Be Your Own Kind of Beautiful!

Yoga For Your Brain

2013-02-18T09:11:00.002-07:00

We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. Anaïs Nin

Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are. Markus Zusak, I am the Messenger

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. Marianne Williamson, Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"

There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature. Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. Ralph Waldo Emerson

If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If the world were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to change the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it very hard to plan the day. E.B. White

It is what you read when you don't have to that determines what you will be when you can't help it. Oscar Wilde

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. Ralph Waldo Emerson

To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one’s self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived—this is to have succeeded. Bessie Anderson Stanley

Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be. Shel Silverstein

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou

Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. Martin Luther King Jr., A Testament of Hope: The Essential Writings and Speeches

Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do. Apple Inc.

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. Albert Einstein

The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool. William Shakespeare, As You Like It

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. Dr. Seuss

People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway. Mother Teresa

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye. Jim Henson

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close. Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. Lao Tzu

Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings. Anaïs Nin

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable. C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

Sunday Morning Coffee

2013-02-10T10:54:00.000-07:00

1. I'm back on Weight Watchers & feel like a COMPLETE moron walking around all day - iPhone in hand - obsessively looking up every morsel of food on my WW Food Tracker app before I eat it.

Plus side: the obsessing helps me to not focus on how completely & totally ravenous I am all the time.

2. I'm ready for beach weather!

3. I want this dress for the aforementioned beach weather.

From myuniverse on Etsy

5. To get your skin pool-side ready, I'm cooking up some more Salt & The Sea scubby bars this week. My latest creation is a luxury soap made with champagne that I'm completely stoked about. It's quite decadent - made with olive oil, cold pressed coconut oil, shea butter, argan oil, champagne (of course) and coconut milk. It's scented with a Chanel No. 5 type fragrance (can you guess what it's name is? :) It's absolutely lovely!

6. This.

Vanilla & Coconut Soap

2013-01-13T12:19:00.001-07:00

I spent my day yesterday making a luxurious batch of Vanilla & Coconut Soap. I've been obsessing over making this recipe absolutely perfect for months now. I wanted to do a soap with a base of cold-pressed virgin coconut oil only - because I have a love affair with coconut oil... I think it's the best thing for our skin EVER! With the exception of my pure Castile soap - which by definition must be an olive oil only soap - coconut oil is the base oil for all of my formulations.

{A note on Castile soap: the best known "Castile Soap" on the market is Dr. Bronner's. Their liquid soap oil formulation contains coconut, palm & olive oils as the base oils - olive being listed last means it is the least of the oils. That's not "real" castile soap. Dr. Bronner needs to rename his soap...}

Coconut oil only soaps are kind of tricky - you have to get the formulation just right. I decided coconut milk would be the perfection partner to coconut oil in this recipe. The coconut oil is highly cleansing while the coconut milk adds back in moisture. For oily or combination skin, this soap will be a must have!

Ever wondered how soap is made? Here's a sneak peek of my new Vanilla Coconut soap in progress...

Here's the mixture as it began it's journey toward becoming soap:

I love what the addition of coconut milk did to this recipe. I may move to making all my soaps with coconut milk!

This is what the soap looked like immediately after it was poured into the molds. It's a beautiful cream color here but due to the high vanilla content it will cure into a brownish color. I add nothing into my soaps to prevent this color change. I like for my soap to be as natural as possible. The only thing I add is fragrance - and my fragrances are only the best and most gentle that money can buy.

This is a picture of the soap as it was going through what is called the "gel phase". It was a perfectly uniform gel! Some soapmakers don't like their soaps to go through a gel phase because it alters their colorants. I like my soaps to go through a gel phase because I want them to heat up as much as possible - I think it enhances the soaponification process.

Here's the soap after it was un-molded and cut.

Now it goes on the shelf to cure. It will be available for purchase in my Etsy shop in 4 weeks. But for now, check out my selection of moisturizing whipped body oils & watch for some new product additions later this week!

Moral Courage

2013-01-08T20:39:00.001-07:00

“Few are willing to brave the disapproval of their peers, the censure of their colleagues, the wrath of their society. Moral courage is a rarer commodity than bravery in battle or great intelligence. Yet it is the one essential, vital quality for those who seek to change a world that yields most painfully to change.”
― Robert F. Kennedy

Excited!

