When I was 20, I thought I’d be a consultant working at some sexy firm. When I was 25, I thought I’d be a big sh*t HR professional. At 30, I’m reevaluating why I wanted to be those things and thinking about what it is I want to do with the rest of my life.

After a few years as an HR Generalist, I can tell you this isn’t the path I want to travel. Well, not all of it at least. I’ve discovered some of my greatest weaknesses, while also recognizing what makes me come alive. There’s a disparity right now. One that wears on my patience and leaves me longing for something I tried to pursue in 2007 along with something I do part-time today.

2007 was the year I first tried career consulting. I got a logo, business cards, and a website. I wrote a couple career articles and helped a few people find jobs. But I didn’t pursue it aggressively. The site eventually fell off and the business cards went stale. I was caught up in running track, my day job, and foolishness. Those weren’t bad things. They were just part of my 20s.

I also realized how much I enjoy recruiting…sans the 40-50 calls a day. That’s the life you live when working for a staffing agency. My income was determined by how many consultants I placed and how low (or high) I negotiated their pay. The job came with dissonance and adrenaline rushes. I loved part of it, but hated most of it.

Looking at the last year, some of my greatest joys have come from helping people through their career dilemmas. I’ve also found joy in managing a growing website and learning the ins and outs of social media. Not surprising for someone that thought about Psychology, Sociology, Business, and Computer Science as majors. To this day, those are the subjects — sans computer science — I gravitate toward. People are interesting. How can I integrate more of that into my work? I’ve figured out the answer.

I’ve also figured out the answer to something that’s plagued me over the last couple years.

Though it’s most likely April 1st when you’re reading this, I can tell you this isn’t a joke. I’ve decided it’s time to move away from Slim Jackson, and onward and upward with Rich Jones. That’s what my paychecks say. That’s who I am. And the rest of my life won’t be determined by corporate rules or what some branding expert tells me. Personal branding nor a paycheck will put me in shackles.

I’ve gained peace of mind. I’ve gained control. I’ve gained freedom.

To be truthful, playing part of life as Slim Jackson and part as Rich Jones has been exhausting. I currently have three websites, two Twitter accounts, and two business cards. Don’t forget about the day job. It’s been frustrating having to filter my messages to different accounts and handle the admin for everything. Also, do you know how annoying it is to have to explain the two name thing every time I talk business?

There are still some pieces I’ll have to sort out, but I have a basic plan in place. I’m cutting it down to two websites, one twitter account, one business card. I’m a career consultant, personal development aficionado, webpreneur, tech lover, sports fan, and laughter fiend. People are just gonna have to accept all that. Can’t have it any other way. Can’t be stressed about segmentation anymore.

I’m excited. I’m relieved. I’m excited and relieved.

I graduated.

It’s time to write the next chapter of my life.

Going forward, you should follow me over at I Am Rich Jones and on twitter at @IAmRichJones. I will start redirecting visitors  here to my main site in the coming week.

Original content from The Real Slim Jackson

I have these sunrises and sunsets where my mind races and my heart pounds because I know there are so many roads I can travel, but I just end up standing at the intersection wrapped in silence. The traffic light is green in all directions, yet somehow everyone seems to know where they are going. The only one at risk of an accident is me. Even the pedestrians push past with a clear path. At least it feels that way. They’re going with the flow, following the directions their talents have given them.

But I’m just standing there looking at Google maps, when I could go anywhere and still reach my destination. Multiple simple choices make life difficult.

The curse of talent. The challenge of risk.

A split with limited flexibility because I have to earn a living. And oddly enough, it’s that inflexibility that I know best. It’s what’s easiest, but it’s also why I can’t move the way I’d like to move. I can’t be limber.

I go to take a step then I pull my foot back. I recoil into the comfort of my inflexibility. I put in the hours then get my check, which isn’t enough to buy me insurance in case something should happen when I step into traffic.

So I just stand there. I sleep there. I wake there. The intersection and the inflexibility are becoming the only things I know.

I just wish I had the insurance. That would make things easier.

Slim

Original content from The Real Slim Jackson

“I’m so tired of the negativity.”

I thought that yesterday while perusing my Twitter timeline. As you may have seen on the social media site or read in my post on SBM about Black Twitter, someone made a comment about Beyonce’s relationship with her father over the weekend, which led to public outrage. And as you also know, people tend to get out of pocket online — both the “thought leaders” and those that follow them. So in this case, the person apologized for their comments, but I watched as wave after wave attacked her and alerted others to do the same. A branding and PR nightmare.

