this past week was SPARC’s second mobile hackathon. the first one was a 1-day hackathon with dozens of teams, sponsors, prizes, food… it was fantastic. it was my second time writing an android application, and it was about 10 hours of straight coding. it was exhausting and hard and fun and awesome and absolutely insane. i learned a lot, and that (to me) was the goal behind entering in the first place.

this one was much different. same end goal (develop a mobile app with a team of 1-3 persons), smaller number of participants, and instead of 1 day, we had a week to complete it.

so today was judgement day. today is when all our hard work paid off, and everyone got to show off their amazing accomplishments. the amount of talent that was in that room today was absolutely off the charts. the same thing can be said for the whole company on a daily basis. i can honestly say that there isn’t a single person working in that building that doesn’t bring something impressive to the table, and everyone is just a little bit weird.

in addition, people volunteered to bring food, beer, grill out, and have a good time. if there is ever a chance to throw a party, SPARC will gladly accept. you will never be let down. you may have a hell of a hangover, but you will never be let down. (no, i did not drink. but everyone else did so i partied vicariously through them. and ate lots of cookies.)

i can think of few companies that encourage such entrepreneurial spirits in their employees. not only do they give us the tools to be better at our jobs, but they give us the tools AND the extra push to try things that we may not have had a chance to try before. for a lot of people, this week was their first time trying out mobile development, and not a single person came away from this experience empty handed. the skills we all learned were motivation enough to enter (plus it’s just plain fun competition), but the prizes, food, and the friendly get-together were the icing on the cake–something SPARC is never lacking.

i only have one other work experience in my life where within the first few weeks, i felt like family, and felt comfortable, and that was when i worked for tech. support in college. i never thought i’d find another job i loved as much as i loved that one, and i’m thrilled to be able to say that i love going to work every day again. i might not love getting out of bed, but i love getting to work and being in an environment that thrives on its geek addictions.

so to everyone at SPARC that reads this, thank you for everything you do for all of us. the past 6 months have been a whirlwind of nerdy awesomeness that i never expected to just fall into the way i did. i look forward to the next big hackathon and can’t wait to see where this company takes us.

thanksgiving and christmas were hectic, as always, but this christmas was especially interesting, because the week before christmas brett and i found out we were pregnant.

and as you probably know, the wedding was going to be in september. but because i didn’t want to have the wedding near the end of or right after the pregnancy, we bumped the wedding up to… 8 days from today. since i’m only 8 and a half weeks pregnant, i won’t be showing my wedding gown. YAY.

and now that the wedding is in january, that left me with little time to prepare for all of this. i magically organized the whole wedding in less than 2 weeks, which i’m glad i did, but now i keep trying to think of things i might have missed. which i’m sure i have.

i guess in the end, as long as the food shows up, people get their booze and cake, and my dress fits, we’re good to go.

then there’s the honeymoon. since neither of us were expecting any of this, we were extremely lucky to be able to take off work for everything. that is a miracle in itself. we’ll be at disney world the entire week after the wedding, and i could not be happier about this. there is NO way anyone can go to disney world and NOT have fun. i have been hard at work making reservations… psyched.

i told myself i wouldn’t be doing any website work from now until we get back from the honeymoon, and i’m so glad i did that. i think i would’ve lost my mind had i tried, because my company decided to have another mobile app hackathon this month. specifically this week. so in addition to work, i’ve been waist deep in java for the last 5 days, and i can’t seem to get away from intellij even if it’s just to eat my lunch.

so not only are we a week away from the wedding, but we also had our first ultrasound yesterday. i left for the doctor appointment irritated at a nullpointerexception i couldn’t fix in time. let’s just say… i forgot about it. quickly. i can now say with 100% confidence that there is a tiny human in there and its heartbeat lit up the monitor like a little firefly. i guess i forgot about the part where this is actually a really emotional experience and my eyes started welling up instantly. i was able to hold it back, but my whole body was shaking and my heartbeat felt like it tripled.

it’s wild how quickly things can change, and i know people say that all the time. but i guess this is just my first time experiencing just how drastic those changes can be.

