side notes

Living in sin

2006-08-05T05:26:00.000-07:00

So one month from now it'll be official, my boyfriend will be moving in with me. It's not that big of a change because he's practically living with me now anyway but I guess the reality of the situation is starting to hit me- I am growing up. A lot of people seem surprised when I tell them that he is moving in, I guess if I was an outsider I might be a skeptic too. We have only been dating for 6 months, but as I joked with him the other day, it feels like years. It's weird how you can be totally connected to someone after such a short amount of time, and feel more connected to that person than that loser you dated for 5 years when you were in high school. It's such a different feeling.

I am actually a huge proponent of living together before you get married- as long as it won't hold up the process, like if the guy is moving in so he can prolong bachelorhood. How else can you really know if you are compatible with someone? Usually it's those little annoying things that are deal breakers. Once you are with someone and you discover these things for the first time you could be freaked out, but without the commitment factor of the ring, they can seem less like huge obstacles and more like cute little foibles.

In any case I must say it is exciting and I am looking forward to it, and the extra rent money won't be bad either!

An Alternate Universe

2006-04-10T11:39:00.000-07:00

Remember when "the internet' was this strange thing you didn't understand? It consisted of weather, news and chat and the only way you got to use it was by going online at school or wasting 20 minutes trying to connect at home through your dial up modem? Now everything we do, everything we are somehow relates to the internet. It makes it easy to find information, find old friends, and buy things people don't know exist (or maybe don't want to know).

The internet also makes the world more accessible and more anonymous than ever. There are many people who like to take advantage of that fact- which is probably the reason many child molesters seem to be coming out of the woodwork recently. The dirty old man has finally learned how to use the internet- yay! But to be fair, let's not forget all of the female educators as of late being mentioned in the news. Seriously what's so irresistible about your 14 year old student that you can't keep your hands off of him? Must be those cute fart jokes he tells his friends, right? As if teachers didn't have enough to worry about with the low pay, standardized testing competition, and overall general BS- now they have to worry about someone questioning their motives when they have a student after school for detention.

Reality or Idealism?

2005-09-07T17:18:00.000-07:00

Turning on the television tonight to see what was on, I noticed that 90 percent of all the shows on were reality based TV. When did this happen? When did voyerism become the rule not the exception? I can remember, not all that long ago, when there was one reality program and it was called the Real World. It was fun watching seven strangers live in a house having their lives taped, it was refreshing before everyone decided to cash in on what was to become television as we know it. I mean, I really don't care what happens to peoples lives when they swap wives, live on a deserted island, have horrible kids they can't control or 16 year olds birthdays that cost more than I will probably make in my lifetime. Let's start living our own lives and not vicariously through others.

Well, it's been a long time since I blogged- for good reason though. I got sick for like a month and my life is slowly returning to normal. During the most stressful time of the year at my place of work- stress got the better of me and I got mono and my immune system shut down for me to get shingles. For those of you who don't know what shingles are- it is the one of the worst things you can get especially if you get it on your face- which I did. Thankfully I got myself to a doctor. I picked up a lot of info though on shingles. I won't bore you with the stuff I think is interesting but one thing I thought was funny is chicken pox and shingles are forms of herpes. So, what they use to suppress them are the same- Valtrex. When I went to go pick up my prescription I made sure I told the pharmacist all about what it was for. I wouldn't normally care but there was a problem with my insurance card and I felt like I was at a deli and they were screaming my medication back and forth to each other. Ok, maybe not screaming- but hell like any other person I don't want anyone to think I have an STD- esp when I don't. The best part of my sickness is that I got to quell it with 5 glorious days of percocet.
The worst part of this whole debacle was that I just got a puppy the week I got sick. She is the greatest thing in the world and I love her to death, but acclimating her to my apartment has become a full-time job. I am having a lot of guilt with it since she seems so sad when she isn't at my parents house which in turn leads me to spoil her. In the future this will become a problem. So, Anyone with any suggestions on how to stop this merry-go-round, your advice is welcome. Leaving you with a picture of her...and I promise- blogs will become more frequent because I have a holiday blog I have been working on.

