Smiley Girl...smiling most of the time

Happy Holidays!

2008-12-19T10:39:00.001-08:00

So I'm way behind this year - really REALLY behind. I have Christmas shopping to finish up this weekend, the Christmas letter isn't written yet (it will be I promise because it's family history!) and the Christmas cards aren't ready to go (still waiting on the letter lol). The Christmas tree has been up for a while but the boxes of decorations are still strewn about. Why is this year so disorganized and out of sorts. Someone explained that we had less time because Thanksgiving was so late. But we know it's coming on the same day every year!?! I briefly thought back in November that I should start on the letter but wait....I'll have plenty of time and this is WAY to early. Guess I should have listened to myself!

So I'm behind on that, behind of the blog, behind on a lot. At this point I'm telling myself to be happy, enjoy the season, the things I did get done, and forget those I didn't. That works.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy New Year and Happy Holidays to all my friends and family! See you in 2009!

Dinner time and allowances

2008-09-04T20:51:00.000-07:00

So our new way of living is making us think when it comes to dinner. Our $100 fast food budget gets used up very quickly with a family of 5. We have only used $30 so far but it has to last us until the 15th. We grocery shopped carefully and made sure we had plenty of food for meals but when it comes to mealtime figuring it all out is tough. Tonight was a prime example. Everyone was home tonight and GG and I started to determine what we should cook for dinner. Tacos? We didn't have lettuce, we had hotdogs last night with macaroni and cheese so kielbasa didn't sound too good. So we went to the freezer to figure it out. We both laughed while walking out to the garage and said wow haven't times changed. Before we would have just said let's hop in the car and find some dinner. No more....we don't have enough money in the budget now for that and we have a family birthday party on Sunday at a pizza place that will use a chunk of it.

The girls are getting involved now too. Last night when we were on our way to soccer practice the girls asked what was for dinner. In the past we would have picked something up on the way home...but not last night. I told them I couldn't afford it because we were on a budget. This was D2 and D3. They immediately said "what? why? are we broke?" I explained that no we were not broke but that GG and I had decided that it was time to get out of debt, not use the charge cards anymore and pay off all our bills. They worried that they would lose their allowances. I told them that no it was a line in our budget and it was the money they would be in charge of budgeting.

Fast forward to TV time after dinner. We have soccer candy bars we are selling and GG wanted to buy one. So he asked Brooke if she wanted to split a candy bar. Of course she said yes. Then he said cuz I can only afford a dollar - want to buy one with me? We had a laugh about how hard it is to spend our free money and we explained how we, as parents, now had an allowance of sorts. D2 had a good chuckle about that thought and then reminded us that when it was gone it was gone and you couldn't borrow on the next weeks either (our allowance rule). Oh yeah....that rule...guess we have to follow it too.

I think this change will be good for all of us.

Blessings? I'm thankful for the communication that GG and I have developed about this plan and for the opportunity to teach our girls more about money while they are young.

Forgot the blessings...

2008-09-03T23:20:00.000-07:00

How could I have forgotten to mention my blessings of late. I am truly thankful for the wonderful friends we have who see the possibilities and the hope inside. They took a chance and pushed just a little further to pass along the hope that they have found with debt freedom. We are truly blessed!

I think we are on our way!

2008-09-03T22:20:00.000-07:00

First off, if you are reading this and you can qualify yourself as my immediate friend or family please don't worry or fret about the things I'm about to write about. We are okay, have been okay and will continue to be okay. But that is all we have been....just okay. Let's just say we are finally getting our act together with our finances!

A few months ago a good friend of ours mentioned that financial guru, Dave Ramsey, was coming to our area and would be speaking live. She and her husband are going and they wanted GG and I to come along. I was excited. They have been through the Financial Peace University and are now facilitators of their own FPU group. I mentioned it to GG at the time and he kind of scoffed at the suggestion. I gave it a few months. I brought it up again and he still resisted. He said he was not interested in going to hear someone tell him something he already knew about what to do with money. My question was "then why aren't we doing it??"

A few weeks ago our FPU friends gave us Dave Ramsey's "The Total Money Makeover" book. Their way of "paying it forward" and a gift to us. I was thrilled and started reading immediately. While they were afraid of pushing their boundaries with GG, I told them to not worry about it, that he would be fine. I mentioned that to him and he reminded me that he is an information gatherer and one that will read just about anything to learn something (so what's wrong with listening lol). On that note, I insisted that we sit down and figure out a budget, get our bills together and get going on a plan to get out of debt. We set a date...Labor Day weekend.

Fast forward to Labor Day weekend. We did some labor, had some rest and then got down to business. We have always been current on all of our bills and over the years I have had various plans to keep everything on track. But it's never been a "couple" thing and I was sick and tired of always feeling like the meanie for having to say we didn't have enough money. But times are changing! We sat down together and came up with a plan. We wrote out a budget and got our act together.

The FPU friends had hoped to get us to a class, to a live talk with Dave Ramsey or at least on the program. They passed along some CDs of Dave's radio show - I have been listening faithfully and loving every minute, every suggestion, every piece of advice. I would come home and share little tidbits with with GG. His response surprisingly was "so what things are you going to learn to teach me" and my jaw dropped (he still says he doesn't want to go but I have hope that we can at . I started with the little things....let's make a list of our bills...let's make a budget...let's start living our wage (as Dave would say). And he listened. We gave ourselves a budget of $50 each for the first half of the month. We compromised and we listened to each other. It was great.

