So Many Shirts and Only One Body

In Absentia

noreply@blogger.com (The Jaunty Scamp) — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 08:05:00 +0000

You might have notice tumbleweeds blowing through this ghost town of a blog. I've been busy but I'm back, this time at a new blog with a new name (Second Skin). So much cooler than So Many Shirts and Only One Body. Even if you acronymize it you get SMSOOB. What the hell is that? It's like a portmanteau of Short Messaging System and boobs.

Anyway.

Here be the new blog, http://secondskin.vox.com. There are kinks to be worked out but it'll do for now. Also, I'm taking the old e-mail address off for the time being.

See you lot on the other side.

Turkey Coma Day

noreply@blogger.com (The Jaunty Scamp) — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 08:10:00 +0000

So, Thanksgiving is one of the days when you get together with people you're related to and realize in between helpings of turkey and racist rants from your cancer-mouth uncle, you cannot stand these people.

If that's not enough, there's Black Friday. Have you heard the latest news? A Wal-Mart employee was crushed to death by the savings-hungry mob. That is unfortunate - dying in Wal-Mart.

So, to avoid going out and getting crushed, here's an online alternative. Jonathan Kruse from Mediocore Clothing has a 20% discount of his shirts. Just type in AWESOME at checkout.

Scary Tales

noreply@blogger.com (The Jaunty Scamp) — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 17:10:00 +0000

I'm never one to believe in ghosts. I'm a scientific man and not one to be easily swayed by superstitions and trick of the mind but I'm very fascinated by séances. You know the whole spewing of ectoplasm from their facial orifices? What's the deal with that? It looks like ghost spunk. Is that what a séance boils down to? Having the dearly departed return and rape you in the face?

These are the kind of things I tell children around a campfire.

Oh, and Dance Party Massacre has a Halloween sale.

Shirt Ads

noreply@blogger.com (The Jaunty Scamp) — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 05:57:00 +0000

I plan to move to Hollywood to jumpstart my career in inane reality shows and ass kissing but Brian Hedden from You Are So Famous is killing my buzz.

Life On Mars

noreply@blogger.com (The Jaunty Scamp) — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 05:20:00 +0000

I cannot explain how much I love David Bowie even though, back in the seventies, he looked like your average androgynous anime male, he still has a special place in my heart. I could stare into his mismatch eyes all the time and see the stars therein.

RikkiB (her dingo ate her baby) designed the shirt for Myke D, who runs In the Dryer, has this amalgamation of Ziggy Stardust and Marilyn Monroe. RikkiB also has another spankin' shirt for sale on Tee Fury. This has been a good week for her.

Monies: US$21 (In the Dryer), US$9 (Tee Fury)

Shark Week!

noreply@blogger.com (The Jaunty Scamp) — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 19:01:00 +0000

That is all.

coupon code: SHIRTONME

I Love the 80s.

noreply@blogger.com (The Jaunty Scamp) — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 06:22:00 +0000

VH1 used to have some dignity... until they started broadcasting waste matter like I Love New York or I Love Money or I Love Being a Media Whore or something like that.

But I tolerate VH1 for Michael Ian Black whenever he appears on Best Week Ever.

Anyway, since this is summer, it's always ripe for a summer sale. Mediocore Clothing has a sale starting this Friday (08/01/08) and ends next Friday (08/08/08).

I should be getting a coupon code that gets you 20% off as well, so stay tune for that.

Edit: Kids... the coupon code is "shirtonme."

Bad Dog?

noreply@blogger.com (The Jaunty Scamp) — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 05:33:00 +0000

There's so many ways to interpret this (okay, for the more savvy readers, only one) but I'm gonna go with the scenario that Bukkake is the name for a untrained dog.

Let's just leave it at that.

Monies: £26 or US$40.50

Where is The Jaunty Scamp?

noreply@blogger.com (The Jaunty Scamp) — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 03:40:00 +0000

"Seriously. Where the fuck is he?"

I was occupied. My bad. I apologize profusely to the two readers that read this regularly.

Meanwhile, may I introduce you to Bad As Hell Clothing that has this shirt of Mack the Knife, who has such teeth dear, and it shows them pearly white...

Monies: US$17

Like Lightning

noreply@blogger.com (The Jaunty Scamp) — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 08:18:00 +0000

Slow Loris creator, Jessica Lynch, was filming from her house when she was apparently struck by lightning.

She's fine... but now she has occasional glimpses into the Dead Zone!

McKinnon's T-Shirt Giveaway

noreply@blogger.com (The Jaunty Scamp) — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 08:00:00 +0000

If you do not know who Casey McKinnon is already, it is possible that your safety features on your Interweb set to filter out good tastes.

McKinnon (seen here with a new haircut) has t-shirts to give away. I'm a little late on this but hey, there might be some shirts still available. Her shirts are XS and S, so please ask for the shirts because you will wear it and not because you just want a piece of fabric laced with McKinnon's musk.

