ShanesWorld

This Isn't Exactly What I Meant To Post

Shane Birley — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 16:31:11 +0000

I have been quite busy with the day job of late but I have had some time to get back to writing some new posts. I was intending on starting this coming weekend but I couldn't not share this song.

For all you literary types, you will really get a kick out of this.

Happy Canada Day, You Hosers!

Shane Birley — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 21:34:21 +0000

What does it mean to be a Canadian? Superman.

Fearing The Twitter Impersonator?

administrator — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 03:08:07 +0000

I never thought I would need to worry about someone pretending to be me but, as of today, it may have happened. Well, not really -- but there is potential for it to go very badly.

A few weeks ago, my mother asked me a question about Twitter and, during the conversation, she mentioned a Twitter account name that I didn’t recognize. I recognized it somewhat because it was my name. But what I didn’t recognize was my full name being used as a Twitter account.

I pulled out my trusty phone and pulled up my mother’s “following” list and was horrified to discover that indeed someone had registered @shanebirley and it appeared to have been registered for a while (a few weeks at least).

At first, I thought it must be an account I must have registered at some time in the past and had just forgotten. A quick password request fixed that notion as I didn’t receive any password request via e-mail. I decided after that to forget about it as no one was using it. That decision lasted all of twenty minutes as I began to have all sorts of horrifying thoughts about what someone may do with the account. I mean, it is my name, after all. I have never found anyone with my name which leads me to believe that I am unique! (Finally, I can say that out loud! I am ME and there is only one ME! Thanks, Interwebs.)

So, here I am. A guy without his real name as a Twitter account. For now, just know, that account is not me. I will relate my story as it unfolds.

I'm Going To Go Back There Someday

administrator — Wed, 19 May 2010 23:04:30 +0000

Still getting back into the blogging schedule for myself. It isn't easy, I can tell you. So, for now, here is my most favourite song ever from the Muppets.

Taking It On The Chin

Shane Birley — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 21:55:18 +0000

If you are a blogger and you're anything like me, I tend to slack off when blogging for myself. This doesn't mean I am not thinking about blogging - I am normally blogging for others, the company, or teaching someone how to blog without burning out. So, here is a cute pug video.

CIBC Fires Back (But In A Nice Way)

Shane Birley — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 07:07:58 +0000

I have something to share. This "something" is a shocking experience in my world. Some small bit of my worldly foundation has been rocked and cracks have appeared. What could this shocking experience could have been?

On Monday of this past week, CIBC called me. Not some random sales call. It was "the CIBC". I am sure you'll know what they may have called me about. If not, read here.

Yah. They did.

Early on Monday morning, my phone rang. I reached over to grab my handset but paused when I saw "CIBC" on the caller ID. I thought for a moment:

"Why would the CIBC be calling me?"

A moment paused and, somewhere in the dark recesses of my brain, a penny (or perhaps a few thousand pennies) dropped. My "red alert" alarm went off. My internal DEFCON level zoomed to the hightest setting. Shields went up and the battlements were manned. Somewhere a group of elven archers notched a few hundred arrows. I was a little surprised at the level of anger that rose inside me. My fight or flight decision went instantly to raging fight and I was ready to give whomever was on the other end a piece of my mind.

Of course, all of this happened in an instant. I picked up the receiver.

"Left Right Minds. Shane speaking." I said.

"Hello, Mr. Birley. This is so-and-so. I am calling you from the CIBC customer service department and I would like to talk to you about your experince with CIBC."

For the first few moments of the conversation, I thought they were out to "get me". I was waiting to hear words like "slander" or "defamation". I was expecting to hear phrases like "break your kneecaps", "cement shoes", or a "pair of pliers and a blowtorch".

But I did not get these words nor the phrases.

In a very positive and upbeat tone I heard words like "unacceptable" and phrases like "ashamed about the poor levels of service".

I didn't know what to say. "Was this really happening?", I thought. Was this bank that I had been demonizing for years actually calling me to ask about my experience? Never in a thousand phone calls had I thought CIBC would respond to me - and in such a personal way.

According to what the lady on the other end of the phone said, here is what happened on their end.

Apparently, someone at CIBC had found my blog and had reported it to the customer service department. They read my postings and checked out some of the comments and then they sought me out. They called me at my day job number (the only number I post publically on the Internet) to apologize for my experience.

I was shocked and a little humbled. In my mind, I had painted this bank as being an uncaring corporation that was blind to the front lines. I had concluded that CIBC hired nothing but robotic space monkeys from Iscandar and reaped the profits their army of numbskulls acquired.

We had a pleasant conversation (once my hackles settled down) and she seemed genuinely upset that I had such experiences with CIBC.

Here is what the conversation boiled down to:

CIBC has a problem.
CIBC needs to train their "trench staff" better. (My words.)
CIBC should review how they share information from the top.
CIBC needs to rethink how their branch managers deal with training tellers and their office staff. It is obvious (to me) that the training standards of CIBC are very poor.
CIBC staff should "know" the system they use every day and should be able to have process and procedure information at their fingertips. They should not have to seek out other staff for simple procedures such as the closure of accounts on weekends.
CIBC should think about how to solve PST and EST issues so that PST time zone clients are not penalized for living on the West coast of Canada.

She pointed out that the PST/EST issue is eluded to in the terms of service (as being 6PM EST) but I said that this was stupid to expect clients of banks to read every little detail in their terms of service. In today's world, most individuals will read the big print and walk away thinking they know everything. Writing such an important detail is not clear enough. Expectations like this will create can arise. And before those of you out there start commenting that "it is the clients responsibility to read every detail" - let me stop you before you start. Why? Well, simply put: I don't care. What I do care about is a company needs to assume that their clients are NOT going to read things like a terms of service. Details as important as:

"Hey, buddy, by the way - if you pay at 3:01pm in your time zone, you'll get a penalty because you don't live in Toronto."

To me, putting those kinds of details out for all to see is important (and no, terms don't count) enough to invest in a little more paper and ink. They should also make their services more obvious. Terms of service are written to cover a whole lot of issues that a typical business needs to struggle with. But they are not a solution.

