Sole Searching Mama

61 Minutes to a Miracle

2019-08-18T14:24:00.001-07:00

“When Jesus heard it he said, ‘This illness is not unto death;

it is for the glory of God, so that the

Son of God may be glorified by means of it.’ ”

John 11:4, The Story of Lazarus

Seven years ago, I met Bonnie Engstrom for the very first time. As an avid reader of her blog, A Knotted Life, I felt as though I already knew her. We happened to bump into each other in the ladies room at the Omni hotel in Austin, Texas, host to the Edel Gathering of which both of us were attending.

Just shy of four weeks since giving birth to our sixth son, I staggered into the ladies room, diaper bag and baby tow, sweating that post-partum hormonal fluctuation sweat that makes the fun of being dressed up for a special occasion not so fun.

But, to my delight, Bonnie was there. She was a beautiful, familiar face, and I instantly felt at ease in her company, my discomfort and insecurities melting away with the Texas heat. When she asked to borrow my lipstick, I didn't hesitate for a second, because I knew that she was the kind of person who would lend me her lipstick and her right arm if I asked her.

After that providential meeting at Edel, our virtual friendship became a real one, and I have continued to follow Bonnie's extraordinary ordinary life with great affection and gratitude, as she has made a sincere difference in my life as a wife, mother and Catholic.

It's been five years since we swapped lipstick and stories. And today, with the biggest smile on my face, I am sitting in our school room typing an invitation to all of you to get to know the Bonnie that I know, not only through her blog, and shining social media posts, but through her most recent accomplishment, the publication of 61 Minutes to a Miracle.

(Pre-order here)

I was giddy with excitement when Bonnie forwarded me a copy of her book to read and share with others. As I turned the last page of one of the most amazing stories I've ever read, removing my wet-with-tears glasses, I turned to my husband, Steve, and said, "It doesn't matter what religion you profess, we all need this story. I mean we NEED this story."

Bonnie and Travis Engstrom's son, James, was born without a pulse. He remained that way for 61 minutes - not seconds - minutes. Today he is a healthy, thriving, active eight year old! Bonnie, Travis, and a host of others prayed fervently during those 61 minutes, imploring the intercession of Venerable Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen. (To intercede is to pray to God the Father for another on their behalf.)

Their prayers were answered! It is to Cardinal Sheen that James' miracle is attributed, and for God's great glory that we as Christians may know of this miracle, and that our faith be strengthened by it.

It seemed obvious to us that when God brought James back to life,

he had done so in such a way that James’s body would not only survive, but also thrive.

We poured out praise and thanksgiving to God, of course, but we were also so grateful

for all the friends, family, and strangers who had interceded for our son,

the first and foremost Fulton Sheen.

- 61 Minutes to a Miracle, p. 87

I cannot encourage you enough to purchase and read 61 Minutes to a Miracle, to share it with others, to give it as a gift, to read it to your families, and to ponder, along with me, the power of prayer, of the Body of Christ, and of the family of saints we have in Heaven waiting to intercede for each and every one of us each and every day.

Would you like to know more about Venerable Fulton J. Sheen? Consider:

His cause for canonization website
Reading one of his 66 (!!!) books
Watching "Life is worth Living" on YouTube

Want to know more about the process of declaring someone a saint? Check out:

How Does Someone Become a Saint: A 5 Step Process

There's No Such Thing as a Bad Boy - Infusing the Language of Virtue Into Conversations With Our Kids

2019-04-15T15:19:00.000-07:00

Several years ago our family watched the movie, Boys Town, which has since become a family favorite! When I heard Fr. Flannagan proclaim, "There is no such thing as a bad boy!" it struck a chord deep within me.

One of the ways we come to know who we are in this world is through the words that others around us speak to us, be they people of influence or mere acquaintances. Our self-esteem and self-confidence have the potential to be affected and formed by both criticism and compliments, praises and put-downs.

And, while I cannot control the words that others choose to communicate to my children, I can choose to be thoughtful and selective when it comes to the words that I speak to my children, words that I pray will help form their identity as children of God, as sons of a Father who delights in them, who is merciful with them, who has given them special and specific gifts to fulfill all the plans He has for their lives.

What an honor it is to have the opportunity to help form these precious souls! Knowing who we are in the eyes of God and how to navigate this incredibly challenging, yet glorious life he has given us is not an easy task! As a mother, the words I speak into the hearts of my children matter!

Let's just take a quick T.O. Parenting is hard, no? And we fail, yes? There's ideals and then there's reality. We can't live the ideal bubble, because that's dumb. But we can't settle for mediocrity either because that's dumber. (Grammar police, shhhhh.) I've got a lot of tally marks in the "Shinnies, I failed again" column. But we struggle on. Struggle on with me! We're called to be great parents. Not good parents, great parents. With God's grace we can be great together.

Moving on...

Children need guidance, formation and help knowing what noble and lasting goods to strive for, and how to identify those things which might keep them from rising up to the heights that they are called to (i.e. sin and temptation). Virtue is our tool to teach them that.

Fr. Flannagan's inspiration prompted me to ask the Lord for a way to change the conversation in my home so that the daily exchanges Steve and I have with our sons could become more formative in nature, but not too complex so as hinder the goal for them to be made habitual or natural.

A series of revelations led me to dig into virtues.

A virtue is a habitual and firm disposition to do the good. It allows the person not only to perform good acts, but to give the best of himself.

Human virtues are firm attitudes, stable dispositions, and habitual perfections of intellect and will that govern our actions, order our passions, and guide our conduct according to reason and faith. They make possible ease, self-mastery, and joy in leading a morally good life.

The virtuous person is he who freely practices the good. So when we teach our children about virtue and encourage them to be virtuous, we are offering them the opportunity to obtain lasting peace and freedom!

I soon found that I could use the ordinary circumstances of everyday life to speak to the boys in a specific way about virtue, to encourage them to strive for virtue, and to ask God for the grace to become more virtuous for His glory.

Virtue allows specificity. I love this mucho. Rather than saying you are good or you did well, because those terms are general and lack definition in a child's mind, you speak instead the distinct and expressive language of virtue with them.

Leading the conversation in this manner reflects to the children who they are in such a positive way - and it gives them a precise goal(s) to strive for when their desire is to overcome a weakness, sin, or negative habit or tendency.

These terms become a positive identity for them! The language of virtue naturally builds a child up in a healthy, non-superficial way. It allows room for growth by recognizing the child's shortcomings without shaming them, and offers specific guidance by which the child can set his or her heart and mind to for improvement.

In essence, for any of us, as we strive for and practice particular virtues, by God's grace, we not only obtain the virtues, but become them! They become who we are!

Conversations on virtue are applicable to all ages, though the intensity and complexity of the conversations have the potential to run deep with the older boys in our family as we discuss more serious issues related to sin, temptation and struggle.

An example of a simple way in which I might converse with our younger sons (ages 3-8) might be:

"Hi Joey! I saw that you put your plate away after lunch today. That was very generous and industrious of you. Great job!"

Or, if he is neglects his duty:

"Hey, Joey! I can see that you still need to clean your plate from the supper table. I know you have what it takes to be generous and attentive to your tasks. Please take care of this for me."

Even though the latter is corrective, both conversations are positive. Don't get me wrong. There are days when I'm not so smooth, and less that positive words spew out of my mouth.

Note that one of my offspring is always reliable at that very moment, there to recite the necessary virtues I'm neglecting.

I really love it when their hypocrisy detection genes sparkle. #soproud

With regards to our teenage sons, the virtue conversations build upon the foundational ones we laid when they were younger. Now we can really dig deeper into such virtues as self-control (chastity), perseverance (sports and academics), and justice (work, school, friendship), along with so many others.

One of the beautiful fruits that has been borne out of seeing our sons obtain particular virtues, is that I am able to use them as a springboard into conversation when they are a little off - struggling, or not acting like themselves.

For example, if one of the boys is being short-tempered or irritable with Steve and I or his siblings, I can say, "I can see that you are struggling today. It's not like you to act this way, because (this is the the key) you are a kind person. You are loving and generous and patient. That is who you are.

Without a doubt, every single time, our boys respond in a positive way to this. They are reminded of the good that lies within them, even though they may be feeling terrible, or frustrated, or even angry.

Remember, feelings pass, virtues stick. We don't want to shame our kids for their feelings. Shame suffocates, guilt guides. Guilt is healthy - it's a natural motivator to change or correct or resolve the current negative situation or behavior.

