As a leader, I am always seek to move others forward to fulfill a goal, to achieve an objective, or generally toward a destination. To that end knowledge and wisdom are absolutely essential. If I want to be a good, successful leader, among many other things, I need to know myself, and I need to know the people I am leading.

One thing I know about myself is that I am a fast walker. One thing I know about a lot of people I lead is that they are not. Beyond being a  fast walker, I am also a missional walker – I walk with purpose. When Adriana and I go to the mall or a store I don’t want to lolly-gag and window shop and dream about buying things that we can’t afford or don’t need. I want to get in, get our stuff, and get out. The same is true when I’m leading a team. I want to get us from where we are to where we need to be as fast as we can so we can do what we need to do.

Not many places put one’s leadership abilities to the test as thoroughly as New York City. During a recent trip to NYC with a team from London, I was standing in a sea of people at the corner of 42nd & 7th, looking back at my straggling team, waving my hand in the air, calling the team to where I was when I started to ponder leadership.

As leaders we move at a certain pace, and it’s natural to want others to keep up with us. But the truth of the matter is if everyone moved at the same pace as us, we wouldn’t be leaders. That’s knowledge. So what are we to do? That is the wisdom question. Are we to lower our expectations of others? Maybe so. A good look at our expectations is never a bad idea, but at the end of the day we still need to hold up high standards and challenge people to stretch beyond their comfort zones.

I believe, rather, that the answer lies in the tension that we as leaders are called to live in. The challenge is to be far enough in front that we are leading and calling people forward, but not so far in front that people can’t keep up with us. If we walk so fast that we lose people, we might personally get to our destination, but we’ll get there alone, and that, of course, is not the point of being a leader. As John Maxwell has said, “A leader without followers is not a leader, he’s just a guy out taking a walk.” As Adult Youth Leaders, God has not called us to simply go for a walk, he has entrusted us with the responsibility of taking students with us, leading them on a journey of faith. 

This is the paradox: We must show restraint in order to move. Sometimes we must hold back personally for the sake of moving the group. This can be difficult but it so necessary. In addition to calling others to leave the comfort of their slower pace, sometimes we have to sacrifice the comfort of our quicker pace so that they can follow us. I believe that the best leaders have learned this secret. They have raised the bar of their leadership, embracing a higher leadership that is not always fast but is effective. It’s an agape leadership that is willing to sacrifice for the good of others.

Kevin Mahaffy, Jr. is a poet and blog writer. Check out more of his stuff here: http://revkevjr.blogspot.com

If you saw our scores, you would know we didn’t do so great. It was very difficult to get the stepping correct, relearning how to bowl all over again. Mandy and Paul seemed to adapt well and was getting better. I by far did the worse at relearning to bowl.

Unfortunately, this is very similar to the church. Whether we like it or now, the world changes. Culture is ever changing, and not that we change our Truth and Gospel message, the way we present that truth and message needs to change with the culture. And it is sad to see that many churches and ministries look like they are bowling left handed when it comes to our culture. We can get so stuck onto doing things the way we always have, that when something changes, we are unable to adapt. We need to constantly look at our ministries and ask ourselves if we are changing with the culture, or are we stuck into what we always used to do.

May we learn to adapt ourselves to our world around us, and may we be able to bowl left-handed.

Thomas Paukovitz is a Youth Minister at Woodland Hills Christian Church. You can track him down here: http://hodbog.posterous.com

A time of learning – I learned a lot. There were so many opportunities to take a class on a subject that will help me to stay in ministry for the long haul. SYMC offered classes on marriage, volunteer training, games, counseling, conflict resolution, preaching, & teaching. I chose the Helping Hurting Kids track and I benefited from probably one of the least discussed topics but one of the most influential problems all teens face – teen depression and addiction. I believe we all need to learn more if we are going to help teens through their adolescence.

A time of encouragement – The worship and camaraderie I was able to participate in was very therapeutic. I met many people I have had the honor of speaking to online through the SYM Podcast. Getting to meet Doug, Josh, Matt, and Jana in person was awesome. It felt like seeing old friends for the first time in a long time. I also got to meet Andy B in person after so many emails for products. I also met new people like D.C., Matt K., Rick Lawrence, Tom, and many others. Tim Timmons really encouraged me through his worship leading and a few of his songs are STILL stuck in my head.