So now we are on the road. Last night I mentioned the idea of building our emergency fun (Baby Step 1) to him and he said he thought that it was a good idea. We're about half way there on that one. I started looking last night for some extra income opportunities (things that I had already been doing but now I was the one actively looking instead of waiting for them to call me). I came home today to hear him say "hey I found this new company that I think we both ought to look into as a way to make some extra to actively get this going." He gave this suggestion without me saying a word. Nothing. Nada. Zip. I feel like he's got it and he's heard my vibes about the baby steps I want to work on. Yeah!

One thing we are learning...it's much harder to spend cash on little trivial things. That $50 we each have - that's for coffee on the road, snacks when we are out, and lunches on our own. We each bought a coffee today and a lunch since we were on our own and couldn't get home for lunch. That was tough. Watching that cash leave our hands was difficult but somehow gratifying. GG even laughed and said he no longer will take a free latte's for granted...he'll look forward to that bonus. We both laughed about how easy it is to spend when you don't really know where it's coming from or going to.

Well I'm sorry I've rambled on enough tonight but I had to share. Keep watching for my updates - I think this is going to be a ever changing process and it feels great.

Saturday, August 23rd

2008-08-23T20:37:00.000-07:00

Busy Saturday but got a lot done. Had a good breakfast, watched a movie and played a computer game with GG. What a multi-tasker! Then GG and I both went to work cleaning our rec room downstairs. This room had been a storage area for D1's room and all her belongings while the carpet was being replaced. She has been working on it quite a bit lately (yeah!) but a cat had gotten trapped in that room overnight and unfortunately used a corner for the litter box. We had just found that out and needed to get it cleaned out and the carpet cleaned pronto to avoid long term repercussions. So we spent the afternoon dejunking and cleaning and finished the room (at least for now). All 3 girlies are gone (D1 had to work and D2 and 3 were having a slumber party at their cousins) so we were able to work without interruptions. Got that done, did a little grocery shopping and just finished dinner and the second movie.

The movies today: Bill and Fool's Gold. Both were light hearted movies with pretty good story lines. Fool's Gold had a few "Macgyver" scenes that were a little hokey but overall it was a good one.

Multi-tasking became a subject of chatter today. I used to be one that could do many things at once or at least I thought I could. But the last few years I have noticed that I have to fully concentrate on reading, watching tv or a conversation to fully participate. I thought for a while that it was because of the noise that had to be monitored with each activity. With the TV running constantly in the background (something I am aiming to change) I think I have learned how to completely tune it out in order to concentrate on the subject at hand whether that be a conversation, a newspaper, or a book. But I am finding that if I am doing one thing I do not hear the others. GG was talking to me the other day and I found that if I caught a glimpse of the TV or was in the middle of reading I would not hear a bit of what he was saying. This alarmed me and made me wonder if I was slipping a little. GG laughed and told me he didn't think that was it. We agreed that it was probably just something we have learned to do over time and that our focusing has changed over the years. I do want to hear less of the TV though.....

Blessings for today...my parents made it back from their vacation safe and sound.

My Dad goes in for knee surgery on Monday - say a few prayers for him would ya?

Happy Birthday girlie!

2008-08-21T21:10:00.000-07:00

It's D3's birthday day - her first double digit year as she called it. She is 10 and loving it. I'm currently waiting for D3 and D2 to get their nails done. D3 really wanted a pedicure today - I really wanted to get her one. The problem? I don't have the money to do it. What with the gifts from us and her sisters, the pizza dinner and cake tonight and all the other things that take $$, I just didn't have the extra. So I stood my ground and told her I was really sorry but I could not afford to get her one today. So she and D2 decided to pay for it themselves. D3 got a really cute pedicure, pink nails with a jewel and a blue swirl of some sort. D2 decided on fake nails with blue polish. Blue....not my choice but also not my $$ so it's up to her. They are both feeling like princesses and they are enjoying themselves. D1 is unfortunately in the same boat as me, out of money and she was hanging out with a friend. She's had her treats lately too just not today.

My side is better today, not perfect but I can sleep without too much pain now and I've only noticed it a few times today. Yeah...glad that's all it turned out to be.

Emotionally...could be better. I'm seeing a pattern of resentment happening and I think sometimes that I'm to blame for it. In my first marriage I would stew on a problem or issue because I didn't want the conflict that would result. But because nothing would change (because I didn't vocalize my issues) resentment would brew. I can see that pattern becoming a habit again, only this time I am trying really hard to not repeat it. I was in a foul mood this morning and GG was concerned. I'm just tired of arguing, trying to keep everyone on track, trying to do it all without help or success. I agree that a lot of it is self created stress but I need to vocalize my stress and ask for help. Why is that so difficult. When I'm mad and vent to GG he always tries to put a spin on it to help me through it or help me say something to the kids in a more "constructive" way. We have different views on the way kids should be spoken to and I'm learning that when you grow with a child from the beginning, your discipline and styles are different than when you come into their lives in the "middle" so to speak. Something we have to work through and figure out. Writing about it and "getting it out" is helping so I think journaling may be the key here for me.

Blessings for today: I am truly blessed with a beautiful 10 year old who is a very respectful and gracious young lady. Happy Birthday sweetie!

