Simple Mom

Four Fun Ways to Practice Playful Parenting

Megan — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 05:01:18 +0000

Written by kids columnist Megan Tietz of Sorta Crunchy.

It is summertime, and the livin’ is easy . . . until you and your children hit that summer wall. You’ve exhausted your list of “fun stuff to fill the time,” the much-anticipated excursions are now just sweet memories, and the lack of rhythm and routine finally just catches up with everyone.

I don’t know if this is how the waning weeks of summer looks for your family, but to be very honest, we have been struggling lately. I have had to reach deep into my parenting toolbox to come up with effective, practical, and positive ways to maintain a somewhat peaceful home.

Although I have not read Lawrence Cohen’s Playful Parenting, I have gleaned enough of the basic premise to cobble together a few ways of keeping the mood light when storm clouds start to gather in the eyes of my daughters.

Because I want to do more than just endure these last days of summer, I’ve been extremely open to any approach to parenting that allows me to enjoy my children – even if I have to act really silly in the process!

1. Start the Day with Play

Photo by dariuszka

This sounds too simple to be effective, but I can testify to the fact that it really does work! For the past few weeks, I’ve been starting the day by taking the girls outside and playing with them. We run in the grass, we dig in the dirt, we color the sidewalks with chalk, and then we head inside for baths, ready to start the day.

I have noticed a considerable reduction in the whining and clinginess since we started this new routine. In fact, the girls seem much more interested in playing with each other (instead of fighting) and entertaining themselves when we have started our day with free play. And notably, the days we skip morning playtime have a tendency to not turn out quite so well.

2. Insta-Puppet

In her books on childhood, author Susan Linn writes on the amazing way children respond to puppets. Both of my girls adore puppets and this can make for wonderful distraction and redirection – if you have a puppet nearby.

I have found that I can simply transform my plain old boring hand into a puppet character who can swoop in and intervene whenever she is called upon.

For some reason, a silly voice and a hand that talks is goofy enough to get my children to smile just a little bit. More often than not, that little smile and that momentary break from the intensity of the situation are just what my child needs to relax and reframe the situation that had been so upsetting.

3. Shake It Out

Photo by Ctd 2005

This has been a lifesaver for the past few days. When mean words start flying, I find the grouchy child and say, “Oh no! Listen to those Meanies coming out of you. Let’s just shake them all out right now!” Then I scoop her up in my arms, flip her upside down, and shake the crankies away. Neither of my girls can resist it – they both erupt into laughter, and usually the one who wasn’t even being a Meanie wants a good upside-down shaking, too!

4. The “Cereal Trick”

In their book How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish describe an approach to help kids get unstuck from something upsetting.

In the illustration, a toddler asks his mother for a certain kind of cereal, a cereal that they don’t have in the house. Instead of arguing back and forth over the cereal, the mom tells her little one, “I wish I had the magic power to make a giant box appear!” The authors write, “Sometimes just having someone understand how much you want something makes the reality easier to bear.”

I like to take this technique and run with it. For example, one day our two-year-old was angry and pouting over not being able to go to the zoo that day. Instead of trying to explain how it was too hot and the animals wouldn’t be out and we would all be cranky and disappointed, I said, “I wish we had a zoo right in our backyard. Wouldn’t that be so cool? What animals would you like to have in a backyard zoo? Oh yes, definitely crocodiles. How about giraffes? Yes, and hippos, too! Hey, let’s draw a picture of our backyard zoo!”

At almost three, she doesn’t have the skill or attention span to create an elaborate depiction of her fantasy zoo, but playfully creating a fantasy seems help smooth over the feelings of frustration and disappointment that are often the source of unpleasant behaviors.

Sometimes as grown-ups, we feel just a little too grown up to indulge in playful parenting. Give it a try — I think both you and your children will be surprised at the difference it makes in the mood in your home.

For further reading:

The Parent Vortex: Review of Playful Parenting
The Organic Sister: Playful Parenting, My Thoughts
Totally Smitten Mama: Don’t Smile

Have you tried some playful parenting? My suggestions might work best for the five-and-under crowd, so I would be so interested to hear how playful parenting has worked for older children. For parents of children in all age groups – what are your best solutions for keeping the atmosphere in your home peaceful and enjoyable?

