This thread in the Houston Craigslist Food Forum nearly made me wet myself today:

Do you peel/carve the wax off of the brie before baking? I’ve looked at several recipes and there is no mention of removing the wax. I know the wax is edible but I am making this for a party of 60 and don’t want the wax noticeable.

Before when we’ve made Phyllo Wrapped Brie with Caramelized Onions, Apricot Jam, and Candied Walnuts we removed the wax because of the “ick factor” associated with leaving it on but the wrappped brie tended to flatten out like a pancake when baking instead of keeping it’s perky round shape. This could be fault of the recipe or maybe the wax holds its shape?

The rind is made up of cheese and is perfectly edible and considered by the French an integral part of eating a triple cream cheese such as Camembert or Brie. If you cut the rind out, you’ll end up with a pool of salty fat.

Google “brie en croute” recipes.

I like to leave champagne open out in the sun so those pesky bubbles go away and I like to run my caviar through a strainer so I don’t have to eat the weird skin and I can just catch the juices. I really especially hate the crust on baguette bread so I dig out the white fluffly stuff using a backscratcher.

Hello? 1983 called, they want their recipe back

***

Who knew Craigslisters were such foodies?

I decided to do this one Houstonist-style, along with a fancy-schmancy slideshow of pictures that WordPress won’t allow me to use (no Java-script allowed…):

Raia’s Italian Market

Enjoy!

Lisa Gray has a wonderful story today in the Chronicle on Luby’s and general Houston nostalgia:

Remembrance of Luby’s Past

If you’re a native Houstonian, you ate at Luby’s as a kid.  Most of us ate there after church on Sundays, after a recital at school, before seeing a movie at the four-plex cinema down the road or just as a special treat to get out of the house.

I loved, l-o-v-e-d, loved Luby’s when I was little.  Their macaroni and cheese and fried okra were the end all and be all of fine cuisine as far as I was concerned.  And, as Lisa points out, their green Jell-O was a favorite dessert:

But the Jell-O remains, in all its jiggly splendor. At the beginning of the serving line, just after you’ve collected your tray, you face opaque lime-green squares, consorting unrepentantly with leafier, more virtuous salads.

Looking at that Jell-O, you know exactly where you are.

Even to this day, when I’m sick or feeling down, I ask for those three items from Luby’s: mac and cheese, fried okra and green Jell-O.  Just ask my poor husband, who makes the trek out to their To-Go window.

There’s something massively comforting about Luby’s.  I don’t know if it’s the consistency of the food and the decor in their cavernous dining rooms, the sweet memories of childhood or the fact that you’re usually surrounded by cute little old ladies who look like your grandma, but Luby’s will never get old for me.  And I will never get too old for Luby’s.

After all, you have to love a restaurant which has lent the name of its most popular dish to a character on that pinnacle and paradigm of Texas culture: King of the Hill.

From Found in Mom’s Basement:

Aside from the general absurdity of the ad, check out where the “Rice Council of America” is located!  For those of you not interested in peering at the fine print, it’s Box 22802, Houston, Texas 77027.  Sweet.

Houston: Crazy Rice Pioneers of the 1960s.

…I wonder if they still distribute that intriguing-sounding “Rice Ideas Men Like” pamphlet…

It’s about that time of the month again.  No, not THAT time of the month.  The other, more enjoyable time: the routine assessment of Google search terms!

This time, I want you guys to tell me what in the Sam Hill these people were doing when they Googled the following search terms.  Keep it funny.

signs of keep me clean in the kitchen

spicy lamb curry gets heart’s pounding

what does vivanno mean in slang italian

guinea pig not just for breakfast

homo milk

obama i am feeling lucky

trivia of holandaise

nobody likes me everybody hates onions

And a special bonus this time around!  See if you can guess which of these three highly-disturbing search terms was the most popular term of the month (all three were searched well over 100 times):

cat cora fhm

rachael ray maxim

rachael ray naked

Aaaaaaand…go!