2013-01-08T12:58:00.001-07:00

I found the CUTEST little tins for my Chanel N. 5 soaps today!

The Magic.

2012-12-31T18:46:00.000-07:00

There is a magic about New Year's Eve. Cheering in a new year, putting to rest the mistakes and short-comings of the old one. Setting goals and sharing dreams for the future.

For me it has grown even more exciting than Christmas. I suppose as I've gotten older - long after growing out of the childhood Santa phase - the Eve of a brand new year has become the highlight of my holiday season. I love the prospect of starting anew each year. I have only set a few New Year's resolutions in my life - one of which I accomplished, the few others faded away as the new year progressed.

I had the terrible habit of picking vague and frequently out-of-my-control goals as a teenager. One year I was going to make the love of my life materialize, the next year - somehow - I was going to wish into existence enough money for my "perfect" show horse. I thought they were wonderful and ambitious resolutions!

As I ventured into my adult years I started saying I didn't believe in making resolutions. I had my horrid resolution track record, plus everyone always had that yearly exercise and weight loss resolution... I always thought that to be so cliche as their resolution maybe lasted a month or so and then faded into the background of their realities. Until recently, I never resolved to lose weight. I won't be resolving to lose weight this year either.

As I have moved toward the acceptance phase of my life I realize that resolutions are becoming more important for me. They are a chance to set goals for my New Years and give me a chance to reflect on what I'd wanted and accomplished in the year previously.

My resolutions for this year are simple and are keeping in line with the basic idea of this blog - I want to continue my quest to live and love who I am today and take advantage of the things that life brings my way. Instead of shying away from opportunities out of fear or intimidation, I want to meet life on life's terms. To take advantage of the opportunities that come my way and make the best of them. And I want to share with my readers what I've learned this year - that we are all our own unique kinds of beautiful. We have wonderful unique talents and abilities and we all have something to offer this world.

To start out my quest I would like to share this video with you.

Sometimes things fall into our laps and we know that they are important to us. That they can impact others for good. This video is one of those things. Sent to me a few days ago by the artist, I knew the moment I heard this song that it was monumental. It is something we all need to hear and see - and adopt into our lives.

To start this new year friends, I'd like to share with you "How To Be Beautiful" by Danika Holmes:

From Danika: "Several months ago, we asked fans to send in photos of “beautiful moments” in their life. Men sent in pictures of their wives and daughters, women sent in photos of themselves with sisters, aunts, grandma’s and best friends. We received around 500 photos from people all over the world for this video."

Danika is giving away this song for free on her website. I hope you'll take a few minutes to stop by. And I hope this video speaks to you like it did to me - and that one of your goals this new year will be in becoming the best you that you can be, discovering your own unique kind of beautiful and using it to better this world that we all share.

Wishing you all the best for 2013.

Merry Christmas!

2012-12-25T13:16:00.000-07:00

MarilynMonroe.com

Saturday Morning Coffee

2012-12-22T10:34:00.000-07:00

I have a daily dose of inspiration waiting for me each morning in my inbox. I've come to cherish my daily advice from "The Universe".

Many of you have seen me posting my favorites on Instagram and Facebook - like this one:

Get your daily note from the Universe here.

Have you heard the phrase "thoughts become things"? I've discovered over the past year that this phrase is more true than I would have imagined. What you think & believe about yourself is what you become.

But when you allow that little shred of doubt to come in... you ruin it for yourself.

Some important lessons from 2012 in my life...

Believe in yourself. If you don't - no one else will.

And in addition to that, you have to...

Create the life you want. You can't sit around waiting for someone else to bring you happiness, prosperity or any other positive aspect of your life. You must be an active participant in your own success.

And I try every day to remember that...

Happiness happens now, today - it is not some illusive creature waiting to be found. You must create it for yourself.

Happy Holidays!

All you need to know in life can be learned from Peanuts.

2012-12-12T19:08:00.001-07:00

I love this...

2012-12-12T13:28:00.000-07:00

Making my own bath and body products...

There's something quite significant about it - about making things that make me smell and feel beautiful.

Luscious: Carnival Whipped Oil

To be honest this all started because I wanted to smell and feel clean and beautiful without having to spend a fortune. I never really intended to open up a soap shop. Now I'm selling a few things on Etsy and have dreams of an actual physical store someday...

