In truth, de Mello writes, we are already happy. But it has to be uncovered by detaching from all the things (and people) to which we currently tie our happiness.

The information comes from de Mello’s book The Way to Love, his last. It’s a very short book and one sentence of it at a time (as with all his writings) will feed you for a day or more. In my H&W video today I show the book. In the short time I’ve been rereading The Way to Love, I can tell you, it’s liberating.

So are the benefits of solitude. Relaxation. Spiritual connection. Getting work done faster. Listening to music. Bringing your heart rate down. Realizing why your heart rate may have been faster than your wanted in the first place. Recognizing that you’re alive, right now, fully. That you can be happy right now without needing any reason.

Hearing what it says.

Following its instructions, quietly as they are given, yet with more authority than anything on earth.

When this kind of synergy happens I listen up. “For the Bible Tells Me So” made me realize how words we throw out of our mouths carelessly (often out of our own fear) can have devastating effects on others’ mental health. I commend Caitlin of Healthy Tipping Point for using her powerful online voice to destigmatize the conversation around therapy. I am in awe of how Active Minds has harnessed college students’ passion for mental health and become a powerful force of good across the United States. And I continue to send supportive messages to my friend to start a mental health blog–because the online world needs it.

It’s easy to write a health blog about nutrition or exercise but as soon as “mental health” is mentioned all kinds of stereotypes, generalizations, and fears arise. A big reason I write Smart Solitude is because I believe solitude leads to greater self-love–the ultimate sign of mental health.

My friend Maia

Have yourselves an elegant week,

Jacqueline

Reading spells. They’re hazardous to your bedtime, your ability to complete to-do lists, and your workouts; they’re pure indulgence for the soul, pure nutrition for the brain, pure happiness for the introvert.

I don’t need to be in technical solitude (i.e. alone) to fall into reading spells. They often happen on trains or long flights. Yesterday it was a car ride home and those first four pages, and I was done for.

(Plus Fadiman is a masterful writer.)

Here’s to reading spells. When was your last reading spell? Which book caught you?

Prior to menstruating, I often feel a deep pull to move, speak, and think more slowly. It is my body’s way of preparing for a pretty major event.

This morning I initially set out to lift weights to my usual strength training video. This video is typical: your typical exercise music, typical repetitions speed. But intuition spoke up and said, just set a timer and do what comes naturally. So I did. Thirty minutes later, I had incredibly opened my back with some kundalini exercises and an extended stay in plow (please practice plow with respect for your flexibility and current health status).

I am now completely calm, completely relaxed, and stronger. The high energy video would have strengthened muscles but agitated subtler but equally important components of my health.

So when nearing menstruation, I encourage a pause to listen to what your deeper self knows is the best exercise for you that day (maybe none?), not simply what’s on the schedule, what is the norm, or what your ego thinks you ought to do.

And, an update: nearly two weeks into disengaging from Facebook (and a bunch of other crappy blogs I used to read), I am happier than ever. I read more (and am reading better writing, too). Elliot and I have been having more spontaneous fits of laughter, I’m sleeping better. Could this all be from dropping Facebook? Probably not. But it’s a strong factor because I’m ever increasingly living my life, grounded in where I actually am at the moment, rather than flitting all over the place online. It just feels so right.