It's okay for our kids to feel guilty, it's not okay for them to feel ashamed of who they are.

I've learned so much over the past ten years of putting the virtue conversation into practice, that I cannot possibly share it all in one post. My long term goal is to write a book! (Laugh with me!) I'm not sure if that will ever come to fruition, but for now, I've created a few videos where I dive a little deeper into some of my favorite virtues, and how we speak them into the hearts of our kiddos here at home.

You can view the videos on my Instagram page (just click on the little camera icon above my photo in the right side bar!) beginning in the highlight section which is titled "To the Heights," and continuing in the IGTV link, both are on my bio page. I apologize for the lack of order in the videos. I'm not sure why Instagram scrambled them during the upload.

The virtues covered include:

1. Fortitude

2. Prudence

3. Justice

4. Temperance

5. Generosity

6. Patience

7. Humility

8. Industriousness

9. Attentiveness

10. Perseverance

11. Humility

12. Magnanimity

As a follow up to this post, I'll be sharing a few of my favorite books that I've leaned on and learned from along the parenting way. Books that have truly bolstered my motivation to craft positive virtue conversation in our home and to keep it going!

Please feel free to message me if you have any questions or personal experiences of speaking the language of virtue in your own home that you would like to share with me!

Virtue demands courage, constant effort,

and above all, help from on high.

- St. John Vianney

The Handshake

2018-12-09T16:27:00.003-08:00

This post was inspired by former president George H.W. Bush, a member of the Greatest Generation, who recently passed away. To me, he was an authentic example of the very masculine virtues of courage, commitment, loyalty, honor, compassion, and genuine leadership. I pray that his life has inspired a new generation of leaders to carry on his legacy.

"It's possible to tell things by a handshake.

I like the 'looking in the eye' syndrome. It conveys interest.

I like the firm, though not bone-crushing shake.

The bone crusher is trying too hard to 'macho it.'

The clammy or diffident handshake, fairly or unfairly, get me off to a
bad start with a person. - George. H. W. Bush

Last weekend our trucking company hosted it's annual Christmas party. This year we asked our two oldest sons, Benedict and Andrew, if they wanted to tag along, and to our surprise, they said yes. It was our hope that they would not only get to meet many of the amazing co-workers and employees, whom we work with, but also experience the joy of coming together for a meal to celebrate the blessings of the past year.

After a hearty steak dinner and some good ol' country swing dancing (yeah, we hired a DJ!), the evening slowly began to wind down. Little-by-little employees came to bid their good-byes, to offer gratitude to Steve for being a pretty great boss, and to wish us a Merry Christmas.

The parting conversation that really took us by surprise involved Ben and Andrew. Several men approached Steve and shared with him how impressed they were with the boys' handshake. You read that right. It wasn't their academic or athletic success or their handsome faces that made a strong impression (c'mon, it's a mama's right to say so!).

Nope, it was the handshake.

Most young men don't know how to shake another man's hand, or look him in the eye when introducing themselves. But your boys sure do.

And with that, we knew we'd been doing something right in this whole mission of raising men. Score one for grace and perseverance!

Around the age of five or six, Steve takes a bit of time with each of the boys to teach them a proper handshake, how to introduce themselves, and the importance of making eye-contact when they do so.

Last week, as Steve reeled in Charlie and Joseph from the Lego table for a refresher lesson, I decided to observe the master at work. In the past, I never really listened to Steve's instruction on this topic with the boys. But this time, as I slogged through a heaping sinkful of dirty dishes, I was completely enamored with their interaction:

Charlie, are you a son of God?
Yes, Dad.

Are you strong, courageous, and a boy of integrity?
Yes, Dad.

Well, when you meet someone for the first time, they don't know those things about you, they don't know who you are. But if you stand up straight, look them in the eye, and speak your name with confidence, they will know exactly who you are.
Okay, Dad!

I understood, right then and there, that a boy's handshake (and a man's for that matter), is not just a common formality. It's a powerful communicative experience of self, and of the other, for both the giver and the receiver.

Now, some of you may be saying, my boy is shy, I don't think it's fair to force him to shake hands. You're right, you shouldn't force him. We've got a couple of shy ones in our bunch, too. Shyness isn't looked upon with favor in our current culture, but it should not be shamed or dismissed.

I could write an entire post on the quiet, contemplative nature of my shy guys. They are beautifully made in the image and likeness of God, and I have learned mountains upon mountains about the complexity of the human person from them!

We teach and train our sons every day, giving them tools that we believe will help them as they grow into manhood. And we practice with them at home! Practice builds confidence, and confidence makes the moment of truth a little less intimidating.

Most of us have insecurities or weaknesses that can sometimes make social interactions uncomfortable. But I believe that, in certain moments, we are called to rise up out of those insecurities for a greater good. In this case, it's recognizing and acknowledging another person.

To give you an example of how we converse with the boys in matters of shyness, we gently remind them:
It's okay for you to feel shy! But, you will spend the rest of your life meeting new people, and we believe that you have what it takes to rise above your shyness, in that moment, and acknowledge the other person in a dignified way. You never know who you might meet! Don't miss the opportunity!

Boys are pretty basic. They don't always need flow charts, and field trips and crafts to communicate the simple lessons of life (trust me, I've tried all of the above, cue the sweat and tears). They just need someone with a little grit and conviction to take a minute to teach them the life lessons that are so easily overlooked. Lessons like a proper handshake.

"To build self-image, you need to join the smile, firm handshake,
and compliment club. -Zig Ziglar

The Things We Do (That We Said We'd Never Do) For Love: Beautycounter Beginnings

2018-02-26T10:01:00.000-08:00

Three short days after Steve and I professed our "I do's" I found myself on a tractor in the middle of a wheat field following the man God had woven into my heart with a wild sort of joy I couldn't explain.

I also couldn't explain how I ended up there - in that field - pulling a grain cart between combine and truck, except to quote Blaise Paschal, The heart has reasons of which reason knows nothing of!

Looking back on those honeymoon harvest days, I should have known that they would be a clear indication of the future, as being in love (a love that has only intensified over the years) often motivates us to do things we wouldn't normally do, things we don't plan to do, or even really want to do.

Fast forward 18 years and here I am, again, doing something so unplanned, so unexpected, so far out of my wheelhouse that even the boys are a little bit boggled by all of the baskets of the body wash and face cream laying around the house.

But love {and illness} are big motivators - and they're the reason I've decided to become a consultant for an amazing company called Beautycounter.

One of the contributors to Steve's struggle for good health has been his body's inability to detox efficiently. Toxins are all around us, and are often absorbed into the body through contact with the skin, by simply breathing, and of course through our diet.

While I had done a significant amount of work to clean up our diet, as well as our environmental toxins by choosing safer cleaning products and detergents, I hadn't really scrutinized the personal care products we were using as a family on our bodies.

To be honest, I felt like I couldn't manage one more thing. Why can't something in my life just be simple? I asked that very question aloud to a good friend one day, and she suggested I check into a company called Beautycounter.

Despite my skepticism and utter annoyance an having to sit in front of the computer in the late night hours to do more research (my Lyme/autoimmune people, you know what I'm talking about!), I decided to do the work anyway.

After reading about the company, and the strict safety standards Beautycounter follows when testing their products, I was hooked. Finally, a brand I could trust, and use with confidence, and NOT have to think about being safe for Steve, and really for the whole family. {Discover Beautycounter's Safety Promise for yourself!}

Why does it matter what I put on my skin?

It's estimated that our skin has the potential to absorb 60-70% of what it comes into contact with. Some chemicals are too big to pass through the upper layers of skin and into the blood stream, and other chemicals can be absorbed within as little as 20 seconds. It makes sense to me, then, that if God created pores on our skin to flush out toxins, then those same toxin-releasing pores can also absorb toxins. In essence, it really does matter what we put on our skin!

In my research, I was shocked to learn that the United States has not passed a federal law to regulate the ingredients in personal care products since 1938. This is astounding, considering there are over 10,000 chemicals being used in the personal care product industry today. Some of those we are putting on our skin every day. {Read more about that here.}

Over the past 20 years, the European Union has banned around 1,300 ingredients from use in personal care products. The United States? 30. 30!!!