One last thing....when I do a spell check on a blogging website- why won't they recognize the word Blog???

Profiles of Serial Daters

2005-08-19T20:58:00.000-07:00

Having been on the "internet" scene for quite some time (haven't I figured out it is so not worth it after almost 4 years?), I have decided to use my knowledge on the subject so that other women will not make the same mistakes as myself.
If any of these descriptions seem familiar- it's probably because you have A. dated one of these people, or B. are in tune with yourself enough to recognize this is you

Meet "Mike" You chat online for a while, meet up at a bar once but no real sparks fly. Neither of you really contacted the other because it just wasn't a good fit. Months go by, randomly- you get a message. So, having nothing else going on, you decided to try it one more time. You get drinks, he follows you like a lost puppy to the next bar to meet up with your friends, and on the way home calls you to stop off at the diner. After a great good night kiss, he calls you the next few nights and then nothing. One month later another random contact. Said guy goes to friends xmas party, the whole night is awkward- and then no word at all after that. WTF? What was that? I really don't even know. The closest diagnosis I can come up with is that he had a girlfriend.

Which brings me to.....

"Jason"
Jason seems great when you chat, is really cute, has a stable job- but hates to talk on the phone..ok you can accept that. You decide to meet for a low key evening- pizza. Great conversation, you are really feeling each other. You leave and over the next few days you don't hear from him because he's camping. When you do finally chat, Jason tells you he "thinks you are great but"....here it comes...."this girl I am sort of seeing thinks our relationship is exclusive when I thought it wasn't, so I told her I wouldn't go on anymore dates". What, were you trying to see what it would be like to be a swinger and your girlfriend caught you? Who posts a Match ad when they already have a girlfriend? Seriously, if I wanted to date unavailable men I'd start crashing weddings and making out with grooms in the back room of the banquet halls.

"Peter" as in Peter Pan
Peter- we all know him!! Works at: a bar/restaurant/for daddy. Peter thinks he is gods gift to women and that you should be so lucky to command his attention. He thinks that the grass is always greener and tends to have relationships that are full of drama, and have a 6 month shelf life. Peter, playing around with Tinkerbelle gets old- Wendy is a real girl and really likes you. Yes she has her flaws, but so do you- I mean, you do wear green tights.

I guess the moral of this story is....I don't really know. All this experience has really taught me is not what I do want in a male, rather what I don't want. Well, at least I am narrowing it down.

Cate

2005-08-07T07:20:00.000-07:00

Apartment Update...

2005-08-03T19:46:00.000-07:00

I found an apartment!! YAY finally after searching and searching. I decided after looking around a bit that location was key. For anyone who knows me this goes without saying, but I am a bit of a snob when it comes to my belongings and surroundings. I really don't think I am materialistic and I am not a mean or snobby person- I just like nice things.

My future landlord cut me a deal on this place that I really couldn't pass up. I mean, $1,000/ month waterfront? 2 Bedroom? I would have been insane not to take it- even thought it is a little nicer than I can afford. But- I guess ramen will become my diet once again. Here are some pics of the place, and hey if I can't be on the beach in Hawaii-- how 'bout living on the beach in CT? No- there is no battle there but it beats a lot of other locations I can think of.

On one last related note- I can't deal with internet dating anymore- so until further notice I have to take myself off- but I do want to post the funny stories I have endured over the years--so that'll be coming up later this week

I'd Rather Be Here....

2005-07-28T19:53:00.000-07:00

Work sucks, my relationship sucks (wait, what relationship? haha) I would love to pack my bags and go to Hawaii, I would even settle for the Caribbean at this point. My day off is ruined tomorrow because I have to go to court. I have to go to court to fight a ticket for running a yellow light, yes that's right folks, a yellow light, is that normal? And...the state of CT hates me because it just so happened that my court date is on my day off...and it's at 2pm so it ruins my whole day. I have never seen a court time for 2pm. Hopefully Sunday will be nice out so I can get outside.

