tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252232290758460470Sat, 05 Oct 2024 01:59:50 +00004th of JulyCasual FridayFraggle RockJabberwockyJealousyManthonyMichael MooreNoticeObamaRCRGSAMSATCSasquatchSolsticeThe EsqToastWhole PaycheckWiiFitangry lettersbday wish listbest week everbig big questionbirthdaybloggerblogger choice awardsbrandbumbershootcameroncareer possibilitiescleaning musicdalai lamafirst blogfitnessflower pot theatregamesgardengoodbye julepguest bloghaikuhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifinsignificantiron manjamie lynnkidskitty nummerslabiamagicmassive linkagemiddle schoolmission statementsmorning personmy eventual demise in kansasno-fat refried attitude beansshit advertisingshmokin'shroomsstreet urchinten pachitriple doorx-fileshttp://h0rk.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.com (Snotty McSnotterson)Blogger293125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252232290758460470.post-968302007765322889Thu, 05 Feb 2009 02:39:00 +00002009-02-04T18:47:15.744-08:00I'm not coming back. It's not me, it's you. Incidentally, I've found someone new, even though we haven't been intimate yet because he respects our relationship and where it's going. UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE. His name is Wordpress, and we're so in love!You can reach my new blog through my website URL: www.sn0tty.comOr through my Wordpress URL: sn0tty.wordpress.comBye, Blogger--and thanks for all http://h0rk.blogspot.com/2009/02/dear-john.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Snotty McSnotterson)4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252232290758460470.post-3374002923340320166Tue, 03 Feb 2009 16:16:00 +00002009-02-03T09:47:46.538-08:00I'm getting a little tired of writing "Oh em gee! Congratulations on your engagement! I'm so happy for you two!" on everybody's Facebook pages. I'm not being uncharitable. I'm just being a bitch.Yesterday, my friend Carly got engaged--ohemgee! congrats! so happy!--and she is the TWELFTH PERSON I know who's been asked The Big One this past year. That's twelve happy couples, most of them http://h0rk.blogspot.com/2009/02/fine-line-between-happy-and-bitter.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Snotty McSnotterson)18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252232290758460470.post-2926060701529932465Sun, 01 Feb 2009 20:26:00 +00002009-02-01T14:04:42.814-08:00It's always the people I hate the most that come back to this blog, time and time again. Oh, not YOU... but, you know, The Others. The uber-devout with their unkind, not-very-Christian emails; the narrow-minded gay-bashers, who reveal to me their Doomsday prophecies of Hell and Damnation (where I'm headed, too, apparently); the bigoted conservatives who scream about Obama the Muslim, Obama the http://h0rk.blogspot.com/2009/02/electricity-or-pies-or-rainbows-or.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Snotty McSnotterson)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252232290758460470.post-2043775319913334272Sat, 31 Jan 2009 18:38:00 +00002009-01-31T10:45:50.052-08:00(I'm selling these and another pair on Craig's List right now--but since the other ones are on the teal side of the color spectrum, and somewhat *blingy*, I couldn't bring myself to admit publicly that I'd bought them.)Entitled: ***Are You An Orc? Or Perhaps Half-Giant?***Are you related to Hagrid from the Harry Potter series? Were your ancestors jolly, green, or giant in any way? Are http://h0rk.blogspot.com/2009/01/my-craigs-list-ad.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Snotty McSnotterson)16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252232290758460470.post-4226155380889457243Sat, 31 Jan 2009 00:29:00 +00002009-01-30T16:36:26.435-08:00The only difference on my chart would be a combined button of Bed and Ice Cream.http://h0rk.blogspot.com/2009/01/story-of-my-life.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Snotty McSnotterson)10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252232290758460470.post-1891810834998258574Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:17:00 +00002009-01-30T10:00:14.047-08:00This is a horror story.The Esq and I are self-described font snobs, and actually quite proud of it. I'm the worst kind of snob, the kind that expects better choices from the people around me, but the Esq has higher standards without being a total dick. Me, I'll point at your Times New Roman effort and laugh in your face. I'll do it loudly, and without remorse--if anything, YOU'RE offending ME.http://h0rk.blogspot.com/2009/01/science-of-sweet.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Snotty McSnotterson)35tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252232290758460470.post-4260748436361175996Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:05:00 +00002009-01-30T08:13:52.747-08:00Everything looks better with Dolce & Gabbana; it's a proven fact. 5-7 days and these newbies are MINE ALL MINE. (Thanks to my parents for the Christmas gift!)http://h0rk.blogspot.com/2009/01/new-specs.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Snotty McSnotterson)12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252232290758460470.post-8084327546771782113Thu, 29 Jan 2009 17:32:00 +00002009-01-31T16:33:14.079-08:001. Who cares about the Native Americans? The Esq and I had a long conversation about this the other day, and if a Native American tribe dwindled down to nothing (as so many of them do), would you even know? Would you care? There's a major conundrum around how they live versus how the world works. Where are the role models? Sherman Alexie can't be the only one. I'm slightly concerned and http://h0rk.blogspot.com/2009/01/three.