5 (surprising) things you need to know about homeschooling high school ~
Written by Shawna Wingert of Different by Design Learning

For seven years now, I have been sharing our homeschool journey here on Simple Homeschool.

My oldest was eleven at the time. My youngest was eight.

It’s been a wonderful, crazy, joyful, stressful, sometimes devastating, sometimes rewarding, always worthwhile seven years.

Today, I find myself helping one child graduate high school, and the other prepare to begin it. My oldest only has six weeks left in his educational journey with me. My youngest has six weeks plus the next four high school years.

Prefer to listen instead?

I think because my oldest is preparing for life after high school homeschool, I find myself reflecting on what I know now about the high school years (that I never would’ve thought possible back when we started).

The truth is, most of the past four years feel like blur. They went by so much faster than his younger years homeschooling. They went by faster, but they were also, frankly, so much more fun.

Our days have became equally interesting for all of us. Because they are older, their interests more closely resemble my own. Our discussions about current events, history, and art are far more engaging than I thought possible.

It’s hard to think about it coming to an end, at least with one of them.

With this in mind, I wanted to share the things I wish I’d known about homeschooling high school before we were actually homeschooling high school. If I could go back in time to the mom I was seven years ago, this is what I would tell her.

5 Things You Need To Know About Homeschooling High School

1. Homeschooling High School Doesn’t Have To Be Totally Different From The Younger Years.

When we were preparing for my oldest to begin his freshman year, I thought it would be totally different.

I mean, this is high school right? Doesn’t it need to be more rigorous and less, well, fun?

Turns out, my son’s high school years looked a lot like every other year: interest-led, hands-on, project based learning.

At the end of his senior year, I can honestly say that it worked. We had already figured out how he learns best. I am so glad we didn’t change that to fit some idea of how high school is supposed to be!

2. Don’t Be Afraid Of High School Transcripts and Course Credits.

I was terrified of the transcript at first. It felt formal and threatening.

Turns out, it wasn’t really that hard. In fact, after I figured out how I wanted to do it, I actually looked forward to completing his transcript each semester. It felt like an observable measure of progress (something that can be really hard to come by as a homeschool mom!).

This post by Kara, really helped me relax about my son’s transcript.

3. Your Role Will Change Over The Four Years (and that’s OK).

I was a little taken aback by how quickly my role began to change as my son progressed through the high school years.

I went from being the one in charge of all of things to the one who needs to buy all the things and drive him to all the things. It was a little disconcerting at first, but it was exactly what needed to happen. My son developed a sense of engagement in his learning and independence that we had never seen before.

It’s worth being the accountant and the driver, instead of the teacher sometimes.

4. Your Child Will Have More Opinions (and that’s OK).

Of course it’s okay, right?

I know this to be true in my heart, but I can tell you that when my son had a very strong opinion about applying to four year colleges (he wanted to, I thought it was not a great fit for him) – I missed the years of him pretty much learning the way I thought he should learn.

Homeschooling high school is also just parenting a high schooler. It includes letting go when it’s time (cue tears).

5. The Memories Are Irreplaceable.

Oh my goodness, this one also makes me tear up a little, but it’s true.

The memories we have created together, especially as my son has become more and more of an adult, are precious to me in a way that is quite different from the younger years.

I am not sure I can put it all into words, but this is what I know – these high school years are when homeschooling and being with my kids all the time really started to get good.

I wouldn’t trade the memories we’ve made these past four years for anything.

There is so much more I could share.

I could tell you how impressed I was with my son’s college essays. I could tell you how worried I am about the giant step he is taking in heading off to college in the fall.

But I won’t. What I want to tell you is this – homeschooling high school has been one of the greatest experiences of my life and I am so grateful to be able to do it all over again with my youngest.

Maybe check back in four years. I will let you know how it goes.

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

A few weeks ago an issue with one of my children kept me up late into the night. You know, one of those little things that you can’t quite figure out.

After pondering, praying, and a bit of crying, I eventually reached out to a friend and homeschooling mentor.

In just a sentence or two I outlined the problem and asked if she had any advice. And in one sentence she solved it for me:

“What’s your child’s love language?” 

Hmmmm. Love languages? I had that filed back in my brain somewhere as it relates to marriage, but I had never paid it much attention when it comes to my children.

Would you rather listen to this post?

And after some research into my child’s love language and a little attention in that area, this so-called “issue” pretty much vanished. Vanished, I tell you!

So what is a love language and how can I determine my child’s?

Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell articulated the five love languages years ago. They write: “Every child (like every adult) expresses and receives love best through one of five communication styles.”

We want to express unconditional love in each of these ways, of course.

But just like each child has a different personality, they also have a unique love language. Figuring it out can make a huge difference in the health of your homeschool.

I found this online quiz (recommended for ages 9+) invaluable to figuring out my kids’ love language preference–Trishna, Jonathan, and Elijah enjoyed it, too!

Here is an overview of the 5 love languages of children and ways we can apply them to our homeschool lives.

The 5 love languages of homeschooling

Physical Touch

A child who best receives love through physical touch desperately needs hugs, kisses, and pats on the shoulder. Not having enough can leave them feeling that they’ve done something wrong and that you are not pleased with them.

Ideas for homeschooling and teaching this child:

• let them sit on your lap for lessons or stories
• give them a back massage break for five minutes if they reach a challenge in their work
• for older kids or teens, give high fives and pats on the shoulder
• make sure to reconnect with physical touch after disciplining or difficult moments
• sit close while watching television or a movie
• roughhouse (tickles, wrestling, chasing) with littles who enjoy it

Words of Affirmation

Our culture has lost the art of giving affirmation. Words spoken well do not damage our kids, but fill them with confidence.

They powerfully communicate love, and even more so to a child (or adult) whose main love language is words of affirmation. (Hand raised here–it’s mine!) 

Ideas for homeschooling and teaching this child:

• take many opportunities throughout the day to encourage. “I love watching you work hard on your ….” or “I could see you being a great doctor” (or whatever career aspiration they’re into)
• leave a surprise note for a child to find under their pillow or in unexpected places (like when they open their math book)
• create a special loving phrase that is unique to you and this child
• in (or after) a difficult moment, share what you love about him or her
• speak out something positive about this child in front of others (spouse, neighbors, etc)

Receiving Gifts

Reading the chapter on gifts in The Five Love Languages for Children book gave me a broader concept behind the definition of a “gift.” It doesn’t mean shopping at the mall or spending tons of money. Instead, it suggested framing even the “essentials” I provide in a more special way.