Apartment hunting has widened its scope... I am now including Milford-woodmont area in my search. I feel living near the beach will create the illusion that I am on vacation. Crazy? Yes please.

My aunt's friend's cousin's fiance knows this guy who's friends with.....

2005-07-17T22:25:00.000-07:00

LA at brass monkey for Karaoke

So I am officially having LA withdrawal. Who would have thought that a place I was convinced was so plastic, pretentious, and stuck up would be...well who am kidding it was and is but I just really don't care- I had so much fun!!! I think it has to do with all the day drinking, night drinking, and celeb watching I did. It's kind of scary how obsessed I am with celebs when I am there, it's like I'm on a mission. I mean, at home I read People like every other person just to get the entertainment news (come on you know you read it too), but in LA we'd go to certain restaurants that had good a good view of the street where celebs shop and eat. It sounds kind of stalkerish but at least I am not pointing a camera in their face- I'll save that for my friends at People who provide me with my weekend reading material.
My new favorite show- Entourage is a testament to all of this. It shows this one movie star and his friends who are all getting girls just by association with him. I could probably see myself getting caught in that trap. Like if a guy came up to me and was like "Hey, you're cute, nice to meet you. I waited on Vince Vaughn once at this restaurant I used to work at." I would probably only hear Vince Vaughn and forget about the fact that he's a waiter- not an actor (because if he were, he'd shout out some things he'd done rather than random actor's name). My response would be something like this. "oh cool, you know Vince, what's he like" expecting a real answer when all I'd really get was how he liked his steak cooked.
My friends are trying to get me to move out there, but we'll see. Who knows, maybe I will get discovered at a karaoke bar. Well, for now I will stick to my day job.

Stress and the city

2005-07-07T10:46:00.000-07:00

For some reason all of the problems I am facing came down on me all at once- today. I almost had an anxiety attack on the way to work and my eye is twitching, is that normal??

I have decided to do something about the post college debt I have incurred- so that is weighing very heavily on me. As I look at the amount of money I owe, I can't possibly begin to account for it. I mean I have a lot of clothes but seriously how does one person spend that much money? Well I don't have an answer for it so I am seeking professional help to get me out of my hole. And the sad part is I am not alone with this problem, a lot of people my age are in debt.

Work is also crazy. My job is so bipolar, I either love it or I hate it. Right now I hate it because it's adding to the stress I already have.

And for the pièce de résistance- My sister is kicking me out so her boyfriend can move in. In any other case I could just ease out of my apt since they will be sharing a bedroom- but I CAN'T live with him. Case in point: I leave my laptop downstairs because we have wireless internet. I use it in the living room so I can watch TV and surf the net at the same time. My sister's bf likes to look up subaru crap on it and my computer mysteriously has all these pop-up things on it. So, I put a password on it. I come downstairs today- and OH my power cord is missing. Hmm I wonder who took it. It's just juvenile things like this that cause me to hate him. So in the next few weeks, I have to find a new apartment as well.

Well, at least I feel a little better getting it all out!

Idiosyncrasies of dating in the 21st century

2005-02-15T12:15:00.000-08:00

Dating when you are in your 20's and out of college is unbelievably difficult. In college you are surrounded by thousands of people with the same interests as you, the same age and the best part was you probably lived right down the hall from them. What a wonderfully conducive environment for having a relationship!!

As soon as you walk down that stage with diploma in hand, your dating prospectus takes a turn for the worse. You get a job after a summer of lounging in the pool and all of a sudden you are thrust into an 8-hour a day job where the person you know the best is the guy who sits in the cube next to you.