There were a few general lessons (and reminders) that emerged from this fiasco. I wanted to share some of them with you today:

If You Tweet It, You Can’t Delete It

Have you ever made a typo (internet misdemeanor) and not realized it until someone retweeted your message or replied to you? You can delete and update your original message, but you can’t delete what others have already shared, so you end up watching your typo mock you as it dances from tweet to tweet. Or maybe that just happens to me? Whatever. The point is:

Be careful what you put into the atmosphere; because once it’s out there, there’s no bringing it back. Awkward Boomerang.

This person’s message found its way to Solange, and most likely to one of her new employers. Whether there will be offline repercussions is still to be determined, but you really have to be thoughtful not just about what you say, but how you say it. One bad tweet could have you seeking asylum in Narnia. The unintentionally good thing about Twitter is that it breeds short attention spans, which means people move on to the next topic within a few days. But just because people aren’t talking about it doesn’t mean they’ve forgotten. You don’t want people to see your name through a clouded window.

Your Followers Are Not Your Friends

Behold how good and how pleasant it is to have a large audience…until you do something that pisses them off. 

The thing about blogs and social media platforms is that people follow you because they’ve assigned you a purpose. You’ve entered into an unspoken contract which can be terminated at any time. And once the follower or subscriber no longer receives the value he or she expects (a laugh, useful info, social validation through a return follow or replies, pictures of you scantily clad), he or she reserves the right to abandon you — or even worse, turn against you.

Real friends don’t watch you drown after you make a mistake or rub them the wrong way unless they catch you sleeping with their significant other on a boat. They step in and offer their help and support even if they’re a little miffed. They also don’t take what you’ve shared with them and throw it in your face, which is what happened over the weekend (people brought her child into it) and leads me to the next point:

Stop Handing People Rocks to Throw at Your House

The blogging experts will tell you that if you want to build your tribe, you need to be relatable. You need to share your life with your readers so that they know you get it. So that they understand you in return and can get behind your story. If they sense that you’re holding back, they will withhold their trust. So yeah, drop your pants and be vulnerable.

This is a half-truth. I’ve struggled with this and have dealt with the effects of not putting myself out there. But in some of the situations that I have, I found out I had way more supporters than expected. In other situations, however, I found out what it meant to be called names and told how to live by people that don’t even get the tip of my iceberg.Pause. I also learned that what you share with anonymous people is almost guaranteed to bite you in the ass when solid waste hits the fan.

Your family and friends are not off-limits in online war. 

Look, unless MTV is paying you, you shouldn’t have to put all the intimate details of your life out there just to draw in and maintain your audience. Real people go through shit. But real people also expect privacy. Your audience should understand that…if they’re real people. Keep that in mind as you unbuckle your belt.

You Control How Much Negativity Flows into Your Online Life

I find myself mentioning negativity fatigue a lot. It’s usually when I’m sitting at my computer reading tweets. Then I’ll comment about how my timeline is always on some foolishness. But then I realized it’s always the same people and, more importantly, I allow them to be there. And when I look at why I allow these people to infiltrate my timeline with their negativity, it’s usually because of their follower count, which deemed them influential, which meant I should follow them and “network.”

Social networking should be a positive experience. If you’re frustrated with your timeline, then you’re following the wrong people. Do you (willingly) surround yourself with negative people offline? No? Then why are you doing it here?

I suggest you try a social media herbal cleanse if you’re always logging into drama and Debbie flowing down your timeline. Just hit that unfollow or unfriend button and listen to the calming sound of the toilet flushing. Thank me later. Drake.

There are many other lessons that get all businessy and entrepreneurial, but I’ll save those for another day. Take care and as always, stay positive.

Original content from The Real Slim Jackson

Meant to send this out yesterday, but you know how life goes. Anyway, I’ll be on Black & Bougie Radio tonight discussing the ever-growing phenomenon that is the relationship expert movement. The show will be led by Michele Grant, founder of Black & Bougie, and will also feature Carolyn Edgar and Darryl Frierson (Ashy2Classy). As someone that’s dabbled in relationship advice but now tries to avoid it all together, I have a few things to say on the topic.

Join us at 8pm CT/9pm ET. You can also join us here on the live site in a chat room or dial in to 760-683-2631. Should be a fun conversation for all. See you there!