No rest for the weary

2008-08-20T14:11:00.001-07:00

Didn't get a post out Monday or Tuesday - how is Wednesday for ya? Monday was a good day, D2 and D3 are home from vacation and resting up - traveling is hard work you know! Anyways, Monday night on our way home from my in-laws I started to have a sharp pain under my right rib cage. Hurt badly to breathe or twist in any way. Laid down for a while and it felt slightly better. Slept off and on that night and pain was still there. Had an appointment with Doc. yesterday and she thinks I have strained a muscle between two ribs. She gave me a muscle relaxer to take at night and Ibuprofen to take during the day. Ugh! No working out for me for a while because I want this to heal quickly! It not a constant pain but boy when it catches me it can take my breath away (which of course hurts more because you breathe deeply and quickly!). Said if it's not a lot better by Thursday to call back in. She did do some bloodwork to check for any abnormalities just in case that isn't it. We'll see and hopefully I'll be back to 100% soon.

Took D2 and D3 to register for school yesterday. D3 is now a 5th grader and in our District that means she goes to Middle school. So off we went, they got their lockers, schedules, pictures and all that jazz and were both really excited. I was doing pretty well, I just can't believe that they are already both out of elementary school.

D3 will celebrate her 10th birthday tomorrow - wow - that is a big one (her first "double digit" day as she would say). We are celebrating with family and she will wait until after school starts to have her friend party. She likes to do that and see who is in her class and stuff before having the party. Besides that most of her friends are having last minute vacations and can't come anyways during this time of the year.

I've been struggling with emotions lately and am trying to find the root of my problem. I ran out of my "happy" meds as I would call them and didn't get a refill until just yesterday. My fault but nonetheless doesn't help matters there. FWIW, they just level out my emotions some and I've tried to give them the ole kick in the bucket but life is so much nicer with them so I continue. So they are back on board now and hopefully things will smooth out a bit. Kiddos have been tough for me lately and I probably haven't said the best things in times of stress either. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time to their respective ages though and remember how I treated my parents. Was I this bad or oblivious? It seems most of my time is spent making sure someone got the things done they needed to and/or getting things done myself so we are ready for whatever. There have been many discussions lately about what is fair, just and honest. I just want them to get their stuff done and quit whining. Is that too much to ask? I hate being the bad guy and I've been having to play that role (or so it seems) more than I should have to. I also have been fighting the "wicked stepmother" role (my terms not anyone elses). I grew up in a step parent family (my father passed away when I was 12) and I know whenever Mom didn't let me do something I thought she would I always blamed it on stepdad. Looking back and now living in a similar situation I realize this probably wasn't the case at all but I think as a child you always feel your parent is invincible and the nicest (or I did). I don't want to be the one blamed for decisions that GG and I make in the care and upbringing of D1 but maybe that just comes with the territory? Any thoughts on that especially from those in similar situations? I'm learning but wow this is harder than I thought it would be.

Well I better close for now with blessings for my days....I am blessed with the love and support of my friends. They listen when I need an ear, have a hug ready when needed and otherwise just care. Thanks girlies!

A weekend of rest...like it or not

2008-08-17T15:25:00.000-07:00

Well this weekend forced me to rest. You see, I'm a planner and making my brain take a siesta is a hard thing to do. I had a list of things I wanted to accomplish or get started on....it's D3's birthday this week - she'll be the big one zero..10 (you would think it was her 40th!). I wanted to get her gifts bought, the house cleaned, things for school started and a bunch of other stuff. GG mentioned that since D2 and D3 were still gone that maybe we would get up and go yard saling Saturday morning. I thought that sounded great as we haven't done it much this summer. Anyways I digress. We woke up Saturday morning, grabbed a bagel and some coffee and headed out. It was a nice morning and we found a few treasures but as the morning went on I began to feel kind of icky. By the time we headed home around 11:00 I was feeling really nauseous and yucky. I did not throw up thankfully but headed straight to bed feeling that way and slept until at least 2:30. I felt much better and had to take it easy on the food. This morning I woke up feeling better but certainly not 100%. We ended up getting some shopping done for D3's birthday but came home afterwards and have been resting. I was able to get some work done on the computer but that is about it. I just don't feel "right" and so I'm not pushing it. Maybe it was the ole body trying to tell me to chill and just rest a bit. I didn't get to work out like I had wanted but again maybe that was best.

Blessings for this weekend? I guess I would have to say that I am fortunate to be able to rest when I need it and listen to my body - even if it has to beat me over the head to make me take it. LOL

Terrible Tuesday the 12th

2008-08-16T19:26:00.000-07:00

I'm behind...I'm catching up on this week, writing this on Saturday the 16th - have to fill you in.

Hang on...this is going to be a long one...

Tuesday morning starts out with a day for D1 and I. 3 weeks ago I took a day off with D3 and we went to a local kids center, played some games and then had a nice lunch out. It ws just her and I and it was "our day". The next week was the day for D2. She chose for us to get pedicures and have lunch. We did that and then some shopping with a gift card she had found from her birthday. Now it was time for D1. She chose for us to have massages and I had scheduled then for the morning for us both. Unfortunately we had car things to take care of first and were going to the gym. The garage called a little before 8 and said they would take a look at it. On my way to the gym they called back with the bad news...it had blown a head gasket. For those of you that wonder what that is (or care to know) it happens when the car gets so hot and so pressurized and all the pressure needs somewhere to go. It causes the gasket (thin layer of rubber or material of some sort) to push out and let the steam escape. The problem is the fix. To replace the head gasket you basically have to remove most of the engine parts just to get to it. Then you may have to replace the actual head if it is cracked. Just to replace the head gasket, waterpump, and little parts along with way was going to be $1500! Then if he were to find the head cracked or badly warped we would be looking at a lot more to find that. I checked with my ex who is a mechanic by trade and even the cheap friend rate is $800. Ugh!

