I had planned this before the horrific events of last week at Ft. Hood and I hope that everyone will stop and say a prayer for every Soldier and Veteran who sacrifice so much for all of us.

Photo courtesy of vox_efx/

Today, I thought I would share a little more about about our darling twin daughters and the process they went through in deciding to join the Army National Guard.

After a family meeting at our home with several members of the Georgia Army National Guard they learned their next step was to answer a series of questions on the National Guard website.

I feel like now that they are 18 and out of high school I can reveal more of the fun we had when they were minor children under my daily care.

Side note: This may qualify as PG-13 in case any minors are reading.

They both sat at computers and Roger Leroy began shouting questions to me while I was in another room.

This was the real conversation as the darling twins answered questions for enlistment and scholarships (you probably already know I typed it for posterity last February knowing it would some day find its way on the blog)…

RL: Do I have gonorrhea?

Me: Do you?

RL: Have I ever had a testicle removed?

Me: Just say yes, right at birth but you don’t remember.

Next I hear Wizzy whispering to Roger Leroy…

Wizzy: What are dependents? Do I have any?

RL: I need an administrator at school for a recommendation for this scholarship. Who should I ask Mom?

Me: Oh I know, why don’t you ask the assistant principal who gave you your IN SCHOOL SUSPENSION last year. Be sure to tell him you’re turning over a new leaf.

Yes, it’s true. They are both going to work in Human Intel. Everyone remain calm. I know they will keep us all safe.

I think you can now clearly see what is wrong with ME.

Hope this made you smile – we could all use a little more humor these days.

Tune in tomorrow for Roger Leroy’s experience in the Gas Chamber…

I have issues
Parenting wears me out
Parenting teenagers has still not driven me to drink

And if I ever do decide to take up drinking, you would also know that I would never drink and drive.

I actually made that life decision long before I became a drunk driving statistic and a severe head injury survivor.

The irony of me being the designated driver for friends who drank in high school and college and then me being hit by a drunk driver doesn’t escape me.

I vividly remember that Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) campaign at the time of our crash was “Don’t call me lucky” which is a slogan I have worn out over the years. Being hit head-on by a drunk driver, living through it and having your life turned upside down is not lucky.

Don’t get me wrong – I am blessed and grateful for my recovery and I have a good life.

It has always seemed incredibly selfish to me to put other people’s lives at risk because of your bad choices. (Not to mention putting your own life at risk.)

MADD has a new campaign that I am happy to tell you about because I do believe that the “Power of Parents” is worth blogging about. If you have teenagers, the message of choices and of making the choice and commitment to not drink and drive is worth talking about.

Take their quiz or watch their video to help you get started with this important season of parenting.

The Power of Parents campaign with the tagline “It’s your influence” is an important reminder for all of us to remember we can really make a difference with our teenagers. It is our job to do our best to influence them to make good decisions.

I am a nut about driving safety as I’ve shared here before and this is certainly part of that whole process.

Remember…

I am that parent.

I hope you will be that parent too.

Full disclaimer: I wrote this review while participating in a blog campaign by Mom Central on behalf of MADD. A donation was made to MADD in my name to thank me for taking the time to participate.

Just so you know…the donation is lovely but I would have written this without it.

Have a fabulous and safe weekend!

Last night’s double elimination was a little lackluster.

No real shockers that Michael Irvin and Iron Chef guy. (What’s his name? Wait, I’ll look it up. Mark Dacascos. Thanks Google.)

They were both gracious but I was confused by Michael Irvin’s exit interview. What did this show and voting have to do with the economy? I made PhilBilPaul watch and we both were puzzled by that reference.

The good news is that they are thinning the herd more quickly by getting rid of two each week.

The highlight for me was…

Team Tango!

It was fun to watch and come on – those are the final three couples right there so let’s just get on with it!

I watched their group dance three times and still didn’t see “The Lift” Carrie Ann spanked them for…guess that’s why I’m not a judge.

