on the word and not the message.

Environmental - Bright lights, an attractive person, unusual sights, or any other stimulus provides a potential distraction.

Smothering - We take it for granted that the impulse to send useful information is automatic. Not true! Too often we believe that certain information has no value to others or they are already aware of the facts.

Stress - People do not see things the same way when under stress. What we see and believe at a given moment is influenced by our psychological frames of references - our beliefs, values, knowledge, experiences, and goals.

These barriers can be thought of as filters, that is, the message leaves the sender, goes through the above filters, and is then heard by the receiver. These filters muffle the message. And the way to overcome filters is through active listening and feedback.

Active Listening

Hearing and listening are not the same thing. Hearing is the act of perceiving sound. It is involuntary and simply refers to the reception of aural stimuli. Listening is a selective activity which involves the reception and the interpretation of aural stimuli. It involves decoding the sound into meaning.

Listening is divided into two main categories: passive and active. Passive listening is little more that hearing. It occurs when the receiver of the message has little motivation to listen carefully, such as when listening to music, story telling, television, or when being polite.

People speak at 100 to 175 words per minute (WPM), but they can listen intelligently at 600 to 800 WPM. Since only a part of our mind is paying attention, it is easy to go into mind drift - thinking about other things while listening to someone.

The cure for this is active listening - which involves listening with a purpose. It may be to gain information, obtain directions, understand others, solve problems, share interest, see how another person feels, show support, etc. It requires that the listener attends to the words and the feelings of the sender for understanding. It takes the same amount or more energy than speaking. It requires the receiver to hear the various messages, understand the meaning, and then verify the meaning by offering feedback.

The following are a few traits of active listeners:

Spend more time listening than talking.

Do not finish the sentences of others.

Do not answer questions with questions.

Are aware of biases. We all have them. We need to control them.

Never daydreams or become preoccupied with their own thoughts when others talk.

Let the other speakers talk. Do not dominate the conversations.

Plan responses after the others have finished speaking, NOT while they are speaking.

Provide feedback, but do not interrupt incessantly.

Analyze by looking at all the relevant factors and asking open-ended questions. Walk others through by summarizing.

Keep conversations on what others say, NOT on what interests them.

Take brief notes. This forces them to concentrate on what is being said.

Feedback

When you know something, say what you know. When you don't know something, say that you don't know. That is knowledge. - Kung Fu Tzu (Confucius)

The purpose of feedback is to alter messages so the intention of the original communicator is understood by the second communicator. It includes verbal and nonverbal responses to another person's message.

Providing feedback is accomplished by paraphrasing the words of the sender. Restate the sender's feelings or ideas in your own words, rather than repeating their words. Your words should be saying, "This is what I understand your feelings to be, am I correct?" It not only includes verbal responses, but also nonverbal ones. Nodding your head or squeezing their hand to show agreement, dipping your eyebrows shows you don't quite understand the meaning of their last phrase, or sucking air in deeply and blowing it hard shows that you are also exasperated with the situation.

Carl Rogers listed five main categories of feedback. They are listed in the order in which they occur most frequently in daily conversations. Notice that we make judgments more often than we try to understand:

Evaluative: Making a judgment about the worth, goodness, or appropriateness of the other person's statement.

Interpretive: Paraphrasing - attempting to explain what the other person's statement means.

Supportive: Attempting to assist or bolster the other communicator.

Probing: Attempting to gain additional information, continue the discussion, or clarify a point.

Understanding: Attempting to discover completely what the other communicator means by her statements.

Imagine how much better daily communications would be if listeners tried to understand first, before they tried to evaluate what someone is saying.

Short Quick but Important Tips for GD's

2010-02-18T14:10:00.000+07:00

Here are some short, quick but important tips for GD very helpful for all those aspiring for entry into corporate jobs or B-Schools.

SHORT QUICK BUT IMPORTANT TIPS FOR GDs:

· Knowledge is Strength. A candidate with good reading habits has more chances of success. So keep yourself well read and updated.
· The canditate who starts first's creates the first impression (good or bad)
· Pay attention to whatto say.
· Also its important how you say it - Voice - Ascent - Tone - Modulation.
· Be Calm and Composed in your Delivery of points. More is not More.
· Be Courteous and Polite.
· Substantiate your point with suitable examples - facts - statistics - data.
· Be a good Listener.
· Don't be loud, emotional or angry or be carried away.
· Appreciate the viewpoints of others.
· Don't intervene unnecessarily when other speak.
· Make your comment clear, short and crispy.
· Avoid slang language.
· Maintain rapport with fellow participants.
· When someone appreciates your point of view respond positively and say, "Thank-You for your compliment."
· Wind-up on time which can be done by incorporating all important points discussed.
· Leadership - Team Spirit - Communication Skills - Creativity are some of the traits that needs to be demonstrated in a GD.

