Simply Sandwich

Happy Holidays

Paula — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 17:23:37 +0000

Greetings!

I hope this holiday season is finding you all well!

Although I have tried to keep this little blog up, my current situation seems to have a different plan for my time. With our recent wind driven power outages, another medical set back for my Mom, the holiday prep and the anticipation of my daughter coming home from college, I have decided to take a bloggy break until after the New Year.

I wish you all a beautiful and blessed holiday and Happy New Year!

xoxo Paula

Sneak a Peek

Paula — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 14:00:36 +0000

Not all Sandwich Mamas take care of their parents under their own roof. If you are living far away from your elderly parents, you are still a full-fledged member of the Sandwich Generation and probably have additional challenges because you are not witnessing your parent’s daily activities. Over the next few weeks, I will highlight long distance caregiving concerns and I hope to provide you with tools to help you with this important task.

As most of you know, until recently, my mom lived in our guesthouse that was just steps from my home. What you may not know is that I was a caregiver for my dad years ago and although he was only about 20 minutes from me, I did not interact with him on a daily basis. When I did have the opportunity to visit him, I would try to soak up any details or information about my dad’s daily life that he did not communicate to me.

So, the first thing you can do as a remote caregiver is to become an assessment expert. That simply means that you acquaint yourself with important warning signs in order to get a full concept of your parent’s situation. When you visit your parents, take note of the following:

1. Check out the auto.

Does the car have multiple dings or scratches?
Does your parent have parking tickets or traffic violations?
Is their car maintained with fluids, fuel and tire pressure?
Does your parent talk about getting lost while driving?
If your parent is driving, what do you think of their road skills?

2. Monitor medications.

Are your parent’s medications organized or clearly labeled?
Are you comfortable with your parent’s ability to take their medications on time?
Can your parent explain to you what they are taking to demonstrate knowledge of this vital issue?

3. Mealtime awareness.

If you are visiting your folks, is the food in the refrigerator fresh?
Are the shelves stocked with canned food or other staples?
When speaking with your parents, do they mention that they missing meals?
Does your parent seem to be at a healthy weight?

4. Home inspection.

When visiting your parents, do you see safety hazards such as electrical cords or throw rugs?
Is the home lighting adequate?
Is there space to move around if your parent uses a walker?
Is the home clean?

5. Financial Fitness.

Do you see charity requests around?
Are there multiple piles of unopened mail?
Are you aware of any unpaid bills?

Now that you are aware of your parent’s situation, you can use this vital information to help make safe decisions and changes for your parents. Stay tuned for more information on long distance caregiving.

Are you a long distance caregiver? What is your biggest concern or challenge?

Ten Ways to Balance the Sandwich

Paula — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 14:29:08 +0000

Calling all Sandwich Mamas!! Taking care of multiple family members can be a challenge so check out this list of tips for your diverse family management:

Recruit. Consider hiring a responsible teen to run simple errands such as picking up supplies, groceries or prescriptions.
Keep the kids busy. If you anticipate a busy day ahead that may be focused on your parent(s), set up a card table for your kids in an out of the way location. Provide puzzles, games or crafts to keep them busy while you get your “parental” work done.
Use your timer. Instead of getting lost in a Sandwich task, use your timer to remind you when it is time to stop.
Barter. Trade off babysitting with a friend. Keep in mind you will have some uninterrupted time when it is her turn. You can use your free time to take your senior on an appointment.
Map it! Before venturing out on your, map the route or research a good phone navigation application.
Accept the offer. If your parent offers to lend a hand to lighten the load, take them up on it! A parent can clip coupons, fold laundry or chop veggies for dinner.
Work ahead. Make multiple meals ahead of time and freeze. This will save you dinner prep time when you have had a long day!
Travel Box. Create an errand running travel box (kept in the car) with small toys, crayons, paper, dry erase boards, markers, etc. It will keep the kids occupied if you have multiple stops to make.
Choose a day. To make scheduling easier, select one day to devote to senior appointments. I used Tuesdays as my dedicated “mom” day, taking her to the senior center, doctor or hair appointments.
Take a break! Schedule an appointment to be kind to yourself. Have a manicure, curl up with a good book, take a 20 minute cat nap or enjoy a warm bubble bath.

