Simplistic Reviews

A Simplistic Review: Justice League Dark: Apokolips War

2020-05-09T07:48:00.000-07:00

Look. I rarely write reviews anymore. I typically save my written praise or vitriol for something that truly affects me. A Mad Max: Fury Road or a Last Jedi. Most of the time, I let the ones smarter than I break down the films and TV shows because I have a tendency to lean into my emotions on things when breaking down their strengths or weaknesses. But then there are some emotions I can not quell. Some emotions that wake me up in the middle of the night on a Saturday and have me pouring my thoughts down on paper as though I were in a trance. And in this film's case, it is a trance of pure hatred. So, let's talk about the latest and last film in the current DC Animated Universe as presently constituted. Let's talk about Justice League Dark: Apokolips War. (Slight Spoilers)

I am sick and tired of living in an era of entertainment where filmmakers taking over a classic property are keen on tearing down said classic property, leaving it unrecognizable to what it is intended to be and doing it under the thin veil of "it's different" or "subverted expectations". If you are going to deconstruct a character as classic as Superman or Batman or Wonder Woman or the Justice League and it not be a satire like the Harley Quinn animated show, you better have a deft hand. A brilliant hand. The hands behind Justice League Dark: Apokolips War did not act with any deftness or brilliance that I could see. To me, they acted with the intent of a 14-year-old bully tearing apart a kid's comic books because they think comics are stupid and wanted to see how the kid would react by doing so.

Talk about the film? Right. Sorry. The "film" centers around the Justice League's assault on the villainous Darkseid and his planet of Apokolips and the fallout after the battle, seen through the eyes of the always reluctant John Constantine. And from the word "go"...they f*%k up Superman. From...the word..."go"! The beacon of hope and truth and justice and pragmatism makes a brash decision to have the JLA attack and kill...KILL...Darkseid, a guy who would dishrag Thanos without a second blush. A decision Superman so fervently believes in, he throws a rage-filled destructive hissy fit when he is questioned. Questioned with reason and logic by, of all people, Lex friggin' Luthor. So right there, ten minutes into this film, I checked out. And I still had an hour in a half to go. But I knew it wouldn't get better because in this short time the creators of this film have shown me they either hate Superman or think he's an irrational idiot. And by association, they've made Batman and Wonder Woman equally stupid by having them go along with this plan. Batman puts his literal kids in harm's way to go along with a murder plan that is about a step away from "Hulk Smash" in terms of strategy on Darkseid.

If I have to point to things I liked, it would be Matt Ryan as Constantine. The guy certainly loves this character since he's been playing him in some iteration since 2014, and it shows. This is likely his last time voicing him and that saddens me. He and his relationship with Etrigan the Demon and the callously refrigeratored Zatanna were the only cool breeze in this burning desert of disappointment I had.

I'm sure people love this sorta thing and that's their right. But I hate it. I hate lazy, A to let's skip B and C so we can just get to D, shock and awe storytelling solely to gain shock and awe through the quickest route. I used to think the Killing Joke animated film was the worst, most offensive DC animated film I'd seen, but this hateful film is by far the worst. I will never watch it again and may just stay away from DC animation for a while until I hear overwhelmingly good things from people I trust. Going in, I didn't even know they were resetting the DC Animated Universe. After I found this out, I was even more upset. This...this is how you're going to do it?

If you want to see a good, smart, respectful, enjoyable approach to this same story and enemy and material...watch the last few episodes of Justice League Unlimited. There they actually give Darkseid, the villain, a motivation, a character, and even bother to mention things like the Anti-Life Equation. What's that you ask? Oh, nothing. Just the one thing Darkseid has ever cared about. Is it mentioned in Justice League Dark: Apokolips War? No...but hey look! One of your favorite comic book characters was just torn in half with their guts splattering on the pseudo camera. Cool huh? Who needs motivation when you can just wallow in displays of base instincts.

Justice League Dark: Apokolips War is like if Eli Roth was forced at gunpoint by Martin Scorsese to make a DC film that would take away the allure of comic book movies forever so people would pay to watch a four hour Irishman re-release. If you think it's fantastic if comic book characters act uncharacteristically while dying horribly, disturbingly, and vacantly with all the gravitas of a jump scare in a bad Blumhouse movie, go and enjoy Justice League Dark: Apokolips War. A film that made me believe the actual apocalypse couldn't be as bad.

(Ep. 124): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast - August 2019

2019-08-17T00:28:00.001-07:00

On this back to school episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast. William Davis Moore, from Miscast Entertainment, sits in for the vacationing Matthew Stewart. The boys discuss...well...The Boys...TV series...they also briefly discuss the only Oscar-winning film to have a money shot in it (Can you guess what it is?)...they tackle the TransAtlantic accent and finally reveal the real person behind Warner Brothers. All That and Moore...see what I did there? Because William Davis Moore is on the...nevermind...All that and some stoking of the flames surrounding that old rumor about William Shatner's late wife...yeah we went there...on the August Edition of the Simplistic Review Podcast.

NOTES

Shatner's Wife

The Boys Airplane Scene

The TransAtlantic Accent

Pennyworth

Lobo on Krypton

Lex Luthor Stole 40 Cakes

(Ep. 123): Stone Cold - Movie Commentary: August 2019

2019-08-11T21:07:00.001-07:00

Stone Cold

R 1991 ‧ Thriller/Action ‧ 1h 35m

A street-smart cop goes undercover to infiltrate and bring to justice a ruthless motorcycle gang before they can carry out their plans of tyranny and murder.

Release date: May 17, 1991 (USA)

Director: Craig R. Baxley

MGM...oh MGM. Your copyright happy trigger finger was at it again. Nothing like editing Stone Cold a few times only to have you take it down again and again. Fun stuff MGM...fun stuff.

Take a journey with DJ and Justin to a simpler time, were MGM made fun and exciting movies existed. Sure, MGM has lost it ways these days but there was a time they made enjoyable films. No, I'm not salty over the pull downs - but Stone Cold is a fun ride. And lets not pull punches here, no one pulls off the business in the front and party in the back like Brian mother F-ing Bosworth!

So, take a ride with us as we watch 90s Stone Cold and now faith-based action star, The Boz!

Yeah, the guy from Stone Cold does faith based action movies now, hey everyone has to make a living.

A Simplistic Review: Once Upon a Time In...Hollywood

2019-07-27T19:08:00.001-07:00

As you get older you come to TERMS with many things. One, getting older; Two, time is running out to leave a mark on the world; and maybe even three is the fact that people are simply waiting in the wings to call you out for being a hack or completely undeserving of your success.

For all intents and purposes, I'm talking about Quentin Tarantino's newest film, "Once Upon a Time in...Hollywood," and while I might have more quibbles with this film more than his pervious eight (or nine if you include the damn near perfect "Death Proof") "Hollywood" is a film about a Hollywood in which Tarantino fell in love with in a time where America was, perhaps, as fractured as it is right now.

