sk0t.com

Update

2009-10-22T19:51:00-07:00

I thought it was about time I put out an update. It has been a while since I have had the time to post anything.

Family is good. Great actually, Jeni has been a little sick, but she is recovering, and Kailyn is good, getting very smart (too smart) in the second grade.

Jiu-Jitsu is just as good as it has ever been. I am teaching a Blue Belt preparation class on Wednesday nights, and it is fun to teach, and refine my own techniques.

School is good, long days, short nights, same as always, still fun.

Other than that, there is nothing else to report. I am just working (at Penn State), learning (school and the 'J'), and having a good time with my family.

What else is there?

Realizations...

2009-09-28T18:04:00-07:00

It has taken me over 2 years to realize this, but I finally have come to the conclusion that I still have a lot to work through before I will feel as though it is all past me... I just fear that everyday that I go through... I will always wish for tomorrow.

Destiny

2009-09-22T20:03:00-07:00

By all accounts, we are living in a trying time. Our economy has all but collapsed. Our faith in a world that is free and strong has faded to black. And our ability to recover from this situation is in serious question.... then we dig deeper.

Jen's grandfather died last night around 9PM. He was a tall, skinny man. He was in his 70s, and wore his age well. He spent most of his time tending to his church and preaching at the local prison, and making sure that people heard the Word of God. He had quite a few children, I think 8 total. He ran his own business for over 40 years and provided quite well for his family. By all accounts, we are living in a trying time. With our economy, faith, and future in question... the world lost a good man last night. A man who earned his right as the patriarch of Jen's family. He left behind a legacy for all to see: husband, father, grandfather, business owner, and pastor; each of which carries its own.

Let us not live by our deeds though, but by the memories that we leave in the hearts of those we have touched.

I didn't know you well Roger, but I do know your children, and their children, and if they are any indication of the man that you were... then you sir have made your mark.

RIP: Roger Hedderick

Reflect.

2009-09-15T20:03:00-07:00

Nevermind.

Ubuntu 9.04: Jaunty Jackalope

2009-09-13T15:54:00-07:00

Finally, I have gotten around to installing Ubuntu back on my desktop.

After taking Windows 7 off of this, and putting on Ubuntu, I remember why it was so hard to migrate back to Windows after prison.

The last version of Ubuntu I used was 7.04: Feisty Fawn.

I'M BACK!

Hayastan Grappling Challenge

2009-08-30T07:50:00-07:00

The tournament was a huge success, with everyone showing that they are indeed learning solid fundamental Jiu-Jitsu.

I took 3rd place in my division... and submitted someone with a flying armbar... (it was amazing).

Here is a link to over 600 pictures from the day (taken with a Nikon D90):
HAYASTAN GRAPPLING CHALLENGE

Roy Dean: BJJ Blue Belt Requirements

2009-08-21T10:19:00-07:00

I have recently had the time to thoroughly review Roy Dean's Blue Belt Requirements Set.

I have been using these videos to refine my basics for a little over 3 months. Each technique on this video is great for any level of BJJ practitioner. The level of detail is excellent, and the different angles of each technique is also very well done.

There is a solid layout of what you need to know, and he goes step-by-step through the entire white to blue belt process.

If you are looking to test for blue belt anytime soon, and you do not know where to start, this video set is for you... also, if you are a higher rank and want to brush up on your basics, this is very good.

The blue belt should be focused on escapes and positions rather than domination and submissions. In this set, Roy focuses on a lot of escapes and positions: MOUNT, SIDE MOUNT, basic SWEEPS; submissions from: GUARD, MOUNT; he shows LEG LOCKS, GUARD PASSING; and that is all on the first disc!

Roy Dean has a very good ability to translate technical knowledge into demonstrate-able skill.

I recommend this set to anyone that wants to improve their game: beginner, intermediate, advanced... it works...