Even personal care products with an "organic" label are not regulated. Some of the "natural" products I've used in the past contain ingredients that are harmful - and I had no idea - because the label convinced me that it was completely safe to use.

When I discovered that Beautycounter is a mission based company, whose goal is to get safer products into the hands of everyone, my interest was peaked. Their goal isn't just to create safe, high performing skin care - they also want to change the beauty industry.

Beautycounter consultants are working with congress to pass legislation that would regulate the chemicals that could be allowed in any personal skin care product.

What does that mean? It means that hopefully one day you and I will be able to pick up any of our favorite products off the shelf and not have to worry about whether or not they are safe for us and for our families to use.

I don't know about you, but I'm all about less worry, and more freedom! Until then, I can rest easy, knowing that Beautycounter has my back, and I have confidence knowing that they have one of the most rigorous standards for product screening in the industry,

prohibiting the use of over 1,500 potentially harmful ingredients

in all of their products.

Many of those potentially harmful ingredients have been linked to cancer, endocrine disorders, fertility issues, developmental concerns, and allergies. They have also been found to be present in the breastmilk of nursing mothers.

When I consider all of the skin care products I've used over the years while pregnant, I confess, at first I felt guilty, but then I felt angry. Why didn't I know? Why are these chemicals even allowed in my face soap and lotion?

This is why I've decided to join Beautycounter's mission to get safer products into the hands of everyone. Because, in caring for my husband through his sickness, I have first-hand experience with the effects chemicals can have on the body, and I know just how burdensome worrying about the health and safety of yourself and your family can be.

Beautycounter lifts this worry from my shoulders.

Would you like to know what's in the products you're currently using, and discover their safety rating? You can search them out on EWG's Skin Deep database. EWG also has an app, which is very handy for scanning everything from dish soap to toothpaste while shopping!

If you're curious about some of our products, here are a list of my

Five Favorites:

1. Countermatch Collection - Okay, so this is actually four products, but because they work together in an incredible way to hydrate, smooth, and improve skin tone, I consider them one heavy hitter! Perfect for all skin types, particularly combination skin.

2. Brightening Facial Oil - Seven pregnancies and lots of sun from years of running has left several dark pigmentation spots on my face. This oil, when combined with my morning and night time moisturizer, has evened my skin tone and lightened the spots, not to mention bumping up my moisturizing game, which I've really needed this winter.

3. Charcoal Bar - Charcoal is a wonderful detoxifying agent. If you struggle with an occasional break out, or if you have teens in the house with acne, this bar is a game changer!

4. Baby Balm - Tis the season for dry skin. Dry knuckles, chapped lips, and eczema patches have met their match. Baby balm is a wonder for all dry, irritated skin issues, and can be used for the whole family, not just babies! (View our wonderful baby line of products here.)

5. Tint Skin Foundation - I've never been a big fan of make-up, mostly because I don't care for the way it makes my skin feel. Beautycounter's Tint Skin is so light, I don't even feel like I'm wearing make-up. My skin stays hydrated throughout the day, and because the coverage is buildable, I can always dial up the coverage if I need to, without it feeling thick or cakey.

Thinking about making the switch to safer?

Consider your priorities. Is it skin care? Make up? Cleansers, lotions or sunscreen for the family? Beautycounter offers a variety of fantastic, high-performing yet safe skin care products for you and your family.

You can browse and/or shop my website at: beautycounter.com/susanhusband
Become a Band of Beauty Member - a free gift, product credits and more! {details here}
Share With Others & Earn Free Products by hosting a social (message me for details!)
Join My Team! {Consultant Details here}
Check out our current Clean Swap Campaign, and earn a deluxe sample for free!

If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me!
I can be reached at: suehusband07@gmail.com

Letting Go of What Was and Embracing What Is - An Update on Steve's Battle With Lyme

2018-02-05T06:42:00.000-08:00

{Many of you have kindly asked for an update on Steve's health. We are currently seeking the advice of a new doctor in Denver, and have just returned from Steve's first appointment, where he was given a thorough physical and had a number of labs drawn. We will have a follow up appointment in a couple of weeks. There are more details below.}

From the outside edges of Denver, my view of the city is a skyline wrapped in a jagged silhouette of broad, purple mountains. It seems as though I can almost feel them breathing - calm, strong, and steady. Fresh air fills my lungs, and as the cold nestles into the deepest corners of my soul, I am suddenly awake to the presence of God.  That is you, Lord, calm, strong, steady. Steady like the mountains.

I hold on to the image in my mind's eye, certain of the place where I will need to sit today - on the mountain of the Lord, who will be for me what I what I want to be for Steve and for our family.  Yes, He will be my calm, strong, and steady. And I trust Him.

In a couple of short hours we will walk through the doors of another doctor's office, hoping for something, I'm not sure we even know what anymore. Answers? Help? Healing? My expectations have been severed from certainty, for the two rarely go hand in hand. Four years and a dozen (plus some) doctors later can leave one feeling somewhat numb.

But, I must admit that if we left our babies at home to fly all this way, and all we got was some real kindness, compassion, and sincere understanding, maybe a fist-bump, followed by, I'm really sorry you're going through this, and I know it's hard, but don't give up, just don't give up, I'd be good with that. That's a mama's heart, ya know? It may not be medicine for Steve, but it would be for me. Selfishly.

I say that because sometimes I almost wish Steve's symptoms were more visible. People often say to me, He looks fine, and he doesn't look sick, and well, I saw him the other day, and he sure seemed good to me. When the comments are really a question, they feel like pin pricks filled with doubt.  Is he really sick?

I know that I speak for a lot of individuals out there, some of them good friends of mine, who also struggle with Lyme disease, all of its co-infections, and complications, when I say that what others see, isn't always what is.

Some days the pain and pressure inside the core of Steve's head leaves him staggering around the house looking for some kind of escape, because medication doesn't even begin to touch the pain. Other days, the muscle twitching that takes over his body provokes in him such uncontrollable anxiety that panic attacks ensue. Exhaustion, muscle weakness, and brain fog also challenge his ability to function each day. Those are just a handful of the physical, mental, and emotional setbacks he has to live with.

Setbacks that others don't see.

And yet he, like so many other Lyme sufferers, has made a decision for himself to press on, to function in the world even though he feels completely dysfunctional. To be honest, I don't know how he continues to work and to give so selflessly to our family. He is such a witness of generosity to me.

Nearly a year has passed since Steve's temporary relocation to Florida for treatment (more here and here). My recollection of those long months of our separation is fuzzy. When people ask me how we got through it, my reaction is always the same, grace upon grace. The only thing that is crystal clear in my memory is the incredible kindness so many people showed us. There was food delivery, babysitting, errand running, financial support, encouraging notes, thoughtful gifts and big, big hugs. I'll never, ever forget the generosity shown to us. It still brings me to tears.

During those months of Steve being away was like running a marathon, and as he began to improve, I felt the strength to keep running the race here at home for him and for the boys. The joy that came to me from knowing he was feeling relief from his symptoms was almost overwhelming. I was SO happy!

Unfortunately, the great strides Steve made during his time in Florida were short lived. About three weeks after being home, I noticed his symptoms began to return. At first they were slight, and very manageable, but as time went on, the frequency and severity increased. Before we knew it, he was right back where he started, walking in the same painful, frustrating shoes he was in prior to his treatment.

I don't think either one of us really wanted to acknowledge just how big and discouraging the setback really was. The very little we discussed of it stirred up so much frustration in both of us, I refused to talk about it anymore. Anger is toxic, and it only makes Steve's symptoms more intense. With Lyme, disappointment only leaves you with one choice, and that's to march forward with whatever bit of determination and resolution you have left to find a healing. So we march on. And pray.

If this disease has taught me anything, it's that we are not in control of our lives. Not even for a moment. I sometimes laugh at all of the headlines, tweets, and Facebook posts that start with, The Very Best Diet to Heal... or The Top Blah Blah Blah Everyone Should Be Doing Right Now, or If You're Not Doing XYZ, You're Never Going to Be Happy, Skinny, Healthy, Funny, Successful, Appreciated, or Loved.

Man those headlines sure have a way of making us feel like if we just plug in to a magical formula, everything will be a-okay. It's simply not true. Sometimes the circumstances of life throw you down into the trenches. Suddenly you find yourself in a place you really don't want to be. It's human nature to asses the situation, gather up our courage and all the best resources, and put together a plan to get out.