A time of rest – Youth Ministry is T. O. U. G. H. with a capital STRESSFUL. Dealing with tough kids, tough parents, boards, elders, pastors & ministers can take a lot out of you. We don’t tend to take time for ourselves because we are so committed to getting it right as often as possible. We overwork ourselves to the point we lose much of our drive and passion. Taking a weekend to listen to others who are doing what you do and understand your faith, love, passion, hurts, and struggles can only benefit. I felt loved on. It had been 7 years since I had been to a large convention like this. I forgot how much I needed it. Now that I am back, I feel stronger. There isn’t a huge list of things to tell people about the conference itself other than the encouragement I received. I did come back with this though: the passion and desire to help hurting kids. I think that was worth the admission alone.

Mike Lewis is the Youth Minister for the Westside Church of Christ in Beaverton, Oregon. He writes a blog that might be worth reading at www.bigmikelewis.blogspot.com and will gladly be your friend on Facebook, too.

(a)_____________ is currently away from his desk because he is (b)_______________ in (c)_____________. He will be gone from (d)________________ to (e)_________________ and your email will be (f)_______________________ when he (g)___________. If you need help right away, please contact (h)___________________ at (i)_________________. Thanks and (j)_______________.

Mar 4-18
(a) JG
(b) hanging with 27 amazing students
(c) Kitale, Kenya
(d) March 4
(e) March 18
(f) Replied to immediately
(g) regains consciousness from the travel coma he will be recovering from.
(h) The High School Ministry (HSM) team
(i) (949) 609-8000
(j) always be on the lookout for mosquitoes that carry Yellow Fever. You have been warned.

Feb 22-Mar 1
(a) Joshua Griffin
(b) Hanging out with youth workers at #symc2010
(c) Chicago, IL
(d) February 22
(e) March 1
(f) probably skimmed over
(g) is home for 2 days between trips.
(h) The High School Ministry (HSM) team
(i) (949) 609-8000
(j) have a great day. Seriously, please do.

Feb 9-12
(a) Josh Griffin
(b) Hanging out with Rick Warren backstage at #rad10
(c) Lake Forest, CA
(d) February 9
(e) February 12
(f) completely ignored
(g) (waves hand) “it can wait until March 18th” (you repeat) “it can wait a few weeks”
(h) The High School Ministry (HSM) team
(i) (949) 609-8000
(j) Have a great day.

JG

Cool video from Jeff McGuire. Saw it over on McGill’s Abnormalize and thought I would repost – thought for a while I’ve been thinking I like both not either.

JG

Very excited to read about a new resource on starting/developing a girls’ ministry from Simply Youth Ministry. We actually don’t have a specific girls-ministry in HSM, so I’m pumped to put this into one of our leader’s hands and see what happens. Check it out, too, if you’re interested!

JG

Over the course of our lives we will make tons of mistakes.  Some of them will be very minor to very major.  Some mistakes are made because we take risks and we aren’t sure of the outcome.  Other mistakes are made because we become arrogant and think we know more than we do.

Mistakes are going to happen but how we deal with them is going to define the type of person we are.  In ministry we make all kids of mistakes like:

• Sending out an incomplete email or one that isn’t worded right
• Not giving out all the details to an event
• Blaming the wrong student for setting the garbage can on fire
• Forgetting to talk to the parents of the student you sent home early from an event

In ministry, everyone in the church is your boss, so you are trying to please a whole lot of people with a whole lot of ideas of what you should be doing.  We serve the entire church, not just those in our ministries.  This makes for a lot of fun some times.  We need to learn to read the signs and do everything we can to make the matter worse, rather than being arrogant and “taking a stand” for our beliefs.  If people don’t like us or our ministry, we won’t be as effective as we need to be.

So how can we handle the mistakes we know we are going to make?

1. Be Humble.  You might have to eat some crow but understand you are working toward the kingdom of God not ourselves.
2. Listen Closely. Do your best to hear what someone might be telling you and do what needs to be done to resolve the issue.  We need to hear the other person and their perspective in order to understand where they are coming from.
3. Learn and Grow.  Take any issues that come up as opportunity to grow as a Christian and a minister.  We are put into situations by God in order to better ourselves.
4. Be Open and Honest.  The more transparent you are in your ministry the better but know how to discern.  The more good information you put out there, the less material there is to attack you with.

Charting the Course

Something that I found very helpful was that in each section of the book, Marko (as he is known throughout the youth ministry world) builds a chart that lists and compares/contrasts various characteristics of the three different youth ministry eras (pages 49, 61, 78) including youth culture fixation, cultural influence on youth ministry, key themes, driver, and theme verse. By the time I got to the end of the book, I found myself wanting to add another characteristic to his chart, namely the ‘relationship of youth ministry to the church’.

