A Smut-Filled Tome

Kenny and Renee: What in the Hell Happened?

2009-02-01T21:00:00.004-05:00

It was in the Spring of 2008 that I first wrote about the puzzling, brief marriage of Kenny Chesney and Renee Zellwegger. I'm amazed at how many share my curiosity, even after all this time. So, what do you think? What happened between Kenny Chesney and Renee Zellwegger? Feel free to share your ideas with a comment. What happened? And more importantly, why do we care?It's in the news again. And

Madonna's Mad Again

2009-01-27T13:34:00.017-05:00

The Great Pretender feigns annoyance at the recent release of nasty photos!In other news, Vadge spends weekend at Seinfeld's house! Rodriguez was there! Again! Boring! What good can come of this tawdry coupling? We'll wait....

Reunited and it Feels So Good

2009-01-15T13:52:00.007-05:00

Horehand was back with her Smiler last night.Sam doesn't look all angry and jealous yet; things must be good. She'll never be able to control Horehand, so she'll never be happy with her. Such is life.

Been Caught Stealing: Crackie Wants Your Liquor

2009-01-14T15:03:00.012-05:00

The Crackie of Camden continues a dubious recovery process while on holiday in St. Lucia. She's been spotted stealing abandoned drinks and guzzling the backwash left behind in other guests' drinking glasses.“She walks around in the same grimy bikini bottoms each day with her boobs on show, gets drunk, gropes waiters and is rude to male staff. She’s hardly the most popular guest,” says a

When Clothes Attack Zellweger

2009-01-12T12:56:00.041-05:00

Take a deep breath, because this will be painful: the sight of Renee last night. "Sheer disaster"and "Worst dressed" are not how a star hopes to be remembered on the red carpet. And Renee Zellweger's calamitous appearance at the Golden Globes just brings it all back, doesn't it. You know what I'm talking about. The torture of not knowing. The lack of closure.Gripped by yet another night of

Brangelina Rebuke Gaycrest

2009-01-11T20:32:00.032-05:00

Ryan Secrest squawked three years ago when he thought he'd been snubbed by Angelina Jolie at the Golden Globes. He foolishly flapped his lips all over God's creation telling the story.So it should come as no surprise that his feathers have been pulled again. The perpetrators of the slight in 2006 (I originally thought 2007?), Brangelina, cruelly and pointedly shunned him once more at today's

Horehand on the Town Without "The Smiler"

2009-01-11T17:34:00.046-05:00

Lindsay Horehand was smelled spotted at Apple Lounge Tuesday night; West Hollywood. Well, actually it's SamRo who's rumored to have hygienic challenges. Anyway, the two lovebirds were not together."Linds and Co. left after only an hour at Apple, while across town Sam grabbed dinner solo at Il Tramezzino Café in Beverly Hills." reports E. Horehand was said to have sported a dull flat

Jill Scott is Divorced?!?!?

2009-01-11T13:33:00.023-05:00

I emerged from my cave this morning to find that singer Jill Scott, one of my favorite women, is divorced! And pregnant, and engaged! And George W. Bush is a drunk, evil puppet!How did I miss all this? I had imagined her happily married. Was I so busy indulging my preoccupation with Horehand that I missed the news? In any case, I wish Jill and her family all the best. For George, I wish a trial.

The Curious Case of Bride Wars

2009-01-11T07:38:00.062-05:00

I loved Anne Hathaway's performance in Rachel Getting Married. But seeing an ad on Myspace for her new movie, Bride Wars, made my skin crawl. Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway bump and bat at each other in a contrived way; pausing as if to pose for a photo together. I was embarrassed for them.Simultaneous to the ad campaign, dire warnings were issued around the world. "Working under the guise of a '

When Clothes Attack Horehand

2009-01-07T17:00:00.013-05:00

Click here for Horehand's fashion disaster on Monday. She lunched in a flannel shirt, unhappily paired with leggings. Horrors!

Brad, Angelina, Jennifer: Dastardly "Uncool"

2009-01-07T13:39:00.050-05:00

Jennifer Aniston consistently discloses the tiresome minutiae of her life, then complains about public scrutiny. This does little to heighten her allure.First she cried "uncool" to Vogue about her ex Brad Pitt and his cheat partner Angelina Jolie. Brad and/or Angelina were reportedly "pissed."Then Aniston bitched about Vogue "going tabloid," whored again on Oprah and whined about alleged

Lohan Breakup: It's Over (Special Lohan Series, Part 6)

2009-01-05T22:18:00.031-05:00

Horehand has moved out, and is moving on. No more stolen drinks kisses, back alley brawls, or trashed hotel rooms. They're finished, broken up, done. Or so say some reports.Where do broken Hores hearts go? How do they find their way home? Will Sam stop dressing like a 10-year-old skate punk? Will her fee plummet without Horehand at her side? Will she finally learn how to smile? Wishing them all

No One Cares About Mann Coulter

2009-01-05T20:00:00.025-05:00

Mann Coulter has reportedly trashed Michele Obama in her new "book." REALLY? She's so predictable, I barely took notice.Coulter attempts to shock and offend, for she craves the almighty dollar. Dammit, if I were that skank smart, I'd rule the world!Her shilling on the Today show, originally scheduled for Thursday, has been cancelled.The nonprofit Media Matters for America protested Coulter's NBC

Pepaw Bush Has High Hopes for Jeb

2009-01-04T17:43:00.016-05:00

Head of the Bush Crime Family President H.W. Bush today revealed his hope that son Jeb will continue the dynasty eventually ascend to the Presidency. Yea!The elder Bush also reports he spoke with Barack Obama soon after the election and "assured him that he was my president." No word on whether Obama expressed relief.