Telling yourself that inter-office dating is a no-no, you set up a profile on match.com and pray that you get some viable responses- i.e. college educated; doesn't work at a bar/restaurant or other entertainment industry that requires him to flirt with girls for tips and work until 3 am every night and the only conversation you have is when you are half-asleep and he's half cocked; doesn't have plans for overseas travel; doesn't consider jeans and a tee shirt high fashion; and actually is capable of carrying on a conversation and doesn't need to be babysat for when you go out. Is that really so hard? Apparently it is.

After going on some pretty lame dates, maybe some lasting longer than they should have considering not meeting your set "requirements" in the first place, it soon becomes clear that there is a considerable lack of normal people. Is it so hard for people to actually just say what they mean/feel? When I was younger, I had this fear of rejection thing but now I would just rather know the score so I can move on, because I'm not getting any younger. It always feels like men my age are looking for something better to come along, a veritable "grass is greener" syndrome.

As you realize you are done trying to do things for yourself, you beg on your hands and knees for your friends to set you up with someone they know. And it's always the same answer- "I don't really have any single friends" or "I just don't think you two would make a good match".

After hearing this many more times, you throw in the towel and either A. wait for something to come to you, it'll happen when you least expect it blah blah blah or B. succumb to the fact that an office relationship is like a rite of passage and while never a great idea is so appealing in theory- I mean you'll never have to worry about who he's having an affair with at work because you're always there!!

Obviously choice A is the most sensible pick here, but since when is being sensible any fun?

Merry Christmas!!

2004-12-15T10:50:00.000-08:00

Do you ever notice how some people get really pissed when you wish them a merry Christmas? Like I am supposed to know they don't participate in it or they do and want to be politically correct? I am supposed to say "Happy Holidays!!" but you know what? Sometimes I say merry Christmas on purpose. And it's not that I have something against other religions, I myself don't really subscribe to one, but it's just the holier than thou attitude I get from some people. And let's give it up with the made up holidays. A lot of us feel neglected and depressed around this time of year but do we make up our own cult-like holidays? No- we drink a few shots eat a lot of food and spend way too much money. After all isn't that what the holidays are all about? The following is not my own creation but it's so funny I have to post it. Have a MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Deer Santa:

I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.
Yer Frend,
BiLLy

Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
Santa

Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace
and joy in the world for everybody!
Love,
Sarah
Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa

Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love,
Teddy

Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build yourself a family with those?
Santa

Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum
kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love,
Francis

Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay.
Santa

Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love,
Susan

Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jim Beam.
Santa

Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
Your friend,
Thomas

Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made by little kids like you in China Every year I give them a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table.
Santa

P.S.

Tell your mom she got the part.

Long DongClaus

Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?
Love,
Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.
Santa

Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE
could I have one?
Timmy

Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater again.
Santa

Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
Love,
Marky

Mark,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams,
Santa

P.S. DON'T PISS OFF THE POSTAL SERVICE,WE KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!

A New Post!!

2004-09-06T14:10:00.000-07:00

Ok...never mind- I have waited like a month to post that blog- It's just not getting done.

On to bigger and better things.
I have officially become an insomniac. It's 2:45 and I am writing in a blog. To top it all off, I didn't go out on a Saturday night and stayed in and watched all the on-demand channels we recently aquired. Thankfully, not going out was not my decision, yet one made for me by medicine I am taking. Actually, I probably could go out but spending a 5$ cover and not drinking watching everyone else get drunk? umm no thanks, I'll be here with my movies. I revisited Chasing Amy today. I love that movie. Seriously, it has Kevin Smith's usual humor, however it really has a message. But deep down- aside from the lesbian makeout sessions and sexual references, it's a chick flick.
Work has also recently calmed down--finally. After 5 months of agony I now can wait until june to start it all over again. Why do I do this again? Oh yeah- hawaii- which better happen.
Working where I do, I tend to encounter many irresponsible, rude and generally apathetic people. I could probably fill a book with it all- and my co-workers and I have considered a reality show. I am an admissions advisor with a proprietary school. As much as I would love to have most of my students come from affluent communites, our main markets are Stamford, Bridgeport, New Haven. I really want to do a sociology project on how socio-economic status affects your general manners and overall regard for the human race. As I have discovered, people from the more affulent communities are more apt to cancel appointments appropriately and also to show up for them. And then my favorite thing is phone manners. For example- letting your 2 year old answer the phone- or better yet there is no one home with them; yelling at the top of your lungs at someone to get on the phone (I am lucky I haven't suffered any permanent hearing loss); and the top one is requesting information and then either hanging up or getting mad that you are getting a call???!! wtf?