Anyway, in regards to the call, that was about it.

I hung up the phone and didn't know what to think. This call had put a human face on CIBC. I won't publish her name but the person on the other end of the phone wasn't some vampiric character from a Poe (or Rice) novel. She was sorry. She didn't fight with me or try to tell me I had just missed some small type here or there. She listened and responded to my typical commentary. There weren't tears or anything like that but she was genuinely interested in how CIBC could learn from my experience and how they could do better. I know CIBC won't be able to solve such issues overnight but, wow, the fact that someone - a human voice - took the time to call me about my online blathering was shocking. (Have I said "shocking" enough for one post?)

Does this change my mind about CIBC? It does a little bit. I still think the CIBC has some head office to branch issues and I still think that such a large bank should launch themselves into the 2010s and use some of that online juice to let their employees know what is what. Their clients base is changing. People are more connected and "choosy" than ever. Those who used banks and accepted how banks did business is changing. In this economy, maybe banks should be a little more active in their outreach as well.

Anyway. There you go. A little heavy for a Saturday night but I have to give CIBC a few kudos for trying. They came far to late but I can't ignore that they didn't try. Will they take my comments to heart or, at the very least, read them. I hope so. It won't bring me back to CIBC but - dammit - I can't say they are 100% demon spawn either.

Damn. I was hoping CIBC was ruling the legion of the undead.

The Vancouver 2010 Olympics

Shane Birley — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 05:54:40 +0000

You know what is stupid about this post? I had a great idea and some thoughts that we so amazing that the fabric of reality would have bent slightly to make room for the most brilliant ideas ever conceived. Sadly, this is not the case now since I was distracted reading something mundane (about how to control comment spam on a blog) and have since forgotten what the most amazing idea I had was. Thankfully, my quick witted self has come up with a back up plan: here are a few shots of the things I have been doing during the Vancouver Olympics.

A very good friend of mine, Lock, dropped in last weekend and we also headed downtown to check out what was going on. We found out: lines, lines, lines. Oh, and a zipline too.

The Space Shuttle Challenger Explosion

Shane Birley — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 08:02:18 +0000

It is amazing what you forget. I never considered important memories being lost to the murk of time. Yet, today I was reminded of such a moment that, I believe, defined my belief that space travel is one of the greatest things we do. It was only the other day that I was reading an article about the plight of the Spirit Mars Rover and how it has become stuck in a sand bog of some kinds. The NASA people are trying to get it out but they are facing a reality that the rover may be stuck where it is. I was saddened by this since I have thought of these rovers for some time and I do check on them from time to time. Much like a mother hen. As long as they are running and working on the deserts of Mars, everything about the world is okay.

So, it took me a little by surprise when, I was reminded about the Space Shuttle Challenge r. I hadn't thought about it for years and years. My memory of the incident are somewhat vague but I will never forget the Time Magazine cover of the disaster. The Challenger explosion was the first time I think I had any thought about death. I had pets that has passed away but it was never quite the same thing. I remember the main reason I remember anything about the Challenger was that we had done some kind of project at my school about the Space Shuttle since a teacher was going to be a member of that trip. It was a big deal. A "non-astronaut" was having the chance to do something that mere mortals such as myself were not allowed to do. It was like stealing from the cookie jar knowing you wouldn't get in trouble. In other words, it was exciting.

But, here is what happened:

I think this is one of the most terrifying videos that exist. We've all seen terrorist suicide bombers (even back then) and whatnot but I think the feeling of utter helplessness is more terrifying. Imagine having been inside the shuttle and hearing something go wrong and then - nothing. It happened to the Columbia a few years ago and it was a reminder about the dangers of space travel.

You know what? I think he did say it best. As much as we like to make fun of "Ronny" nowadays, this was one of his shining moments. I think that is enough for one night. Off to bed.

Help Save The Bloedel Conservatory

Shane Birley — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 23:13:20 +0000

I can't believe it. I just found out that the Bloedel Conservatory here in Vancouver is closing its doors because of alien invasion or something. Of all the places that are going to CLOSE because of the Olympics - this is one that should have received some money to help maintain and promote it during the city wide event. I could also say something nasty about the city council but I won't because they are the best we've had in some time - maybe. Also, if you know me at all, I am not a lover of the 2010 Olympic Games. As time has gone on and the preparations have mounted, money has been spent and spent and spent, far outside of the budget. VANOC has also admitted they are way above budget and are now dipping into their emergency fund. If you live in Vancouver, who know who's pocket that is. With taxes on the rise because of the games, this is one of those situations where money has not been allocated properly. Can anyone say athlete's village?

Do you want to help? Here are some links:

What To Do About Norman Fell

administrator — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 08:37:59 +0000

I have a wide variety of interests. Just ask anyone I know and they will tell you with no uncertainty what-so-ever: "Shane is interested in that?" I think about obsecure stuff all the time and I am sure I think far too much for any healthy human being. I think about things I am sure no other human being on the planet (or just those I interact with regularly) would consider to be situations that could exist in this time-continuum. Which, of course, begs the question: what am thinking about today?

I will happily tell you with no uncertainty what-so-ever: do you ever think about Norman Fell?

If you're around my age and took a moment or two to catch an episode of Three's Company, you would know him. Remember Mr. Roper? That is Norman Fell. The guy (according to the little information I can find) was a rock solid kind of guy. He was able to match wits with Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin while having the comedic funny bone to pull off the thankless job that was Mr. Roper. I suppose it wasn't that thankless since his Mr. Roper role landed him a two season stint on The Ropers, but who is really counting. So, what the heck am I talking about a guy who passed on just over twelve years ago? The Rat Pack, that is what.