As in many of QT's later films, starting with "Inglourious Basterds," he subverts expectations and creates a world he wants to live in on his own TERMS.

Top to bottom, the performances are great but the pacing drags in parts. We get some fresh foot shots that have been missing from his last couple of films, and you have to love that QT still loves him some feet.

Ultimately, where does this film fall in the Tarantino filmography. We critics love this, we live for these moments where we can tell YOU how good this film is! Sure, lists are super fun, and while I personally put this in my lower 3rd of his filmography, the fact remains that even with his being what I might think one of his "weakest" entires, it's still better than 98% of films being released on a weekly basis.

A Simplistic Review: Spider-Man: Far From Home

2019-07-22T19:24:00.001-07:00

I've certainly been sitting on this review for a while, but after a fair amount of thought, it was time to say what I think about "Spider-Man: Far From Home." After the grandeur of "Endgame" the end of MCU's Phase Three just feels SMALL.

This is of course a film that takes places over four different countries, has dazzling "special effects," another great villain that ties perfectly into the MCU, but there is still something about it that pales in comparison, and perhaps that's unfair, but its where we are right now as we enter a new Phase of Marvel films; I'm saying that a Spider-Man film looks SMALL.

This is why people say we can't have nice things...

(Ep. 122): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast July 2019

2019-07-04T10:03:00.001-07:00

Happy Fourth Of July! A holiday you that’s best with the fireworks that only the Simplistic Reviews Podcast can give you. On this return episode, the boys discuss what they did on their summer break, which includes hospital visits that lead to an interaction with Michael Keaton, their top 3 episodes of Black Mirror, some of Quincy Jones’ best hits…on fellow celebrities, and how much they would need to get paid to let a female soccer player kick them in the nethers. And to top it off, they play the explosive game Simplistic Submarine. All that and more on this comeback episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast

MUSIC Fast Times By IDOLS
Gold Medal By Sounds Like Sander
Variety Time By Tim Garland

NOTES
Alex Morgan
Quincy Jones Rumor About Brando
Black Mirror

Cashville Rules Everything Around Me: Wu-Tang Clan Makes History at The Ryman

2019-06-10T08:08:00.003-07:00

It's an understatement to say seminal hip-hop collective, Wu-Tang Clan, set a standard for all of shows that will come follow at The Ryman Auditorium in Nashville, TN after their show on Sunday night.

The Mother Church of Country turned into "The Mother F'n Church of Hip-Hop," if only for one night.

Courtesy of The Ryman @theryman

Founded in 1892, The Ryman Auditorium is a fixture in Nashville, hosting everyone from Johnny Cash, the Frist Jubilee Singers, Dolly Parton, The Grand Ole Opry, and even Elvis Presley (even if it was only one time). But this time the stage was home to RZA, GZA, "Young" Dirty Bastard, Inspectach Deck, Raekwon the Chef, U-God, Ghostface Killah, Master Killa, Cappadonna, and Method Man performing, in "nearly" its entirety, the record that re-established New York hip-hop as a viable product; 1993's "Enter the Wu-Tang" 36 Chambers."

Along with "36 Chambers" the Clan also performed favorites from "Wu-Tang Forever" like "Reunited," "Ice Cream" from Raekwon's "Only Built 4 Cuban Links" and even Cappadonna got his moment with a verse from one of my personal favorite's "Run" from his debut album, "The Pillage."

The energy was high from the crowd from the beginning to the end.

Courtesy @vaughnphillip via Instagram

RZA led the way most of the show, appreciating the moment and getting the crowd hyped for what came next, and was more than happy the spray Moet into the crowd and even give those in the front row some much deserved Hennessy. I'm sure it Captain Tom Ryman new that one day Hennessy and Moet would cover the floors of his beloved Tabernacle Church he probably wouldn't believe you.

Other highlights included the DJ interlude from resident Wu DJ, Mathematics, who, little trivia for you, actually created the Might Wu "W" that so many guests had adorned on their shirts and hats. There was also the inclusion of Street Life into the show as he joined Method Man for a few verses of "Grid Iron Rap."

But hey, there is always a nit pick with shows like this.

Courtesy of @graperunner via Instagram

With the group all nearly in late 40s or early 50s, you could see the energy tamper out about an hour into the show, namely GZA. At times he seemed pretty disengaged from the show and walked off stage numerous times, including during the encore of Ghostface's "Charchez La Ghost." Sure, the show seemed to have broken down by then as the remained members starting letting audience members on the stage to start dancing, but hey, it's all in fun.

And as any hip-hop show goes, the audio is always tricky. The background music drowned out the MCs more often than not, but if you've ever been to a rap show, you probably know this is a pretty regular occurrence, and the typical motif of every member of the Wu rapping over each other.

But those are quibbles that in no way took away from what this show really was; a moment in Nashville, and Ryman, history that can't be taken away. A historic rap collective put it's stamp on a city that many people blame for being "New Nashville" and not the Nashville they grew up with. Sure, this might open up more doors for hip-hop to be a more common occurrence at the Ryman, but a generational group like Wu-Tang Clan won't be around "forever."

A Simplistic Review: Wu-Tang Clan: Of Mics and Men

2019-06-10T07:12:00.001-07:00

Rap groups come and go. Many have an expiration date, I mean just look at most of the groups from the last 90s and 2000s. Record companies chewed them up and spit them out, but hey, it could have also meant they just weren't very good either.

But as the old adage goes, "Wu-Tang is Forever," even if it shows how FRACTURED they are after you watch Showtime's "Wu-Tang Clan: Of Mics and Men."

The four-part series peers behind the curtain during their making of THE SEMINAL hip-hop record of the 90s "Enter the Wu-Tang: 36 Chambers" shows how they beat the music system by signing a lucrative record deal for each member, but also shows the dark side of management and how the death of Ol' Dirty Bastard essentially imploded the group.

It's a personal look, and plays like an intervention as the group gathers to watch old footage and wax lyrical on their struggles with each other and how the business has changed during their nearly 30 year run.

Simplistic Interviews: Producer Heather Buckley, of "The Ranger"

2019-06-07T18:06:00.002-07:00

On this Simplistic Interview, we sit down with Heather Buckley, producer of the 2018 horror film "The Ranger."

From days writing at Fangoria Magazine to pitching films at Cannes and South by Southwest, Matt and Heather discuss what it was that got her into horror, how inclusion is shaping the horror genre, and essentially how she is an encyclopedia of genre knowledge. Oh, and of course punk rock!

Follow her all over social media too!

Twitter: @_HeatherBuckley
Instagram: www.instagram.com/_heatherbuckley

And of course check out "The Ranger!"

Twitter: @TheRangerMovie
Instagram: @therangermovie
Streaming on Shudder, Amazon Prime, and anywhere else where you can find great horror flicks.

A Simplistic Review: Ma (2019)

2019-06-02T20:19:00.001-07:00

There's nothing like a slow BURN. Just enough time to get some fire in your belly while you wait for everything to really start popping off. That's the delicious BURN I got from Octavia Spencer and "Ma" this weekend.

