Girl I can Retweet you all night LONG!

In 2010, social media rules Al Gore’s greatest creation: the internets. You’d be hard pressed to find someone without a twitter/facebook/formspring account.

As a techie, I love the innovations made by these websites, however I feel that they can be a gift and a curse. When it comes to relationships, work, or everyday life, your involvement with these websites and different methods of communication can adversely affect your life. There’s many reasons to utilize these sites, and reasons to tread lightly. Like to hear ‘em? Here they go:

Up to Date news in the blink of an eye
I still remember when MJ passed, how the entire internet buckled under the pressure of everyone trying to find information. Twitter is where I first heard that Michael went into cardiac arrest, and everyone was following the situation accordingly. Any information that is available on the internets seem to find its way to Twitter first. Unfortunately, everyone wants to have a “scoop” nowadays and will report anything to get credit (See GURU’s apparent “death” a few weeks ago). You have to have reliable sources, and I’ll always comment that unless it’s a celebrity super close to a situation (i.e. Peyton Manning saying anything about Eli), or there’s a NEWS LINK accompanying said report, I won’t buy it! Also, anyone can hear tings about you or talk your business with no hesitation and retweet that all over twitter, which can destroy a relationship in a matter of seconds!

Stalking at the tips of your fingers
Its super easy for anyone to find out where you on in twitter. Some applications generate geotag links that show on a map where you are. 4square basically details your travelling habits as you unlock new badges and become “mayor” of your virtual location. Hell, we even tell people what we are doing, where we are, where we will be, and where we think we’ll be next! In general it isn’t that serious, but i never understood the fascination with letting a group of people know your whereabouts at all times. Some people get super wild with it, and more power to you, but I like my time off the grid, so pardon me if I stick to jokes and conversation.

Twitter makes everyone a Secret Agent
Twitpic is the greatest invention/ worst thing to happen to social networking. You can let all of your followers see what you are eating [||], sites from your latest vacation, or even pic of…yourself. However, for the individuals who dress crazy, take a slip and fall, or fail to see the hidden camera when you reenact the FAMU Sex Tape make a total fool of themselves, you can rest assured that your unfortunate self will be twitpic’d or twitvid’d to an entire community of social networkers. The craziest part? You will NEVER know! Thanks to these innovations, anyone can become Sherlock Holmes, Jack Bauer, or James Bond in the blink of an eye. Remember, all official cell phones have control over shutter sounds and flash, so when you see someone holding their phone awkwardly to “text” I hope your Spider Sense warns you quick, and you aint doing anything grimy!

The Television viewing Experience on steriods
You ever watch a program on TV alone and had so much commentary that you wish your fam/friends were around to roast? Well Twitter has granted this wish seven fold! Any award show, nationally televised sporting event, reality show, or even movies, are subject to commentary by the largest peanut gallery ever assembled in the history of man! Sites like Twitter and Facebook can make any great moment legendary and any terrible moment infamous, just ask #ChrisBrownsBowtie! Also, one incident can make you a household name or Trending Topic. Think about how many times you’ve said, typed, or used a variant of #Kanyeshrug, or sent a hashtag message in something OTHER THAN TWITTER, and you’ll note that social networking media is more prevalent ever in our lives.

Finally, what is your main reason for using Twitter and other social media. I’ve found that people will join twitter, and say that people tweet too much and they can’t follow along, so they unfollow. I mean….isn’t tweeting the reason to use twitter? Maybe I got it twisted but follower trends get weird at times.=, so I wanted to know from your perspective.

What other pros/cons exist with twitter/facebook and other social media?

Holla!

**** used to make me feel this way.

**The Modern Day Matchmaker is beginning his U.S. tour in DC on March 27th. If you love s*x and relationship talk, you’ll love this. Click here for more details and to find out when he’s coming to a city near you.**

Yeah, I figured I’d just get that in there part out of the way nice and early—and I don’t mean early like I blasted off quick and had to say “Baby, I caught a cramp!” Over the weekend, I was thinking about what my next topic would be. As I sat on my couch with the post panel staring me in the face, I went to open another tab to browse sites and typed in the letter R. Next thing you know, my history popped up and the first thing on that list was a free **** site.  I suggest you don’t try to go there at work unless you don’t have an HR department. Even then, be careful not to put any thoughts into your co-workers’ heads.

