This is a transcript of a speech I gave recently in my living room.

Dear Children,

I am fully aware that it embarrasses you in front of your friends when I march up to the front row during the middle of church and snatch you up to have you sit beside me. That was sort of the point.

That does not mean I hate you, as you may suppose. It means I love you. And that I am exercising my God-given authority as a parent.

Exercising my authority means that I will make doing the things you ought not to be doing extremely uncomfortable for you. (See embarrassing scenario above.)

It also means that I will decide what things you ought not to be doing. Those will include, but are not exclusive to: talking back, acting silly during church, not completing your school work, smoking, fighting, cussing, drinking, drugs, sex… You get the idea.

You might want to spread the word.

I’m “The Mean Mom”.

And proud of it.

It’s time again for The 4 Moms of 35+ Kids to answer reader questions!

As for me, here are a few questions I have been asked recently:

How much milk do you allow your children to have each day without breaking the grocery budget?

We normally drink a gallon of milk each day, and that is mainly allowing milk only at breakfast and dinner, with water for a lunch drink. Since we just got 2 dairy goats and one is due to kid at any minute, we are hoping to allow as much milk as anyone asks for as soon as those babies are strong and healthy. After the goat kids are a month or so old, the custom is to separate them from the mother at night, and milk first thing in the morning. Then the kids are turned out to be with the mother all day.

We are also hoping to make some of our own cheese, butter, and yogurt. Check back for reports on how that goes!

How do you deal with grooming? Do you trim nails on a schedule or just when your kids looks like Wolverine? Same with haircuts.

I go with the Wolverine method, trying to double check everyone before church on Sundays. Our goal is to have no more than one at a time who looks like a ragamuffin. It usually works.

How do you encourage children to become independent with their school work?

This is a struggle with certain children. Since they have my attention all day, I sometimes find them asking for assistance or at least to check their work on every single question. I usually don’t even realize it is happening until I have helped with every problem half way through the assignment. After I realize what is happening, I go over the ideas in the lesson to make sure they understand, encourage them that they can do it, and then send them to their rooms to do the rest on their own.

I think each of my children is plenty independent in thinking, playing, and working, but in the subjects they feel weakest, they want to be sure to get the answers right, so they want me by their side. I don’t consider it a huge problem, especially since they do actually care to get the material right. But once I realize they are monopolizing my time and not going on to any problems without my help, I send them on their way.

How do you deal with the afternoon slump?

We have a daily one hour nap time. Everyone goes to a bed or couch to read or rest. I use this time to catch up on work or rest myself, and you’d be surprised how refreshing this can be! By 4:00 I know I need to start thinking about dinner plans, so even if I am in a slump, I press on and begin preparations.

Don’t forget to visit the rest of my team to see what questions they are answering today:

• The Common Room
• Life in a Shoe
• Raising Olives

Now comes that portion of the program when we reveal some of the “extreme honesty” that has been heard recently from the 4 year old.

(All of this took place in a very crowded waiting room.)

• “It stinks in here. Who tooted?”
• (Very loudly) “Why is that lady so fat?”
• (Looking up at me lovingly) “You have 2 boogers in your nose.”

See more extreme honesty here and find out why you might want to steer clear of us if you see us heading your way at Walmart.

How about you? Have your kids embarrassed you this week?

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We have had taco soup twice in the past week, and it isn’t even because we had leftovers! My kids have begged for it!

This is a super simple recipe that you can simmer all day in the slow cooker if you are going to be away from home or for 20 or so minutes on the stove top if you need it in a hurry.

I have varied the ingredients a little each time I made it. It is very forgiving. Just add what you like, serve over tortilla chips, corn chips, or rice, and top with shredded cheese, sour cream, and whatever else you like.

