SIPPYCUPS & CUFFLINKS

Sippy Cup Salad

2013-09-13T09:00:00.000-04:00

Here are two random facts:

Sippy Cup and Mr. Cufflinks are fans of hip hop.
Sippy Cup and Mr. Cufflinks are fans of food.

When I first heard that 2 Chainz was including a 28-page cookbook with his new album B.O.A.T.S. 2 #Metime, I was confused but nevertheless excited at the prospects of "Mr. Tru" himself giving his fans instructions on how to cook. I am happy to say, he has not let me down.

In recognition of this amazing moment, I present to you the first Sippy Cup Recipe:

Sippy Cup Salad

1. Take head of lettuce.

2. Throw it in the garbage.

3. Do a celebratory dance.

4. Eat a bag of Haribo Gummy Bears.

5. Do another celebratory dance.

Disclaimer: The M.O.M. is not a fan of these recipes and believes that all children (including those of the 32-year-old variety) should eat a nutritious diet full of vitamins, vegetables and other things which taste terrible.

What I Should Have Said (2)

2013-09-12T09:00:00.000-04:00

M.O.M.: "Can you change the baby's diaper please? I have to unload the dryer."

What I Should Have Said:

"Yes."

What I Did Say:

"Naaaaah. I don't feel like getting up."

Disclaimer: I was clearly joking. For some reason, the M.O.M. did not find it funny.

Car Service Chivalry

2013-09-10T09:00:00.000-04:00

Me (opening the driver-side, rear door of the cab): "After you m'lady."

M.O.M. (getting in and sliding over in the rear seat): "Gee thanks."

Me (getting in, telling the driver our destination, and then turning to her): "What? What did I do wrong?"

M.O.M.: "I had to slide all the way over to this side. If you wanted to be a gentlemen, you would have opened the door, closed it, and walked around to the other side and gotten in."

Me (after a few seconds of silence): "But I didn't want to do all of that. That seems like a lot of work."

M.O.M. (sighing): "How nice."

What I Should Have Said (1)

2013-08-29T09:30:00.000-04:00

What I Should Have Said:

"Hey love, light of my life, you are the most amazing woman and your tireless efforts to maintain our household and raise our children are appreciated beyond comprehension."

What I Did Say:

"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn baby! You look TIRED!"

More Than Mommy's Iced Tea

2013-08-27T09:00:00.000-04:00

Me (tucking Sippy Cup into bed): "Alright little dude. Have a good night."

Sippy Cup (fluffing his pillow): "Thanks. You too."

Me (leaning over the side rail of his loft bed to kiss his forehead): "I love you champ."

Sippy Cup (smiling): "I love you too Daddy."

Me (tilting my head to the side): "Really?"

Sippy Cup: "Yeah!"

Me (leaning against his loft bed): "How much?"

Sippy Cup (thinking for a few seconds): "I love you a lot Daddy. More than Iced Tea."

Me (laughing): "More than Snapple Iced Tea? Or the really good iced tea that Mommy makes from scratch?"

Sippy Cup (whispering): "More than Mommy's Iced Tea."

Me (leaning over to give him a hug and another kiss): "Good. Because I love you more than Mommy's iced tea too. Good night buddy."

Sippy Cup (snuggling into his pillow): "Good night Daddy."

Justin vs. Justin

2013-08-26T09:00:00.000-04:00

(Sippy Cup and the M.O.M. are watching Justin Timberlake's performance

at the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards)

Sippy Cup (pointing at the screen): "Who is that?"

M.O.M. (in shock): "What?! You don't know who that is? That's Justin Timberlake!"

Sippy Cup: "Oh. Ok. Is Justin Bieber going to sing too?"

M.O.M. (gasping): "Why would you want him to sing? Listen to JT! Do you hear that? He is amazing!"

Sippy Cup: "Right. But is Justin Bieber going to be there?"

M.O.M.: "I don't know. And I don't care. Listen to that man! Do you hear that? That is the voice of an angel! You see that statue they're giving him? That's the best award you can possibly get! And he's getting it! Do you know where Justin Bieber is right now? Not there. That's where he is."

Sippy Cup (after a few seconds of silence): "I don't care about all of those words you're saying. I just want to hear Justin Bieber sing. He's cool."

Me (from the kitchen): "Ha! Suck it JT!"

5 Things Princess Teacup Is Afraid Of

2013-08-23T09:00:00.000-04:00

As it turns out, my daughter is not a fearless warrior princess.

I have discovered 5 specific things that terrify her.

As expected, they are completely ludicrous.