But yeah, I used to love ****. When the free love site came up, I yelled out “Yes! Good ‘ol ****tube!” My instinct was to immediately click and browse the newest clips in my favorite category. Then as soon as my manicured index finger (Ya like that girl? Ya like that?) went to hit the return key, I had one of my many realizations. It occurred to me at that moment that I no longer liked **** the way that I used to. Don’t get me wrong. I still occasionally click on something accidentally and somehow ending up losing 20 minutes of time mysteriously before closing my laptop because I heard footsteps.

Back in the day, which honestly isn’t that long ago, I used to get a few doses of **** per week. I set aside time to sit down and admire the artistry that goes deep into the footage. Some of those movies and clips were beautifully written. All the coordination, the rhythm of the pleasure dancing, and the well-crafted scripts that always lead up to a great pop. I mean c’mon. How could someone not watch a **** called The Cosbys. The intro is on youtube so it’s not graphic at all. Go ahead and take a look and you’ll see what I’m talking about. But anyway, I used to really stay up on who the up and coming talent was. And of course I had some old time favorites that I’ve been following since college.

Come to think of it, I may have even ended up in a **** or 2 during my hay-day. I mean what better way to be able to critique your work? Ain’t nothing wrong with watching yourself in action…over and over and over again. Given how much goodness I used to watch, seeing myself hard at work was really just an extension of watching the high quality actors and actresses. And besides, homemade seem to be what’s hot in the streets anyway. I’m sure many of you are aware of the old Morgan State footage and the recent fake FAMU jawn that’s been making it’s rounds aggressively across the internet. Part of the allure of these at-home tapes is the fact that it’s unscripted and unedited. But as far as me personally, none of this stuff really does anything for me the way it used to.

I don’t know if it’s because of age, how busy I am nowadays, or because I’m more aware of the Big Guy upstairs. Maybe it’s because I realized that I’ll never get someone to do a somersault onto my jawn. Who knows? All I know is that at some point, I went from being a fan to be totally indifferent. Maybe my love for adult entertainment will come back one day. Probably not, but we’ll see.

What about you? Do you watch ****? If so, have you ever watched it with your significant other? Does it make you randy or do you just watch it with curiosity to find new moves for your arsenal? Who are your faves? If you don’t watch or make “homemade”, why not? I mean, it is just pieces and coots.

I Used to Love Her (Lacy) and Baby It’s Just My Flip Cam,

Twitter: @slimjackson Website: www.threewaystotakeit.com

Can I get this in a men's XXL?

Janelle: “So, I have a question I have to ask you?”
DuWayne: **prepares for the worst from his 6 month Friend With Benefits** “What’s up?”
J-lo: “Do you want to end this?”
D-Block: “I’m not sure what you mean? End our relationship?”
J-lo: “This isn’t a ‘relationship’ and I don’t think you want a girlfriend. Should we just end this?”
D-block: **thinks to himself “Do I want to end constant s*x with no type of real commitment? Does she think I’m stupid?”**
J-lo: “Well … ?”
D-block: “I enjoy your warm and wet dug-out company and I want to see where this goes because you still won’t do an*l”
J-Lo: “Ok, just wanted to make sure.”

Simon: “Hey, can I ask you something?”
Felicia: “Sure.”
Simping Simon: “So, we’ve been chilling for about 6 months now, right?”
F-drizzy: “Yeah, and it’s been great.”
Simping Simon: “And we’ve gone on 3 trips, gone to countless concerts, and eat nothing but the best food back in DC, right?”
F-drizzy: “Yeah, we have a lot of fun together.”
Simping Simon: “And we decided to wait until it’s right to have s*x, right?”
F-drizzy: “Don’t wanna rush it and ruin something special.”
Simping Simon: “Should we just end this? Seems like we aren’t going to move to the next level and I want a girlfriend”
F-drizzy: **thinks “Do I want to end eating the best and vacations that I don’t have to spend money for … HA!”**
Simping Simon: “Well … ?”
F-drizzy: “The more time we spend together the closer I feel to you and your money. I want to see where this goes cause I’m trying to see paris.”
Simping Simon: “Ok. More Cristal?”