The lowlight for me was the Mark and Derek song. I’m not sorry to report I didn’t rush to iTunes and purchase that song. I think they should stick with dancing but maybe it’s just because I’m not a big fan of techno pop/rap/whatever kind of music that was.

Of course that’s just my opinion.

What’s yours?

My Monday post is on Monday.

Halloween was a 3 day affair if you don’t count the party Scary Baby went to two weeks earlier. Who knew that one picture I snapped that evening would be her best Halloween picture?

On Thursday, the darling twins went to a dance at their college and emailed me their winning costume. See if you can guess what they were from the dark, blurry pictures they emailed me…

Their creative friend Jordan came up with the idea for five of them to go as…

Interlocking Tetris pieces

Tetris is a computer game for those who are still scratching their heads.

They won first prize. So glad they are carrying on the family tradition of award-winning Halloween costumes!

On Friday, Scary Baby went to party #2. She opted for a hobo look complete with self-drawn magic marker beard (washable marker she informed me quickly when I saw her face).

She needed to take a dish to pass – not dessert {gasp}. She picked mummy dogs and cheesy fingers. These were big hits at the party – file this for next year if you need ideas for easy and amusing Halloween party food.

Crescent roll dough makes everything better. Wrapping hot dogs in the dough and cutting string cheese in half was grueling work but someone had to do it.

On Saturday, Scary Baby went for the full blown scary vampire-like costume.

Newsflash: She did have a cape but we didn’t get a picture of the whole outfit. Why? Because when you tell ask your very literal husband to take a picture of his darling daughter on the porch…he takes a picture of her on the porch. As in ONE picture. Nice.

The poor 4th child has so few photos compared to the first three–I hear it’s a natural consequence of birth order.

Sunday, we had a delicious crockpot of chili compliments of Chef PhilBillPaul and I whipped up a very labor intensive dessert.

Okay, so maybe slicing an apple into 8 pieces, wrapping in crescent roll dough, pouring melted butter, sugar and vanilla followed by pouring a can of Mountain Dew® (hello Ann – are you reading this?) all over it and sprinkling with cinnamon took all of 5 minutes but oh baby, were these ever good.

The picture is unbaked but they look pretty much the same baked. Scary Baby said they look like chicken. We all agreed they did not taste like chicken! Find this crazy delicious Apple Dumplings recipe at Pioneer Woman.

And here’s the candy she didn’t want…

So relieved to see that someone was thoughtful enough to give out those 1/2 ounce bags of healthy pretzels to offset all the candy. Whew.

She can’t be related to us but we did say thank you.

Happy November! How was your Halloween weekend?

The wig, mask and hat really set it off. His inspiration is from one of his favorite movies. I’ve never seen it – I don’t ask.

He’s still not done building this masterpiece and we’re not sure where he thinks he’s going in it but his girlfriend has said she is not going anywhere in public with him.

We made him add Scary Baby’s cape. Not sure if this is an improvement but anything he can add to cover up that darn suit is okay by us.

So I guess he’s just going to have to be content wearing it around our house and making us all scream.

Happy Halloween! Hope everyone has a fun and safe weekend!!

Probably not a good move the night before double elimination.

Thank goodness for Tivo so I could rewind to watch.

He pretty much threw her down on her butt.

Ouch.

I really think they should do a better pairing of dance partners. If they are going to sign an Oompa then they need to find an even smaller Oompa girl professional dance teacher for him.

His adorable partner Chelsie is not a big girl but I think he’s at a disadvantage – maybe if he had a tiny Oompa partner to toss around?

Hey, wait. Were there even any female Oompa Loompas? I can’t remember.

Did anyone see the punching bags with the headshots taped on them that Michael Irvin used in his rehearsal for the group dance?

He made the Oompa’s a tiny red one. That made me laugh out loud.

