Dear friend,

So… you’re a new mom now. Amazing, eh? Not only do we rejoice because they are all precious, but it thrills me that you have joined the coven of motherhood. It’s a large one, to be sure—most women eventually do join, I’d imagine—but it’s still no less sacred to pass through those gates into the fields where someone will forever call you Mom. It’s no small thing.

But. Just because it is common, that doesn’t mean it’s easy. No ma’am. It’s most certainly the hardest job I’ve ever had or ever will had, and I’m going to take a stab at guessing and say that it’ll be the same for you. You’ve had a small taste of it, so you’re probably not in total disagreement.

Your wee one is so very wee, so you’ve heard advice out the wazoo from well-meaning women. And you’ve heard this, too—to enjoy it now, because they grow up so fast. It’s really, really true, they do grow up so incredibly fast (my 7-year-old should still fit in my arms, it seems), but I’m not so far away from your stage to look back and see nothing but unicorns and glitter.

In a word… Having a newborn stinks. It’s really hard to “enjoy it now.”

Now, it’s not all horrible, so don’t get me wrong. And yes, it stinks in the literal sense, too (badabing!). But I’d be lying if I said that after the birth of my first, I belonged to that school of women who couldn’t wait to be pregnant again.

I wasn’t. I was so very glad to no longer be pregnant. I couldn’t fathom having a second. I could barely understand why the hospital said it was okay to take my tiny human home; why would I want to do it again? Don’t they know how often I run out of eggs at home? Would they like to see my out of control laundry pile? Why on earth do they think I’d be a good mother?

In short—I didn’t love the early days. In the first few months of my firstborn’s life, I felt like my life was over. I wasn’t happy or joyful. I was sad. Sad to say goodbye to freedom, to living on a whim, to being who I was.

And I felt horribly guilty about that. I loved God and I loved my husband. Shouldn’t I also love my daughter?

I distinctly remember the first time I felt a flutter of love towards her. It wasn’t until she was six months old. I was changing her diaper, and she looked up at me and smiled. Our eyes met—really locked—for the first time that day. And my heart melted. It got better after that.

But before that, to be honest, all I can remember is the constant influx of diapers, saying words I had never before uttered to near strangers (reflux? swaddle? nipples?), and counting poops. And of course, no sleep for months.

I wasn’t in love.

Photo by mrgreen09

Now I know you won’t believe me, but I enjoyed newborn-hood more with subsequent children. By the birth of my third, I actually enjoyed it (though I’ll be honest and say that in my opinion, the older the kids get, the more fun they are). But yes, when my first child was a newborn, I wasn’t glowing with the love of motherhood. I was barely brushing my teeth.

This is common, I hear. “They” don’t say it often, but there are a lot of moms who’ve felt similarly. After reading books and taking classes, you expect to be excited about motherhood. And then when you’re not, it can be a serious let down. Many of us know what that’s like.

The point of this letter is simply to say I’ve been there. Plenty of women have been there. And that if you’re at all like me, it will get better. Lots better. Consider this letter a virtual hug.

A few other things:

• I found out later—way later than I should have—that I had postpartum depression. I was going through slightly more than the baby blues, but I had nothing to compare it to, so I didn’t know. I managed to cope, but not beautifully. Stuff didn’t hit the fan until I was pregnant with number two, more than two years later. Looking back, I wished I had gotten help early. If you feel like you might have postpartum, tell someone.

• Shake off all those blog posts from moms who focus on waking up before the kids. You’ll get there eventually, but right now, SLEEP. Seriously.

• Enjoy date nights while your baby is still immobile. Soon enough, your newborn will be sitting up, then crawling, and then walking. And there’s no going back. I still remember a date night when we went to dinner at 8 p.m., our newborn sweetly sleeping in her carseat next to us at the restaurant. That won’t be possible for long.

• Get some fresh air. Don’t worry about hard-core working out—just go for a walk around the block. Use that baby carrier. Being outside made a world of difference for me.

• Go easy on yourself. Really. A sink full of dishes or an undusted bookshelf does not a bad mother make. Those things can wait… Snuggle with your little one as much as you like (and no, you won’t spoil him).

• Or if you’d rather put him down in his bouncy seat so that you can do something grownup like flip through a magazine, that’s okay, too. You’re still a fantastic mom.

You’re doing amazing. Really. Your body just performed what it was made to do, and yet what it did is nothing less than a miracle. You birthed new life. You’re a superhero.

And yet if you don’t like motherhood so far, that’s okay. You’re in good company. It’ll get better.

Do you enjoy the early days?

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• 6 Things to do in the Last Weeks of Pregnancy
• Weekend Giveaway: One Year to an Organized Life with Baby
• Seasons in Parenting: The Newborn Baby Months

Written by money contributor Charlie Park of Pear Budget.

Often, introductions to budgeting make it sound soooo simple: “What do you make each month? Divide it up. Boom! Done!”

There are a number of flaws with that — you probably don’t know what you actually spend money on, you probably aren’t factoring in that dishwasher that’s about to die, you’re gonna fudge your numbers to make the total expenses fit the income number, and so on. But there’s one problem that hits a lot of people in the very first sentence of those instructions. “What do I make each month? Well … which month?!?”

When you make a different amount of money each month, it can be very difficult to budget your expenses.

How will you know whether you can buy those shoes you need this month? Will you need to cancel that haircut? Do you really have to go see the doctor about that cough right now, or can it wait a few weeks? It’s what I call “budgeting in the dark” — you don’t have all the facts, which means you’re trying to make rational decisions through an irrational process.

Budgeting in the dark is no fun, and it’s one of the reasons a lot of people completely give up on budgeting. (Pro tip: that’s not going to make things better.)

Today we’re going to look at how to throw some light on the situation, how to get things under control, and how to drop that bucket of stress you’re probably carrying around with you.