2 months ago, i was picturing getting drunk with brett at our wedding and partying our asses off at pleasure island. now all i can think about is how i need to do everything i can not to screw this baby up. and what happens after that? and now we need a nursery. and we have to have a baby shower. and at some point i have to become okay with diapers and the stuff that goes in them. and i’ll probably have to trade my truck in at some point before i’m due. i still have a red hat security exam in june. depending on how all this works out, that may or may not have to be cancelled.

there is just so much to do now that i never would have thought about. all i know is that i’m happy and terrified at the same time, and we’ll see where this all takes us.

screw all the articles. i’m (an estimated) 7 weeks pregnant. booya.

i know that the chances of a miscarriage are much higher in the first trimester. i know that it is going to be absolute hell having to tell everyone if, God forbid, something happened. but i am tired of not being able to talk about it, or blog, because i have *nothing* else to talk or write about. my life right now consists of nothing but wedding planning, my laptop, TBS, loki’s treatments, falling asleep on brett, and this thing growing in my stomach.

i am almost certain it hasn’t hit me yet. my first OB/GYN appointment is next week for my first ultrasound. so if it *hasn’t* hit me yet, it better hit me then. brett is going with me, and i am beyond terrified. and excited. and stunned. i actually forgot to “invite” him until last night. like, “hey, uh, so do you wanna go with me to the doctor?” “um, YES…” oops?

i just never expected to find myself in this situation. not until at least, you know, 2 years from now maybe? after the wedding. after we had been married for a little while. but i guess living together for 2+ years is just gonna have to suffice.

we told our families over christmas break. i think my dad said it best when he said, “…but kids don’t have babies!” i know, dad. i know. and to think, just this past summer a guy come to the door asking about alarm systems, and he asked me if my parents were home. surely this will go over well.

so, the wedding is no longer this september. it’s in LESS THAN 3 WEEKS. slight change of plans. surprisingly, i pulled everything together as soon as we found out. i called everyone–the venues, the caterers, the cake place, the florist, the minister, everything. invitations were done and out within 3 days. and the weirdest part was, i had already purchased ALL of the reception decorations 3 weeks before we found out i was pregnant. so there’s that.

and all of the wedding decorations i bought are fall themed because, you know, september wedding, sunflowers, rustic, cozy colors. and all that will stay the same.

yes, we’re having a fall wedding. in january. i know. the freaking cake even looks like wood.

anyway, i’ve been taking the prenatal vitamins. i started running again. i ditched my inhaler/asthma/allergy meds (emergencies only). i stopped drinking as soon as we found out, save for a glass of champagne on new years and a glass of red wine the other evening. which i won’t be doing again because it tasted strangely like vinegar. that’s the only thing that’s changed in taste so far, and every day i have been craving tacos from taco bell smothered in nacho cheese sauce.

no morning sickness yet. only overwhelming tiredness, and a lack of energy like i’ve never experienced–part of the reason i started running again. the other part is i’m worried about my depression resurfacing once the bodily changes start kicking in and the hormones are full speed ahead, if they’re not already.

everything is making me cry lately, but strangely it’s all kinds of happy things. for example, the other night i had a random memory about my mom reading me love you forever when i was a toddler in our first house, and i could NOT keep the tears back. the other morning, frank sinatra came up on shuffle and i almost got in a car wreck on the way to work because my tears were filling up my eyeballs. all that music just gets me. God help me the day judy garland comes on. even the episode of friends where monica and chandler proposed to each other had me tearing up.

i know that pregnancy is not an exciting thing to anyone who’s not pregnant or hasn’t been. believe me, a post like this would’ve had me snoring 3 months ago. hell, even wedding planning would have. but once you experience it (even the few short weeks that i’ve encountered), that just disappears. suddenly, baby clothes are cute and not disgusting. babies are cute and not scary or foreign. well, they’re scary when i think about them coming out of me, but other than that. i try not to think about that yet.

i know for a fact, however, that i am most excited about this: this baby will have 5 amazing grandparents, and 7 amazing GREAT grandparents. i can’t even put into words how happy that makes me. it’s overwhelming. 2012 has truly surprised and blessed us with more than we could ever think to ask for.

the last week and a half have been a mad rush to make a september wedding happen in january, and it has all been worth it. i am so blessed with unbelievably supportive family and friends and i could not be more excited.

best part of all is that i’m marrying my best friend.