I'm willing to invest a bit more in a soap, lotion or other bath product than what you might typically pay for something you'd buy at Wal-Mart or Target - even Bath & Body Works, etc - because better products last longer than cheaply made and produced ones. Plus, I can't pronounce half the crap on their labels. I don't know what all that is - why put it on my body just so I can smell good? But I have been grossly disappointed in even the higher end bath and body products on the market.

I've been doing my research and to be honest, you don't want most of the crap they put in there on your skin. Yes, even the "Organic" brands. You get mass amounts of detergents, preservatives, harsh fragrance oils and who knows what else. I prefer real soap, made the old fashioned way with lye. Soaponified oils. Those aforementioned companies have given good old-fashioned soap a bad rap. They try to tell us it's drying to the skin - but it's not.

You do know all this "Organic" nonsense is just a scam to get you to pay more for their crap, don't you? Everything on this planet is organic. As long as it's not synthetic - it's organic! That USDA Certified Organic label is such a crock of shit... No matter what it's on. Plus - you can't label synthetic things as "Organic". Wake up America!

Personally I think that the major brands you purchase in large chain stores and the like might actually put drying ingredients into their products on purpose. That's a hefty claim - I know. But I have noticed with each brand that I've tried, it feels fine when I initially smooth on their body lotion - but not long after I'm just about (if not more) dry-skinned than I was before I used their product. The proof is in the pudding - or lotion, as it were. I don't need an admission of guilt from them. My skin tells me all I need to know.

Soap Lore: There are many legends surrounding the discovery of soap. According to the Romans, soap gets its name from Mount Sapo. Animals were sacrificed on Mount Sapo in ancient times. Rains washed the fat of the sacrificed animals along with the alkaline wooden ashes from the sacrificial fires into the Tiber River. The rainwater would mix with the left-behind animal fats and ash and trickle down into the river below - soapnificating the mixture on its way down. The cleansing properties of this early "soap" were discovered by accident, when women who were washing clothes in the river just below Mount Sapo noticed a lathering substance in the water that helped get their clothes much cleaner. When humans first started making soap on purpose, the soap maker had to judge the strength and quality of the lye and its reactions. In 1832, the French chemist Eugene-Michel Chevreul demystified soap by showing that saponification was a chemical process splitting fat and lye into soap and glycerin. Soon it was discovered that adding palm kernel oil produced a soap that lathered more easily. Soap started to be wrapped and named to give it product distinction, and aggressive marketing and advertising began.

Once I dive into a project - I'm in all the way! I am now making my own soaps and once my recipe is perfected to my liking - I will also be offering the soaps in my store. I am working on my formulations and have plans to offer much more in the coming months - lotions, body washes and facial serums, lip balms along with the bar soaps I'll be offering. These are exciting times for me!

Saturday Morning Coffee

2012-12-08T11:06:00.000-07:00

Saturday Morning Coffee @ Be

My rambling yet somehow coherent thoughts on a Saturday morning.

News you missed whilst you were sleeping... (or that I missed whilst being busy.)

You have to read this for the title alone: Social media may be a weapon against childhood obesity, experts say

How do you spell dumb ass? Hannah Sabata.

Is anyone else getting sick of this? If there's no hockey soon I'm going to LOSE IT! (what I have left if It that is...)

Life Hacker's Weekly Highlight

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Now - on to today's topic:

I follow a lot of weight loss and fitness blogs - and I have noticed something...

Ya'll get hurt a lot.

Knees, back, ankle, hips, arthritis problems... I already have all of those problems - what I call my Fat Girl Problems. I'm in pain 24/7. I don't want to injure myself to an immobile state. I need to exercise - but what can I do that isn't going to injure me?

I walk 8 hours a night at work and come home in terrible pain. Pain like I just finished being punished by a fitness trainer. I can barely move. That's my fault - my lack of mobility for so long has really done some damage. I've allowed myself to get so out of shape that it's pathetic.