Rain

2009-08-10T20:26:00-07:00

My friends over at TorrentFreak gave me a little tribute for getting off of probation.
It was a nice little goodbye to a past life.

It is still hard to think that this whole thing is over. My computer is back in my own personal control, and although that doesn't seem like much, it is...

-The next semester of school is coming around the corner...
-I am heading off to Connecticut for a couple days this Friday (Aug 14th-16th)
-I should be officially certified in Oracle here in a couple weeks...

That is the updates for now. Stay tuned.

Check out the tribute: Click here.

UPDATE

2009-07-28T09:11:00-07:00

It has been a little over 2 weeks since I was taken off the Federal Government's monitor list... (which means: I am no longer on probation).

Things have been pretty good since then. I have been able to use the OS that I wanted, I have been able to switch from Windows to Ubuntu... and feel a tiny bit free-er. I haven't had the desire to return to my illegal ways... however have the uninhibited freedom to return, if I wanted, is a nice feeling...

I have been working on a few websites for some clients: http://sinofanation.com is one, and there are a few others that I do not want to post as of yet (still in progress).

Some of you might have noticed for a minute that the layout of sk0t.com changed, but was quickly reverted back to the current. It is hard to design a layout that I like as much as this one... but stay tuned because it could happen.

Thanks to Mat

2009-07-11T15:22:00-07:00

I have my dual monitor setup completed (once again). This time, no power supply issues from my old computer.

Questionable Person, Phenomenal Artist

2009-07-08T09:42:00-07:00

Watch this video... and remember why he is the King of Pop.

I remember.

2009-06-23T20:23:00-07:00

If I can get over a few things, maybe I fix a small portion of the imperfection that my life has become. I've realized that my time, however spent, needs to be filled with things that can take me away from my own thoughts. I know that no one gets what I get, and realistically, how could you? I walk a broken man, and, although I have everything I want, I am still left incomplete. I lost something a long time ago that I haven't been able to find.

I think about the perfect life, and how I used to think that my future would lead me there. It's unfortunate that I can't ever get there. Contaminated by my own actions, and burned by my own fire, it is just too late. If I could just take back a few things, I could fix some of the broken parts, and get to a life that is as close to perfect that I think I will ever be.

I know I can't get back what I did. I know that I've lost a part of my life, my dignity, and myself, that I can never get back. I have done a lot of things I am not proud of, a lot of things that I can never forget. Is that payback enough? Is losing almost everything enough to quench the thirst of vengeance? I hope so. I feel completely lost... I have 2 people in my life that mean the world to me, and I can't be who they want me to be because I can't forget. Everyday, I remember... I remember the long days and sleepless nights, I remember wishing every second of everyday that I was someone else. Someone who isn't anything like me.

To all of you who tell me to get over it: I wish I could. Do you think people want to relive nightmares over and over? I used to think that it would be easy to forget... that I would come home, and start from where I left off... but that didn't happen. I despise myself for not being able to let this go... I hate myself everyday for what happened then, and what happens now... and now my thoughts are tainted by my experiences in hell. It is more than just prison too. From the FBI rolling up on me at 6AM, to the meetings with the lawyer, to the trial days, to sentencing, to surrender day.... and everything in between then and now... a nightmare I can't seem to wake up from.

When I think I have it beat... it creeps back up. Maybe someday... I can add just a little taste of perfection to my ever so imperfect world... I don't expect to be who I was... but I hope someday to stop it from consuming me.

I don't ever want to forget, I just hate it when I remember.

F*CKING RIDICULOUS!!!

2009-06-17T08:25:00-07:00

It is this kind of blatant double-standard that makes me the man I am today.

Donte Stallworth gets 30-days in prison - SI.com

WOW... you kill a man and the worst part of your sentence is 30 days. I put StarWars on the internet and the worst part of mine is 5 months in a federal prison.

Do that math.

Sorry for the long delay...