Slim

Original content from The Real Slim Jackson

If you’re not an Android user, you can go back to what you were doing with your life. If you are and you like games, this post is for you.

Duane Reade recently put me onto a game released by Google called Ingress. The best way to describe it is a virtual reality battle between The Enlightened and The Resistance geared around this stuff called Exotic Matter (XM). The Enlightened wants to find and collect the matter, which is supposed to be the way of the future. The Resistance wants to protect humanity as it is. I chose the Enlightened route, so the missions I saw were geared around finding it.

So how do you find this Exotic Matter? Well, that’s where the game gets fun…at least when it’s functioning properly. Ingress taps into your phone’s GPS feature and brings up a map of your current location. From there, you receive an incoming message that tells you what you need to do – most of which involves locating portals, finding this Exotic Matter, creating links between locations, and hacking stuff. You do all this by walking throughout your city, following instructions, and racking up points, energy, weapons, and other items to help further your cause. You can think of yourself as an agent responsible for completing a series of tasks in collusion with other agents on your side. You can also visit www.nianticproject.com for cryptic clues and secret codes to help you with the game.

You may find yourself wandering down streets or into places you’d never go. And if you’re not careful, you may end up in the middle of the street trying to tap a portal. So be careful out there!

For today, I wanted to share some of the key features from Ingress and my mission for Duane Reade. I’ve mentioned a few above, but this will give you more insight into the game, where it’s good and where it needs work.

Incoming Messages

The incoming messages make you feel like someone’s really reaching out to you about important an mission. You get to hear a nice government lady voice give you instructions while you also read them on your screen. If there aren’t any portals or items in your area, it’ll set up a training mission so you can get acquainted with how to play. I found the instructions clear, but when I went into the actual game mode, it got a little confusing and I ended up doing a lot of standing around in the cold trying to follow the instructions.

The Map

The GPS map was accurate and you could see all sorts of Exotic Matter floating around (which gave you energy when you captured it.) The problem was my screen kept going black and I couldn’t see anything at all. I tried resetting my phone, logging out of the game then back in, but I’d end up with a blank map that I could click on, but not see what I was doing. The screenshot below is a good example of what I mean. This was pretty frustrating.

Secret Signals for Those in the Know

So part of the mission involved me going to into Duane Reade stores, where there was supposed to be a window cling on the entrance, and then a code to input located somewhere in the freezer section related to the Ingress game. I went to two separate Duane Reade locations and wasn’t able to find any signs of the game: one on 8th Avenue in the Chelsea area, and another up in Harlem on 145th street. I even went as far as asking store reps and they had no clue what I was talking about.

I guess they weren’t in the know. I felt simultaneously special and flabbergasted.

Had I been able to find the clues and secret signals, I imagine this would have felt somewhat rewarding and I’d have been able to tell you more about the game. Unfortunately, this didn’t work out. These freezers were cold-hearted, man.

Chat Feature

The game has a cool chat feature where you can see people all over the world playing the game. You can see them locating items, creating portals, basically all the stuff you’re able to do. You can also chat with them. I was giving the game a go alone, which probably hampered my experience a bit, as I noticed a lot of people going back and forth with each other and asking to meet up at certain locations. Should you give the game a try, I suggest trying to get a friend or two to test it out with you. This might add to the experience, and if there’s something you don’t know, they may be able to tell you. I tried to send out an SOS, but didn’t get any helpful replies from my Enlightened counterparts around the world.

Conclusion

Overall, I think Ingress is geared toward people that like role-playing games and have the free-time to walk through the missions and wage war against their friends in the real world. As someone with a tight schedule, the chances of me regularly playing this game during the week are slim, unless there are some quantifiable rewards that can be taken offline (points that can be used in stores, etc). Otherwise, I can’t see myself venturing out into the cold on a Saturday to chase sparkly spots on my phone or hack a random portal. But if you’re into this type stuff, I suggest you download it yourself from Google Play and give it a go. And should you go that route and happen upon a Duane Reade, let me know if you find anything on the #DRIngress front. Well actually, don’t let me know because I’ll be salty. You don’t want to see me salty. Anyway, here are a few activation codes to get you started. Pick one and get it popping

• ZCJE7JRE
• PDWXVT42
• R6HNNWP3
• JZVFH9NA
• 44P2X93B

Slim

I am a member of the Collective Bias™ Social Fabric® Community. This shop has been compensated as part of a social shopper insights study for Collective Bias™. #CBias #SocialFabric

Original content from The Real Slim Jackson

For those that don’t know, SXSW is an annual event in Austin, TX where thousands upon thousands descend on the city for a series of panels, parties, networking, and overall good times. For someone in the online space, it’s a great opportunity to meet passionate people doing all sorts of awesome things in life. Well, it’s a great opportunity for just about everybody in any space.