Proverbs - Thought for a day - Quotations

2010-02-06T18:52:00.003+07:00

01. A bad beginning makes a bad ending.
02. A bad corn promise is better than a good lawsuit.
03. A bad workman quarrels with his tools.
04. A bargain is a bargain.
05. A beggar can never be bankrupt.
06. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
07. A bird may be known by its song.
08. A black hen lays a white egg.
09. A blind leader of the blind.
10. A blind man would be glad to see.
11. A broken friendship may be soldered, but will never be sound.
12. A burden of one's own choice is not felt.
13. A burnt child dreads the fire.
14. A cat in gloves catches no mice.
15. A city that parleys is half gotten.
16. A civil denial is better than a rude grant.
17. A clean fast is better than a dirty breakfast.
18. A clean hand wants no washing..
19. A clear conscience laughs at false accusations.
20. A close mouth catches no flies.
21. A cock is valiant on his own dunghill.
22. A cracked bell can never sound well.
23. A creaking door hangs long on its hinges.
24. A curst cow has short horns.
25. A danger foreseen is half avoided.
26. A drop in the bucket.
27. A drowning man will catch at a straw.
28. A fair face may hide a foul heart.
29. A fault confessed is half redressed.
30. A fly in the ointment.
31. A fool always rushes to the fore.
32. A fool and his money are soon parted.
33. A fool at forty is a fool indeed.
34. A fool may ask more questions in an hour than a wise man can answer in seven years.
35. A fool may throw a stone into a well which a hundred wise men cannot pull out.
36. A fool's tongue runs before his wit.
37. A forced kindness deserves no thanks.
38. A foul morn may turn to a fair day.
39. A fox is not taken twice in the same snare.
40. A friend in need is a friend indeed.
43. A friend is never known till needed.
42. A friend to all is a friend to none.
43. A friend's frown is better than a foe's smile..
44. A good anvil does not fear the hammer.
45. A good beginning is half the battle.
46. A good beginning makes a good ending.
47. A good deed is never lost.
48. A good dog deserves a good bone.
49. A good example is the best sermon.
50. A good face is a letter of recommendation.
51. A good Jack makes a good Jill.
52. A good marksman may miss.
53. A good name is better than riches.
54. A good name is sooner lost than won.
55. A good name keeps its lustre in the dark.
56. A good wife makes a good husband.
57. A great dowry is a bed full of brambles.
58. A great fortune is a great slavery.
59. A great ship asks deep waters.
60. A guilty conscience needs no accuser.
61. A hard nut to crack.
62. A heavy purse makes a light heart.
63. A hedge between keeps friendship green.
64. A honey tongue, a heart of gall.
65. A hungry belly has no ears.
66. A hungry man is an angry man.
67. A Jack of all trades is master of none.
68. A Joke never gains an enemy but often loses a friend.
69. A lawyer never goes to law himself.
70. A lazy sheep thinks its wool heavy.
71. A liar is not believed when he speaks the truth.
72. A lie begets a lie.
73. A light purse is a heavy curse.
74. A light purse makes a heavy heart.
75. A little body often harbours a great soul.
76. A little fire is quickly trodden out.
77. A man can die but once.
78. A man can do no more than he can.
79. A man is known by the company he keeps.
80. A man of words and not of deeds is like a garden full of weeds.
81. A miserly father makes a prodigal son.
82. A miss is as good as a mile.
83. A new broom sweeps clean.
84. A nod from a lord is a breakfast for a fool.
85. A penny saved is a penny gained.
86. A penny soul never came to twopence.
87. A quiet conscience sleeps in thunder.
88. A rolling stone gathers no moss.
89. A round peg in a square hole.
90. A shy cat makes a proud mouse.
91. A silent fool is counted wise.
92. A small leak will sink a great ship.
93. A soft answer turns away wrath.
94. A sound mind in a sound body.
95. A stitch in time saves nine.
96. A storm in a teacup.
97. A tattler is worse than a thief.
98. A thief knows a thief as a wolf knows a wolf.
99. A thief passes for a gentleman when stealing has made him rich.
100. A threatened blow is seldom given.
101. A tree is known by its fruit.
102. A wager is a fool's argument.
103. A watched pot never boils.
104. A wise man changes his mind, a fool never will.
105. A wolf in sheep's clothing.
106. A wonder lasts but nine days.
107. A word is enough to the wise.
108. A word spoken is past recalling.
109. Actions speak louder than words.
110. Adversity is a great schoolmaster.
111. Adversity makes strange bedfellows.
112. After a storm comes a calm.
113. After dinner comes the reckoning.
114. After dinner sit (sleep) a while, after supper walk a mile.
115. After rain comes fair weather.
116. After us the deluge.
117. Agues come on horseback, but go away on foot.
118. All are good lasses, but whence come the bad wives?
119. All are not friends that speak us fair.
120. All are not hunters that blow the horn.
121. All are not merry that dance lightly.
122. All are not saints that go to church.
123. All asses wag their ears.
124. All bread is not baked in one oven.
125. All cats are grey in the dark (in the night).
126. All covet, all lose.
127. All doors open to courtesy.
128. All is fish that comes to his net.
129. All is not lost that is in peril.
130. All is well that ends well.
131. All lay load on the willing horse.
132. All men can't be first.
133. All men can't be masters.
134. All promises are either broken or kept.
135. All roads lead to Rome .
136. All sugar and honey.
137. All that glitters is not gold.
138. All things are difficult before they are easy.
139. All truths are not to be told.
140. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
141. "Almost" never killed a fly (was never hanged).
142. Among the blind the one-eyed man is king.
143. An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
144. An ass in a lion's skin.