I AM SO STOKED

if you like wings or buffalo chicken sandwiches, you’ll probably like this pizza. oh, and the picture is the pizza uncooked. i was too busy stuffing my face after this was taken.

(this is me procrastinating on other websites i should be working on, by the way. i needed a break and this wine is tasty.)

i do it the fun way with pillsbury pizza dough. this stuff is awesome and easy and awesomely easy.

first, spray down a cookie sheet with no stick spray. preheat the oven to 425F. unroll the dough and make it whatever shape you want. i wanted a circle, but it comes in a rectangle and after fighting with it for long enough trying to make it a circle, the rectangle won.

whatever. it’s still pizza.

i usually keep chicken breast tenderloins thawed out in the fridge the day before i make this so i don’t have to defrost anything. this is because i’m really impatient.

so now you have chicken. boil the chicken for a while until it’s fully cooked. i usually just let it go and forget about it for a while. i don’t really chop the chicken as much as i tear it apart. kind of like pulled pork/barbecue, but with chicken.

then i either take texas pete hot sauce and mix it with melted butter, or i just buy buffalo wing sauce. again, lazy. whatever you have at hand, throw the chicken in but don’t get too much extra sauce because this makes the pizza turn to mush.

i usually throw a little bit of shredded mozzarella cheese on the dough before i put the chicken on, but it doesn’t really matter. then i scatter the chicken bits all over the dough, and cover again with a little bit of shredded cheese. if it doesn’t look buffalo-ey enough, i’ll drizzle some extra sauce over the top.

bake for 18-20 minutes, cut, drizzle with ranch dressing, and devour!

i find that this goes especially well with a cold glass of chocolate milk. i don’t know why, but it’s freaking amazing.

there are like 6 ornaments on that tree that have brett’s name on them, and i don’t have a single one. i don’t really know how that works. i do, however, have my sparkly christmas pickle. i guess that’s pretty special. it sits beneath his christmas football.

i don’t know what it is about the glow of the tree while sitting on the couch that is so incredibly awesome, but it sure makes it feel better in here. and so far, thor hasn’t even touched it, except for while i was putting the tinsel on. i knew better this year than to leave any tinsel near the bottom. or dangly ornaments. i was still finding ornaments behind brett’s xbox/TV area several months after last christmas.

loki was supposed to have her second round of chemo today, but her white blood cell count was like 10% of what it was supposed to be. so instead of chemo, she got new antibiotics since she’s prone to infection. and i was so graciously blessed with another hefty bill, and sent back home to cry go grocery shopping. she goes back thursday to try again.

i hate bills lately. also, i almost puked in the pizza aisle.

the only upside to all that was that we bought ingredients so i could make broccoli cheese soup and grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner. it seemed appropriate for a crappy, rainy night.

you really can’t go wrong with comfort food, sweatpants, and a christmas tree.

and i also bought pillsbury gingerbread dough. for 2 reasons. 1) i am too lazy to actually bake after i cook dinner, and 2) the last time i made gingerbread dough, it basically turned to cement.

the other news of the day is brett and i changed our wedding date. the venue we wanted got booked, and all the other venues in the area were either just “eh” or waaaay too expensive, so we bumped it back a week. and settled on a church. i faxed the church application in today, and once that gets somewhat solidified i’ll call the venue and get that booked. keep your fingers crossed that the new date doesn’t get booked before we get it.

that would be our luck, though. for now, september 29th, it is.

either tuesday night or wednesday morning, brett and i will be driving to mooresville.