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Snotty McSnotterson)30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252232290758460470.post-3521630163206254919Wed, 28 Jan 2009 15:28:00 +00002009-01-28T08:58:35.618-08:00I volunteered yesterday at my favorite space travel supply company, and ran into a conundrum: the kid I was working with was totally working me. I've tutored Cameron before, and he's delightfully unfocused due to Asperger's Syndrome. I enjoy talking with him, even if I never get to do any of the talking. Because he doesn't recognize a lot of social cues, he just steamrolls right over anythinghttp://h0rk.blogspot.com/2009/01/dungeons-dragons-charlie-sheen.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Snotty McSnotterson)11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252232290758460470.post-9099815713648670783Tue, 27 Jan 2009 18:50:00 +00002009-01-28T14:33:58.557-08:00This blurry photo has been brought to you by the letter B (for bangs!), and my happy new hair.KJ and I headed out to West Seattle to get our hair done by my friend, Michele, pictured here. She and I used to work together at another West Seattle salon that shall remain nameless (sorry, I'm only plugging Michele today), but only for a week. We stayed in touch off and on, and finally hung out lasthttp://h0rk.blogspot.com/2009/01/so-totally-bangin.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Snotty McSnotterson)26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252232290758460470.post-5197987036261964194Sun, 25 Jan 2009 19:30:00 +00002009-01-26T08:22:56.341-08:00Miss America 2009 was on a couple of nights ago; we stopped to watch a couple of the girls do their 'thing', whatever that entailed. None of them impressed me (I say that like any of them ever have), and during the Evening Gown competition - also known as THE GLITTERY TRAIN TO NOWHERE - one fun-lovin' contestant said something like:Blah blah blah beauty - skin deep - blah blah what's in your http://h0rk.blogspot.com/2009/01/world-peace.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Snotty McSnotterson)12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252232290758460470.post-4856888373730923154Thu, 22 Jan 2009 15:55:00 +00002009-01-22T18:45:29.402-08:00Aiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiai!Inauguration Day was inspiring, yet underwhelming. I'm sure the people in Washington D.C. were pooping their pants with political joy, but television and online coverage was boring, not to mention faulty. Not once did CNN's 'live feed' actually work, so I missed most of the speech, but I'm sure my neighbors were equally entertained by my gratuitous use of the word 'http://h0rk.blogspot.com/2009/01/eight-years-all-i-got-was-this-lousy-t.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Snotty McSnotterson)17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252232290758460470.post-4491037413434707251Tue, 20 Jan 2009 23:12:00 +00002009-01-20T21:20:55.793-08:00We officially have a new President, woopwoop.Photo c/o Graham Whitby Boot; more Inauguration Day scenes in Lego, here.http://h0rk.blogspot.com/2009/01/obama-to-america-grow-up.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Snotty McSnotterson)6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252232290758460470.post-4030615780988396578Tue, 20 Jan 2009 16:12:00 +00002009-01-20T08:59:03.046-08:00It's here! It's here! It's here! It's here! Today, Dubya is gone, baby, gone. I can't believe today is today--and I can't believe my level of excitement propelled me out of bed at the crack of dawn this morning, just so I could do a happy little jig in my underwear and shoot ten thousand professional fireworks into the sky.Josh came over this weekend, and brought his new Acer Netbook with http://h0rk.blogspot.com/2009/01/new-beginnings-old-soil.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Snotty McSnotterson)15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252232290758460470.post-4524590819162005699Mon, 19 Jan 2009 17:06:00 +00002009-01-19T15:57:25.981-08:00"How long? Not long."I woke up with a bright, annoying light in my eye this morning; I dove under the covers for another hour or so, hoping it would go away. When I finally emerged, I realized the annoying light was the sun, and that it was--OH MY GOD--shining. Through my bedroom window. In the middle of winter. I don't exactly know where these warm rays of happiness came from, but I assume http://h0rk.blogspot.com/2009/01/no-lie-can-live-forever.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Snotty McSnotterson)10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252232290758460470.post-4722849906573857802Sun, 18 Jan 2009 16:30:00 +00002009-01-19T15:38:14.073-08:00Photo: This is the shoe section of Mariah Carey's gratuitous closet; I can only imagine how many rooms she has for her teeny-tiny whoreshorts and her itsy-bitsy hookertops. This is not the closet of my dreams, but at least it's organized (BY HER STAFF).The word 'negro' was hurled at me in one of the comments I deleted; my neighbor and I laughed about that for a long time. Well, he was http://h0rk.blogspot.com/2009/01/closets-promises.