For example, I usually buy new clothes for the kids in the fall. Instead of just bringing them out of the shopping bag when I got home, this year I placed each child’s new clothes inside a pillowcase and stuck a bow on the top with a quick note. Then I put the pillowcases in their rooms after they were asleep, so they woke in the morning to new clothes.

Ideas for homeschooling and teaching this child:

• pick up a rock, shell, or cool object from a nature walk–then place it in a surprising location for them to find with a note from you
• don’t just buy “homeschool supplies” – take a minute to wrap them up and present the gift in a fun way
• bring home a small treat once in a while when you’re out grocery shopping–something that shows you were thinking of your child
• make their favorite meal and let them know you did it to bless them
• involve your child in the purchases you need to make for them: “We need to buy you a pair of winter boots – let’s pick them out together!”

Quality Time

Two of my three children’s primary love language is quality time, meaning I have my work cut out for me in spreading myself around! I feel like I’m with my kids all the time as a homeschooling mother, but that doesn’t mean it comes across to my quality time needing kids.

If I’m busy or distracted, it doesn’t register in their emotional bank accounts. We don’t need to do anything special, but even making dinner together while chatting goes a long way to keeping those love tanks filled.

Ideas for homeschooling and teaching this child:

• make eye contact
• put away screens and other distractions when with them
• include them in your errands – this child will enjoy what other kids might find boring
• sit together and look at family photo albums
• don’t send them to work on all their assignments independently, even as they get older
• hang out without any agenda

Acts of Service

Acts of service doesn’t mean doing everything for a child and never having him take responsibility.

Instead it means recognizing that through your service this child receives your love. When you know this is a child’s main love language, you can put more effort in blessing them with the duties they struggle with most.

Ideas for homeschooling and teaching this child:

• don’t send your child off to work alone on their most difficult subject. Tackle it together.
• surprise your kid with a special breakfast on a regular weekday
• when your child is sick, show your love to them by the extra attention you offer
• try to respond quickly when this child asks for help
• every once in a while take over a child’s normal responsibilities (folding the laundry, cleaning his room, etc.)

Want to speak your child’s language?

This post barely scratches the surface on this topic, and if you’d like to go deeper make sure you check out The Five Love Languages of Children.

Reading this book showed me yet another reason why I’m thankful to be a homeschooling parent–the extra hours we spend together each day give me even more time to get to know my children deeply, and be able to demonstrate my unconditional love in the ways that speak volumes to them.

And an unexpected upside? By loving our children well, we also teach them how to love – a gift that keeps giving for generations.

“Accept the children the way we accept trees—with gratitude, because they are a blessing—but do not have expectations or desires. You don’t expect trees to change, you love them as they are.”
~ Isabel Allende

This post contains affiliate links, which means I receive a small commission from some of the links on this page.

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what you need most!

Instead of focusing on giving our children a complete education, or a perfect education (neither of which are necessary or possible), let us strive to awaken in them a love of learning. If we can help them to develop an attitude of lifelong learning, we will have done enough.” ~ Suzie Andres, Homeschooling with Gentleness

There’s a homeschooling mom who lives in my head, and she is simply THE best.

She does all the things and does them well. As a result, her kids progress in a straight, forward-moving line. She is organized, unfazed by emotion, doubt, outward circumstance, or moody children.

She is my hero, though I also despise her.

I am not that woman. Oh every once in a while, I come close. The stars align and the inspiration flows…for a few hours, maybe a day or two. But inevitably real life signals to me from the sidelines: “Remember me?!”, and here we go again…back into the realm of imperfections and inadequacies.

Yet incredibly, even then I’m still on track.

When real life comes along with tough times, it’s not THE best I give to my children, but it’s MY best all the same.

Are you crossing a field or climbing a wall?

Photo by Nicholas_T

My friend Lisa Grace Byrne once described this distinction in a way I could beautifully visualize. She explained that in certain seasons of life it’s like we’re walking through a flat, grassy field. We cover a lot of ground that way, making measurable progress one step at a time.

In other seasons, we reach the borders of the field to find a steep, rock wall towering before us. Turning back isn’t an option, and the only way to continue moving forward is to climb–one slow, shaky grip and foothold after another.

It’s still progress, of course, but it looks nothing like the grassy field.

The best we can offer our families in the meadows of life varies drastically to the best we bring when we’re scaling walls.

For the past couple of weeks I’ve been climbing, and I know I’m not the only one.

Your personal best

Photo by Adam Kubalica

God hasn’t called us to be successful, just faithful.” ~ Mother Teresa

Your personal best looks different every day, every hour.

It looks different if you’re facing a chronic health condition or recently had a newborn, if you just started homeschooling and you’re still finding your way, if you have a child with special needs or a teen with an attitude, or if you’re dealing with the loss of someone you love.

We’re not called to give up when things get hard, but we do have to play the cards we’ve been dealt – whatever that looks like in our unique circumstances.

You know inside that what you’re offering really is the best you have to give, however inadequate it may seem. If it is, what else can you do? Why not fall into the arms of grace and rest?

What’s your other choice?

What to remember

When you worry about tomorrow, you are, in effect, saying that today is not worth enjoying. That is not a message I want to send to my children.”
~ Sally Clarkson, Seasons of a Mother’s Heart

In rock wall-climbing seasons, I return to my favorite homeschooling books. I look through where I’ve underlined or written “Wow” in the margins. I feast on truth instead of self-doubt. I’ve scattered a few of those quotes throughout this post, to pay the inspiration forward.

It also helps me to remember, in times like these, that all conscientious parents feel a weight of insecurity and responsibility – no matter where their kids go to school.

One time I wrote out my deepest fears for each of my kid’s educations. Then I wrote out what my fears would likely be if my children were in traditional school. I found it incredibly freeing to realize that doubts and fears would still exist, though the specifics might differ.

Take a moment to remind yourself of all that your personal best, as limited as it is, has already offered to your kids. What are you giving them by homeschooling or by being their parent, that they wouldn’t have without you? 