Hush Hush, Don't Tell

noreply@blogger.com (The Jaunty Scamp) — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 18:33:00 +0000

I got this by way of secret courier but Ten Bills has a secret coupon code. Just type in SUMMER

Offer ends July 14. at the checkout to get 30% off their ten-dollah priced tee.

What I Got - Mess

noreply@blogger.com (The Jaunty Scamp) — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 02:34:00 +0000

From the totalitarian lands from whence my ancestors hail from, I received a special package
from MESS Beijing.

DHL. Wow, I feel like royalty when a company has to send it by courier.

This is interesting. This is the first time someone sent me a carrier bag. And inside the carrier...

... it's an envelope. This is all turning out very chic. There's a certain sense of sophistication if I may say so.

But the creme de la creme is the shirt. It's an iron-on image on a heavy shirt. I could be wrong but it seems that many shirts from China are made thicker. It's a tongue-firmly-in-cheek take on communism. I don't usually wear shirts of these sort (I'm looking at you Che Guevara shirt) but they won me over with the design.

This is printed on the back of the shirt.

This is at sewn at the hem. This makes me feel special.

This is the tag. I assume the number two in Chinese means a size medium and not that I'm second-place or as Seinfeld refer to affectionately, "the first loser." Though wearing it makes me feel anything but.

Head Crusher

noreply@blogger.com (The Jaunty Scamp) — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 07:20:00 +0000

Remember that skit from Kids in the Hall, where Head Crusher faces off with Face Pincer? That was an awesome absurdist sketch. Monsieur Poulet (that's Mister Chicken to you Anglophile) also sell t-shirts of the same absurdist fare and this particular shirt of the KITH variety as well.

Monies: 23€ or US$36

"Nice thinkin', Ray."

noreply@blogger.com (The Jaunty Scamp) — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 05:51:00 +0000

If you don't buy this shirt, I don't think we can see each other anymore.

Monies: US$20

Laser Wolves

noreply@blogger.com (The Jaunty Scamp) — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 04:48:00 +0000

Common Threadz's mission is that for every t-shirt sold, they will provide one school uniform for the impoverished kids in Africa.

This strikes me strange. Why not just give the kids the t-shirt? It's fast, simple. Unless, the school wants uniformity in the attire in school.

But buy it, so you can clothe a kid who wants to go to school. Also, wolves shooting lasers out of their eyes are cool.

"Put A Shrimp On the Barbie!"

noreply@blogger.com (The Jaunty Scamp) — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 06:41:00 +0000

I always thought of Australia as some sort of strange land where winter occurs in the middle of the calendar year and the water spirals differently and it used to initially house criminals and weird creatures like a mammal that actually lay eggs. Oh, wait... it actually is the case. Australia is a dandy place. You get to see Ayer's rock and scoff like an unwanted tourists, "wot? Is that it, then? Well, I'm gonna get me a can of Foster's."

The Land Down Under also hosts artists like Torso, which I'm pretty sure we posted before. The mates at Torso has a better navigation layout but still not enough t-shirts. So buy shirts from them and they'll print more new ones. That's the circle of life, see?

You might also remember People Like Us (again, pretty sure we posted about them before). now they are in the business much longer than Torso, thus their large and eclectic line of shirts. Their summer lineup for 2008 is up. Buy a shirt, save on suntan lotion (though, beware of a farmer's tan).

But you know what I'm waiting for? Pardon My Hindi's new lineup. Their last announcement was "New Shirts Coming Very Soon." This was August 2007. How soon is PMH's soon? Are they living in another dimension where time flows differently?

T-Shirts That Will Get You Punch In the Face #5

noreply@blogger.com (The Jaunty Scamp) — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 08:45:00 +0000

... or anally raped by the gloved hands of immigration.

The Queen is Dead

noreply@blogger.com (The Jaunty Scamp) — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 05:23:00 +0000

I love me some Morrissey.

Monies: US$15

PS: Does anybody still know what his sexual orientation is? They guy changes like a chameleon stuck in a rainbow.

What I Got - You're So Famous

noreply@blogger.com (The Jaunty Scamp) — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 08:05:00 +0000

If you ask me (and you should because I'm a know-it-all), being famous isn't what it's cracked up to be. I read an article about how today's Hollywood stars would dressed and you see images of Leo in a frumpy sweater and baseball cap or Elijah looking like an old lesbian.

I used to remember Cary Grant always looking debonair in a suit or Edie Sedgewick looking mod and smoking a cigarette... OMG, the woman makes cancer sexy.

It used to be that being fashion meant working for it but thanks to the Internet and super-rich people without proper parenting skills, you get your Hiltons and Dohertys parading the red carpet.

Their fifteen minutes has dragged on for infinitum.

While many tries to fight against the tsunami of famedom, You Are So Famous seeks to join them. While taking the piss out of them at the same time.

This incognito-looking package I got from them held my key to being famous.

What? No blackberry?

Anyway, I like to show you their promotional items. This is their promo card.

This is the back of it, where you suddenly lose the power of speech, you can still depend on your dexterous fingers to send texts to your peeps on how cool the shirt is.