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Snotty McSnotterson)12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252232290758460470.post-22331128670042078Sat, 17 Jan 2009 16:54:00 +00002009-01-17T14:20:21.844-08:00It saddens me to say this; I never thought I would live to see this day. But Jon Stewart, America's most beloved Jew, has officially run out of jokes.Thank you, Jon, for boring me to tears every single day since November 5, 2008. Two seconds after Barack Obama was elected into office, The Daily Show ran into a problem, and that problem was relevancy. It's easy to make fun of Dubya 'cause he's http://h0rk.blogspot.com/2009/01/fake-news-takes-beating.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Snotty McSnotterson)17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252232290758460470.post-646228538165222192Fri, 16 Jan 2009 18:24:00 +00002009-01-16T11:09:12.608-08:00It looks like a well-timed bomb--made of clothes, food wrappers, and dirty dishes--went off in my house. I'm determined to figure out the culprit of this mess, but should get my stuff out of the way first before pointing the finger at the Esq. I need to put clothes on and clean up a little before my friend gets here in two minutes (to help me wade through the mire), so enjoy this video while I http://h0rk.blogspot.com/2009/01/this-mess-were-in.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Snotty McSnotterson)10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252232290758460470.post-549375637953953325Wed, 14 Jan 2009 23:38:00 +00002009-01-15T11:39:06.286-08:00Hard to forget when people keep making shockingly distasteful commemorative cakes about it. I have to admit, I laughed when I saw this photo--a nervous, oh-the-fucking-horror kind of giggle, the one I used upon hearing my first *good* 9/11 joke, which was seen on Arrested Development.As seen on the Slog; chapeau to Manthony for the tip.http://h0rk.blogspot.com/2009/01/never-forget.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Snotty McSnotterson)20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252232290758460470.post-6679204888980371388Wed, 14 Jan 2009 17:28:00 +00002009-01-17T13:27:16.910-08:00Photo: This photo ganked from Smitten Kitchen; my cakes didn't fall in the oven, but her photos turned out better. Hrmf.David Beckham* demands, almost on a daily basis, that I bake him delicious treats; he would also like to find the bottom of a whiskey barrel, but that isn't good for his eye-blisteringly hot body. So today, I found the perfect medium: whiskey cake!Yes, whiskey cake: two items http://h0rk.blogspot.com/2009/01/honey-cake-euphemism.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Snotty McSnotterson)17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252232290758460470.post-5091776626002462609Mon, 12 Jan 2009 22:28:00 +00002009-01-12T15:58:51.085-08:00I'm getting tired of the gray weather, and it's only Day Four out of four fucking thousand, or however many hundreds of days our state is the color of old age. It never used to bother me, because I rather liked being depressed: it always made for better poetry, something reminiscent of that vomiting loved-up word jockey, Danielle Steel. The kind that gets made into a book called The Bridges of http://h0rk.blogspot.com/2009/01/living-with-david-beckham.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Snotty McSnotterson)18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252232290758460470.post-2453827003078925646Sat, 10 Jan 2009 01:14:00 +00002009-01-12T19:46:45.135-08:00I'm kind of totally loving Marko's post about boredom today; sometimes, I know exactly how he feels. It's like the perfect blog post: sad, self-depracating, honest, funny, short and sweet. Go check it out and cheer him up with a story you heard on Oprah. People love it when you do that; it's heartwarming and educational, which everybody enjoys! I wish people would do it more, actually: I http://h0rk.blogspot.com/2009/01/worship-of-false-gods.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Snotty McSnotterson)18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252232290758460470.post-8332984875794046767Fri, 09 Jan 2009 22:54:00 +00002009-01-09T14:56:30.233-08:00"Jesus" rocks.Found this on The Daily Dish.http://h0rk.blogspot.com/2009/01/bananas-anyone.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Snotty McSnotterson)6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252232290758460470.post-8709956108522735051Fri, 09 Jan 2009 22:30:00 +00002009-01-09T14:44:09.202-08:00Skeletor: (drunk) Out of all the abortions I've had, she was my favorite.Snotty: I'm sorry?Skeletor: What are you sorry for? Shit happens.Snotty: I wasn't--did you just say out of all the--Skeletor: (interrupting)--well yeah!Snotty: Out of all the WHAT you've had?Skeletor: Abor--oh! DIVORCES.Snotty: That was beautiful, what just happened here.Skeletor: Divorce ain't beautiful, http://h0rk.blogspot.com/2009/01/convo-blame-earwax.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Snotty McSnotterson)10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6252232290758460470.post-2260756997342790504Fri, 09 Jan 2009 19:23:00 +00002009-01-09T16:02:38.236-08:00Yesterday was a good day.Manthony and I hung out, and did what we do best: shrug, whatever. I like this about Manthony, because I never know where we'll end up. First we meandered around Seattle: checked out the Frye Museum, insulted some ugly children who were featured in an art installation, and lazily flipped through expensive magazines at the Barnes&Noble downtown. We ended up at http://h0rk.blogspot.com/2009/01/barrel-of-honky-fun.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Snotty McSnotterson)18