I have been presented with this situation several times in the past.  I have had friends speak of this same scenario.  I have also had many females complain about “surprising” answers to this question.  And as my friend detailed the 28th time he was asked this question … it hit me.

This is a dumb question!

First, I am not talking about relationships.  If you have a real relationship, with real titles, and real emotions … this isn’t for you.  When your actually invested in the other person, they might actually want to get out of the relationship.  He might be tired of your inability to put together an intelligent thought and your unwillingness to swallow.  She might actually be tired of your addiction to the dope game or your inability to move outta mom’s house.  Yeah … this post isn’t for you.

But for people in that gray area …. the undefined purgatory that exists between strangers and boyfriend/girlfriend … I’m talking to you.

There are a few things that both DuWayne and Felicia that you need to realize:

- They have made no commitment of monogamy, relationship or anything
- They are receiving what the need/want (s*x or money)
- They have no immediate plans to move to the “next step” (6 months to decide … right)

So, given the fact that they have what they want, they don’t have to commit to the person, and they don’t really have to do/give the other person anything … why would they want to end it.  That’s like a job that pays me twice what I am worth, only requires me to work once a day, and allows me to pursue other jobs in your free time, asking me “do you want to quit?”.

M*therf* no!

If someone is given everything they want, they have no incentive to stop or end.  If it is taken from them, they can’t do anything about it … but why would they give it up.

So next time you think about asking this question to someone that doesn’t have a title … save your breathe.

Have you ever been asked “do you want to end this?” Did you know your answer before even thinking about it?  Have you asked this question of anyone and actually got a “yes?”  Am I on it today or full of the usual bullsh*t what?!

- SBM aka Don’t ask me dumb questions aka Your favorite blogger’s favorite blogger

That's great, you can juggle...you gonna cook something?

The passage of Civil Right legislation and Affirmative Action laws helped many a black male, and other  single or otherwise, as well as females of all races and creeds.  The ultimate outcome of these actions was an influx of women and other minorities in the workplace and academia.   Let’s face it, it’s not like women haven’t been smarter than men all the time, it’s just that men have had the balls to keep them from the positions of power (If you’re smart, you’ll get that and not over react). In le “good ‘ol days” women stayed at home, made sure the crib(s) sparkled and popped out kids like Weezy dropped mixtapes.  Fast forward to 2010, Weezy is in headin’ to jail and women of this era now have the pleasure of choosing between managing a corporate budget or a household budget.  Classical gender roles have prescribed to us that women are nurtures  and men are the providres, but capitalism has changed the game and in many instances, women run the proverbial asylum.  I talked about this at my other gig with my ‘man-a-hunnid’ grand’ Seattle a while back based on a NY times article…it’s not like it was the Post or something…

The multi-tasking school of thought would suggest that women could juggle the responsibilities of full time housewifery and corporate goonery simultaneously, and many have women have accomplished this feat while keeping their marriages in tact and rearing respectable citizens.  On the other hand, there are a myriad of women that have had to sacrifice either a career, marriage, children or a combination of two out of those three, while men enjoy an easier path to making this happen a reality.  #Notcomplain’…#Imjussayin…

Blogs, radio shows and even network and cable TV have picked up on the fact Rosie O’Donnell has a better chance of marrying Idris Elba than a black woman does.  Steve Harvey wrote a book about it and is even on Good Morning America talking about it, so it must be true. There are a large percentage of men that wouldn’t sleep well at night knowing their significant other pulled in more bread than they did, so you can imagine if they were confronted with  being responsible for the majority of the domestic management, they’d lose it completely.   If you ask many black women, they’ve faced this dilemma or have given deep thought to the best practice for navigating this difficult path.