Relocating to Arizona 6 years ago is when I stopped moving basically. Then I got a job that got me moving a bit more for 2 years - then they closed the company (thank you economy!) and I went to a desk job for 4 years. My depression went to it's absolute worst and I've pretty much been sleeping away my life ever since. My new job has me up and active again - but I didn't expect it to be so painful and take SO LONG to get back into shape. I'm coming up on my one year anniversary at my new job and I still come home everyday in pain. Is this just my life? This is it - now I hurt for the remainder of my years? I've never really been an exerciser. I walk - but gyms aren't my style.

I'm still wanting to do yoga - I think it might help. But I'm struggling to find a place that is fat people friendly, convenient in terms of distance and travel time and that is willing to work with my zero fitness level. Oh and I don't want to be in a huge class of skinny people. Online yoga is perhaps an option. If I can figure out how to get it on my TV instead of my iPad. I need to be able to see them doing the poses! But there's something about not having a live instructor on hand to help that scares me.

Have any of you tried out any online fitness classes? What were the pros and cons you experienced?

to inseminate or not to inseminate... that is the question (on my mind right now)

2012-12-07T16:35:00.000-07:00

I haven't had much time for writing lately - but I want to make it a priority again. It's therapeutic for me and I miss my blog friends!

Just a quick update on what I've been up to lately - there was my niece's dance recital this past weekend. She is becoming quite the fabulous little dancer - and my sister is a full blown Dance Mom.

Holy crap...

{Niece is on the far left}

Also - I have gone bat-shit crazy again. I've been doing a lot of re-assessing of my position in life and where I want to head from here. I'm not where I wanted to be at this point and I keep running into major roadblocks. Currently finances are keeping me from completing my Bachelor's degree in Psychology. I am 4 CLASSES AWAY from finishing! What a kick in the pants! My financial aid is exhausted and I cannot obtain any additional student loans to pay for it. That is really, REALLY depressing. My financial situation is rather tight right now and there's just no extra money laying around to pay for it.

But on a better note - I'm currently OBSESSED with my Etsy shop and creating new and exciting products for it. I am trying my hand at real soap making - lye and all - which is a fun and exciting project for me. I'd love to one day open a shop of my own. A real shop - the kind with 4 walls and people - instead of just an online shop. But the online version is a great place to start.

I'm also not getting any younger and having no luck in the dating department. I am 33 and if I don't have a baby within the next year or so I will likely not have one at all. So I am looking into artificial insemination. I think it would be easier than attempting to maintain a relationship with someone AND raise a child - if you want me to be entirely honest. I'm not going to settle for a less-than-perfect relationship in order to have a child. And when I say "perfect" I know there really is no such thing. But what I mean is MY perfect relationship. The person worth dealing with all the bullshit for. The person I love enough to sacrifice everything for if need be. I have not found that person. I don't know if I ever will. I'm kind of a loner - so I'm ok with that. I met someone that I thought was worth all of that - but I'm getting the "he's just not that into me" vibe right now. So I think I'm just going to let that one go...

I've discussed my artificial insemination thoughts/plans with a few close friends and family and have been surprised by their reactions. They are supportive of the idea. In fact, not one friend or family member has felt it was a bad idea for me. I'm not afraid of single parenting. But I'd like to get my online friends' take on this. Do you know any women who have gone this route? Even though I am getting supportive feedback from people - none of them actually know someone who has done this. Not a single person anyway - homosexual couples, married couples - but no single people. I really don't even know how to approach this with my doctor...

Saturday Morning Coffee

2012-11-17T06:01:00.000-07:00

Saturday Morning Coffee @ Be

What you missed whilst you were sleeping...

No more Twinkies for you!

Intricately detailed watch or a bomb? You decide...

And - did you know that men are shallow? Who knew...

That last one I'd like to talk a bit about this morning. I can't even tell you how many married men I've been "best friends" with in the past. They've repeatedly told me things like: what a wonderful wife and mother I'd make.. how gorgeous I am inside & out... how they can talk to me better than they can their partners... how "sane" I am compared to other women... One actually made this statement: "If only I'd met you before I'd met my wife..."

o.O

I have never really thought too terribly much about my numerous friendships with unavailable men. Some of which I still maintain. They have been some of the best friendships I've had. Simple, uncomplicated - no expectations. I thought perhaps it was me - I gravitated toward those unavailable men because they posed no threat - and perhaps that's a part of it. But after reading this I realized - that's not all there is to it. Men will be men and men like to have sex. It's rare that they become close to a female without the hope that one day they will "bed her" - for lack of a better term.