I am sure I have written about this before but, over the last year, I have been reading a lot of autobiographies and a few biographies. I have read about dancers, singers, actors, writers and, more recently, been interested in learning about the Rat Pack. It all started when I checked out a couple of autobiographies from the library (Alan Alda and Jerry Lewis, I think) and, for some reason, I loved reading them so much I haven't been able to stop. I have become somewhat addicted to this style of writing. What I think I love about these books is the fact I am reading about a real person (or as real as they will let themselves be). What surprises me is the "six degrees" that seems to happen. So and so met up with another so and so and - bam - they did a flick together or recorded a duet. There is really nothing suprising about this but we're talking about famous people here. God, I am starting to sound like those stupid shows like Entertainment Tonight. Moving on.

As I was saying, I am reading about the exploits of the Rat Pack. I mean, people, this is the frakin' Rat Pack! If I were around in those days and involved in Hollywood I would have killed a guy to have been granted membership even if it were for a few moments! And this is what brought me to the subject of Norman Fell. According to a couple of things I have read, the guy was a member. If they had some kind of lapel pin he would be one of the few who wore one. And, well, there you have it. Pointless trivia for your day.

I guess what is driving me to learn about "famous people" is a desire to understand what will I leave behind when I go. Dean Martin left behind music, a voice, and an impression that he screwed Jerry Lewis over after ten years together on the Hollywood circuit. William Shatner appears to be completely oblivious to the resounding fact that his co-stars (during the 1960s, anyway) didn't like him at all. (With the exception of Nimoy.) They thought he was a jerk and I believe the one who the most annoyed was Walter Koenig. If you ever get to reading his book, this first five pages are like an advertisement for how much of an asshole Shatner was.

Anyway, I wonder what people will say about me fifty years down the road. Anything nice? Drivel about how they didn't really know me? I know what they are saying about me currently and you can all take a full mouthful of some dirty cheddar. I am kidding, of course - or am I?

I am rambling, as I normally do, but I can't escape this feeling that I have been reading the words written by people I could have run into on the street and it has touched me somehow. A kind of time travel has been experienced (to paraphrase Stephen King from his book On Writing). Norman Fell was just a guy who worked as an actor and became known as that role and, for some reason, it left a lasting impression on me. It just makes me wonder about my lasting impression - on the ladies. (Cough.) I meant to say, "on the world". I have a bunch of thoughts colliding at the moment and, as usual, it is quite late and I really should head off to bed.

Strange little tid-bit about Mr. Fell. The guy was a tail gunner in World War II. Of all the places in a B-17 (or whatever plane he served in), I would not want to be in the tail. You've got the guys on the side guns and in the ball turret underneath - but the tail. It is like wearing a bullseye on your forehead.

And, So, It Has Come To This: Conan O'Brien Is Gone From The Tonight Show

Shane Birley — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 03:08:39 +0000

I don't watch The Tonight Show. It hasn't been on my television watching schedule for years and years. These days, if I find myself awake and in the mood for some mindless entertainment, I normally tune in and watch The Hour or Late Night with Conan O'Brien. (Yes, I know he has not had that show since 2008, but if I DID find myself up that late.) I never really watched Jay Leno. I do remember catching his first night and I have vivid memories of his one year anniversary show but that was a long time ago. Other than those two nights, I haven't watched.

Jay just "didn't do it for me". He has a smugness that is only amplified by his well known garage. But, really, who cares. It is late night television and that format hasn't changed since it started. I do think Leno is a decent guy and he has a lot of talent - but I prefer Conan O'Brien. I think his comedy style is far closer to my own taste and I believe he takes more risks that pay off. Jay Leno just isn't funny any more. He became stale somehow. He became a product.

I think this whole situation has received far too much coverage. It is a business dispute and, for whatever reason, NBC felt Conan was not working for their ratings. Of course, if Jay is as popular as they think he is, his audience would have followe. But what do I know, I am not much of a watcher of television that isn't on DVD these days. The Conan/Jay is just some silly situation that has produced a lot of content both over the airwaves and online (hey, look at me, I am adding to it!) and it makes absolutely no sense. For the record, this is what Conan had to say:

Then I started thinking. When did I last enjoy late night television? Have I fallen off some virtual wagon I am supposed to be on? Did I stop watching because I was getting older and felt I had some weird responsibility to get to bed early? I don't think so. What I do know is that I have cried thinking about the departure of Johnny Carson from The Tonight Show. Has it really been that long since I was dedicated to watching the late night programs? I suppose so. I thought I would look it up and this is what I found. My heart broke all over again.

Sorry, Conan, sounds like you were good but no one has touched Carson - yet. Maybe it is time for one of those risk taking situations where the host kills the format and makes something entirely new that everyone likes.

Before The End of January

administrator — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 06:03:55 +0000

I don't know quite what to say. I am - again - having one of those moments where I stare at the computer screen and wonder what it is I am suppose to be writing. I guess I am just one of those bloggers who struggles with what to write on some soft of semi-regular basis. I think it is a personal thing that can never truly be explained in a public forum. In fact, it is so personal, you can't find any level of confience that will let you release your inner fears. I think the most interesting things I could tell you about is who I am in love with, who I want to beat to a pulp and who I would love to slander on the Internet. Sadly, I won't be posting that information here. I am a nice guy, after all. All of the things you would like to know about me will remain safely behind the bars of my inner soul - or some such barrier I have yet to articulate in a fashion that makes sense.

In the meantime, here is a trailer I am quite sad to say exists:

No one appears to remember that the world was better with Ralph:

I have had an interesting week, however. It was quite fast but still had time to meet up with long lost people and still be productive. Jacket on, jacket off.

Hello, 2010, How Are You Today?

Shane Birley — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 01:34:52 +0000

The first couple of days 2010 have come and almost gone, so, I thought it would be fitting to comment on my new resolutions.

Oh, wait, I didn't make any. I suppose that means I have been sticking to them quite well. How have you been doing with your resolutions? I was wondering where resolutions came from. I did a quick search and this is what I could find:

A New Years Resolution is often a lifestyle change that is generally interpreted as advantageous. The name comes from the fact that these commitments normally go into effect from New Year's Day. Some examples include resolutions to donate to the poor more often, to become more assertive, or to become more environmentally responsible.