Perhaps you began homeschooling because of bullying, and now your son is safe from daily torments. Perhaps the classroom was overstimulating for your sensitive daughter, now she’s slowly returning to the happy child you remember.

It doesn’t have to be that dramatic, though. Your personal best also includes your natural strengths, the things you’re so good at you no longer count because they seem “normal.”

But normal for you isn’t normal for everyone – don’t disregard those gifts. Instead build your homeschool around them when you can, letting your best stamp personality across your home:

To become peaceful and happy, you’ve got to figure out what’s true about you. What creates an environment in which you can thrive? How can you work with your own innate strengths and weaknesses so that your homeschool will be happy and humming, even if you never construct a sugar cube pyramid or help your kids put together a single diorama?”
~ Sarah Mackenzie, Teaching from Rest

THE best homeschooling writer (who also lives in my head – it’s so crowded in there at times!!) would offer you these words in a few well-organized bullet points, complete with a lovely, colorful printable that she designed herself.

But MY personal best, today, is to send out these scribbles with a prayer for each person who reads them.

When we really consider it, isn’t that what we need most? Not an expert who knows it all, but someone to walk alongside us, to say “it is hard sometimes, you’re right.”

Someone to encourage us to keep right on climbing.

Come to think of it, isn’t that the type of teacher our kids need, too?

And if that’s the case, miraculously our broken best might just be THE best after all.

Then it dawned on me. It wasn’t the meager five loaves and two fish that fed the crowds, but their offering combined with the blessing of Jesus. And Jesus was telling me to give him my five loaves and two fish, my insignificant efforts, and he would bless them, and the needs of my family would be met.”
~ Holly Pierlot, A Mother’s Rule of Life

A Little House Virtual Field Trip ~

As I’ve written before, the Little House books have influenced my life since I first read them as a little girl. I’ve read the entire series several times and have always had a dream – a dream that this year is going to come true!

I’ve always wanted to walk where Laura walked, see where she lived, and be inspired as a family along the way. Well, this summer it’s happening!

In June we’ll be heading west as a family – not in a covered wagon, but a minivan – to the Little House sites in Wisconsin, Minnesota, and South Dakota on a massive road trip.

I’m beyond thrilled to have the opportunity to do this as a family, but then I thought – why not take you guys along with me?

Of course, you won’t all fit in the minivan, but why not put together a virtual field trip so you can take your kids to Laura’s homes from your dining room or coffee table?

Ready? Let’s go!

A Little House virtual field trip

Stop 1. Pepin, Wisconsin

Books written about this site: Little House in the Big Woods

Head to Little House in the Big Woods on Google Earth

Laura was born in the Big Woods in 1867, and she describes this first childhood home in Little House in the Big Woods. The Ingalls lived here twice, and the memories Laura shares in the book actually take place after they returned from the Kansas prairie.

If you look at the satellite view, you’ll see that only a few trees remain, but there’s a replica cabin located at the site and a picnic area to hang out in.

Take a tour of Little House, Pepin:

(Click here for the video if you can’t see it below.)

Learn more about Pepin:

• About the site – Wikipedia
• Read the highway marker at the site.
• More photos of Laura’s birthplace
• Laura Ingalls Wilder Museum, Pepin

Stop 2. Independence, Kansas

Books written about this site: Little House on the Prairie

Head to Little House on the Prairie on Google Earth

Laura’s family moved here in 1869 and settled on land belonging to the Osage Indians, having received word that the land would soon be available for settlers. After a year of persevering through hardships and dealing with tensions between the Native Americans and settlers, the Ingalls were forced to leave Kansas.

Today a replica cabin sits on the site, furnished the way Laura described in the book. Pa’s hand dug well stands nearby as well.

Take a tour of the Laura’s little house as it looks today:

(Click here for the video if you can’t see it below.)

Learn more about the Kansas site:

• Read the marker at this site.
• More photos of the site near Independence.
• Kansas travel – Little House

Stop 3. Walnut Grove, Minnesota

Books written about this site: On the Banks of Plum Creek

Head to Walnut Grove on Google Earth (scroll up a little to see the original dugout site)

After leaving Kansas and spending a few years back in Wisconsin, the Ingalls moved to Minnesota in 1874 and lived in a sod house for the winter. Pa eventually built a house on the property (which Laura called “the wonderful house,” as it was the largest she had lived in at that point).

Both houses are gone, but Plum Creek–ah, that’s still there! I’m looking forward to taking off my shoes and wading in it, just like Laura did.

The site of the dugout has been marked, and Walnut Grove has a museum dedicated to Laura and the time period. The church bell that Pa donated his shoe money for hangs at a church in town as well.

Tour the site of plum creek and Laura’s home:

(Click here for the video if you can’t see it below.)

And take a walk on the banks of plum creek:

(Click here for the video if you can’t see it below.)

Learn more about the Minnesota site:

• Laura Ingalls Wilder Museum, Walnut Grove

Stop 4. De Smet, South Dakota

Books written about this site: By the Shores of Silver Lake, The Long Winter, Little Town on the Prairie, These Happy Golden Years, The First Four Years

Head to Little House in De Smet on Google Earth

After suffering disappointments in both Minnesota and Iowa, where the Ingalls lived for a short time, the family decided to move further west so Pa could work for the railroad as it expanded through South Dakota. This ended up being their final move until Laura, Mary, Carrie, and Grace left home as adults.

De Smet is the site of the Long Winter, the site of Laura’s courtship with Almanzo Wilder, and the start of their married life together.

Tour the Little Town on the Prairie:

( Click here for the video if you can’t see it below.)

Stop 5. Malone, New York

Books written about this site: Farmer Boy

Head to Almanzo’s childhood home on Google Earth

Almanzo was born on this farm in 1857, and Laura shares his childhood story beautifully in her book Farmer Boy. His family lived here for nearly two decades, until crop failures forced them to move west to Minnesota.

Almanzo’s original home still stands, and has been restored as much as possible to the time period in which the book was written.

Tour Almanzo’s farm:

(Click here for the video if you can’t see it below.)

Stop 6. Mansfield, Missouri

Head to Rocky Ridge Farm on Google Earth

All the Little House books were written from this location!