What systems do you use to keep your busy family balanced?

Was it Love at First Sight?

Paula — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 14:20:13 +0000

I was over-the-moon excited about my birthday weekend! I am not going to disclose any birthday numbers because frankly, I cannot count that high. After an exhausting month with my mother’s situation, we had plans to join some dear families in San Diego for a quiet getaway.

There were only two more loads of laundry standing between me and a much-needed change of scenery. Apparently, my over-used and over-repaired dryer did not care about my vacation plans and decided to call it quits. I quickly jammed over to the Wishy Wash (thank you to SDR for clarifying the coin laundry title because I do not think I could top that one) and after using 7,865 quarters in the dryer, we were ready to go.

On the way back from an awesome weekend, my hubby, son and I stopped to buy a new washer and dryer set. If you have never shopped for major appliances with a thirteen-year-old boy, you should not do that right away!

Hubby and I inspected and researched every detail of the machines even though we were bombarded with teenage eye rolling, huffy breaths and commands such as, “Just pick one and let’s go!” We finally narrowed down the choices to either, the plain-jane, no frills option or the set with every bell and whistle imaginable.

I confess that I was completely intimidated with the fancy one’s digital display because it resembled an airplane control panel. Fearing that I would never be able to operate these beauties or that the digital factor would shut down leaving me stranded again, I found every excuse in the book to veto the machines. “I do not need that much capacity any more”, “Are you sure they will fit in our laundry room?” “The lid to the washer is glass. Really? What Einstein thought of that? Who wants to stand around gazing at their clothes while they are being washed? Keeping that glass clean would add another chore to my list! Sheesh!”

After a lot more whining (from the boy child – not me!) and decisions, we opted for the multi-bell and whistle option. They were delivered two days later and although it was not “love at first sight”, I am now the happiest gal on the planet. Not only is there every setting you can think of, they also have a joyful little Disneyland-type song when the cycle is complete. I am not afraid to admit that YES, I do stand there and stare at the wash!

Oh, I have to run now – my washer is calling me! Anyone need me to do your laundry??

19 Holiday Assessment Questions

Paula — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 14:01:49 +0000

Although I am clearly not one of them, there are some folks who love spontaneity. This is an awesome concept when your spouse comes home and suggests an impulsive dinner date. Spontaneity during Christmas or any holiday for that matter is a recipe for disaster. There is nothing worse than wandering around a crowded mall trying to think of a perfect gift to buy.

If you add in the care of a parent, you are setting yourself up for epic failure by not taking the time to draw up some holiday plans. If detail management is not your forte, why not break your holiday planning into small, workable units. By taking small steps at a time, you will have much more success.

To help you along, I have provided 19 questions to jumpstart your 2011 holiday planning:

For the main holiday meal, how many people will I be feeding?
Are there other events that require food preparation?
Can I divide this load and if so, with whom?
Are there special food guidelines or requests I need to address? (e.g., allergies, traditions, favorites)
What treats/snacks will I prepare for the holidays? (e.g., include school, holiday parties, gifts, etc.)
Are there alternative meal options? (e.g., catering, restaurants)
What are my family’s priorities regarding to gift giving? (e.g., cost, meaning)
Do I have an established holiday account, if so what is the balance?
What is a reasonable amount to spend on each family member?
Where will my event be held?
How many people will attend?
Do I have enough seating or sleeping options?
Do I need to make alternate sleeping arrangements? (e.g., hotel or other family member’s home)
Are there any special needs to be addressed? (e.g., wheelchairs, walkers/canes, raised carpet, crowded furniture, slick floors)
Can I arrange a day trip for out of town guests? (e.g., museums, points of interest, movies with the kids)
Are there other people I can delegate this task to so I can stay home to prepare? If so, whom?
Are there holiday traditions I would like to maintain? (e.g., theme parks, viewing Christmas lights, ice skating, music)
What 5 activities are priorities for my family? (include parties, performances, church functions)
What activities can be eliminated from our schedule?

There you go friends…19 questions to ponder. Can you add more?