on a last note- yes, I am a Yankees fan. Yes, I would have liked them to have gone to the world series. No, I don't have red sox sign in my house or do you hear me cheering them on. However- I am watching the games and you know what? Partially because I could give two shits about St. Louis- but wouldn't it be nice to see the Sox win? I mean they haven't since 1918 it's about damn time and then Eric can drink his stupid champange.

Reality Bites...ouch

2004-08-07T11:43:00.000-07:00

So, I need to update this because I have actually gone on my summer vacation and also my friend Cristina was begging me to write more haha jk. So, last week I went to the cape and Nantucket. It was fun but not like awesome. I guess I was expecting like thrilling nightlife in cape cod. I am not really sure why I was expecting that. I mean the last time I was there I was 13 and my idea of fun was going out for ice cream (my how times change, my students who were 13 wouldn't have been content without a liter of vodka). So basically, I fried out in the sun and went shopping- not bad at all. But there are some definite characters on the cape. For instance this couple who walked into the restaurant. Usually when a woman and a man go out to dinner you have the scenario that the guy is wearing jeans, hat, messy shirt etc. But, when this couple walked in the woman was wearing a sports bra and matching spandex pants and the male was wearing a ..well never mind the fact is that the woman was wearing gym attire to a nice restaurant-what the hell?? So, not that I am a mean person, but my friend alison and I were thinking about pitching a new reality show to VH1- "behind their backs" is the title. Basically the premise would be filming various social situations and doing like a mst3000 narrative on unique people and their fashion/personalities. I am really not shallow, but that would get ratings.
In other news- I finally got to do some rollercoaster riding yesterday at six flags. I feel like i am on crack today because I am still on a coaster high. But I am coming to the realization that summer is almost over..where did it go? You know when you were little and the summer lasted forever, and Christmas never came? Well, every year older I get Christmas comes sooner and I actually have to shovel snow and drive in the mess and my presents aren't nearly as good as they used to be- last year I got stuff for my apartment. I mean I needed it but what happened to cool gifts? You can't really play with a washer and dryer. HEY get your mind out of the gutter!

My summer vacation...or lack thereof

2004-07-07T13:18:00.000-07:00

I's been a long time since I last blogged, as someone pointed out to me today. I guess I have been busy at work...it's the only explanation. But my life is pretty stagnant right now. Don't you hate when someone, a friend maybe, calls you and you haven't spoken with them is a while and they ask "hey what's new" and you have to reply "nothing much". I find this true a lot recently and mostly because it's not that there isn't anything new going on but that what is going on isn't of much interest to people. So I think I need to change that. I have a few things I want to accomplish this summer. 1. Go camping 2. go to Montreal 3. go to six flags 4. take a weekend trip which could also knock out 1 or 2

Camping probably won't happen since I have been trying to go for the last 2 summers and I even have a nice brand new never used LLbean tent. My friends are all prissy, yes even the males, and don't want to get dirty. Montreal is a possibility but only if I convince my friend Tara to go with me since she was the only one who expressed an interest. Six flags WILL happen, because I have to get my thrill monster fed. I went to SF NE last year after not being to an amusement park in a while and I decided that I actually need it. And last but not least the weekend trip. I may have to settle for martha's vineyard seeing as only one of my friends expressed an interest in Montreal, and the rest of my friends want to do a weekend trip, caveat being- we stay in the country.

So hopefully I can, at the end of the summer, be able to account for a few things that have happened. Meanwhile this week is horrendous. I have stress plus at work, so I may have to put planning off for a few days.