A. Youth Ministry Outside the Local Church

Marko does talk about youth ministry’s relationship to the local church in Youth Ministry 1.0 and 2.0. On page 46, Marko says “So those early youth ministry pioneers who knew they had to be true to their calling found – in large measure – that they had to do youth ministry outside the context of the local church.” In other words, the primary context of youth ministry 1.0 was outside of local churches. Although this doesn’t appear in Marko’s chart, I think it’s an important enough observation that it could. As Marko points out, Youth Ministry 1.0 was the birth of groups like YFC, Young Life, FCA, etc. (parachurch youth ministries), but a shift happens in Youth Ministry 2.0.

B. Youth Ministry Inside the Local Church

On page 53, Marko says “Churches [in the late 70’s and 80’s] were finally waking up to the need for youth ministry and moving beyond offering only a ‘young persons’ Sunday School class. Youth groups sprang onto the church scene, and churches started hiring youth pastors left and right.” So the primary context of Youth Ministry 2.0 was inside local churches.

C. Youth Ministry Connecting Local Churches

When he gets to Youth Ministry 3.0, the context continues to be youth ministry inside local churches, but I found myself wondering – couldn’t the primary context of youth ministry (relationship to the local church) also be changing just as it had between YM 1.0 and 2.0? And Marko’s descriptions of Youth Ministry 3.0 actually hint at what I believe could be the next primary context of youth ministry – youth ministry connecting local churches.

On page 93, he says “But what might this look like, to have a youth ministry of the various youth subcultures in your church and community, acknowledging the uniqueness and value of each-including the styles and preferences of each-but moving toward a supra-cultural taste of the kingdom of God?” (emphasis mine).

Could we be heading into a time when youth ministry needs to break out from the four walls of the local church and spill over into the whole community including other local churches? To be more about the Kingdom of God than buildings, denominations or theological distinctives? I believe that this is the case, and I believe that Marko’s description of Youth Ministry 3.0’s characteristics support that.

1) To reach multiple cultures

For example, he says that in Youth Ministry 3.0, there should be multiple youth ministries to multiple subcultures – that could be done in a single church, but what if all the churches in a community recognized this need and different churches were strategically focusing on reaching those different subcultures. What if we had an attitude that we need other youth ministries in our community to reach the entire youth population of our community?

2) To be true to our context

Another characteristic is contextualized youth ministry – the context of the students in your community is important, but doesn’t that context include other churches and youth ministries? What affect do other churches have on each other and what effect should they have. Could some good come of acknowledging that ‘our church is not the only church in this town’?

3) To be free from being overwhelmed

Doing less and getting small is another characteristic of Youth Ministry 3.0 – imagine the freedom in realizing ‘Hey, I’m not the only person trying to reach teenagers in my community. There are others out there doing the same thing. I’m not alone.” I think that realization could take some of the pressure off of youth leaders and we could feel free to not feel bad about being small knowing that there are many groups out there doing the same thing. A whole lot of smalls make for something big!

4) To be communal and missional

The two key words that Marko gives for Youth Ministry 3.0 are communal and missional. I love that – what fresh ways of looking at what we do. But again, wouldn’t communal youth ministry also mean that the youth pastor needs a community of like-minded people? His community needs to be bigger than the students he/she ministers to – he or she needs a community of people who understand their passion, struggles, goals, etc. And nothing is quite as encouraging as knowing that the mission you are passionate about is shared by others.

In the early chapter of Youth Ministry 3.0, Marko describe the tasks of adolescence as identity, autonomy, and affinity. I think that church history has played itself out in this way, especially since the protestant reformation (the church’s rebellious years?). At first, the church struggled with a sense of identity: What is the church? What are we supposed to be about? And then for several centuries, the church has been all about autonomy — How are we unique and different from other churches? I think it’s about time the church started moving more toward affinity – What do we have in common? How can we connect?

In Youth Ministry 3.0, We Need Each Other

Youth Ministry 1.0 took place outside of local churches because churches hadn’t caught on. In Youth Ministry 2.0, churches took hold that responsibility they should’ve had all along and made it core to what they do. In Youth Ministry 3.0, I think that they overwhelming forces of culture, economics, media, technology, globalization, and spiritual decline are going to force churches to see that we need each other to successfully reach future generations for Christ (see Jason Pauli’s recent blog post). In fact, as my friend Nick Arnold recently reminded me, youth workers from parachurch ministries started in the 1.0 era and church youth pastors from the 2.0 era also need each other to reach this generation of young people. I’m excited about Youth Ministry 3.0 and I’m thankful to Mark Oestreicher for helping us see what this exciting new time can look like. My hope is that, more and more, we’ll make this new chapter of Youth Ministry something we do together.

Travis Deans has been 13 years with Teens For Christ, a former Youth Ministry 1.0 organization now networking church youth ministries in two counties in southwestern Pennsylvania, and lives in Uniontown, Pennsylvania with his wife Judy.