Laura, Almanzo, and Rose moved here in 1894 looking for a fresh start in farming. They transformed the rocky land they purchased bit by bit and spent nearly 20 years building the white farmhouse that is now a museum honoring the family’s legacy.

Years ago Steve and I had the chance to visit Rocky Ridge Farm on a road trip before having children, and I loved seeing Pa’s fiddle and Laura’s kitchen and parlor.

I’m standing at the site of the “Rock House,” which Rose (Laura/Almanzo’s daughter) built as a gift to her parents down the street from Rocky Ridge Farm. After living there a few years, they said it was “too fancy” for them and that they were homesick for the farm – so they moved back down the street!

Tour the Little House on Rocky Ridge Farm:

(Click here for the video if you can’t see it below.)

Learn more about Rocky Ridge farm:

• Laura Ingalls Wilder home and museum
• Laura Ingalls Wilder house
• Rocky Ridge Farm – Tripadvisor

I hope you enjoyed this Little House virtual field trip out west with Laura and me – a special thanks to Laura Ingalls Wilder, Frontier Girl for all of the wonderful video clips!

Head here to read all Jamie’s posts re: Little House – including the one after we returned from our trip!

“It has been years since I beat eggs with a fork or cleaned a kerosene lamp. Many things have changed since then, but the truths we learned from our parents and the principles they taught us are always true. They can never change.”~ Laura Ingalls Wilder, reflecting on her famous series

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what you need most!

How decision fatigue is wearing down your homeschool
~ Written by Sarah Mackenzie of Read-Aloud Revival

It’s 11am. The twins are emptying the tea cupboard onto the floor, the 2 year-old is fussing, and I’m standing at the fridge, trying to decide what to make for lunch. Just then my 11 year-old walks into the room. “What should I be doing right now?”

As the volume of the din steadily rises, the 9 year-old whizzes past me, flinging his math book onto the kitchen counter and tossing a comment about making a break for the basement. Somebody pulls on my pant leg and I rub my head.

“Mom? What am I supposed to be do
ing?” She’s getting more persistent.

“I… don’t know,” I sigh, exasperated, “Just… we’ll figure it out later.”

Sound familiar? It’s a classic case of homeschooling mama decision fatigue, and I can predict it’s arrival in my house (and yours!) like clockwork every day of the week.

How decision fatigue is wearing down your homeschool

By now enough studies have proven that making decisions is exhausting, and as a homeschooling mom, you’re probably making a whole lot more of them than you realize.

My friend Pam came to this conclusion not too long ago. She was recently trying out my spiral notebook hack and said that as she sat and wrote out those checklists, she made about 20 different decisions that she hadn’t at all anticipated.

“These were 20 decisions that were now already made and did not have to be made in the heat of the moment while we were doing school,” she said.

Here’s why I think those spiral notebooks work so well: They force us to make decisions ahead of time, before we’re knee-deep in a busy homeschool day, thereby reducing our in-the-moment stress and frustration. We don’t have to decide every little detail in the throes of a hot moment because most of it has already been decided. [Exhale.]

So how does a homeschooling mom actually combat decision fatigue?

If we have a million decisions to make each day, how do we set ourselves up for success? I’m pretty sure I can’t avoid decision fatigue entirely, but here are a few ways I’m minimizing the number of decisions I make in the heat of a homeschool day.

1. Write out assignments the night before.

I’m currently doing this using simple spiral notebooks, and I can’t believe how much more productive we’ve been in our little homeschool since implementing them. I’ve come to realize a hard truth about myself: when the house is loud (and it is always is) and the day is long (and it often is), I tend to default to, “That’s enough for today. Class dismissed.”

It’s hard for me to be objective about what a reasonable amount of work is when I’m being bombarded with requests for crackers and help over a grammar lesson.

Writing out each child’s lessons the night before has made all the difference.

2. Make a schedule and (try to) stick with it for a set amount of time.

Choose a length of time to make your “term,” if that’s helpful, and then just be as consistent as you can be for its duration. You aren’t committing to a whole year or even a quarter- just try 4 or 6 weeks!

A schedule is just another way of narrowing choices, and narrowing choices reduces decision fatigue. Once your term is over, adjust your schedule as necessary- you’ve given it a fair shot by this point, and it very well may need a little mindful tweaking.

3. Put ideas into a queue.

To counteract my incredibly impulsive nature, I’ve started a discipline of recording ideas into a place I call “The Idea Shelf.”

Stop laughing, it’s a real thing. It’s just a sheet of paper in my notebook, really, but it’s a very, very important sheet of paper. Here’s how it works: Whenever I get the urge to change directions or toss one curriculum in favor of another, I write it down on my Idea Shelf page first.

I write the idea and the date it burst into my brain, and then I let it sit. If I wait a week before doing anything with it, I end up saving myself a lot of headaches (and often a lot of money, if my brilliant idea was buying something new!).

The things that really do need to change- that math curriculum that’s just not working, or the grammar book that is about to melt my 12 year old into a puddle of woe- are still a good idea a week later.

If it’s just some bright shiny curriculum I’ve seen from someone else (and must! try! right! away!), I may not feel so exuberant about it a week later and can cross it off entirely.

4. Encourage your kids to eat their frogs first thing.

There’s an old saying that if the first thing you do each morning is to eat a frog, it’s probably the worst thing you’ll do all day.

Basically, it tells us that tackling the most challenging task of the day can free up a lot of mental space and energy and help us get more done.

Your kids are at just as much risk for decision fatigue as you are. I tend to let my kids choose which order to tackle their daily assignments, but I encourage them to choose the hardest/most loathsome task first (math, anyone?).

It can be so freeing to know that your hardest task is already done for the day by 9 or 10 am, and you may find your kids making better (more cheerful) decisions if they get their frog swallowed bright and early.

What have you done to reduce decision fatigue in your homeschool?

* Click here for more of Sarah’s inspirational writing on SH.

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what you need most!

Shutting down the homeschool fight (before it even starts) ~
Written by Kara S. Anderson of Where the Beauty Is

We were invited to our new neighbors’ house for a backyard movie night – and I knew it was going to come up.

Because we’re homeschoolers.

And he’s a public school teacher.

There was going to be that question – that “why?” that strikes fear in our hearts, because if you’re like me, you’ve been down that road, and you’ve gotten smacked head-on by an 18-wheeler of judgment and misunderstanding.