Off to the gym to work off some frustration and to think. Talked with GG afterwards and we decide that we can't put anymore money in this car - it has transmission troubles too that need to be fixed and we just don't have the money nor is the car worth the $$ it would take. Double ugh!!!

Home to pick up D1 and get ready for our massages and some more phone chats with GG. We talk about the fact that somehow D1 has to learn from this event and also about the fact that we have no $$ for another car nor (in my opinion) should we just buy her another one. This is where being a step parent gets tough - or at least I think so. You see GG and I were raised quite differently at this age when it came to cars. GG was given a car - more than one in fact - and never had to pay for anything. I on the other hand had a loan with "Mom and Dad First National" as it was referred to and received $500 towards my first car. I paid for my own gas and my parents paid my insurance. I can't remember who paid for things on my car like services, etc. - I'll have to remember to ask Mom about that one. I have learned that when you raise a child together you come up with your family's plan but dropping into a child's life in the middle and being the "step" means you don't always agree on those plans and that sometimes you have to defer a little to the child's main parent. I haven't set my feelings or thoughts aside but I have had to let GG take the lead on this one more than I think I would have had we been the only parents of D1. That said, GG decides that D1 is going to have to make the payments on whatever car she ends up with. An older family member has a car that she is no longer using because of age that is an option and she could make payments on it. More on that tomorrow.

Anyways...we drive across town to our massages and just prior to getting their D1's employer (a local restaurant) calls and asks her where she is. Turns out she was supposed to work that day and she had her schedule mixed up (she thought she was off the whole day). We had to cancel our massages and head home for her to get ready. Now with no car it's up to me and GG to get her to and from work. I'm beginning to think maybe we ought to go back to bed and begin this day again! Unfortunately this won't change a thing. I take her to work and have decided that I'm going to stay home and get a bunch of things accomplished that have been hanging over my head. It was a welcome break for me and I did get a lot of things done including lunch with a good friend.

My blessings for the day...that I have the ability to take time off when I would like whether it be for my family or my sanity.

Overheating on Monday the 11th

2008-08-16T16:36:00.000-07:00

I'm behind...I'm catching up on this week, writing this on Saturday the 16th - have to fill you in.

A little background, D1's car overheated at a friends house Friday night so they put a "bottle" of water in it and drove it home. We mentioned again (and again, and again, and again) that it needed to be serviced to get all the levels checked. Just two weeks prior she was out of brake fluid, had the brakes checked and everything was bad - $619 later she has new rear brakes, alignment, yada yada. This stuff needed to be done and would have had to be done sooner than later so we felt it was necessary. But it was mentioned that she needed to get it serviced. Anyway, moving along to Monday when she is supposed to get it serviced she doesn't find the time before she has to go to work (help me remember when I was a teenager...was I like this?) She then called GG and said she wanted to go visit her mom who lives in a nearby city approximately 30 minutes away with a BIG hill in between. Can you figure out what is going to happen? Five minutes before I am ready to leave for work, GG calls and says D1 is stranded at the base of "the hill" cuz her car overheated. I blew up and ~~screamed~~ mentioned that she was supposed to get it serviced. GG ~~hollered back~~ mentioned that we should handle the problem at hand and figure all that out later, getting D1 back home safely first. I agreed eventually and we set out with jugs of water. Fast forward 2 hours later, we have put the water in the car, waited for it to cool and it's still not starting. The tow truck is called and we are back in town with the car at the mechanics until the morning. Ugh....this was definitely a few hours of me learning to be patient and not losing my cool - I did pretty good. GG and I discussed it (loudly at times I admit) on our way up to get her and by the time we had gotten there had become one again in our thoughts.

My blessings for this day....it is tough for sure to find them in these types of circumstances. I actually think of this challenge on a daily basis and it is keeping me from getting as cranky. I think the blessing would have to be for good insurance (with towing) and the ability to yell with my spouse and eventually "get it together again" and become one.

Trusting on Saturday the 9th

2008-08-09T22:49:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago D1 asked if she could go to the local showing of Warp Tour. For those old folks (like me) it's a day long concert of lots of alternative bands. It was a big decision that GG and I did not take lightly, thought a long time on and finally decided to trust that D1 had learned the important lessons so far in life. We gave her a set of rules (no doing things that you shouldn't, no driving with anyone who has been drinking, no taking food from strangers, etc. etc.). She was super excited and has just returned home, sunburned and exhausted. She excitedly told us all about her day and was very thankful that she was allowed to go. It was neat to see that she had fun, that everything went well and that she was now safe and sound at home. She is definitely growing up.

GG and I got to the gym this morning and then spent the day catching up on things around the house and watching a few movies. We watched Meet the Spartans (a very lame R-Rated spoof in my opinion), The Jumper (a guy who can teleport from one time or space to another) and The Bucket List. My favorite movie by far and one that I would purchase is definitely the Bucket List. Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson do a wonderful job and it is a tear jerker. Have your kleenex handy but don't miss this great movie - it puts a new perspective on your life.

Blessings for the day: We are blessed with a daughter that is growing up and respecting her boundaries. She has a good head on her shoulders and is making wise choices. A beautiful young lady.

8/8/08 and the blessings

2008-08-09T12:56:00.000-07:00

It was 8/8/08 and there was fun had in the media with that date. There was the opening of the Olympics and the babies born at 8:00 on 8/8/08 at 8lbs. 8 oz. Now that would be a fun trivia fact to have.