Yet, somewhere within the persistent effort of digging and climbing, you have to pause for a minute, and face the truth that you might be in this trench for a reason. The trench may be your life for a time. And if it is to be your life at this moment, then embrace it, live it. It isn't easy, but there's a special strength and peace that comes from letting go of the life you think you've lost, from loosening the grip on what you believe life should be, and just being present to the here and now.

It may sound counter-intuitive, almost like you're giving up, or giving in. But the opposite is actually true. It takes courage to think and to live this way, because it requires us to trust. It is anger and fear that keep us from moving forward, upward, and outward.

Trust provides the necessary conviction and grace for us to keep digging, fighting the good fight, and hoping for Steve to be healthy again. And until he does, or even if he never does, we will not have lost a thing, because we have chosen to live, right here, right now.

As we move forward, day-by-day, cautiously optimistic that the treatment offered to Steve by the doctor in Denver will be fruitful, we pray that the measures we are taking will restore him to greater health. Until then we live. Right here, right now, in this present moment. And, I am good with that.

My Interview With Thriving In the Trenches, and Why Modesty Means So Much to Me

2017-06-11T21:32:00.001-07:00

As the mother of three little boys and four young men, summertime is always a busy, yet very exciting season for our family. For me, personally, it's shuttling kids to baseball games, sports camps, running meals out to my hungry crew working in the field, and doubling down on purity talks with the oldest in our gang.

You read that right.

I have come to dread the fashion so typical of summer - short shorts, barely-there swim suits, high hemlines, etc., etc. I dread it because everywhere we go, I mean everywhere, including church (which saddens me greatly), I see my boys constantly having to avert their eyes. I sense their discomfort in the presence of any lady immodestly dressed, and my heart aches for them - for them, and for the girl.

I never gave much thought to the importance of modesty and fashion until I became a mom and came to understand, with great intensity, the importance of my duty to raise our sons in the way of purity and virtue.

Modest dress wasn't really a topic my parents had to discuss with me as a young person. Knee length shorts, flannels, and waist-high jeans were what everyone wore back in the day (virtual fist bump to all my 90's homies out there!). My mom and dad had more reason to be concerned about my choice of music and the obscene amount of hairspray I went through on a weekly basis, than they did about my choice of clothing. If you saw my bangs back then, you would understand.

So, when I was asked by Becky Carter and Megan Schrieber, the hosts and founders of the incredible podcast series, Thriving in the Trenches, if I would be willing to dialogue with them on the topic of modesty, I was both excited and hesitant.

Excited, because I truly enjoy writing and conversing with others on the topics relating to authentic masculinity and femininity, and how God has created us as men and women to be true expressions of his love and beauty in this world.

Hesitant, because I don't ever want my passions for, and expressions of the truth, to communicate a lack of sensitivity toward those who may not know that their choice of dress has a such strong impact upon the opposite sex.

Although the topic of modesty can cover a variety of facets, a few of which include modesty in speech and affection, I knew that Becky and Megan were hoping to dive into the arena of fashion, which can sometimes be a hefty topic, especially amongst mothers.

If you know me, you might be wondering why a mother with seven sons would even care to begin a dialog on modesty. The reason why I care is the very reason why I accepted Becky and Megan's invitation. I care about modesty, because I care about my sons. I care about their friends. I care about the girls whom they may one day have the privilege of dating and possibly even marrying.

I care about your girls. I care about you. I care about us.

I've written about modesty before, but as our sons are growing well into their teen and late-teen years, I'm becoming even more passionate about the topic. If you're thinking I can't possibly understand how terribly difficult and frustrating it is to find modest, yet fashionable clothing for a daughter since I don't have one of my own, you are right!

I cannot fully understand, but, I can empathize!

The other day I popped into a local boutique in search of a dress for my son's 8th grade graduation. To my great disappointment, I sifted through nearly a dozen racks before finding something that was longer than the tan line from my running shorts. Every option prior to the one I found left me wondering, is this a shirt or a dress??

Ladies, if the answer to hat question is, it's a dress, keep shopping.

I've conversed with so many mothers over the years whose shopping expeditions with their daughters require an adequate supply of chocolate, wine, and Hail Mary's. The struggle is more than real.

But I need you to keep struggling.

Please. Keep working, keep dealing with the eye-rolls and heavy sighs, the piles of ill-fitting garments on the dressing room floor, the non-stop marathon trek from store to store to store.

Why do I ask this of you? Because, in order for the boys in this world to become the kind of men your daughters need and deserve (not just in marriage, but in friendship, in work relationships, and in general every-day encounters), they need your help.

I need your help.

My husband and I take very seriously the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual formation of our sons. Every day involves some kind of conversation with regards to the greatness - yes, the greatness of their calling as men to honor and uphold the dignity of every woman they meet. This is why neither belching at the table, nor form-tackling a girl for the last bite of brownie is ever appropriate (not that they do that, but they might if they had a sister).

I can go on and on about the beauty and wonder of a girl, how she is truly a masterpiece, made in the image and likeness of God, I can fill our son's minds with the highest theological truths of God's design for men and women, their complimentary roles, and what the role of man is in relation to woman, but none of it - I mean none of it will anchor into their souls unless the girls they meet represent that truth to them.

As women, we cannot speak beauty and truth into the hearts of men if our words and our actions, noble though they may be, are overshadowed by the cry for attention that comes from immodest dress. This is not meant to be a shaming or a criticism! I'm a daughter, I'm a woman, too. I speak this message to myself as well, and I share these points with a heart of love and encouragement!

Just as girls should never be criticized or marginalized for their emotional and sensitive tendencies (those are gifts!), neither should men be looked down upon for being visually attracted to women. God has placed this instinct in man's nature for a purpose, and though it is one that must be reigned by prudence and self-control, it has the potential to serve a wonderful purpose in healthy, respectful relationships.

This is where modest dress comes into play. The mystery of modest dress not only shows respect and consideration for our brothers in Christ, but it also offers them the opportunity, or better yet, the challenge to get to know a woman. Men love a challenge!

Guys don't need any help realizing how beautiful our bodies are. Lack of imagination is not one of their weaknesses. But they do need help seeing the beauty of our interior. If what we truly long for is for a man to appreciate both our external and interior beauty, it is important that our choice of clothing ultimately directs a man's attention to our interior.

I witnessed a wonderful representation of this very fact a few weeks ago at a high school graduation party. While juggling our one year old on my lap and casually picking out the baked beans he had so generously smeared in my hair, I saw our oldest two sons conversing with a charming group of young ladies. Each of them were modestly dressed in super-fun attire. Their faces glowed with goodness and joy.

While our sons may have experienced severe deodorant failure over being tongue tied in the presence of such loveliness, they were eventually able to relax and be themselves, able to make eye-contact and carry on conversation within the group. Because they weren't distracted by anyone's immodest dress, they could be attracted to their goodness!

It's truly incredible to think that a woman's beautiful, yet modest presence alone is enough to make a man stand taller, think sharper, work harder, and pray for a whit and humor that will attract us to him! I call that powerful! I call that freedom - when we simply trust in the sincere goodness and beauty that God has created within us with as women, we do not have to act in opposition to our nature by dressing inappropriately, in order to convince a man that we are worthy of his kindness and respect. We simply just have to be ourselves.

Man will not rise up to the excellence he is called to by God, if we continue to diminish his potential with our lack of attentiveness to our own call to true femininity. A world of ladies will spur on a world of gentlemen, and a world of gentlemen will give rise to a world of ladies.

Yesterday, I asked a wonderful friend of mine, a mother of teen girls, what she believes is the biggest hurdle for girls in understanding their personal dignity and how it relates to the way that they dress.

Her answer was simple: self image.

Her words are true. I don't think any girl has ever not questioned her self worth at one time or another. If girls do not feel good about who they are on the inside, they will naturally place a higher priority on the exterior image in order to achieve the sense of affirmation and attention they long for.

This is why I dearly long for girls to understand their personal sense of dignity, purpose, value and worth. Because when they do, the choice to dress modestly will come more naturally. They will find that they can trust their gifts, trust who they were made to be, and in the end see that they have a great ability to inspire the men of this world to also be who they are meant to be - providers and protectors of the lives and dignity of women, men who honor, uplift, support, and acknowledge the treasure of womanhood in this world.

I pray my boys will one day become such men.