145. An ass is but an ass, though laden with gold.
146. An ass loaded with gold climbs to the top of the castle.
147. An empty hand is no lure for a hawk.
148. An empty sack cannot stand upright.
149. An empty vessel gives a greater sound than a full barrel.
150. An evil chance seldom comes alone.
151. An honest tale speeds best, being plainly told.
152. An hour in the morning is worth two in the evening.
153. An idle brain is the devil's workshop.
154. An ill wound is cured, not an ill name.
155. An oak is not felled at one stroke.
156. An old dog barks not in vain.
157. An open door may tempt a saint.
158. An ounce of discretion is worth a pound of learning.
159. An ox is taken by the horns, and a man by the tongue.
160. An unfortunate man would be drowned in a teacup.
161. Anger and haste hinder good counsel.
162. Any port in a storm.
163. Appearances are deceitful.
164. Appetite comes with eating.
165. As drunk as a lord.
166. As innocent as a babe unborn.
167. As like as an apple to an oyster.
168. As like as two peas.
169. As old as the hills.
170. As plain as the nose on a man's face.
171. As plain as two and two make four.
172. As snug as a bug in a rug .
173. As sure as eggs is eggs.
174. As the call, so the echo.
175. As the fool thinks, so the bell clinks.
176. As the old cock crows, so does the young.
177. As the tree falls, so shall it lie.
178. As the tree, so the fruit.
179. As welcome as flowers in May.
180. As welcome as water in one's shoes.
181. As well be hanged for a sheep as for a lamb.
182. As you brew, so must you drink.
183. As you make your bed, so must you lie on it.
184. As you sow, so shall you reap.
185. Ask no questions and you will be told no lies.
186. At the ends of the earth.
187. Bacchus has drowned more men than Neptune .
188. Bad news has wings.
189. Barking does seldom bite.
190. Be slow to promise and quick to perform.
191. Be swift to hear, slow to speak.
192. Beauty is but skin-deep.
193. Beauty lies in lover's eyes.
194. Before one can say Jack Robinson.
195. Before you make a friend eat a bushel of salt with him.
196. Beggars cannot be choosers.
197. Believe not all that you see nor half what you hear.
198. Best defence is offence.
199. Better a glorious death than a shameful life.
200. Better a lean peace than a fat victory.
201. Better a little fire to warm us, than a great one to burn us.
202. Better an egg today than a hen tomorrow.
203. Better an open enemy than a false friend.
204. Better be alone than in bad company.
205. Better be born lucky than rich.
206. Better be envied than pitied.
207. Better be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion.
208. Better deny at once than promise long.
209. Better die standing than live kneeling.
210. Better early than late.
211. Better give a shilling than lend a half-crown.
212. Better go to bed supperless than rise in debt.
213. Better late than never.
214. Better lose a jest than a friend.
215. Better one-eyed than stone-blind.
216. Better the devil you know than the devil you don't.
217. Better the foot slip than the tongue.
218. Better to do well than to say well.
219. Better to reign in hell, than serve in heaven.
220. Better unborn than untaught.
221. Better untaught than ill-taught.
222. Between the cup and the lip a morsel may slip.
223. Between the devil and the deep (blue) sea.
224. Between two evils 'tis not worth choosing.
225. Between two stools one goes (falls) to the ground.
226. Between the upper and nether millstone.
227. Betwixt and between.
228. Beware of a silent dog and still water.
229. Bind the sack before it be full.
230. Birds of a feather flock together.
231. Blind men can judge no colours.
232. Blood is thicker than water.
233. Borrowed garments never fit well.
234. Brevity is the soul of wit.
235. Burn not your house to rid it of the mouse.
236. Business before pleasure.
237. By doing nothing we learn to do ill.
238. By hook or by crook.
239. By the street of 'by-and-bye' one arrives at the house of 'Never'.
240. Calamity is man's true touchstone.
241. Care killed the cat.
242. Catch the bear before you sell his skin.
243. Caution is the parent of safety.
244. Charity begins at home.
245. Cheapest is the dearest.
246. Cheek brings success.
247. Children and fools must not play with edged tools.
248. Children are poor men's riches.
249. Choose an author as you choose a friend.
250. Christmas comes but once a year, (but when it comes it brings good cheer).
251. Circumstances alter cases.
252. Claw me, and I will claw thee.
253. Cleanliness is next to godliness.
254. Company in distress makes trouble less.
255.. Confession is the first step to repentance.
256. Counsel is no command..
257. Creditors have better memories than debtors.
258. Cross the stream where it is shallowest.
259. Crows do not pick crow's eyes.
260. Curiosity killed a cat.
261. Curses like chickens come home to roost.
262. Custom is a second nature.
263. Custom is the plague of wise men and the idol of fools.
264. Cut your coat according to your cloth.
265. Death is the grand leveller.
266. Death pays all debts.
267. Death when it comes will have no denial.
268. Debt is the worst poverty.
269. Deeds, not words.
270. Delays are dangerous.
271. Desperate diseases must have desperate remedies.
272. Diligence is the mother of success (good luck).
273. Diseases are the interests of pleasures.
274. Divide and rule.
275. Do as you would be done by.
276. Dog does not eat dog.
277. Dog eats dog.
278. Dogs that put up many hares kill none.
279. Doing is better than saying.
280. Don't count your chickens before they are hatched.
281. Don't cross the bridges before you come to them.
282. Don't have thy cloak to make when it begins to rain.
283. Don't keep a dog and bark yourself.
284. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
285. Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
286. Don't sell the bear's skin before you've caught it.
287. Don't trouble trouble until trouble troubles you.