I went through a range of emotions after reading this - then a light bulb went on. All this time I've been thinking how disordered MY thinking patterns must be - because I can maintain no long term relationships with any member of the male population other than platonic ones with unavailable men. Married men, ones that live so far away I really have no chance of maintaining a long-term relationship with them, men with skinnier-than-I-am girlfriends in tow.

Perhaps it's not me - the person. It's me - the fat girl.

Beauty is an attitude.

2012-11-10T10:44:00.000-07:00

"Be your own kind of beautiful." ~ Marilyn Monroe

We all like to smell beautiful, feel beautiful & BE beautiful. The perfect scents coupled with the best skin care products can make a girl feel & look like a million bucks.

My idol - the immortal Marilyn Monroe - taught us that we should all be our own unique kind of beautiful. She is my greatest inspiration in life. Her many complexities, talents & troubles may never be fully understood - but from her life & legacy I learned many important lessons. Not the least of which is that beauty may seem to be skin deep in this superficial world we live in - but when your beauty shines from the inside, it can't be ignored.

I'd like to introduce you to my new Etsy shop:

To celebrate my Grand Opening, I'm offering free shipping on any order shipped within the Continental United States for a limited time.

Even the natural beauty of Marilyn Monroe required the right skin care. My products are designed to take the guess work out of beautiful skin. While you're out there conquering the world ladies, you needn't worry about your skin. I've got you covered. You concentrate on your own unique legacy & let my products assist you by taking the guesswork out of perfect skincare. My goal is to help you to feel & look your own unique kind of beautiful.

This shop is the product of my 8 year quest to formulate the perfect line of natural bath & body products. I don't believe in using pre-made bases for my products. What you purchase here is made by me, from scratch, in my kitchen. As such, you will never find any nasty, dangerous chemicals in my products. I prefer quality over quantity.

These gentle yet effective products are formulated with only the finest, purest ingredients. My scent oils are researched extensively and the companies I choose to do business with are chosen for their safety & commitment to quality, natural ingredients.

I use organic ingredients when possible & only purchase organic butters and base oils. I do not test my products on animals. You are getting only the highest quality ingredients when you purchase my products. I hope you love them as much as I do!

Why would you put water in your body butter?

Introducing the first release in my Natural Bath & Body Line, a rich, creamy decadent body butter called Carnival by Be.

Carnival by Be Skin Butter is a sweet scent reminiscent of county fairs in the fall. It is a divine mix of Cotton Candy, Jasmine & Musk. Prepare for compliments! Not only on the extreme softness of your skin - but you'll also smell so good you may develop an entourage of sniffers!

(A fragrance free version is available for you super-sensitive folks. See my store for more information.)

A freshly prepared batch of Carnival by Be Skin Butter

RECOMMENDED USAGE & TIPS:

To get the optimal benefits of this concoction of fabulous butters, I recommend applying it to your full body - concentrating on the rough bits (elbows, heels, cracked skin, etc) immediately after you get out of the bath or shower. The butter will easily melt into your damp, warm skin. It is perfect for dry climates & winter weather and it's a miracle for dry cracked feet, elbows & hands. It will last all day & will also last through several hand washes.

**In warmer climates this delicate butter may melt in transit. You can return your butter to a solid form by putting it in the refrigerator until it re-hardens. It will also re-harden after a few hours at room temperature.**

INGREDIENTS:

Here are some of the highlights of my base ingredients:

Organic Unrefined Shea Butter:

When it comes to skin loving & softening ingredients, Shea butter is way ahead of the pack. This 100% natural Shea butter is extracted from wild kernels of Shea tree fruits. It remains in its unrefined state in my butter as the refining process strips it of its beneficial skin-loving nutrients. It helps to protect, soften and regenerate dry, dehydrated or sensitive skin. It is *safe & beneficial for all skin types.

*you should not use Shea butter if you have a known allergy to tree nuts.

Organic Extra Virgin Coconut Oil:

I have been a coconut oil lover for years. I keep a jar in my bathroom & use it for a number of cosmetic reasons: as a gentle make-up remover (it even gets off waterproof mascara!), as a face lotion & to smooth & condition fly-away hair. It is said to delay wrinkles & sagging skin - helping us to age gracefully. I also use it as an eye cream & have noticed that the elasticity of my skin has improved dramatically with continued use. Coconut oil also helps in treating various skin problems including psoriasis, dermatitis, eczema and other skin conditions. As a body lotion however, I felt it needed a boost. Shea butter was just what it needed.