I think that about covers is. Thoughts about your resolutions for 2010? Are "new decade" resolutions more important? I think they may be since it is clean slate for everyone.

Happy New Year and I Am Sorry To See You Go 2009

Shane Birley — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 16:36:28 +0000

This past year has been great. The year of 2009 was filled with ups and downs and all kinds of twists and turns. But now, we are down to it. The final hours are ticking away and, when we all wake up tomorrow morning, it will be 2010. Are you excited?

For us Vancouverites, it will be a bittersweet opening few months with the stress and jubulation that surrounds any city hosting the Olympics. We love it and hate it all at the same time. It is like the holidays. When you first start shopping, all you can think of is the smiling faces of your family and friends. The perfect gift will be opened and, without warning, their face will light up with joy. They will (practically in slow motion) wrap their arms around you and plop a loving kiss on your cheek and whisper loving things in your ear. Of course, reality will strike with a lightning bolt borrowed from Zeus. Imagine, for a moment, sitting down at your kitchen table, a fresh coffee steaming in the light of a January morning, and you open yor credit card bill. All of the loving thoughts you've been harbouring for months will disappear into the morning air and you will wonder how in the Hell did you manage to spend so much money!

That is what New Years Eve and Day are all about. Two final days that we can use to live out a few additional fantasies. We allow ourselves to forget that, within a few days time, we will be back to whatever activities dominate our "normal" lives. We will be enjoying the sound of the office again or the classrooms of some foreign university or finding the perfect pitch in a remote recording studio. Let's make this last bit of our 2009 something to remember. What are your plans for this eve of the New Year? I remember the last few have been quite tame in their execution. Last year was hanging out and drinking heavily at a friend's place. The transfer into 2008 was something I don't remember. It must have been uber-tame.

For 2009, this year is strange since we decided to fly on the cheapest days of the holiday season: Christmas Day and New Years Eve. Christmas Day wasn't too bad since we arrived earlier in the evening and with plenty of time for gift openings on both ends but this New Years is going to be a little problematic. We arrive after seven in the evening and, with the weather being what it is in the mountains and in Saskatchewan, we will most likely end up being late. I hope not. I believe my family isn't picking us up. They are heading to their New Years events and dropping our car at the airport before we arrive.

And, yes, I think we all need to get together and view the movies 2001 and 2010 to see how much those fictional worlds are like our reality. Didn't someone have a dolphin for a pet? Where is my dolphin? Happy New Year, everyone!

A Year In Review and How 2009 Was Not A Great Blogging Year

Shane Birley — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 17:24:34 +0000

Like so many bloggers before me, here is my look back on 2009. Yes. 2009. Okay. Let's get to it! Any time now. Fine, now type! Toss those thoughts onto the screen, my man. Come on, Shane. Let's do this thing! Boo-yah! Write!

(Chirp. Chirp. Chirp.)

2009 has been an odd year. I have learned much about so many things and I have accomplished many, many things. I have reached goals I thought I would never achieve. I have let myself be who I really am. I have helped others accomplish their goals. Was this reflected in my blog? Not so much. It is a little weird, isn't it? Or am I just giving some lip service to a sense of guilt I have about not writing on my website as I think I should be. I have thoughts and things to give. Links to provide. Pictures to share. I do it all.

But this website is neglected. If it had feelings, I am sure it would look up at me with sad eyes and whisper quietly: why have you abandoned me? Oh, it breaks the heart. But it is only a website, isn't it? Those who only read blogs may think so. But a blog is different somehow. Not only are you throwing a bit of writing out into the gray mass that is the Interwebs, but you're displaying a little bit of yourself. You are opening yourself to complete strangers (no, not you, Mommy!) and websites like that deserve a little more respect. Not a lot. Just a little. That is, of course, if you write posts like I do.

I will always remember 2009 as being one of the worst blogging years to date. I suppose every year for the last few has been less than stellar in the blogging department. I do recall promising from time to time that I would write more (which I have, just not here) and interact more. I guess I have done that. So, what have I done that I haven't posted about on this website? Let's see:

Started guitar lessons.
Have written several books (unpublished as of yet, still shopping them around) of poetry.
Launched some kick ass websites for clients.
Read a whole lot.

And I bunch of other things that I haven't written about here. What I am trying to say is that I have been doing a whole lot. I just don't understand why I haven't written about them here. I am a blogger, aren't I? Shouldn't I be writing here more often? Am I not a kind of spokesperson?

I shall continue this thought process in my next post. I shall call that next post: Part II.

Books, Publishers, Ownership, Authorship, and Who The Hell Does Own These Things?

Shane Birley — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 16:42:40 +0000

I am a published author and have been for a few years. Since becoming one, I have thought long and hard about the future of books. Most of the time, I think about how I love to have books around me. If you've ever been to my house, I have a lot of books. I wish I had more shelves to stack them on but I have been told my book addiction needs to be kept in check and, apparently, shelves only make my addiction worse. So, then, I stack. The books find an empty space on the floor to inhabit and I continue on my merry way.

And this is the problem. I go on my merry way and ignore one simple fact: books are in danger of disappearing. Not because people will stop writing or publishers will stop publishing but because technology will not be free enough to let today's publishing industry continue. I found this article via Digg.com today and here is a snippet to get your brains on my wavelength:

When I buy an audiobook on CD, it’s mine. The license agreement, such as it is, is “don’t violate copyright law,” and I can rip that CD to mp3, I can load it to my iPod or any number of devises—it’s mine; I can give it away, I can sell it; it’s mine. But when you buy an audiobook through Audible, which now controls 90 per cent of the [downloadable] audiobook market, you get a license agreement, not a property interest. The things that you can do with it are limited by DRM; the players you can play it on are limited by the license agreements with Audible. Audible doesn’t do this because the publishers ask them to. Audible and iTunes, because Audible is the sole supplier to iTunes, do this because it’s in their own interest....