WOW

2004-05-25T06:00:00.000-07:00

So, I spent my Friday- my day off mind you, enduring 5 hours at a car dealership. If you have ever bought a new car from a dealer, you know that this is the most painful experience ever...well not ever but as my friend was sitting in jury duty I thought it was pretty damn close. Before I get on with the story I will tell you what led me there in the first place.

A few weeks ago, I began to become scared at the rising gas prices....they went up like 30 cents in one day. I thought to myself "hmm, buying a hybrid might save me some money and I am getting bored of my car. So, I called a dealership to test drive a Honda civic hybrid the next morning. When I got down there, it was sold and the salesperson told me I couldn't drive it. So, instead of taking this as a sign "hello!!!! keep your car!!!!" I proceeded with some paperwork so that the dealership could procure the car for me. However, I think the two parties involved had two different things in mind. Me: "ok so they will get the car for me so I can test drive it, I am not sure I will really like it and you know it has no options, it's kinda cheaplooking, and wait, what? 93 horsepower? Am I going to have to pedal my feet on the ground?" my thoughts about the car began to decline the longer I sat there. Salesperson: "Cool, I have a buyer for my hybrid and she's gonna pay sticker because Honda is snotty and I can sell this car to anyone even someone who lives on a boat in the middle of an ocean because everyone wants a hybrid." So, I leave Honda with buyers remorse even though I didn't buy anything.

That was Wednesday. Friday, I figure I have nothing better to do than go to the Milford Saab dealer and look at some used cars. For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted a Saab. But to go back to my earlier rationale....does it have better gas mileage than my car? no, probably worse. Awesome, so I guess I will test drive a few. So the woman starts out all helpful saying things like "we want to make sure you make the best decision and get all the facts" (hmm sounds like a familiar speech..like the one I do at work everyday). Then when we are finished with the test drive, I ask her to run some numbers, and she turns into the devil.

She came to me with her first offer which was offering me 8,000 for my 2002 sentra which I looked up on the internet already and the dealer trade in worth was 10,0000. I told her It was kind of weird that the same website gave out different amounts. Then after I had practically spelled it out for her that I HAD NO MONEY TO PUT DOWN ON THE CAR, HER OFFER INCLUDED A 3,600 down payment. Hello???!!! are you retarded?? Well needless to say, she went back to her sales manager worked up something that was halfway decent and I told her I wanted the weekend to think about it. Now, if you are or ever have been in sales, that is like the kiss of death for a potential buyer to say that to you. She went through all the correct trained motions "what's holding you back? There must be something I didn't cover, blah blah blah" I cut her off only to tell her I was in sales, I know you need to make your numbers but I have accountability to other people (namely my parents for the only reason that I don't want to deal with months of bitching)So then she brings out the big guns! The sales manager appears...pulling 100$ cuts off the price out of his ass...did I change my oil regularly, will I refer a friend, will I come to the dealership to get my car serviced? well, he cut a pretty good deal, and I have always wanted a Saab....shit..they got me. I knew I had been had when I called my mom to tell her where I was and what I was doing. Surprisingly, she didn't really care...another sign that I am truly 25.

So by the end of it all I had them throw in 2 oil changes and some other fun stuff. I must say, I am pretty happy with my negotiating skills. Yeah yeah shut up I know i was duped. So now I have this beautiful car sitting in my driveway. It drives awesome and I love it. Saturday was they only day I was like "what the fuck did I do?", because anyone who knows me knows I am an impulse buyer...but a 17,000$ impulse? now I am ok with it....it's just a car....oh but it's so pretty and it has 205 horsepower...and little wipers on the headlights!!

testing

2004-05-18T08:18:00.000-07:00

Just posting to see if my commens link works...new stuff to come soon.......

Paradise Lost

2004-05-01T12:36:00.000-07:00

Ok, so it's coming to an end, almost too fast. Monday will be the end of my 10 day vacation....and also happens to be my birthday, I turn a quarter of a century old. That is kind of scaring me. When I think about it, time is going to go by really fast from now on, and in another 25 years I will be 50. Wow....I am not even what I want to be when I grow up!