Sweet Almond Oil:

High in Vitamin E, sweet almond oil is a skin necessity. It hydrates and moisturizes, has been used as a treatment for itchy and dry skin, and may help skin conditions like eczema.

**This lotion contains no preservatives - they are unnecessary as I use no water or other fillers. It has a shelf life of approximately one year. I make your butter when you order it so you will receive only the freshest products. Slight variations in color & texture may occur due this. Some formulations may contain organic, aluminum free corn starch or arrowroot powder to remove some of the greasiness.***

Things to Ponder...

2012-10-12T16:47:00.001-07:00

Consider this...

"When someone shows you who they are; believe them."

~ Maya Angelou

Wise words from a wise woman - but what exactly, did she mean?

People often give us little clues, small glimpses into their true feelings & beliefs. If you pay close enough attention to those insights - the relationship "red flags", so to speak - & follow your instincts you'll save yourself a lot of heartbreak down the road.

Many of us - myself included - will ignore those gut intuitions. We cling to the thought that people can change - and they can! But you simply cannot expect that in your relationships, romantic or otherwise. You don't have to settle for less than what you deserve and you certainly shouldn't settle with the hope or expectation that they will change. How would you feel if you found out your partner had married you with the expectation that you'd lose weight after you got married? You would be heart-broken, no? So why do so many of us expect our partners to change?

Taboo Topics: Religion

2012-10-11T16:35:00.000-07:00

This post has been in the "draft" stage for weeks now. I have been questioning the decision to disclose quite so much information about myself and my past online. But I realize that in order to heal and thus to reach my full potential, I must deal with my past and let it go. In order to be the Me I Wanna Be, I have to figure out what is behind my depression, my binge eating, my anxiety and the numerous other issues I struggle with on a daily basis.I could do this in therapy - but I've always been better with writing. They have yet to supply me with online mental health counseling and I don't want to sit in a room with a stranger and tell them my problems. They never come out clearly and no one ever has anything useful to say. Been there, done that, not going back to therapy. My blog is my therapy.

So for my first "session" I want to talk a little about religion. (I always have to start with a bang.) I was born into the Mormon faith - the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. My parents were converts to the church prior to the birth of my older sister and were very involved in and devoted to their religion. So from Day 1 of My Life, I started being taught how to be a Good Little Mormon Girl.

Me, Dad & Seester at Church one Easter Sunday

We were taught that our (and I quote some man of great importance in the Mormon religion of whom I can't exactly recall right now) "greatest calling on this earth is to become wives and mothers." Preferably to an abundance of children and definitely to a priesthood holding man, with a marriage only in the Mormon temple.

Beware of he who would deny you access to information, for in his heart he dreams himself your master. ~ Pravin Lal

Now at this point I should probably inform you that I have since stopped going to church - Mormon or otherwise. I have "Left The Fold" in Mormon-talk. Though I do believe in A Power Greater Than Myself, I am not exactly sure whom or what that power is. So for all practical purposes, I call he/she/it God. I don't put much stock in the Bible. If it is the Word of God, it has been interpreted by Man and likely manipulated by Man - because that's just kind of how people in positions of power roll. I don't have much faith in Man. That's not really relevant to this post, but I just wanted to make that point clear.

Back to Mormonism - I left for several reasons. Though I tried diligently to be a Good Mormon Girl it never really felt entirely right to me. I always felt something was "off". We were taught that God wanted us to be righteous and virtuous and I recall thinking - well doesn't some one have to be evil? Maybe I am one of the people who He decided was destined to be evil - because Mormonism never felt exactly right. But Mormonism was all I knew. Leaving it and having to face the world without the protection of it was terrifying. I lived in a virtual self-imposed Mormon bubble. Growing up I rarely associated with anyone who was not Mormon - because the church leaders advised us not to. If we had non-Mormon friends we were encouraged to give them a Book of Mormon and bring them to church with us - hoping to convert them. Non-Mormon friends were not as righteous and their morals were different. Being close to other Mormons was the safest thing to do.

