With that said, it’s time for...

WHAT MOVIE(S) DO YOU (AND FRIENDS) QUOTE THE MOST?

Individually, I probably quote Swingers, Reservoir Dogs, and Pulp Fiction more than any other movies out there.  That’s not to say that I can’t keep up with other people and their geekery.  Hell, I can quote almost every Monty Python movie ever made and I’ve probably seen most of them maybe once if that.  My sister and I can quote any John Hughes movie from start to finish, especially The Breakfast Club and Sixteen Candles.  When I am hanging out with friends, we can all quote The Princess Bride, Ghostbusters and Tommy Boy.  I am sure there are many many many more that I quote but uh yeah, in every day life?  Swingers generally wins!

Now it’s your turn…what movies and/or television shows do you quote the most?

Jumping Through Water Fountain Kisses,
Me

Yes seriously, for some wonkadiddle reason, my paycheck did not get put into my account and so this day started out with a fabulously lame bang.  I’m broke and have pretty much no food in my house so yanno, awesomesauce.  However, let me find you the silver lining here:  working for a friend insures that your boss is going to do everything in his power to make sure this gets resolved way more quickly than it would in a big corporate situation.  Also?  He’ll float you an advance until the situation gets fixed.  So, while I’m mildly upset that I can’t pay my bills on time today and all that jazz, things will work themselves out like they always do.  You see how zen I can be?  Whaaaat?

Update: Apparently there is a delay with direct deposits at my bank?  WTF?  So now I wait?  Zen, stay zen. I said fucking stay zen, dammit!  Ahem.

2.)  You’ll notice me taking my maiden name back out for a spin in the title of this blog entry even though legally, I still have my married name.  I’m trying really hard not to be frustrated about how long this divorce process is taking due to the fact that my ex still has to file something that neither of us are sure about.  He’s apparently been extremely busy with work so he just hasn’t gotten around to doing whatever necessary thing needs to be done in order for our divorce to be finalized.  I have to be honest…yesterday I had a whole argument with him in my head about how he wasn’t “too busy to do this” and “too busy to do that” because let’s face it, he could have squeezed in time to fill out that paper in between work, especially since he has had time for games, friends and that girl.  However, as I found myself getting really worked up about it, I literally stood there and said, “You know what?  This is one of the reasons you’re no longer married.  You should expect this so move on, get over it and let’s just take it from here”. Wham bam, all the frustration and anger left me with one huge breath and I was proud of myself for *deciding* not to point out the flaws in his logic and to just find peace in a frustrating situation.  I have no idea why I am so gung ho for this thing to be finalized…maybe because it is just time.  Maybe because I will feel less guilty dating once I’m legally divorced.  Of course, it will be nice for the people that pay me to not have to ask me “Jones or Carnes?” every other week.

3.)  Up until this last week, I was writing on three blogs which yes, were all my own.  Last week, I took down Snackie TeeVee and although I am not taking down Pudge-Free, I don’t know if I will be writing there any longer.  The teevee blog was a no brainer as I’ve seriously cut back on the television shows I watch this season and honestly don’t feel like writing about them every single day.  It’s hard enough to find time to watch them all.  This season alone, I’ve stopped watching the following shows: Nip/Tuck, Monk, The Amazing Race, CSI:NY, Numb3rs, Bothers & Sisters, 90210, Heroes, and Project Runway. I may watch some of these shows over the summer (Monk) however I am completely okay with only filling my DVR with stuff that I absolutely love.  Shoot, I’m about to pare the list down again!  As for the weight loss blog, that’s another thing that I don’t talk about full-time.  Anyway, for some reason, I always felt like I had to segregate the annoying parts of me to their own little blogs.  Uh, no.  If I want to talk about teevee here one day, I totally will.  If I want to talk about my weight loss once a month (or even once a week), I totally will.  Speaking of weight loss, I’ve lost 5 pounds in the last month which is AMAZING considering I ate like a pig when the Halloween visitors were here and then ate pure crap while I was sick for two weeks as well.