My semi-truck moment came several years ago with a man my husband knows crashed my mom’s birthday celebration. (Truly.)

“So why do you homeschool?” he asked.

We were new to homeschooling, and so stupidly, I tried honesty.

(My son was an early reader, but had little patience for the letter-of-the-day worksheets so loved by his pre-school. Rather than send him to a place where he was just bound to get in trouble …)

“Well, my son was an early reader …” I started.

And before I could explain further, the man pounced: “So was David Koresh.”

Seriously? For clarification’s sake, I want to point out that he was wrong. (I think he had confused his cult leaders.)

I learned an important lesson that night, though – that sometimes, a heartfelt rainbows-and-cupcakes monologue isn’t the best approach when somebody wants to pick a homeschool fight.

Here are a couple of things that work better:

Shutting down the homeschool fight (before it even starts)

1. “Oh, I don’t like to debate my family’s choices.”

This one works on everything from cloth diapering to why your child can’t watch PG-13 movies with Grandma. I find it most effective when stated in a very relaxed way, because I’m not looking for a fight — I’m looking to be all done with that particular topic.

“Oh, I don’t like to debate my family’s choices,” I’ll say with a wave of my hand, as if I’m incapable of getting worked up.

Nope, I’m quietly strong and graceful. I am Princess Diana and the Dalai Lama.

And I am changing the subject to the weather now.

2. I focus my attention on educating my children, not strangers.

I like this one at the grocery store, but I rarely say it aloud. I do repeat it to myself, while smiling politely at whoever is standing in front of me questioning our life and everything that defines us.

Because sometimes it is worth it to make a point, or to defend your choices, and sometimes, you just really need milk and bananas.

3. “We enjoy it.”

I know. This seems too simple. You need to hit folks with more reasoning, right?

No. Because reasoning only works on the reasonable, and then only sometimes.

When I tell someone that we LIKE homeschooling, it immediately shuts down most potential negative responses.

Because expressing your own joy:

• isn’t judging their choices, which can make people feel defensive.
• isn’t an attempt to educate them, which only works if they are open to new ideas.
• isn’t indicating that you are up for a debate, or that you want to continue that particular line of questioning.

Why do we homeschool?

Because we love it. Thank you for asking.

Perhaps at this point you are wondering what happened during that backyard movie night. Ready?

Absolutely nothing.

Which brings me to my last thought:

4. Cool it, John Wayne.

Don’t go into every interaction looking for a fight. Most people who ask about homeschooling are just making conversation, and the entire time you are carefully constructing a well thought out answer, they are trying to remember their grocery list or their brain is otherwise consumed with their own business.

Some are genuinely curious, but most don’t want an argument. (And even if they do, disagreements are one thing, but fights often aren’t worth the time and energy, so choose wisely.)

My neighbor the teacher doesn’t seem to care whether we homeschool our kids, because really, it doesn’t affect him in any way. I could ask him why he chooses to teach public school, but the truth is, that doesn’t affect me.

He’s nice to my kids, and patient with my poor landscaping. He’s a good neighbor and we’re blessed to have him.

So instead of entering into a verbal sparring match about our differences, we found a lot of common ground that night, while watching a movie about creatures from different planets learning to get along.

Really.

Our families laughed as we indulged in sugary snacks, and I think it’s safe to say that we accepted each other, despite being on slightly different paths.

And while the kettle corn and ice cream were great, I think that the quiet acceptance we found that night might have been the sweetest treat of all.

* Find more of Kara’s inspirational writing on SH here!

Do you ever try shutting down the homeschool fight (before it even starts)? What works for you?

Are homeschooled kids weird?
~ Written by Sarah Small

Admit it. Somewhere deep in your heart, you’ve wondered, especially if you’ve ever heard someone say, “I know a homeschooling family at my church. Those kids are weird!”

Prefer to listen instead? Look for Episode 86 of the podcast!

Haven’t we all asked ourselves: Are homeschooled kids weird? Will my kids be weird?

Weird. Normal. We all have our own definitions. You might say, “I don’t want my kids to be ‘normal’ by today’s standards!” And you might also say, “I don’t want my kid to be labeled as a weirdo!”

But here’s the thing:

All kids are weird.

That’s normal. I mean, when I was a kid—in the privacy of my own home—I stuck black olives on all my fingers and ate them off, one by one. That’s weird, right? Of course I didn’t eat black olives at public school, but if I had, I would not have eaten them off my fingers one by one.

I would have known that was weird because some kid would have announced to the entire cafeteria: “THAT GIRL IS EATING OLIVES OFF HER FINGERS LIKE A WEIRDO!” Even those kids that had a secret desire to emulate me would have shriveled and mocked me. I would have been forever known as Olive Girl.

Here’s what’s different about homeschoolers. At my homeschooling co-op, if one kid were eating black olives off his fingers, I can guarantee that the rest of them would be doing it within seconds. Because weird is good. Weird is normal.

I eat black olives like a “normal” person now, although my husband would argue that no “normal” person even eats olives. But you know what? Without any coaching from me, I swear, my youngest son does this.

Because 99.9% of kids (totally made-up statistic) are innately weird, creative, silly, funny, uninhibited, and terribly clever—if they are allowed to be.

I remember distinctly a day when my firstborn son was in kindergarten in public school. He wanted to wear his kilt and sheepskin vest to school. “Sweetie, you can’t wear a kilt to school,” I told him. I hated to tell him why, but I had to.

“You can only wear your kilt at home. Kids don’t wear kilts to school.”

I squashed his weirdness. I had to, for his sake.

Fast forward several years, when this same kid was 13 and had been homeschooled since we pulled him out of public school after first grade. One day we found, stuffed in the back of a closet, a llama-hair poncho that my husband once brought back from South America.

My son was ecstatic! For months he wore that poncho everywhere, including our homeschooling co-op. He also wore John Lennon-type sunglasses and t-shirts with ties.

And yep, I’m sure the kids thought he was weird. But they didn’t care because they were weird, too.

My son has graduated college now. I asked him recently what some of the best aspects about homeschooling were. One of the things he said was this:

“I had the chance to be a quirky, weird, and creative kid without intense ridicule. I was then able to develop that all into socially acceptable quirkiness as a college student.”