My Black & Decker Power Drill
The Exhaust Fan on our Range Hood
Screwdrivers
Vacuum Cleaners
Johnny Depp's Tonto from "The Lone Ranger"

Field Station: Dinosaurs

2013-08-19T09:00:00.000-04:00

Did you know that you can visit Jurassic Park in New Jersey? I sure didn't. But the M.O.M. (with her uncanny ability to find amazing things to do with the goblins on the weekends) definitely did.

This past Saturday, we visited Field Station: Dinosaurs. The Field Station is located in Secaucus, New Jersey and is home to over thirty life-sized animatronic dinosaurs. It is over twenty acres total and built at the base of a 150 million year-old rock formation. But these details are insignificant when you realize that you are walking along paths next to life-sized animatronic dinosaurs. The six-year-old boy inside of me had a heart attack. And the six-year-old boy walking next to me had a heart attack as well.

Editor's Note: We thought it best to leave Princess Teacup with Grandma Nina since we wanted to spend some time alone with our little homie. And because I didn't want her to try and wrestle a Velociraptor.

Please follow the jump for more amazing photos from our "Mommy and Daddy Date with Sippy Cup".

"Whoa..."

Sippy Cup approached Jurassic Park with a determined gait...

...and was promptly greeted by this lovely monster. I cannot remember its given scientific name but let's just go with "monster" for now.

Thankfully, the Apatosaurus was a much gentler creature.

As was the Stegosaurus.

I ran away from this dude so I have no idea what he's called.

Sippy Cup was enjoying the trip. But he had only one dinosaur on his "must see" list.

He found it on the map...

...and took off running...

...and found him hiding around a corner.

You would think they wouldn't be this calm in front of a Tyrannosaurus Rex. But, then again, we live with Princess Teacup. Everything else is pretty tame once you've lived with her.

Princess Teacup: Lost In Translation (16-20)

2013-08-15T09:00:00.000-04:00

I already have provided our readers with fifteen basic words and phrases to keep them as safe as possible just in case they should ever find themselves alone with my daughter for some absurd reason.

Here are 5 more words and/or phrases to help you survive your time. Do not be fooled by her cuteness. She is a warrior. Tread carefully

"I.T." - Iced Tea; although it may be confusing, she is not asking for technical support for her server or computer network. She is actually asking for a glass of home-made iced tea. This will never be used in a full sentence; it will just be requested, completely at random, and most especially when you are not home. I.E. (while on the train) "Daddy? I.T.?"

"Flip-Flip" - Netflix; contrary to what your instincts may tell you, she is not asking to be flipped in the air. She actually wants to watch a cartoon program on Netflix. Please note: if you mistakenly flip her in the air, be prepared to spend the rest of your day flipping her in the air. I.E. "I want flip-flip Daddy! Flip-flip!"

"Pa-Nino" - Padrino a.k.a. Godfather; Princess Teacup loves her Godfather; mostly because he loves her and spoils her but primarily because he takes her to Shake Shack. She loves Shake Shack. I.E. "Where's Pa-Nino? I want Pa-Nino!"

"My Choos!" - My Shoes; she is actually requesting her beloved Crocs. If you have the audacity to bring her another pair of shoes (which are more to her father's sartorial preference), she will attempt to throw said shoes at your face. Please note: if she is requesting her "choos", she is also requesting to be taken outside. She will not care if it is raining gallons of water or if it is roughly 343 degrees outside. I.E. "I want my choos! I want Pa-Nino!"

"Sanwish" - Unknown; I'm including this one because I have no idea what it means. I think she's saying "Sandwich" but, if you give her a sandwich when she says "Sanwish", she'll just stare at you like you're an idiot. At times, she will come up to me and whisper "Sanwish" into my ear. She'll shake her head while saying it. As I said, I have no idea what it means or how it started. It is frightening. I'm including it in this list in the hopes that you'll help me divine her meaning. I.E. "Sanwish!" (whispering in my ear while I'm trying to take a nap).

Remember His Name

2013-08-13T12:00:00.000-04:00

Editor's Note: This post, admittedly, has nothing to do with raising children. But it has everything to do with supporting my amazing cousin and his art. Click here to have your eyeballs body-slammed

by Jonathan Mejia's creativity.

Movies With Awesome Dads (11)

2013-08-12T09:00:00.000-04:00

* Editors Note - yes, I'm talking about Master Splinter *

The Blues

2013-08-08T09:00:00.001-04:00

Me (singing Elton John's classic "I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues" in my best Elton John impression): "And I guess that's why they call it the blues!"