First thing's first, I'm always a fan of actors or actresses that have won big awards, namely Oscars, and continue to work in the genre field. Spencer looks like she is having the time of her life playing the Veterinarian-turned-psychopath, but there is some meat to this story that cribs ideas from flicks like "Carrie" "The People Under the Stairs" and maybe even "Fatal Attraction."

"Ma" BURNS the house down in it's final 20 or so minutes and creates a memorable new heavy that rivals the likes of Alex Forrest and Anne Wilkes.

A Simplistic Review: Booksmart (2019)

2019-05-28T18:34:00.002-07:00

Man...so people are pissed! Apparently no one saw "Booksmart" over the Memorial Day holiday weekend. The unofficial kickoff to the Summer movie season! People instead saw a live action Disney remake, the story of an unstoppable assassin and they even saw superheroes punch super-villains in the face instead of a film about white people with white problems...what a shock.

Look, I know people are already taking SIDES on "Booksmart." Excuses included;

It's Annapurna's fault for putting it out wide during the holiday. The audience is stupid and doesn't appreciate indie comedies. People aren't ready for female and/or queer leads in their coming-of-age comedies. The list goes on and on...

Honestly, "Booksmart" is fun. I laughed out loud a couple of times. But it's also a derivative story that I've seen before.

Yes, having extensive LGBTQ representation is great, but it's almost window dressing for the main story; friends at the end of their high school friendship. And the problem for so long is still using the LGBTQ community as the side gig to the problems of the straight community. Amy (played by Kaitlyn Dever) shows the struggle and anxiety of being gay, but it just seems to be...I don't know...selling it short. But what do I know, I'm a straight, married, white male.

I digress, I liked "Booksmart" butI also like "Superbad." I guess that shows where I'm at.

A Simplistic Review: Under the Silver Lake

2019-05-25T12:45:00.001-07:00

I see what David Robert Mitchell was doing here.

Hmm, or maybe I don't...regardless.

So you have this KOOKY film, "Under the Silver Lake," where you have Andrew Garfield doing his best impression of Jeff Daniels' The Dude, while he tries to figure out a conspiracy theory that would make Brian De Palma, Alfred Hitchcock and David Lynch blush.

On the surface, I really dig this flick. It's so.....KOOKY. It really has no purpose, it's mainly a series of vignettes that's held together by an insane premise, but it works if you stick with it.

(Ep. 121): Fire Down Below - Movie Commentary: May 2019

2019-05-24T12:17:00.003-07:00

We started this new year off with a film from 90's action star and serial eater, Steven Seagal's Hard to Kill! We continue the Seagal Saga with Fire Down Below, you know the EPA action film...no not that one...the other one...yeah there is another EPA action film.

Fire Down Below

1997 ‧ Thriller/Action ‧ 1h 45m

Description

When an EPA representative is discovered dead in a small Midwestern town, government agent Jack Taggart (Steven Seagal) goes undercover to check things out. He finds that local coal mogul Orin Hanner Sr. (Kris Kristofferson) is cutting financial corners by disposing of hazardous waste wherever he pleases and that local kids are falling ill because of this recklessness. Taggart then works to stop the shady activity and save the town, but Hanner and his thugs soon grow suspicious of him.

Initial release: December 13, 1997 (South Korea)

Director: Félix Enríquez Alcalá

Budget: 42 million USD

Box office: 16.2 million USD

Music composed by: Nick Glennie-Smith

A Simplistic Review: John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum

2019-05-24T07:08:00.000-07:00

There is always a question of who is the BADDEST...

Lance Riddick is the BADDEST concierge.
Halle Berry and Angelica Houston are the BADDEST chicks.
Ian McShane is the BADDEST Hotel Manager.
Mark Dacascos has the BADDEST crew of Indonesian BADASSES this side of Southeast Asia.

oh...

Keanu Reeves is the BADDEST man in "John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum."

A Simplistic Review: Scary Stories (2019)

2019-05-20T20:02:00.001-07:00

Censorship is nothing new. In fact it's a long held American TRADITION to censor things that we are afraid of or we think are doing to destroy the youth.

"We have to protect the youth!" said the old, out of touch white, and black, folk.

But there is also the TRADITION of fighting against the onslaught of people telling other people what to do.

Let's not forget about the TRADITION of tell stories that have been passed on from culture to culture to generations upon generations. "Scary Stories" is the documentary that will hit the nerve of nostalgia while also showing how the culture of censorship continues to plague us as a society.

Click HERE for our interview with the director of "Scary Stories," Cody Meirick. If you want to found out more about this film, click HERE.

A Simplistic Review: The Ranger (2018)

2019-05-11T21:54:00.001-07:00

Well someone had to take these big city punks down a peg or two!

The MERIT badge for making a National Park Ranger the big bad in this 80s inspired "killer in the woods" romp goes to Jenn Wexler.

"The Ranger" is a tidy 80 minutes long and gets to the point without going over a pain-staking backstory for our heroine and how she fell into a gang of drug-dealing punk rockers.

Good gore, good villain, with a rocking soundtrack and score.

A Simplistic Review: Avengers: Endgame (Spolier-Free)

2019-04-28T10:41:00.001-07:00

Over a decade of storytelling, 22 films, BILLIONS of dollars invested, and this is what we get?!

Let me just give a BOW of respect for what Paramount, Marvel, Disney, Sony, Fox, and anyone else who was involved in the creation of the MCU and the on again, off again relationship all the studios have had in order to generate this juggernaut which has led to "Avengers: Endgame."

I swelled up and cried a lot in this film, because at the end of the day, strip away the bombastic characters, large scale battles, and all the special effects, because this "Endgame" is a character driven story with superheroes you've spent the better part of your life around.

There is something to be said about what The Russo Brothers have done here. They created a large scale film with pathos to spare and also enough moments that had your bursting at the seems with excitement. This decade-long journey to the inevitable culmination is huge, it's exciting, and it's something that we all just need to take in and enjoy because it's special.

(Ep. 120): Guns - Movie Commentary: April 2019

2019-04-26T19:09:00.000-07:00

April 26 is here!

Sure, the mystery movie commentaries were fun. But you knew what you wanted and we knew what you needed. So today we give it like it has never been given...That is why, for no other reason, April 26 was circled on our calendars.

A date we know a lot of you have been counting down towards.

A date that will most likely go down in movie history.

April 26, 2019.

The date Simplistic Reviews finally watched...Guns!

Guns

1990 ‧ Thriller/Drama ‧ 1h 36m

Description

Initial release: November 9, 1990

Director: Andy Sidaris

A South American gunrunner (Erik Estrada) uses an island in Hawaii as his base of operations. A squad of beautiful government airfreighters Donna (Dona Speir) and Nicole (Roberta Vasquez) agents is sent to put him out of business.