4.) Several of my friends are attending a funeral this morning for a man who was too young and vibrant to die.  I only met him twice but each time, he was so witty and full of life that it actually made me tear up when I heard of his passing away.  He was in his prime, had just lost a ton of weight and was living this amazingly healthy new lifestyle that made him really happy.  He also was in love with his young son and wife and honestly seemed like one of those people that was grateful for all his life had to offer him.  And then bam, like that he’s gone.  While many people would take this opportunity to remember how precious life is and how we should live it to the fullest, I’m suddenly disturbed by the number of people sucking air who are still alive while this man had to die.  I know it sounds terrible and mean but there are people out there who just exist to be miserable and yet, they live.  It frustrates me and saddens me and makes me wish I was a better person right now but hey, I guess we all deal with this stuff the best way we know how to.  I’m sure there is a part of me that wants to remind you to hold on to what you’ve got but I think you know that already, right?

5.)  I don’t know if any of these bullets were any indication but uh, my new goal these days is to try to be less angry about things and find a way to look at the bright side.  I recently was tooling around the blogosphere and my inbox when I realized that there are a lot of angry people out there.  My heck, people can take the smallest things and make them these huge balls of poison by the time they are done.  While I’m sure there are things that should totally piss me off, I’m really trying to find a more zen approach towards those things in an effort to be a kinder, gentler Hilly.  The last time I said that I was done with people’s drama situations, I actually meant it.  Woah!  I haven’t been in the middle of anyone’s crap for quite some time and I absolutely love the peace I’m finding with that decision.  It’s amazing how much you can ignore when you really intend to do so.

6.) I am still sick.  Yes, two weeks of the Pork Chop Flu and I’m still coughing like a smoking sailor!  I have no idea what kind of funk this is but seriously, he needs to pack it up and leave mah body!  I need to get back to kissing and training for my 5K and hanging out with friends and uh, getting drunk or something!  Anyway, at least now my fever is gone and I can go out and do some things as long as they aren’t too strenuous.  I don’t feel like coughing so hard that I tinkle my panties when I am out in public…nay nay, I like to save that activity for the home, of course.  In any case, if my post is a bit rambly or confusing or I use the same adjective three times in a row?  I really apologize but my head is still super duper foggy and stuff.

Bullety McListypants Kisses,
Me

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”, I’d chant, as if even at eight years old, I were the most emotionally healthy person on the planet.  Of course, I’d then stick out my tongue, pull up my skirt and shake my “Wednesday panties” at them but still, for one portion of a moment, I had it right.  I’m not sure why but this was the one thing my parents told me that I chose to believe for a very long time.  Of course, it probably had everything to do with the fact that I was a chubby little girl with thick glasses and really needed all of the internal ammo that I could get.  People could fling their nasty commentary my way all they wanted and I would be fine until the day that someone started lunging rocks and big sticks at my pretty little pony-tailed head.

Or so I thought…

It’s amazing what a strong person can endure, isn’t it?  As I grew up and found a way to truly not let people’s cruel words hurt me, I was still constantly wounded by sticks and stones.  I mean really, as life progressed forward and the world became an increasingly more messed up place, words never seemed to be enough for some people.  I’d sit back and watch groups of people lounging about on the terrace of their glass houses, effortlessly throwing boulders at people who were seemingly less protected.  At one point in my life, I actually became the victim of a virtual “lynch mob” and watched my world burn to the ground as people who once claimed to be friends lined up to hurl sticks at my body, just waiting for the moment it crumbled and bled.

You see, many moons ago I was part of another online community called LiveJournal and holy crap, if you think that your current nook of the blogosphere is dramalicious?  It’s got nothing on the heyday of LiveJournal.  Anyway, while a part of this community, I soared to the limelight by simply being mostly myself.  This was my first time blogging and I didn’t know that I didn’t need to make my life sound better than it was in order for people to like me.  When I blogged about my feelings, those were always real but when I blogged about my surroundings, I tried way too hard to make my life seem less like the crap heap that it was, mostly by pretending that everything was just fine and dandy.  While blogging in this community, I fell hard for a boy and in that falling, I drowned and lost my way.  I did deplorable things all in the “name of love” because I felt that I was meant to be with him.  The thing that sucked about this relationship?  It was public and everyone that was friends with both of us felt as if it were their right to become emotionally invested in something that had absolutely nothing to do with them.  I don’t want to go into too many details because I don’t want to take away from the point of this post but I will say this…when it ended?  Um yeah, it ended so destructively that lines were drawn, sides were taken and people who had previously called themselves my best friends?  Well they lined up to lynch mob me with their sticks and stones before even asking me my side of the whole damned situation.