Dating outside of my religion was out of the question. But in my small south Georgia town, the pickins' of eligible Mormon bachelors to date were slim - so I just didn't date. Wasting my time with non-Mormon suitors was fruitless - as they did not hold the priesthood and could not take me to be married in the temple.

As Mormon children we were taught not to question our religion, that the male-only Priesthood was the most important thing in our lives and a home without a virtuous priesthood holder was somehow lesser of a home. My father was our Family Priesthood Holder and I adored him. Still do actually. I thought Daddy could move mountains and the priesthood is what gave him the power to do it. Through the Priesthood men could heal the sick, receive "divine revelations" and lead the church. Any and all positions of power through-out the church are held by men - priesthood holders - and the minuscule positions reserved for women were "ordained" by priesthood holders. They are "divinely inspired" to call women to serve as members of the Primary Presidency (Primary classes are basically Mormon Sunday school for small children), Relief Society Presidency (The Relief Society is the women's organization within the church), & the Young Women's Organization (should be self-explanatory...). All of these positions are unpaid volunteer positions and take up a large chunk of your time.

Now - I tell you all of this because it was integral in shaping my person. In no way do I wish to put down the friends I keep in contact with who are still active members of the church. I respect their decisions and all I want is them to respect mine. Though I had my doubts about the church growing up, I remained faithful - hoping that one day my faithfulness would be rewarded. Around age 21 I found myself unable to pretend anymore. I decided to stop going to church. For me, this is when life really began. But it also meant relearning virtually everything I'd thought I'd known. Shaking some of the Mormon beliefs is hard - and remain so to this day. But I am learning to live again. That sounds harsh doesn't it? That I would have to heal from Mormonism. But that's the level of control that Mormonism has over your life. Your world.

For me, life feels far more "right" today.

You Are...

2012-08-26T21:39:00.001-07:00

What do you stand for? {Monday Mantras}

2012-08-20T13:18:00.000-07:00

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What do you stand for?

Beautiful As I Am Campaign

2012-08-16T16:35:00.002-07:00

My bloggy friend See Millie Tri shared this today on Facebook and I simply had to post these pictures for you all to see. These photos are from Leslie Carpenter of May Faith Photography in Vancouver, WA's Beautiful As I Am Campaign. Carpenter said, "I did this from my heart. I did this so every woman, every girl will know it is OK to BE YOURSELF. Be beautiful as you are."

Her photos went viral in only 3 short days, with the goal of having the original image - the first one shown below - shared 10,000 times.

I shared.

Will you?

Ranting & Raving

2012-08-11T11:57:00.002-07:00

Why do we strive so hard for perfect bodies? Why is it so "taboo" for a woman to be fat but not as much for a man? Sure - men get crap from their doctors and perhaps their families for being "morbidly obese" but the pressure for them to be physically perfect is not nearly that of what a woman experiences. As a fat man, you still have your choice of females to date. As a fat woman, many feel they have to take what they can get. This is a horrible thing.

As hard as I try, and as much as it goes against all my society imposed ideas and thoughts, I can't fathom it. Every fiber of my being wants to shout at couples of fat men and model-like women, blaming them for all that is wrong with the world.

If we were meant to all be perfect and exactly the same - or perhaps just slight variations of the same perfectness (ie: hair, eye color, etc) wouldn't God have made us all the same?

Why do we find it appealing to suck the fat off certain parts of our bodies & replace other parts of it with fake bags of goo? Why on EARTH would we allow some surgeon to chop off our noses & replace them with a totally different one then inject our lips with God knows what to make them appear as if we've just been attacked by a hoard of angry bees? But just in the lips. We risk death for the sake of being attractive to other people. I don't know about the rest of you, but anyone who tells me that I should physically alter my body - to the point of possible death if complications arose - in order to be more desirable to them is not the kind of person deserving of so much as a look from me.

At what point in our society did the opinions of others become more important than our own?

Bears Repeating.

2012-08-08T15:20:00.000-07:00

I love the Body Love Wellness website and this post bears repeating...

Their marketing campaigns are only good if we keep buying it.

Something to think about...

Glass Ceilings

2012-08-06T16:01:00.001-07:00

There are certain things in this world that are within our control - there are others that simply are not. My mission with this new blog direction is to help myself and others succeed in life regardless of differences and perceived limitations.

