So this very pretty lady came over for dinner on Friday. One thing we were brought up with and really enjoy doing together is breaking bread. We can do that like nobody's business.

When we've had a bad meal or experience terrible service (either out or at someones house), we speak of it as if it were a tragedy. On the flip side of that, when we are served a great meal, we have mad love for the chef. I remember this one time we went out to eat in the city and we ordered burgers. These were no ordinary burgers. These burgers warranted us to call the chef over and give him our props. We're food snobs and we can own that. 

While dressing up our tables would seem like a display of grandeur, we find it a comfortable and welcoming gesture for our guests and for each other. I put out my best for her because I love having her dine at my table.

I also love that when we get together with our girls, we all sit in the same seats as if they were assigned but no, it's just what we're used to. Our girls will have this tradition just as we did from our parents. We gather, we engage, we laugh, we eat. 

We had a beautiful dinner. We're both open to trying new foods and I was happy to see she liked sprinkling quinoa on her salad ;) We finished our meal and then she said "let's go lay down on your bed" as sign that her belly was content and ready for a rest. 

We are so different, yet so much alike. I love my sister more than words can express. (I know you're reading. It's your turn to cook next).

 

Truth: My body is bouncing back from a deep rest. I nursed myself through 11 months of sadness. I gave myself a pass from humanity and life and fully living mine for a time. I gave into each feeling, each craving, each teardrop like it was the only thing I had to hold onto.

And then, around the 9 month mark, I felt a shift. I was ready for something else, to move on from this insulated space I inhabited.

I've shared this already, but I'm feeling more settled in my skin tonight than I did a couple of months ago.

The thing is, my body suffered physically over the last year. As the days passed and I continued to lay dormant, my body weakened and got bigger.

I can't say I don't care about the bigger part because my health is in question and I want to be in tip top condition. 

But oh ... does the body know how to bounce back!

My energy levels have sprouted like ripe fruit. My senses are alive and alert.

I'm taking the advice of my beloved helpers who have guided me back from the depths and reawakened my spirit.

I shared this photo on instagram the other night. 

It was just an ordinary moment, among many I had that day. But in this particular moment, so many non-sensible things began to make sense, which kind of made the moment extraordinarily epic for me.

Every night, I go to bed stronger than the morning before.

I know nothing: I am a blank canvas of questions working double time for a little reveal. That night, I got a reveal and I have to tell you, it was the most peaceful I've felt in months.

My body is strong. It has never failed me even though I have failed it many times over.

I believe in self care for the body, mind, and soul. I believe that what I eat and how well I take care of my body is a representation of what I feel I'm worth. (this is not about you, this is about me. i don't have an opinion about what you do ... i've got enough of my own work to do).

I believe that we need movement for our body to work properly and maybe for our sanity.

I am awake and loving/living every minute of this life - this beautiful gift of a life. My body is precious and I am so aware now of how I treat it.

At the moment, the only expendable energy I have is for myself and my family, and that feels ok to me. I'm not trying to keep up or hope that my name doesn't drift away like a sad one hit wonder. 

No. I am here, now, present in my own life, doing my own thing, just like the rest of you, more aware of what I need and of what really matters to me.

Today @ 52 Photos Project, Jenn Gibson of Roots of She talks about her self care toolbox offering: Breathe Peace, the e-book. I'd love it if you would stop by there and see what she's up to.

xo

 

I'm feeling particularly small in a very big world without my mother on this hallmark holiday. Yet I feel like I need to be vividly present for my daughter, who wants to celebrate and honor her mom today.

Today I want to celebrate the motherless daughters, the childless mothers, the women who try desperately to conceive without success, the mothers who have no choice but to give up their children, the step-mothers, the aunts, the friends who are there to help, and the baby-sitters who arrive when we need them. 

It takes a village. Whoever said that spoke the truth. I am a mother everyday, and I bring my hands together in thanks for this blessing.