Before I go on, let me freely admit that I had done some really terribly messed up things but again, these things were between me and the person I was dating and really wasn’t anyone else’s business. And yet, when they pulled out the stake and lit the bonfire, I was the first to strap myself into that fucker as if it were the most exciting and newest ride at Disneyland.  I willingly went with my head down, ready to be crucified.  Ready to be burned at the stake.  Ready to do whatever it took to make these people like me again and stop talking about me as if I were some nobody that they hadn’t just said “I love you” to weeks earlier.  They fancied themselves victims of my “crimes” even though what they really were was gossip mongering whores, ready to jump on the next bandwagon…as long as it increased their own popularity.

That’s the thing about people who simply play the “victims”…they always need someone dying in their names.  They need someone to punish.  They don’t want to look at their part in anything lest they see the ugliness that rests deep down in their souls.  Let me ask you this…what kind of a person kicks someone else when they are down?  What kind of light shines within someone when they can throw sticks and stones at another without checking their own backyard first?   And most importantly, why do we feel like we have to bow down and let these sorts of people have any say-so over us when we have messed up and wronged another?

As I mentioned yesterday, it is one thing to be humble and practice the art of humility but where do we draw that line?  When someone makes a mistake, I expect them to say that they are sorry and then make whatever strides they can to fix their actions.  Oh but let me clarify, that is if they have wronged ME.  Let’s pretend I have a friend that did something really screwed up to another friend of mine.  I may not be amused by it all and may express my concern and disappointment but that is where it stops.  What happens between two other people is none of my business nor should I go getting upset over it in the first place.  Who am I to judge another person’s actions anyway?  Do you know how much fucked up shit I have done in my life?

People make mistakes.  It doesn’t mean they set out to hurt  you or destroy you…it just means that they are human and fallible.  I am so tired of seeing people shrinking down in a corner, allowing their mistakes to make them feel so small.  I did it for so long after my separation and you know what, it was a stupid thing to do.  Only people with victim mentaltiy will continue to make you pay for something over and over again when you’ve said sorry more times than you can count.  The funny thing though?  Most people who are still cowering from their wrongs are actually hiding from themselves more than anything else.  If you want someone else to truly forgive you, you’ve got to forgive yourself and move forward, right?

So to anyone that has them, I say go ahead and throw your sticks and your stones.  As a child, I was pretty sure that I could outrun any mean words that anyone could throw my way but that I was way too slow not to get hit with rocks.  As an adult?  The things you throw at me, whatever they are, keep on bouncing off and even if you get through enough to bruise me?  Bruises heal too.

Back To Work Kisses,
Me

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Unconditional love.

2. What is your greatest fear?
Fear itself. Honestly, I don’t get it. I’m brave and strong and will face just about anything that comes my way but anxiety eats me up inside almost every day of my life and I have no idea how to stop that.

3. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Evita Peron because you know, I’m the Queen.

4. Which living person do you most admire?
My father. He’s the best man I know.

5. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
My tendency to self-sabotage when things get “boring” rather than looking for healthy creative outlets to satiate that ennui.

6. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Cowardice, because it leads to so many other negative traits and causes people to do shitty things.

7. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Humility. It’s one thing to be truly humbled by the kindness of others yet it’s another to let your shame humble you to the depths of feeling small and unworthy. People often mix these things up and that’s where self-loathing starts.

8. What is your greatest extravagance?
My hair products. Yes, really.

9. On what occasion do you lie?
This is a tricky one. I want to say “never” here, mostly because lying is such a huge burden. I totally cannot even remember what I talked about yesterday and I also respect my friends so I generally tend to not lie at all. However, it would be a lie for me to say that I never ever ever lie cause uh, I have and I will again.  If I do it, it’s to spare feelings or keep someone’s secret, mostly.

10. What do you dislike most about your appearance?
My weight, obviously. I don’t dislike anything else about my appearance at all. Wow, ego much?