Anyone who claims that readers can’t and won’t and shouldn’t own their books are bent on the destruction of the book, the destruction of publishing, and the destruction of authorship itself. We must stop them from being allowed to do it. The library of tomorrow should be better than the library of today. The ability to loan our books to more than one person at once is a feature, not a bug. We all know this. It’s time we stop pretending that the pirates of copyright are right. These people were readers before they were publishers before they were writers before they worked in the legal department before they were agents before they were salespeople and marketers. We are the people of the book, and we need to start acting like it.

You can read the full transcript of Cory Doctrow's speech here. I shared this elegy about the book with some people (within earshot) and their initial reactions were that:

It would never happen.
People would fight it.
Cory Doctorow is being too sentimental about books.

This got me thinking. Could books disappear? Is Cory being a turd and just trying to make a speech sound interesting? But then I remembered Bolivia and the water protests that happened there in 2000. But, Shane, you're saying. That incident was about water and you're talking about books! Oh, really - I may retort. My point is a bunch of very smart people got together and made it virtually illegal to collect rainwater because a company wanted to make the water system of an entire country private and controlled. Smart people. They let it happen. They wanted it to happen. I could make mention of Germany and World War II but, I think, most people would agree that somewhere along the way something went wrong. And now I can hear you saying: but Shane, that was a situation where millions of people were murdered and you're talking about books! How are these things possibly related? Again, I submit to you: smart people let something horrible happen. No one sat up and said to the person across the table that something was wrong until it was much to late to do anything about it. In any case, books are important. They are as important as our entire civilization. Books revolutionized everything. And now you're thinking that I am being more dramatic than Doctorow and, maybe, I am. But I feel very strongly about the disappearance of books.

Let me tell you why.

There is a technology created for DVDs that allows an individual to purchase (or rent) them. They can take the DVD home, unwrap it, and watch it. 24 or 48 hours later, the DVDs destroy themselves and make themselves unreadable. The user them tosses the DVD away. Firstly, that is a complete waste of materials. Secondly, what is to stop publishers (or some governmental body) from inventing a similar technology for paper? It will happen, mark my words on that. If an entire country can make it illegal for people to collect rainwater, what is to stop them? Imagine, books that erase themselves. It is not outside the realm of possibility. By the way, if you don't think it is possible for things like restricting rainwater collection to happen in more "civilized" country, I suggest you tell that to the state of Colorado.

Again, I return to my point. Sure, Cory Doctorow may be more sentimental about books than you are, but he has reason to. Situations where laws about who controls water rights normally belong in the pages of your favourite fiction book. But, as they appear to say, truth is stranger than fiction. Things we take for granted each and every day are under threat and we should stand up and take notice now before things like water and books are gone forever. When a monumental change like this happens, we may never get it back.

We are in a new economy and, as I am sure you've noticed, most content publishers are struggling to make ends meet. Newspapers, book publishers, and music producers are all thinking up ways to make sure they are rewarded for their efforts. They should be rewarded. Publishers and digital rights management advocates need to embrace the technology as well. They have been fighting, suing, and making merry with courts for a while now and it needs to be re-thought. I don't mind people protecting their work but there comes a time when the work needs to be free to the masses and we need to reinvent how we reward people for the work they create. I am not going to pretend I have the answers but I want people to recognize that this future is coming and, before you know it, you will wonder where all the books have gone. Don't kid yourself. It will happen if we're not watching and doing something about it. It did happen to water and the people of Bolivia were lucky to get it back. We may not be so lucky next time.

This entire rant makes me think of this scene from Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade:

Reminder About Blogging For Dummies The Third Edition

Shane Birley — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 00:07:01 +0000

I just remembered that I haven't made much of a splash about the third edition of Blogging For Dummies. I will start with the publisher's verbage:

The blogging bestseller, now fully updated to reflect the latest tools and techniques
Blogging is forever evolving, and remains essential for anyone who wants a distinctive Web presence. There are many options that surround blogging-on everything from blogging software to hosting services-and this fun and friendly guide gets you started so can begin logging in hours of blogging!
Building on the success of the two previous bestselling editions, this latest revision includes essential blogging basics, the elements required of a good blog, and the tools you'll need to get started. You'll discover how to determine the right blogging software for you, whether you should run your own blog or use a full-service hosting site, and how to set up an account and write your first post.
Builds on the two previous bestselling editions and covers the latest advertising tools to attract an audience, methods for making money with your blog, and ways to measure your blog's success
Includes updates to the major blogging software utilities including Google's Blogger, TypePad, and WordPress
Walks you through the latest search engine optimization techniques for increasing your blog's visibility
Reviews the newest plug-ins and gadgets that will allow you to extend your blog
If you're in a fog about how to blog, then this easy-to-understand guide is the right book for you.

This is something that Susie and I worked on back in the summer and we made quite a few updates. There are a bunch of new chapters and a whole lot of revisions to existing chapters. We added a lot of stuff on social networking and whatnot and I was surprised how I had naturally adapted to newer technologies. Getting it all down on paper was awesome and quite difficult at times to sort out all the details. If you get a chance, why not head on down to your local book seller and get a copy or two.

I also have a shout out to Susie who is, as usual, totally amazing and rocks my world all the time. The book comes out in January 2010.

What Is The Point of December 28th?

Shane Birley — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 23:23:43 +0000

I woke up this morning and realized it was December 28th. December 28th is one of those days I consider to be a day meant for sleeping, watching television or movies, and doing very little. I have held this belief for years. Every year, for as long as I can remember, my energy levels seem to crash on this day. As a result, I have considered this day to be a useless day. Today, this year, I decided to check out what value December 28th may have had in the past. Here is what I found:

Westminster Abbey was consecrated back in 1065.
Toronto's Yonge Street construction begins in 1795.
The Lumiere Brothers perform to their first paying audience marking the birth of the cinema in 1895.
Endangered Species Act is passed in the United States in 1973.

It looks like quite a few important things happened on this day. I mean, really, how often does something as important as the Endangered Species act get passed? How that happened on December 28th, I will never know. Doesn't everyone stop on this day? I thought this was true since everyone I know seems to also stop on this day. So, when I was asked to go cross country skiing, I was stuck. I wanted to rest but, I suppose that due to this knowledge, I decided to take some people up on their offer to go outside and enjoy the sunshine. This left me with one other problem, I hadn't been cross country skiing for at least 25 years. Quite an odd memory to come up with on a day like today.