Death in the Travolta Family

2009-01-04T09:21:00.079-05:00

Jett Travolta, 16-year-old son of actors John Travolta and Kelly Preston, died Friday. I would guess the pain resulting from the loss of their child may be nearly unbearable.The Travoltas were often accused of hiding or denying their teens alleged disability. Some have speculated that Jett suffered from untreated autism. How would they know? Because some stranger who claims to have approached

On "Milk" the Movie or, Was Mickey Rourke Right?

2009-01-03T22:50:00.003-05:00

I saw Milk this week. Gus Van Sant (Drugstore Cowboy, Good Will Hunting) directed the movie, which was released in October 2008. It's an exploration of activist Harvey Milk in the last years of his life. Actor Sean Penn portrays Mr. Milk (May 22, 1930 - November 27, 1978), who is widely cited as the first openly gay politician voted into office.Elected to the San Francisco Board of Supervisors in

Lindsay Lohan New Year's Eve: What Happened at Mansion? (Special Lohan Series, Part 5)

2009-01-03T10:43:00.052-05:00

It was a very Horehand occasion when cracktress Lindsay Lohan and disc jockey girlfriend Samantha Ronson were in Miami for New Year's. They hosted a party at club Mansion.Sadly, fists rained down on the celebration. Violence broke out in the club, spilled into the alley, and continued elsewhere. The perpetrators, Lohan and Ronson, physically attacked one another but were not apprehended. No one

Winehouse's Whore Rats Her Out

2008-12-28T10:50:00.044-05:00

The rat who nested in Amy Winehouse's crack hive is out and spilling secrets. It's not pretty.I'm no fan, but this kind of betrayal is as cheap and nasty as poor John Travolta's wig.Reports abound that The Crackie of Camden, sadly overrated and relentlessly hyped, is now clean and sober and on the road to recovery. Here's video from last week's Caribbean holiday.She must have put down the pipe

Lance Smarmstrong Expecting Fourth Child

2008-12-23T22:21:00.017-05:00

I love babies! Lance Smarmstrong,Tour De France Non-Cheater and girlfriend Tory Burch Ashley Olsen Kate Hudson Anna Hansen are reportedly expecting a baby together, due in June.We'll wait.... Don't you know Sheryl Crow is going to be all torn up?

Hey Kids! New Movie From Adam Pandler!

2008-12-23T14:51:00.025-05:00

Adam Pandler's new movie will be in some lucky all towns on Christmas day. Bedtime Stories, though not yet released, is already getting panned! You're surprised, right?Though he tries hard, seems nice and never gives up, Adam Pandler is still not funny. Watch your wallet!

Kid Rawk Loves Dead Animals

2008-12-22T20:50:00.030-05:00

Kid Vomit, faux musician ("All Summer Long"), prolific mug shot model, just loves fur."I want to go to war with PETA," he said recently. "My biggest extravagance is fur coats - I've got every kind of animal in my wardrobe."You do that, Kid Vomit. Take on PETA. Are you trawling for publicity?Poor Kid Rawk. I just want to take him home and give him a hot bath with lots of steel wool and plenty of

Madonna Christmas Kiboshed

2008-12-20T21:21:00.041-05:00

Vadge's Christmas plans have been thwarted by her ex, Guy Ritchie, who forbade her to stay at his Wiltshire estate during Christmas. Reportedly Madonna had hoped to recreate a festive family scene (complete with brown rice, bean sprouts, and fake British accent), for the sake of the children.There were rumors she'd be accompanied by Jesus or Alex on holiday; also, no doubt, for the sake of the

Mayor Gavin Newsom

2008-12-18T21:17:00.020-05:00

It has been a while since I've seen San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom. Oh, my Lord. Teeth so white! Hair so dark!Newsom was on Maddow tonight. And now that I've learned a little more about Pastor Rick Warren (of the famed Saddlecrack Churches) and his abominable, wrongheaded views about lgbt Americans, I'm feeling riled.I'm saddened and a bit ticked that Barack Obama couldn't find a better place

Saddlecrack Pastor Picked

2008-12-18T11:26:00.022-05:00

It was announced this week that Rick Warren, pastor of the famed Saddlecrack Churches of Southern California, will give the invocation on January 20th for Barack Obama's Inauguration. Warren is author of the bestselling Purpose Driven Life.Everywhere I turn, people I respect are expressing disgust, disappointment and outrage.What do you think?Cross posted at BlueNC.

Paltrow and Her Music Thief Feed Gossip

2008-12-17T11:35:00.028-05:00

Gweneth Paltrow and accused plagiarist Chris Martin (of the yawn-inducing band Coldplay) are attracting some attention this week.It seems everywhere I turn, they or their peeps are feeding gossip mills by denying rumors of a troubled marriage.Wishing them all the best, we'll wait....