Garnet and I went to see Jane this afternoon. She was so delighted to see us both. She was smiling as if she was not experiencing any pain. She informed us she was being given medications for the pain and to thin her blood and another to dissolve the clots. Jane offered her car again to me to borrow. She is so nice and sweet to do that for me. Our visit was short, because Garnet had to preach this afternoon at the senior apartment complex. I pray Jane gets better soon. Garnet said prayer over Jane and her health. I thanked Garnet on the way to the apartment complex.

I was not pleased with the answer my doctor gave me. I was confused. If bone is crushed up against bone, where is the cartilage or the thin inner lining (synovium) of the joint allowing the smooth motion of my shoulder joint? How can that just “take time to heal”?

I further asked him about why he did not order any kind of xray on my painful sternum problem. He again stated “I did not feel it was necessary, since it is “cartilage” (false ribs).” I continued to ask him how can cartilage be this painful when I roll on my side in my sleep that it wakes me up with a sharp acute pain. He said “he didn’t know”.

As I sat there listening to his “excuses” for not treating the two painful problems I am experiencing and charging me for two office visits at $135 per visit plus the MRI cost and the radiology doctor bill who reads the MRI. I was not happy with what I was told basically I have to just live with the pain, the grinding in my left shoulder, the limited range of upward movement from the side AND the immediate pain in my breastbone or rib area, the popping sound of what sounds like 2 ribs hitting each other when I move wrong. I requested to be referred to an orthopaedic surgeon. Since I have already seen 3 of the orthopaedic surgeons at the center, I figured what could it hurt to get another professional opinion from a group of surgeons I have trusted in the past.

I was informed by my doctor’s nurse that she would call me with an appointment to a orthopaedic surgeon. That was on Wednesday and now it is Friday, still no phone call from my doctor’s office. I maybe getting a new regular doctor if I keep getting the run around. My youngest daughter finally got a new physician after my doctor made a serious misdiagnosis on her. Anyway on Monday, I will be calling and seeing if they did set up an appointment for me to see one of the othopaedic surgeons.

I have been doing some research about areas of my body that are experiencing the pain. Orthopaedic surgeons provide treatment to the musculoskeletal due to injuries and diseases of the bones, joints, ligaments, tendons and muscles. I feel like I am going in the right direction in getting proper medical care. If the orthopaedic surgeon tells me that it is just osteoarthritis in my shoulder, I want a solution to what can be done. I am already taking alendronate sodium tablets USP 70 mg (generic for Fosamax) once a week for my osteoporosis and also calcium 600 mg with vitamin D 400 IU twice a day.

So today, I just took it easy most of the day. I even laid down and took a nap this afternoon. I am feeling better and not using my arm so much today, the pain is a little better in my arm. Will keep you updated as I know more.

I came home from the hospital after his procedure and found on my answering machine several messages from my friend, Betty. I had forgotten we were suppose to meet that morning for Bible Breakfast. I had told her about George being in the hospital the day before and he was having the heart cath. I figured she would have realized where I was, nope she didn’t. The final message was she was clearly upset with me for “not returning her call”. I did call her back as soon as I heard all her messages. I explained how early we had got up and gone to the hospital. It took a bit to calm her down, she still wanted me to meet with her. I was so exhausted from lack of sleep the night before. There are still too many noisy, loud music cars driving in my neighborhood on and off all night. The police still have not increased patrol as they promised me or else they would be ticketing or arresting the drivers. Anyway, I begged off with Betty and apologized.

As I laid on my bed trying to take a nap, thoughts kept running through my head about how precious time is with Betty and Jane. Betty will be 90 years old in October. Jane just turned 89 in February. Both ladies have always been very active in the community and many organizations. I know I should have gone anyway with Betty. Guilt seems to plague my mind, but I have to take care of my health too.

I got up early Tuesday after another restless nights sleep. Around 8:15 my doctor’s office called about my MRI results. The nurse told me that the doctor requested for me to come into his office to discuss my MRI results. This kind of request is never good news. I informed the nurse I could not come in till Wednesday due to I had other plans already. After I hung up the phone, I sat on the side of my bed praying that this did not mean surgery.

I had asked a family member to help me today get Jane moved from the nursing home over to the rehab assisted living home. I was so amazed at how well she is walking now since she had broke her femur on April 24th. I was concerned about Jane coming out of the nursing home temperature to the outside temperature of 91. Today was the hottest day so far this year. Thank goodness Jane wanted me to bring her car, it has a great air conditioning. Jane wanted to do a few errands and go out to a simple lunch before going to the rehab assisted living home. So my family member stated he would take all the belonging over and take them to her room and just go back home. Then Jane and I had some time to ourselves for the next few hours. She also wanted to go by her condo and get a few more things. I really enjoyed my time with Jane, talking and laughing. However as the time was going by so quickly, we both realized all her suitcases had to be emptied. So we headed to the rehab assisted living home. For the next hour, I spent unpacking her belongings. After I finished, I was exhausted from the whole day and the heat from getting in and out of the car plus assisting Jane. Jane was kind enough to let me take her car home. I will be seeing her again in two days to take her for another outing.