Now here's what I didn't understand. Famous is a new site that sells t-shirt so, obviously the key to bringing in sales is getting the word out. One of the true-and-tried method are stickers. You get them when you receive your shirt from the company, you know, so you can spread the word by becoming an informal street teammate and deface government property with the stickers. This kind of advertising is almost free and most of the work is done for you.

The sticker above is the only one I got. And they chose to affix it to a plastic bag that used to house my t-shirt?

I appreciate that Famous prints on Alternative Apparel. The material is soft as though the secret ingredient for the softness are flayed baby angels' skins. I think people should print on more materials like Alternative Apparel.

I also love the slogan. It's witty without being too smug about it. It's one of them "nudge-nudge-wink-wink" situations that you're either in on the joke or not. Instead of an outright rant against La-La-Land superficiality, Famous undermines it by further exposing it to such points of incredulity. And therein lies the joke.

The only concern is a backlash if certain phrases are repeated too often. (I swear I'll bite into the jugular of the next person who quotes "it's niiiice.") As long as Famous continues infusing their own spin to celebrities' sound bites, their fifteen minutes will go a long way.

Easy Rider

noreply@blogger.com (The Jaunty Scamp) — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 04:53:00 +0000

I don't own a bike but hot damn wearing this will get me the ladies.

Monies: US$25

Temptation

noreply@blogger.com (The Jaunty Scamp) — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 05:26:00 +0000

The title for this shirt is "time waits for no man" but it kind of reminds of the old-timey magic poster, where the prevalent theme is the devil whispering secrets into the conjurer's ear.

Monies: US$24.64

What I Got - Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction

noreply@blogger.com (The Jaunty Scamp) — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 04:44:00 +0000

Let's rap about Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction (AAMR).

The Philadelphia store takes its namesake from German cultural critic Walter Benjamin's essay title. If you happen to be forced to take art criticism as a minor (like me), you'll know that Benjamin is concern with how mass reproduction could affect the "aura" of the art.

For example, is seeing a picture of the Mona Lisa the same as seeing the real McCoy in the Lourve? Do you still get the same experience? Does copying art change its "artfulness?"

So this was what I got, which I gathered, someone else out there already has.

They probably have the same press kits that I have...

... which contained the same CD of their catalogs or the same press releases or the same artists portfolio of Alex Lukas or Thom Lessner, whose shirt that I'll get into in a minute.

The only thing that was individualized was this lovely card addressed to me though someone did point out to me that the letters of GyroWorldWide (the marketing geniuses behind AAMR) logo is an anagram for ORGY. Sure I could have come up with ROY G. but that wouldn't be funny.

Where was I? Oh, yeah. The shirt.

This is it.

Some of you might be wondering what's the deal with the Rod Stewart tranny? Well, ignoramus, prepare to be schooled. This is an amalgamation of Patrick Nagel and Diamond Dave. It's Lessner's tribute to the 80's. Sure, I might get puzzled stares from the public eye and some might wrongly attribute the person to Axel Rose or a fat [insert any hair metal musician] but that doesn't take away the specialness of the shirt.

What I found weird was the tags of the shirt. You have the AAMR tag sewn onto an American Apparel shirt with the tag still attached... it doesn't seem to mesh. One of them needs to go.

In conclusion, I love the shirt design. Lessner makes pretty cool shit. And you can see from the rest of AAMR's lineup, that the artistic creativity is being pushed to new boundaries. I mean, have you not seen this and not want to punch a hole into space and time and just retrieve the shirt for your ownself?

Not only is AAMR prudent in who they get to design the shirts, they're also professional in terms of getting their name out. The press kit that I got from them tells me that they know what they're doing, it tells you that they're cool to do business with.

And in a time where t-shirt sites are a dime and a dozen, Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction is one of the few sites that manages to retain its "aura."

Son of A Warm, Stiff Upper Lip

noreply@blogger.com (The Jaunty Scamp) — Sat, 31 May 2008 06:15:00 +0000

"Sonouvabitch, another mustache-themed shirt site again?" you bemoan. "Is he retarded? Does he have some sort of facial hair fetish?"

Look. My sexual predilection aside, chalk this one up to mere serendipity. After the e-mail from Mustache and Friends, an e-mail from Fuzzy Ink settled into my in-box and their designs were too good to pass up like a Rhett Butler lookalike shaving.

They even have a coupon code that you have to answer a mustache-related trivia question on to get a discount. That's right, schoozners. You gotta work for your money.

Monies: US$17.95

A Warm, Stiff Upper-Lip

noreply@blogger.com (The Jaunty Scamp) — Thu, 29 May 2008 07:29:00 +0000

I want to abstain from cracking wise about mustaches and free rides (snigger) so, instead, I'll post about Mustache and Friends doing the unthinkable by verving from their mustache-themed lineup by having 80s Eddie, designed by Derek Deal, for a presale.

Man, was the eighties as horrible as I imagined it to be?

Monies: US$20 (pre-sale) US$25 (normal sale)