11. When and where were you happiest?
My wedding day was the happiest day I’ve had so far.

12. What is your greatest regret?
I try to live without regrets however, we all have things that we wish could have gone differently or that never happened in the first place. My greatest regret would have to be the fact that we couldn’t fix our marriage even though I know that I am where I am supposed to be right now. I think most divorced people feel this way.

13. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My family and my friends are my great loves. Oh, and Jinkies!

14. What is your current state of mind?
It’s like a bunch of squeeing with a side of smitten, carry the one, add the two and then ahhhh, happiness and peace (you know, once the sick fog leaves!)

15. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Picking myself up every time I’ve fallen down.

16. What is your most treasured possession?
Well, either my Dodge Charger or my cat, Jinkies.

17. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Prostitution, both literally and figuratively.

18. Where would you like to live?
Amalfi Coast, Italy or Marin County, California.

19. What is your favorite occupation?
If I could choose an occupation for myself, it would be a psychologist. I love analyzing people and situations and I try to help people whenever I can by talking them through their issues. It would be nice to get paid for this, you know?

20. What do you most value in your friends?
Acceptance, loyalty, honesty and the ability to not always take life so seriously.

21. Who are your favorite writers?
I’m a fan of the classics – Steinbeck, Charlotte Bronte, Austen, etc.

22. Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
Sherlock Holmes…I mean, he’s sort of a hero, right?

23. Who are your heroes in real life?
I don’t think I specifically believe in modern day heroes because we are ALL capable of heroism.

24. What are your favorite names?
Jacob or Zachary for a boy. Emma or Isabelle for a girl.

25. What is it that you most dislike?
Weakness. Cruelty. Blackened hearts. Selfishness.

26. How would you like to die?
In my sleep after having lived an amazing and fulfilling life.

27. What is your motto?
Live and let live.

Finally Starting To Climb Back To Being On The Mend Kisses,
Me

With that said, it’s time for...

HOW OLD IS YOUR OLDEST FRIENDSHIP?

Now then, you may be thinking, “Hey sweetpants, you might want to lay off the Nyquil because your intro and your question make no damned sense!”.  Ahhh, but they do!  You see, the Veronica Mars theme song, by the Dandy Warhols goes a little something like. “A long time ago, we used to be friends but I haven’t thought of you lately at all” and so on and so on.  Anydoodle, listening to that theme song had me pondering the length of my friendships and how, sadly, most of my really really great friendships are all about 5-7 years old.  You see, I’ve mentioned this before but I really haven’t kept in touch with many people from my high school and I was either drunk or on drugs through most of college so yanno, real winners there.  Basically, most of my best friendships are the ones that I formed in late adulthood.  However, with that said, I do have a couple of friends that I have known forever and ever, it seems.  I have a friend Scott who I have known since I was 14 years old and another friend Kris who I have known since I was about 16 years old . So my oldest friendship is…24 years old.  Holy crap, I’m old enough to have a friendship that freaking old?  Anyway,  I don’t talk to either of them every day but you bet your sweet ass if I needed them badly, I could pick up the phone and call them as if I had spoken to them yesterday.  They are my oldest friends and have known me through so many phases of my life and yet they somehow still stick around!

How about you?  How many years long is your oldest friendship and do you tend to have more friends that you’ve made in somewhat recent years or are you one of those people who still knows everyone from your high school and college days?

Logan Echolls Pwns Ducan Kane Kisses,
Me

Anydoodle, I’ve been wondering why I don’t take this approach more often in life.  Obviously, being super sick is sort of like this grand “time out” because you don’t have to deal with reality as much as usual but still, while sick, I let almost everything roll off my back and seriously don’t care about the petty shit.  If you knew me in real life, you’d know that I maybe sorta kinda totally tend to obsess over the little things even though I get over the big ones quite quickly.

Wednesday night, I had to cancel my birthday plans because I was coughing up my right lung and you know what?  It didn’t make me cry.  As a matter of fact, despite the fever and all that other crud, my birthday was amazingly awesome!  Some people have asked, “Well what did you DO to make it so great?” and I say, “nothing”.  Realistically, I changed my outlook when I woke up in the morning and became grateful for every little word or kindness that was uttered my way on that day.  I sat bundled up on my couch as all of my birthday greetings, emails and comments came pouring in and with each one, I smiled and said, “awww, what a rockstar!”.  I read all of the lovely birthday posts that people made for me and even teared up at a couple of them.  I received amazing gifts in the mail as well as some zooma zooma gift cards by email.  My boss and friend, Adam, drove 20 miles to my house to bring me cold pills, juice, soup, cat food, ice cream and some cupcakes (plus he hasn’t given me shit about the fact that I haven’t worked at all this week, really)!  My friends kept texting not only to say “Happy Birthday!” but also to ask how I was feeling and to let me know they’d take care of me if I needed it.  While my flu worsened, my heart burst open wider than it had in some time because I realized, without a doubt, that I am loved.