M.O.M. (getting changed into her pajamas): "Please stop."

Me (standing behind her, singing into her ear): "Time on my hands could be time spent with you!"

M.O.M. (walking away): "Seriously?"

Me (cutting in front of her and dropping my voice to a romantic whisper): "Laughing like children..."

M.O.M. (hanging her head in shame and sighing)

Me (gently lifting her chin so that I can stare lovingly into her eyes): "...living like lovers..."

M.O.M. (chewing on her upper lip so that she won't laugh or punch me in the face)

Me (dropping to my knees): "...rooooooooooolling like thunder, under the cooooovvveerrrrs!"

M.O.M. (stepping past me to close the windows): "You're an idiot."

Me (jumping to my feet for the grand finale): "AND I GUESS THAT'S WHY THEY CALL IT THE BLUES!!!!!"

M.O.M. (turning to face me): "Oh my God! Shutup!"

Me (bowing and then giving myself a high-five): "You really have no idea just how lucky you are that you get to live with all this awesome."

Things I Never Thought I'd Have To Say (14)

2013-08-07T09:00:00.001-04:00

"Dude, you've been talking about Pokemon for, literally, 3 hours."

Saturday Morning Cartoon (4)

2013-08-06T09:00:00.001-04:00

* Editors Note : Today is our 550th post (courtesy of Jon Mejia). The saga continues... *

Cardio Eating

2013-08-05T09:00:00.001-04:00

I recently read a great article on The Good Men Project called "5 Things We Can Learn About How to Eat By Watching Kids".

The advice was sound, logical and simple and you should follow the link to the read the article (but only after you have finished reading mine, duh).

Thinking of this article, I watched Princess Teacup the other day and realized that her preferred method of eating is also a great way of controlling your appetite and managing your weight.

I call it Cardio Eating.

"Cardio Eating" is pretty simple: as you are eating your snack (i.e. apple, banana, Bounty Paper Towel, etc.) you take small bites and then run around the house like a maniac. When you are done running, you return to your snack and take another few quick bites before resuming your high-intensity running. If while you are running your father (thinking you have finished your snack and just want to play) throws it away, you grab the nearest toy (i.e. Duplo block, rubber pirate sword, die-cast metal Hot Wheels race car, etc.) and promptly threaten him with it.

It is a surprisingly effective approach to eating. However, I would advise that you get professional medical clearance before attempting "Cardio Eating". I tried it once and promptly passed out with cookie crumbs all over my shirt. The M.O.M. was not amused.

Conversations With My Daughter (2)

2013-08-02T09:00:00.000-04:00

My daughter is 2 years-old. Sometimes we talk. It never makes any sense.

Me (calling out from the bathroom): "Baby. Where did you put the hair brush?"

Princess Teacup (walking into the bathroom): "The brush?"

Me: "Yes. I saw you playing with it."

Princess Teacup (quickly looking over her shoulder and then back at me): "The brush flew away Daddy."

Me (crossing my arms): "The brush flew away? Really? How did the brush fly away?"

Princess Teacup (pointing to the sky, spinning in circles, and making fart noises with her tongue)

Me (sighing): "Ok. I guess I won't comb your hair today."

Princess Teacup (running away, laughing): "Super Grover!"

Good Luck

2013-08-01T09:00:00.000-04:00

Sippy Cup (changing into his pajamas): "Mom, why is purple your favorite color?"

M.O.M. (changing Princess Teacup's diaper): "I don't know. I just like it."

Sippy Cup (dancing in front of the mirror): "But why?"

M.O.M.: "I don't know. I don't have a reason. Why is red your favorite color?"

Sippy Cup (suddenly very serious): "Because it's the color of strawberries. And I love strawberries."

M.O.M. (a little surprised): "Wow. I wasn't expecting an actual answer."

Sippy Cup (going back to his dance routine): "It's also the color of good luck in China."

Me (looking at the M.O.M.): "I've just given up understanding how he knows the things he knows."

Favorites (Age 6)

2013-07-31T09:00:00.000-04:00

A List of Sippy Cup's Favorite Things (Age 6)

Favorite Movie - Despicable Me 2

Favorite Book - The Mighty Avengers: An Origin Story

Favorite Toy - Skylanders Giants (Video Game)

Favorite Color - Red

Favorite Baseball Team - Atlanta Braves

Stand-Up Routine

2013-07-30T09:00:00.000-04:00

Sippy Cup: "Hey Dad. Why can't the giraffe ride in the car?"

Me: "Wait. Is this a joke? I'm confused."