The Dam and the Water Tower

Photo by Satoshi Kaya

Before we get into talking about money, I want to touch on something else. Water.

Cities have people. People need water. Unfortunately, there aren’t many places in the world where the amount of water needed by the city magically shows up each morning, ready to be used for cooking, cleaning, and watering gardens. No, cities have to plan for their water usage. And while there are lots of ways that cities can manage their water, the two most visible ways are through dams and water towers.

With a water tower, a city pumps water in every single minute of every single day, filling the water level higher and higher. Then, at peak moments — like 6-8am and during the halftime of the Super Bowl (or, I guess, during the actual game) — all the people in that neighborhood start using the water, and it drains out of the tower. Then, slowly, the pumps fill it back up and the cycle repeats. Think: a little bit of water in, steadily and constantly, means it’s there when it’s needed.

Dams also provide water to cities, but they do something else as well: flood and drought control. Sometimes, spring rains come, the snows melt, and a lot of water comes rushing down the river towards the city, and it needs to be contained. Other times, rains are light, the summer sun is hot, and not as much water flows down. In both cases, a dam — and the reservoir of water it holds — helps regulate the level of water the city has access to.

You’ve probably made the mental leap already, but dams and water towers are perfect metaphors for you and your money. But I said we’d be specifically talking about irregular incomes. How does this metaphor apply?

Step 1. Create a “reservoir” (open a bank account)

Photo by James Marvin Phelps

Some of you make the same amount of money every month. You should think of your money flow like a water tower. Or, actually, a collection of water towers. Each month, you push a little bit of money into the “groceries” water tower and the “clothing” water tower and the “replacement dishwasher” water tower. Then, as you need it, you draw down on the money that’s collected and you get the thing you need.

Then, when more money comes in the following month, you push it into the water towers again. If you’re a “cash-only” household, your envelopes are your water towers. If you use credit/debit cards as well, you might use a couple of different bank accounts for that. Tsh talks more about that in her post on “sinking funds.”

Those of you with irregular incomes need to add a step into your process. You’ll still use water towers, but you also need a dam somewhere to feed them. I recommend setting up a new bank account — the “Orange” accounts at ING Direct are good for this, but you might prefer a local bank or credit union with bank tellers you can interact with directly — to act as your “reservoir.”

Money goes from your paycheck to your reservoir, then from the reservoir to the water towers, and then you’d spend it. You won’t ever actually spend money directly from this “reservoir” account. You’d also get to say things like “Oh, we need more dam money.”

Step 2. Fill up the reservoir (Gather money into this account)

Photo by Doctor J. Beam

So we’ve opened up the bank account to act as your reservoir. But it’s currently empty. That’s okay. A dam doesn’t start out on Day 1 full of water. Similarly, you’ll need to gather money into this account. It could take a few months. (While that’s going on, that’s a great time to track your spending if you aren’t already doing that.)

You should make it a habit to put some money from every check that comes in into this account. The goal is to end every month with a little more money in this account, and, eventually, to have a little more than a full month’s worth of expenses stashed away here.

Getting to that point can be tricky, and I don’t mean to suggest that it won’t take some work. But the peace you’ll have when you get there will more than make up for it. One thing you’ll want to do is to “ration your water use.”

In a drought, cities employ “water rationing” — they basically figure out what uses of water are necessary and which ones are simply nice to have. In the same way, as you’re building up your reservoir, think about which of your expenses are needs, and which ones are wants. Sometimes you even need to divide a single expense category up — maybe you need to have “groceries – needs” and “groceries – wants” categories. Tsh actually goes more in-depth on this in a post she wrote a few years back, How Do You Budget On An Irregular Income?.

Step 3. Draw Water from the Reservoir (Pay yourself out of this account, not directly from your paychecks)

Photo by Wojciech Przybylski

There are two ways you can go about this. One way is to figure out what, on average, you make each year, and to give yourself a regular “salary” out of your reservoir. The other way is to only pay yourself what you brought in the month before.

If you give yourself a regular “salary” out of your reservoir, you simply transfer the same amount out from one month to the next. Sometimes your reservoir will dip down a bit (if your income has been light). Other times, it’ll get a bit high (when you’ve been making more than usual). Either way, though, you should only pay yourself the same amount every month.

If you go with the “pay yourself what you brought in last month” approach, your reservoir will probably end up staying at about the same level. It’ll fluctuate up and down, but if you’re drawing that money out, it’ll all balance out in the end. My friend Jesse, at YNAB, encourages this approach, and many people find it works well for them.

Planning for the Future

Photo by WaterArchives.org

So if you’ve gone through these three steps, and you have your “reservoir” account ready to go, where do you go next? In truth, you’re now ready to follow just about every other (good) budgeting article that’s out there. You’ve created a way to regulate the money that flows in each month. You’ve pulled yourself out of the dark, and can now make good decisions and have a less-stressful plan as you move forward.

For those of you in this situation, good luck with it. And in the comments, we’d love to know: Are there any tips you have for working with an irregular income? What other obstacles stand in the way of you feeling peace about your finances?

CURRENT SPONSORS:

• Plan to Eat - meal planning made simple.
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• On dams and water towers (Budgeting on an irregular income)
• The Readers Ask: “How Do You Budget With an Irregular Income?”
• How I Budget

I’m out of town for the moment, so today’s post is from Hallie Lord of Betty Beguiles.

Second only to running out of coffee, nothing puts a damper on my mornings quite as effectively as not being able to find anything appropriate to wear. I don’t know about you, but I’m not usually operating at maximum capacity first thing in the morning. The last thing I need is to go toe-to-toe with a disorganized closet while still bleary-eyed and fuzzy with sleep.