I can safely say that I’ve never given a second thought to what choice I’ll make about balancing a career and domestic responsibilities, instead I’ve given thought as to how I would pull all that off.  The fact that  women have the good fortune, or maybe the misfortune depending on how you look at it, to bear children, and a man can knock a woman up and keep it moving further complicates this complex equation.  I’m sure if you showed the picture up top to a focus group, you’d get people to respond that while the woman in the picture may be juggling a lot, there are still things that she has left out.  I’m also sure you’d get a wide range of answers from the participants as to what she is missing.  Ultimately, every woman can decide what course she will take, but let’s face it, she didn’t get a MA so she could clean drawers.  Once again, #notcomplain…#imjussayin

Any women out there that know what I am talking about?  Any men out there that have put a woman in this position or are currently dealing with something like this?  In the interest of being a socially conscious blogger, I’d advise you to think about what you can do to help the sisters out with this.  It’s Friday, and it’s not like you were going to do work anyway, so you might as well get deep with me.

Read for Michael’s part but liked Sonny’s better,

“There must be more good women than men percentage-wise, So her chance of having a husband just minimized, Thats why a lot of girls claim they aren’t into guys, And mess with other girls part time to improvise”  (Source: Kanye West – Doing Girls Wrong)

Girl-on-Girl action, made from the best stuff on earth. Most men seem to find girl on girl action to be an ultimate turn on. Something about the movie, She Hate Me, made every man in America quiver.

However, here lately it seems like that same action is causing women to quiver too.

It was in my last few years of high school that I noticed that the number of women crossing over was not only rising, but it was also becoming more acceptable to be out in the open about it. It started with a few girls around school being known for “turning girls out.” Then there were a group of chicks who had basically had widely publicized bad luck with boys they should have never been so serious about to begin with “being turned out.” (In my personal opinion, it was always some of the best looking girls in school. I’m glad the couple joints I was getting at in HS were so far away from that, I had no worries.) So there’s a few good things that come out of it, and there are a few bad things that come out of it. Mainly, I’m glad that homophobia in the world is going down. I’ve always stood firm that I know what I’m about and taking shots at what another man/woman is about ain’t something I got time to worry about.

Now that we’ve got the formalities out the way, bi-curiosity is something different to me. It’s about those women who have an urge to hook up with a woman. It causes them to develop woman-crushes. It’s about that story you heard from your home girl about the girl who was kissing her a little too long before she decided to tell her to stop. (I think women set themselves up for stuff like this because it’s not uncommon for women to acknowledge that other women are gorgeous or sexy.)

I’m going to touch on three situations and then I’m going to ask three questions. The situations are the ones that I find entertaining and the questions are ones that I want answered. (If you don’t know the answer, I’m sure some of you know some girls who do. Help me out.)

Situation #1 – We’re in the club with a group of our female friends. Another group of girls enter the club and one of our female friends comments, “Those girls be hooking up with other girls.” All the guys, while not right away, find a way to commit these girls to mental memory… just in case. Another one of the females comments, “That one right there. [Points at one in the group]. That’s the ring leader, she’s turning them all out. I wonder how she does it.” I know, and any man with a clue knows, that girl is already in the danger zone.

Situation #2 – I have a friend who told me she met a girl, (who likes girls), and how they talk regularly. They go out at night to clubs and lounges together. They have a lot of fun together, but she’s not interested in hooking up with a girl. However, she’s admitted that if she was going to hook up with a girl, this girl would be her. I told her, sooner or later, more than likely sooner, something is going to pop off.

Situation #3 – At a house party, while drinking heavily a Nicky Minaj video comes on TV. The following conversation ensues.

Sekinah – I heard Nicky is bisexual.
Andrea – Disgusting.
Me – Perfect.
Carl – LOL, I don’t see why women get mad at her for doing her.
Andrea – What if I told you, “I heard Idris Elba was bisexual… PERFECT.”
Me – I would not care, I do not think about Idris at all.
Sekinah – I hooked up with a girl before.
[Peculiar pause in the room. All men go to their Picture-in-Picture and visualize what it would be like for Sekinah to hook up with another woman.]

Now I got Three Questions: Do you think more women than admit it have hooked up with women? Does a fast lifestyle play a part in this situation? Does it bother lesbians when a chick just wants to hook up and doesn’t really want anything more?

I apologize for getting deep on you in the end. (#PAUSE).