Shit yeah! Andy Sidaris! The Sidaris Cinematic Universe continues of the greatest movie series ever! Bombs! Bullets and Babes! This isn't no children's Endgame, this is real shit!

A Simplistic Review: Guava Island

2019-04-22T19:29:00.001-07:00

There's nothing wrong with VANITY projects. Big music stars have done it for decades. "Purple Rain" with Prince, "Michael Jackson's Moonwalker," "Cool as Ice" with Vanilla Ice and who could forget "Swept Away" with the indomitable Madonna. Hmmm, come to think of it...maybe there is something wrong with them.

"Guava Island" is a 55-minute music video for Donald Glover where he gets to weave in some of his newer songs into a film about putting on a festival on a island that is under the control of a guy named Red Cargo who doesn't want his works to have Sunday off.

Oh, Rihanna is also in this film.

It's fine, and the opening animation scene reminded of something out of "Coco" and of course the public infatuation will continue for Glover, for good reason of course, the dude is super talented.

A Simplistic Review: Pet Sematary (2019)

2019-04-07T14:23:00.001-07:00

Let it be known that 2019's "Pet Sematary" remake is a REMINDER that yes, sometimes dead is better...

No matter what I say people are going to continue to translate Stephen King's work into films, but man, has there been any one source that has the up-and-down's like King's material.

After the remake of "It" hit big back in 2017, it was open season on getting back on King's D and trying another remake; that one happened to be this year's "Sematary."

Sure, there are a couple of things that I like about this remake, but the acting is wooden and it almost feels like the filmmakers are trying to have their cake and eat it too. Is this flick high brown or low brow horror? How much can we change to make this story feel fresh, etc...

Sure, I don't expect a new generation to check out the original from 1989, considering no one wants to watch an old movie, let's just dive into a remake, but hopefully this is a lesson that not every film deserves that much coveted remake treatment.

(Ep. 119): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast April 2019

2019-04-03T17:31:00.000-07:00

The Simplistic Reviews Podcast is back from Spring break...clean...sober...and ready to go. One of those things is true. The boys discuss everything they missed since they’ve been gone. From James Gunn rehiring, to the etymology of the word “trump”, to that famous last line in Lethal Weapon 2. You remember that one right? We sure didn’t. Doug Funny, Oregon Trail, Jenny & Melissa McCarthy...all points of interest or disinterest on this Spring fling episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

NOTES

Jenny McCarthy Anti-Vax

The word “trump” means...

Oregon Trail

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels Remake

MUSIC

Fast Times Club By IDOL

Gold Medal By Sounds Like Sander

A Simplistic Review: Dragged Across Concrete

2019-04-01T07:31:00.001-07:00

This April Fool's review is brought to you by Mel Gibson and Vince Vaughn. I'm sure a bunch of you thought it was a joke when they starting showing up to award shows together, but "Dragged Across Concrete" is no joke, it's an actual film, and it's actually an UPWARD movement in the reestablishment of Gibson maybe making his way back into the Hollywood stream. Not mainstream, but at least dipping his toe back in the waters.

S. Craig Zahler's filmography might be short, but damn is it impressive. From horror-western fare, prison exploitation and now heist films, he's getting impressive results away from the mainstream and creating pretty kick-ass films.

Gibson and Vaughn are great, but the star of this film is Tory Kittles as the freshly releases ex-con looking to make good on taking care of his family by any means necessary and still having a moral code.

"Bone Tomahawk" and "Brawl in Cell Block 99" are great on their own, but I think "Concrete" is Zahler's best work to date and he's shaping up to be the Neo-Tarantino we all deserve.

(Ep. 118): Mystery Movie 2 - Movie Commentary: April 2019

2019-03-31T19:31:00.000-07:00

So last time we tried something new, something mysterious, something crazy!

The people responded and wanted more or we're just untalented hacks...anyway we did it again!

Matt and Justin watch a movie just in-time for another movie that's due out April 5. Wow a movie commentary tie-in? Kinda...But unlike last time, both Matt and Justin have seen this film before.

Sure, it may be just a one off type of film but damn its really mysterious is it not?

So join Matt as he joins DJ in a movie commentary like none other...a mystery movie...eh movie commentary!?

A Simplistic Review: Us

2019-03-27T07:31:00.001-07:00

There's a lot to unpack in "Us." But I'll keep it...simple

Does it have the same affect that "Get Out" created in 2017? I don't think so. Did Jordan Peele create another socio-political horror film about how the poor are marginalized and cast away while we as an American society put on a happy face even though, deep down inside, we're ashamed of the unabashed consumers that we've become while living a soulless existence? I think that's a little more accurate.

"Us" is a nice SWITCHAROO for an audience that thought they were going to see "Get Out 2: Electric Rod-a-roo."

Sure, there's plenty of commentary to sink your teeth into, but drilling down this is a film that is part "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" part "Dawn of the Dead" and part "The Strangers," all while shaking up the tired horror cliche by subbing out your typical white family in danger with a black family, and making a very strong point.

Which is...

Why have horror films always just settled for white actors to be the stars horror films while marginalizing black actors to the roles of "the first to die" or "the sage-like advice giver?" Peele is making a statement that a lot of white folks probably aren't ready for; get ready to be the new "first to die" in the horror genre.

A Simplistic Review: Inside Llewyn Davis

2019-03-22T13:00:00.000-07:00

I think I like being the guy that checks out movies anywhere between 3-6 years after they come out and are heaped praise by any and all movie critics; I'm TARDY if you will. But gee golly did I enjoy "Inside Llewyn Davis."

Oscar Issac is fun playing the down-on-his-luck, struggling folk singer in 1960s New York, where he is always just one step behind. Of course, I don't know the plight of folk singers in the 60s around the Greenwich Village neighborhood in Manhattan, but I can imagine the bohemian lifestyle.

What the Coen Brothers do here that is so special is that while there is a ton of music, and great music at that, it shows a stark contrast to what life is like when you come off the stage. Infidelity, unwanted pregnancies, lost cats, hanging out with dope fiends, and of course getting punched in the face by the husband of the person you heckled on stage.

As as whole, "Davis" is great, but man, it's pitch black comedy, but what else would you expect from the Coens.

A Simplistic Review: The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

2019-03-20T07:17:00.001-07:00

It took me a long time to like "The Texas Chain Saw Massacre." And honestly, to this day, I prefer the remake from 2003. I know that probably hurts my horror film credentials, but shoot, I also prefer the remake for "The Hills Have Eyes" as well as the remake for "It" and a few other films that are simply better made films, at least aesthetically

1974's "Chain Saw" is grimy, ugly, grim, but digging down created a SYSTEM for early slasher films to thrive and made people uncomfortable and was seen as pornography that was ruining society, which I can always get behind.

Perhaps watching the original "Chain Saw" with the wisdom of Joe Bob Briggs and "The Last Drive-In" helped re-open my eyes to how much this film changed the landscape of the genre and created the actual "Formula" that predates other proto-slashers like "Halloween" and "Friday the 13th."