{If you care to listen to the podcast, here is the link: Modesty as an Act of Charity }

For Our Andrew: A Letter From Your Mama's Heart in Honor of Your 8th Grade Graduation

2017-05-22T20:50:00.001-07:00

May 17, 2017

Dear Andrew,

Today the pace of our home has been alive with an energetic rhythm of both excitement and determination as we make preparations to celebrate your graduation. Despite the busy hum of our enthusiasm, the voice of the Holy Spirit has spoken into my distracted soul, reminding me to find some quiet time with the Lord before the close of the day. So, here I am, writing this letter to you in the presence of our Lord, at the adoration chapel on the eve of your 8th grade graduation. I have come to pray for many of our dear friends, family, and even strangers whose intentions I have promised to lift up, but I have come with greater intent to pray for you.

Over the past few days, with the realization that you have reached yet another milestone of life, my heart has been overwhelmed with feelings of both sadness and joy. Sadness, because I am coming to understand, with greater clarity, that I cannot slow time down, nor can I live in the memory of your littleness, even though I so often wish to. I do not expect you to understand this particular grief that every mother must endure, this loss of time with her children, and I only share it with you so that you may know how much you are loved. For it is as St. Gianna Beretta Molla said, "We cannot love without suffering, and we cannot suffer without love."

Intertwined with this grief is an immense joy that fills my soul as I contemplate, and fully acknowledge, the incredible young man you are becoming, and the great adventures you have yet to live in seeking out God's purpose for your life. How fresh and beautiful are the possiblitlities that lie within one's youth! Your father and I can only encourage you to seek, with every ounce of confidence and enthusiasm you can muster, the dreams and goals that reside in your heart!

As you journey through the next four years of high school many people will tell you that you can do anything, or be anything you want to do or want to be. Though they mean well, this is simply not true. You cannot do anything or be anything you want, because you were not created to do just anything, you were created to do something! Something particular, something special! You have been graced with a very specific set of gifts and talents, and those gifts were given to you so that you may fulfill a very specific purpose in this life. You are to become the person God has created you to be, and it is in the discovery of that person that you will find a true freedom and an everlasting joy.

This may sound like a narrow minded way of thinking, but rather, consider it to be a narrow focus. A focus which seeks the narrow path, a path that opens up into a vast and beautiful world of opportunity, of contentment, of joy, and above all the glorification of a good and gracious God who wishes to be known and to be made known.

In the years ahead, time and time again, you will also hear the words, "Be yourself," and "Believe in yourself." I have no doubt that you will be anything less than your funny, kind, generous, thoughtful, hard-working self. But, as for believing in yourself, remember that while self confidence is a vital component in our approach to success, it is a weak approach if not accompanied by an earnest belief in God at work within you.

When He is the very root of your goals and dreams, when you anchor your efforts and determination in Him, all things will come to fruition as they should. With this perspective, and through this act of faith, you will not only reap the fulfillment of hard won victories and personal accomplishments, but also the greater victory of a virtuous life...a life in which you come to understand and embrace the truth that the most enduring rewards are those that we obtain along the pathway to our goal, for they will far outlast the reward of reaching the goal itself.

Finally, my dear son, although you already have a firm and mature understanding of my last note of encouragement, I hope you don't mind if I share it once more. Academics, athletics, GPA's, medals, awards....they will all come and go, shine then fade, be celebrated and all too soon forgotten. But one thing that remains of upmost importance, above and beyond your goals and dreams, is people. People matter most.

Every opportunity, every work the Lord places before you is, of course, for you, but it is also for others. Others who need to be served, others who need a friend, a listening ear, a word of encouragement, a good example, or a prayer. Remember these people. Remember also that you, my son, will need people, too. You will need a friend, a listening ear, a word of encouragement, a good example, and prayers. Let these people love you in return, for they are Christ loving you.

When I became a mother, the Lord spoke into my heart the wisdom that all our children have come from Him, and you and your brothers are all on a journey back to Him. The next four years will be a grand part of that journey. No matter how smooth or rough the roads you travel may be, know with certainty that your father and I are here for you, that we believe in you, and in the Lord working in you, and we hope and pray that you will live life to the full, running well the race set before you! {Hebrews 12:1}

Always,

Mama

Dessert to the Rescue: Toasted Snowballs in Homemade Chocolate Sauce

2017-01-26T11:17:00.002-08:00

A couple of years ago, I made this dessert for my family for the first time. Ever since then, they ask for it often (like, every day). The original recipe came from Susan Branch's cookbook, Autumn. The recipe below is generally the same with just few slight adaptations of my own. This dessert can be made ahead of time, which is nice if you are having guests over. To serve, simply warm the syrup, make a puddle on your favorite dish and place a snowball in the center. If you want to get fancy, serve with a mint leaf garnish on the side. Enjoy!!

To Toast the Coconut:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spread sweetened coconut on a cookie sheet (I use about 1/2 bag for 1/2 gallon ice cream) and bake for 5-10 minutes, stirring occasionally until toasted. Watch it carefully, it can burn quickly!

To Prepare the Ice Cream:
Note: If you can find cinnamon ice-cream at your grocer, that is the easiest way to prepare this dessert. I, however, have not been able to find it over the past couple of years, so this is my improvisation!

Soften 1/2 gallon of good vanilla bean ice cream, and scoop out the entire container into a large bowl. In a smaller bowl combine until well blended 1/2 cup (do not pack) brown sugar, 3 tablespoons of ground cinnamon (more or less to your liking) and 1/4 teaspoon of salt.

Sprinkle cinnamon mixture over ice cream and stir until well combined. You can use a stand up mixer with a paddle attachment if you like, but do not use a hand mixer. Return to freezer until firm enough to scoop into balls that will hold their shape.

Scoop out 1/2 cup size portions into round balls and roll in coconut, giving each one a generous coating. Store in an airtight container until ready to serve. I like to make these ahead of time, but you can save this step until you are ready to serve if you like.

Homemade Chocolate Sauce Recipe:
**You will never buy Hershey's syrup ever again!!**
3/4 c. milk (whole milk works best)
1 Tbs. real butter
3 oz. unsweetened chocolate (use a high quality baking chocolate)
1 1/2 c. sugar
3 Tbs. light corn syrup
1 tsp. vanilla (Mexican vanilla is wonderful if you have it!)

Note: If you do not have unsweetened chocolate on hand, you may also substitute 1/3 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips and reduce the sugar amount to 1 cup, and the recipe will turn out fine.

Heat milk over low heat and melt butter and chocolate in it, stirring constantly until smooth. Add in sugar and corn syrup and cook, stirring for about 5 minutes. Stir in vanilla. Serve hot or cold. Refrigerate any leftovers.

Any leftover sauce is best polished off during the kids' nap time, and pairs well with everything, including the crusts of leftover pb & j sandwiches caked in Cheetos dust.

All the Thanks A Blog Could Ever Hold & Highlights of Our Holiday Homecoming With Steve

2017-01-19T17:36:00.000-08:00

A million and more thanks go out to all of you who have reached out to us with love, support, encouragement, humor, hugs, pizza deliveries, and faithful prayers since my last post!

If the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, then the way to a mom's heart is through a well-stocked freezer! A fantastic Meal Train was set up for us by Steve's sister, Jen, and words cannot adequately express just how thankful I am for this amazing gift. It has truly been a sanity saver for me. I swear I can hear angels singing every time I open the freezer door (or maybe that's just the happy hearts of our boys, who are eating like kings these days)!

You have nourished not just our bodies, but our spirits as well, as our mailbox no longer just holds bills, but also kind notes and beautiful, generous gifts that we can only hope to pay forward one day.

The body of Christ is real, people. It is strong. It is powerful. And, with all sincerity, I mean it when I say we have felt the outpouring of graces that flow between the Cross and all of you and all of us.

A million and more thanks. Sincerely.

An update on Steve...

He has good days and bad days. The doctors explained to us that Steve would feel worse before he would feel better, so he actually welcomes the bad days, because when he feels awful he knows that the medication and supplements are killing the infections in his body, which is the name of the game with Lyme and toxicity. (The reaction Lyme patients often experience in response to their prescribed medications is called a Herxheimer reaction, which you can read about here.)

Some of you have asked why Steve is staying in Florida, and the answer is because the majority of his medications and detox regimens are administered to him intravenously on a daily basis, with the exception of Saturdays and Sundays. This strict protocol requires him to remain close to the clinic.