Anyway, speak on it SBM massive. Once you guys get going, I’ll be sure to post some of my personal stories to instigate some dialogue. And as always don’t forget to get on twitter, TWEET about the article and invite new people to the conversation. (Follow me @DrJayJack) We here at SBM appreciate your support.

Best pic I could find. #youmad?

The livewire at singleblackmale.netorg has been buzzing ever since our domain switch. We’re received numerous emails offering sex asking for our help. So, as the High Priest of Humpday, the Sultan of the #swindle, and the dude who needed this email to complete his post for the week is always willing to assist, I want to share this email with the SBMNation and see if we can solve this problem:

Do men ever fear losing a special woman or do they always feel that the next best thing is/ could be around the corner?

The short answer to this is Yes and Yes, but it depends. If I just left it at that, you all would roast me and cal me a charlatan, so let me explain further. When a man finds a woman whom he feels is special, 2 thoughts generally go through his head:

1) Is she really that special woman?

2) Am I ready to have this special woman?

Typically, the  process to go from acquaintances to friends to a couple determine whether #1 is accurate. If that special woman entails being “The One” , then their time in that relationship will determine whether or not she really is THAT special woman. A mans feelings over time will tell him if his lady is a detour on the highway to happiness or the destination. When he knows in his gut and heart that she’s more important than just another girlfriend, then #2 can seep into his psyche. This fear is a mind killer, who can create hesitation, apprehension, and doubt in a man’s mind about the woman. It may cause him not to make things official, not to take the next step, or to not take the woman seriously. If the man suffered some type of serious heartbreak prior, then #2 is almost expected and a prerequisite thought process when evaluating the new lady in his life.

His actions related to thought process #2 can cause women to become frustrated, angry, and possibly walk out of the mans life. What’s funny is most men don’t ever realize they have this fear until the woman leaves him! A lot of times, whether no problems arise or the regular problems in relationships occur, a man wouldn’t feel threatened of losing that woman, especially if he’s confident in himself and the relationship. Women ending the relationship in this case would be like pulling the rug out from under men. When they hit the floor, the light bulb turns on, the ‘What the hell did I do?” feelings begin, and the recovery plan is devised to reclaim their lost love.

On the flip side,  that same fear that makes men hesitant to either officially wife his shorty, marry his shorty, or anything else, may occur from a fear of the unknown. You may feel that maybe the grass is greener on the other side, and you could possibly make a huge mistake in committing/staying with your current female. These fears can either manifest through feelings or withdrawal from their prior bachelor life, if the couple has major problems (arguing, etc), if the woman has genuinely treated the dude wrong, or if the dude isn’t as focused as he or she thinks! If a man or woman is confident in themselves, they will always have it in the back of their head that they will be OK. It’s all good until you’re on the bad end of a break-up though. Hopefully you can maintain that same resolve.

I think men and women should feel that all won’t be lost if they don’t end up with “The One”. I know dudes and women who’ve had multiple “Ones” in their life. They call it fate, while Tupac and I beg to differ:

At the same time, we shouldn’t use this fear of the unknown as an excuse to give < 100% in a relationship. You make your decisions in life and unless you are psychic, you do it without knowledge of the outcome. Many times we have no problems making a bed. Ask us to lie in it, and then we start complaining. Relationships take faith, work, and commitment to thrive. Sometimes, you give that commitment and the relationship still fails. Welcome to life, kiddo. Take it from someone whose fears have led to both triumph and disaster in relationships, you can’t second guess yourself or dwell on negativity. Whether you aren’t sure if the person is the one, you’re scared, or you’re curious about what else is out there, just know that whatever decision you make, you have to live with the consequences.

I think I covered it all. What do you think. Do you cosign or no-sign? lets assist this young lady and set this blog owt like Slim and RCLS at a good bruhz function.

Peace,

My daughter can do better than you! Grr!