What did I do on 8/8/08? Well we had a great day at work, celebrated by having lunch together and having a great day. Then GG and I went to a nearby casino, had a seafood buffet dinner and had some fun gambling. I took $20 on a penny machine, brought it up to $115, down to $65 and then cashed out. All this while GG is spending quite a bit more without any luck. We then took the $65 over and learned to play roulette. That was fun. I still can't name all the odds and payouts but it was a challenge, a lot of luck but lots of fun. We played for approximately 30-45 minutes at that table and walked out with nothing but enjoyed ourselves.

Blessing for today: A great workplace and great people to work with. We work hard and play hard and overall I am blessed to have a great job in at a great place.

Blessings for August 7th

2008-08-07T21:44:00.000-07:00

D2 and D3 left this morning for a vacation with their Dad. They'll be gone for 10 days and I'm sure will have a lot of fun. It's pretty quiet around here already. D1 is usually sleeping in the morning, working in the afternoon and hanging out with her friends these last few weeks of summer. We don't see much of her - just here and there between work, lunch, and activities. I don't have a lot planned while they are gone but want to catch up here and there on house stuff and enjoy the TV with GG. The thought of a week without Josh and Drake, Spongebob, Hannah Montana and the like is pretty refreshing LOL.

For my blessing today I found myself thinking about it a lot. It was one of the first things that would pop in my brain whenever I became frustrated (work, kids, etc.). I realized that its next to impossible to think of a true gift or blessing in my life when I am in that mood. I have to draw myself out of it and look at the day entirely different. That's been interesting and I think will be helpful in the future. So on to the true point....my blessing(s) for today.

I am blessed with a nice home to return to each night, no matter what the mess. I have a place to sit, a place to eat and a place to lay my head at night. This I know is far more than some have and I need to remember how much of a blessing this truly is.

Home Sweet Home is truly a blessing.

Finding the blessings in everyday life

2008-08-07T10:18:00.000-07:00

I read a blog by Godswheels on a regular basis and he's given me a few ideas. First off he's pretty good at posting daily (which I'm not lol) but the biggest thing he's working on is listening, being aware and being grateful. He sometimes refers to them as God's whispers and other times as the things right under his nose. Here's where my plan is going to take off. I'm going to attempt to write on a daily basis or at least a post per day or every other day and focus on gratitude and seeing the things that I am blessed with. This is a toughie for me as I've been grumbling lately and have to find a change in my attitude.

So here goes my first...the girlies and I traveled out of town to go school shopping. I have learned something new about each one of them and enjoyed their company. There were very few squabbles and even those ended quickly. Our mission of finding school clothes was achieved very well and with good prices too I might add. Overall we had a great time and I am truly blessed to be the mom (or second mother for one) to such beautiful girls. They are my girlies and I love them dearly!

By the way...I'm going to be renumbering them for easier reference as they continue to get older. D17 will now be D1, D11 will be D2 and D9 will be D3. They keep getting older and changing their names will be complicated. This way they will always stay the same.

Until next time keep your eyes and ears open for the silent blessings in your life.

Resources : http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g8/sammydafrogg/gratitude.jpg

Hang in there!

2008-07-16T22:01:00.001-07:00

I'm still here and have a lot going on. I'm trying hard to find the time to post but this summer with everything going on it's been hard. I have a lot on my mind and so many posts have started (at least up in my brain) that I've got to get it out or I'm going to explode! Hang tight....posts are coming I promise!

Oh the Language!

2008-06-13T22:20:00.000-07:00

What is it with TV and the use of foul language these days? I mean, come on, I don't care if it IS after 9 pm, I don't want to listen to a cuss word every 5-10 minutes and worry that D9 and D11 might hear it while they are trying to go to sleep or have to worry about the words D17 is constantly bombarded with. Do we really need those words to make the show more worth watching? I don't think so.

The one that has really got me upset lately is Battlestar Gallatica. This is only my second season to watch it (it's a show GG has watched for years) and I don't understand the plot through most of it. Last year the language was ok but this year they have gone way overboard. They use the word "frack" and you don't have to be a rocket scientist (or a cylon LOL) to figure out what they are really saying. Take out the "ra" and substitute...well you get the picture. The problem is that they use this word in every other sentence! And if you are using a slang term for a really foul word there really isn't much of a difference then if you were just using the real word. We all know what they are meaning to say and they might as well have said it. Enough already!

There are plenty of other shows that are using the actual language and bleep out only the really foul parts. But most do a lousy job of bleeping out the words and you can either read their lips or deduct from the surrounding words what they are really saying. Hell's Kitchen is a prime example (I know - maybe the title would be a big warning). Every scene is flowered with obscenities and even then most are allowed. Even Top Chef is becoming filthy - why do the stations think that these words need to be left in to make the scene more real or authentic. Even Supernanny has the foul language on occasion - enough!

The biggest thing I worry about is the acceptance of this language as the norm. I don't want my girls growing up thinking that this is OK. If this kind of language was not allowed just ten years ago and now it is allowed this much, how soon will everything be fair game. I do try to stay on top of our girl's TV watching but there are certain shows I have taken for granted to be "safe". Not any longer. We have tried to teach them right and wrong and will have to remain viligant during our TV watching.

I would love to see a good show with a good plot and clean language. I think it could be done and I think the fans would watch it. What do you think?

