Remember, dads: If you’re going to introduce your kids to the movies, make sure you watch them in the proper order:

1. Episode IV: A New Hope
2. Episode V: Empire Strikes Back
3. Episode II: Attack of the Clones
4. Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
5. Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

Only watch “Episode I: the Phantom Menace” if they want more.

For background on this viewing order, see this excellent article.

Note to self, when you do shots of Jack Daniels with one of the Godfathers of the Web…

The next morning’s coffee can’t come soon enough.

Thank You, Molly, for coming to Detroit to share your experience and expertise. I know everyone had a great time!

What if you were playing in the club championship tournament finals and the match was halved at the end of 17 holes. You had the honor and hit your ball a modest two hundred fifty yards to the middle of the fairway, leaving a simple six iron to the pin.

Your opponent then hits his ball, lofting it deep into the woods to the right of the fairway. Being the golfing gentleman that you are, you help your opponent look for his ball. Just before the permitted five minute search period ends, your opponent says: “Go ahead and hit your second shot and if I don’t find it in time, I’ll concede the match.”

You hit your ball, landing it on the green, stopping about ten feet from the pin. About the time your ball comes to rest, you hear your opponent exclaim from deep in the woods: “I found it!”. The second sound you hear is a click, the sound of a club striking a ball and the ball comes sailing out of the woods and lands on the green, stopping no more than six inches from the hole.

Now here is the ethical dilemma:

Do you pull the cheating bastard’s ball out of your pocket and confront him with it or do you keep your mouth shut?

Seemingly healthy, he simply collapsed while walking near his home last night. He was 43 years old.

Regardless of your political affiliation, viewpoints, or opinion, four young children lost their daddy, one loving wife lost her husband, and countless others lost a friend.

When I hear news like this, it shakes me to the core. I’m 40, and in seemingly good health. You never know, and clearly we are not in charge.

So the message is: Never assume you’ll have more time, and get busy living.

I’m not much for writing obituaries, but I thought it best to write something to acknowledge his passing. I offer my condolences to his family. He’ll be missed.

(Upon hearing that the Belle Jolie Lipstick company doesn’t like the “Mark Your Man” idea)

Don: “I don’t think there’s much else to do here but call it a day. Gentlemen, thank you for your time.”

Businessman: “Is that all?”

Don: “You’re a nonbeliever. Why should we waste time on Kabuki?”

Businessman: “I don’t even know what that means.”

Don: “It means you’ve already tried your plan and you’re number four. You’ve enlisted my expertise and you’ve rejected it to go on the way you’ve been going. I’m not interested in that. You can understand.”

Businessman: “I don’t think your three months or however many thousands of dollars entitles you to refocus the core of our business.”

Don: “Listen I’m not here to tell you about Jesus. You already know about Jesus. Either He lives in your heart or He doesn’t. Every woman wants choices, but in the end none wants to be one of a hundred in a box. She’s unique. She makes the choices and she’s chosen him. She wants to tell the world, ‘He’s mine. He belongs to me, not you.’ She marks her man with her lips. He is her possession. You’ve given every girl that wears your lipstick the gift of total ownership.”

Businessman: “Sit down.”

Don: “No. Not until I know I’m not wasting my time.”

– ‘The Hobo Code’, Season 1 Episode 8

Hat tip: Andy Rutledge