Tobe Hooper created a nightmare landscape with some of the most memorable cannibals you've ever seen along a lonely, dust road in central Texas that is forever the stuff of legends.

A Special Guest Simplistic Review: Captain Marvel

2019-03-10T18:36:00.001-07:00

Who knows you better than your best BUDDY? The 'Other Cap' felt like a love letter to your BFF. Which is exactly why I loved and needed Lashana Lynch’s Maria Rambeau as a real life contrast to Brie Larson's Carol Danvers' wonderful but very “literal” girl power.

Maria is what I want more of - a strong, single mother that kicks ass, flies planes and does some “simple physics”. Because to paraphrase a book I’m reading, “sometimes men want a sticker just for treating a woman like a human being.” I want to see more diverse women as equal human beings.

In “the other ladies who kick ass” category, Annette Benning and Gemma Chan do a fun job in their supporting roles.

Seeing the origins of Nick Fury, Agent Coulson and other origin Easter Eggs are also fun little nuggets.

But beware; If you troll this film just to bring down the ratings without any legitimate criticism - F**K your fragile ego. We may fall down, and hopefully first weekend numbers prove otherwise, but we will get up again and again.

Besides the slowish start and “dance” fights - this is a solid Marvel origin story and introduction to the ‘Endgame’.

A Simplistic Re-Review: Get Out

2019-03-03T10:33:00.000-08:00

There's nothing like a PUNCH in the face to wake someone up; or at least break their nose, knock out some teeth, and leave a long and personal impression. That's what "Get Out" did just about two years ago.

It take a special person to create a film that makes everyone in the audience uneasy. "Get Out" shines a light and makes white people squirm while at the same time showing the black audience that their paranoia isn't entirely all unfounded.

Director/Writer Jordan Peele created one of the best horror films in the last 25 years in my opinion, and it isn't even close. The re-watchability is high as well where you can really dissect the dread of what is coming and showing this to someone who hasn't seen it while you wait for their reaction(s) is golden.

(Ep. 117): Mystery Movie - Movie Commentary: March 2019

2019-03-01T10:44:00.000-08:00

Today we try something new, something mysterious, something crazy! DJ and Justin watch a movie like they did so many times before. But this time it's different. This time Justin carefully selected from the Simplistic Reviews ever growing library of shitty movies, a film DJ has never seen nor heard of.

And that's not all. This time DJ has no idea what he will be watching, he knows nothing, just like you!

So join DJ as he is only aware of recording a movie commentary...not what movie...but...a mystery movie!

A Simplistic Review: The Autopsy of Jane Doe

2019-02-11T07:04:00.002-08:00

As the kids would say; "'Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark' brought me here." I'm almost positive that I've seen "The Autopsy of Jane Doe" be suggested to me on Netflix time and time again, but I always turned my nose up at it.

These types of films just aren't my horror cup of tea. Not that it scares me, I just don't care for the supernatural, scary, maybe witch, girl, who terrorizes people. Just not my jam.

But after finally giving it a chance, and despite it being just "meh" Guillermo del Toro made the CORRECT choice in choosing director, André Øvredal, to helm one of my most anticipated films in "Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark."

Øvredal knows how to build suspense and you might even say that "Jane Doe" is a story cut right from "Scary Stories." The dude has some chops and I'm looking forward, and hoping, that he doesn't, like the adults say; "ruin my childhood."

A Simplistic Review: Velvet Buzzsaw

2019-02-06T20:25:00.001-08:00

Say what you will about "Velvet Buzzsaw" but the opinion will simply be in the eye of the BEHOLDER.

Much like art, whether you dig this flick will all depend on what you're looking for, and the more I think and dwell on "Buzzsaw" I find a lot in common with modern film criticism. It's annoying, needy, whiny, overly complicated and needless more often than not. Of course I'm skewering myself as well, but I can take my own joke and realize what kind of hypocrite I am.

Being one of like five people in the whole world that actually likes "Art School Confidential" I liken "Buzzsaw" a fun little companion piece where John Malkovich is somehow playing the same character in both and it's wonderful.

A Simplistic Review: I Am Not Your Negro (2016)

2019-01-23T07:40:00.001-08:00

I'm kind of in a weird spot with this review. It's just after Martin Luther King Day and just about a week before Black History Month, but after watching "I Am Not Your Negro" it took me some time to PROCESS.

As a White, Jewish Male, there isn't a lot for me to bring to a discussion about the mistreatment of minorities and the injustice and abuse they have all endured for over 700 years when White Europeans decided they were going to sail to a "New World" and for all intensive purposes commit genocide and kick off White Supremacy.

I feel bad I've not know much about James Baldwin up to this point in my life. He settled as a background guy for the likes of titans; Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Lorraine Hansberry, and Dr. King. He's also the witness for their lives being cut short while being the interest of the FBI and living as minority within a minority.

Baldwin took the best of Lorraine, Malcolm, Martin and Medgar and created his own brand of resistance that more seem to be discovering as we are slowly degenerating back into the 1950s and 60s and fighting for a new generation's Civil Rights.

In short, "I Am Not Your Negro" is required viewing about an unsung hero who I sadly know too little about.

A Simplistic Review: Eighth Grade

2019-01-16T17:42:00.001-08:00

It's hard not to CRINGE at "Eight Grade." It's everything you would expect a film about middle to be. Awkward, bittersweet, stomach-churning, and all together relatable.

Considering I'm about 20 years removed from middle school, I remember it being a little unbearable, but a lot has changed in 20 years and perhaps I don't find enough to connect with in "Eighth Grade" but I admire it's zeal for portraying the "modern" kid growing up in a technological and "me-me-me" society.

Maybe I'm sure more of a "Welcome to the Dollhouse" type of guy, but I'm also a weirdo who likes really dark shit...

A Simplistic Review: The House That Jack Built

2019-01-14T07:54:00.002-08:00

Lars von Trier is the master of the TRIGGER. He knows how to get under your skin and manipulate your emotions and get people riled up. But that also makes him the last of a dying breed of mainstream directors who are fading away.

The best I can really say about "The House That Jack Built" is that it TRIGGERS a response from people, whether it's good or bad, but it's a lot of posturing on von Trier's part about a hearty pat on his on own back.

It's "American Psycho" without the pitch black humor and while it might take place in the 80s at some junctures, "Jack" devoid of the era and simply takes place when it takes place.

Is "Jack" worth 150-minutes of your time? It honestly all depends on whether you think a Lars von Trier film is worth the squeeze and how TRIGGERED you might be.

(Ep. 115): Hard To Kill - Movie Commentary: January 2019

2019-01-13T11:13:00.001-08:00

The new year is here and so is a new batch of Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentaries!

We start this new year off with a film from 90's action star and serial eater, Steven Seagal. Which Seagal film? Well, since Steven has a large collection of so bad its good, we figured we get out one of the better Seagal films that also has some of our favorite lines.