Antwan: Hey baby. Let me talk to you. I just found out some news…
Beth: Yeah boo. What’s up?
Antwan: I just got a call from my mom. **sigh**
Beth: Everything okay?
Antwan: Yeah. Sorta. No one is sick or passed away.
Beth: Okay great. So what is it?
Antwan: This girl I used to mess with 5 years ago showed up at my momma crib with a kid. She said it’s mine and wants me to get some blood work done to prove it.
Beth: What?!
Antwan: Yeah. I gotta go tomorrow for the paternity test.
**2 days later**
Antwan: Yeah, it’s mine. I love you baby.
Beth: I love you too, but my momma isn’t gonna stand for you having a baby momma. I think we need to delay the wedding. She’s gonna give me that talk about how I can do better like she always does
**Antwan is simultaneously reinvigorated, frustrated, and saddened**
Antwan: Your mother…always got something to say. Eff her opinion! No offense.

There are a couple of issues at play in this scenario. The man caught a really bad break. It’s a good thing he didn’t go on Maury because there would have been no back-flips for him. The other thing is his girl basically wants to delay marriage because she’s worried about what her mother is going to say and think about her being married to a man with a stray seed. Though this type of situation decreases with age, it most certainly does still occur.

If I were in this situation, the only thing I’d be certain of is that I’d fulfill my obligations as a father. I don’t want some kid growing up to hate me because his mom filled his head with foolishness about me. Nobody in my family is a deadbeat and I’m not going to be the first one. I also couldn’t see myself proposing **shivers** to a chick who didn’t know how to stand up to her family.

Quite honestly, I don’t care if shorty’s mom doesn’t love or like me as long as she does. We’d just have to have one of those Monster-in-Law type relationships until “mommy dearest” slips on a banana peel and can’t come over to the crib anymore. Sh*t, I’ve been disliked by a girl’s parents before. It wasn’t because I put her into a human pretzel of anything in particular I did other than be born of non-Caribbean parents. That relationship fizzled because I couldn’t even go to her crib when I was in her town. I, a working professional and full-time grown ass man, had to stay at a hotel and sneak around on some Romeo and Juliet type mess. I know a few other men that have endured similar tomfoolery with their boo’s parents and none of those guys are with those chicks anymore either.

On the other hand, I have isolated accounts of women not being liked by their boo’s mother. And even in those situations where the mom doesn’t like the girl, the men have stayed with their respective shorties and basically put up a fight with their parents to ensure their girl felt respected at the least. I wonder nowadays at what age do women people stop listening to their parents because this phenomenon seems to affect one gender more than the other. I know most of the people visiting this site aren’t on a leash and probably don’t have a parent finding something wrong with every significant other and telling them they can do better, but I really am curious.

I touched on a couple things here, so there are a few questions. Ladies, what would you do if you were engaged and your man found out he had a stray seed? What would you tell your family? Fellas, how would you handle this? Everybody, at what point does the opinion of your parents or those who brought you up not matter anymore? And lastly, why can’t a regular Black guy date a woman with Caribbean parents in peace?lol. No shots. Just reflecting.

Momma said there’d be blogs like this,

Twitter: @slimjackson Website: www.threewaystotakeit.com

Only a Type-A gets paid!

I don’t think there is anything I can say about loose women that hasn’t already been covered by us and many more.

We told you how to tell if she was a garden variety tool, broke down the difference between a female player and a ho, Dr. J shocked ya’ll by telling you the truth of the ho label, and Slim and I broke down this “Doing me” nonsense.

And tha’s just the tip of it.  As guys … we have a lot to say about the topic.

But here at SBM.org, I strive to hit both sides of any topic.  I can’t just talk about ying without covering the yang.

So here we are …

While it is impossible for a man to be a hoe … he can be a whore.  And not the same type of dirty and disease ridden variety that some females strive for … but a slightly different breed that recognizes the differences between the sexes, but still chastises the reckless behavior.  Yes … I am talking about the Man-Whore.

First and Foremost … every promiscuous man is a qualified man-whore.  I don’t know the magical number that officially gains a male entry into the club, but at some point your not just “sowing your oats” and you have officially reached whoredom.  Unlike with a regular whore/hoe/slut … there are two distinctive types of man-whore.  The good kind and the bad kind.

Type A – The Player

This man-whore simply likes to fornicate.  He loves women, loves the chase, and just isn’t a fan of commitment.  He’s not about to just sleep with anyone as he has standards and isn’t about to let a lowly 3 get in his bed just so he can bust one.  He’s not paying for it, he’s not begging, and he doesn’t need crazy lies to “win”.  The women he usually seduces want something more and might be mad they can’t have him.  And rarely will he put himself in danger just from some beats … always strapped.  Basically … your typical ladies man.  Think Bill Bellamy in “How to be a Player”.