Made it back safe from our mission trip – here’s a picture of the team after we landed in Kitale, Kenya 11 days ago. Loooong flights, great memories, lots of landmark decisions. Love it.

JG

JG

JG

Our time together, though not long only short
May it seed true communion with You in our hearts
Help us see Your image inside of each other
Teach us what it means to truly love one another

Away from the big, the loud, the flash
Just a few of us here to share and to laugh
To discuss Your Word, to share and go deeper
To talk real life and be our brother’s keeper

Praying for one another as we journey through life
May we encourage each other to reflect Your light
Let us always be inclusive, welcoming, and warm
A safe place for all in the midst of life’s storms

Lord we all come from a myriad of places
Give us wisdom and kindness and grace and patience
Thank you for unity in the midst of diversity
Make us one in Christ, true Christian community

Bless those abundantly who have opened their home
Upon their house, God we pray Your Shalom
May it be filled with laughter, with joy, and with vision
In return for their giving, God we pray Your provision

And let us, O Lord, never ever forget
That there’s someone else out there who has yet to connect
Your eyes and your mouth to see and invite
That not one, O Lord, would be alone in the fight

It’s a mystery to me why they seem to be Your preference
But amazingly in the end small groups make a great big difference
Life on life, Jesus you modeled it back then
So I’ll do the same, in Jesus name, Amen.

Kevin Mahaffy, Jr. is a poet and blog writer. Check out more of his stuff here: http://revkevjr.blogspot.com

As we have carefully formed the structure of discipleship in our ministry, we have four pillars that are important to a strong discipleship program:

Pillar #1: Discipleship is a PROCESS:
The Greek word for disciple means “learner”. Eugene Peterson, theologian and author of “A Long Obedience in the Same Direction” explains that the biblical image of discipleship is an image of forward motion. It is a journey, a pilgrimage, a long-distance marathon. It is not simply an arrival. For students, this means that discipleship is an ongoing, daily process during their school years and beyond.

Pillar #2: Discipleship is a balance between INFORMATION and TRANSFORMATION:
A disciple is not just an expert of information, but someone who is continually learning about what it means to know and live like Christ. As we disciple students, we want them to have a rich understanding of God’s word. We want students to know the faith stories of our forefathers, and to have a grasp of theological doctrine. However, we don’t want to simply transfer information to students; we want it to transform their life. The end goal of the study of the scriptures is not to master the text, but to let the text master us. Jesus spoke about a confluent faith in the Great Commandment when he said “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength (Mark 12:30). Jesus wanted those who followed Him to not just to know about God, He wanted what they knew to be put into practice.

Pillar #3: Effective Discipleship consists of a variety of METHODS:
Most of Jesus’ formal education of his disciples was done in with a variety of methods. He used overstatements, parables, riddles, irony, and the use of questions and paradox, which caused his listeners to think, process and to ask questions. Jesus was creative in his teaching methods by using story, object lessons, experiences, illustrations, case-studies and real life scenarios to teach his disciples.

Pillar #4: Discipleship is most effective in the context of RELATIONSHIPS:
To know God is to learn about a vibrant relationship with Him. To be in fellowship with other believers means to learn to live together. To grow deeper in faith means to live in Obedience to God’s will. The apostle Paul said, “Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me-put into practice.” (Philippians 4:9) Paul was very relational in his method of discipleship.

Todd Szymczak is a youth worker who blogs at http://livelearnlead.net/ and http://twitter.com/toddszymczak.

My observations have been that most students (I’m speaking specifically about High School & Middle School) don’t use Facebook or Twitter in the same way those of us in our 20’s, 30’s and older. We tend to play games like Farmville, share photos and videos, share web links we find interesting or in some cases stalk our old school friends–ok, maybe not a good idea. Students tend to use Facebook to express themselves through influences of music and movies just like we did when we were younger–except we used different outlets.

I’ve found that many students simply quote songs and movies lines in their status updates, which I’ll admit, I don’t even know what some of the songs are from just reading the lyrics or movies quotes. All I know is that it’s a random status update in the form of a lyric. Students will also post lyrics and quotes on their friends profiles almost like having a conversation. Have you experienced this? It’s very easy to see where the lyric came from by copying the status update and pasting it into Google search. Instantly you can see who the artist or movie is they are quoting. Most students don’t give the artist credit, partly I think, because it’s unimportant to them who sang it but what the students meaning behind the lyric. It’s a great window into what’s popular out there among your specific students as well as get a better understanding of some of the issues they might be expressing through lyrics via their status updates. Here’s some examples I’ve found from students in the past week:

“Do you think I’m special? Do you think I’m nice? Am I bright enough to shine in your spaces? Between the noise you hear And the sound you like Are we just sinking in an ocean of faces?” -One Republic

“Some moments bring us together and some moments tear us apart. Some moments change us forever” – Remember Me

“There’s a field near the dream I watched it grow with brightest eyes I watched us all reach out and leave For the strength as we touched the sky” – Angels and Airwaves

What have been your experiences?