“Socially acceptable quirkiness” usually translates to “outside-the-box” thinking. What is one of the top qualities that employers in most fields look for in employees? Innovation and creativity—outside-the-box thinkers.

Childhood weirdos.

Homeschooling allows kids to be weird when it’s okay to be weird.

As your kids get older, chances are they will learn to corral their quirks and develop into creative young adults who refuse to accept mediocrity and challenge the status quo.

I think we need more weirdos in our world.

So ‘fess up. Have you ever wondered it, too: Are homeschooled kids weird? Do you harbor a secret fear that people will think your kids are weird?

* Read more of Sarah’s homeschooling tips and stories from over the years

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

Create Your Own Math Playground (UPDATED!) ~
Written by Jamie C. Martin of Simple Homeschool

I’ve been revisiting a series I first wrote more than ten years ago (how is that possible?!) all about math—sharing the non-traditional path our family chose, particularly in our early homeschooling years.

This time, though, you’ll also hear the reflections of my older, wiser homeschool self, looking back to see how my early ideals have held up (or not) over time.

Together we’ve been exploring math through a fresh lens, pausing to ask: Why do we approach this subject the way we do? Could there be other meaningful options worth considering?

For this post, you’ll find my updated thoughts in navy blue, and I’ve fully updated both lists of games & toys. This is the final update in this math series, now complete!

If you’ve missed any of the others, you can find them here: 

Other UPDATES in this math series:
* A different way to look at math
* Out of the box math inspiration
* Read your way to a love of math:
75 titles for ages 4-12

Much of the research we’ve peeked at suggests it’s possible to wait until around age 10, give or take, to introduce formal math. (I’m not saying this is the only way to approach it, by the way! It’s one of many options.)

If you decide to follow this advice, however, what should you do up until that age?

I’m glad you asked. Why not create your own math playground?

Create Your Own Math Playground

Here are a couple of ways to approach it:

Option 1: Less Structure

In the early elementary years of homeschooling, look for ways to bring math into your lives when the opportunity naturally arises (and it will!). Point out patterns in nature and the beauty of God’s creation. Discuss it with a sense of wonder and possibility.

If your child enjoys games, follow her lead in playing some of the ones listed below – and read aloud some of the books I’ve mentioned in this post. As your child gets older, you may transition to option two below (or not, depending on you and your kids).

Option 2: More Structure

Let’s say you must document your child’s math for your state or country’s home education laws. Does that mean you can’t approach math this way? (I get this question a lot!)

I don’t think it means that at all. Simply apply these ideas with a bit more structure and document what you’ve done as needed.

Maybe you decide to set aside 15-30 minutes each weekday, three times a week, or whatever suits you – making it your “math time.”

Create a routine if that works best for you: read one math book or one chapter of Life of Fred (answering the questions aloud is fine, unless you need them written for proof of study), play a math game, and end with a Bedtime Math problem.

Switch it up when you or your child need a break or get bored with the routine. Now that you have an idea of how to play with math, let’s get an idea of what to play with!

Below you’ll find an updated list of popular math games and toys that I’ve spent hours putting together!

Feel free to bookmark this post so you can come back to it as needed. If you add 1-2 items each year, over time you’ll create your own math playground with ease.

Math Games

Let’s be straight up about games for a second: They’re great for learning, but young kids can seriously stink at losing. This seems to get better with age and depends on their personality, but don’t force something that makes you all miserable!

In our home I’ve found it works a bit better if I play one-on-one with a child (as opposed to siblings squaring off against each other).

^ Okay, an updated confessional: I did not have a love-hate relationship with board games in our homeschool. I had a like-hate. I liked them sometimes, and other times they made me hate my life. #honest

This meant that all the excited talk about gameschooling (and how fun it could make learning) inadvertently made me feel guilty.

What was I doing wrong? How come this wasn’t fun? And what was wrong with my kids that they couldn’t handle losing, and that one game gone wrong could destroy our entire day?

Doing games one-on-one helped some, which is why I recommended it here in the original post…but it wasn’t a guarantee. I have one twenty-something who I still can’t play games with!

Like anything else, explore the options to see what’s out there and then, as the expert on your homeschool, choose (or don’t choose) what works (or doesn’t work) for you!

And the upside, now I have one young adult who loves playing games…and occasionally we’ll have other siblings join in too with more success.

So keep in mind it isn’t now or never. Maybe games aren’t your family’s thing right now, but maybe in a decade and a half they might be!

Also on a practical note: Check your public library for math games! Ours started having these available for checkout over the past few years.

10 Top Math Games for Ages 4-9 (Updated!)

Those marked with an asterix * at the beginning are Martin family favorites.

1 – * Sum Swamp: Ages 4+, addition/subtraction (Just the sight of this gameboard hits me with such a wave of nostalgia that it makes my stomach hurt! True story: I gave this away to a dear homeschool friend of mine and then asked for it back.)

2 – Tiny Polka Dot: Ages 4+, counting, basic arithmetic

3 – Zingo 1-2-3: Ages 4+, number recognition, basic arithmetic

4 – * 4 Way Countdown: Ages 5+, basic math facts (Just the fact it’s wooden made me feel all Waldorf-y and like I must be doing something right. lol)

5 – Monopoly Junior: Ages 5+, money value

6 – * Money Bags: Ages 6+, coin identification/money awareness (Another game board that still gives me funny feelings, even though we passed it on to another family – and let them keep it this time!)

7 – Math Dice Jr: Ages 6+, basic math facts

8 – Quirkle: Ages 6+; pattern recognition

9 – Rat a Tat Cat: Ages 6+; strategy, memory, addition

10 – No Stress Chess: Ages 7+; (I am putting this on my wish list now because I never learned how to play and have always wanted to! I guess we’re never too old for games.)

10 Top Math Games for Tweens/Teens (Updated!)

1 – 7 Wonders: Players calculate how combinations of cards and resources multiply point values

2 – 24 Game: Use the cards to make the number 24 (Great for reviewing math facts; 2 versions available – single or double digits)

3 – Gravity Maze: logic/problem solving; can be played solo (I’m a sucker for any games with marbles!)

4 – Karma Card Game: forming/recognizing patterns (Recommended by a college math professor)

5 – Monopoly Deal: The fun of monopoly without taking hours!