I am a girl who has been sitting here chugging Robitussin while wearing pantyliners, hair all piled in a ponytail, nose red from tissue, eyes glassed over and sick breath that even makes Jinkies run away.  And yet, I feel beautiful on the inside.  I feel this beacon of peace and inner beauty washing through me and I have no idea from whence it came.  Right now, I should be hating life but I wake up each day, cough for like an hour or two, take some more meds, then smile that secret smile that shows I know exactly how to make life carry on as normal despite the roadblocks.

When my ex husband sent me a text message the other day, to say Happy Birthday, it didn’t wreck me.  This was the first time that I received any communication from him that didn’t send me into a nervous/sad tailspin.  I jovially made small talk with him for a few seconds, deleted the text messages, then walked away to live out the rest of my day without wallowing in a sea of regret or sadness.  Dudes, that has to count for something, right?  I mean, people have been telling me, “one day, it will be easier” but I never believed them until now.  I knew he wouldn’t forget the date and he didn’t.  I didn’t know that his would be just another voice in a sea of many but it was.

When someone emailed me yesterday to ask why so-and-so was bickering with another so-and-so about something I care nothing about, I just shrugged and said, “who knows?”.   When another person did some sort of weird passive-aggressive crap in an email, I just shook my head, deleted it and moved on.  When someone “jokingly” told me that I was being annoying on Twitter because I kept talking about being sick?  I closed the chat box and walked away.

My point it this:  I’m starting to find the silver lining in everything again and it feels great.  I used to totally be all Pollyanna and I have no idea what happened to that version of me.  Maybe she got lost on her wedding day or maybe she escaped into the television along with two years of my life.  In either case, I’d like to thank the makers of Tylenol Cold PM and Benadryl for truly making me not give a fuck for a few days.  I’ll tell you what…if I can gain perspective here, on my “death bed”, then anyone can gain it at any time.  All anyone has to do is try.

Oh and also?  Total non-seqitur here but uh, I was nominated for “Best Personal Blog” by the Orlando Sentinel!  Can you believe it?  Because I am up against some of my favorite local people, I’m not going to launch a full scale campaign to get you to vote for me.  I mean, if you like my blog and want to vote for me?  You can clicky that little button on my left sidebar and do so.  I won’t be mad.  Promise!  Anyway, it really was sort or shocking and awesome just to see myself nominated, to be honest.  I don’t think I see this blog the way other people see this blog.  I’m just little old me, writing about my nonsensical life and all that goes with it.  Of course, maybe that is what people like?

Veronica Mars Kisses,
Me

Cats and kittens, welcome to Thunderdome! Or, as a non-crazy person would say, welcome to Hilly’s 38th Birthday Celebration! How are we celebrating? Well, you’re probably not so really this post isn’t fair to you but yanno, it is MY birthday! Um anydoodle, I thought I’d include you all in the celebration as best I could by sharing this day with you here on my blog. Oh how I wish that we could all be together in a huge room filled with food, booze and enough chairs so that no one would have to stand up all night long. I also wish that each and every one of you could know just how much you helped me get through the last year of my life and just how very much that means to me. I’m blessed to have people like you who love me, support me and make me laugh even in the darkest of times. But hey, let’s not make this all mushy and gushy, huh? How about since I’m wishing this and that, I actually tell you some of my birthday wishes?…

Hilly’s Birthday Wishes

1.) I wish that Ryan Reynolds would dump that stupid girl he’s married to and get with all of this.  I know he secretly dreams of me so why in the world is he so shy about letting the world know of his deep feeling Hilly fascination?

1a.) I wish that love truly finds me again and that I am not afraid of it when it does.  I’ve already opened up my heart so much and I just want to cast out any fear that may stand in my way of loving Mister Right when he knocks at my door.