I can’t decide which is funnier: some of the ludicrous suggestions made for eating “smart when dining out” in this Reader’s Digest article:

Above all else, be assertive. Dining out is no time to be a meek consumer, notes Michael F. Jacobson, Ph.D., executive director of the Center for Science in the Public Interest (CSPI) and coauthor of the book Restaurant Confidential. “You need to be an assertive consumer by asking for changes on the menu,” he says. For instance, if an item is fried, ask for it grilled. If it comes with french fries, ask for a side of veggies instead. Ask for a smaller portion of the meat and a larger portion of the salad; for salad instead of coleslaw; baked potato instead of fried. “Just assume you can have the food prepared the way you want it,” says Dr. Jacobson. “Very often, the restaurant will cooperate.” Below, you’ll find more specific requests.

Try double appetizers. If there is a nice selection of seafood- and vegetable-based appetizers, consider skipping the entrée and having two appetizers for your meal. Often, that is more than enough food to fill you up.

Ask your waiter to “triple the vegetables, please.” Often a side of vegetables in a restaurant is really like garnish — a carrot and a forkful of squash. When ordering, ask for three or four times the normal serving of veggies, and offer to pay extra. “I’ve never been charged,” says dietitian Jeff Novick, R.D., director of nutrition at the Pritikin Longevity Center & Spa in Aventura, Florida. “And I’ve never been disappointed. I get full, not fat.”

Or the comments section on the article at Consumerist:

Not a great idea–most midrange restaurants, and chains, are not equipped for such customization. All you’ll do is annoy the kitchen.  And I don’t want to eat food prepared by annoyed people…

yea i was thinking this person must love eating spit

What afrix and Skankingmike said. The number one rule for healthy restaurant dining is “Don’t piss off the staff.” This guy’s first order of business seems to be to violate that rule.

assertive vs. polite maybe, but he said assertive. After working in the service industry assertive usually means being a dick.

How arrogant to go in and to assume you can change everything that is offered. Unless you have a food allergy there is no reason to do this. (and even then, you should explain why you need something left out of your dish. ) Order whats offered or find a place that suits your diet.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO EAT EVERYTHING that’s on your plate. Who knew???

I just order stuff on the menu that looks good to me and that I want to eat. If there is something on the plate I don’t like then I don’t eat it. But then I grew up in a house where I was told that I could make myself a sandwich if I didn’t like what the family was eating.

Those of you who know me know how I am at restaurants…I eat what’s offered, never ask for substitutions and have never sent anything back in my life.  But I’ve also worked in the service industry and have many friends who currently work in the industry.  It ain’t easy, so why make the meal difficult for both of you?  Just relax and enjoy your meal is my philosophy, at least.

However, when I see a server being either lazy or incompetent for no good reason, that’s when the claws come out; if you aren’t in the weeds and we’re your only table for days, fill my damned iced tea and take my order within at least the first fifteen minutes of us being seated or prepare yourself for a shoddy 10% tip.

What do you think, readers?  Are you “assertive” at restaurants?  Does it net you good service (that you’re aware of, at least?)?  Or do you follow the “eat what’s on your plate or find a healthy restaurant” approach?  Is my 10% tip for crappy service policy too draconian or too lax?

Another Wednesday morning, caught in some dreadful cubicle somewhere, the day itself most likely fraught with rain and dreary skies if you’re here in Houston.  What better excuse for a food poem to cheer the soul?  And a food poem that celebrates rainy skies, at that?

Today’s poem comes from another modern poet who is still with us, Marie Ponsot.  Born and raised in New York City as the daughter of a wine merchant, she began writing poetry as a very young child and never stopped.  Like last week’s poet, she also studied and lived in France after World War Two.  She is also the author of two wonderful books on writing, Beat Not the Poor Desk and The Common Sense (not to be confused with Payne’s seminal work, of course).

Although she is 87 years old, she still teaches poetry and creative writing at the 92nd Street YMCA, should any you New Yorkers be interested in learning from a legend.

All Wet

If you’re practicing a vegetarian or vegan lifestyle, why the hell would you go eat at a KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) and then expect them to have vegan-friendly items on their menu?

KFC’s Vegetarian Sandwich Isn’t

Yeah, no kidding.  Imagine that.