I recall during the early years of my college career as a Psychology major, we were required to take an introductory Sociology course. We learned about a thing called the "glass ceiling". Ever heard of it? Here's the definition:

"The glass ceiling is a popular metaphor for explaining the inability of many women (and minorities) to advance past a certain point in their occupations and professions, regardless of their qualifications or achievements." (source)

I was never overly fond of Sociology. Regardless, at one point I briefly switched my major to Sociology because I felt the field needed a major revamp. Who better to do it than me? But that didn't last long. Mainly because I have the inability to keep my mouth shut when I believe in something. Professors don't like it when you argue with their societal norms. I don't like societal norms.

I recall sitting in my Sociology class the day we learned about this proverbial "glass ceiling". I raised my hand and said "it's just glass... break it!" That garnered a chuckle from the entire room. And a philosophical comment from the professor: "Yes, it'd be nice if we could do that, wouldn't it?" Only - I wasn't kidding. I was dead serious. If there's glass in the way of your dreams, break it. If there's water in the way - borrow a boat. Mountains? Pffft... Don't tell me I can't do something. Anything is possible.

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This belief of mine often gave my mother tremendous trouble. She liked to tell me I couldn't do things. Oh? I can't go play in dad's workshop in flip flops? Watch me. Then watch as my father comes running in the house carrying a screaming Heather because I've gotten a nail stuck in my foot. Touche dear mother! You win this round... What's that you say? I can't dive head first into the shallow end of the swimming pool? Watch... and now please call an ambulance.

Once I matured out of that rebellious stage (I was well into my twenties before that happened), this trait has become a positive one. It has gotten me jobs, it has gotten me promotions. It even got me fired once. But everyone needs to be fired at least once in their lives. It builds character. I was fired from my second job at the age of 16. I was a veterinarian assistant. A woman called to inquire about her cat - did the doctor know what was wrong with him yet? No - I told her, he was still running tests and he did not know yet. I was only being honest. Apparently it's not ok to tell a pet owner the truth. Screw you asshole veterinarian! That vet hated me because I was fat, young & inexperienced. I hated him because he was vain, stupid and cheating on his wife with the office manager - who he subsequently made fire me. Good riddance...

I'm older and wiser now - but that doesn't mean I've given in. Being an overweight person AND a woman, I fight with glass ceilings around every corner. Glass walls and doors too. My solution to this? *I carry a sledgehammer in my purse. You should too. Be prepared to call people out when they are wrong. Norms only remain norms when the people within a society uphold them. Reject them. And never, EVER settle.

*Disclaimer: I don't carry a real sledgehammer. I don't advise you to either. It's a metaphor.

The Transformation is Complete!

2012-08-02T09:45:00.001-07:00

Well kind of...

At least, the blog transformation is. This blog shall now be known as BeYourOwnKindOfBeautiful.com & it shall embrace self acceptance, self love and health at every size. The transformation of me however, is a life long process. But I've made some pretty historic progress lately.

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No longer will I allow myself to feel like an inferior human being because I am fatter.

Today I am embracing a quote that has been hanging on my bedroom wall for two years...

{don't mind Scarlett's head, she's such a camera whore... ;)

Today - and for the rest of my life - I am redefining what is beautiful.

Today I begin a journey to health at the size I am right now.

Today I am embracing loving myself as I am right now.

Today I show the world that beauty has no bounds.

It knows no size, no color.

Everyone has the ability to posses it.

I am...

My Own Kind of Beautiful!

And so are YOU!

Health at Every Size

2012-07-25T10:26:00.002-07:00

I've decided to move in a different direction with this blog.

I've decided to stop wishing for the perfect body - and move toward accepting the body that I have and making it healthy. I'll likely be changing the name of this blog - because I'm no longer looking to Shrink to Fit into an ideal that everyone else imposes upon me. I am what I am. I've been who I am for 32 years and I'm not changing. So please bear with me as we experience some change...

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Too Good to Be True

2012-07-02T14:35:00.001-07:00

I think this should be not only the #1 rule of dieting, but also the #1 rule of dating. And I'm officially giving both of them up. No more diets and no more broken hearts...

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yah, yah... Can't a girl dream?