The last time I went cross country skiing, it was around 1984 on the Cedar Hill Golf Course. I must have been about ten years old then. I went with my friend David and his family and I don't think I was very good at it. My parents weren't much for skiing and I never learned. It wasn't until I was in my mid-twenties when I finally learned (not very well, though). I learned to fall down, anyway. I remember that I was run over with a large inner tube at some point.

There you go. The weird memory of the day. I won't go into much detail since there isn't much to describe about skiing. I put some wood on my feet and moved my feet forward and backward. I did have fun.

CIBC Is Making Me Sad, Again

Shane Birley — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 05:00:33 +0000

I took a little time today and cleaned out the comments queue. I was surprised to find so many CIBC related comments. I posted them all, so, if you are at all interested, head on over there and join in. I haven't spent much time thinking about CIBC since I don't deal with them all that often (we have a business credit card left with CIBC) but, the other day, I logged into the CIBC website and found that one of my accounts wasn't closed as I had requested. Initially, I thought the account was just showing up because of some computer glitch. I called the toll free line and asked if the account had been closed and they confirmed it wasn't. Normally, I wouldn't have thought much of it because it was just a small error. But the gong show that I had to endure to close that account (at least, I thought it had been closed) was too funny not to mention. I didn't blog about it intially because I thought I had said enough about CIBC. But, here we go.

Back in August, I called up and asked the branch how I could close one of my final accounts with them. They said that I should come down to the branch and sign some documents in order to finalize the closure. It sounded very straight forward and I headed on down to the branch a few days later. I walked in and, as instructed by the person on the phone, grabbed the first available financial advisor. The advisor said they would be happy to close the account. We sat down and I provided him the appropriate documentation and identification. He started typing away and then stared at the screen for a few minutes. I sat quietly and waited for him to tell me what I was supposed to do. Another minute or two went by and he said that he needed to get a supervisor to confirm the closure. He disappeared and fetched another person to come and stare at his screen. The original advisor and this new person stared at the screen, typed a few things into the computer and then looked at me to say that they needed to check with yet another person.

I sat and began to laugh quietly. My better half told me to be quiet. I remained silent for a little bit longer.

A third person came in and did almost exactly what the second person did. She typed a few things, muttered a few things to the others, and then said that they would have to bring in someone else.

I started to laugh again but I wouldn't be silenced this time. With all of my experiences with this bank, I had had enough and was not going to be afraid to let them know that I was unimpressed. The scene unfolded again one more time and a fifth person was brought in. After almost forty five minutes, they all left the room.

I was laughing hard now and was making fun of them in a good humoured way. They smiled and continued on with their work but it was obvious that they were frustrated with whatever problem they had run headlong into. To me, closing an account should be easy. But, at CIBC, this appeared not to be the case. At just over the one hour mark, the fifth person came in to the office and said to me that they were embarrased. It turns out that CIBC can't close accounts on Saturday because Saturday is "not a business day".

I replied: "Then why is this branch open?"

She said: "Saturday isn't a business day."

I again said: "Then why are you open today? If you are not in business today, why am I standing here?"

She laughed. I told her that there must be some way to close the account because I didn't want to have to come back. She then disappeared and returned with the original advisor and we arranged that some other guy (this guy being number six on the roster) call me on the Monday and tell me the account was closed. I said that this arrangement was acceptable.

The following Monday, I called up the guy and chatted on the phone for a couple of minutes to confirm that my account was closed. He said it had been done. Boom. A completely stupid way to go about closing an account but, whatever, I had come to expect very little from CIBC at this point and it was merely a source of entertainment for me now. If I wanted a laugh, I should just go to CIBC ask them a very basic question (like how to open an account) and see how long and how many employees it took. (Which, incidently, I did ask this question the other day when I had to go back and yell at the manager of the branch about the lack of a closed account and it took over ten minutes before the teller returned with a brochure and I asked for some details about an account and the teller didn't know anything and said for me to just read the brochure.)

Anyway, back to my original commentary. When I found out that over six months later, my account was still not closed, I went back to the bank and asked the manager why it took six employees of that branch to NOT close an account. I told him that I was pissed and that I felt it was completely idiotic for me to have come to the bank, dealt with five employees directly and then a sixth on the phone to confirm that my account was closed. Then to find out that six months later, it wasn't even closed! And I had to come into the branch again to yell at them when I didn't want to deal with them in the first place. How stupid is that!

I just couldn't not talk about this now that I have ignored it for so long. I mean, come on... six employees to screw up the closing of an account because it was Saturday? And none of them knew this simple tidbit?!

CIBC, not only do you suck, but you can also suck my big sack of sweaty balls. Enough said.

Happy Christmas and Merry New Year

Shane Birley — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 07:59:22 +0000

It is that time of year again and I have decided not to do any resolutions this year. I have come to this conclusion because over the last few years, many of the New Years resolutions I have made rarely get accomplished. I don't know why but that seems to be the "way I roll". Last year, I was able to accomplish a a bunch of my resolutions but many of them were only "half assed" and I was never 100% happy with how they turned out. 2009 seems to be the year where everything has changed.

On a personal level, I took my health much more seriously this year and commited to losing some weight and getting my body into a much better position to start off on some extreme sports or some kind of program where I am getting to do things I never thought I would ever do. So, in June, I was able to settle on an eating program (which is currently being put to the test because of Christmas cheer) and continue with my morning workout routine. This has made my ever so happy. I never really thought I would be able to look at my body in such a way where even I go: "Hey, not looking too bad, my man." I think I want to slap my own ass just like all the sports greats but I have resisted so far. I hear that Sham Wow guy already. Bam! Bam!

Professionally, we've done very well this year at the old day job and I can't be prouder of the group we've got. There have been some ups and downs of course (how could there not be, if everything was even keel I would be suspicious) but we've weathered them as a group and it has made us stronger. 2010 promises to be an awesome year for Left Right Minds and it looks like our careful planning over the last few years has been paying off in spades. Yah, I don't know what that means either.