Thanks to the generous help and support of family, we have not been apart from Steve for the entire seven weeks of his absence. The boys and I, (along with Steve's family) were able to fly to Florida over the Christmas holiday for a reunion.

Joseph's primary love languages are feasting and smooching. His kisses are like super juicy. He will be homeschooled until he's 30. Because, sheltering, that's what we do, right??

Sweet Reunion

With military-level amounts of strategic planning, and a solid zone defense, we were able to make it through the airport without losing any children or luggage, and we even managed to avoid being sniffed out by the canine unit, despite having beef jerky and Pop Rocks in our backpacks. Whew!

Steve is staying at a nice little apartment complex close to the clinic, so it was an adventure for the boys (not so much their mother) to experience apartment living for a few days. They thought the tennis courts and pool were a reasonable trade-off for the lack of sleeping space.

Apartment dwelling was really just our normal frat house living times ten. Extra cozy = extra stinky. I put in a request for happy hour with management, but haven't heard back from them yet.

During our visit Steve continued to receive his treatments in the mornings, which left most of our afternoons open for sight-seeing or hanging out at the beach.

As I scroll through all of the the photos I captured on our trip, I feel humbled by Steve's quiet strength and the very noble way in which he bore his pains so quietly, so as to try and maintain a cheerful atmosphere at all times for the boys.

His love for them, and for me, truly is heroic.

{Please enjoy this reel of yeller snapshots, while I research "how to set your camera for beach photography."}

Watching the kids bask in hours of carefree fun, enjoying the beauty of the beach and the warmth of the sun, was a great distraction from the weight of our worries.

We were the most fair skinned fannies out on the sand! Even our farmer tans from last summer had faded. Sunblock me, baby!

The spoils of fishing victory. Yes, George asked if we could eat those baby hammerheads for supper. I'm tellin' ya, he is the next Bear Grylls. At least I know when he leaves for college he'll never be hungry.

What a relief.

We all agreed it felt a little strange not being wrapped in fleece and slathered in chapstick over the Christmas break (but, we survived).

Henry informed me that he would rather have sand down his shorts than snow up his coveralls any day.

Chaffing vs. frostbite. It's a toss up.

The beach is such a perfect place for kids. They are completely entertained with the sand for hours at a time. If this were my backyard I would have time to take a nap and shave my legs. Those are my big dreams these days.

The top two boys are getting really good at dodging the camera. While I respect their mamarazzi denial wishes, at times I must insist on them taking turns being a prop for the littlest man.

I call this one "whispies." The oldest and the youngest and their matching beach blown hair-dos. A perfect end to an imperfect post!

I just have to say thanks, again, for your prayers. They are the momentum behind our every movement, propelling us forward, one step at a time towards Steve's healing!

More updates to come...

Our Lady Undoer of Knots & Our Decision to Send Steve to Florida

2017-01-05T18:12:00.000-08:00

When I started this blog a few years ago, the idealistic part of me assumed that it would be a place to share family stories, pics of our growing boys, favorite books and recipes, and maybe a tidbit here and there about homeschooling and farm life.

There's always something my mothering heart longs to write about, because writing has always been a special kind of joy, a therapy after long days of diaper changes and dish duty.

But, over the past couple of years, as the length of time between posts has widened from a few days, to a few weeks, to now a few months, I am accepting that the emptiness of this little virtual space may become something permanent, as the order of priority and charity in my heart for our family has far exceeded anything I've ever been called to in the past.

Many of you have been asking about Steve and his current situation concerning his health. So, while the baby naps, I will attempt to piece together a somewhat coherent explanation of the latest happenings with him.

Three years ago, Steve was diagnosed with Lyme disease. Early on, many of his symptoms pointed to a possibility of ALS and MS, but thankfully we were able to rule out those diseases as possible diagnoses. Since I have already written about Steve's journey with Lyme and trichothecene infections up to this point (which you can read about here, here, here, and here if you are so inclined) I will not go into more detail, but will try to catch you up on where he is now.

Since his diagnosis, he has seen a number of doctors of different specialties who have attempted to rid his body of the Lyme bacteria (specifically borrelia burgdorferi and babesia) as well as the toxins from mold (trichothecenes) which have infected his body through his work with hay and wheat straw as well as from our home, which we discovered a year ago contained mold in a small area in our basement, but has since been remediated.

The infections and toxins in his body have compromised his immune and endocrine systems, which has made many of his symptoms worsen. The specialists he has seen in hopes of building those symptoms back up have had little or no success with their prescribed treatments.

A year ago we heard about a clinic in Florida that specializes in treating Lyme disease, toxicity, and really every kind of illness imaginable. At that time we seriously considered sending Steve south, but since the clinic would require a relocation for an undetermined amount of time, we decided to post pone it as an option because we were expecting our seventh child, and we didn't feel that it was a prudent option due to distance, separation from family and finances.

Instead we chose to exhaust all medical resources within close proximity, including the Hansa Center, which proved to be of minimal benefit to Steve. After our son, Blaise, was born last May, Steve's symptoms, most of which are neurological in nature (severe headaches, pain behind the eyes, electrical frequencies in the brain at night which make it impossible to sleep) but also include muscle twitching, exhaustion, memory loss and an inability to concentrate, focus, or articulate his thoughts, began to worsen.

Papa snuggling with Blaise just days before his departure.

I could see and feel that he was becoming so discouraged, even depressed. It took every ounce of energy and focus for him to keep our hay brokerage business and custom farming operations going, all the while he remained so devoted and present to our family, which brings me to tears just thinking about it.

Like most Lyme suffers, Steve looks pretty normal, and he has learned to cope with his symptoms so well, that people rarely realize just how sick he is. When I visit with others who are in his same shoes, they also find that it's just easier to put on a smile and trudge through the day than to try to explain to others how debilitating the infection really is.

In early November I decided to pray a novena to Our Lady Undoer of Knots. I have sincere trust in her great desire to carry our deepest, dearest petitions to her Son. On the final day of the novena, Steve's symptoms were the worst I had ever seen. I can't describe how painful it is to see him suffer so much. That night, I left for a couple of hours to attend a party, and when I came back we spent a long time talking about a webinar that he had watched which was presented by the head doctor of the Sponougle Wellness center, the clinic in Florida he had considered attending a year ago. The webinar just happened to be focused on Steve's very symptoms, specifically the ones affecting his brain.

At the end of our conversation, we both knew it was time for us to take a leap of faith and send Steve to Florida for treatment. Thankfully, the clinic was able to accept him as a patient, but we didn't anticipate that it would all happen so soon - he would have to leave before Christmas.

On December 4th, Steve and I flew to Florida and immediately jumped in to meetings with doctors, nurses, and other staff at the clinic. We also set up an apartment close to the clinic where he'll be staying for the duration of his treatments.

After over 40 blood tests, several UA's and a Pet Scan were reviewed, the doctors were able to pinpoint the causes of Steve's symptoms and put together a comprehensive treatment plan to heal his body of Lyme disease, trichothecenes, petrochemicals (from years of farm and mechanic work), blood parasites (which are carried by mosquitoes, ticks, and flies - more on that later), and a low functioning immune and endocrine system.

I returned home from Florida on December 8th, the feast of the Immaculate Conception. When my flight landed in Kansas City, I received a text of this image from Steve with the message attached:

Stopped at a church on the way home from the airport to attend holy mass this morning.

When I walked in, this image of Our Lady Undoer of Knots was the first thing I saw.

I knew instantly that it was a confirmation of our prayers.

There's so much more to tell. I will try to write more in the coming days about Steve's treatment and also our family's trip to visit him in Florida over the Christmas holiday.

With all my heart I thank you for every single one of your prayers and sacrifices offered up for Steve, and for taking the time to reach out to us through texts, phone calls, and Facebook messages. Your love and friendship is sustaining us!

Our Three Month Hunk...Who Is Now Four Months, But Who's Keeping Track?

2016-09-28T16:07:00.000-07:00

Hey guys!! Have you missed me?

Well, I've been kinda busy eating and eating and also there's some pooping, because *hello* my brothers love to change my diapers, so I like to keep it exciting for them.

Can we just chat anatomy for a quick sec? You guys, my feet are AWESOME!! When no one is around to adore me, and I'm feeling kinda bored, BOOM, there they are. And the toes? They're the jam (hee-hee!). When my gums start to ache (because Mama says I'm teething), I just pop one of my toes in, and I'm good to go!