After engaging in far too many gruesome early morning outfit battles, I decided that something needed to change. Bound and determined, I set out to regain control of my wardrobe. If you find yourself in a similar position, these simple steps might just help you to do the same.

Consider your lifestyle.

Ask yourself questions such as:

• What does an average day in my life look like?
• How often do I need to dress in formal wear?
• What additional items do I need to help transition my wardrobe into the colder months?

The key to creating a wardrobe that works for you is to be intentional. Answer the above (and other similar) questions, and create a list of the type and number of outfits and accessories you’d need to flourish. This list will be key in making the hard decisions about which items of clothing get to stay and which need to go.

Simplify your current wardrobe.

Once you’ve put together a list of your basic wardrobe needs, set aside several hours to simplify your wardrobe.

Take everything (yes, everything) out of your closet and lay it across your bed. Designate space in your bedroom for three piles: a Donate pile, a Keep pile and a Try On pile (for all the pieces that you’re not sure about). Sort every single piece of clothing that you own into one of the three piles.

Once you are finished sorting, breathe deeply and turn your attention to the Try On pile. One by one, try on each item of clothing. A trusted friend might come in handy here. Then consider these questions:

• Do I feel comfortable wearing it?
• When was the last time I wore it?
• Does it flatter my unique figure?
• Do I have somewhere to wear it to?
• Do I have something to wear it with?

Be honest with yourself, and be ruthless. A woman doesn’t need a lot of garments to create a lot of great outfits, she just needs the right mix of garments. I know better than anyone how hard it can be to part with certain items of clothing, but if it doesn’t serve you in some easily identifiable way, you’re better off without it.

Photo by Rubbermaid

Create a beautiful closet.

How you create a beautiful closet will depend upon your personal preferences. Be creative! Your closet should reflect you and your individual style. Consider investing in quality hangers, pretty boxes for storing items, and/or scented satchels.

The goal is to create an aesthetically pleasing space. I can’t explain it, but beautifully displayed clothing somehow helps me better enjoy the clothes I have and minimizes the urge to go shopping.

Assess your current wardrobe situation and make adjustments.

Pull out the list you made at the beginning of this process and compare it to the pieces in your newly decluttered closet. Once you’re free of the clothing you no longer wear, you can effectively assess your current wardrobe situation.

If you have too many of one type of clothing, pick a select few of your favorites and then sell or donate the rest. If you find that there are pieces you lack, make a reasonable plan to buy them.

One other thing to remember: every single item you own should be able to be paired with another piece to create a complete outfit. Some people even like to arrange their clothing into outfit groups to further simplify their mornings—this is a great way to confirm that all your pieces have a purpose. If you find stray garments, give them away or find them a mate!

Building a wardrobe that works for you comes with many obvious benefits: It reduces stress, frees up mental energy, results in more peaceful mornings, and creates extra time to spend doing the things you most love.

What’s your favorite item in your wardrobe?

CURRENT SPONSORS:

• Plan to Eat - meal planning made simple.
• The Justice Conference - Justice hangs by a thread.
• Lil' Soak - Sewing hope with handmade goods.
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• Creating a wardrobe that works for you
• How Do You Declutter?
• Project: Simplify: Hot Spot #1 Revealed

• I don’t want to raise a good child :: Lysa TerKeurst
• McDonald’s drops use of gooey ammonia-based “pink slime” in hamburger meat :: MSNBC
• When you need friends (but have a hard time finding them) :: (in)courage
• Motherhood, Ambition, Passion, and Purpose :: The M.A.P.P. Gathering (I was interviewed—along with 8 other women—and you can register to listen for free)
• An endless series of difficult but achievable hills :: Seth Godin

“The essence of sports is that while you’re doing it, nothing else matters, but after you stop, there is a place, generally not very important, where you would put it.” -Roger Bannister

CURRENT SPONSORS:

• Plan to Eat - meal planning made simple.
• The Justice Conference - Justice hangs by a thread.
• Lil' Soak - Sewing hope with handmade goods.
• Treed - A simple, flexible, effective project planning tool.

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• Weekend Links
• Weekend Links
• Weekend Links

Note from Tsh: I loved Jeannett’s idea a few months ago—to regularly write about her progress on my e-book on her own blog, Life Rearranged. For 2012, I thought it’d be fun for her to share her progress here on Simple Mom! So on the first Friday of every month, Jeannett will share her thoughts about One Bite—the good, the bad, and the in between. I hope it’ll encourage you!

One of the problems I have when I read any kind of “simplify life” articles or books is that I end up skimming through it and thinking, “Yeah, that’s a really good idea. I should totally do that.”

And then I don’t.

I mean, I know I should… But taking that extra step and being intentional about it is a whole different beast. So I decided to report my progress working through Tsh’s e-book, One Bite at a Time. It’s broken down into really manageable projects, just one per week, and if I had some accountability from other readers, I’d be much more likely to actually implement the tasks.

The first Friday of every month, I’ll be sharing my journey. I certainly don’t have it all together, and I’ll always be honest with you. There are some tasks that work great for me and my family, others I just can’t get into, and some that I already do naturally.

I started this project a few months ago, so I’m already on Projects 14-17. You can jump in right alongside me since they can be done in any order, or you can check out what I’ve written so far here.

Week 14: Eat Whole Foods (on a budget).

I once read that when you’re done grocery shopping, 80 percent of what is in your cart should be from the perimeter of the store. Think about it: that’s where you’ll find all of the fruits, vegetables, and meats. Aisles in grocery stores are typically filled with boxes, cans, and bags. I’ve worked with this general idea when I shop for a few years now, and it’s a really simple way to remind me to cook with real food as I’m shopping.

Photo by MVI

This chapter reminded me that I really needed to make an effort to buy locally. The irony of my life is that I live in one of the richest agricultural areas in the United States. In fact, it’s known as one of the best places in the world to grow strawberries—and yet, I rarely (if ever) find myself at the little roadside strawberry stand less than three blocks from my house. Instead, I buy berries that have been shipped hundreds of miles, from the grocery store.

