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Retro

Fri, 09 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0700

My Dad has been digitizing some of our old family albums and uploading them to Flickr, making feature videos, being one of those creative types. When I came across this photo I exclaimed to SML, “This seems important!” I think it might be how brilliantly white my hair is, or the fact that my ribbed t-shirt is so colorful, but either way all I can think when I see this photo is, “BEHOLD: THE BEGINNING OF MY EXCELLENT STYLE.”

How didn’t I become the next Andy Warhol?

But since we’re looking back, why don’t we talk about that move to Boston? Last summer? When SML was going to go back to school, something along the lines of a Ph.D?

It never happened.

INTERNET: It was a confusing period of time because I don’t think either of us really knew what we wanted to do, where to live, or who to be. It’s not our fault; these things happen. Long story short, SML accepted a job with a publishing company and I went to work for a technology incubator, and...it works.

It feels good to get that off my chest. This blog may now continue!

From Central Park

Mon, 05 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0700

SML and I took a brief trip to New York City this weekend in an attempt to salvage what's left of our New York Attitude. Visiting the Guggenheim was likely not the best way to preserve any of my New York anger. If I had been feeling more masochistic I would have plastered myself against the expensive store windows of Prada, wondering if my stomach would look any less like cottage cheese in a $500 shirt.

I would certainly feel special in a $500 shirt...but I honestly think I would prefer to buy 500 bagels, toasted, with plain cream cheese than fork over a fortune for a shirt that would force me to learn how to iron.

Say what now?

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0700

Remember when I moved to Boston? There was like a tornado blowing in behind me? And then I suddenly lost all contact with the world?

That was pretty funny.

Leaving The Empire

Sat, 04 Jun 2011 00:00:00 -0600

I left New York on this past Wednesday, an adventure I’ll not soon forget as I keep having nightmares of rogue Realtors and landlords who keep changing their story. When I moved into Manhattan I was expecting a lot of scary things, things like cockroaches, rats and the occasional Statue of Liberty impersonator. Moving back to Boston I was expecting fresh, crisp air and friendly people interested in the common good. And lots of cream pie.

Instead of roses, sunshine and blessings, I was quickly brought back to the realities of Boston a month before the move when I had the fortune of explaining how long it should take to sign a lease and return a phone call to a rental agent. Unfortunately this also brought out the realities of my chemical imbalance, an imbalance that generally only manifests itself during extreme stress and shows itself as a roaring growl and the occasional and sometimes frequent profanity.

Subsequent to that conversation, SML and I began the long process of finding a new place to live followed by five Realtors and I can’t count the number of bus trips. Things quickly got worse as the rental market dried up, got good again for a moment and then suddenly got even worse after we lost a bidding war until finally, finally, we found a place worthy of two cats and an important green chair.

A lightning storm and a rather large tornado greeted us on our move back into Massachusetts, an omen that we should probably heed and likely won’t. We’ve shed blood, angry words and letters and threw money at our problems; and if we’ve come this far, I don’t see why a little wind and rain, or even a tornado should stop us now.

I took the above picture from the Highline Park in Chelsea just before we left New York. It was a seemingly perfect day, besides a light drizzle, and it reminds me of just how much I’ll miss that city; if not for the people, but for the view.

Eternal Happiness

Sat, 21 May 2011 00:00:00 -0600

During the past couple of days SML and I have been stalking this theatre trying to win lottery tickets to the Book of Mormon musical. I’ve been writing things like, “Pick Me!” and “Possum!” on the back of my entry tickets to give me an edge, but so far the results of this exercise have been dismal. I stopped breathing for a moment when they called out “Kenneth!....” and then sank my head when they followed up with a “CLARK”. What kind of name is Kenneth Clark anyway.

I listened to about half of this soundtrack on NPR when it was available a week or so ago. By far my most favorite song was “Sal Tlay Ka Siti” - a Ugandan convert dreaming of a Utopian city in faraway Ooh-tah. I think a lyric actually states, “Where all the people there are open minded...” I joke, of course, because I actually miss Salt Lake City. And not just because they have vitamin injections by the case.

Barcelona

Fri, 20 May 2011 00:00:00 -0600

My list of accomplishments this year will read in this order: Went to Barcelona. Yelled at a stranger who totally deserved it. Escaped New York City.

It’s been about a month since my trip to Barcelona, which is absolutely going to be my most favorite memory of the year, just ahead of that night in Brooklyn I ate a pig’s tail and SML ran into a wall. I only spent two nights in the city before heading north through France, and I really should have pushed to stay another night, or at the very least had my own pitcher of Sangria.