288. Don't whistle (halloo) until you are out of the wood.
289. Dot your i's and cross your t's.
290. Draw not your bow till your arrow is fixed.
291. Drive the nail that will go.
292. Drunken days have all their tomorrow.
293. Drunkenness reveals what soberness conceals.
294. Dumb dogs are dangerous.
295. Each bird loves to hear himself sing.
296. Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.
297. Easier said than done.
298. East or West ? home is best.
299. Easy come, easy go.
300.. Eat at pleasure, drink with measure.
301. Empty vessels make the greatest (the most) sound.
302. Enough is as good as a feast.
303. Envy shoots at others and wounds herself.
304. Even reckoning makes long friends.
305. Every ass loves to hear himself bray.
306. Every barber knows that.
307. Every bean has its black.
308. Every bird likes its own nest.
309. Every bullet has its billet.
310. Every country has its customs.
311. Every dark cloud has a silver lining.
312. Every day is not Sunday.
313. Every dog has his day.
314. Every dog is a lion at home.
315. Every dog is valiant at his own door.
316. Every Jack has his Jill.
317. Every man has a fool in his sleeve.
318. Every man has his faults.
319. Every man has his hobby-horse.
320. Every man is the architect of his own fortunes.
321. Every man to his taste.
322. Every miller draws water to his own mill.
323. Every mother thinks her own gosling a swan.
324. Every one's faults are not written in their foreheads.
325. Every tub must stand on its own bottom..
326. Every white has its black, and every sweet its sour.
327. Every why has a wherefore.
328. Everybody's business is nobody's business.
329. Everything comes to him who waits.
330. Everything is good in its season.
331. Evil communications corrupt good manners.
332. Experience is the mother of wisdom.
333. Experience keeps a dear school, but fools learn in no other.
334. Experience keeps no school, she teaches her pupils singly.
335. Extremes meet.
336. Facts are stubborn things..
337. Faint heart never won fair lady.
338. Fair without, foul (false) within.
339. Fair words break no bones.
340. False friends are worse than open enemies.
341. Familiarity breeds contempt.
342. Far from eye, far from heart.
343. Fasting comes after feasting.
344. Faults are thick where love is thin.
345. Feast today and fast tomorrow.
346. Fine feathers make fine birds.
347. Fine words butter no parsnips.
348. First catch your hare.
349. First come, first served.
350. First deserve and then desire.
351. First think, then speak.
352. Fish and company stink in three days.
353. Fish begins to stink at the head.
354. Follow the river and you'll get to the sea.
355. Fool's haste is no speed.
356. Fools and madmen speak the truth.
357. Fools grow without watering.
358. Fools may sometimes speak to the purpose.
359. Fools never know when they are well.
360. Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.
361. For the love of the game.
362. Forbearance is no acquittance.
363. Forbidden fruit is sweet.
364. Forewarned is forearmed.
365. Fortune favours the brave (the bold).
366. Fortune is easily found, but hard to be kept.
367. Four eyes see more (better) than two.
368. Friends are thieves of time.
369. From bad to worse.
370. From pillar to post.
371. Gentility without ability is worse than plain beggary.
372. Get a name to rise early, and you may lie all day.
373. Gifts from enemies are dangerous.
374. Give a fool rope enough, and he will hang himself.
375. Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice.
376. Give him an inch and he'll take an ell.
377.. Give never the wolf the wether to keep.
378. Gluttony kills more men than the sword.
379. Go to bed with the lamb and rise with the lark.
380. Good clothes open all doors.
381. Good counsel does no harm.
382. Good health is above wealth.
383. Good masters make good servants.
384. Good words and no deeds.
385. Good words without deeds are rushes and reeds.
386. Gossiping and lying go hand in hand.
387. Grasp all, lose all.
388. Great barkers are no biters.
389. Great boast, small roast.
390. Great cry and little wool.
391. Great spenders are bad lenders.
392. Great talkers are great liars.
393. Great talkers are little doers.
394. Greedy folk have long arms.
395. Habit cures habit.
396. Half a loaf is better than no bread.
397. "Hamlet" without the Prince of Denmark .
398. Handsome is that handsome does.
399. Happiness takes no account of time.
400. Happy is he that is happy in his children.
401. Hard words break no bones.
402. Hares may pull dead lions by the beard.
403. Harm watch, harm catch.
404. Haste makes waste.
405. Hasty climbers have sudden falls.
406. Hate not at the first harm.
407. Hatred is blind, as well as love.
408. Hawks will not pick hawks' eyes.
409. He begins to die that quits his desires.
410.. He cannot speak well that cannot hold his tongue.
411. He carries fire in one hand and water in the other.
412. He dances well to whom fortune pipes.
413. He gives twice who gives in a trice.
414. He goes long barefoot that waits for dead man's shoes.
415. He is a fool that forgets himself.
416. He is a good friend that speaks well of us behind our backs.
417. He is happy that thinks himself so.
418. He is lifeless that is faultless.
419. He is not fit to command others that cannot command himself.
420. He is not laughed at that laughs at himself first.
421. He is not poor that has little, but he that desires much.
422. He jests at scars that never felt a wound.
423. He knows best what good is that has endured evil.
424. He knows how many beans make five.
425. He knows much who knows how to hold his tongue.
426. He laughs best who laughs last.
427. He lives long that lives well.
428. He must needs swim that is held up by the chin.
429. He should have a long spoon that sups with the devil.
430. He smells best that smells of nothing.
431. He that comes first to the hill may sit where he will.
432. He that commits a fault thinks everyone speaks of it.