Type B – The Bottom Feeder

This sad man-whore gets in where he can.  He will smash whoever and whatever that has a va-jay-jay and will let him.  Fat ones, ugly ones, well known hoes and sluts, and you might catch him rolling around the high school or the freshman dorm, even though he is 2 months away from 30.  He might just be suffering from low self-esteem and has spent his life trying to compensate for the time the girls table laughed at him in high school.  His treatment of women is deplorable, and rarely is a woman coming back for seconds.  As a fellow man, I cannot condemn his actions … but brotha needs to get his life together.  There is a good chance he will catch one or more STDs and get some really ugly chick pregnant that he can’t take out in public.

Now .. these two individuals are man-whores just the same and are committed to a life of promiscuity.  But we see that one is the type of guy 50% of the male populace tries to be … while the other is what 75% of those trying to be a player end up achieving (for you non math folks that leaves about 12.5% of real players).

It’s a well known fact that society is a lot less likely to shun a man for racking up McDonald’s numbers.  I’m not going to say whether it’s right or wrong because we all know that it’s OK because that is a choice only to be made by the girlfriend.  And if she doesn’t care … then no other hating (I want to retire the word … I really do … but I need a substitute) a$$ female individual should either.

Man-whores can be reformed.  At some point … it just gets old (for most).  Most men realize that there is more to life than just beating random box.  When that epiphany comes, a man can return his man-whore membership and settle down.

To the women, are you OK with a Type-A man-whore?  Have you fell victim to a Type-B that you want to forget?  What do you think about man-whores period?  To the men … feel me?

- SBM aka Never has never wanted to join the club aka One or two “incidents” doesn’t give you the label

Short guys get models too

It’s been awhile since I’ve gotten an email that I felt needed a public response, but that time has finally come again.

For those of you unfamiliar with the process, sometimes when I get an personal question I feel the need to share this person’s inquiry with the world as it may help someone else.  But most importantly, the combined advice of several thousand readers (yes I’m talking about you … the SBM fam) is a lot more helpful than just me alone.

Onto the letter …

Hello SBM…

First, I must say I can’t believe I am emailing SBM and I hope that you all don’t know me lol. Second, I love the blog…entertaining yet informative.

So, I’ll try to make this short and sweet. There are 2 guys… Let’s call them Diddy and Will. First, I’ll tell you I’ve been away from home for about 5 months now and will return home in a few weeks, I am working abroad temporarily. Ok so before I left, I was dating Diddy for about 5+ months…we would go out on dates (real ones lol), most days of the week…and we were s*xually involved. Diddy is attractive physically (can be a lil full of himself in regards to his looks but I digress…)….he could be a little more mentally stimulating but you know…he’s funny and we have fun together, he’s not college educated & that bothers me a bit but I’m learning to get over it…trying….(though he was in the armed forces) I met Diddy’s family and we’re, u know.. ok. Then there is Will…met Will when I was visiting friends in another city. Will is relatively attractive, smart, progressive, open-minded…he’s attractive to me in ways that Diddy isn’t..I feel like Will is more on “my level” mentally. I could actually see him being a boyfriend sooner than Diddy…only one thing…he’s SHORT….I’m tall but not gigantic…about 5′8…and he’s about 5′6 or 5′5….Am I being shallow if this is a dealbreaker for me?. Though he stimulates me sooo much mentally…we talk about everything….and since I’ve been abroad I feel that we have gotten closer, he’s really been there for me…even closer than Diddy and I are…(but that’s another email lol) BUT I’m just not into short guys…Is that wrong to have a preference in that respect? I feel terrible writing this email…but I do need some advice.

Signed
“Why he gotta be so short?”

Don’t worry … I’m sure we have never met because you would still be horse from screaming my name all night

First and foremost, to answer your question: yes … you are being shallow.

You are disqualifying a good guy for something that he can’t control and that is merely attached to looks.  I was too lazy busy to look up the definition of shallow, but I’m pretty sure there isn’t going to be much disagreement from that point.