A quick update

2008-06-12T22:42:00.001-07:00

I'm here and among the living but I've been swamped and haven't taken the time to blog.

First things first....a big THANK YOU to Rock Chick for the great iPod shuffle I just won. It is great (once the girls helped mom figure it out!) and now I can just clip it on my sleeve and go. I've used it at work and around the house and it's so compact I'm afraid now I'll lose it. Don't worry...I'm taking good care of it. I did a quick sync with iTunes and got a lot of the girls music for now...hmmm...makes me feel old. Hopefully one of them can help me load some of my "mom" music on the little thing or maybe I'll take the time this weekend to load them myself.

What have I been up to? Well first off I've been up to my elbows in paint and other fix-it stuff. But it is through, the living room, dining room, hallways, stairwells and adjacent areas are painted and look beautiful. Now we are just waiting for the flooring to arrive. They say it should be in the warehouse on June 18th at which time we can schedule it to be installed. I can't wait! D17 says she wants to get her room painted before then. I made her a deal...she gets it all ready (walls cleaned off and washed, room cleaned out, etc.) and I will buy the paint and help her paint it. So it's up to her now and we'll see how far we get. It would be really nice to paint those rooms but truth be told I just can't be the one in charge of another painting job right now. If she gets it ready I am more than happy to help and get it done. Time will tell.

Well it's late and I've got to get to bed but wanted to send off a quick thank you and update. Hopefully I'll post more in the near future. Got a lot on my mind and want to get it out!

Safety first....but why so much?

2008-05-21T22:15:00.000-07:00

I must start off by saying that I believe in safety. I know it is best to always be safe and not take unnecessary chances....but how much is too much?

I've always joked with those around me that GG is "Mr. Safety" and I can handle it most of the time. He is a very cautious driver, a cautious parker and is always watching out for our safety. But every once in a while it goes over the top.

Because of the recent flood we had in our home, we are painting most of the interior. This means we get to change all of the ugly outlets of times past - you know the yellowed, dirty, yuck color that older homes have? Yeah those. So in my pursuit to find a color that will "match" with the newly chosen wall colors, I discover there is white, old yellow, almond, and then the other more expensive colors and styles. While I'm looking through the choices I discovered a really cool style called the "Masque" wall plate series. This is a series of wallplates that cover up the existing wall plates completely and make it so you don't have to change out the entire outlet. Now this is nice for a number of reasons...first off, it saves you a lot of expense. You only have to buy the cover, not the cover and the outlet or switch. Second it saves you time since you don't have to shut the power off to the existing outlet or switch and then make the changeover. Here's where our safety check came into play the first time. If we have to switch out the outlets and they aren't grounded (yes I know that all outlets really should have grounds and yes I know that that is the safest method) then we will have to find a way to ground them. According to GG this could mean running a ground wire through the house (not sure how this is accomplished) and/or finding another way to properly ground this outlet. My question would be can't you just attach it to the new outlet like the old one was connected. It's worked for the last 40 years in this house hasn't it? Nope - not safe enough.

So sounds easy enough right? Well here's the next safety check. These outlet covers are designed so they can be painted, wallpapered or textured to match the surrounding areas to blend in. Great....I can paint it any color I would want so that it will truly "match". Safety check number two...we might not want to do that because it might not be safe. The paint might not be a good thing to come in contact with the outlet and possible electricity. There was a warning on the cover that stated you should not cover it with metallic wallpaper. Now that makes sense...but paint? Come on. It's what they are designed for! I then casually mentioned that the only way I would be able to use them would be to leave them white because that is the only color they come in (because you PAINT them to match - get it?). I understand his concern but they advertise painting them and they sell them in many places (even Amazon sells them) and they all say you can paint them. Let's trust someone and try it!

Truth be told, I love GG in every way, shape and form, and I even love him when he's being extra "safe". It can be exasperating at times and I do feel like pulling my hair out but all in all it usually turns out fine. Thank for watching out for us dear...we do love you for it.

As a quick update after my original writing of this post...I have figured out that white is really the best looking one so all that discussion for virtually nothing. Go figure!

Happy Anniversary to Us!

2008-05-19T16:29:00.001-07:00

It's our 1st Anniversary today! Wow - a whole year has gone by. It's been a great one, albiet tough at times learning all the new things about combining families, but great. I love my GG and he loves me. That is truly all that matters.

I'm very spoiled and received flowers today from GG. We had joked about giving each other gifts that had to do with the traditional gift list like this one and so this year was Paper. GG had a little fun with this one and as you can see in the picture I have carnations in my bouquet along with one "paper" rose right in the middle. It's made of newspaper and the florist did an excellent job. It makes my heart tingle to think about the thought that went into that. We are going out of town for the weekend in a few and my gift will be given to him them (can't tell you what it is yet cuz he does read this blog every one in a while).

Happy Anniversary Sweetie - I love you!

I'll be shuffling all the way thanks to Rock Chick!

2008-05-17T21:53:00.000-07:00

A big thank you goes out to Rock Chick as I just won her recent raffle of an IPOD shuffle! It was a raffle to help raise money to get the kids to Camp Saguinity. I've always thought the little shuffles were cute and all my girlies have IPODs (which they purchased with their own $$). I would never give myself the permission to buy one and now I don't have to worry about that...because I just won one!!! I've requested a green one (on of my favorite colors - and no I'm not picky....she told me I could choose). She is shipping it out and I'll give you a full report with a pic when I receive it. I am so excited!!!