2.) I wish that my boss would give me a 5K bonus just because I am so funny.  Seriously, every time he laughs at one of my jokes, I think he should pay me some fucking dividends, yo!

2a.) I wish that I continue to find power in my self-sufficiency yet also discover new ways to make more money and stop living like a freaking pauper.

3.) I wish that all of the jeans in my closet would magically fit no matter what size I am.  It seems perfectly reasonable to want all 27 pairs to be wearable right right now!

3a.) I wish for continued success with my weight loss efforts and that I let those successes drive me and remind me of just how amazing I really am.

4 .)   I wish that cupcakes would literally start falling out of the sky and into my front yard.  Of course, the happiness would only last a marginally short time until I started worrying that cupcakes signified Armageddon so um, wait…let me rethink this one.

4a.) I wish for the strength to remember that good things don’t usually grow on trees and that I have to work for them…and that the rewards are usually very much worth it.

5.) I wish that I could just wiggle my nose like that Bewitched chick and be wherever I want, whenever I want.  I dream for the distance not to matter when it comes to friendship or matters of the heart and the only way to make that happen is with some fucking magical powers, obviously!

5a.)  I wish to travel more this year and to see people that I love as often as possible.

GRAND POOBAH WISH: Oh yeah right, like I am going to tell you and risk it not coming true!  I will say this though…it all ties in with love, both the kind I give myself and the kind someone else gives me.  For now, that is all you need to know!

Birthday Cake  Kisses!
Me

Two hours after arriving home, every little bit of my heart was swollen with love, friendship and this elusive little firefly that I’d previously been unable to catch.  So many things had finally come together and the cloud of ominous dust that seemed to constantly block the the view of who I really and truly am?  Dissipated more quickly than I ever expected it to.  So I went on Twitter and said this:

You know the funny thing about that?  Generally, I don’t like to claim happiness as my own because I’m constantly afraid that admitting to bliss will cause a huge life jinx to come my way and take away every ounce of smiles that I have left inside of my pocket.  Isn’t that the most completely irrational thing you’ve ever heard?  Why am I so scared to admit to all of the good things in my heart for fear that karma, God, mother nature, Abe Vigoda or whomever will take them all way simply because I made not only the announcement but also the decision to let my light shine?  What in the bloody crackers is wrong with me?  Have I lived with my pain for so long that I forgot that I used to always be this super duper happy and positive person whose brightness lit up the night sky?  I’ll tell you one thing…this happiness is not fleeting nor will I allow it to be.  The great thing is that I’ve found peace and love because of myself, not because of outside sources.  I think that the “outside sources” seem to be flocking to me more and more these days because I’m putting off this loving and happy vibe, not the other way around.  So, there’s that.

Oddly enough, a few hours after making the decision that “shoe dropping” was something I’d no longer fear, my throat started to close up and my chest hurt so badly that I could hardly breathe.  Within a matter of hours, I went from someone doing the skippity-lala down her very own fantasy brick road to someone who felt like the sick bully came, punched her in the face then stole her glasses and her lunch money!  At some point in time last night, my fever reached 101.8 and I found myself begrudgingly stepping into a cold/lukewarm shower while contemplating ways to make a voodoo doll to use on whomever it was that got me sick.  The stinking problem with that plan?  I have no idea how I got sick!  Which reminds me…isn’t it funny how people always say, “Oh no!  How did you get sick?!?!” when you announce to the world that you feel like death on toast?  I’m not making fun of anyone because uh, I do it to but really?  Who the hell knows exactly who or what made them sick?  Could it be the man I’ve locked lips with?  Sure.  Could it be Clown, who was all sicktastic when I saw him last Monday?  Why not?  Could it be that I was amongst hundreds of germ-bringers (kids) as we went trickotreaty with the Britt famdam the other night?  Most likely!  Did someone on the walking trail breathe the wrong way?  Maybe.  In any case, I have no idea “why” I have the death plague, just that I want it to please go away now, thanks.  If I miss my two birthday parties this week because of some non-swine flu/cold?  I will cut a bitch.