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Four Fun Ways to Practice Playful Parenting is a post from Simple Mom

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12 Ideas for Frugal Artwork

Tsh — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 05:01:28 +0000

Having moved countless times in the past decade, I’ve grown to appreciate a minimalist look to the decor in my home. The stuff we’ve chosen to keep and hang on our walls is stuff we truly love.

There are so many great choices for art, there’s no need to default to cookie cutter motel room-style art. An added bonus? So much of it can be done frugally.

Here’s a peek at some of the art in our home (and art from our previous apartment overseas), along with some very cool ideas from others around the blogosphere.

1. Letter wall

Our last name begins with O, which is an easy letter to find on the cheap (think oval-shaped frames). But it’s still not too difficult to find just about any letter in unexpected places.

Photo by Kyle Oxenreider

Most of our Os were found in random shops here and there. Craft shops sell some you can easily paint or decoupage; you can also print a large-sized letter in a nifty font and frame the page. Several of the smaller letters on our wall are actually Christmas ornaments, and most recently, I found several at Urban Outfitters.

2. Circle art

A few years ago I used this idea from Heidi at Mt. Hope Chronicles – it’s a simple canvas decoupaged with scrapbook paper circles. This one hung in our previous master bedroom:

And this one was in our kids’ playroom:

We had to leave them with friends because they just don’t pack well for an international flight, but I plan to make more circle art wherever we land next. It’s an easy way to pack a punch of color, and it’s fun to make, too.

3. Fabric on canvas

Squares of fabric are also an easy way to add color to a wall. Simply stretch a piece of fabric onto a canvas (or simple wood frame) and voila — instant art on the cheap.

Photo by Kyle Oxenreider

These are fat quarters from my local fabric store, stretched (and masking taped!) on to square wood frames found at Goodwill for $.75 each.

4. Children’s book prints

Photo by Kyle Oxenreider

Kids’ books have the best art. The best. And since I can’t bear to tear pages out of our beloved library, I simply scanned some of our favorite books and printed them on high-quality photo paper.

Photo by Kyle Oxenreider

I then spray painted a collection of thrift store frames in blue, yellow, and red for original, meaningful art for our kids’ bedroom.

5. Blankets and quilts

About a year ago I had fabric scraps and cloth napkins that I couldn’t bear to part with, but they didn’t really have a specific project destiny. So I quickly stitched them together, backed it with a simple sheet, and sewed ribbon loops on top.

It hung on our kids’ bedroom wall, but they were allowed to play with it anytime they needed a fort or flag. When they were done, they just hung it back up.

6. An original painting (signed by the artist, I’m sure)

Photo by Meredith

I love love love this idea from Meredith at Like Merchant Ships. She purchased an inexpensive, oversized painting off Craigslist, then had her daughter go to town with paint.

It works well because Meredith first painted a blank slate of white over the original, and because it’s so huge – it makes such a modern yet sentimental statement.

7. Plates

Photo by The Nester

Nester at Nesting Place wrote awhile back here about using plates to decorate your home. Mismatched plates are abundant finds at thrift stores, and put together as a collage, they can look classic, modern, vintage, or funky.

Plate hangers are easily found at craft stores like Michael’s and Hobby Lobby.

8. Embroidery hoops

Photo by Amanda Soule

Amanda at Soule Mama, handmade genius, has some of her family’s embroidery projects and simple fabric swatches hanging on her walls with simple hoops serving as the frame. Original and frugal.

9. Framed scrapbook paper

In our previous apartment we displayed scrapbook paper in simple frames from Ikea (also shown in the top photo). You can also use wrapping paper or wallpaper and achieve the same look.

10. Wall dots

Photo by Jessica Levitt

I bought the cake circles for this when I first saw it on Jessica Levitt’s blog, but never got around to creating it (moving overseas and having a baby will do that to you). If you have a needle and thread, fabric scraps or fat quarters, and cardboard, you can easily make these wall dots!

Instant color, and easy change for seasons and moods. Love it.

11. Travel and concert souvenirs

Photo by Sharilyn

Instead of celebrating a great concert or memorable vacation with a t-shirt or side table tchotchke, why not buy art? You can find the coolest concert posters, maps, travel advertising, and city logos in unexpected places. Check flea markets and thrift stores on your travels, or check online at one of your favorite musicians’ website for promotional materials.