In the past few years following college, I decided to make things happen for myself, finding opportunities, forcing myself into relationships and places and jobs that really didn't do much for me. At the time I guess I saw myself as at least having a job/being in a great city/having a boyfriend. But from now on, I am just going to let things happen instead of forcing them to. I am beginning to believe in fate more now than I had before. Don't get me wrong I am not going to sit on my ass and let things come to me, but I am not going to try and drastically change anything without good reason, I will let the change happen for itself.

All this comes from a very enlightening conversation I had with my friend Tara last night. She called to tell me she was "coming home". A year and a half ago, Tara moved to Pennsylvania to be with this guy she was dating. It came as a surprise to many of us. I have been on and off in conversation with her and I thought the next phone call would be to announce her engagement. But no, it was to say she broke up with said boyfriend. The most interesting thing about it was she hated where she was living, had no close friends, and was pretty much unhappy. Yet, Tara moved there to be with her boyfriend, but more so to get out of Naugatuck. She ended up deciding Naugatuck was paradise compared with where she was in Pennsylvania. I think what I got out of the whole ordeal and what I have been thinking about recently is that it isn't where you are living - you are going to be unhappy anywhere if you are unhappy with yourself and your situation. I know it's corny and trite but "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade" If Tara was truly happy with herself individually, and moved away from home for reasons other than seeing that the grass was greener, things may have worked out. When you go looking for happiness and excitement, you rarely find it.

Bunny Flogging

2004-04-09T18:45:00.001-07:00

Ok, so I was watching the news this morning while relaxing on my day off..and I was suddenly disturbed by what I was seeing on TV. Well, I have to say that happens more often than not, but anyway take a look at this. I mean really- my idea of horror as a young child would be finding out the Easter bunny wasn't real, but finding that out and seeing the bunny beaten the same day?? These kids are going to need some serious counseling. It's going to be another baby Albert phenomenon- Easter will be a traumatic event for the rest of their lives.

While we are on the subject of disturbing television, has anyone seen The Swan? The new deluded attempt from Fox to provide a social service to America? I swear, reality TV was developed by sick sociology students so they can measure the effects years from now and make a ton of money writing a book telling us how fucked up we have become. I really thought the reality fascination was on its way out but they keep developing shows. Anyway- The Swan- they take 2 whiny, fat, ugly women with a self esteem so low they actually have a member of the "Swan" team just to fix that. They take these women, give them extensive plastic surgery so no one can recognize them, and keep them in a room for 3 months with no mirrors. Then, at the end of the 3 months, they finally see themselves, and then have to compete against each other for a spot in the beauty pageant. The reason I think this show is just heinously wrong is because first they tell these women they are fat, and ugly. The attempt is then made to make them acceptable and then they are just told "oh too bad we didn't do a good enough job, you're still ugly. Try not to kill yourself on the way home, bye!" But however bad these shows are, I guess everyone loves a train wreck, you just can't peel your eyes away from the twisting metal and severed....whoops, probably shouldn't be talking about that in the wake of the recent train incidents.