Kevin Cooper is a youth worker and media junkie from Dublin, Ohio. He mini-blogs and Twitters right here.

Was in Kenya with the newest member of the Simply Youth Ministry Podcast team (Katie Edwards, to replace Jana who is sadly moving away) so Doug Fields, Matt McGill and Jake Rutenbar did the show last week. Enjoy!

JG

Sometimes the best way to get a point across is to put it in a different light. You now know a few ways to botch up an altar call. Please do not employ them. Do the opposite. You may already do some of them. Don’t let pride keep you from changing and doing things in a Biblical fashion. The bottom line is how true we are to Christ and His word. Effectively reaching the lost is our purpose. Let nothing hold you back from that agenda. May God bless you as you seek to win people to Christ in youth group, Bible clubs, churches, conferences, and in on the street witnessing encounters.

Allen Atzbi is a Youth Pastor at Element Church – he’s botched a ton of altar calls himself.

The whole thing got me thinking, though. The wisest man I know, Norb, used to tell me that it was his goal for people to sniff Jesus on him. That everything he did and said would have the scent of our Savior attached to it. I always thought that was a really cool idea, and something I’ve tried to emulate (but miserably fail, truth be told). And then I thought of my overwhelming aroma on Friday. What kind of smell are we giving off to the world around us? What is the scent that we irradiate to our peers and co-workers? Is it sweet? Is it bitter? Is it kind and compassionate? Or, how often is it a smell that even we are sickened by? Certainly or goal shouldn’t be to merely satisfy the noses of the people around us. Just walk through a store- or a high school hall way- and you’ll catch wiffs of every perfume and flavor of Axe body spray ever made. Some are appealing, others are not. To the person wearing them, however, they must be appealing, lest they hopefully would not have shelled out the $49.95 a bottle of fragrance costs. Just because it smells good to the wearer, does not mean it smells good to the smeller.

That’s why our scent is for the scent Maker. Incense was used heavily in the Bible. In fact, God made His own blend and set it apart as holy- Ex 30: 34 Then the LORD said to Moses, “Take fragrant spices—gum resin, onycha and galbanum—and pure frankincense, all in equal amounts, 35 and make a fragrant blend of incense, the work of a perfumer. It is to be salted and pure and sacred. 36 Grind some of it to powder and place it in front of the Testimony in the Tent of Meeting, where I will meet with you. It shall be most holy to you. 37 Do not make any incense with this formula for yourselves; consider it holy to the LORD. 38 Whoever makes any like it to enjoy its fragrance must be cut off from his people.”

After Noah make his post-flood sacrifice, “The LORD smelled the pleasing aroma and said in his heart: “Never again will I curse the ground because of man, even though every inclination of his heart is evil from childhood. And never again will I destroy all living creatures, as I have done” (Gen 8:21). We, of course, don’t offer up burnt sacrifices anymore, but Romans 12 tells us, ” Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God.” It is our great honor that our lives would be the sweet smell of the Lord- to God and to those around us. 2 Corinthians 2:14-15a, “But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ.”

Such a powerful picture! Just as I want my scent to be appealing to the people sitting next to me, how much more do I want the sacrifice that is my life to be appealing to my God? And thanks be to Him that through Jesus I smell sweet! It was through the sacrifice of Christ, the Lamb of God that I have a God-pleasing aroma. And now I have the wonderful task of being sweet incense in a foul-smelling world! May I reek of Jesus in all I think, say, and do.

Kory Henkel is the Director of Youth Ministries in Bloomington-Shakopee, MN. Check out Deep Thoughts blog right here: htttp://deepthoughts-simplemind.blogspot.com/

In my 5 years I’ve wanted to leave my job multiple times but after much thought and consideration I would find that my reasoning for wanting to leave was selfish.  Going into my fifth season at this church I feel like I am just now hitting my stride with building relationships with the students and parents of our Church.

Now I understand that there are reasons to leave a church but all I’m asking is that you examine your reasoning before leaving your students in the dust.  Often we just need to stick it out and work through our own issues!

Darryl Nelson is the Jr High Youth Pastor at Anchorage Baptist Temple in Anchorage, AK. He blogs and Twitters, like any good youth pastor should. Check him out!