Last week, Sharilyn at Lovely Design gave a tour of her walls, and she has one of the most amazing, personal poster collections I’ve seen. Check it out and be inspired.

12. Your kids’ scribbles

Yep, those daily productions from crayons, marker, and paint can become sweet little works of art with the right display. Frame them in inexpensive frames and hang them at kids’ eye level, and you’ve got a gallery they can show off.

Rotate their art every few weeks to keep things mixed and to display their artistic progress (read about more ideas on what to do with that plethora of kids’ art).

13. Support artists and buy their art

Art by John W. Golden

Yes, original paintings are expensive. Prints of paintings are not. You can find some high-quality, low price artwork and photography on Etsy — some of my favorites are:

Sarah Jane Designs
Orange Studio
The Wheatfield
John W. Golden (he’s got a BOGO sale going on right now)
Fall Down Tree
Cabbages and Kings
Belle and Boo

I also really like the posters at The Poster List. Good prices, too.

So there’s really no excuse for run-of-the-mill artwork hanging in your home — the options are endless.

What’s your favorite frugal, original way to spice up the walls in your home?

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Weekend Links

Tsh — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 05:01:59 +0000

101 Things to Do This Summer :: Love and Be Loved
25 Healthy Meals in 20 Minutes or Less :: Raise Healthy Eaters
Printable Alphabet Bunting :: Ruffled (via How About Orange)
The Power (and Peril) of Praising Your Kids :: New York Magazine
Dos and Don’ts with Babies :: Cool Stuff (hilarious!)

“Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you.” -Langston Hughes

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How to have a completely peaceful car ride with three small kids

Tsh — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 05:01:06 +0000

My husband has this little joke whenever the three-foot-and-under crowd in our family gets insanely loud en route somewhere. He pretends to press an invisible button near the A/C of our car, which magically scrolls up a sound-proof window between us in the front seat and those in the back. You know, like in a limo.

Total peace after that.

Obviously there’s still cacophony. The baby is screaming because that burp just won’t get out. Our second is loudly singing to whatever tune is on repeat in his head (he doesn’t talk, but he sure hums in pealing decibels). The five-year-old sits in the back, telling us whatever story from the day she wants to recall, yelling over all the hubbub so that we can hear from the front.

It doesn’t always work this way, but most days, Kyle and I look at each other, and we just smile. Sometimes one of says, “Three? Really?” But at the end of the day, if we don’t laugh at the chaos of it all, we’ll go mad.

See, it’s a matter of perspective.

When the bedlam is good-natured and the clamor is simply because our family’s median age is five, then there’s not much to do except smile and remember that the days are long but the years are short.

How’s your perspective? When your day is nuts and the house is a mess, do you feel like a failure? In taking a quick glance at the living room and recognizing that 95 percent of the mess is because of the kids, do you still somehow feel guilty?

Are you counting your blessings?

I know that life at this stage is insane. I’ll be the first in line to wish it wasn’t so messy, so sticky, so loud. I’ve given up hope that by the end of the day, I’ll never have anything smeared on my shirt that I didn’t directly put there — at least for another decade or so.

I’m not saying I never get frustrated or impatient — far from it. But I’m also learning, day by day, to embrace all the good with the bad that come with this stage, and to smile at all those voices vying for my attention from the back seat.

They’re totally worth it.

What helps you plow through all the chaos and embrace your day?

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How to have a completely peaceful car ride with three small kids is a post from Simple Mom

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Back to basics: Create a home that will last generations

Emily — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 05:01:04 +0000

Written by home columnist Emily Walker of Remodeling This Life.

New or old, every home has a story. Every story begins somewhere, and some go back farther than others. One of the benefits to our recent economy is this: more people are buckling down, staying still, finding contentment with where they are and learning to love the homes they live in.

As new construction slows and older homes are being lived in and loved, each home is telling more stories from one single family than they might have otherwise. In this shift to getting back to basics, home has become a haven rather than a savings account — a place to share memories and build a foundation for generations to enjoy and appreciate.

Here are some ideas about making your home one that will tell stories for generations.

1. Plant a forever garden.

Photo by Emily Walker

One of my favorite things about the last house I lived in was the garden. Each spring, the labor and love from the previous owner shined through in the foliage that bloomed all around. Not only is it low maintenance, but what you plant will tell a story about you — that you used your hands, what colors you loved, and what flowers made you smile each day when you walked out your door.