Cloud 9

2004-04-03T06:23:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I never thought I would be writing these words, but- shopping in Abercrombie yesterday was the highlight of my week. You may be saying to yourself " how could it be with all of those unhelpful salespeople and wrinkled clothes?" Well, it happened as though I needed a different size of pant than the ones that were displayed on the wall. Now, every girl hates asking for a size that isn't out. It doesn't matter what gender you ask- it is still horrifying. (strangely enough I found out recently that guys have the same problem, but only when asking for small sizes?) But if it happens to be a male you are asking, it suddenly becomes much worse. As I looked around the store for a female to ask- I realized that apparently they don't work Friday nights. So, I swallow my pride and ask the preppie 20 year old to get me the largest size they carry at Abercrombie- a 12. Then...and here comes the great part....he says to me "I don't know if we have any in back, are these for you? because I really don't think you're a 12" I really didn't even know what to say, I was beside myself in joy. So, I still don't know if he was trying to make a sale or really thought I could fit into a smaller size, but I will take it either way. So I dedicate this blog to the Abercrombie Boy. Oh and as a little epilogue- I spent like an hour this morning ironing out the wrinkles in my pants. I honestly don't know what they are trying to do with that but my thought was that college girls buy the wrinkled pants so they can have the "I spent the night at some frat house and my pants were in a crumpled ball on the floor but I can put the right back on and go to class because they are supposed to be wrinkled, right?" look. Unfortunately, I can't pull that off at work, I would just look like a lazy slob, which some would argue is a correct representation of me, but not everyone needs to know.

Mushy Gushy

2004-03-09T15:27:00.000-08:00

I have spent the past few days pondering the reason for the frozen precipitation coming from the sky. It doesn't stick to the road, it doesn't stick to the grass, it doesn't do much of anything except come from the sky and make it virtually impossible to see out of my windshield on the highway. I felt like I was in space on warp speed last night with all the white flecks coming at me. I am not anti-snow, I mean yeah I would rather be sitting on a beach in the Caribbean right now, but I am anti-snow without a purpose. And it seems to be creating an annoyance tonight yet again creating slush and mush- which I have to add I love getting on my car. Speaking of mushy and gushy- I got tickets to see John Mayer next Wednesday. I am excited for it because I was supposed to be in Chicago on a business trip, but now I get to go! Yeah! And my friend Ali is equally excited- I can tell because she didn't even balk when I mentioned the highway robbery she was about to be subjected to- 50 bucks a ticket. I mean, I like John Mayer, and yeah I am going to spend the money but lets back up a minute here. A few years ago, Johnny was perfectly happy working at a gas station pumping gas into peoples cars and playing his old guitar at house parties for girls he was trying to woo. When one record exec comes along and now he feels the need to price gouge his home state not to mention Fairfield county! But, I guess it is us the sappy gushy women who love his songs that give the mark-up credibility- we can't resist those lyrics! I don't fully understand it myself, but something about the song "Your Body Is A Wonderland" makes me weak every time I hear it, god that man really knows what to tell a woman! Men have a totally different reaction to that song- cringing and possibly the precursor to vomiting because of the sickeningly sweet lyrics. After I just wrote that sentence, I realized I am definitely not going to even have a remote chance of even running into any straight men, damn! I am giving up my St. Patty's day for this too!

Third Wheel

2004-03-07T10:27:00.000-08:00

Last night I was fortunate to attend the first of what is destined to be many engagement parties. This one was a little different as I realized driving up to the million dollar house on the water in a ludicrously wealthy neighborhood. That was the first sense of being a little out of place- the second was when I walked into a room filled with suits and formal dresses. I decided to put that aside in favor of another obvious fact: I was possibly the only single person in the room. I guess we know were getting old when our Saturdays are consumed by looking for the perfect Waterford crystal picture frame to gift at the next pre-marital celebration we attend. Since when did my friends turn in beer pong and saturday nights at the bar for wedding registries? And their favorite sport is comparing the size of engagement rings? It's not that I am not extremely happy for these people, I only hope that I can participate in these activities in the near future, but it just happened so fast. I guess I have to face the fact that we're not in college anymore.

In the beginning.......

2004-03-05T19:14:00.000-08:00

So, basically I am creating a blog because I am jealous of all the people that I know who have one- so I felt I should have one too. Not like I feel as though my life is so interesting that someone would want to read about it or opinions on random things, but hey I will give I a shot and see how it goes. I am also going to hold myself to updating this every week, although, I do know myself pretty well and I will tell you now it probably won't happen- but since work consists pretty much of surfing the net, eating, and IM'ing, I might -just out of pure captivity to the computer- be able to stay current. So stay tuned and enjoy!