I knew my house would be warm from the hot day and decided to eat dinner out since I was getting light headed. I enjoyed a nice tuna salad on a bed of lettuce and fruit plate of strawberries, grapes and pineapple. I am glad I ate out, because when I got home it was 87 degrees in my house. Guess it is getting to be the time to put the window air conditioning units in. Taking a nice cool shower and going to bed. Tomorrow I have to go to doctor for the MRI results on my left shoulder in the morning. Nite.

Today, I received another alert from McAfee that another Generic PUP.z was attacking my system. This time I noticed the path was different in my C drive. It was in my System Volume Information folder, then the Restore. Again, I followed McAfee removal instructions. I checked my Protection Status Report as I did yesterday and it states my system is protected. I wonder how it came back today.

I have been searching the web for a solution of removing Generic PUP.z. If you have had any problems with this attacking your system and have found a solution on the removal, please let me know. From what I have read on it, it will not infect or inject your computer from mine.

Thursday, I had my MRI on my left shoulder. I was surprised my doctor did not order anything about my sternum or ribs. I was told my results on the MRI I would hear from my doctor. I am having trouble sleeping when I roll on my left shoulder or the pain in my chest area around my sternum or ribs starts up. My doctor did not prescribe any pain killers. I am taking 2 Acetaminophen 650 mg each. It seems the only thing I can take to help the pain. I normally take one for my arthritis daily.

This Friday, my ex-father-in-law was having chest pains but waited till his wife got off work to say anything. She took him to the emergency room immediately as soon as she was told. Nitroglycerin patch was put on him in emergency room. He was admitted. Due to the weekend the hospital does not perform heart caths. So on Monday, a heart cath will be performed on him early in morning. He has at the present time, 3 different medications being injected through his IV. The nitroglycerin patch was taken off in his room when the IV was connected. He just had his 73rd birthday a few weeks ago.

We all are suppose to go to Michigan near the end of the month for my ex-husband’s brother’s 50th birthday party. Seems odds are against us. My ex and my son-in-law can not get off work to go to Michigan. Now my ex-father-in-law, George, in the hospital. Called my ex-brother-in-law, Ed, to tell him of his biological dad was in the hospital. We may have to make other arrangements for another weekend to all go up to see Ed and celebrate. For now, we all just have to play it by ear.

I called my niece tonight to see how her Uncle Rick was doing since his car accident three weeks ago. Her husband answered and said she was in Florida. There was a memorial service for Rick. He had been on life support equipment and the family decided to take him off the machines. Rick lasted only 20 minutes after he was disconnected. Rick was unfortunately drinking when he was driving. He had stopped drinking alcohol for a while, but he started back drinking a few weeks before his accident. As far as the other person that Rick’s car hit, we understand they are doing better. My ex-husband and daughter both knew Rick very well and they are both sad about hearing of Rick’s passing on May 29th. We all just learned about it today. So sad to die so senseless after just seeing his daughter graduate from college. This is a reminder for all people, Don’t drink and drive.

I have started walking more since I have not been sitting at this computer for 10 to 12 hours a day. I have even gotten back on my recumbent bike and started riding again. I had backslide for about 4 weeks.

I very rarely drink any diet soda pop anymore even though I love my Coke Zero. The more I read about carbonated soda and the side effects it is causing people. One article I read stated that drinking more than 4 diet sodas a day can lead to brain cancer. That made me do some heavy thinking.

I finally purchased my own water machine after renting one for 10 years at a cost $1,660. The new machine was a little over $90. I am still buying the 5 gallon bottles of water for the machine. The water is Artesian Spring water.

I have been drinking lots more water with the warmer weather we have been experiencing plus I just wanted to. I have slowed down on the amount of coffee and iced tea I consumed too.

The other day, a friend and I stopped at McDonald’s because she wanted an ice cream sundae. I ordered their plain yogurt parfait with strawberries and blueberries and a granola pack. Sometimes I do not eat the granola and just enjoy eating the fruit and yogurt. It is a delightful cool treat for me and healthier than the ice cream.

I had to go to the doctor yesterday because injured my left shoulder rotator cup, then my sternum. So I am getting an MRI on Thursday morning. The lady said it may takes up to 3 hours to do this test. I think that is sure a long time, but it is necessary so the doctor can pin point what exactly is my problem and if surgery is necessary. I pray to God that will not be necessary. Sometimes I think if my arm was in a sling and I didn’t have to use it so much, it would heal quicker. Even though it has been a month since I first injured it.

Well, it is getting late and I have a long day again tomorrow with the OWLS luncheon and meeting, then taking Betty to see Jane. I need to make sure I keep a watch on myself about not over doing it and wiping out my energy. So goodnight…..