2. Leave your mark.

Old homes have character. They show signs of life in the nooks and crannies (and I’m not talking about bugs). An old pantry door or a door frame can be used to measure the heights of all the kids who visit – telling the tale of growth, laughter, and pounding feet that race around the floors of your home.

Every ding and dent in your walls and furniture aren’t necessarily flaws to cover up – they add charm and character and will tell stories of a home that was lived in and loved.

3. Personalize it: make a memory wall.

Photo by Travis Isaacs

A wall full of family photos, meaningful items from trips together and personalized artwork shows moments of real life in your home. You’ll take those things with you when you move away, but while you’re there, they can remind you of what matters in your home – not the furnishings or fixtures, but the moments created by the people inside.

4. Make it yours.

How many people do you know that, when they finally sell their home, do all the things they should’ve enjoyed before? Paint your rooms the colors you want them now. Make your guest room an office or personal space instead. Use your space like it is yours, forever.

Don’t live with beige walls if you love color just because beige is better for when you’ll sell… in ten years Make your home yours – the way you love it. Make changes for someone else later.

Homes are built to last and sustain your moments and memories for generations.

Tell us about your home — what have you done to make it yours? What does it say about your family?

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I’m back, in more ways than one.

Tsh — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 05:01:34 +0000

Hi. I’m back from my maternity leave.

I hope you enjoyed those 23 guest posts while I was away from this little place (twenty-three!). I loved everyone’s perspective shared on all kinds of topics, from potty training infants, to why dirt is good for you, to why adopting is such a beautiful thing.

I was reminded how much I love this space, what Simple Living Media has become, and how community-oriented we are. Thank you, both to the writers and the readers, for making this a place I love. I hope you do, too.

I’ve been pretty busy, mostly because of this little guy:

On June 11, our family gladly welcomed baby number three, Finn. He was joined by his big sister Tate and big brother Reed, and our life has been a three-ring circus ever since. How did the back seat of the car get so loud?

A refreshing perspective

Stepping away from anything for a good while resets your perspective on the thing; frees you to see your landscape from a new angle. This maternity leave did just that for my relationship with this blog.

I started Simple Mom in February 2008, ironically during the hallowed newborn weeks of my second-born. I wanted a creative space to jot down my thoughts on parenting and home management, and quite unexpectedly, it took off like a rocket.

This was the first time since Simple Mom’s inception that I took a nice, long, much-needed break from writing and editing and designing, and quite delightfully, I was reminded of how much I love this little thing I do.

I want to get back to its roots. I want to be a bit more personal. I want to keep writing on the things that I love — I just want to be a bit more transparent.

In short, it’s important to me that the writers on this blog remain real people here, with real ideas and experiences and faults (they always have been, but I’m not always sure it’s been interpreted that way). I want to make sure Simple Mom stays simple, that it doesn’t unintentionally morph into an archive of useful articles and that’s all.

It’s on a good path. It is. I just want to make sure it stays on it.

This means I’ll be sharing more of me, using my photos, and chatting with you in the comments section.

I’m a wife and mom. A writer. An entrepreneur. A global nomad who’s not quite sure where we’re going to live at this time next year. I like to read, write, be outside, and drink coffee. I miss walking everywhere, and am a bit weary of the American infrastructure that requires so much driving. When I write for this blog, I usually listen to Andrew Bird, St. Vincent, Sufjan Stevens, or Grizzly Bear in the background. Just because I like them a lot.

I’d like to know if you’d like to know more. I’ve told you lots of times that I’m just a regular gal, running a home, parenting littles, and learning new ways to do those things while still thriving with my head above water. Sometimes I do well. Many times I crawl into bed with my knees shaking.

I’m not perfect. I’m right there with you, in the trenches, documenting it with my fingers on a laptop.

What kinds of things would you like to see more of here on Simple Mom? How about on the other SLM blogs I help spin — Bites, Homeschool, Kids, and Organic?

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Weekend Links

Tsh — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 05:01:21 +0000

Breastfeeding often eliminates the use of one hand while sitting down for a few minutes (or longer…), so that means I’ve been consuming more than producing out in the blog world the past month. Kinda exhausting to type one-handed after awhile. So it’s been fun to get back into actually reading blogs, something I haven’t done in a long while.