My panel is titled Powered By: The Names Behind the Names. I’ll be discussing the ins and outs of social media with the people that have or currently manage the online campaigns for Lil Wayne, Lady Gaga, Lebron James, and Rickey Smiley to name a few. It’s expected to be one of the highest visibility panels for the segment of SXSW that I’ll be participating in.

In terms of personal progress, this is the biggest speaking/moderating opportunity I’ve gotten. Special shout out to the people at Blacks in Technology aka BiT for an amazing chance.

If you’ll be in town, make sure to come check out the panel. If not, we’re working on a live stream so you can get the goods from that cushion on your couch.

*Leprechaun kicks and Jersey Shore fist pumps*

With hard work and some social skills, great things can happen. If you’re lacking in one of these areas, it’s time to get on your job. Tomorrow ain’t promised homie. I’m embracing that more every day.

Slim

Original content from The Real Slim Jackson

Being an editor for a blog can be a thankless and frustrating job. Aside from the usual electronic banter, you end up reading submissions from writers that think just because they interact with you on Twitter or Facebook, or because it’s a “blog” and not a “magazine,” they can skate with poor form. I’m here to tell you this is not the case. Being cool with an editor on social media doesn’t increase the likelihood of him or her running your post. It just means they’ll know your name when they see it, which means they’ll open your email — unless you just annoy the hell out of them in general. If you’re pitching to a blog known for an informal tone, that doesn’t mean you should pitch like you’re talking to one of the homies.

Over the last month, I’ve read a good number of pitches. Some were great. Some were not so great. Some would have been great had they not faltered in their approach. Because I know what it’s like to come up the ranks, I want to share with you five fatal flaws that will get your pitch ignored … or if you’re lucky, rejected.

1. Shoddy Subject Lines

Picking a subject line for an email is no different than picking a title for an article. You will win and lose based on what words you use to capture your audience’s attention. “Article submission” is not an appropriate subject line. Neither is “Dat Post.” If you want an editor to optimistically open your email (and there aren’t any stated standards), you need to choose a subject line that quickly conveys why you’re sending the message. Here are a couple examples:

• Time-Sensitive Guest Submission (Don’t use if your content could be run in 2020 and still be relevant.)
• Guest Submission: *Insert Article Title*

Note: These are two examples that have worked for me. Every editor and business relationship is different. Please use these as a starting point if there are no guest submission instructions. I’m not trying to be responsible for your article on the Unicorn Apocalypse not getting picked up.

2. Not Opening the Email with Pleasantries

While you may think it’s understood, you need to be thankful. It’s no different than writing a cover letter for a job. We (HR folks and editors) get a ton of email everyday from people trying to get down with the team. Your pitch should open thanking the editor for taking the time to review it, and briefly explain why you’re contacting them. It’s not about bowing in their presence or propping them up on a pedestal. It’s about understanding their day-to-day struggle. Here’s a sample:

Hi Slim,

Thanks for taking the time to read my message and I hope all is well. I’m reaching out because I have an awesome article idea that I believe will fetch a great response from your readers.

Appreciation, humility, value. They’re all there.

3. Not Following Instructions

If an editor responds to your article asking for something, give them what they asked for! It’s not time to ask questions and start an email debate about why your article is the turtle’s shell or bee’s knees! If you need to ask questions, they should clarify a point so you can deliver exactly what the editor requested. Besides, who wants to work with someone who can’t follow directions? How does that make the editor’s job easier?

4. Big Blocks of Text

When I read a pitch, I’m not trying to read The Great Gatsby. I have a day job and run my website when I get home. You probably do other stuff too, but I’m not the one trying to get exposure.

I don’t have time to discern what value you’ll bring to the reader. You need to tell me who, what, when where, why, and how it’s gonna be. No excuses. If I have to use a highlighter to mark your key pitch points, I will shine a light on the trashcan so I can toss your pitch in it. If you can’t accept this perspective, you don’t want to be a writer.

Use bullet points to cover the five W’s and the H. You don’t need to have a bullet point for each, but I should be able to skim and get the gist of what you’re talking about. If I like what I see, I’ll go back and read your note in more detail.