i may or may not drive to winston that night. if i don’t go that night, i’ll go the next morning.

that day, i’m driving to raleigh with my mom to visit my grandparents.

then we’re driving back to winston that night so i can drive to my dad’s the next morning to have a second thanksgiving with them.

then i’m either driving to mooresville that night or the next morning to go back to brett’s. we have planned to spend the day saturday looking for places to get married.

i am pretty sure we’ve decided on the reception venue, so we need to find a church for the ceremony. which makes me a little uneasy because i’m not a very church-y person (going to a private southern baptist middle school kind of beat that out of me), and i already know that i won’t be comfortable with a big fancy church with the organ playing and the whole 9 yards. that scares the crap out of me.

and this is the south, so there are a lot of those. but i’ll be damned if we’re not gonna try to find one that suits BOTH of us.

i am really hoping we find someplace this weekend so we can actually start planning things. i have all these fun ideas, but i am kind of stuck right now since i don’t know how those ideas can actually unfold when i have nowhere to imagine them in.

i feel so behind in all of this. but, such is life. it will be an awesome day no matter what.

and the latest news on the loki front… she had her first round of chemo today! she did fantastic, despite the first 5 minutes that she spent shaking severely. every time she sees someone in blue scrubs now she just turns into a nervous wreck. for that, i can’t really blame her. but she’s done and is acting normal, tormenting the cat, begging for ham.

i did have a bit of a scare about an hour ago because she wouldn’t walk on the leg they put the IV in and kept holding it up like it hurt. i think the bandage was too tight, but i called the vet and they told me to bring her back in (open 24/7 and it’s literally across the street from us, couldn’t be more convenient). they wanted to make sure she didn’t have a bad reaction to the chemo, but they said she’s fine and they removed the bandage and they didn’t even charge me. thank god.

i’ve been paying off as much of my credit card balance as possible lately, and i’ve beaten my first goal, which was pay off as much of the surgery as possible before chemo starts so that the entire cost of chemo won’t max out my credit limit. so… i feel better about that. the last thing i want is to have my card maxed out. mostly because of emergencies and i am having dental work done in the near future, but christmas is also coming up. i’m way behind in comparison to last year when i got ALL my christmas shopping done by october. amazon is awesome that way.

back to website work, and another shot of whiskey with brett. here’s to paying off that credit card!

anyway, all work business aside, today was also more loki news.

i am so sick of the vet by now. now i know how my parents felt when our old dogs had all their problems. i don’t like when the vets know me this well.

she called me this morning to tell me that loki’s biopsy results came back negative for the particular mutation they thought it was. which is good and bad. good in the sense that it’s not what they thought it was, but bad in the sense that none of the ways to fix this are as surefire as they would be for fixing that mutation.

the pills that would fix the mutation only have a 40-50% success rate with other cancers, which is right around the same success rate as chemo.

DAMMIT. you know? loki does not deserve this. if we do nothing, there’s a chance it comes back. so i can’t do nothing. i have to either do the pills or the chemo.

the catch to the pills is it’s 6 months worth, $600 a month. $3600. ouch. and if the cells aren’t eradicated after the 6 months? more pills. plus there are a lot of possible side effects. mostly nausea/upset stomach, but 6 months of that just sounds awful.

the chemo is 8 visits for $450 each, and it will be over after those 8 visits, more than likely. she said that almost all of her patients haven’t had any side effects (at the most, they puked on the first day), and it doesn’t seem to bother them. so i’m going to go ahead and get it over with.

loki goes in for her first chemo treatment monday. 1 blood sample, 1 IV, out in less than an hour.

please just let this be over with.

nothing exciting has really happened. just… a lot has been going on. i feel like i haven’t even stopped to take a breath.

the loki news first. she got her stitches taken out this evening. i found another lump on her left leg/shoulder last week but i had the doctor take a look at it and she says she is close to certain that it’s nothing, so that made me feel better. just keep an eye on it, should be fine.