Here are some of my favorite posts I’ve read lately…

Plan index :: Knock-off Wood (I especially love this playhouse deck)
Ice Cream Social | Badskirt and Oliver + S (I think I’m going to do this)
Birthday month 2010 :: Draw! Pilgrim (A whole month of birthday-themed printables)
Mexican dinner, family style :: GOOP (a super-easy meal)
Are you spending intentionally? :: Frugal Dad
A brief history of popsicles :: Smithsonian Magazine (with a little nod to Simple Bites)
6 tips for surviving sleep deprivation :: Zen Habits (umm… I’m not having to deal with this at all right now)
What are you the best in the world at? :: Crafting an MBA
How to make a skirt in 30 seconds :: Cute Circuit (I haven’t actually tried this, but I’m intrigued…)
A virtual home tour — here, here, here, and here so far :: Organizing Your Way (I just love Mandi’s house)

Thanks to the many, many of you who’ve contributed such fabulous stuff during my maternity leave! It’s been so good to have a short break with my three littles and hubby — a good breather to evaluate what I do and why I do it. I love it, by the way… I look forward to getting back to writing.

I’ll be back this Monday! Enjoy your weekend.

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Creating Post-Vacation Peace for Your Children

Megan — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 05:01:08 +0000

I’m on maternity leave from June 11 to July 16: The following is a guest post from Simple Kids contributor Megan Tietz of Sorta Crunchy, and it was originally published on July 8, 2009.

The summer months offer families a time to get away, enjoy a change in scenery, and breathe some fresh air. Whether the days away are filled with sightseeing, hiking, sailing, amusement parks, or lazy days at the beach, the relaxed and refreshed spirit that has been nurtured by a vacation can quickly be quenched by chaos once your key turns in the lock of your front door.

Vacation recovery can be particularly hard for kids. Physically, they may not have gotten enough sleep while they were away, and they may have engaged in more physical activity than is normal for them. Emotionally, they are coming down from that “vacation high” and may experience feelings of sadness and disappointment that The Big Trip has come to an end.

As a parent, you will set the tone for the transition from vacation to routine. Your children will mirror the way you approach the first few days after you arrive home. Here are three suggestions for creating peace and harmony as you and your children navigate the re-entry into the rhythms of real life.

1. Be proactive.

One of the underlying mottos of Simple Mom is “when Mom is doing well, the whole family thrives.” Take the time before you leave for vacation to outline what makes you feel the most at peace when you return from a trip. Then, no matter how frenzied things get before you walk out the door, invest some time in doing the things you know will make yourself feel calm and collected when you return.

For me, this means making sure the trash has been carried out, the beds are made, and the vacuum cleaner has been run. These are non-negotiable tasks for me. What inspires peace within you when you return to your home? Make it a priority to see that these are done.

In addition to setting the scene for an orderly return for yourself, you might also take some time to set up a comforting, welcoming atmosphere that your children will appreciate. If your children are young, make sure that their rooms have been picked up and that a cozy pair of pajamas and a favorite bedtime story are waiting on a neatly made and turned-down bed.

Encourage older children to make up their own lists of what makes them feel good when they arrive home from vacation, and oversee the actions they will need to take to create a tranquil “welcome home” scene for themselves.

2. Be realistic.

Whether you are young or old, spending several days or several weeks out of your usual routine can cause inner turbulence. It is not realistic to expect that you or your children will snap back the routines and patterns of everyday life immediately. Likewise, the suitcases may not be immediately unpacked, nor will the laundry be washed, dried, folded, and put away in an instant.

Determine the number of days for a realistic vacation recuperation time, and block that time off of your family’s calendar. The weekend after returning home from a trip may not be the most appropriate time to host a neighborhood cook-out, and it’s not thoughtful to plan a week’s worth of camp or other activities for your child following a family vacation.

Photo by Sharon Mollerus

3. Be gentle.

Remember, the goal here is to allow the refreshed and relaxed vacation mood to linger as long as possible. A mindful, slowed-down approach to the days following a family vacation will go a long way towards promoting peace in your home. Don’t get so caught up in getting back to the routines of life that you overlook or diminish your child’s need for a time of transition.