433. He that does you an i!i turn will never forgive you.
434. He that fears every bush must never go a-birding.
435. He that fears you present wiil hate you absent.
436. He that goes a borrowing, goes a sorrowing.
437.. He that goes barefoot must not plant thorns.
438. He that has a full purse never wanted a friend.
439. He that has a great nose thinks everybody is speaking of it.
440. He that has an ill name is half hanged.
441. He that has no children knows not what love is.
442. He that has He head needs no hat.
443. He that has no money needs no purse.
444. He that is born to be hanged shall never be drowned.
445. He that is full of himself is very empty.
446. He that is ill to himself will be good to nobody.
447. He that is warm thinks all so.
448. He that knows nothing doubts nothing.
449. He that lies down with dogs must rise up with fleas.
450. He that lives with cripples learns to limp.
451. He that mischief hatches, mischief catches.
452. He that never climbed never fell.
453. He that once deceives is ever suspected.
454. He that promises too much means nothing.
455. He that respects not is not respected.
456. He that seeks trouble never misses.
457. He that serves everybody is paid by nobody.
458. He that serves God for money will serve the devil for better wages.
459. He that spares the bad injures the good.
460. He that talks much errs much.
461. He that talks much lies much.
462. He that will eat the kernel must crack the nut.
463. He that will not when he may, when he will he shall have nay.
464. He that will steal an egg will steal an ox.
465. He that will thrive, must rise at five.
466. He that would eat the fruit must climb the tree.
467.. He that would have eggs must endure the cackling of hens.
468. He who is born a fool is never cured.
469. He who hesitates is lost.
470. He who likes borrowing dislikes paying.
471. He who makes no mistakes, makes nothing.
472. He who pleased everybody died before he was born.
473. He who says what he likes, shall hear what he doesn't like.
474. He who would catch fish must not mind getting wet.
475. He who would eat the nut must first crack the shell.
476. He who would search for pearls must dive below.
477. He will never set the Thames on fire.
478. He works best who knows his trade.
479. Head cook and bottle-washer.
480. Health is not valued till sickness comes.
481. His money burns a hole in his pocket.
482. Honesty is the best policy.
483. Honey is not for the ass's mouth.
484. Honey is sweet, but the bee stings.
485. Honour and profit lie not in one sack.
486. Honours change manners..
487. Hope is a good breakfast, but a bad supper.
488. Hope is the poor man's bread.
489. Hunger breaks stone walls.
490. Hunger finds no fault with cookery.
491. Hunger is the best sauce.
492. Hungry bellies have no ears.
493. Idle folks lack no excuses.
494. Idleness is the mother of all evil.
495. Idleness rusts the mind.
496. If an ass (donkey) bray at you, don't bray at him.
497. If ifs and ans were pots and pans...
498. If my aunt had been a man, she'd have been my uncle.
499. If the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch..
500. If the sky falls, we shall catch larks.
501. If there were no clouds, we should not enjoy the sun.
502. If things were to be done twice all would be wise.
503. If we can't as we would, we must do as we can.
504. If wishes were horses, beggars might ride.
505. If you agree to carry the calf, they'll make you carry the cow.
506. If you cannot bite, never show your teeth.
507. If you cannot have the best, make the best of what you have.
508. If you dance you must pay the fiddler.
509. If you laugh before breakfast you'll cry before supper.
510. If you run after two hares, you will catch neither.
511. If you sell the cow, you sell her milk too.
512. If you throw mud enough, some of it will stick.
513. If you try to please all you will please none.
514. If you want a thing well done, do it yourself.
515. Ill-gotten gains never prosper.
516. Ill-gotten, ill-spent.
517. In every beginning think of the end.
518. In for a penny, in for a pound.
519. In the country of the blind one-eyed man is a king.
520. In the end things will mend.
521. In the evening one may praise the day.
522. Iron hand (fist) in a velvet glove.
523. It is a good horse that never stumbles.
524. It is a long lane that has no turning.
525. It is a poor mouse that has only one hole.
526. It is an ill bird that fouls its own nest.
527. It is an ill wind that blows nobody good.
528. It is a silly fish, that is caught twice with the same bait.
529. It is easy to swim if another hoids up your chin (head).
530. It is enough to make a cat laugh.
531. It is good fishing in troubled waters.
532. It is never too late to learn.
533. It is no use crying over spilt milk.
534. It is the first step that costs.
535. It never rains but it pours.
536. It's as broad as it's long.
537. It's no use pumping a dry well.
538. It's one thing to flourish and another to fight.
539. It takes all sorts to make a world.
540. Jackdaw in peacock's feathers.
541. Jest with an ass and he will flap you in the face with his tail.
542. Judge not of men and things at first sight.
543. Just as the twig is bent, the tree is inclined.
544. Keep a thing seven years and you will find a use for it.
545. Keep your mouth shut and your ears open.
546. Keep your mouth shut and your eyes open.
547. Last, but not least.
548. Laws catch flies, but let hornets go free.
549. Learn to creep before you leap.
550. Learn to say before you sing.
551. Learn wisdom by the follies of others.
552. Least said, soonest mended.
553.. Leaves without figs.
554. Let bygones be bygones.
555. Let every man praise the bridge he goes over.
556. Let sleeping dogs lie.
557. Let well (enough) alone.
558. Liars need good memories.
559. Lies have short legs.
560. Life is but a span.
561. Life is not a bed of roses.
562. Life is not all cakes and ale (beer and skittles).
563. Like a cat on hot bricks.