Stay warm with the boys from SR on this chilly January Sunday and let's watch some Hard to Kill!

Hard to Kill

R 1990 ‧ Drama/Thriller ‧ 1h 40m

Description

When police detective Mason Storm (Steven Seagal) uncovers ties among corrupt cops, the mob and charismatic politician Vernon Trent (Bill Sadler), a hit is ordered on his family. During the attack, Storm's wife is killed, and the cop himself is severely injured. After waking up from a years-long coma, Storm, aided by gorgeous nurse Andy Stewart (Kelly LeBrock), slowly gets back on his feet and plots revenge against those who wronged him, particularly the duplicitous Sen. Trent.

Release date: February 9, 1990 (USA)

Director: Bruce Malmuth

Box office: 47.4 million USD

Screenplay: Steven McKay

Music composed by: David Michael Frank

A Simplistic Review: Molly's Game

2019-01-10T06:58:00.001-08:00

Considering this was one of my favorite films from 2018, I'm finally getting around to making it my first review post for 2019. Makes sense, right?

What do you get when you take Jessica Chastain, throw in a little Idris Elba, and have them recite, impeccably, the dialogue of Aaron Sorkin? Well, your plants might get a little TIGHT, but you also get "Molly's Game."

This is also the film that finally made me a fan of Jessica Chastain. Her and Anne Hathaway I lumped into the same boat for a long time, just not a fan. But, after seeing her play word gymnastics with this script and simply being the anchor of this film, I'm finally a believer.

A Simplistic Review: Deadpool 2

2018-12-28T19:28:00.002-08:00

I feel the short-hand "DP2" was so on the nose for "Deadpool 2" that perhaps in fact I was DP'd. Not that I would know that DP'ing is. Because I'm the good, God-fearing member of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast. Not like my heathens-in-crime of course. But man, the EXCESS in "Deadpool 2" is well, sometimes, a little bit EXCESSive

If you love Wade Wilson and his constant wink-wink, nod-nods to the camera, the audience and his fellow characters, you are going to love "DP2" and all it's DP'ingness.

From a comic reader perspective it's awesome because you finally see Cable on the big screen, along with Domino, and by the way, Zazie Beetz is a kween. And shoot, you even get Shatterstar and they reference Mojo World. Talk about a deep cut!

You get Goonies references, more baby appendages, shoot I even forgot, you get to see Black Tom Cassidy! Maybe there isn't enough in this film, I actually want more. What have I become...

A Simplistic Review: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse

2018-12-27T07:37:00.001-08:00

I was cautious about this film. In hindsight, I wonder why I ever was. It's so darn good, it's almost frustrating.

At the end of the day, I'm a purist when it comes to comic books and how I like the look and feel of them. If I had it my way I would have characters look exactly how they looked in all the comics I read in the 90s. Imagine how everyone would look in "X-Men: First Class" or even in that Ultron flick? Probably a little problematic actually...

But there is serious SERVICE paid in "Spider-Man: Enter the Spider-verse." You have what people have been clamoring for for years. Finally a film with Miles Morales AND Spider-Gwen. What kind of world do we live in? A pretty special one indeed. Considering we are living in an even more inclusive society, this is the perfect film, at the perfect time. It's almost needed. It's a film that should inspire and make evident, what's already been said over and over; "Anyone can be Spider-(wo)man."

A Simplistic Review: The Favourite (2018)

2018-12-24T11:27:00.001-08:00

Since 2015's "The Lobster" Yorgos Lanthimos has established himself, at least to me, as a modern day Aesop, creating adult-themed FABLES that are both mind-bending, funny, and unlike anything any other director is creating right now.

"The Favourite" is a film that takes the tried and true concept of the "costume drama" and turns it into a PG-13 version of "Salo" with two of the best in the business with Rachel Weisz and Emma Stone turning in some great performances where it leaves you guessing who is the hero or the villain.

Throw in Nicholas Hoult with his over the top David Bowie-like performance and Olivia Colman putting in some serious work as Queen Anne and you have some great fun right here.

(Ep. 114): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: December 2018

2018-12-21T11:13:00.001-08:00

Happy Holidays to all, and to all a good podcast! The Simplistic Reviews Podcast is back to jingle some bells and deck some halls with Simon Appleton from Moustache Movie News. We ask the expert in all things U.K. everything from Brexit, the metric system, and Meghan Markel...we also take a break to read some Christmas cards sent to Santa, much to the chagrin of our Jewish cohost Matthew Stewart. We also bring back one of our favorite games, Simplistic Titles, to see if Simon knows what movies are real and which ones come from the dark recesses of DJ Valentine's twisted mind. All that reindeer crap and more on a fa-la-la-la-loaded episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast

MUSIC
Deck The Halls By Album House
Hark The Herald Angels Sing By Album House
Jingle Bells By Album House
O Little Town Of Bethlehem By Album House
We Wish You An Indie Christmas By Aaron Tosti
Happy Christmas Deck The Halls By Be Still The Earth
8-Bit Blues By Fairlight
Move By OBOY

NOTES
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Audition
Aladdin First Look
Lindsey Lohan Beach Club

A Simplistic Review: The Meg (2018)

2018-12-18T18:54:00.000-08:00

Big, stupid films are so hard to gauge. People still like to throw around that whole "guilty pleasure" argument but honestly, you should like what you like and there shouldn't be guilt involved, but man..."The Meg" was the perfect BAIT in 2018 for anyone who was in the market for a big, dumb film about sharks that get bigger and bigger and if you wanted to see Rainn Wilson play a bigger jerk than his alter ego in "The Office."

No, "The Meg" isn't Asylum cheesy, but I would have loved to have seen the studio meeting which I sure included "hey, 'Sharknado' is still a thing right, people still love giant fish!" The sad fact is that "Sharknado" works because it's just one of those films that has all the ironic detachment it needs to be endearing, "The Meg" is a bit of a slog with just enough Jason Statham to make it somewhat tolerable and entertaining.

It just seems like a missed opportunity that the "Baby Shark" song wasn't used in some form. It's a travesty.

A Simplistic Review: Gremlins

2018-12-12T20:34:00.001-08:00

"Gremlins" is a lot of fun. It's pure insanity and another reason for the advent of the PG-13 rating. I mean there are people getting murdered, gooey explosions and probably one of the best reasons for a person to hate Christmas in cinematic history.

But the one thing that will always be a point of contention is the LOGIC of taking care of and dealing with an actual Mogwai. You mean this thing can't drink water. It can't take in any of the suns rays, and when exactly does "after midnight" end? It's fun to debate these quirky little things about "Gremlins" and at least I can say it's a Christmas movie to get away with watching it at least once a year.

A Simplistic Review: The Christmas Chronicles (2018)

2018-12-09T20:47:00.001-08:00

Not one holiday has more films dedicated to it then Christmas. From "It's A Wonderful Life" to "Black Christmas" there is a Christmas film for everyone. So when a new Christmas flick comes around, it just seems like white noise, and while "The Christmas Chronicles" takes it's cues from films like "Elf" with a dash of "Adventures in Babysitting" and the cutesy CGI of "Trolls" there is something QUAINT about it.