Emotions and feelings are not neat and orderly. Stop and listen. Offering a nurturing spirit and a calming touch is more important that folding and putting away clothes. Older children may want to talk about and relive some of their favorite moments from the trip. Uploading and printing out pictures or capturing thoughts in a vacation journal demonstrates to your children that you also want to honor the time you spent together as a family. These are the memories your children will want to hold on to – not how quickly you got the suitcases unpacked and stored away.

For home managers who are generally organized, the disorganization following vacation can be stressful. For the free-spirited home manager, the motivation and desire to get back on track might get lost in the tumult. Take some deep breaths, focus on the big picture, and remind yourself that vacation recovery doesn’t last forever. Eventually life will settle back into its familiar groove. Even in the midst of chaos, you can make a pathway for peace.

Do you find the days following vacation to be a challenge within your family? What are your biggest hurdles to a peaceful recovery? What have you discovered works best to get your family settled in and ready to ease back in to the rhythms of life?

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6 Military Mom Tips for Flying Solo

Eren — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 15:24:42 +0000

I’m on maternity leave from June 11 to July 16: The following is written by Simple Organic contributor Eren Hays San Pedro of Vintage Chica.

A few months ago a fellow Navy wife and her children were over for a playdate. While we sat on the patio and watched the kids play in the backyard, she and I started talking about one of the main issues military moms face…parenting solo while our husbands are away.

We military mothers find ourselves in an interesting position at times being the sole parent while still having a partner. Not quite a single parent. But not having a fully present parenting partner either.

Later that evening, it occurred to me that military wives are not the only mothers who find themselves flying solo from time to time. We will all find ourselves being the sole parent at one time or another.

It could be that your spouse is away for a week long conference for work. Or perhaps one person needs to fly home to help an aging parent. Or just maybe you are a mom, like me who finds herself flying solo for longer periods of time while my husband serves in the U.S. military.

No matter the reason, or the length of time apart, parenting can be tough when flying solo.

But military moms are “the quiet professionals”, the special operations of motherhood, when it comes to parenting alone.

I thought I would share a few military mom tips and tricks for getting through the trials of parenting through periods of separation.

Hopefully a few of these tips will help you the next time you find yourself flying solo…even if it is just for a few days.

1. Take Advantage of the Time

Never feel like there is time to get the things done in the house that YOU want to get done? Here’s your chance! Repaint your bedroom. Get a massage. Have a girlfriend over for a late night chat after the kids are in bed. Watch a Gone With the Wind marathon. I even have a friend who remodeled her entire kitchen the way she wanted it while her husband was out to sea. Now I am not saying that you should go that far — she had a lot of explaining to do when her spouse returned. But this time alone is a great time to focus on the things that are important to you and maybe not so important to him.

2. Keep Busy

Don’t just wait until your spouse gets home to get out of the house. Schedule outings every few days, even if it is just to visit a friend at her house. Keeping busy will help the time fly by and you’ll have so much to tell your partner when they return.

3. Countdown to the Reunion

Military moms are great at this. There are many ways of counting down until reunion day, and a countdown helps both you and your little ones see reunion day growing closer.

Fill a jar with the same number of jelly beans (or any other candy) as days the traveling parent will be gone and eat one every day until they are home.
Make a paper chain with one link for every day your spouse will be away. Each day break away one chain. You can even write one fun activity to do that day on the chain. Make cookies. Take a nature walk. Mail a letter.
On your regular calendar write down one thing you love about your spouse everyday until they return. Then copy this list and give it to them as a “Happy You Are Home” gift.

4. Make Time For Yourself

Just like the flight attendant tells you on an airplane before takeoff, make sure you put the oxygen mask on yourself before your children. You must take care of yourself if you are going to have anything to give back to your children. Hire a sitter to get some time away. And if you can’t hire a sitter, work it out with a friend to trade babysitting. Even if it is just to go grocery shopping, time away from your kiddos is valuable and necessary for your sanity.

If you have family nearby, arrange for a regular schedule, say two mornings a week, where you can get some time to run errands or eat lunch with a friend. Heck, even take a nap!

5. Keep Up the Communication

One of the toughest parts of being apart is staying on the same page with your partner while separated. Use technology like email, Twitter and Skype to keep the other parent in the know with regard to the kids.