Anydoodle, I think I’ve told you about the emotional gamut of my weekend because this morning I was finding it interesting that people are way more likely to ask “why” when something bad happens but when something good happens, they just smile and say that they are happy for you.  Few people, except those that you are the closest to, will sit you down and say, “Why are you so happy?  What’s that all about?”.  However, when you are sick or miserable or sad or angry, everyone wants to know all of the gory details, myself included.  I think I’m going to start asking more people about their content moments just as I would quiz them about their anguish.  Of course, I’m the first one to say, “I don’t know…I just am” when someone asks me but you know what?  It’s still lovely to be asked.

Now then, if you’ll excuse me, my discombobulated ass needs to get back to the couch where I will enjoy the methodical destruction of my Tivo’s “Now Playing” list.

Theraflu, Ice Cream and Soup (Oh My!) Kisses,
Me

Ummm yeah, anyway…I was having a discussion with a friend of mine about the fact that we use the same words and tell the same stories over and over again. We started picking apart each others’ vocabulary then moved on to talk about this dude that we know and how he over-uses incorrect phrases like, “for all intensive purposes” and “you have to throw the baby in the bath water”. After that, my head started reeling and I started thinking about all of the things that I say and that my friends say and well…here we are.

With that said, it’s time for...

WHAT WORDS AND PHRASES DO YOU “OVERUSE”?

1.) “Dude“ – Let’s just get this one out of the way right now…I say “dude” a fuckton.  Also, “dude” is not to be confused with “dood!”. There are two totally different ways of saying that word and I could explain it to you but then you’d look at me as if I had two heads. Um, if you’re not already.

2.) “Ummmm, yeah“ – I say this when I am about to explain why something or someone is fucked up. “Ummmm, yeah…if he thinks I give a fuck about that, he is sorely mistaken.”

3.) “Really?” - You know the tone…it’s that sarcastic voice saying it as if to ask, “are you fucking kidding me?”.

4.) “Seriously?” – See above plus….imagine Grey’s Anatomy and every iteration of the word used therein.

5.) “Fucking Whatever Dude” – When I am really frustrated and feel hurt and/or backed into a corner but am TRYING hard to let shit go? Yeah.

6.) “I Know, Right?/Right?” – I use “Right?” as a shortened way to say, “I know, right?”.    I overuse both of those phrases. Seriously.

7.) “Totally” – Let’s face it, it’s hard to take the California out of the girl. I use “Totally” as a stand-alone word more than as a preceding adjective but still, I use it a lot!

8.) “Anydoodle” - We all know what this one means, heh.

9.) “Amazing” – This is my adjective of choice. Everything that is extremely awesome is “amazing”.

10.) “Whore” - The other day on Facebook, I asked people to come up with synonyms for the word “whore” because I use the word way too much. Oddly, I don’t use it when talking about people I think are really sluts and skanks. It’s more a term of endearment than anything else. Also, few people realize that if I call them a “fucker” or a “bitch”, it’s also not a slam against them. I usually go right for the “cunt” or “dick ass” when I’m truly pissed off.

11.) “Ding-dang it!” – This is the preferred way of faux swearing while at work or around kids. Some others include “fudgehog”, “fudge monkey” or “holy schmoley!”.

12.) “Here’s the thing/Here’s the deal…” – I start most of my rants and/or stories this way.

13.) “Nemesis/Nemeses” – Some of you have asked if I really have nemeses. The answer to this is…sorta. I have one (in my head, anyway) but I love saying the word so much that I’ve totally made a mountain out of the molehill of suck that this person is!

14.) “Douche” – I had to add this in later after both Britt and Avitable both reminded me of the fact that I say “douche” and all of its iterations (i.e. douchetard, doucheface, douchebag, douchepop) more than pretty much every other word on this list!

I’m sure I have more but I’m bored with writing now. It’s a lovely day and I’m off to spend it with a huge smile on my face!

Three Days Left Kisses,
Me

For some reason, this mashup makes me Hilly Happypants!  I love that whole positive feeling that comes from singing happy songs, especially since I had spent way too much time singing sad ones over the last six months.  I’m happy; this song is happy; Friday is happy!

Right, I know, someone get me some fucking mellowing pills or something.  Blahsy blah.

Anydoodle, what song makes you happy today?  And if not a song, tell me about what it is that’s making you smile!

Show Me Yours Kisses,
Me