Sippy Cup (giggling): "Yeah. So why can't the giraffe ride in the car?"

Me: "I don't know."

Sippy Cup (jumping up and down): "Because his neck is too long!"

Me (scrunching my forehead in confusion): "Uhm, I don't think you know how jokes work."

Sippy Cup: "Yes I do. Why can't the giant sit in your house?"

Me: "Okay. I'm game. Let's try this again. I don't know. Why can't the giant sit in my house?"

Sippy Cup (giggling maniacally): "Because he's too big and fat!"

Me: "You, my good sir, are silly."

Sippy Cup (laughing): "I'm so hilarious!"

Conversations With My Daughter (1)

2013-07-29T09:00:00.000-04:00

My daughter is 2 years-old. Sometimes we talk. It never makes any sense.

Princess Teacup: "Daddy. Where Mommy go?"

Me: "To the supermarket baby."

Princess Teacup (confused): "The supermarcus?"

Me: "Close. The supermarket."

Princess Teacup: "Why?"

Me: "She went to do the food shopping."

Princess Teacup: "Oh my God."

Me: "What happened?"

Princess Teacup (pointing to the floor): "Look Daddy!"

Me (looking down): "I don't see what you're pointing to..."

Princess Teacup: "I want pickle."

Me: "I don't think you should be eating a pickle at 9:30 in the morning."

Princess Teacup: "I want pickle."

Me: "Fine. Let's go to the kitchen."

Princess Teacup (laughing): "You silly Daddy!"

Me: "This is confusing."

Princess Teacup (in a sing-song lilt): "I'm gonna eat bananas!"

My 5 New Jobs Since I Became a Dad

2013-07-25T09:00:00.000-04:00

When you become a father, you have a vague understanding of the responsibilities that lay ahead of you: diaper changing, late-night feedings, anything and everything your wife tells you to do since (admittedly) she worked a lot harder throughout the pregnancy, etc.

What I was not prepared for, however, were the additional responsibilities that you unexpectedly inherit once you become a Dad. However, while you may not be prepared for these new roles that you assume as a Dad, you eventually learn how to get them done (or you learn how to find the YouTube videos which will teach you the proper way to get them done).

With that in mind, here is my list of the 5 new jobs I've inherited since I became a Dad.

1. Exterminator - I'm not a fan of bugs. Never have been, never will be. Do you know those little boys that like to dig up worms and catch fireflies and start fires? I was not one of those little boys. Do you want to know who cares about my serious aversion to insects? Not a single individual in my household. Whenever there is the slightest hint of the presence of any insect (i.e. a ladybug, a mosquito, a lazer-powered water bug, etc.), it is expected that I will hunt down said beast and slay it whilst armed with one broom handle and two house slippers. One time, after a particularly rainy evening, I awoke to find a water bug in the hallway. I already knew what was expected of me and calmly told my wife to keep the kids in the room. She locked the door and I went to war. 12 minutes later, I emerged victorious. I may have knocked over a few photo frames onto my head (my memory, for some reason, is a bit hazy) but the fact remains that I accomplished my task. Was it a task I was prepared for? No. But someone had to do it.

2. Ghost Hunter - Sometimes, late at night, my children will hear a strange sound coming from the living room. At this point, it is expected that I will get up to investigate. Before returning to the comfort of my bed, I must debrief them as to the exact location of the strange sound, the precise cause of the strange sound and the list of measures that I have taken to prevent the strange sound from happening again. Thankfully, I have not discovered the presence of any ghosts in my house. What I have discovered, coincidentally, is that the M.O.M. does not find it funny when I purposely take longer than I should and try to sneak back into the room and whisper "Boo!". As it turns out, hiding and scaring your wife (a native [read: violent] New Yorker) is a terrible idea.

3. Security Specialist & Personal Bodyguard - somewhat related to #2 except that this job is assigned to me whenever we leave the house. I have to be aware of our surroundings at all times, know the exact location of all safety exits and be mindful of any roaming lions or alligators or zombies. In addition to this, I should be able to "...tell you the license plate numbers of all six cars outside. I can tell you that our waitress is left-handed and the guy sitting up at the counter weighs two hundred fifteen pounds and knows how to handle himself. I know the best place to look for a gun is the cab of the gray truck outside and, at this altitude, I can run flat out for a half mile before my hands start shaking..." Or maybe that's Jason Bourne. Either way, same difference.