Here's the funny part...I donated under my "real" name and posted in on my blog with my "SmileyGirl" - not thinking I should make the connection for Rock Chick and Shelly. Lo and behold, as my luck never has it, I won both raffles - one under each name. As I only should have been entered into the contest once I notified Rock Chick and she is re-raffling the gift certificate. But since I had never heard of 2 Belles and a Bead I decided to go check out their stuff. Way cool things and I think they have found themselves another customer. If you get a minute, give them your support and go check them out. It will be worth your time for sure! Thanks goes out to them for donating a $10 gift certificate to Rock Chick's raffle. Way to go!

There are still lots of kids that can use our help and there's still time left for YOU to donate. Click on over and donate the cost of a latte or two by sending a check or clicking on the easy to use PayPal button. It's definitely a worthy cause and will benefit some great kids!

Win Big and Help the Kids Get to Camp!!

2008-05-15T15:54:00.000-07:00

Well first off, I apologize for not posting lately...just have a lot going on. Hopefully I'll catch up with everyone real soon and give you some way overdue updates.

For now though, I really need to get this out quick today. Rock Chick is having a raffle to help get the kids to Camp Saguinity. I posted about the great job Shelly is doing for all these kids Click on over HERE to find out all the details. You can win an IPOD shuffle and who couldn't use a little fun like that once in a while. But hurry - it ends on May 16th!

Go HERE now and get your chance to win!

The Feelings of Morning

2008-04-30T22:10:00.000-07:00

I have learned that mornings can really set the mood for the rest of the day. Monday morning started out really poorly at our house and I didn’t help it much either. You see, getting D11 up and out of bed is a real chore. Probably one that I have created - no definitely one that I have created although I realize that every kid has a different personality and wake up style. Her’s is the lazy, stay in bed until the very last minute, oh there is a cat I must pet first before I get dressed kind of way. So Monday, I poked, I prodded, I asked nicely, I yelled, I rolled her over, I turned up her music, I did way to much to persuade her to get up and get ready. She finally rolled out of bed around 7:30 with approx. 10 minutes to get ready so we could leave. I finally told her that if she wasn’t ready to go by 7:40 she was riding the bus. Of course she wasn’t ready. I was furious. I explained to her (not so nicely I admit) that now she would have to ride the bus (that comes between 7:50 and 8:00 am). She ran around and finished getting ready while I was eating breakfast. I mention to both girls that they better get heading out the door as the bus was going to be there. D9 (who almost never misses the bus or the time) opens the door and hears the bus roaring down the street. She yells that the bus is here and runs out the door to catch it. D11 is still putting her shoe on and getting her backpack ready, and at the moment the bus arrived had just had her backpack spew all over the floor. The bus arrived and left and D11 was left standing in the foyer. Now I was really upset. Not only was she late for her time frame but now I was going to be late for work. Ugh! I gathered up my things for work, mumbling under my breath and told her to hurry up and get in the car. She and I got in the car and off to school and work. I lectured her most of the way and informed her that she definitely was riding the bus the next day.

To top it all off, I have been attempting to train (this is basically what we are doing isn’t it?) the household to put all dishes in the dishwasher instead of leaving them in the sink. I have been trying to keep the dishwasher always empty and accepting dirty dishes so no one has any excuses not to clean up after themselves. Right before I left the house I walked over to put my dishes away and what should be sitting in the sink? GG’s dishes from his morning cereal and coffee - double UGH! Can’t a grown man put his own dishes away in the dishwasher? Especially when we are the primary examples for the kids? Ugh! So I dutifully put them in the dishwasher and trudged on with my morning.

I got to work only 2 minutes late - prior to a few others in my area but was in a very crabby mood. Everything I thought about, looked at or did was a bother, a trouble or an inconvenience. GG called to see how the rest of the morning went and I grumbled to him. The rest of the day slowly got better but wow was it tough.

On to Tuesday….D11 knows that she has to ride the bus, gets up late again but much earlier than the day before. I did not prod and remind. I sismply stated that she would need to be on the bus and get herself ready on time. She did and she made the bus. I got ready myself and then headed to work….on time. My morning was nice, smooth and I felt so much better about everything. Hmmmm….this is nice.

This morning I told each girl twice that it was time to wake up and if I was going to take them they would need to be ready by 7:40. D9 was ready, D11 was not. I had given them a 5 minute and then a 1 minute warning and at 7:42 stated that the bus would be here in 10 minutes. D11 didn’t grumble, didn’t whine and was ready for the bus. D9 decided to have me take her to school (we can leave later for her although the deadline time still applies) and that’s what we did - waving to D11 at the bus stop.

I look back and realize that I am an enabler. I enabled D11 to get away with not getting up, not getting ready on time yet still getting a ride. I have taught her that she can push my buttons and still win. I am not good at being tough but I’m trying. Why does it hurt our hearts so much to make our kids learn rules and consequences. My parents didn’t - we had rules and we had consequences. They weren’t really strict but they didn’t waver a lot either. I want to teach my girls the same thing but wow I never realized the heartache that can go along with being tough.

Hmmm….I think Mom is learning a lesson along the way too.

…and I love feeling good in the morning.