564. Like a needle in a haystack.
565. Like begets like.
566. Like cures like.
567. Like father, like son.
568. Like draws to like.
569. Like master, like man.
570. Like mother, like daughter.
571. Like parents, like children.
572. Like priest, like people.
573. Like teacher, like pupil.
574. Little chips light great fires.
575. Little knowledge is a dangerous thing.
576.. Little pigeons can carry great messages.
577. Little pitchers have long ears.
578. Little strokes fell great oaks.
579. Little thieves are hanged, but great ones escape.
580. Little things amuse little minds.
581. Live and learn.
582. Live and let live.
583. Live not to eat, but eat to live.
584. Long absent, soon forgotten.
585. Look before you leap.
586. Look before you leap, but having leapt never look back.
587. Lookers-on see more than players.
588. Lord (God, Heaven) helps those (them) who help themselves.
589. Lost time is never found again.
590. Love cannot be forced.
591. Love in a cottage.
592. Love is blind, as well as hatred.
593. Love me, love my dog.
594. Love will creep where it may not go.
595. Make haste slowly.
596. Make hay while the sun shines.
597. Make or mar.
598. Man proposes but God disposes.
599. Many a fine dish has nothing on it.
600. Many a good cow has a bad calf.
601. Many a good father has but a bad son.
602. Many a little makes a mickle.
603. Many a true word is spoken in jest.
604. Many hands make light work.
605. Many men, many minds.
606. Many words hurt more than swords.
607. Many words will not fill a bushel.
608. Marriages are made in heaven.
609. Measure for measure.
610. Measure thrice and cut once.
611. Men may meet but mountains never.
612. Mend or end (end or mend).
613. Might goes before right.
614. Misfortunes never come alone (singly).
615. Misfortunes tell us what fortune is.
616. Money begets money.
617. Money has no smell.
618. Money is a good servant but a bad master.
619. Money often unmakes the men who make it.
620. Money spent on the brain is never spent in vain.
621. More haste, less speed.
622. Much ado about nothing.
623. Much will have more.
624. Muck and money go together.
625. Murder will out.
626. My house is my castle.
627. Name not a rope in his house that was hanged.
628. Necessity is the mother of invention.
629. Necessity knows no law.
630. Neck or nothing.
631. Need makes the old wife trot.
632. Needs must when the devil drives.
633. Neither fish nor flesh.
634. Neither here nor there.
635. Neither rhyme nor reason.
636. Never cackle till your egg is laid.
637. Never cast dirt into that fountain of which you have sometime drunk.
638. Never do things by halves.
639. Never fry a fish till it's caught.
640. Never offer to teach fish to swim.
641. Never put off till tomorrow what you can do (can be done) today.
642. Never quit certainty for hope.
643. Never too much of a good thing.
644. Never try to prove what nobody doubts.
645. Never write what you dare not sign.
646. New brooms sweep clean.
647. New lords, new laws.
648. Nightingales will not sing in a cage.
649. No flying from fate.
650. No garden without its weeds.
651.. No great loss without some small gain.
652. No herb will cure love.
653. No joy without alloy.
654. No living man all things can.
655. No longer pipe, no longer dance.
656. No man is wise at all times.
657. No man loves his fetters, be they made of gold.
658. No news (is) good news.
659. No pains, no gains.
660. No song, no supper.
661. No sweet without (some) sweat.
662. No wisdom like silence.
663. None but the brave deserve the fair.
664. None so blind as those who won't see..
665. None so deaf as those that won't hear.
666. Nothing comes out of the sack but what was in it.
667. Nothing is impossible to a willing heart.
668. Nothing must be done hastily but killing of fleas.
669. Nothing so bad, as not to be good for something.
670. Nothing succeeds like success.
671. Nothing venture, nothing have.
672. Oaks may fall when reeds stand the storm.
673. Of two evils choose the least.
674. Old birds are not caught with chaff.
675. Old friends and old wine are best.
676. On Shank's mare.
677. Once bitten, twice shy.
678. Once is no rule (custom).
679. One beats the bush, and another catches the bird.
680. One chick keeps a hen busy.
681. One drop of poison infects the whole tun of wine.
682. One fire drives out another.
683. One good turn deserves another.
684. One law for the rich, and another for the poor.
685. One lie makes many.
686. One link broken, the whole chain is broken.
687. One man, no man.
688. One man's meat is another man's poison.
689. One scabby sheep will mar a whole flock.
690. One swallow does not make a summer.
691. One today is worth two tomorrow.
692. Open not your door when the devil knocks.
693. Opinions differ.
694. Opportunity makes the thief.
695. Out of sight, out of mind.
696. Out of the frying-pan into the fire.
697. Packed like herrings.
698. Patience is a plaster for all sores.
699. Penny-wise and pound-foolish.
700. Pleasure has a sting in its tail.
701. Plenty is no plague.
702. Politeness costs little (nothing), but yields much.
703. Poverty is no sin.
704. Poverty is not a shame, but the being ashamed of it is.
705. Practise what you preach.
706. Praise is not pudding.
707. Pride goes before a fall.
708. Procrastination is the thief of time.
709. Promise is debt.
710. Promise little, but do much.
711. Prosperity makes friends, and adversity tries them.
712. Put not your hand between the bark and the tree.
713. Rain at seven, fine at eleven.
714. Rats desert a sinking ship.
715. Repentance is good, but innocence is better.
716. Respect yourself, or no one else will respect you.
717. Roll my log and I will roll yours.
718. Rome was not built in a day.
719. Salt water and absence wash away love.
720. Saying and doing are two things.
721. Score twice before you cut once.
722. Scornful dogs will eat dirty puddings.
723. Scratch my back and I'll scratch yours.
724. Self done is soon done.