It’s silly, but sometimes buying locally means a separate trip, it means having cash on hand, and it means actually being intentional and doing something outside of routine. I’m happy to report that the local farmer’s market on Wednesdays is going to have a new “regular” from here on out. I will, however, say that the recommendation to “eat less meat” may never happen in this house. I’m not sure I can ever, in a million years, convince my husband of that change. We’ll see… baby steps.

Week 15: Make Your Kitchen Paperless.

I was actually really looking forward to this task. I’ll never forget the time I was a poor college student, in an apartment on her own for the first time, and I went to the store. I bought: trash bags, paper towels, napkins, and toilet paper. For some reason, I didn’t need to buy food or drinks.

Photo by Mykl Roventine

I about had a heart attack when my total was over $20. TWENTY DOLLARS FOR A BUNCH OF STUFF THAT WAS INTENDED TO GO INTO THE TRASH???!!! I’ve never quite gotten over that experience, and have always groaned whenever it was time to replace the gigantic pack of paper towels from Costco.

I found a 24-pack of thin bar mop towels at Smart N’ Final for $8.99, came home, rearranged a couple of drawers, and happily moved the roll of paper that lived on my counter to the garage. So far, I love it. I like that my countertop is free of the paper, the towels are just as easy to use, and frankly, there’s some paper in the garage if I really need it.

I have a small trashcan under the sink that I use as a hamper. Next up is finding some inexpensive white cloth napkins online and getting rid of the paper napkins that sit in a tray on my kitchen table. I had hoped to find some locally, but it’s looking like I’m going to have to order online.

Week 16: Schedule Regular Date Nights.

I know, I know. This is like the first commandment of happy marriages, right? Regular. Date. Nights. And it’s one of those things that sounds really nice and fun, but it’s so hard to implement. We have three kids 4 and under, and one with special needs. While we do have a babysitter we use from time to time, I’m always a little uneasy while we’re gone.

Photo by Nono Fara

Plus, it gets expensive. We live far from friends, so swapping babysitting nights isn’t really logistically possible, for the most part. Luckily, my husband’s cousin goes to college about 30 miles north of us, so when she has a free Saturday night, we try to snag her to watch the kids while we get some much needed alone time.

Because the kids are young and go to bed early, we’ll wait and have dinner on our own (and I’ll usually make something fancier), and then watch a movie via OnDemand and chat uninterruptedly. It may still be in our living room, and there will be dishes waiting in the morning, but it works for us for now. In the meantime, the times we are able to get away are so sweet.

Week 17: Create an Essential Papers File

A couple years ago, I found a brand new fire safe lock box at a yard sale for $10. When I got home, I haphazardly threw a few important papers in there and stashed it in the closet. The obvious—like our marriage certificate, the deed to our house, passports, birth certificates, and our social security cards. I loved this task, because Tsh’s list was so much more comprehensive, and really gave me a good overview of what to really put in there.

Photo by Mikko Luntiala

The best part of this whole thing is that not only is it all safe in case of a fire (because let’s face it: you can re-order all of it, but it would be like adding insult to injury if you had just been the victim of a house fire), but I know that if my husband randomly comes home asking for something specific, I don’t have to panic trying to rack my brain of which drawer or file it’s in. It’s all in one cozy little box. Now if only I can remember where I put the key… (kidding).

Are you working through One Bite at a Time? I’d love to hear your progress—you can play along at any time and jump in at any point in the journey!

Does this accountability project sound like something you’d like to do? Buy One Bite at a Time here for $5 and jump right in!

Have you tried these three projects yet? Any tips for eating whole foods, going paperless, scheduling date nights, or filing essential papers?

CURRENT SPONSORS:

• Plan to Eat - meal planning made simple.
• The Justice Conference - Justice hangs by a thread.
• Lil' Soak - Sewing hope with handmade goods.
• Treed - A simple, flexible, effective project planning tool.

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• One bite at a time… together
• One Bite at a Time: Together
• One Bite at a Time

Written by contributor Robin Dance of Pensieve.

I‘m embarrassed to admit it, and its truth pains me, but I’m almost certain the people to whom I’ve spoken most hatefully are my own children and husband.  I’ve wondered if I’m the only one who does this.

Why do the people I love most receive the worst treatment I have to offer?  Thankfully, mean or impatient words are the exception, but with my upcoming extended separation from my children, I’m acutely aware of my propensity to speak in a less than loving manner; ironic, because I have such thin skin myself.

Two recent occurrences with my teen boys drove this point home–

• After my oldest son cleaned his room, I opened his closet door; it was no surprise his version of clean didn’t match mine.  Irritated, I began organizing and cleaning out the war zone, only to be discovered by him mid-way through.  He braced for mama wrath, instead caught off guard by my calm (not typical) response.  Before all was said and done, we were finishing the work together–happily.  I hadn’t even asked him to join me.

When children reach their teens, it’s easy to think they’re unaffected by harsh words. Don’t be deceived—your words and tone can wound them deeply.  Consider the following:

1. Think and breathe before you speak.

Remember the old “Count to ten” adage?  Not a bad idea when you’re frustrated with your teens.  They’re expecting your fury; they know when they’ve pushed too far.  Surprise them with kindness, an even tone and grace when they least expect it.

2. Don’t assume they can read your mind.

Like the case of my son rolling coins, I was frustrated he didn’t know how to do it by osmosis; because I knew, he should know.  Consider their perspective and whether you’re projecting your experience onto them.