5. Typos and Shenanigans

If you send me an article with typos, that means you don’t take me or my website seriously. That’s offensive. When I get offended, I levitate and make the ground shake. Do you wanna fall through a crack in the earth?

Even if your article is time-sensitive, you need to proofread it at least two times. Get someone else to read it for you if you have to. One typo could be the difference between “I saw your article on X site” and “so whatever happened with that article you wrote for X?”

In my best Juicy J voice: Typos will get you dinged. Typos will get you dinged. Yadda yadda yadda, typos will get you dinged.

Pitching can be a daunting task, but don’t make it more stressful than it needs to be. Even if your idea gets rejected, you’ll see an increase in responses from editors if you follow these steps. Good luck in your pitches, and may the pen (or keyboard) be with you.

Original content from The Real Slim Jackson

I Don’t Wanna Be a Writer Only in the Long Run

You know, I’ve been blogging, writing or whatever you wanna call it since 2008. That’s a long ass time. I’ve come a long ass way in that long ass time; to the point that I read some of my older articles and cringe at how much they sucked.

I can confidently say that I’m a good writer today. I’ve worked hard to refine my skills. I’ve agonized over word choice, sentence structure and the other intricacies of English. I still agonize, but I know that wherever I land will reflect my progress.

Even with all that, I don’t wanna be a writer only. If you’ve been with me on TRSJ for a while, it’s not a surprise. If you read my last post on my children, it’s really not a surprise. Writing is a very time-consuming task. And the two hours I spend writing a random post could be spent getting closer to my dreams. Let me try to explain this last part another way.

Return on Investment

When I write a career or personal development article, I never think “Nobody’s gonna read this.” I always think “This is gonna help somebody.” That’s why I can spend two hours writing an IARJ post or posting a business article on another site and think nothing of it. If two people read it and they both get interviews or jobs, then I’ve done my job. No pun.

That’s part of what fueled the Back on Track Journey. I was excited to compete again, but I knew that I’d inspire others in the process. When I spent two hours putting together an update post with workouts and food intake, I never huffed or puffed about it. I knew that in someway somewhere it was helping someone get over the rainbow. No LGBT.

Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to keep up with either of these the way I’d planned. Not with a day job. Not with a budding web business to run — one that could become a full-time job if things go well. (I’ll still be writing career articles though.)

When I spend two hours writing an article on other topics and run into the “Nobody’s gonna read this,” I sometimes wonder if it’s even worth it? Like, I could’ve spent two hours doing something to grow SBM or working on a career article.

I know. I’m supposed to write for me. Write because I enjoy it. The thing is, I do enjoy it. But only when I feel compelled to write and know I’m delivering value. And no, it doesn’t always have to be a serious post. I wrote one about Scandal a couple weeks back and was overcome with joy, strife and struggle at the same time. The show has that effect on you. I’m digressing though…

The Way I Naturally Write Isn’t Suited for the Masses

I say “I” a lot. Partially because I‘m an only child. Partially because I‘m Introspective. Not because I‘m Introverted. But I‘ve learned over the years, there’s a certain type of person that enjoys reading posts with lots of I in them. They’re usually a lot like me. There aren’t a lot of people like me, so I guess it makes sense.

Since I take this introspective approach, readers on other sites can feel excluded. They feel that I don’t care about them. Because if I did, I‘d be saying “you” all the time. I‘m not making this up. When I read “rules of blogging” and all that stuff, they always say address your audience first and often, because if you don’t…they’ll leave. Basically, readers only care about you as much as you can solve their problems or entertain them. It’s a crappy feeling to be writing about yourself in a space where people only see you as a source of entertainment. Why do you think some comedians, actors, and musicians who appear to be at the top of their games struggle with off the stage problems?

I‘ve never worried about this on TRSJ, because I know that if you’re here, you already get me. You know I‘m speaking to you because we’re cool. It’s like when you walk into another room, see a friend or family member and just start talking. They just get it. Or in this case, you do.

So What Does All This Really Mean?

Basically, I won’t be writing here much. Only when I feel compelled to share or when I have one of those sponsored posts you hate.lol. And because you get it, there will still be things I share here that I won’t share on other sites. If you’re new, I’d suggest you subscribe via email. That’s what most folks do. If you’ve been around for a while, thank you for your continued support. You don’t comment a lot, but I always know you’re there. It means the world to my beard.