He's played Elvis...three times, Wyatt Earp, and a cartoon dog, but seeing Kurt Russell ham it up as Santa Claus, is truly a lot of fun. Much like Tim Allen in "The Santa Clause" Russell is doing his best to put his stamp on the role of Jolly Old Saint Nick for a new generation, and it works.

Will this be a new Christmas classic? I certainly think you can put this in your holiday film rotation going forward and have a pretty good time.

A Simplistic Review: The Big Lebowski

2018-12-04T18:49:00.001-08:00

I guess this review felt slightly appropriate only because this is the only film that I can think of that features a clip of a speech from George H.W. Bush, but it also features the ICON that is The Dude in "The Big Lebowski."

Watching this film made me come up with the weird parallel that The Dude is Kuwait and his life has been invaded by Iraq who you could call either Jackie Treehorn of The Nihilists or even the real Jeffrey Lebowski. Weird, but think about it...

I remember reading a review by Rene Rodriguez from "The Miami Herald" who really bashed this film. It's always been a vivid memory of mine. But I consider this the very best that the Coen Brothers have done with the craziest cast of characters they've created. It's damn near perfect.

(Ep. 113): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: November 2018

2018-11-30T08:00:00.000-08:00

Don't count your turkeys before they're clucked...that's a saying, right? The Simplistic Reviews Podcast for November comes right under the wire just in time to tell you what happened to Harry Potter, explore the career and voice of Kathleen Turner, discuss the filmography of Steven Seagal and create a brand new Pokemon. The boys test the limits of reality with the return of Believable Or Bullshit. Justin reveals which classic '70s show he'll be watching next on TV Roundup. And we flip Hollywood on its head with another edition of Simplistic Switcheroo. All that and more on the award-winning Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

NOTES
Hard To Kill
HPV Michael Douglas
Detective Pikachu
Michael J. Fox on Curb

MUSIC
Fast Times By Idols
Sun Traces By Isaac Joel
Gold Medal By Sounds Like Sander
Runaway Ghost By Travis Loafman

A Simplistic Review: The Ballad of Buster Scruggs

2018-11-20T19:42:00.001-08:00

In the cesspool of Netflix Original films, very few standout. For every, "Beasts of No Nation" you have five versions of "Tau." Sure, things have gotten a lot better in 2018, and the pinnacle for me is "The Ballad of Buster Scruggs," a film very much in the vein of the BINGE culture we all know and loathe...i mean love.

Composed of six tales of the Old West from wagon trains on the Oregon Trail, bank robberies gone wrong and of course a little gold prospecting, the Coen Brothers have created some very special here and re-ignite the mythic quality of westerns, and perhaps it helps a little that the western genre is back in vogue again with the titanic success of "Red Dead Redemption II."

Plenty of classic Coen Brothers charm, gallows humor and a great cast, "Ballad" can be viewed all at once, or even as six little episodes to enjoy in bite size treats.

A Simplistic Review: Game Night (2018)

2018-11-18T16:30:00.001-08:00

Somewhere in a multiverse, or alternate dimension, every film that Jason Bateman has appeared since 2011 are somehow related. When you see a Jason Bateman movie you pretty much know what you're in for. From "Horrible Bosses" to "Bad Words" there is a certain tone and feel you get with this films, and perhaps that's what I expected from "Game Night" but this SLY little ditty kind of breaks the mold.

In those aforementioned films, there is a certain meanness and ickiness to them, but "Game Night" is light and breezy and has the always charming Rachel McAdams in one of her funniest roles in a while, if not ever.

I didn't think I would like "Game Night" but it's one of those unsung heroes from the 2018 film scene.

A Simplistic Review: Suspiria (2018)

2018-11-14T20:16:00.000-08:00

Remake, reboot, homage, inspired by, retake, re-do, call it what you will, there will always be criticism and comparisons especially when you have a film by the same name released that holds a place in group's collective heart. Here we have "Suspiria" the 2018 film "inspired" or a "homage" to the 1977 giallo classic from Dario Argento.

Luca Guadagnino creates a version of "Suspria" with so much DEPTH that its likely to alienate the old guard, but creates something new, different, and fresh that mirrors our current dark societal problems, embraces dread, and cuts through the glammed up Euro-horror of it's 1977 predecessor.

The reason so many remakes get slammed is for obvious reasons; its the idea that people are simply cashing in on a named property, ie, "Ghostbusters." But "Suspria" takes a title and while still using the same names and places, fleshes out a world that is scary, gloomy, and keeps you invested and on the edge even with it's bloated 152-minute runtime.

Word to the wise, try to divorce yourself from the Argento version and enjoy this as a film that takes cues from Miike, Von Trier, Cronenberg, Hitchock, and Aronofsky.

(Ep. 112): If Looks Could Kill - Movie Commentary: Novemeber 2018

2018-11-12T18:39:00.003-08:00

If Looks Could Kill

1991 Action Comedy 1hr 28m

Before he can graduate, cocky high school student Michael Corben (Richard Grieco) travels to France on a school trip to earn a missing French credit. But when a British intelligence agent mistakes Michael for a spy of the same name, they rush him to headquarters and assign him to capture the evil Augustus Steranko (Roger Rees), using a plethora of espionage gadgetry. Michael has the time of his life -- until he crosses paths with two assassins (Tom Rack, Carole Davis) who want him dead.

Director: William Dear

Story by: Fred Dekker

Why? Because why not! Open that bottle of wine you keep thinking about and spend a lovely evening with DJ, Matt, Justin and the God that is Richard Grieco. Feast your eyes upon the Grieco and say goodbye to your family, because looks can kill!

'Mid90s' and What the Hell Happened to Us?

2018-11-10T20:07:00.001-08:00

Pontificating about "Mid90s" for about three weeks, considering we were a little busy on the site with Halloween reviews and all that other fun and spooky stuff, geez man, this flick is probably going to be my #1 film of 2018.

Jonah Hill brings to life a lot of things that I went through either from a FAMILY aspect, and things I might regret I did, as well as the culture of being a latch-key kid where you would leave for the day and come back when the sun went down. It was a simpler time that still had some innocence attached and the highest stakes you had to deal with is whether you were going to get beat up by the older junior high or high school kids.

20 years after I lived my "mid90s" life it makes me think, and gets me a little depressed, how dramatically the world has changed. The abundance of mass shootings, the rapid reemergence of White Nationalism, calls that everything you hear from the News and Reporters are lies and "Alternative Facts" are an accepted form of currency, and just the overall decorum of our civility with each other.

There was a time when you could leave the house on your bike or skateboard and not worry about making it home. Sure, danger exists, like Al Pacino said "...get killed walking your doggie." But I know we like to bemoan the idea of "the good old days," and I'm at a point in my life, especially after my experience with "Mid90s," where I ask "What the Hell Happened to Us?"