As for blogging, I am a little shamed since I have fallen off the radar again and again this year. Many starts and stops have come and gone but - wow - talk about slacking. I suppose what happened (at least, for me) is I helped to re-write a bunch of the Blogging for Dummies book and the 3rd edition is coming out in January of 2010. Head on down to your local book shop and pick up another copy. There are some great tidbits about social networking and how you can combine your daily activities into your blog. I suppose I could write about this kind of thing more often but I won't until January. And if you don't pick up a copy soon, it will make me cry like a little girl with a skinned knee. No, really. Go buy one now.

I guess this is me saying that I am not dead and I am still around but I have been hiding a bit due to schedules, being busy, and also making sure I remain sane and get some offline time in here and there. It is one of the most important lessons I have learned and share with every group I talk to about blogging: if you don't like writing or find yourself without enough time to dedicate to it, you may need to rethink your blogging strategy. Participation is the key.

I think I will leave it at that because I need to return to the party. If I don't see you, enjoy the rest of your holidays and I will blog like a mad thing in 2010.

Happy Hallowe'en!

Shane Birley — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 17:37:48 +0000

I wish I could head out and do a little trick or treating. But I am too old. At least, that is what they keep telling me. I don't recall ever getting old and I don't remember my trick and treating rights being revoked! I thought I was like that guy in Lethal Weapon 2 and had some sort of Halloween candy gathering immunity. It makes you want to go out knock over a few kids and sneak away with pillow cases of candy.

But you can't knock over those kids. They carry knives these days to protect themselves against all those people giving away free candy laced with acid and razor blades. Of course, I suppose, if there was acid in the candy they may not care so much about the razor blades.

Anyway, have a great Halloween!

Once More With Happy Bats Cinema and All The Feelings That Go Along With It

Shane Birley — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 20:37:15 +0000

I was mentioning a little while ago that the Once More With Feeling episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer has returned. And, guess what, Hallowe'en is this coming Saturday and you know what that means - if you aren't there, you are totally square and may a vampire sneak into your home and eat your ass off.

Need details? Well, here they are:

Saturday, October 31st, 2009 and
Sunday, November 1st, 2009

The triumphant return of the Buffy Musical screenings - you know, the ones you can SING at, ALONG with everyone else - ONCE MORE, WITH FEELING!!

Pacific Cinematheque 1131 Howe St
DOORS: 12 NOON, SHOW 12:30 PM

You can purchase tickets here!

I also kid you not - they sell out. The two times I have gone tickets were history a few days before, so, don't slack until the day of. If you're going to attend - chop chop - get your tickets now.

Of course, you can also check out the Happy Bats Being There blog for more up to date details should my excitement drag me into the Ninth Level of Hell or something strange like that. Hey, it is Hallowe'en - it could happen.

Happy Goonies Day!

Shane Birley — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 04:07:18 +0000

According to Facebook, today is the actual day the Goonies from the Goondocks had their adventure into the underground of Astoria, Oregon. I just happen to have watched the film (hey, what else do you do when you're sick, you watch movies!) just this past weekend and I never get tired of it.

The film is one of those movies you always remember. It is up there with Indiana Jones, E.T., and a bunch of other films that I love.

I hear there may be a sequel brewing but, somehow, I doubt it. Do we really need another adventure with them? Don't get me wrong, I would love one to be made, but I also have that feeling that the magic would just die on the vine. Perhaps not.

Well done, Goonies, and I hope to get to the 25th anniversary in June of 2010. Never say die!

Carrie Fisher Wants You to Stay Home (if you suffer from Ebola, Black Plague, or Leprosy)

administrator — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 22:04:14 +0000

My sister told me yesterday about Carrie Fisher's one-woman play, Wishful Drinking. I thought: "Hey, cool, she is on stage and doing some incredibly cool." What I didn't expect was this video that promotes the performance:

Absolutely hilarious. It proves to me that Fisher is a class act and is a nerd. Don't ask why, just go see the show. Sadly, I may not get to go as I don't have any plans (at this moment) to head on over to Broadway.

Watch Dollhouse Or I'll Come To Your House and Wipe You

Shane Birley — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 22:40:37 +0000

Okay, people. What the hell have you been doing with your Friday nights? Actually, I don't care. What you should be doing is watching Dollhouse. What you should do then is go out and buy a copy of Dollhouse on DVD. As a matter of fact, you should head to your local retailer now. Don't wait. Just go. Right the hell now! There is also the online shopping option. Go there and get two copies!

Not sure what Dollhouse is? Well, have you bought your copy yet? Dollhouse started back in February 2009, and I admit that I didn't have much hope for it. I am a hard core Joss Whedon fan but I have been kicked in the gut a few too many times to rush out and watch an awesome show just to have it canceled and yanked before its time.

So, this time, I waited. I heard a few bad things, and waited some more before checking it out. Finally, I couldn't take it any more and decided that I needed to watch it. The first few episodes were okay and I always give a pass to shows in their first season. Then, all of a sudden, BANG. About five or six episodes in, WHAM. The story kicks in, the feet are more solid on the ground and I was rockin' this show like there was no tomorrow.

Don't let this show become another Firefly. Let's show these television executive types that we like to watch this show. Don't let this happen to this show!

This show is good and I don't watch that other bullshit known as "reality television". So, don't cancel something of quality and replace it with garbage.

Happy Bats Cinema Hosts Once More, With Feeling in Vancouver

Shane Birley — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 17:10:52 +0000

Looks like Buffy The Vampire Slayer's season six episode Once More, With Feeling is hitting the screen in Vancouver - just in time for Hallowe'en! I can't believe it but it looks like there hasn't been an event like this since 2007? Is that right?

Our friends over at Happy Bats Cinema are hosting the event at the Pacific Cinematheque this October 31st and November 1st, 2009. Both shows are at noon and will feature all kinds hilarity. I got my tickets already. Have you?