I won’t be writing on SBM as much either. If you’re reading over there, you’ll still see me posting links to articles I found interesting or content I thought you’d enjoy. As for full articles? Not so much. Only when I feel moved unless it’s my full-time job.

My time in 2013 will be spent progressing in my career, growing SBM behind the scenes, and writing freelance career articles. I’m hoping to have another update for you in the next month or so. There are some good things happening that I can’t talk about yet. But when I can, there shall be a post.

Take Care, Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!

Original content from The Real Slim Jackson

In reading the post I shared on Thursday about Paul Carrick Brunson’s 2012, I was reminded to reflect on my own. There was something different about this year. Something scary.

I realized I had kids.

Yes, plural.

Two were born in 2008. The next in 2011. The third and fourth in 2012. I tried to be responsible, you know? I wanted to take care of them all at the same (damn) time. But the harder I tried, the more I failed. Especially when one passed away around my birthday in 2011. After that, I found myself neglecting one, then another, and another. Nowadays the majority of my time is dedicated to the remaining oldest. He’s at an important developmental point, and if I’m not active in his life now, there’s no telling what he’ll grow up to be. It’s tough. Really tough. Especially since people notice and call me out on it. “What about the other ones?” they ask. When will I be the father to all my children the way I announced I would be?

I’d love for all of them to be a part of my life, but it’s just not possible. I don’t have the resources to take care of all these kids. Even with a few more hours in my day or a few more dollars in my pocket, it’d be a struggle — a balancing act that I couldn’t confidently maintain. These kids are projects in the most literal sense. Let me tell you about each of them:

In 2008, I started a blog with two friends called Three Ways to Take It. In was our first real foray into the blogosphere. Given my penchant for the pen and the inner workings of the web, the site became my passion. I was convinced we’d go on a world tour speaking about what it meant to be young and Black. And it seemed that way at first. Within a year, we were an award-winning blog with a thriving community. It was a good sign, but it’s hard to go straight to the top when when your counterparts want to go different directions.

I was drawn to the web. They were drawn to their careers. One went on to be a lawyer and just landed the non-practicing job of her dreams. The other is now a blooming creative in the advertising industry.

We put the site to rest in March 2011. They were each great parents to their only children, while I struggled through fatherhood. There’s a reason they’re further on their path. (I know I’m making a crucial mistake here, but it’s worth noting.)

In late 2008, the original and now married SBM put out the bat signal for additional writers. My girl at the time told me about it and I gladly thee SBM up. I started writing for the site on a weekly basis — sometimes twice a week. Over time, I realized we had something with the potential to be epic. My involvement stepped up to the point that in February 2011, I officially took over the show. If you’ve been around for a while, you’ve seen the evolution. If you joined the party recently, know that a lot has changed in the last 22 months.

I’ve learned over time this isn’t a two hour a week hobby. It’s a 20 hour job. There’s a lot of technical stuff that goes into running a site. That doesn’t even factor in the writing. I won’t get into the specifics, but I’ll just say that when the site goes down at midnight or in the middle of the day, it’s a lot like a crying baby. You hear it, but if you ignore it, you’ll just feel like a terrible person.

Whether you see me in the comments or not, a day doesn’t go by that I don’t spend hours thinking about how we can be better or doing something that makes us better. I’m not trying to toot my own horn, but as I’m reflecting, I can’t ignore how much heart and soul I’ve put into this SBM thing. So much so that I know there’s no turning back. Though awful to say, I know that it has the most potential of all my children right now.

2013 has to be the year. It has to. I will not let us fade to black. But, this has also required some tough decisions which I’ll come back to.

The Unspoken Child: Freelance Writing 

In October 2011, I started freelance writing about relationships for a known online magazine once a week. I also occasionally guest-posted on other sites. The relationship article freelancing ended in November 2012. The first step to becoming a better father.

In May of 2011, I started a new personal blog. I’d tired of writing for an audience and longed for a place to write my unrestricted thoughts without concern for traffic. TRSJ would be the home base for everything me. Then I decided it’d be a personal development blog sprinkled with career articles. Then I decided I’d start a curated career blog. That’s when the wheels started to fall off. I’d promise to keep myself on a schedule (publicly), then fall off and have to apologize — each time coming back more energized. I never built the momentum I thought I would because I was pulled in too many directions. But even though I knew it, I kept the show going and focused on finding a new way to keep things interesting. In June of 2012, I decided I’d start chronicling my journey to get back on track and become an athlete before my body stopped working.