But … everyone is shallow to some extent.  It’s kind of human nature.  For example, I hate weaves.  A woman’s decision to wear a weave does not mean she is a bad person and does not detract from her inner beauty … but at the end of the day I don’t like them.

But just as I don’t like weaves … I’m not willing to let go the future Mrs. SBM over some horse hair (yeah I said it).  It can be hard, if not impossible, to find someone who gives you that “woo woo woo” (circa Martin) feeling, and sometimes it’s worth giving up something you thought you really wanted, but really ain’t that important.

This is a classic case of the 80/20 rule.  While Diddy is a “good” guy he represents the 20.  It seems you like him mainly because of the s*x and his looks (your gonna fight me for saying this … but trust me!).  Will (I hope that isn’t his real name) seems to compliment you on a lot more levels  … and represents that 80.

20s are for jumping off and friends with benefits … 80s make husbands.

Decide what you want and choose accordingly.

But at the end of the day, its up to you.  If you give Will a real chance … and I mean a real serious chance to make you happy, and you just can’t get over his height … well … dead it.  If it really is that important to you, then it ain’t worth it.  But I guarantee you won’t notice if after he’s proven himself.

Oh yeah … 5+ months of dating with no relationship means your getting played.  That “meet the familly” isht has been a player tactic for years.  Hell … my dad new exactly what his role was when a random came through the house.

SBM Fam … throw in your 2 cents!

-SBM aka I want 80% aka 1/2 of the Pop & Son Team

*** Admin Note ***
Remember to tell your peoples n’ them that we ain’t blocked at their job anymore.  SingleBlackMale.ORG
-SBM
**************

The past few weeks have been pretty rough on the ladies… we know. A lot of the blogs that I we write here at SBM sometimes defend men, bash women, or are rants that are not meant to educate, but entertain. I would like to make it clear that I do believe that for every post about a women, a similar comparison can be made to the men. In 2004, Kanye West came on the scene with his second single, “All Falls Down,” about how we all have insecurities as Slim would call them. To me, there’s a few things that single, dating and married Black men and women do that we probably should own up to and work on.

Unpaid & Late Bills – I have a cousin who has had every cell phone service that ever came out. I think now she’s got MetroPCS because Sprint, Verizon, TMobile, AT&T, etc. they refuse to give her another phone because she never paid her bill. I ain’t going to lie to you, I sometimes carry a balance on my cell phone bill too. (In my defense, I just like waiting for my company reimbursement check before I pay the bill.)

Pop Champagne Like It’s My Middle Name – I have no idea why I buy bottles in the club. I am being perfectly honest, I can’t afford it. But that doesn’t stop me from popping a bottle every chance I get. There is something about holding that bottle of Rose in the VIP section that is so fun, I’m willing to go in debt to do it.

Everybody in the Club Getting Tipsy – I will admit that I tend to get excessively drunk as a way to not care about my surroundings. Don’t judge me either! Most of you all know that you needed to get wasted to go to college parties because if not, you realized how wack they were. Or how about have you ever went to a party, paid cover and once you were inside you realized it was dead? You know what I do? Make it fun.

Baby I’m Selfish – When I’m stepping out on the town I like to have the new new hotness on. So I’m not above of buying something and then hiding all the rest of an item in a department store. #kanyeshrug.

I Think I’m Hot Son – Secretly, even though I don’t tell anyone, I compare myself to my enemies and friends. It makes me feel like I’m doing something right, if I can find someone whose worse off than me. Don’t front, if you think I’m alone, consider this; the media benefits off the fact that everyone enjoys to hear someone is worse off than them.

Uhhhhhh, It Ain’t My Fault – I’m not even gonna front, I blame chicks for stuff that is not even close to their fault. Women y’all do it too. Fair exchange is no robbery. So I blame women for just about everything I can. I blame them for the bad economy, I blame them for the current status of Black love, I blame them for bad children on Metro, the weather, my investment portfolio losses, and premature ejaculation or deflation.

Anyway, these are some things that I do that show me that I’m not perfect and I don’t claim to be. What about the faithful SBM massive, got a couple faults you want to get off your chest?