725. Self done is well done.
726. Self is a bad counsellor.
727. Self-praise is no recommendation.
728. Set a beggar on horseback and he'll ride to the devil.
729. Set a thief to catch a thief.
730. Shallow streams make most din.
731. Short debts (accounts) make long friends.
732. Silence gives consent.
733. Since Adam was a boy.
734. Sink or swim!
735. Six of one and half a dozen of the other.
736. Slow and steady wins the race.
737. Slow but sure.
738. Small rain lays great dust.
739. So many countries, so many customs.
740. So many men, so many minds.
741. Soft fire makes sweet malt.
742. Something is rotten in the state of Denmark .
743. Soon learnt, soon forgotten.
744. Soon ripe, soon rotten.
745. Speak (talk) of the devil and he will appear (is sure to appear).
746. Speech is silver but silence is gold.
747. Standers-by see more than gamesters.
748. Still waters run deep.
749. Stolen pleasures are sweetest.
750. Stretch your arm no further than your sleeve will reach.
751. Stretch your legs according to the coverlet.
752. Strike while the iron is hot.
753. Stuff today and starve tomorrow.
754. Success is never blamed.
755. Such carpenters, such chips.
756. Sweep before your own door.
757. Take care of the pence and the pounds will take care of themselves.
758. Take us as you find us.
759. Tarred with the same brush.
760. Tastes differ.
761. Tell that to the marines.
762. That cock won't fight.
763. That which one least anticipates soonest comes to pass.
764. That's a horse of another colour.
765. That's where the shoe pinches!
766. The beggar may sing before the thief (before a footpad).
767. The best fish smell when they are three days old.
768. The best fish swim near the bottom.
769. The best is oftentimes the enemy of the good.
770. The busiest man finds the most leisure.
771. The camel going to seek horns lost his ears.
772. The cap fits.
773. The cask savours of the first fill.
774. The cat shuts its eyes when stealing cream.
775. The cat would eat fish and would not wet her paws.
776. The chain is no stronger than its weakest link.
777. The cobbler should stick to his last.
778. The cobbler's wife is the worst shod.
779. The darkest hour is that before the dawn.
780. The darkest place is under the candlestick.
781. The devil is not so black as he is painted.
782. The devil knows many things because he is old.
783. The devil lurks behind the cross.
784. The devil rebuking sin.
785. The dogs bark, but the caravan goes on.
786. The Dutch have taken Holland !
787. The early bird catches the worm.
788. The end crowns the work.
789. The end justifies the means.
790. The evils we bring on ourselves are hardest to bear.
791. The exception proves the rule.
792. The face is the index of the mind.
793.. The falling out of lovers is the renewing of love.
794. The fat is in the fire.
795. The first blow is half the battle.
796. The furthest way about is the nearest way home.
797. The game is not worth the candle..
798. The heart that once truly loves never forgets.
799. The higher the ape goes, the more he shows his tail.
800. The last drop makes the cup run over.
801. The last straw breaks the camel's back.
802. The leopard cannot change its spots.
803. The longest day has an end.
804. The mill cannot grind with the water that is past.
805. The moon does not heed the barking of dogs.
806. The more haste, the less speed.
807. The more the merrier.
808. The morning sun never lasts a day.
809. The mountain has brought forth a mouse.
810. The nearer the bone, the sweeter the flesh.
811. The pitcher goes often to the well but is broken at last.
812. The pot calls the kettle black.
813. The proof of the pudding is in the eating.
814. The receiver is as bad as the thief.
815. The remedy is worse than the disease.
816. The rotten apple injures its neighbours.
817. The scalded dog fears cold water.
818. The tailor makes the man.
819. The tongue of idle persons is never idle.
820. The voice of one man is the voice of no one.
821. The way (the road) to hell is paved with good intentions.
822. The wind cannot be caught in a net.
823. The work shows the workman.
824. There are lees to every wine.
825. There are more ways to the wood than one.
826. There is a place for everything, and everything in its place.
827. There is more than one way to kill a cat.
828. There is no fire without smoke.
829. There is no place like home.
830. There is no rose without a thorn.
831. There is no rule without an exception.
832. There is no smoke without fire.
833. There's many a slip 'tween (== between) the cup and the lip.
834. There's no use crying over spilt milk.
835. They are hand and glove.
836. They must hunger in winter that will not work in summer.
837. Things past cannot be recalled.
838. Think today and speak tomorrow.
839. Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones.
840. Time and tide wait for no man.
841. Time cures all things.
842. Time is money.
843. Time is the great healer.
844. Time works wonders.
845. To add fuel (oil) to the fire (flames).
846. To angle with a silver hook.
847. To be born with a silver spoon in one's mouth.
848. To be head over ears in debt.
849. To be in one's birthday suit.
850. To be up to the ears in love.
851. To be wise behind the hand.
852. To beat about the bush.
853. To beat the air.
854. To bring grist to somebody's mill.
855. To build a fire under oneself.
856. To buy a pig in a poke.
857. To call a spade a spade.
858. To call off the dogs.
859. To carry coals to Newcastle.
860. To cast pearls before swine.
861. To cast prudence to the winds.
862. To come away none the wiser.
863. To come off cheap.
864. To come off with a whole skin.
865. To come off with flying colours.
866. To come out dry.
867. To come out with clean hands.
868. To cook a hare before catching him.
869. To cry with one eye and laugh with the other.
870. To cut one's throat with a feather.
871. To draw (pull) in one's horns.
872. To drop a bucket into an empty well.