Speaking of teething, have you guys ever seen The Office? My mom watches it on Netflix, like all night long, while she rubs my gums as I wail and drool in dental agony.

She loves that show.

I'm just so glad she didn't name me Dwight.

Anyhoo, now that I'm a good twenty pounds of buttah, and my head is no longer bald (except for that one spot), I'm starting to look like quite the macho man. Basically, I'm my dad's twin.

I don't wanna brag, but these are my three month pics. Kinda like senior pics, but with less Photoshopping, since I don't have zits or awkward facial hair (yet):

What do you think of the mohawk? Too much?

I'm leaning, I'm leaning...somebody? Anybody? Lady with the camera?

Warming up for a plank. Just kidding. I don't plank.

My momma calls this "tummy time." I call it uncomfortable.

Ahh, that's better! Back to the back! I love chillin' on my quilt.

It's custom. I know. I'm a lucky man. My Aunt Stephanie made it just. for. me. *wink!*

Quick shot of my toes...

just in case you are wondering how squishy and yummy they really are.

In this pic I'm looking for my guardian angel. Have you seen him?

Did you know St. Padre Pio could see his guardian angel? Mine's around here somewhere....

Got your Mama wrapped around your finger grin? Nailed it!

This photo is her favorite.

She's my favorite.

All that love and milk and smooches she gives me, I must be her favorite, too.

Tour #6 of the Terrible Two's ~ Where Time Out is Taken With Three Hail Marys and a Shot of Baileys {in the Coffee}

2016-08-29T09:31:00.000-07:00

This is our sixth round of ~~pullingourhairout~~ ~~drinking~~ ~~bribing~~ guiding a child through through the terrible twos. You would think that at this stage of the discipline game that we would be on cruise control. Not so my friends, not so.

Behold the beloved:

I'm coming for you!

The only thing I know for sure about surviving this unpleasant stage of a toddler's life is:

1. I can always blame my addiction to chocolate on their naughtiness, and

2. It won't last forever - the terrible twos, not the chocolate addiction (that's permanent, I'm afraid).

Cheeseburger grin of innocence.

Living with a two year old is kind of like watching that one TV show that's frustrating and awesome at the same time (Downton Abbey). The one where you throw things at the screen because the plot is not going the direction that you think it should go (Matthew dies), but then something awesome happens (cue Dowager Countess every time), and suddenly it's your favorite thing ever again.

Spotty, yet accurate, iphone evidence or our typical testosterone filled breakfast.

Joseph is a 24/7 plot twister. He lures his parents in with those enchanting blue eyes, sweet kisses and sugary giggles. We are crazy in love with his (non-tantrum) vocals, because they are seriously adorable! At any given time he's serenading us with his with his curly little voice, calling out the names of his brothers, Cluh! (Charlie), Doh! (Andrew), Honey! (Henry) and, totally charmed, we are certain the tyranny is over.

Not a second later he is clobbering us over the head with that shrilling scream that is something like a meat mallet on our nerves.

Just last week, as I was strapping Blaise to myself in the baby sling and throwing back the last shot of caffeinated hope for the morning, I heard a loud thunk. Strolling over to the window, sure to find the infractor facing the wrong direction in the yard with a baseball bat, I was surprised to see this instead:

#6 flesh of my flesh, bone of my bones. Holding a tomato from my garden. Winding up his chubby little pale-flesh limb for another chuck.

He wasn't throwing my tomatoes at anything or anyone specific, he was just randomly shot-putting them into the wind. Because those 5 bazillion dollars I've spent on every size and kind of ball for our offspring over the years is apparently not working for him? Maters are where it's at.

Now, if he was chucking cucumbers at the house, I'd be so chilled. Because, seriously, I cannot. eat. another. cucumber. But tomatoes, I've been waiting all summer long for those babies!

From the top of the deck I stared down with my high-blood pressure face ablaze and gave the little Mr. the what for. Oh, I'm sure you can probably guess what he gave me.

That's right. He gave me the meat mallet.

NOOOOOOO, MOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!

Right there. Right then. Pumpkin angel told me, no.

What did I do? I went back inside, poured another cup of coffee, threw in some Baileys, said three Hail Mary's, and called daddy for some moral support.

If you've been where I've been then you know just how challenging it is to be patient during this stage of your tots life. On top of the natural pressure we place upon ourselves to handle each and every circumstance the right way, there's also so much advice out there to wade through, what to do, what not to do, what's normal, what's not normal. Seven kids later, goodness knows I've heard or read more than my fair share of it all.

If this is your first time wading into the terrible twos waters with your tot, or if that stage is just on the horizon, here's a short list of parenting points to ponder that Steve and I have collected over the years. Most of them have stemmed from the trusted advice of great mentors and great authors*, and others have been fine-tuned through trial and error. Collectively, they are tips that have proven to be the most helpful and fruitful for us when we stick to them with love and consistency.

1. Be Consistent

Whatever method of discipline you choose to use, whether it's time out, early bed time, taking away privileges, etc. just be consistent and follow through. I can't stress this enough. We have failed at this so many times and paid the consequences. Discipline may be difficult in the moment, but in the long run it's easier on you and on your child.

2. Chill Out

I know this is obvious, yet challenging at the same time, but you have to be calm. Children are so perceptive. They know instantly when a parent's fire is lit, and if your child is even slightly strong willed, parental anger just ignites in them the will to compete or defy. Discipline is not a competition. You are in charge, so just stay calm, stay the course, and expect the child to dislike and rebel against the boundaries you have set - that's normal! You're not bending a will, your shaping an attitude, and that can take time.

3. Love 'Em Up

Sometimes our kids' bad behavior is really just a cry for love. I've really noticed this with Joey. Some mornings I put him in time-out a dozen times before we've even finished breakfast. Sigh. Why? Really I just need to stop what I'm doing for a moment, hold him on my lap, hug him, laugh with him or read him a story. When I take this approach, his mood and behavior instantly improves. Love and affection is magical! Give 'em some one-on-one time and see what happens.

4. Watch Your Language

Try using specific language, or "trigger words" with them. A couple of our favorites are This is not acceptable behavior, and You re in charge! Or, You get to choose! When a child is being argumentative or defiant we give them two win-win options and explain that they get to be in charge of the decision they make.

For example, I might say, Joseph, you may either sit down and eat your lunch or go to nap-time early. I will let you decide. You get to be in charge! You have two minutes to choose, or I will choose for you. I set the timer and wait for his response. Either one is a win-win for me!

5. Praise 'Em

Words of affirmation are really important during this stage. If my kids are tuning me out, it's usually because I'm using more disciplinary words (in a frustrated tone) and not enough affirmative ones. Be intentional about catching your kids making good choices, and then affirm them specifically. I like the way you shared your toys today! Or, Thank you for saying please and thank you at supper! You're such a big boy!

6. Be Strategic

Don't attempt big outings when your kids are hungry or tired. It's a sure recipe for a fiery melt-down. Man, have I made this mistake too many times! Little ones simply cannot understand the mental flowchart that we moms have strategically drawn up for the day. No matter how creatively we try to explain our plans to them or reason through specifics with them it's like spaghetti in their little heads. So, we must be realistic about our expectations and smart about scheduling if we want to avoid unnecessary conflict.

7. Show Mercy

Be affectionate after punishment. After we put Joseph in time out (which he hates, because he has to be in a room by himself), we try to remember to pause, kneel down, hug him and remind him why he was punished, and then express that we love him and that he gets a chance to try again.

8. Quit Counting

I hope I'm not offending anyone here, but the countdown method is not a good idea. Telling a child they have five seconds to do anything means that they will max out that five seconds and risk being disciplined. Again, we know this to be true through trial and error. I'm not sure where I read this but offering the child a single warning and explaining the consequence they will receive if they refuse to stop their behavior seems to be much more effective. If you find yourself saying, "Stop!" over and over again, that is the same as counting. You have to give the warning and discipline immediately if they do not adhere to your warning.

The only exception to this suggestion is if a child is hurting another child, then there's not warnings, discipline is immediate.