what made me feel even better than that was when she said today’s vet visit was FREE. holy crap. i was expecting at least another $200 (removing stitches, nail clipping, diagnosing possible second lump). what a relief.

loki is thrilled to have that damned cone off her head and she has been doing nothing but playing and throwing her toys everywhere all night. i love when she’s happy. i don’t know what i’d have done the last almost-6 years without her in my life. i really don’t. her second biopsy results still haven’t come in. i called the doctor and she said to expect a result by friday. keeping my fingers crossed. pray for no chemo.

besides all the drama going on with loki, i think i over committed myself on side work to keep my mind off things. side work meaning god knows how many website projects. most of which i LOVE working on. it’s just that i am so obsessed with getting them done and pretty so i can be like LOOK WHAT I MADE YOU GUYS that i do nothing but work lately.

i’m one of those people who can’t read books. NOT because i don’t like to read (i really enjoy it), but because if it’s not something i can sit and finish without stopping, like within 1-2 days, it will drive me MAD because i won’t finish it. same thing with websites. i’m so impatient. some projects force me to wait because i have to wait on my clients, which is fine, and awesome actually because it forces me to quit working for the evening and, you know, go to bed. but if i don’t have that, i don’t really stop.

like today. i have been going non stop all day. not to mention the semi-crisis that happened at work which i can’t/won’t get into. one thing. after another.

things just keep showing up on my plate, basically. i’m ok with it. but my brain is not. it’s like I NEED TO ORGANIZE EVERYTHING ON MY TO DO LIST AND DO THIS IN AN ORDERLY FASHION… and life just won’t let that happen. and it’s making me nuts.

aaaand that’s why we have wine.

i need to sign up for another welding class. or go back to my flight classes (but so expensive =/ ). or do something else to get me away from the computer. within the last 2 years i’ve done welding, pole dancing, cessna flying classes, and tumbling. love all of them (except the pole dancing, that was more like 8 weeks of awkward humiliating fun time), but none of them cling to me like computers.

so to fill that void, i’ve fore-fitted going to the LAN party this weekend at work (OH MY GOSH) for 2 reasons. 1) i’d only play quake, and no one else would probably play it for more than 20 minutes. and 2) brett and i are going to take the hunter safety course.

a friend of ours is a warden and we’re going to try and go hunting on the naval weapons base until we can get accepted into one of the hunt clubs around here. the base is shotgun or bow only, so i don’t have to buy a rifle yet. thank god, because i can’t afford that after loki. so i’m crossing my fingers that i can get hooked on hunting. i’ve wanted to go SO badly for years now and it just hasn’t happened. and now it is. and i’m so excited.

this post got a lot wordier than i anticipated. blame the wine, people.

and is going to continue to kick it. loki is taking it better than i am at this point. she is back to her playful cuddly self, and i could not be happier about her recovery.

i got a call from the doctor this morning about her results. there is good news and bad news.

the good news is the tumor is a “low” grade 2. this is awesome because the doctors are certain, for the most part, that it A) has not spread, and B) will not spread. her x-rays prior to the surgery showed no signs of spreading thus far.

the bad news is because the tumor seems to be inside her skin/collagen/bodily fluids in that area, they think it has a certain mutation, which they think has more of a possibility of coming back.

in order to find out if it has the mutation or not, they have to send it to another lab for another biopsy. for another $200. which was actually nowhere near what i expected it to cost. i was expecting to hear like $800 or something ridiculous, so my reaction to $200 was more like, “oh thank god”.

so i told them to start on it. they’re sending it to another lab and we should hear back within 3-4 days again. if it *is* the mutation they’re expecting it to be, they say the pill they have in mind *should* eliminate it. *should* meaning that this pill has a success rate of 50% of large tumors, and after loki’s surgery (since her tumor is effectively non existent at this point), if there is anything left to be removed, the pill should be able to remove it entirely. which is good.

if it doesn’t (again, hopefully we still won’t have to get to this point), chemo is the next option. i still do not want to think about that.

happy thoughts… happy thoughts… ugh.