6 – Prime Climb: multiplication/division/factors

7 – Rummikub: constantly add and manipulate number tiles to create or extend sets and runs

8 – Splendor: Arithmetic, sequencing, and cost-benefit calculation

9 – Who Knows Math and Finance Better? – a quiz style card game

10 – * Yahtzee: great for mental calculations (We still use the same one I had in childhood!)

10 Top Math Toys

Those marked with an asterix * at the beginning are Martin family favorites.

You have a ton of math toys in your home already. Don’t overlook the obvious: a ruler, measuring tape, compass, dominoes, beans for counting, and your kitchen measuring cups.

And it goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway: You don’t need any of the below or the above to homeschool “right.” You’re already enough as you are.

These are just options for fun or for holiday/birthday wish lists! I hope you enjoy getting to create your own math playground that’s unique to you and yours.

1 – Base Ten Starter Blocks

2 – * Calendar/Weather Chart – Okay, I’m trying to stop getting all the feels over these family favorites, but it’s just not happening. We used our calendar chart all 15 of our homeschool years, and my family can let you know that I have heavily resisted taking it off the wall. Heavily.

3 – Fraction Tower Equivalency Cubes

4 – * Learning Resources Cash Register – I just looked it up…we bought this on August 12, 2010 for my Jonathan’s 6th birthday. Oh my heart – it’s still in the attic.

5 – Melissa and Doug Wooden Abacus

6 – *Melissa and Doug Money Set – buying Melissa & Doug stuff always made me feel like a good homeschool mom

7 – Pattern Blocks

8 – Self-Correcting Multiplication Keys

9 – Silent Learning Clock

10 – Talking Learning Clock

“Pure mathematics is, in its way, the poetry of logical ideas.” ~ Albert Einstein

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

This post contains affiliate links. 

Prioritizing mental health in your homeschool this year ~
Written by Kara Anderson, author of More Than Enough

It feels more important than ever to prioritize mental health in our homeschools.

Little quirks we’ve noticed—a child who has trouble falling asleep or feels a bit anxious—can grow if left unchecked. And truthfully, we all have moments where our own stress or worries feel a little bigger than before.

As we step into this new homeschool year, it’s worth remembering that lessons and schedules matter, but so does the emotional well-being of every person in our home.

When we care for our children’s mental health—and our own—we create a learning environment where everyone can truly thrive.

Prioritizing Mental Health in Your Homeschool This Year

Self-care matters (and isn’t selfish!)

My main mental health struggle is anxiety. Looking back now, I can see that I’ve had it since I was a kid. Luckily, I have a counselor and a doctor who I work with to balance my medication and keep me on track with self-care.

In fact, at every appointment, both my doctor and my counselor ask me what I am doing for self-care.

Much more than a trendy term that translates to manicures and face masks, self-care can encompass many physical, emotional and spiritual components to help us stay at our best.

Things like:

• Exercise or movement
• Journaling
• Prayer or meditation
• Eating well
• Staying hydrated
• Making time for hobbies and interests

If you or your kiddos are highly sensitive, it’s helpful to take sensory needs into account, too – it might help to burn candles to eliminate stale smells or try to limit noise as much as possible.

A daily walk might help you reset when recovering from a melt-down (yours or theirs.)

Mostly, self-care is about figuring what you need, and knowing that it’s okay to need it.

And by prioritizing it, we’re teaching our kids that it’s okay to care for ourselves and good to learn healthy coping mechanisms.

Plan for it

Something I’ve learned is that when things reach an emotional boiling point, it feels so much better to take an intentional mental health day (or even half-day), than it does to lose your cool and throw in the towel on a random Wednesday.

So when things start to get hard, it can be really helpful to just notice…

Signs to look for in our kids can include crying more often, “whining,” arguing with siblings – these things can feel frustrating and feed into our own anxiety, worry and insecurity. But if we can pull back and see the bigger picture, these behaviors are just the tip of the iceberg.

In my book, More Than Enough, I share about how what we see of an iceberg is just the top percent. The remaining 90 percent is invisible beneath the water:

“That’s how I think of behavior.

Throwing the pencil out of frustration is the part we see.

What we don’t see is fear:

• I don’t understand long division
• My brother gets long division and he’s two years younger than me
• What if I never get this?
• Am I stupid?
• Does Mom think I’m stupid? 

Imagine all those thoughts swirling in you. I would want to throw a pencil too.

I’m not condoning the throwing of sharp implements, of course, I’m just saying that when our kids are struggling, it’s so important not to pile on, and to address the underlying cause, not just the outward behavior.”

And the underlying cause might very well be stress and overwhelm.

Our kids may not be able to vocalize it, but many of them feel it.

And parents do too.

So what can you do when it all feels like too much?

First, you can remember that you are not alone in this.

Second, when your kids are having a hard time emotionally, take off your teacher hat, throw it across the room, and focus on your baby, even if that baby is 16 and taller than you are.

Emotional needs are REAL, which is why you must also focus on your own self-care as a parent.

You can’t help anyone if you are just barely holding on yourself.

So my advice this year is to focus on prioritizing mental health in your homeschool.

In ten years’ time, you’ll look back and know that you made the right decision – one that just might have made all the difference for you and your people.

* Click here to read more of Kara’s inspirational writing on SH.

(And if that means you need extra help, don’t be afraid to reach out to your doctor or a counselor. Or, you can also contact the National Alliance on Mental Illness Helpline at 800-950-6264 Monday through Friday from 10 a.m, to 6 p.m., EST or in a crisis, text “NAMI” to 741741 for 24/7, confidential, free crisis counseling.)

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

Read your way to a love of math (UPDATED!) ~
Written by Jamie C. Martin of Simple Homeschool

I’m currently updating a series I published over ten(!) years ago about math, explaining how our family decided to approach the subject in a non-traditional way, particularly in the early years.

Now you’ll get to hear my perspective looking back as a veteran homeschool mom to see if it matches what my young, naive homeschool self thought!

In these posts, we’ve explored math study from a different perspective, asking two important questions: Why do we do what we do when it comes to this subject? Are there any other valid approaches to consider?