3. Tell them what they need to hear.

I am not suggesting insincere flattery or compliments where they aren’t warranted.  But it’s likely your teenagers have been hurt by the cruel words of classmates, peers, or even teachers or coaches, so take every opportunity to counter those negatives with positives.  Every teen needs to hear these things often from their parents:

• I love you.
• I’m proud of you (be specific when possible).
• I’m sorry (when you’re clearly in the wrong).
• I forgive you (when they’re clearly in the wrong).
• You’re beautiful/handsome (they’re bombarded by TV, magazines, billboards and film with messages of false beauty; affirm their features, character, and personality traits, which speak to their inner beauty and are the things you like best about them).

Sometimes word void is more painful than word damage.

Have you ever been hurt or haunted by cruel words of others?  In parenting, have you ever found yourself saying things you swore you never would?  Think about one important message you want to impress upon your teen, and if you’re willing, share in comments.

CURRENT SPONSORS:

• Plan to Eat - meal planning made simple.
• The Justice Conference - Justice hangs by a thread.
• Lil' Soak - Sewing hope with handmade goods.
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• Words will never hurt me?!
• Seasons in Parenting: The Teenage Years (part 2)
• Seasons in Parenting: The Teenage Years (part 1)

7:00 – My alarm goes off on my iPhone. We had a late night last night. I grab it, hit snooze, and tuck it under my pillow.

7:17 – I get up and grab my phone, journal, and Bible off the nightstand. I head to the bathroom, splash water on myself, brush my hair. I weigh myself. Down three pounds since January 1!

• 7:20 – As I walk out, I see that my boys’ door is open. Darn cat. I try to sneak by, but Finn sees me. He was quietly playing in his crib not two seconds before, but now there is wailing and gnashing of teeth. I sigh. I tiptoe in there and grab him so that Reed will stay asleep. Finn in my arms, I close the door as quietly as I can.

Not two seconds later, Reed calls, “Mom! Mom! Mom!” from his bunk bed. We’re working on him waiting more than one second to give me a chance to answer him, but he doesn’t remember this freshly awake.

Reed climbs down and follows us. Quiet morning alone is over.

• 7:40 – I start up the Chopin station on Pandora in the living room, Reed lays on the couch with his blanket, and Finn dawdles around, getting in to everything under the sun and handing me his treasures. I check email on the couch with Reed snuggled next to me. 412 unread. I read three; quickly answer one.

I glance at Facebook and wonder how on earth I’m going to fit in the 30 Day Shred today. But I have to, somehow. I promised Jen.

• 7:49 – I get up to stop Finn from tearing apart a puzzle box. Wailing and gnashing of teeth ensues. He’s our dramatic one right now; neither of our other two threw tantrums quite like he does.

• 7:55 – Finn has gotten in to the Take to Goodwill box. He’s removing all the latest goods I just recently parted with.

• 8:00 – Time to make breakfast. I head to the kitchen, start the kettle for the French press, give Finn a banana chunk, and start a load of cloth diapers in the washer. There are days when we have a hot breakfast. Today is not one of those days. I pull out the granola, blueberries, and milk.

Breakfast with the three boys. Tate, the one kid who needs to get up and at ‘em, is still asleep.

• 8:30 – I go wake up Tate. She comes to the table and starts on breakfast, while Kyle heads to our room to get in a few minutes of work—he’s not feeling well this morning. Reed starts emptying the silverware from the dishwasher; I get Finn and myself ready for the day. School’s supposed to start at 9. Not sure it’s going to happen.

• 9:07 – Kyle starts teaching math with Tate. Huzzah! I get the boys settled with some toys, but it lasts about five minutes. Finn is content to play with the tongs from the kitchen, and Reed wants me to read him a book. I have about 20 minutes until a Skype meeting, so I snuggle on the couch and read him his choice: Who Pooped in the Park?

• 9:30 – Start a Skype meeting with Meagan Francis. We’re keeping each other accountable professionally, so we chat to discuss our blogging monthly goals and give each other a few ideas. Par for the course, the boys suddenly need to snuggle, so they cling to me while I sit on the couch with my laptop. I remind them every five minutes or so that I’m working, but that they can sit by me while I do. They’re up and down. The living room is destroyed while I chat.

• 10:20 – My Skype meeting ends, so I declare a 15 minute pick-up-the-living-room session while Kyle and Tate continue on with science. After we’re done, I put on a Super Why! episode from Netflix for Reed.

• 10:30 – I quickly check Facebook and see that Jen has already done day 1 of The Shred. Guess that means I’ll have to.

• 10:50 – Science ends, so Tate watches the last five minutes of Super Why! with Reed. Finn starts losing his marbles, so I slice a pear for the two of us to share.

• 11:00 – Tate and I start school. She works on her cursive while I gather the rest of her Language Arts materials. I put Finn in the highchair next to me and he snacks. Kyle works in the bedroom.

• 11:20 – We move on to narration and dictation (I read her a short passage, ask comprehension questions, and she tells me one thing she remembers from the passage—I write it down, and she copies it in her best handwriting). It doesn’t always happen, but today, she’s flying through school.

• 11:30 – Tate starts her spelling workbook, which is an independent study for her. I empty and load the dishwasher, take out the recycling, switch the laundry, and start on lunch.

• 12:00 – She finishes her work, and we take a lunch break. Finn’s about to pass out asleep in his highchair, and Reed and Tate playfully bicker. Loudly. I think a second cup of coffee is in order soon. I make them sandwiches while they watch some YouTube videos from Animaniacs (the ones about geography). I sit down with them over crackers and cheese, and I read aloud from Charlotte’s Web.

• 12:20 – I change Finn and put him down for a nap, then I go out to bring the garbage can back from the curb. On the way, I realized I forgot to take my vitamins this morning. I grab them as soon as I get back in, because I might forget again in 20 seconds.