The issue is not feeling like you can do ministry at a church building. I know this train of thought has been around for a while but I’ve encountered it more lately. If you haven’t come across this or don’t know what I’m talking about, the basic idea is that you can’t do effective ministry at a church building because teenagers (and some adults) feel uncomfortable at church. They say that when people who aren’t Christians are at a church they feel uneasy. They feel like they can’t be themselves. They feel like they have to be “good” or “fake”.

In some ways I can understand why a person would worry about this. Many church buildings are old buildings with a lot of ornate fixtures and there are even some “off-limits” rooms. This causes some to feel more like they’re at a library or a museum than at God’s house. (maybe they feel like they’re at their grandma’s house minus the plastic covered furniture)

But is this a true perception? Is this just something that those of us on the “inside” think that non-Christians feel? If this perception is true, do we just accept it and do our best to get away from the building?

Now, let me say that in my ministry, we do have groups that meet in homes on Sunday nights. We do that for a number of reasons but one of the biggest reasons is to create a comfortable, open feeling. So, in that way I understand this idea of feeling more comfortable elsewhere. But what are we saying to people and specifically to our teens when we say that we can’t do effective ministry at the church building. When we feel like we have to go to Starbucks or to the mall or someone’s house…what are we saying about the church building? Are we hurting the effectiveness of our programs that are at our buildings? I mean, more than likely, you have at least one program, and it’s probably your big, crowd program that is at your church building. And if you feel like you can’t effectively minister and connect with teenagers at that place, then your program is going to suffer.

Here’s the bottom line for me: we all don’t have nice, new buildings and we don’t all need them. But we should all recognize the privilege and the blessing that it is to have a place to call home for our ministries. If you feel like you can’t minister effectively there, then either you’ve got issues you need to work on and get past or you need to find a way to better utilize this ministry tool that God has blessed you with.

Joe Thompson is the Youth Minister at Fairmount Christian Church. I know him better as http://bethshusband.wordpress.com.

Number one…this is tough work and there are few who can do it for years at a time.

Secondly….Youth Pastors are often thought of as the minor leagues for “The Big Show.”  This is the way the system has developed.  Student pastors are the future leadership of the church.  But this is a topic for another time.
So…back to my issue.  Why do we see this pattern across the country? A new person coming in, a youth group growing, that person leaving, and the youth group dying…waiting for the next big personality?  Come to think of it…why is that the pattern we see in the church in general?
I think the problem is us!
We can be pretty cool. We are relational, so people are attracted to us.  We have vision, so people are inspired by us.  We are creative and do a bunch of interesting and new stuff, so people like to come see what we do.  People dig us. And therein lies the problem…right there in front of our eyes.  It’s us.

In my world at North Point Xtreme, our anchor is the small group leader.  The only thing consistent every week is the same small group leader with the same group of kids.  When my friend, with an identical program, announced he was leaving today, it was not a big deal.  When I leave, the show will go on the same way.  (I’m not saying it will be easy on my ego.)

Great speakers (the hooks) come inside our student ministry and then go on to do great things on bigger stages. Great bands (also hooks) minister to our kids, are developed, and head on to “Big Church.”  They go to the “Show!”  I love it when that happens…and the ministry keeps growing and doesn’t miss a beat!

So…I hope you are incredibly talented, passionate, and an amazing vision caster…but the truth is, You may be a great hook…but…it’s not about you…it can’t be about you.

Is your ministry built around a hook or an anchor?  What are you doing to make sure your ministry outlives you?

Tom Shefchunas is the Multi-Campus Director of Middle School @ North Point Community Church. Hit up his blog in your Google Reader for sure!

As someone who has spent a large portion of their adult life serving in full-time ministry, I am surprised by how much I told other people that and how inconsistent I was about applying that to my own life.

I talked the talk without always walking the walk.

Since August I have been looking for what’s next for me in ministry.  It’s been exciting and very refreshing for me.  One of the things I have learned during this transition time is that I have made a lot of rookie mistakes in ministry!

• I began to realize how often I would read the Bible and look to ONLY apply it to the people I was given the opportunity to lead.
• I realized that I spent much more time praying for others and very little praying and talking to God about myself.
• I discovered that when I would read books I would look to find ways to apply the information to others and rarely to myself.
• I found that on Sunday mornings I was much more concerned with processing the service than I was with my own personal development.

If you were to ask me now what’s been the best part of this time away from ministry for myself I could honestly say it’s been getting my relationship with God back on track.

God wants to know me. He wants to have a relationship with me.  Through that relationship, He wants to work through me to encourage and impact the lives of others. I know for the 2-3 people that read my blog that this is something that you already knew. Nothing mind blowing for you hear.