2009-05-27T18:57:00-07:00

But I have been really busy. I have been working at Penn State Behrend doing Oracle stuff, also, I have been stepping up my BJJ training, and taking summer classes.

So, as usual, I find myself in a puzzling mood. My 'friend' that I worked with at WQLN for the past 6 or so months has seemingly forgotten to invite me to his wedding. Eh, not a big deal. His stag is this Saturday, and I have agreed to use my speakers for the event.

--I know, you guys are wondering why I am not complaining about this, and you are thinking that something is wrong with me for not holding a grudge and being salty about all this... well, you are right, I should be, however, I am not. I have decided that it is all not worth it. And I offered to let him use the speakers while we were working together, and I follow through with my obligations.

Not a big deal.

I find it funny lately that I am going through a mental stagnation. I am getting back to the best shape I have ever been in, I am working hard, almost done with school, and yet I still feel like everything about life hasn't changed at all. I still feel the same about almost everything, and it is fine with me.

CHECK OUT: http://undergroundbjj.com

Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Update

2009-04-29T21:08:00-07:00

My training has been going great. I have been trying to train atleast twice a week, and sometimes 3 (if I have the time, because of school and such).

I competed in the NYS Grappling Championship a few weeks ago, and I won 2 of my No-Gi matches... here is the chronology of the day

1 Gi Match: LOST by points at the end of 2 rounds.
1st No-Gi Match: LOST (via something weird as shit)
2nd No-Gi Match: WIN via Guillotine (VIDEO LINK)
3rd No-Gi Match: WIN via Straight Ankle Lock
4th No-Gi Match: LOST (to same dude as 1st No-Gi match via Americana)

End of the night: 2 for 5
Not that great, but I am OK with that. That is why I am training hard, so I can do better at the next tournament.

More videos to come later. Check out my youtube channel @ www.youtube.com/sk0tcom

Lately...

2009-04-01T22:30:00-07:00

It has been a hard couple weeks lately... I have been trying to drown myself in school and work in order to stop remembering.. but it doesn't work. I watch a TV show, and I am taken back to hell... flashing back to my 'time'... I hear songs on the radio, songs that kept me sane in a time of pure insanity... and I remember... I hear a phrase... and instantly, I am back, drowning in my fear of what tomorrow could have brought me... Its been almost 2 full years since I have been out... and still I remember.. I remember the long days, and even longer nights. I remember being alone in a place full of emptiness where they were exponentially higher on the level than me... and I remember hoping for contact that never came... I often think about the time I spent away... 148 days of unbridled horror... only to be heightened by the fact that on the outside, I was forgotten.

How to gather data from database in C# (backend)

2009-03-13T21:44:00-07:00

Using a stored procedure with MS SQL Server.

[CODE]

string strConnection = String.Empty;
DataSet uniqueDS = new DataSet();
SqlDataAdapter uniqueDA;

strConnection = "'connection string'";
uniqueDA = newSqlAdapter(sp, strConnection);
uniqueDA.SelectCommand.CommandType = 
     CommandType.StoredProcedure;

uniqueDS = New DataSet;
uniqueDA.Fill(uniqueDS, "TABLE");

For direct access to the actual tables and rows and cells inside the dataset:

[CODE]

string = 
     uniqueDS.Tables("TABLE").Rows(RowIndex).Items(ColumnIndex).ToString;

Of course there are more ways... but this way is direct access to DataSet values.

UPDATE

2009-02-22T19:23:00-08:00

Sorry for the delay between posts... Let me start with the update:

I have been working at WQLN. I am taking 21 credits at school. And I am still actively training in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu... that limits my time tremendously...

Other than that... things are going good.

More to come later.