Yes, I am a Joss Whedon nerd and quite proud of it. You can check out some of my nerdy pics from the last sing along.

Blogathon 2009: What Am I Doing Up In Whistler?

Shane Birley — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 05:09:05 +0000

A little while back, Allyson was bouncing around on Red Flag Deals and found a deal for cheap rooms at the Fairmont here in Whistler. It was quite the find and I wish we'd signed up for a few more weekends up here because I have been having a blast. I didn't realize that a few days in a place (sans pugs) would be such a treat. I suppose I have been locked up in that "world" of work and more work. Anyone who knows me knows that I am addicted to making sure everyone is happy and there aren't any stones left uncleaned (before being turned over).

This, of course, means we haven't had a holiday since 2003. I have heard this is a bad thing and I can't believe I haven't had more than a few days here and there to relax and not decide to kill. I am going to get back to that relaxing and will add a few more thoughts as the day goes on.

Blogathon Photos

Shane Birley — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 06:52:11 +0000

One thing I plan on doing is posting photos while I am up here in Whistler. You can find them on my photo blog on my Flickr steam at www.Flickr.com/photos/shanesworld.

UPDATE: Yes, I know, where the hell have I been and what the hell have you been doing talking about posting photos and then not following through? Good god, man! Get with the photos!

It has been well over a month since I tinkered around here, but that doesn't mean I haven't been active on the web. Without further whining and complaining, here are some of those photos I was promising.

A Little Help From My Fiends

Shane Birley — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 05:09:52 +0000

Ack! There is no excuse. I haven't been blogging at all these past few weeks and months. I am not entirely sure why. I suppose I have fallen into that trap so many other bloggers find themselves. Periods of self-loathing take over and beliefs are inserted that tell our internal critics that anything they create is either no good or is simply garbage. There is never a silver lining in any of these situations. Nothing is ever any good. Some go so far as deciding they are themselves no good. I could be only speaking of myself but I have a hunch that there are many of you out there going through what I am going through - blocked blog syndrome. In truth, such thoughts are rubbish. Here I am in the trenches, one who has "proven" himself by being involved in the creation of a manual that helps people start this bizarre career of "blogging". Yet, I find myself lost in a cavern of creativity. I have written hundreds of blog posts all over the Internet and I can't seem to get one finished for my own website. How cruel is that? I guess there is some comfort I can offer. It is a well known fact that writers of all levels will star blankly at a page (either on a computer screen or a piece of paper) for days before putting down a single word. They can get blocked up just like the average blogger. It is a natural part of being a writer. (Sorry, what was that?) I am here to tell all of you that the act of blogging is an art. Plain and simple. Your ability to write is what makes blogging possible. So, how do you break the blockage? By doing something I haven't done in a while. You sit down, look at the screen with a little bit of defiance and you start typing or you start writing away from the computer. Write by hand (yes, you can do that!) and then type in your thoughts later. And, please, don't feel bad in the slightest if you don't have anything to say. You can always follow a standard blogging formula and write a list of some kind. Fill out a meme about yourself. Offer advice (as I am right now) and keep that chin up. I have been reading also a disturbing theory running around the Internet that is claiming that the days of blogging are over. I hear them say: "Who blogs anymore? It is all about micro-blogging now." Horse hockey! As cool as micro-blogging is, it isn't the full kind of writitng that people enjoy the most. Sure, you can "tweet" a story out but the act of writing can't be touched by these technologies. Don't feel "afraid" or "less of a writer" if you are told that blogs are "not where it is at". I don't subscribe to such theories. Blogging is writing! To claim that the days of writing are over is such nonsense. Maybe we're in a collective slump but blogging or writing is not a dead art and I would guess that it is here for some time. You can change the technologies and the format but you can't change the truth. Human beings love stories. We love writing. Micro-blogging may be here for a while or it may be a flash in the pan. Who cares. Writing doesn't change. We change and get lost once in a while but we always come back to what we love. There you have it. A blog post. How about that? No preparation and no cause for celebration. I just sat down to do a bit of research and look at what I created. It isn't Shakespeare but I think I can use it.

For Earth Day, What More Can We Say?

Shane Birley — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 04:51:55 +0000

A number of months ago, I experienced a very low point in my life. I don't think I had ever experienced something quite like it before and I was glad for it to be over.

I gave up.

I didn't give up on my life. I gave up on the world's life. I gave up on you, gentle reader, and I hope you can find the wisdom to forgive me. I was weak and unable to cope for several hours.

I do offer some context. What started me down this path of utter dispair in regards to the current status of the world was I had read too many articles about how the world and how it is going to "Hell In An X-Wing Fighter" and I decided that it was time for me to just wash my hands of the world. I didn't mean it.

I do remember having a brief conversation with myself.

"That's it! We'll never learn. It won't matter anyway. The world will just buck us off the sadle when it feels like it. The universe will unfold as it should and if that means we're not part of that then so be it."

That night, the universe fought back and kicked me in the ass. It was one of those nights where you catch yourself reading or watching something that you wouldn't normally do. You may even pause to ask yourself why you're doing it. This particular evening, I found myself watching The Hour and who should appear but David Suzuki.

The interview was typical of that show. There was gentle conversation about what Mr. Suzuki was doing and, of course, there was talk about the environment. I was feeling quite self justified that Suzuki was telling stories about how he had been drinking out of a plastic cup and some onlooker said that he shouldn't be considering who he was and what he stood for.

Ha! I thought. You jerk! You drink from bottled water too! You dime store hood! It was then that a question was asked about what people should do if they are feeling tremendous apathy about the universe and the world. I was expecting some kind of: "Come join us. You can help heal the world."

Nope.

Suzuki became very serious and said: "Go be that way. Do what you need to do but get the hell out of my way. I am not perfect but I am doing my part. If you don't want to help, then stand aside and let me by."

Thank the world for David Suzuki. If it were not for him, I would proably be still feeling the way I did all those months ago. Have a great Earth Day and, Mr. Suzuki, I am sorry. I am doing my part too.