Five Star Friday and a sweatshirt

2008-04-25T11:06:00.000-07:00

I want to give a quick shout out and Thanks! to Five Star Friday for linking to my post about these awful and wonderful Tween years! We got to experience the good and bad side with D11 (the main tween in our household right now - we also have D9 and D17). In case you are wondering and for those just joining me today D11 is our 11 year old daughter, and then we have 9 and 17 year old daughters too. It was D16's birthday yesterday so she's upgraded to D17 (gonna have to figure out some new non-changing names for them I think). We are in the middle of the tween years and finding the day to day changes soooo challenging with mood swings, crying jags, outbursts of energy both happy and sad, and all the other maddening wonderful things that go along with these years.

I just bought a couple books on the tween years and am currently in the middle of "The Tween Years: A Parent's Guide for Surviving Those Terrific, Turbulent and Trying Times" by Donna G. Corwin. It's a great book and an easy read. The best thing I've learned so far is that lots of tweens act this way and they don't really want to. It describes the daughter who still wants to be a little girl and play with Barbies and stuffed animals yet wants to be independent and grown up at the same time. How she wants to cuddle and have her Mom and Dad time, yet when surrounded by friends wants nothing to do with you (luckily this hasn't happened with great force with D11 yet - she still like us). How it is truly a life changing time for both the kids and the parents and some tips on how to get through them.

Anyways, last night was a busy night. We had D17's birthday dinner, then a trot over to a local park to hear D9 sing (which was great by the way) and then home to take a shower. Ugh....the dreaded shower. D11 fought us for a while and I tried really really hard not to fight back. I was stern and gave her the run down of what she needed to get done. I did lose my cool a few times in the process but attempted to not take her yelling and argumentative attitude personally. She finally conceded and took a quick shower. Then it was off to bed (after 20 minutes of delays, drinks of water, hugs, and stalls). Then she started crying. I hollered for her to stop (yes I admit, at this point I was losing my cool) thinking that her crying was just an attempt to get us back into her room for another delay. But she didn't quit. Finally GG (Great Guy, my hubby, her stepdad, for the first time visitors) asked her to come out and sit with us and tell us what was wrong. Through tears and laughter we discovered that all of this had to do with a boy. She apparently saw a boy she "likes" loan his sweatshirt to another girl in her class at recess. It was crushing to her and she cried with us about how it felt. We talked for a few more minutes with her about her feelings and ways she could deal with it but it was new to us too. Then off to bed she went, with a kiss from me and GG and loves all around.

Oh wow...I think the boy times are beginning. You see this is new - she's never been into boys. Yeah sure she had the occasional few through the years she claimed to like and she laughed about it but never worried about them much. But those hormones aren't raging for nothing. Now don't worry....I've done the Mom check. Her hormones aren't going anywhere except to the pitter patter of her heart. She thinks kissing is "ewwy", thinks there is no way you would hold hands or hug and would never dream of touching a boy with even a finger (all her words not mine) but her heart dropped at the sight of the sweatshirt exchange. It was the first sign to me that she was beginning to feel those grown up girl hormones and emotions. My baby is growing up. That makes my heart drop. To find the words to help her made me realize that while she'll always be my baby, my baby is becoming a young lady. Ugh. Now I'm the one crying. And all because of a lousy sweatshirt. I need to go find one of mine....maybe she can wear that one for a while.

Thanks for checking in, SmileyGirl

Oh the Tween Years are Beginning

2008-04-20T21:10:00.000-07:00

Oh the world of tween emotions. I think it’s only beginning. My daughter is 11 and developing both physically and emotionally. Where has my baby gone or where is she going? She is growing into a beautiful preteen but wow those emotions! Tonight it was over the simple act of taking a shower.

Showers at our house for her have always been a struggle. But combined with the tears and fatigue of the tween hormones I think we are in for a doozie. I can’t say that I handled it as well as I could have - in fact I’m sure I made errors…plenty of them. I trusted then I reminded. I reminded and then I nagged. I raised my voice and then I threatened punishment. Then I took the TV time away for the rest of the night. Her response to my “go take a shower” was a simple and sweet No. AARRRGGG! Again it was “No” and “I don’t care” to just about anything she was told to do and mentioned would be punishment. At this point 30 minutes later, she had now lost her allowance. $11 gone down the drain (pun intended) and she was still stating that she “didn’t care”. Ugh.

I got her to start talking and this was very tough among the tears. She is afraid of upsetting her Dad, afraid of disappointments, but mostly just teary with no explainable reason. Picture your worst PMS days with the whole world closing in on you and this is what I imagine she is feeling. It breaks my heart in many pieces to see her like this but I don’t know what to do. I talked with her for quite a while and thought we were to a breaking point. Again, it’s time for a shower.

Long story short, 1 hour and 15 minutes later, no shower and a final threat from both GG and I that if she can’t take regular showers she can’t play spring softball. Her first practice was tonight so the fear in her eyes was evident. Finally…something that she cared about. She headed off to bed with the final words….she would need to have a shower before we leave tomorrow at 7:30 am or softball was done. She would not be playing. As tough as that is, it is a truth that I will follow through. Heck…it may even make our lifes easier in more ways than one.

But I’m not so sure I can do this for the next 3-5 years. But then again I don’t have a lot of choice do I? Nope, I’m here for her for life.

Earn $25 for a new ING account

2008-04-20T18:00:00.000-07:00

I am an ING customer and have referrals available for anyone looking to make a quick $25. The rates are down from when I first joined but still better than many banks. If you have $250 you can deposit temporarily, you too can earn a quick $25. Email me directly and I'll send you the link - that way I don't run out without knowing they will be used. You gain $25 and I gain $10 - we both win. I'll snowflake my referral fee to my debt. You can use it however you would like. :)