31 Films of Halloween: Terror in the Aisles

2018-10-31T17:50:00.001-07:00

If you want a quick EDUCATION on horror, suspense and sci-fi, you can look no farther than the original YouTube clip montage video, "Terror in the Aisles."

From "Nighthawks" to "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre," this pseudo-documentary with Nancy Allen and Donald Pleasance doing the talking is fun, scary and is the perfect little 82 minute clip show for the horror film novice.

Blood Feast

2018-10-31T15:31:00.000-07:00

Blood Feast is fundamental in a handful of ways. Released in 1963 I can only imagine the effect this had on horror and comedy. For me this was the film that allowed me to enter the world of cheesy explicit gore and violence. To laugh and be in awe, it was then I found a calling.

Lifeforce

2018-10-31T09:59:00.001-07:00

Lifeforce is a feast of a good time. Vampires from space, check! Space Girl completely naked for pretty much the entire film, check! Awesome FX, check! Sure, the film could use some trimming and has a few goofy moments but Lifeforce is very entertaining. Check it out!

(Ep. 111): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: October 2018

2018-10-29T16:31:00.000-07:00

What could be more spooky then a Simplistic Reviews Spooktastic Podcast? Okay so you could just turn on the news which is scary enough.

Today, we bring the Halloween to your ears on the 111th episode of... wait this episode is number 111? So I times 111 by 6... 666!!!, Oh my god Gregory Sestero its the mark of the beast! Damn that's perfect timing or we held off a movie commentary from being released to make a Halloween stupid joke. Nay...not us we aren't that cheesy.

So let's all indulge into some candy, laugh, drink and talk about news and some spooky thoughts we had recently as well make fun of those shitty Hollywood scumbags on this episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

Boooo!

31 Films of Halloween: Mandy

2018-10-24T16:43:00.001-07:00

Pro tip: DRUGS would help the experience of "Mandy." But even without DRUGS, this flick from the director of "Beyond the Black Rainbow" and son of the guy that directed the ever-excellent "Tombstone," Panos Cosmatos is all about Nicolas Cage and his descent into madness after a sex cult kills his fantasy-loving wife and destroys his peaceful existence.

The imagery is fascinating, the score one of the best from the late, Johann Johannsson, and if you love grindhouse and acid trip type cinema from the 70s and 80s, this very well might be the "Citizen Kane" of the genre.

The violence is brutal and gory, which I love, and if you like to see Nic Cage flip out "Kiss of the Vampire" style with a touch of "Face/Off" and a pinch of "The Wicker Man," oh boy are you in for a treat.

31 Films of Halloween: Apostle

2018-10-23T20:29:00.001-07:00

I know that a lot of people are making the comparison to "The Wicker Man" for Netflix's "Apostle" but to me there is a lot more resemblance to RESIDENT Evil.

Evil cult, weird dude with a crazy mask and usually a large weapon, and a ton of gore, this is totally "Resident Evil 4."

Gareth Evans uses some great tension and set pieces to create a super creepy story that makes his short from "V/H/S/2" seem like child's play and the standout performances of Michael Sheen and Mark Lewis Jones, this is one of the better Netflix's original films in quite a while.

31 Films of Halloween: Night of the Comet

2018-10-22T20:48:00.001-07:00

They sure don't make 'em like they used to make flicks like "Night of the Comet." But man, re-watching this one made me think of all the other films, TV shows, and even video games "Comet" had to have had or influence on, or at least gave a bit of INSPIRATION.

There are a lot of head fakes in this film, and just when you think it's going to be a straight up survival story of two teenage girls trying to fight off mutants effected by a passing comet it turns into a scientific conspiracy. It's wacky, but for some reason there is something so tacky, weird, and genuine about "Comet."

I recommend this to anyone who likes the FOX show "The Last Man on Earth," played "Dead Rising" or if you just like odd like B-films from the 80s with a quirky sense of humor and, hell, even some pretty solidly written female characters.

31 Films of Halloween: Halloween (2018)

2018-10-21T19:16:00.001-07:00

After so much build-up, and i assume just my nervousness, apprehension, but unbridled love for the"Halloween" series, I guess the TORCH has been officially passed to a new generation, and it's just something that I'm going to have to face.

That isn't to say that I don't like what David Gordon Greene and Danny McBride have done here, but after watching this series for nearly 25 years of my life, or as long as I can remember renting "Halloween 4" from the video store on a weekly basis, it's odd seeing a modern take on something that I hold very dear. Erasing an entire mythology and basically saying everything you know hasn't happened, I liken it to how many "Star Wars" fans felt after "The Last Jedi."

However, through the mist, I do like the homages to some of the other films, and at least there is a decent explanation and reason how we got from 1978 to 2018, kind of a weak reason, but a reason nonetheless. But boy, there are some plot devices that just don't quite work for me, and aren't as earned for me as they might be for other people. But hey, what else can I expect from a horror remake, right?

Parting shot, not a huge fan of the re-done "Halloween" theme. Too busy, too much production, and it loses the synth-soul that the original had...

31 Films of Halloween: Rob Zombie's Halloween and H2

2018-10-18T22:22:00.001-07:00

In order to expedite the process, and since I feel it appropriate to connect these two films together, I'm giving you guys a two-fer today with the EGO project that you might call "Rob Zombie's Halloween and Rob Zombie's Halloween 2" "H2," regardless, call it what you will.

The long and short and Zombie's vision is that it isn't horrible. It's shot expertly, makes you feel real grimy, like you are watching a documentary about Michael Myers and how he become the sister murdering, babysitter slaying enigma we know today, or if Zombie has anything to do with it, no longer an enigma.

If I've said it once, I've said it 100 times; the allure, at least to me, is that there is no reason for Michael Myers or why he kills...he's pure evil. I don't need an entire half of one film telling me how bad of a childhood Mikey had, I don't need it.

Oh, and you'll find this fun. With all the different versions of each film floating around, its a cool game to see what version you like since they could all impact each film and how it's perceived. I thought the Theatrical and TV version of "Halloween 2" was enough, geesh!

Sorry, let me step off my white horse...

31 Films of Halloween: Halloween: Resurrection

2018-10-17T20:01:00.000-07:00

What can be said about "Halloween: Resurrection." This is a horror film firmly trapped and a victim of it's own era, and it honestly feels like the inmates are running the asylum while director Rick Rosenthal is tied up in a closet somewhere.

You would think that four years between "H20" and "Resurrection" something special could have been created, but instead we get the worst Michael Myers mask in the film's history, Busta Rhymes doing kung-fu and delivering and epic SPEECH about who Michael Myers isn't a headline or a news story, but instead a killer shark...yeah, that what we got this time around.

In the very least, "Resurrection" should give you a good laugh by how inane the dialogue is written and delivered by the cast, so I guess you can say this is by far the funniest edition in the series, which really says a lot...oh, but at least Katee Sackhoff is pretty rad.