Hell, I’m an omnivore and even I don’t eat at KFC.  That place is nasty, y’all, fo realz.  Feel free to dispute me in the comments section, but ain’t nuthin gonna change my mind.

Last week’s trivia session was too much fun.  Y’all had some wonderful answers, and I was psyched to hear from some of the lurkers.  Welcome, lurkers!!!

Some of my favorite responses from last Tuesday included:

• “uni. while at rickshaw i tried it for the first time. its texture was like butter, but tasted like ear wax. never wanted to try it again! a month ago or so i was out with jj. tried it and i loved it!” — Plinio, in response to “Has there ever been a food of which you were initially suspicious, but then surprised to find that you enjoy?“  Yeesh.  I’m surprised he went back for more after that.
• “Ice cream, dipped in Belgian chocolate, rolled in toasted oats, dipped in more chocolate, rolled in grated sponge cake and finally deep-fried!” — The Grumpy Chef, in response to “If you were in charge of carny food at the circus, which food item would you put onto a stick?“  Sounds like HEAVEN.  Also: “3 or 4 beef testicles ( I would call it “stick of meat balls)” — anonymous eater.
• “Overrated? See Tilman Ferttita. Underrated? Kasra, Tio Pepe, Pico’s.” — Amazon101, in response to “What do you think is the most overrated and/or underrated restaurant in Houston?“  Amen.
• “Red Velvet Cake because my mother made this for me every birthday and Liver and Onions….my Mom made the BEST!” — Jo, in response to “What food reminds you most strongly of your childhood and why?“  Red velvet cake is also a childhood favorite of mine; MY mom made the best. 
• “Definitely brussel sprouts. Love them today, but in 1974, I believe there was no word for ’sauteed in olive oil with pepper’…” — Sid, in response to “What food(s) did you hate as a child but have come to appreciate or even love as an adult?”

What did you guys think?  Should we have another round?  I think we should. 

Today’s Questions:

1. To impress a date, what would you cook and serve?  Alternately, what have you cooked and served that impressed a date/your significant other/some foodie floozy?
2. Assuming that your intake of any missing nutrients would be compensated for, which would you choose to part with for the rest of your life if someone told you that you could no longer have EITHER fruits OR vegetables?
3. What food(s) have you erroneously assumed would be delicious, only to be massively disappointed?
4. With what condiments do you dress up your hot dogs?  Are there any condiments that send you into an irrational, blinding rage if they touch your beloved frankfurter?
5. If you could choose one unhealthy food to magically (or scientifically, if that’s your bag) transform into a health food, thereby enabling you to eat it every day with no ill effects, which would you choose?

Can’t wait for your answers, readers! 

It’s finally here, folks!  Houston’s first ever Flavor Tripping party, organized by none other than the amazing Jenny, of I’m Never Full (and head hound of the Houston Chowhounds chapter).

Jenny has ordered a batch of those miraculous miracle berries and reserved the upstairs dining room at La Strada for this rare event and it’s not too late for you to come and join us as we trip the light fantastic, foodie-style.  We’ll be there this Friday evening (July 25th), starting at 5:30pm with the actual tasting beginning at 6:00pm.  Here’s what’s in store for the party:

• A stock of miracle berries, one per person, which will chemically alter your taste buds for at least one hour and change the way that all foods and beverages taste.
• Our own bartender with cash bar and happy hour prices, including a special $5 cocktail created specifically by La Strada for the event.
• The entire second floor of the restaurant all to ourselves.
• And a huge spread of food including fresh citrus, other fruits, veggies, various stinky cheeses, salt & vinegar potato chips, pickles and bologna sandwiches — all of which have been chosen specifically for their strange interactions with the miracle berries.

All of this, including the food, is only $15!

To reserve your spot (or for more information about the Flavor Tripping party), be sure to visit Jenny’s website and RSVP today.  You can also email her for more information: berryfairyhouston (at) gmail (dot) com.

I hope to see some of your bright, shiny faces there!  And if you can’t make it, don’t despair; I’ll be back with a detailed report and pictures (of course!) next week.