Other updates in this math series:
* A different way to look at math
* Out of the box math inspiration

An alternative to workbook pages in the early years is the simple sharing of a book spread open across your lap. It’s one of the easiest ways to create a blossoming love of numbers and patterns in a child’s heart and mind.

Back in the day when I was an insecure homeschool mom, I would have loved a list of well-chosen math titles, recommended by someone I trusted.

I’ve tried to provide that for you here, highlighting the resources we found most enjoyable in our own family – as well as including an updated list of other popular books you may want to check out.

Enjoy the journey as you read your way to a love of math!

Read your way to a love of math: 75+ titles for ages 4-12

Bedtime Math

Who is it for? Ages 4-12

What a fun addition (get it?!) this resource is for your math-learning littles.

Check out their website or app for easy access to a daily math question, or check out one of their three published Bedtime Math books(afflinks) for an offline option.

The beauty of bedtime math is that there are questions geared to a variety of learning-levels, making it something you can use for your preschoolers all the way to your pre-teens!

Life of Fred

Who is it for? Ages 6 – High School

Since I first wrote this series, I’ve been asked the same question several times: “I’d like to approach math differently, but what can I do if I have to provide documentation for my state and/or my kids have to take a standardized test?”

My top recommendation for those in the above situation would be to explore Life of Fred Math, a curriculum that goes from early elementary all the way through high school – but in a very different way to the norm!

Used in a structured or formal way, you’d be able to approach math creatively but still be able to provide the documentation you need to meet your local requirements.

Like any resource, Life of Fred isn’t for everyone. But my kids loved it, and I loved that I could read math aloud at the lunch table!

Mathemagic

Who is it for? Ages 4-12

Mathemagic is Volume 13 of a kids’ encyclopedia series that used to be produced by Childcraft and is now out of print.

It is full of inspiring math stories, clever puzzles, riddles, and games – perfect for reading aloud or putting on the shelf for your kiddos to flip through.

Math study aside, we have always had a used set of several Childcraft volumes  on our shelves, and still do!

I can’t get of rid them, because hardly a homeschool day went by in our house that I didn’t see a child with one of these tucked under their arm. Keeping them for the grandchildren, perhaps one day?!

No longer in print, check for them on Amazon or Ebay.

Mathematicians Are People, Too

Who is it for? Ages 8-12

This is a fascinating collection of short stories about the lives of the great mathematicians throughout history – often including the details about how they developed their groundbreaking theories and discoveries.

A perfect way to show our kids what passion for math looks like, this series contains two volumes.

Sir Cumference Series

Who is it for? Ages 7-11 (give or take)

The Sir Cumference books introduce foundational geometry concepts through adventurous stories – radius and diameter, data collection, perimeter, area, and pi all make an appearance in this series of 12 titles.

*****

Other titles to explore for ages 4-8 (Updated!)

• 12 Ways to Get to 11
• Amanda Bean’s Amazing Dream (multiplication)
• Anno’s Counting Book
• Anno’s Mysterious Multiplying Jar
• The Boy Who Loved Math: The Improbable Life of Paul Erdos
• Captain Invincible and the Space Shapes  (3D shapes)
• Count on Me
• Do Not Open This Math Book  (addition/subtraction)
• The Doorbell Rang (division)
• Double Puppy Trouble  (doubling)
• Each Orange Had 8 Slices
• Even Steven and Odd Todd
• Fannie in the Kitchen (measurements)
• Full House: An Invitation to Fractions
• Give Me Half!  (fractions)
• The Greedy Triangle
• How Much is a Million?
• I Love You 100  (counting to 100)
• Inchworm and a Half  (fractions)
• Just Enough Carrots  (comparison)
• Lemonade in Winter: A Book About Two Kids Counting Money
• Math Fables: Lessons That Count
• Math For All Seasons: Mind-Stretching Math Riddles
• Measuring Penny
• Missing Math: A Number Mystery
• Missing Mittens  (odd/even)
• More or Less  (comparison)
• Multiplying Menace: The Revenge of Rumpelstiltskin
• Mummy Math: An Adventure in Geometry
• One Grain of Rice: A Mathematical Folktale  (doubling)
• One Hundred Hungry Ants
• Pebbles and the Biggest Number
• Pigs Will Be Pigs (money)
• A Place for Zero
• The Rabbit Problem
• The Reindeer Remainders  (division)
• Spaghetti and Meatballs for All!
• Tally O’Malley  (tallying)
• Ten Black Dots
• What’s Your Angle, Pythagoras?  (geometry)
• Where is Sheep 100?  (skip counting)
• Zero the Hero

Other titles to explore for ages 8-12 (Updated!)

• 5 Minute Math Problem of the Day
• The Adventures of Penrose the Mathematical Cat
• Annika Riz, Math Whiz
• The Best of Times (multiplication)
• Betcha! (estimating)
• Counting on Frank
• CSI Math Mystery for Kids
• Danica McKeller’s Math Series (Ages 12+; Perfect for adults looking to freshen up, too!)
• Daphne Draws Data: A Storytelling with Data Adventure
• Divide and Ride  (division)
• Earth Day – Hooray!  (place value)
• Eat Your Math Homework
• Fractions in Disguise (fractions)
• Game Time  (time)
• G is for Googol: A Math Alphabet Book
• The Grapes of Math
• The Librarian Who Measured the Earth
• The Man Who Counted: A Collection of Mathematical Adventures
• Math Curse
• The Math Inspectors (Chapter book series – 6 titles)
• Math Mysteries: The Triple Threat
• Math Potatoes: Mind-Stretching Brain Food
• Math-terpieces: The Art of Problem Solving
• The Multiplying Menace Divides  (division)
• The Number Devil: A Mathematical Adventure
• The Penny Pot  (coins)
• The Phantom Tollbooth
• Pythagoras and the Ratios  (ratios)
• Shark Swimathon  (subtraction)
• The Times Machine!  (multiplication/division)
• Too Many Kangaroo Things to Do!  (multiplication)

“Mathematics, rightly viewed, possesses not only truth, but supreme beauty.”
~ Bertrand Russell

Do you know of any more inspiring titles to help read your way to a love of math?

What’s Your Homeschool Mom Personality? Take Jamie’s quiz now and receive a free personality report to help you organize your homeschool based on what your personality type needs most!

This post contains affiliate links.