Taco Soup Recipe

• 1 lb. ground beef
• 1 packet taco seasoning
• 1 packet ranch dressing mix (or about 1/2 cup of the bottled dressing)
• 1 can diced tomatoes and chiles (Ro-tel)
• 1 can tomato sauce
• 1 can pinto beans
• 1 can black beans
• 1 can whole kernel corn

1. Brown ground beef and drain.
2. Add taco seasoning and 3/4 cups water. Simmer 5 minutes.
3. In large pot, add ground beef, all canned ingredients with liquids, and ranch dressing.
4. Simmer 15-20 minutes.
5. Serve over tortilla chips, corn chips, or rice.
6. Add shredded cheese, sour cream, guacamole, diced onions, and any taco toppings you like.
7. ENJOY!

Don’t forget to “Pin” this if you like it!

Have you seen my homemade White Castle Sliders? Mmmmm. Fast food at home! What’s not to love?

And if you like to use your slow cooker, be sure to check out these 8 Easy Crockpot Recipes and this “What’s In Your Crock Pot?” link-up with over 100 slow cooker recipes!

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*Affiliate links included in this post.

I once heard that whenever people are going through a difficult time, they get into the mindset that “for ever and ever everything will be this difficult.”

What interested me when I heard about this was that the age and circumstance of the person made no difference in the thought process. Troubled teens, new mothers of colicky babies, elderly widows with health issues. In the middle of their distress they each believed, “Things will never change. My life will always be this way.”

I remember being a young(ish) mom of a certain hyperactive, strong-willed, difficult child.

Child made everyday events, like going to the grocery store a challenge. Child once so traumatized the teen-aged babysitter by biting her, that Mr. Smockity and I were called by the babysitter’s parents to have a meeting about how Child’s behavior had affected their family. When I was in the hospital during an entire month of pre-term labor, and we had a friend (Hi, Julie!) watching the kids while Mr. Smockity worked, Child would reportedly run out the door and away from her in an attempt to avoid consequences for disobedience. Child would scream and cry during Bible class so that people would shake their heads and ask, “Oh, you’re still having trouble with Child?”

Yeah.

I used to think, “What am I going to do about Child??? Child is always going to be difficult. Things will never change.”

But things did change.

For one thing, I became a better parent. And for another thing, Child grew and matured and it turned out that some of my words  and admonitions and direction actually stuck in that hard headed noggin.

Child is now a perfectly nice, human being. Child isn’t perfect, but neither am I, so we’re calling it even.

People who know us now who didn’t know us then would never suspect Child used to act that way.

My message to you if you are going through a difficult time is, hang in there. It won’t always be this difficult. Things will get better. The sun’ll come out tomorrow. Bet your bottom dollar.

The 4 Moms of 35 Kids are discussing how to organize all the clothes in a large family.

Truly, this is a challenge. If a large family mom doesn’t have some kind of system and limit to the amount of clothing that dwells in the house it can look like a bomb went off in the children’s clothing section of Goodwill.

I mean, that’s what I’ve heard. Ahem.

I do a seasonal clothes switch twice a year and allow each child to choose 7 shirts, 4 bottoms, and 4 dresses from a stash of large, plastic bins we keep in the garage.

The bins are labeled with sizes and season. This is an old picture. I gave up on the boy/girl labels since we haven’t been to produce a boy in over 15 years and 6 children.

Each child that shares a bedroom also shares a dresser and is assigned certain drawers in which to keep clothes.

I also recently bought each child her own pop up hamper. The idea is for all dirty clothes to go into each person’s own hamper and be washed by the child who owns the hamper. The idea is to eliminate, “She took my favorite shirt!” or “Those are MY pants she’s wearing!” Time will tell if this idea works.

Be sure to check out what the rest of The 4 Moms team does to manage the clothes in their families:

• Raising Olives
• The Common Room
• Life in a Shoe

And then link up your own posts about clothes management to join in on the fun!

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.”

I have seen this quote floating around the internet with pictures of weddings and newly born babies and little girls finding starfish on the beach and such.