• 12:25 – Older kids are getting punchy, so I send them outside to get some fresh air. And so it can be quiet for five minutes in the house. I hear Finn chatting and humming in his crib. I clean up from lunch. How does it get so messy after just one meal?

• 1:00 – The babysitter texts to say she’ll be 15 minutes late. Tate comes in and wants to blog. I pull up her blog on the school computer so she can write. Reed whines about wanting to start a movie, but I tell him he has to wait until Tate’s done. The boy is all about the TV lately.

While we have a few minutes, I grab Reed to help me take a photo for a post. The lighting is good.

• 1:15 – Natalie shows up, and Tate predictably loses interest in blogging. She declares that she’ll blog tonight. I pop in a movie Reed checked out from the library, and tell Natalie they can watch this, and then the TV goes off.

Kyle and I head out so that the kids can enjoy their time with their favorite person. (Natalie comes over three afternoons a week so the two of us can work, since we both work from home.)

• 1:30 – Kyle and I place our orders at the coffee shop. We often go out to our trailer to work—it’s a vintage refurbished aluminum cylinder with not much more than a table, chairs, and minuscule kitchen, yet it’s nice to have a cozy spot to work without leaving the land. But today we’re in the mood to get out, so away to the coffee shop we go.

I check email and see that my 2:00 Skype meeting with some book publicists has been rescheduled to tomorrow morning. This means I can do nothing but work on my book, which is good, because I have a meeting with my agent tomorrow, where I’m going to show her my first three chapters. (In a crazy, unheard-of coincidence, my agent lives an hour from me.)

I’ve got a loooooot of writing to do, so I’m happy to get several hours of uninterrupted time. Of course, I need to check Facebook and Twitter, and Lisa-Jo has found me on Skype, so we chat for just a bit. Half an hour whisked by without my blinking.

Time to close up Facebook and its henchmen. I open up Spotify and get to work.

• 3:00 – I pull up my Kindle to grab a quote for the book, and it’s a mess. Two-thirds of the top screen is plaid. Nuts. I instagram, Facebook, and tweet the hive mind, asking if it’s happened to anyone else. Turns out it has. A lot. I call customer service, as suggested, and they send a replacement, with almost no questions asked. Hooray, Amazon!

I guess my quote citation can wait until Monday. Moving on.

• 3:30 – I get back to my chapter, and after a bit of rereading and editing (what was I trying to say there?), I get to writing. And then finally, the words flow. Sometimes it takes awhile, and afternoons are admittedly not my best writing hours. But it’s all I got right now in this season, so I take it. I stare and write, delete and finagle, edit and write some more, and finally, it looks like I’ve finished chapter 3.

• 5:00 – It’s time to pack up shop and head home. We swing by the bank to get cash for the babysitter, and chat about the homeschool co-op meeting we have tonight.

• 5:15 – We walk in the door and are greeted with the waft of a nail salon. Two neighbor girls are over, and it’s apparent that Natalie has recently painted the nails of every female in the house. The kids have matted, damp hair, which means they went swimming in the hot tub, too.

Reed is curled up on a couch in Natalie’s lap, and his cheeks look flushed. He looks up and tells me his tummy hurts. Natalie says he’s warm. I check his temp—not bad, but he usually runs a low temperature, and I can tell he’s lethargic. Uh oh.

Natalie’s boyfriend picks her up (complete with flowers), and they head off to college group at their church, but not before giving the kids three cupcakes. Kyle grabs them before they can start arguing over who gets which one, and sneaks them off to the kitchen. Potential rewards for eating a good dinner.

• 5:45 – I make the executive decision to forego the co-op meeting, where we were going to have dinner, so now we need to come up with dinner on the fly. I pull out some sausage, get out the pans, and start chopping. Spaghetti and salad time.

Finn wants my attention because I’m in the kitchen doing something other than paying attention to him, so I pull up a chair next to me and let him play in the sink for a bit. “A bit” quickly turns to 30 minutes; happy as a clam but soaked to the gills. The other kids are doing… something. I can’t quite tell what. But no one’s getting hurt, and no one is accused of being unfair, so I assume all is well. Don’t rock the boat, I say. I’m sure it helps that Reed doesn’t feel well; he’s usually the instigator of mayhem.

• 6:30 – The natives are restless and starving, and dinner’s finally ready. Kyle pours the wine and we eat. Over dinner, we do our nightly ritual—ask each other the best parts of our day. Tate’s and Reed’s was the hot tub, mine was teaching Tate (because she was cooperative, which doesn’t happen often), and Kyle says his was the first 15 minutes of the coffee shop, when he spaced out.

• 7:00 – The boys need baths. Tate does, too, but she’ll shower in the morning, so her hair can dry tangle-free and not collect into a rat’s nest, as it does when she sleeps with wet hair. I get them in the tub while Kyle cleans the kitchen. I pull out the iPhone and sit with them in the bathroom—the boys are big fans of bath time, so a half hour flies by before they’re clean and ready to emerge. Only minimal water on the floor—a miracle.

• 7:50 – Jammies are on, teeth are brushed. Kyle puts Finn to bed; it’s my turn for story time with the older two. We snuggle up on our bed and read two books, one choice per kid. Not sure it was the best choice to do story time on the bed, because I start slurring the last half of the second book. By the time we pray (each kid prays for a friend), sing (Doxology and, per Tate’s request, Hark! the Herald Angels Sing), and let Dad know we’re done (they like to call out “Ca-caw! Ca-caw!” a la The Three Amigos), there’s a fork in me. I’m done.

Kids get piggy-back rides to bed, and after numerous callings from beds for super important, last minute thoughts (“Hey Mom? Did you know whale sharks can grow to 40 feet long?”), I muster the strength to help Kyle finish the kitchen. I could go to bed right now.

• 8:30 – Kitchen’s clean, so I debate doing a quick 30-Day Shred session, just so I can say I did it. It’s tempting, to cross it off the list. I decide to think it over while I fold a load of laundry.