This picture was taken from Güell Park overlooking the city and in the very far distance you can see the Mediterranean Sea. My heart skips a little when I look at this picture because the evening I took this picture, I had walked the entire distance from the seashore to the top of this hill. Something is wrong with me.

LOVE

Mon, 14 Feb 2011 00:00:00 -0700

Philadelphia is a mere two-hour bus ride from New York City, so I booked tickets for this last weekend and spent a morning creating an itinerary. That itinerary included stops to the Betsy Ross Home, Independence Hall, the Liberty Bell, Constitution Hall...it was a lot like a school field trip except that I ended the night in a pub filled with bobble heads.

I should really say that my night started with bobble heads, because later that night I took SML to a restaurant I had read good things about and only had two dollar signs, indicating the price aligned with a poor-man’s budget. Because it was Valentine’s Day Weekend the menu was prixe fixe and included things like Oysters, undercooked meat and the most delicious Gnocchi I have ever tasted for fifty-five dollars.

SML spent the evening dining on bread and turning purple while I tried my first ever oyster. I happen to like seafood so the meal wasn’t exactly wasted, but I did feel the need to run out and buy a wardrobe of stretchy pants to accommodate the extra food.

February 5 on the 5th

Sat, 05 Feb 2011 00:00:00 -0700

This winter has been like all other winters in recent memory, cold and dreary, not at all like what it would be if I lived in Florida or someplace that isn’t breaking snowfall records. I knew that this day would be particularly painful when the weather advisory warned of freezing rain and my horoscope opined that purchasing frivolous things would not bring me happiness. Just what am I supposed to do, NOT buy that beautiful $70.00 iPad case to replace my “just okay” case?

5 on the 5th’s theme this month is “Reflections”, but I skipped past that because I wanted to share these pictures of the Rose Art Installation on Park Avenue. I took these pictures early this morning, sheltering myself under a large umbrella and bitching to SML about how the freezing rain was not very ideal for picture taking.

I really like these sculptures, and at 25 feet tall in some instances you really do feel like Alice in Wonderland. And if I know Alice, and I don’t, she wouldn’t like the freezing rain either.

I resolve

Mon, 03 Jan 2011 00:00:00 -0700

When I think of 2010 I can’t really say for certain whether it was the worst year of my life, or if it just made my list of top ten worst years. The year wasn’t all bad, but I did almost break down crying on Madison Avenue once, in front of stores like Ralph Lauren and Chanel. And I passed out at a doctor’s office, which I suppose in hindsight could have been much worse: I could have passed out earlier that morning at the dollar store on 8th Avenue, shopping for Statue of Liberty figurines.

Last year I didn’t post any resolutions, but I really only had one: Run 440 miles. I almost got there with 397.85 miles; which means that in December, instead of drinking an entire bottle of wine I should have been running.

And that brings me to this year’s resolutions:

Write an iPhone application. This is more or less also a work project, but I think it qualifies as a personal project because I don’t have to do it.

Travel Internationally. To Spain, preferably. I’m a little obsessed with this actually, and I’m not exactly sure why. I think it might have something to do with Michelle Obama.

Run 600 miles. WHAT. I know, that’s 160 miles more than my last goal that I didn’t meet. But I could have exceeded that last goal if I hadn’t slacked off for the last three months eating Cheetos with my cat.

Begin tracking my fitness progress publicly. This one will be the hardest I think, but probably the one I need to do the most. I’ve been wanting to get into really great shape for the longest time and publicly shaming myself might do the trick.

And I think that will do it. I’m not very ambitious. If I were, I’d probably resolve to cook-in five days a week or exercise every morning, or become someone like Dr. Oz.

This is unrelated, but I went on a tour of Dr. Oz’s set yesterday, and did you know that he runs 5 miles a day AND performs heart surgery? AND tapes two shows a day three times a week AND tapes a radio show AND heads the Department of Surgery at Columbia? WTF.

Smile! Act Happy!

Fri, 31 Dec 2010 00:00:00 -0700

SML and I spent the Holiday in Utah this year, as we do on most years, and split up our time between families. If you were like me, trying to travel through John F. Kennedy after the snowstorm, take yourself out right now for a beverage infused with Bourbon. I’m not exactly sure how many times I cursed, out loud at least, but it took great restraint not to hurl a string of obscenities at just about anyone who came near me. Especially skinny blond men. They antagonize me.

This picture was taken of my family on Christmas Eve, just after dinner and while my mother was screaming at the kids to, “SMILE!” and “ACT HAPPY!” I think that caused the adults to laugh and the kids to be even more defiant.

Now. I’m not going to say I miss Utah. But I miss my family.