And I keep thinking, that no, life is not made up of moments that take our breath away. In reality life is made up of dirty laundry and spilled milk and tires that get stuck in the mud, and in between those times there are little glimpses of heaven we get to store up in our hearts.

But we must look carefully or we will miss the glimpses. They are fleeting. A mere whisper. And before we even realize it they are gone.

We have not had a lifetime full of moments that take our breath away. No Nobel Peace Prizes here or weddings on the beach at sunset or invitations to the White House.

Today we swept the floor three times and loaded the dishwasher twice. We filled out assignment sheets, called out spelling words, and cleaned up potty accidents. There was bickering and sassing and whining.

But in between all that there was a 15 year old brother making his baby sister giggle like crazy with his smooches. There were 3 little girls clapping in glee outside my kitchen window chanting in unison, “Mommy’s frying okra! Mommy’s frying okra!” There was a 4 year old who told me I can’t imagine how much she loves me.

Those are the moments life is made of. They won’t make it into any photo albums or scrapbook pages. But be sure not to miss them. They are the best part of this crazy thing called life.

Our congregation is going through a forty day fast, wherein church members are encouraged to participate in scheduled prayer topics and fasts from certain things.

Some of the suggested fasts are fasting from social media, fasting from sarcasm or negative talk, and fasting from the news.

Also on the schedule is fasting from food for one meal or during daylight hours.

I think all of the above are worthy and beneficial, but I would like to talk about fasting in the traditional sense.

Have you ever fasted from all food for more than 24 hours for the express purpose of prayer? If you haven’t, you are definitely missing an opportunity to draw near to God. As a bonus, James 4:8 tells us that if we draw near to God, He will draw near to us!

Jesus said in Matthew 6, “When you fast…”, not if, but when, as if he expected his followers to do so.

When I am not pregnant or nursing, as is the case now, I have found it a huge blessing to plan and dedicate times of fasting and prayer.

When I am fasting for several days from food, I am reminded in a very physical way (stomach growling, weakness) multiple times, even hourly, throughout each day that I have a maker who provides for my needs daily.

When I feel hungry, but I continue fasting, I am reminded to be thankful for delicious foods and the ability to enjoy them.

Denying myself the comfort and sustenance of food for a time reminds me to praise God for even small blessings that we take for granted every day.

Each time I feel hunger, I remember to pray for those on my prayer list: 2 baby boys in Africa, starving in an orphanage and waiting to come to their new home in Texas, hopefully very soon; a teenage mother lost and alone in foster care; 2 families who found out last week that the father no longer has a job; a little girl named Nditenga; a deaf man wishing to worship in a hearing world; and more.

When I see everyone enjoying my favorite pizza and I want a bite, but I decline, I think of Jesus and the far greater sacrifice he made for us.

When I am weak from hunger, I must draw on strength from above, and I realize that “God is my refuge and STRENGTH,” (Psalm 46:1) and as little children often sing, “I am weak, but He is strong.”

It is so easy for adults to forget the weakness and vulnerability we experienced as little children. When we were very small, we accepted that we were powerless to care for our own needs, to drive where we needed to go, to even survive without someone caring for us. We grew up and found that we can care for ourselves, and sometimes we forget that we still have one who cares for us, without whom we would not survive.

Throughout each day, even when I am not fasting, I like to think that I am in constant prayer, that I have a running conversation going with my heavenly Father. But when I am fasting, I realize that I am in constant prayer at a much deeper level. Minute by minute, my growling stomach urges me to remember who it is that sustains me. I am constantly, constantly, in a powerful, physical way, reminded to turn to God.

I am no biblical scholar, but I know why fasting and prayer go hand in hand. Fasting makes me weak, needy, and powerless. Fasting makes Him strong, benevolent, and ever-present.

If you are a healthy person, not pregnant or nursing, not tempted by an eating disorder, I believe that you may find fasting beneficial to drawing you closer to God, too.