Or is it? Do you spend consistent time talking to God about what’s going on with you? Are you allowing God to work on you before He works through you? If you serve in any position of leadership in a church I would say that before you are given an opportunity to tell THEM anything, let God tell YOU something.

[Update: I am now on staff at LifeChurch East Valley in the Gilbert, Arizona.  My season away from ministry was very refreshing and I am excited to learn from the mistakes I made in my past.  I am a follower first and a leader second.]

Sam Frederick is the Associate Pastor at LifeChurchEV, you can read his blog right here: www.samfrederick.com

I’m 22 years old. And I work with students at the church that I grew up in.

Now, when I say “grew up in”…I didn’t know Christ until I was a junior in high school, and this was where I met him. When I graduated high school, I didn’t go to college, and since I was staying at home, I decided to give back to the youth ministry that had given so much to me, and started working with 6^th graders on Sunday mornings, and helping out with our mid-week youth worship service.

I’ve been doing this since for 3 years and I love it. Students are a fantastic bunch of people to work with, and Youth Workers might be the greatest group of people you’ll ever get to do ministry with. So. I love what I get to do at my church. But I don’t feel fed. I don’t feel the sense of community that my soul longs for. I am struggling and praying through whether or not I should leave this church, and start attending one here in town that I know offers those things. I am hurting over whether or not the students that I know and love at my current church are worth not getting what I feel like I need spiritually.

I know that I can work with students wherever I end up, but I’m talking about going from a 200+ student ministry to a ministry of about 30-40 students. Which honestly has some cons for me, as well as pros. But a big part of it is that I love these kids that I work with now. I’ve invested in them for the past four years. They’ve been a big part of my life, and I hope I’ve made an impact on them.

I’ve wondered if it’s just me. If I need a spiritual attitude adjustment. But the more I think and pray about it, I see that the things that God has put on my heart, are not necessarily what He has put on the hearts of church leadership here. And that’s ok. We don’t have to be going after the same things, because as long as we agree that salvation is through Christ on the cross, and only that. The rest is neither here nor there, honestly.

So am I being selfish? I don’t know. I know that I am not growing spiritually like I have in the past, and I know this is part of the reason why.  I don’t know if it’s reason enough to seek out a new community of believers.

Here’s the thing. I want your thoughts. And honestly, I’m sure I’m not the only guy (or girl) out there who is dealing with something like this. So, have you ever had to leave a church or ministry because you were giving a ton, but not getting much out of it for yourself? Is that a valid reason, or that that a line of selfishness to give yourself an out?

Anonymous would love to read your thoughts in the comments section of this post.

But we all fail.  And some of us are persistent failures.  It happens, it is how humans learn, and how we deal with it makes all the difference.

A while back I was not a Youth Director, but rather, I was a Youth Ministry Assistant.  In gradations of youth ministry scales, that is just above an intern, and just below a director.  You’re supposed to know a few things about youth ministry because you’ve already been an intern and now you are set loose to discover freedom with a few oodles of responsibility.

Upon being hired and oriented, I was given the reigns to a very important ministry in the youth group: the Friday night outreach program.  The youth director told me that I had the freedom to brainstorm, propose, and implement the program with hopes that I would be successful in creating a space that community youth would like to come.  The guidelines were that it would involve food, music, fun, and some form of evangelism.

Given freedom, I was terrified.  When someone is in charge of you and gives you orders, you can always blame the orders or the one giving the orders for failure.  Freedom changes that.  I had to take responsibility for what would be implemented and I would be making a culture all by myself.  In charge of the programs destiny, I began to worry.  What if my ideas were not received well?

I tossed and turned during the nights, and wrote up drafts and proposals for the program and presented what I had come up with.  It was very practical.  We had been moving into a new building with a gym,  a game room with pool tables and ping pong, and we had a stage in a gathering area with a nice sound board.  So I decided that each week I would bring in a local band.  We would start the night off with a big game in the gym that would bring everyone together, and those who didn’t want to listen to the band could hang out in the game room.  It seemed simple, and so I presented the whole shebang with schedule from band load in to sound check to a quick devotion and the night would end.  The presentation was well received and I was given the go.

And I was terrified.

As I thought through my simple plan I realized that there were many moving parts.  (1) I had to bring a team of volunteers along to get used to a new building and a new program culture.  (2) I would have to email and call and MySpace about 15 bands in order to fill in every Friday night for a season.  (3) I would need a sound tech to work with several servant oriented people to help get the bands in and ready.  (4) Amidst the hubbub, I would be giving a short devotion, a reflection, or a scripture verse.  And (5) I would have to build relationships as the host to all the students coming through the doors and ensure that they were connected to each other and to leaders in a positive way.  Lastly (6) I would have to get the gym game up and running.  Oh, and I forgot to mention (7) I would be self conscious of my evaluation from my director.