Somehow, that load of laundry takes 30 minutes. Oh well.

• 9:00 – I pull up Skype, barely keeping my eyes open. Time for my monthly meeting with Kat. She holds me accountable to my health goals, while I do the same for her blog goals. I tell her the latest news from my naturopath, and how it’s been going with my trainer. I tell her my goals for next month.

Kat shares some really fun ideas for her blog, and we chat over the practicals. She tells me what specific goals she’d like accomplished by the time we chat next, in February. I like talking with Kat… She makes me happy. And also, our 30 minute chat turns into an hour.

• 10:00 – I check email one last time. For some reason, the unread messages haven’t all miraculously disappeared. I read and answer five more… the rest will just have to wait. Again.

• 10:20 – I brush my teeth, move the next laundry pile from the bed to the basket, to be folded tomorrow. I pull out my workout clothes for tomorrow morning. I’ve got an appointment with Jillian at 6:30.

I read a bit in bed (I normally switch between five books at a time; tonight’s choice was Familyhood by Paul Reiser, checked out last week at the library). Kyle’s eyes are closed as he still holds his iPhone up to his face. We’re toast.

I click off my nightstand lamp and set my iPhone alarm for 6 a.m.

_________

Every day is different, but this was last Thursday. On Mondays, I teach co-op in the mornings, and we head to the library in the afternoons. I do almost zero writing or blog work then. On Tuesday mornings, I record a podcast. The first Thursday morning of every month, I have a Skype meeting with all my editors. And on Sundays, I do my best to open my laptop as little as possible.

And in the midst of all that, we live life as a family. I type with a baby in my lap; my preschooler often stands next to me and helps me choose photos for my posts. Tate is fascinated with blogging. I share my work with them, and Kyle and I till the soil alongside each other. It’s a family affair.

Do you have a typical day, or is every day different, like mine?

CURRENT SPONSORS:

• Plan to Eat - meal planning made simple.
• The Justice Conference - Justice hangs by a thread.
• Lil' Soak - Sewing hope with handmade goods.
• Treed - A simple, flexible, effective project planning tool.

© 2008-2012 Simple Living Media, LLC | All rights reserved - This feed is provided for the convenience of Simple Mom subscribers. Any reproduction of the content within this feed is strictly prohibited. If you are reading this content elsewhere, please contact hello@simplemom.net to let us know. Thanks.

• A day in the life
• How I Write
• Want to work from home? Find your routine.

For today’s weekend links, I thought I’d showcase some of my favorite finds on Pinterest from the week:

• TONS and tons of free classic children’s audiobooks :: Books Should Be Free (from the public domain)
• How to make $50 worth of liquid (Mrs. Meyers) hand soap for less than $5 :: The Farmer’s Nest
• 20 great posters that encourage reading :: Apartment Therapy
• Salsa in 5 minutes :: Mountain Mama Cooks
• Cute vegetable garden ideas :: Ewa in the Garden

And the winners of the one year subscription to Plan to Eat are Jocelyn, Melissa Jones, Amanda, Erin, and Alaina. Congrats! Look for an email soon.

“Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.” -Benjamin Franklin

CURRENT SPONSORS:

• Plan to Eat - meal planning made simple.
• The Justice Conference - Justice hangs by a thread.
• Lil' Soak - Sewing hope with handmade goods.
• Treed - A simple, flexible, effective project planning tool.

© 2008-2012 Simple Living Media, LLC | All rights reserved - This feed is provided for the convenience of Simple Mom subscribers. Any reproduction of the content within this feed is strictly prohibited. If you are reading this content elsewhere, please contact hello@simplemom.net to let us know. Thanks.

• Weekend Links
• Weekend Links
• Q&A Tuesday: What’s In Your Garden?

Today’s giveaway comes from loyal monthly sponsor Plan to Eat, a genius little online program that pretty much does everything for you but actually cook your meals.

This is a simple tool that allows you to store your favorite recipes (and import them from around the Internet!), create menu plans using those recipes, and even provide grocery lists based on those same recipes.

My favorite feature? How simple it is. Its clean interface allows for intuitive interaction — it took me mere seconds to get my account up and running, and I had my weekly menu plan created in minutes.

This is a great tool for busy families with hungry kids.

You can share recipes with others on Plan to Eat, you can organize your grocery lists by store, and you can tag your recipes in infinite ways. You can even track nutritional information and cost breakdown of all of your recipes and menus! And for those of you that love going paperless, you can use Plan to Eat’s mobile app to carry all your menu planning with you. No more accidentally leaving the house without your grocery list.

Take a tour of Plan to Eat to learn about more of its features.

Giveaway

Plan to Eat is offering an yearly subscription for five Simple Mom readers!

To win, simply leave any comment on this post. (And if you’re reading this in an email, you must click over to the post and comment here.)

This giveaway will end tonight, Saturday, January 28. I’ll announce the winner soon after. I hope you win!

CURRENT SPONSORS:

• Plan to Eat - meal planning made simple.
• The Justice Conference - Justice hangs by a thread.
• Lil' Soak - Sewing hope with handmade goods.
• Treed - A simple, flexible, effective project planning tool.

© 2008-2012 Simple Living Media, LLC | All rights reserved - This feed is provided for the convenience of Simple Mom subscribers. Any reproduction of the content within this feed is strictly prohibited. If you are reading this content elsewhere, please contact hello@simplemom.net to let us know. Thanks.

• Weekend Giveaway: Plan to Eat
• Weekend Giveaway: Plan to Eat
• Weekend Giveaway: Plan to Eat

My word for 2012 is story, but honestly, it kinda ended up being my word for 2011, too. At least, that’s what I see when I look back. See, my family and I, for the first time in a long while, lived in the States for more than a few months, and we did normal things like buy couches off Craigslist and find the best deals in town for ground beef. Tate went to school for kindergarten, we joined a homeschool co-op for first grade, and we finally caught up through season 5 on 30 Rock.