The Back on Track Journey

I used to be a tracklete in college — the long jump specifically. With 30 approaching, I realized that the window to hit the goals I’d set for myself years before was closing. I embarked on a rigorous workout and diet regimen to get in the best shape of my life. I was posting weekly updates and chronicling my progress. It was awesome to watch my body — physical, mental and emotional — transform over the summer. I was running faster, shedding weight and generally more happy with life. Little did it matter that working out was an additional two hours out of my day. It just felt good to be making progress and knowing that my updates were helping others. And since I had the momentum with one dream, I figured why not pursue another.

I Am *Insert Government Name*

Career Coaching

I’ve always been good at helping people find jobs. Helping people has been one of the things that’s brought me the most happiness. When I don’t feel like I’m doing that, I don’t feel like I’m fulfilling my purpose. In August 2012, I decided I’d become a Pathfinder for Professionals. I created a Career Development blog under my real name and started working with clients on resumes and cover letters, and writing career articles for popular online destinations. Little did I know that my transition to career coaching would be the straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back. Though extremely rewarding, it took up more of my time.

The Back on Track Journey slowly but surely faded. My postings on TRSJ ground to a September halt. Because of the time constraints, my day job — the other unspoken child — became more stressful. Things were great on the career consulting front for a few months. But once again, as SBM started to take up more of my time, I fell off. My writing on another known site has continued, but I’ve been unable to keep up with the inquiries and regular updates on my career site. Imagine money with legs walking up to your door and having to look through the peephole and say “Sorry, I can’t talk to you right now.” Wack.F*cking.Buckets.

It’s important to note I don’t do it for money, but money buys freedom. I value freedom more than anything else.

Father to One

All these projects have been my babies, but I’ve decided that in 2013 I just won’t be able to take care of them all. Though I’ve learned making comparisons to others is the analysis of the devil, it’s been tough watching parents focus on their only children and catapult themselves ahead of me, while I’ve tried to juggle a threesome with no happy ending. 2013 will be the year that I narrow my focus and get it done by focusing on one…point five. The career articles will continue, but I’m gonna see just how far I can go by focusing on growing this site. And if it gets where I’d like it to go, I’ll start paying more attention to one of my other kids.

Fatherhood is tough. I’ve been doing the best that I can, but realized I’m not the best that I can be. It’s time to narrow the focus. Will you be doing the same?

Original content from The Real Slim Jackson

A couple weeks ago I had the chance to attend the Z100 NY Jingle Ball pre show event at the Hammerstein Ballroom in New York City. One of the main sponsors of the event was Duane Reade (#DRJingleBall). If you’ve been around these parts for a while, you know that I occasionally cover Duane Reade sponsored events in New York. This was the first one I’ve covered since September.

When I got the invite, little did I know that the venue would be packed with thousands of bursty teenagers screaming and running around like the rapture texted them all. It was a mad house I tell ya. A madhouse! There were also these odd individuals in colorful spandex suits darting around and taking pictures with people. I wondered how much they were paid, then decided some things are better left unknown.

Fortunately the Duane Reade area wasn’t too hard to find amongst the chaos. Within their section, they had a few of their product partners distributing samples and hair doos. Yes, I said hair doos. Amongst the calamity and excitement, there were women getting their hair did, or done, or whatever. My goal? Find the Axe people. I figured they weren’t distributing cans of awesome body spray, but there had to be something of value for me to take home. Funny enough for me, they were giving away 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioners. I’m bald. But I do have a beard. I’ve never shampooed my beard before. I guess there’s a first for everything.

I wanted to talk to the Axe folks about how they got involved with the event, but there were too many people clawing for their product and the decibel level made it hard to hear someone without them coating your ear in warm breath. I’m all set with that so I let them get back to distribution and used the little light I got from them to navigate my way to open space.

My goal at this point was to get a picture of Duane Reade on the big screen. With milliseconds to spare, I snapped a photo, which signaled the end of my mission. On the way out, I stopped to snap a few photos of the other Duane Reade product partners in their section (Kind bars are generous to the pallet. Help products are simply helpful). I had to get me some of both. Then I bolted home to kick my feet up and enjoy the weekend. All in a day’s work.

I am a member of the Collective Bias™ Social Fabric® Community. This shop has been compensated as part of a social shopper insights study for Collective Bias.

Original content from The Real Slim Jackson