So on double elimination night, Oompa didn’t make it through the dance-off. Shocking but true. I can hardly believe it and I know Wizzy will be bummed that Sabrina the Teenage Witch was eliminated too.

Even showinghis guns one more time didn’t help.

On his last 30 second dance-off, he had to whip off his blazer.

They are still Oompa-sized guns. He’s just a compact guy.

Farewell Little Oompa…

Photo from ABC DWTS

Whatever.

That is one of my new favorite words. Especially since living in the land of the teens.

Then I read this article a few weeks ago and find out that it’s very annoying.

The popular slacker term of indifference was found “most annoying in conversation” by 47 percent of Americans surveyed in a Marist College poll released Wednesday.

Oops. Here we go again being uncool AND annoying. Always a day late and dollar short. Yep, that’s us.

I’m telling you at least once a day, sometimes more often, I get a text message from one of the lovely teens with one word.

Whatever.

They are precious, aren’t they? It always makes me laugh a little. I never really found it annoying. In fact, I find in useful to dish it right back to them on numerous occasions.

“Whatever” easily beat out “you know,” which especially grated a quarter of respondents. The other annoying contenders were “anyway” (at 7 percent), “it is what it is” (11 percent) and “at the end of the day” (2 percent).

I think they left off the most seriously annoying word on their survey. See if you can guess what it is.

Here’s my like take on this like annoying word because like I know annoying like anybody’s business so like I just want to like tell you that I like think there is a much more annoying like word than like whatever.

Did I mention like that I like was a substitute teacher like for the last two years at like one of the biggest high schools like in the country?

Yeah, maybe like I didn’t mention that like on this blog. Because I was sort of like afraid that they might like find out I like have a blog.

Like I am an expert on what is annoying.

And it’s not like…

Whatever.

If we’re going with an annoying phrase vs. a single word which it seems the survey did not distinguish between, my personal fav is…

“Let me be honest”

Always makes me raise my eyebrow and wonder how often the person speaking is dishonest.

Hmmm, food for thought. I love words.

What’s your favorite overused annoying word?

First, I have to confess that I am addicted to Dancing With The Stars and like to watch both episodes on Tuesday so I can see who gets voted off.

If you don’t watch it, this post will mean absolutely nothing to you so go ahead and click off now.

PhilBillPaul has no interest in this show. I have to review the good, the bad and the ugly with my mom or my friend Toni in North Carolina.

Last week I couldn’t stop myself. I had to send Toni a text about a contestant who I really don’t know much about.

Nothing against him or snowboarding but who’s with me on this one?

Louie’s resemblance to an…

Oompa Loompa

disturbs me a bit every time he dances.

Toni agreed and text back “Member of the Lollipop Guild”

I knew she would get it.

Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory is one of my favorite movies of all time.

Every time he starts dancing, I start humming…

Oompa Loompa doompety doo
I’ve got a perfect puzzle for you
Oompa Loompa doompety dee
If you are wise you’ll listen to me

Side note: I’m rooting for Donny Osmond because I appreciate a white man from my generation being able to dance.

And in full disclosure I loved, loved, loved the Michael Jackson tribute last night because we wore his albums out back in the day when he was a young black man.

These are just my personal opinions and of course, I’d love to hear yours if you are a fan of the show.

Which I’ve always thought should be called “Dancing With The Stars Who Are Sometimes Not Stars or Have Never Been Stars.”

Next week tell me if you start singing “Oompa Loompa” when Little Louie (whom I’m sure does not want to be called Little Louie or Oompa Loompa or Oompa Louie or Oompa but I can’t stop myself) starts dancing.

Photos from here and here. Lyrics from here.

I wish I had some amazing story to tell you but most of those are already written and can be picked up on CNN and other online news sources.

Like the balloon boy hoax.

Don’t get me started on that one.

And since I did tell you all about that car in the sinkhole, I feel compelled to tell you that the driver was arrested on Monday. Seems he did it on purpose.