Children change quickly…so our parenting must keep up. A week or so before my husband returns, we do a parenting debrief. I give my husband a heads up on what our schedule looks like and make sure he is aware of any major changes since he left. Also, make sure to share with your spouse any behavior issues that he needs to know about. Nothing like walking into the throes of potty training without being prepared for what you’re walking into.

6. Give Yourself Some Grace

There is no way to possibly be BOTH mother and father. So give yourself a little slack. Order pizza a little more often. We’ve had popcorn and Gatorade for dinner more than once while my husband is away. Put the kids to bed 30 minutes earlier so that you can take a longer bubble bath. Give them dessert on Fridays AND Tuesdays if it helps. Take deep breaths and know that separation and parenting is hard, even for those of us that do it all the time.

And know that there is no way to be a perfect mother, but there are a million ways to be a great mother!

Even when you are flying solo.

A huge thanks to Rob Bixby Photography and Operation: Love Reunited for the use of his beautiful photographs.

Are you facing a separation soon? Or are you a veteran? What are your tips for flying solo?

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6 Military Mom Tips for Flying Solo is a post from Simple Mom

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Creating a Kid-Friendly Yard to Promote Outdoor Play

Mandi — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 05:01:05 +0000

Written by organizing columnist Mandi Ehman of Organizing Your Way.

One of my favorite parts about spring and summer is how much more time my kids are able to spend outside. They argue less, use their imaginations more and sleep better after a long day of playing hard outside.

When it comes to our yard, our goal is to create simple landscaping that invites our children to explore and enjoy being outside. For this reason, we try not to include plants or features that will leave us constantly saying, “No,” “Don’t touch that,” “Be careful,” et cetera.

Here are a few tips of my tips for creating a kid friendly yard.

1. Emphasize open space.

The size of your yard obviously plays a role in how much open space you have, and for some people it just might not be possible to leave much. But open space invites children to explore, imagine and just play. It also leaves them more room to run around and get their extra energy out, which is always a good thing!

2. Plant a variety of flowers and plants.

Having a variety of plants – and/or fruits and veggies – growing in your yard or garden allows kids to watch the natural progression as plants grow, bud and flower. They get to see the flowers fall off and the plants go dormant in the fall and winter. They’ll see firsthand the effects of different amounts of rain and sun on the plants. And the flowers will attract butterflies, honeybees and other insects for kids to observe as well.

3. Be aware of safety concerns.

Avoid plants and flowers that are poisonous and landscaping that poses a danger. If your children are young, this would include water features (no matter how shallow the pool of water) as well as stone work with sharp edges. Keep children out of tall grasses until they’re old enough to watch for snakes.

Avoid pesticides and fertilizers, especially in areas where kids may play in the grass or pick flowers. Providing a safe environment means your children will be able to enjoy the yard more often because you won’t have to hover over them when they’re outside.

Photo by Robert Terrell

4. Have a space to build or create.

Most children love to dig and build and discover. Provide a sandbox or an area of your yard that can be dug up without ruining your beautiful yard to satisfy this natural curiosity. We don’t have many outdoor toys, but shovels and buckets are on the must-have list!

5. Engage their imaginations.

I love the idea of creating a sunflower house or hideaway for my kids by planting a border of sunflowers and a flooring of soft grass. If you live near the woods or have old trees in your yard, you can use those to create forts and hideaways as well.

We recently played at an outdoor area that simply had large rocks placed throughout an open area, and my kids would have played for hours if we’d let them. All of these ideas have one thing in common: they use natural materials to invite children to use their imagination to create a magical place of their own.

6. Create a space to relax.

Having a place to rest and relax outside is just as important as having a place to play. On the hottest days of summer, we often have to coax our girls to stay outside when they’d really rather not. Instead of forcing them to continue playing (because, really, that tends to take the fun right out of it!), we invite them to sit on the porch or the patio — whichever happens to be in the shade at the time — and read books, have a picnic snack or do a craft.

Do you have a kid friendly yard? Have you found the balance between having a beautiful yard and one that the whole family can enjoy?

CURRENT SPONSORS:

Oak Meadow - creative homeschooling since 1975.
Mabel's Labels - labels for the stuff kids lose.
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Plan to Eat - eating at home should be easier.
Living Crafts - craft your whole life.

Creating a Kid-Friendly Yard to Promote Outdoor Play is a post from Simple Mom

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