Dream

2009-01-10T21:30:00-08:00

I had a dream the other night... As I lay asleep (in my dream) I am haunted by the presence of a figure standing over me. The figure isn't threatening, but leaves me with the feeling of extreme sadness and loneliness. The heart-breaking emotion that we all fear in our darkest of hearts. I lay there, unable to shake the desire to find another soul to comfort me. Each thought that passes enhances the emotion, until I am into a solitary state of depression. The depression that forces you to contemplate the end... As I lie there, in sheer emotional strain, the figure presents both hands... in one hand is a gun...whether it is loaded or not... I can't tell. In the other hand, I am present what looks like a picture frame... and frame in which the image is unrecognizable. The figure looks at me in a way that seems to illicit a reaction. Images flush through my head of the past and I am given the option to choose an item from the figures hands. Without hesitating, I rise up from the bed, and choose the gun... a symbol of utter control... inside my loneliness and my sorrow I grasp onto the handle...

I then wake up.

WOW!

2008: In Review

2008-12-31T22:15:00-08:00

Ahh... has it been a long year for all of you? Because it has been for me. It seems that this year has been good and bad for all.

BAD: We have a democrat at president. Although my die-hard conservative values prevent me from voting for a man who is Pro-Choice, I can say that I hope for some type of change; with the current state of affairs, and with the seemingly never-ending war on terror. SUPPORT OUR TROOPS, LET THEM WIN.

GOOD: School has been going well and I am about 2 semesters away from graduating. WOOT!

Other than that, this year has left me with lots to be desired. Nothing of any personal value happened to me (aside from the presidency and current economic state). I look to 2009 to bring some change. I will be off of probation in July. I will be done with school... and I will be ready to get on with my life. So lets hope 2009 is all I hope it to be.

I can't seem to forget...

2008-12-18T07:41:00-08:00

With classes ending, and finals week coming to an ever-so-needed end, I am starting to get a little more appeased with life. After Friday, the official end of my finals, I will have a little time before I return to the grind of studying and work.
I wanted to take that time to rekindle friendships lost... to return to the days before I survived a walk through the pits of hell, and returned with a new cynical outlook on life... but I can't. Regrets, grudges, memories, and nightmares still haunt my thoughts and dreams all the time... I guess I find it hard to forget the days when I sat around, completely alone, surrounded by individuals whose moral compasses were skewed by greed and self-gratification, and wondered what the rest of the world was thinking, since they obviously weren't thinking about me. I used to think that it was everyone but me, but its me when I see the face of guilt. Guilty for the crimes I've committed, and guilty for losing a life that I never knew was so good. Lost in a place of solitude, surrounded only by the ramblings on a blog page... me and my diatribes on life, love, and friendship. Yesterday, today, tomorrow? I don't foresee change... change implies some type of resolution... some situation where my problems can be resolved.

Happy Anniversary

2008-11-12T05:16:00-08:00

Today marks the 8th year that sk0t.com has been around...

A New Era

2008-11-05T22:28:00-08:00

Well, Obama is our new president elect... seeing as that I am a Republican, I do not find this time in our nations history to be all that exciting... I feel that we let ourselves down as Americans in voting Obama in to office.

Well, now that it's done... let us hope he does something worth doing...

Dog Picture

2008-11-04T12:27:00-08:00

Jeni snapped a picture of Rosebud (our dog) playing in the leaves, and it came out great. -----> LINK

Best Song Ever

2008-10-31T13:25:00-07:00

Best of MTV Videos

sk0t.com

Update

Realizations...

Destiny

Reflect.

Ubuntu 9.04: Jaunty Jackalope

Hayastan Grappling Challenge

Roy Dean: BJJ Blue Belt Requirements

Rain

**UPDATE**

Thanks to Mat

Questionable Person, Phenomenal Artist

I remember.

F*CKING RIDICULOUS!!!

Sorry for the long delay...

Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Update

Lately...

How to gather data from database in C# (backend)

**UPDATE**

Dream

2008: In Review

I can't seem to forget...

Happy Anniversary

A New Era

Dog Picture

Best Song Ever

UPDATE

UPDATE