Really makes my weekend activities pale in comparison. I’m glad to say no one was arrested at my house. Knock wood.

We got Scary Baby off to a pre-Halloween birthday sleepover on Friday night dressed, most appropriately, to match her code name.

Her frightful costume created plenty of screaming and yelling. Though I don’t think it was suppose to come from me as she had a meltdown about which vampire teeth she was going to wear, her black boots were at the neighbor’s and a spider earring disappeared as she walked out the door.

I love Halloween fun to start two weeks before Halloween so by the time we get to the real Halloween, mommy has turned into a very scary witch.

Side note: I know several family members who shall remain nameless can relate to this. The rest of you continue with your sweet Halloween fun.

I think I popped the xanax right after she left because I was aware that I was exhibiting very witch-like behavior sans the costume.

The darling twins came home Friday {again} with only one extra Soldier as it was their drill weekend. An added bonus was that The Grunter did not have to work so it was our first Friday in several years we had the three lovely young adults big kids without Scary Baby.

We took them all to dinner and then went bowling. I’ll save the bowling throwdown story for another day. Suffice to say that we had some bowling etiquette issues with the eight teenagers next to us ending with one of the teenagers being kicked out and the management giving us 12 free games.

Another shining memory for our family.

It should be noted that those teenagers should be very, very glad I was medicated.

We awoke Saturday to Wizzy saying she couldn’t breathe and didn’t think she could go to drill. Roger Leroy headed out with her Soldier friends while PhilBillPaul took Wizzy to the walk-in clinic.

This is the darling twin who has been sick for several weeks and in spite of trying to tough it out, is not getting better. Imagine that her bronchitis has not gotten better after playing rugby, flag football, tubing and early morning cadet physical training. Shocking, I know.

They came home announcing we needed to take her to the emergency room because the physician’s assistant was very concerned about meningitis because Wizzy said she had a bad headache.

As they left for the ER, they stopped back by the walk-in clinic to double check everything because the darling twins were vaccinated in high school for meningitis.

The good news…

No Swine Flu

and no meningitis either.

Two days of complete rest at home with more sleep than she’s had in a year and she still isn’t better.

Sunday, Roger Leroy and Casey got back from drill and spent several hours looking for her lost wallet and ipod.

I cooked a Sunday dinner compliments of Granny’s homemade noodles overnighted from Texas.

I added a Pumpkin Spice Cake with that Maple Brown Sugar Frosting from last weekend’s cupcakes and made some Caramel Apple Kisses with pretzels and M&Ms.

Because we’re still watching our sugar.

The wallet and ipod were located by Casey and Wizzy. In her bookbag. Roger Leroy is like the scarecrow on Wizard of Oz and that’s being polite.

After they ate, they headed back to college. They couldn’t wait for the desserts to cool down so she took a sad little container with 3 kisses back with her.

This is what happens when you set your camera on “cuisine” setting and turn off the flash.

Finally, three hours at urgent care on Monday with chest x-ray and blood work has confirmed Wizzy still has bronchitis and will be staying home for a few more days.

Such a boring weekend here. Please tell me you all had a much better weekend?!

It’s a tool that I use daily though I can go several consecutive days without using it and actually like those quiet lo-tech days!

This cartoon made me laugh and then made me think…

Close To Home© John McPherson

Have we taken multi-tasking too far? Can we honestly not get through our shopping trip without taking a call?

With the exception of a true emergency – is it rude to be on the phone as you check out or is it just being super efficient?

Just curious what you all think.

Regardless of your position on the subject, hope the cartoon made you smile. And I hope you aren’t “one of those people” who might need a little taser now and again.

My darling twins are cashiers. I hope they weigh in on this one. Is it harder for them to do their job and provide excellent customer service when a customer is on their cell phone?

I know I’m really just an out-of-touch uncool mom. Like you didn’t already know that…

Happy Friday – have a great weekend!!