Thinking through all the moving parts made me more nervous than ever, and as the first date got closer I became somewhat paralyzed.  There was a point while I was searching for bands, in which I did not know if I wanted to move forward.  I knew I would, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to.  But I thought about how I felt and the notion of failure continued to weigh on me.

In passing with my director I decided to let him know how I felt.  I told him that there was a lot to get going and I wasn’t sure of the excellence of everything that needed to come together.  Time was going by and not all the t’s were crossed, nor all the i’s dotted.

I’ll always remember how he responded.  He said, “Don’t be afraid to fail.” It was simple.  He told me that I was allowed to try, and if it failed, then it failed.  What was I going to do?  Permission to fail!  I couldn’t believe it.  Suddenly I felt much better.  Being a perfectionist that often falls short of my own expectations, I realized that the possibility of failure should not stop someone from doing something that needs to be done.   So I went ahead and booted up the program.

After four years with spits and spurts of growth pains, and with the perspective and help of a new Youth Pastor to work with midstream, I would say that the program got to where I wanted it to be.  But it took many failures and people still believing in me to get it right.  In the end, students were getting connected, leaders were doing relationship evangelism, student leaders had developed, I scrapped the band every night idea (allowing it to be special when a band did come) and added video games and music from an iPod set list, and the gym games continued to be popular.  The program grew, and new elements added either failed or succeeded.  Even after leaving, that program continues to minister to students.

If only I had listened to Christ’s words on the Mount:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?  -Matthew 6:25-27

All ministries are a risky venture.  Many of us will fail, but the weight is not squarely on our shoulders.  The spirit of God is looking out for us when we are trying to do good for Him.  Trusting, obeying, and in that, not worrying too much about failure is a part of serving God.  He is greater than us and takes us to places and builds things we cannot imagine.    Fear and trembling at anything other than God will paralyze you and you cannot do the work you are called to do in a state of paralysis.  Just start doing what God is calling you to do.  Persevere, and you will find something valuable at the end of the road.

Daniel Griswold is the Director of Youth at St. Andrew By-The-Sea UMC in Hilton Head Island, SC. Check out his blog at http://danielgriswold.wordpress.com or on Twitter.

But what stuck out too me was some of the the comments they were making about the various ministries in our church. “Surely there’s a retired person in our church who could come by and clean the snow off of my car”, “our youth is only interested in having fun”, “we need to do follow up visit’s more”, “I’ve paid tithes for years, I think I deserve some benefits now”, etc…

I steered clear of that conversation and led the shut-in to talk about their family. It very quickly, became evident that this person had two sons that lived relatively close by. When I asked if their sons helped them out at all they had all kinds of excuses as too why they were too busy. Many of the same reasons they used for their sons, if they would have been honest, are some of the reasons the other people they were complaining about couldn’t be there everyday.

Why do we have a propensity to hold other people (and their children) to such a high level, while we have all the patience and understanding in the world, for ourselves and our children?

To answer my own question I would say human nature. This kind of thing has been happening since the world began.

In the Old Testament David casts judgment on a certain man before he realizes that he is the man:
And David’s anger was greatly kindled against the man; and he said to Nathan, As the LORD liveth, the man that hath done this thing shall surely die: and he shall restore the lamb fourfold, because he did this thing, and because he had no pity. And Nathan said to David, Thou art the man. 2 Sam 12:5-75

The Lord has really been using this experience this work my flesh over. I caught myself doing this while I was driving, while I was talking to my wife, while I was working.

Lord, help me to be as patient with others as I am with myself…
Lord, help me to be as patient with others as you are with me…

Jeremy Pinson is a youth worker. Not sure much else about him, but I’m thankful he wrote this post for us to think about this week.

I wonder if the same thing applies to youth ministry?

Filling up to the max – Are your young people confronted with the rich, deep, passionate prayer lives of people who walk intimately with Jesus? Are they thrown in to environments of extended, humbling worship? Are they exposed to others who flow in the supernatural and who can testify to real-life miracles?

Running completely flat – Have your young people actually witnessed injustice (as opposed to just hearing about it)? Do they regularly find themselves in situations where they are completely out of their depth and need to rely fully on the Holy Spirit? Do they know what it feels like to sit with someone in need and feel powerless to do anything to help?

The consequences for getting this wrong with a mobile phone are reduced potential and decreased effectiveness. Are they any different for a young Christian?

(My fear is this: We get this wrong, and the result is Christian adults who are cynical of the supernatural, apathetic for justice, and lazy in their relationship with Jesus.)

Jarrod Newton is a regular contributor at The Salvation Army’s Youth Leadership Blog.