4. Butler - this one is pretty obvious. My children make late night demands and I do their bidding. One time, I tried to ignore Princess Teacup's requests. This was the same night that I learned that she had taught herself how to climb out of her crib. This was also the night that I learned that she could move swiftly and silently in the cover of darkness and sneak up next to me. She might be Talia al Ghul but I could be wrong.

5. Handy Man & General Contractor - I'm a writer. Almost by definition, this means "power tools" are a mystery to me similar to "muscle cars" and "rugby" and "tents". Since becoming a father, however, I have taught myself how to fix a toilet, re-wire electrical outlets, and build every single piece of IKEA furniture ever made. Even more impressive is the fact that I have managed to accomplish all of these tasks without requiring a trip to the emergency room.

Well, there you have it. The Top 5 New Jobs I've taken on since I became a Dad.

I'm sure this list will continue to grow. And I'll be sure to come back and update you as soon as it happens.

With Her Eyes

2013-07-24T09:00:00.000-04:00

The M.O.M. and I were watching a movie the other night.

In one particular scene, the couple attends a cocktail party and one of them (in a moment of unabashed jealousy) shoots the other a very specific "look".

Me (sitting up): "Whoa. That was uncanny. I recognize that look."

M.O.M. (reclined with her head on my lap): "Yep. You should."

Me: "No. Seriously. That was unbelievable. That's the same look you give me all the time. I know that look."

M.O.M. (nodding and looking up at me): "Yes. It's me, punching you in the face. With my eyes."

Movies With Awesome Dads (10)

2013-07-23T09:30:00.000-04:00

The Difference

2013-07-22T09:30:00.000-04:00

When I explain to people that I write on this site, I often go to great lengths to try and explain why this site is "different".

The obvious answer is that this is a personal site, one that is dedicated to my experiences as a husband and a father to the three most important people in my life.

Nevertheless, as this site continues to grow, I have begun to find it necessary to specify how we are different from other "daddy blogs". This is especially important when describing the site to new readers who have no idea who we are and what we are about.

Why are we different? There are a variety of reasons and it seems that I find a new one every day.

My approach to parenting is not novel or ground-breaking or new. It isn't solely a "top-down" view of parenting, wherein my wife and I lay down the rules and demand respect; to us, parenting is a collaborative experience, one in which their opinion and preferences and desires are just as important as ours.

To me, parenting is a mutual learning experience. My children and I are getting to know one another as we all grow up and mature and evolve as human beings. While I know that I want to show my kids all of the different things I enjoy, I also want to make sure that I take the time to enjoy all the different things that they love.

However, while I do know that I want this experience to be a collaborative effort, I also understand that I am responsible for laying down a framework of rules and expectations so that they learn to be mature and respectful adults. Once again, even in this regard, my approach is not novel or ground-breaking of new: I show my children the respect they have earned and deserve so that they, in turn, can show me the same level of respect.

On this site, I embrace the many different versions of "daddy" that I have become. Some versions are better than others. And that is okay. Because, while this site is a memory book for my children to enjoy when they are older, it is also a reminder to all parents (current and potential) that you have to find your own answer to the question: just how in the hell am I going to raise these kids?

Why are we different? Because we recognize that we make plenty of mistakes; because we are aware that our children are little human beings with their own view of their world; and because we are willing to admit that what we do is not novel or ground-breaking or new.

The Creative Block

2013-07-19T09:00:00.000-04:00

Some of you may have noticed that we have an amazing new banner image (see above right) on the site.

And (if you are long-time fans) you will recognize that it was drawn by our resident creative genius, Jonathan Mejia.

Since he is my cousin, I am sure you will make the logical assumption that my opinion of his talent is slightly biased; however, you would be wrong. My opinion of Jonathan is based on fact. His talent is other-worldly.

People often tell me that my writing is "...amazing..." and "...impressive..." and "...so funny I laughed until my stomach hurt! Why don't you have a book deal?!" (When you tell yourself these things, while doing a Stuart Smalley-style daily affirmation, it still counts...right?) However, Jon's artistic talent is truly mind-blowing.

I just put words together and, sometimes, they're funny or poignant or delicious. By comparison, this man actually creates things, completely out of thin air! He takes a blank sheet of paper, thinks of something and then--BOOM--it's on the page. I don't create words; I mean, I could, but then it wouldn't make any kind of sensification. See what I mean?

Anyway, Jon has a new website: The Creative Block.

Click the link and visit his personal site so that you too can view his work, recognize his inherent skill and hire him for all of your drawing, cartooning and graphic design needs.

I am so incredibly proud of him; click on The Creative Block and you'll see why.

It will be the most bodastical thingnizzle you do today.