My youngest daughter has always been a master manipulator. Now she did it to her older sister. This hurt me dearly. I went through keeping in the house and sleeping long hours. I felt like I was drowning in a sea of tears. Then I got up my backbone up and stopped feeling sorry for myself. I knew it would take a few weeks before I could shake this hurt. I am on my medications. I thought about checking myself in the hospital if I didn’t start turning around with my depression. I prayed to God to lift this depression and help me with the stress that is affecting my diabetes blood sugar readings.

I believe I am on the uphill now. Please keep me in your prayers and
thoughts.

One of the problems between the sisters is an age gap of 8 years. The youngest one is jealous of the older one when my oldest one spends any time with me. I listen to crude comments to me about it from her. For a 19 year old to be this jealous needs to stop. Does anyone have any suggestions?

My oldest daughter and I planned for months a road trip for a few days so we could get quality time together and did not tell my youngest daughter about it on purpose. The entire time we were on the trip, my youngest daughter kept text messaging my oldest daughter about where were we and when were we going to get back. I asked my oldest daughter to turn off her cell phone so we didn’t have to listen to the constant ringing of the text messages. My oldest daughter just chuckled about her sister’s constant inquiries about where were we. She would text her back, “driving down a country road” when we were on an interstate or turnpike another state away. It got so bad that my youngest daughter was calling at midnight when we were in the motel sleeping. My oldest daughter finally turned off her cell phone the final night at 10 PM. Next morning her sister was texting about why her sister did not text her back the night before. My oldest daughter was sitting on the motel bed cracking up laughing about her sister’s message. She informed me she was going to have a talk with her sister when she got back.

My youngest daughter did invite her sister to spend the night last night and today with her. She also invited us for dinner last night. Upon arriving, I could tell that my youngest daughter was not in a good mood towards me. I asked if I could help in the kitchen with dinner or anything. She would not reply. I asked if she was feeling well, still no response. She stayed quiet for another 5 minutes, then she let me have it about “all the time I spent with her sister”. I stated about how much time she had spent also with her sister the first two days including on Mother’s Day before she had to go to work. I sat and listened to her jealous fit. There was no reasoning with her. I gave up and decided to leave and go home. I apologized to my oldest daughter and my youngest daughter’s dad for leaving and quickly explained why and told them to enjoy their dinner and time with my youngest daughter and her husband. My son in law never even spoke or greeted me the entire time I was in their home.

I have made a decision about “tough love” with my youngest daughter and her husband. I will not tolerate being belittled or disrespected. I will not loan them anymore money. They don’t pay it back anyway. They both need to learn to make it on their own, since they are the ones to decide to get married so fast last August. They need to learn maturity and respect towards me when I have been the one to help them time and time again. I have been the one to help them move into their new home and clean their carpets. I have been the one that allowed them to live with me for three months rent free and do mounds of their laundry every week for free till I got my water and electric bill in and requested $20 a month from them. That was still way cheaper than it was actually costing me. I have done all of this for them in love for them and trying to help them get a good start in their marriage financially. I did not have this kind of privilege given to me when I got married. So now is the time they both grew up. The buck has stopped here. I will not go in their home till they invite me and apologize first for their actions towards me, else I will not go in there.

When my oldest daughter calls and ask me to come pick her up this evening or whenever she calls, I will go pick her up there in the driveway. I want to enjoy tomorrow, the last day with my oldest daughter before she flies back to Florida. She has not had a chance to see her “adopted” grandparents yet while she has been here either. The week has flown by so quickly. I wish it had been longer.

I am planning on flying down hopefully near the end of summer to see her, then go down to see my other friends in Florida. I need a break from the chaos of my family here. Stress is never good for my diabetes.

Then I was young and unafraid
When dreams were made and used,
And wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung,
No wine untasted.

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hopes apart
As they turn your dreams to shame.

And still I dream he’ll come to me
And we will live our lives together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms
We cannot weather…

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I’m living
So different now from what it seems
Now life has killed
The dream I dreamed.

Susan Boyle - Britain's Got Talent - on YouTube

I also enjoyed Jamie Pugh from Wales too that sang “Bring Him Home” from Les Miserables.
Jamie Pugh - Britain's Got Talent - on YouTube

Thanks everyone for reading my blog. I truly hope and pray you enjoy these wonderful, inspiring singers that God gave them this wonderful gift of talent. I am proud of my Wales ancestry and these fine “gems” hidden Wales. Simon Cowell’s words that people need to believe in themselves are so true. Dream your dream!

Then when Andrea Bocelli sang with Celine Dion in a duet of “The Prayer” at the Grammys in 1999, I fell in love with his singing ability of Opera. Then I heard Andrea Bocelli sing the same song with Josh Groban. I have always loved the music of Celine Dion and Josh Groban. By Andrea adding them to his song, was an extra bonus to my listening ears.

A few years ago, I started watching Britain’s Got Talent show. When I heard Paul Potts for the first time singing “Nessun Dorma from Turandot”, I was completely memorized. He would make the “3 Tenors” so proud, especially Luciano Pavarotti.

See Part 2 of Believing In Your Dream