873. To draw water in a sieve.
874. To eat the calf in the cow's belly.
875. To err is human.
876. To fiddle while Rome is burning.
877. To fight with one's own shadow.
878. To find a mare's nest.
879. To fish in troubled waters.
880. To fit like a glove.
881. To flog a dead horse.
882. To get out of bed on the wrong side.
883. To give a lark to catch a kite.
884. To go for wool and come home shorn.
885. To go through fire and water (through thick and thin).
886. To have a finger in the pie.
887. To have rats in the attic.
888. To hit the nail on the head.
889. To kick against the pricks.
890. To kill two birds with one stone.
891. To know everything is to know nothing.
892. To know on which side one's bread is buttered.
893. To know what's what.
894. To lay by for a rainy day.
895. To live from hand to mouth.
896. To lock the stable-door after the horse is stolen.
897. To look for a needle in a haystack.
898. To love somebody (something) as the devil loves holy water.
899. To make a mountain out of a molehill.
900. To make both ends meet.
901. To make the cup run over.
902. To make (to turn) the air blue.
903. To measure another man's foot by one's own last.
904. To measure other people's corn by one's own bushel.
905. To pay one back in one's own coin.
906. To plough the sand.
907. To pour water into a sieve.
908. To pull the chestnuts out of the fire for somebody.
909. To pull the devil by the tail.
910. To put a spoke in somebody's wheel.
911. To put off till Doomsday.
912. To put (set) the cart before the horse.
913. To rob one's belly to cover one's back.
914. To roll in money.
915. To run with the hare and hunt with the hounds.
916. To save one's bacon.
917. To send (carry) owls to Athens .
918. To set the wolf to keep the sheep.
919. To stick to somebody like a leech.
920. To strain at a gnat and swallow a camel.
921. To take counsel of one's pillow.
922. To take the bull by the horns.
923. To teach the dog to bark.
924. To tell tales out of school.
925. To throw a stone in one's own garden.
926. To throw dust in somebody's eyes.
927. To throw straws against the wind.
928. To treat somebody with a dose of his own medicine.
929. To use a steam-hammer to crack nuts.
930. To wash one's dirty linen in public.
931. To wear one's heart upon one's sleeve.
932. To weep over an onion.
933. To work with the left hand.
934. Tomorrow come never.
935. Too many cooks spoil the broth.
936. Too much knowledge makes the head bald.
937. Too much of a good thing is good for nothing.
938. Too much water drowned the miller .
939. Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow.
940. True blue will never stain.
941. True coral needs no painter's brush.
942. Truth comes out of the mouths of babes and sucklings.
943. Truth is stranger than fiction.
944. Truth lies at the bottom of a well.
945. Two blacks do not make a white.
946. Two heads are better than one.
947. Two is company, but three is none.
948. Velvet paws hide sharp claws.
949. Virtue is its own reward.
950. Wait for the cat to jump.
951. Walls have ears.
952. Wash your dirty linen at home.
953. Waste not, want not.
954. We know not what is good until we have lost it.
955. We never know the value of water till the well is dry.
956. We shall see what we shall see.
957. We soon believe what we desire.
958. Wealth is nothing without health.
959. Well begun is half done.
960. What can't be cured, must be endured.
961. What is bred in the bone will not go out of the flesh.
962. What is done by night appears by day.
963. What is done cannot be undone.
964. What is got over the devil's back is spent under his belly.
965. What is lost is lost.
966. What is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.
967. What is worth doing at alt is worth doing well.
968. What must be, must be.
969. What the heart thinks the tongue speaks.
970. What we do willingly is easy.
971. When angry, count a hundred.
972. When at Rome, do as the Romans do.
973. When children stand quiet, they have done some harm.
974. When flatterers meet, the devil goes to dinner.
975. When guns speak it is too late to argue.
976. When pigs fly.
977. When Queen Anne was alive.
978. When the cat is away, the mice will play.
979. When the devil is blind.
980. When the fox preaches, take care of your geese.
981. When the pinch comes, you remember the old shoe.
982. When three know it, alt know it.
983. When wine is in wit is out.
984. Where there's a will, there's a way.
985. While the grass grows the horse starves.
986. While there is life there is hope.
987. Who breaks, pays.
988. Who has never tasted bitter, knows not what is sweet.
989. Who keeps company with the wolf, will learn to howl.
990. Wise after the event.
991. With time and patience the leaf of the mulberry becomes satin.
992. Words pay no debts.
993. You can take a horse to the water but you cannot make him drink.
994. You cannot eat your cake and have it.
995. You cannot flay the same ox twice.
996. You cannot judge a tree by it bark.
997. You cannot teach old dogs new tricks.
998. You cannot wash charcoal white.
999. You made your bed, now lie in it.
1000. Zeal without knowledge is a runaway horse.

Lessons from Life

2010-02-03T19:15:00.000+07:00

Life will offer us many opportunities to learn lessons.

We can try to close our minds but
the lesson will not be put off for long.
A new experience of the same lesson
will surround us until we pay attention
and deal with the situation.

We must realize 3 things:

1) All of our challenges are
simply opportunities for personal growth.

2) Every lesson has a gift for us and
when we learn the lesson, we'll get the reward.

3) No challenge comes that earlier lessons
haven't prepared us for.

It has been said,

"Life is a battle in which we fall from wounds we receive in running away."

Don't run...

even when the lessons aren't easy or pleasant.

We each have a unique contribution to make to this
world and learning our lessons frees us to do that.