In many ways, these daily liturgies were things I dreamed of when we lived overseas. I grew to love our cross-cultural life, but I’d be lying if there weren’t many days that I longed to completely understand the language spoken around me in coffee shops, for my blonde children to not be stared at, to not be the foreigner. I’d read about my friends’ playdates on Facebook, and I’d yearn for Everyday American Life.

2010 was a blur, because we lived in a waiting room for most of that year. Are we living here? Are we living there? What are we doing for work? And who are you again? But once we knew we’d be stateside for awhile, it felt insanely good to just settle in. Toss the cardboard boxes, and let the kids hang things on the wall. We had complete peace that God was leading us clearly, so we followed excitedly.

We still are. We moved to a brand new town 2,000 miles away, knowing not a soul, and we jumped in with both feet. It was actually easier than we anticipated; I guess because we’d done the same thing four and a half years ago, but in a new culture with a different language. Moving to Oregon was a piece of cake compared to that—we just needed to stock up on polar fleece vests and remember that it’s pronounced Will-AM-ette.

But now that we’re here, living in our passport country, I get the itch. I miss being foreign. I miss everything being interesting. I miss all the good things of other cultures, and wish I could brush away all the bad things about American culture.

More than anything, however, I miss living an adventure.


At my old “grocery store.”

Overseas, I constantly felt like I was in an adventure. Even in the mundane of hanging laundry on the line and standing on the crowded bus with an armful of groceries (and these were most days, mind you), it always felt interesting, because I was wearing foreign lenses. Every bit of life was filtered through my home culture, so life, while frustratingly hard, never failed to at least be interesting.

But my world did a 180 when I went to the Philippines last May with Compassion. I’ve been in plenty of countries and seen my fair share of poverty, so it wasn’t just those things that shook my core. Here I was, visiting a stellar ministry that works among the poorest of the poor, as an average member of western society. As I listened to the volunteers and kissed Filipino cheeks, I represented millions of moms who spend their days making PBJs and driving to Costco. I was now a card-carrying member of the workaday Janes who live in the first culture, and I was visiting the third.

And that’s when it hit me—that adventure can happen anywhere. Story, and living a good one, is deeply etched in every one of us, from the old lady washing her clothes in the river to the 30-something mom loading her Maytag in the suburbs. No matter where we are, we are given the opportunity to write a great story with our words and thoughts and actions, and why? Because we woke up again this morning. We’re alive.

The setting of my story right now is in central Oregon, supporting our sweet Filipino “daughter” through Compassion, and recently sponsoring a new little boy in Ethiopia. We give and pray for many, many friends still living cross-culturally. And we work. Make dinner. Teach school. Fold jammies. Run to Trader Joe’s. And daily, we look at the giant map on our wall in the living room, and remember to care and pray for the rest of the world.

Uncle Ben was right—with great power comes great responsibility. And if we were to equate power with wealth (which is both true and untrue in today’s world), then we average westerners are spectacularly powerful. If the world was only 100 people, then six of us would be Americans, and we would hold half of all the money.

But power unweilded is crazy dangerous—that’s why most lottery winners file for bankruptcy a few years after their big win. Knowledge is essential to using our wealth—financial and otherwise—for good and not evil. We westerners owe it to ourselves and the rest of the world to learn what’s really going on in the world, so that we can wield our power responsibly and ethically.

Here are a few ways how:

• Keep up with the news. And not just the local news—read the international version. BBC is a great place to start to get a non-American perspective on the globe.

• Teach your kids about different countries and cultures. Make it a normal part of your everyday life.

• Have a globe or map in your home. Refer to it often, and keep them accessible for your children, so they can learn geography.

• And speaking of—learn basic geography. Know the location of Bhutan, and understand the difference between Kazakhstan and Uzbekistan. This year, I’d like to learn all the capitals and countries of Africa, and to be able to place them on a map.

• Spend your money wisely. Invest where it matters, and don’t spend where it doesn’t. Head here to see how wealthy you are.

• Learn, learn, learn. Listen to speakers who know what’s really going on around the world, and read their books. Be a student of the world and its current issues.

One life-changing way to do this last one—learn—is to go to The Justice Conference. Held in Portland, Oregon, this year’s gathering is February 24-25. Put simply, The Justice Conference is gathering of people—from activists to stay-at-home moms—collaborating to restore the fabric of justice. Everyone is invited to learn how irreplaceable they are.

This conference was created by our pastor here in Bend, and it has a stellar speaker line-up. (Jamie’s husband’s organization, Love146, will be there, too.) It looks amazing. Take a chance and sign up. Follow The Justice Conference on Twitter. And learn how you’re important to the world, even in the midst of kissing owies in suburban America.

They also have a great video that beautifully explains what justice actually is:

And even if you can’t go, continually be a student, wherever you are. Intentionally choose to remove the blinders that keep you out of the loop of what’s really going on. The world will be better for it.

What do you do in your everyday life to live an adventure? How does your story, wherever you are, impact the world?

CURRENT SPONSORS:

• Plan to Eat - meal planning made simple.
• The Justice Conference - Justice hangs by a thread.
• Lil' Soak - Sewing hope with handmade goods.
• Treed - A simple, flexible, effective project planning tool.

© 2008-2012 Simple Living Media, LLC | All rights reserved - This feed is provided for the convenience of Simple Mom subscribers. Any reproduction of the content within this feed is strictly prohibited. If you are reading this content elsewhere, please contact hello@simplemom.net to let us know. Thanks.

• Living a good story means living outside yourself
• What happens when your story changes?
• Living a Good Story in the Chaos