9. Brag Don't Bemoan

Don't speak negatively about your child to others in front of your child. If they constantly hear you telling others that he/she is going through the terrible twos, is so naughty, is exasperating you, they will more than likely fulfill their role as the "naughty one." But, if they hear you say positive things about them to others, especially if you praise them in front of your spouse, they will absolutely light up and they will know that you love them and believe in them - this will (hopefully) motivate them toward obedience. Again, so guilty of this here, because sometimes we moms just need to vent, am I right? We just have to be prudent about the time and place we choose to vent.

10. Encourage

Be encouraging and show a little mercy to others and to yourself. A couple of weeks ago, I was in a bookstore purchasing some materials that I needed for our homeschool year. Joseph was in a serious funk. I had asked an older brother to help watch Joey while I shopped, but I could still hear Joseph's pipes vocalizing his discontent with life. I finally had to seek out the manager and apologize for my son's behavior. To my surprise, the manager was so kind and gentle with me. With his understanding, I instantly felt the parent perfect weight on my shoulders lighten up. We need to extend that kind of grace and understanding to others, and to ourselves as well.

Sometimes children are down right awful because their parents have failed to love and nurture them with proper discipline. But, most of the time, kids are just being kids. They're trying to figure out life in this big world and how they fit in to all of it. It's a big job to love and lead our little ones in the right direction, and I know for a fact that it's easier when we set our critical eye aside and show some mercy and support to one another instead.

Gotta run - Joey is blowing his nose. In the curtains.

Have a great week!

*A few of our favorite trusted resources:

Any book or podcast by Dr. Ray Guarendi

Any book or podcast by Dr. Meg Meeker

Any book or podcast by Dr. Kevin Leman

Love and Logic

Choredom: Trust Me, It's a Good Thing

2016-07-27T11:42:00.002-07:00

Check out Captain Long Legs:

He does not get those stilts from me. I'll spare you the photos, but if you need a visual, think tree-trunkish.

That kid is one of the top reasons why blogging has taken a serious backseat this summer. I'm either feeding him (major budget breaker), shopping for bigger shoes and longer britches for his body that won't. stop. growing., or following him around the house like a shadow, desperate to stay as close to him as possible, for as long as possible before he packs up and moves out of mi casa (hello, heartbreak in three short years).

As much as this photo of him makes me weep a thousand tears, it also makes me smile as many smiles, because I am so thankful for who Benedict is, and how he is growing up to be such a fine young man. (Not perfect, but pretty darn great.) There are no back pats with that statement - it's 100% God's grace and goodness. I mean it.)

Because I have such an intense awareness of the passing of time, my immediate reaction to the pain is to spoil Ben. I know, it's ridiculous! I really don't mean spoil in the material sense, but in the let's have fun, and go do stuff, and eat lots of ice cream, and forget about work sense.

Thankfully, my husband has more mature ideas than I do. He's right there with his handy-dandy sense of reason to balance out my maternal need to suffocate our teenage son with unlimited supplies of food and hugs.

One of the hubs' ideas is to keep the chore train chugging along.

While most people are currently posting about their fabulous summer vacays (which I happen to love!), afternoons at the pool and the beach, baseball games, and outdoor theatre, my camera reel is a little lighter in the recreational department.

C'est la farm vie!

Don't get me wrong, my boys L.O.V.E. farm life, but they don't love everything about it. Especially roguing. For those of you who's closest experience to farming is going to the farmer's market, roguing is just a fancy word for pulling weeds.

Last Saturday, I thought I would be Mrs. Motivated and sneak out of the house before Blaise woke up to squeeze a run in before breakfast. My sneaking went about as far as the kitchen, where I found four tired boys sitting in sleepy silence, sliding on their work boots, waiting for dad to drag them out to the soybeans that needed to be rogued.

All my hugs and promises of pancakes upon their return couldn't wipe the pathetic look of choredom off their faces.

I hate seeing my boys unhappy. But, you know what? Even though I hate it, I'm pretty much okay with it, and let me tell you why.

As much as we all want our kids to grow up, go to college and become instantly successful, barring some miraculous intervention, the titles of CEO or head coach are not going to be bestowed upon them post-graduation.

This means that, more than likely, they are going to have to sit as the low man on the totem pole for a while, no matter what career path they choose. And, often with the L.M.O.T.T.P. rank, come the less than desirable tasks that no one wants to do.

Poor things. They will probably feel overqualified and underpaid while answering the call to perform such menial tasks. BUT (finger's crossed) I'm hoping they won't throw a tantrum, and will actually be able to endure the monotony...if they have any sort of interior grit whatsoever.

So, how do you get your kiddos some of that grit? Well, based on personal experience, I really believe that the best grit-builder is chores. Serious chores. Not just clean your room chores or take out the trash chores. I'm talking about chores that take time and dedication to finish. Mowing and trimming the lawn, cleaning out the garage - top to bottom, detailing the family car, pulling weeds, and shoveling snow.

By the way, I'm totally convinced that folding laundry and sock-matching builds better hand-eye coordination than hours sitting in front of the X-Box. I've seen it for myself. No video game pro can top my boys speed when it comes to a game of knuckles or snatching the last cookie from the jar.

Most nights, Steve and I don't do dishes after the evening meal. After watching our children receive the bounty of our hard work, we retire to the living room with a glass of wine while they take their stuffed little tummies to the kitchen where they team up to return my domain to ship-shape condition before any other evening activities ensue.

Of course they moan and groan about it. That's normal. And then there's the towel snapping and arm wrestling which always leads to some sort of squabble, which interrupts our sipping of the grapes, which leads to one of us redirecting their focus with threats of double vegetables and no dessert for a week.

Anyway, this particular chore of KP duty is just one of the many grit-building opportunities we give to our children. They also clean bathrooms, do laundry, mow and trim the lawn, and change diapers (gasp!). I'm probably painting a work-house picture here but, honestly, chores actually make up a very small portion of our children's day, and amazingly, the time that they contribute to the economy of the home makes the time that they have to play, rest, socialize, or participate in activities even sweeter.

I know it sounds crazy, but work actually makes for happier, more confident, more grateful kids.

If you haven't already experienced choredom resistance from your kids, I assure you at some point you will. Eventually chore charts with cute rewards will no longer be enough to entice them to keep their rooms clean. They will pout, sulk, cry, and utter every grievance over your expectations of them....anything to wear you down and make you feel guilty for asking them to lift a precious finger to help.

If and when that happens, don't throw your hands up! Don't give up! Stay calm and stay the course. Remember, if you need a little leverage to get them to cooperate, you can always dangle the car keys, cell phone, television time, or fun with friends privileges out in front of their scowling faces. (Those are priveleges, not rights of entitlement.)

Our approach to chores isn't militaristic, it's just matter of fact. Being a part of a family means there will always be chores, and why should mom and dad do everything? When we as parents shoulder all of the responsibilities of the home, and on top of that, shuttle our kids to every activity on the planet, we deny our children vital opportunities to gain the virtues and skills necessary to become generous individuals who are mindful of others. Virtues and skills that will also bolster their confidence so that they might assert themselves in the most challenging circumstances in order to aspire toward the dreams and goals they desire to achieve in life.

Offering our boys opportunities that have the potential to form them to become steadfast, dedicated, resilient members of society isn't solely meant to help them temporarily survive the hum-drum duties that their future careers might require of them. They are also meant to give them the lasting and meaningful strength to rise up to, rather than shirk, those less than desirable tasks that are a necessary part of maintaining a healthy thriving community, church, and/or family.

Who will stay a little longer to clean up the trash-strewn stadium after a ball game? Who will give up a golf game to organize the fundraiser for a friend in need? Who will sacrifice social time to stand in line and serve at the soup kitchen on a Saturday morning? Who will give up an afternoon of football to shovel snow for an elderly neighbor? Who will sacrifice sleep for night time feedings and diaper changes?

I hope that my boys will.

In fact, I hope that no matter what career path they choose, or how successful they become, that they will always have the interior conviction to recognize and confront the hard things in life, the less-than-appealing duties that need to get done, and that they will tackle those duties with humility and perseverance.

But, you know what? Hope is a great virtue, but hope doesn't stand on it's own. It needs legs. And legs look like opportunity, and for our kids, opportunity looks like chores. Chores really could be the tool that builds a solid foundation made of hard work and meaningful experiences. A foundation that gives solid support to the purpose that the Lord has in mind for each of our boys to fulfill.

Time to wrap this up! The boys have moseyed in from mowing and are looking forward to an afternoon at the pool.

If you're a parent who also believes in chores, but have felt alone in that area of parenting, I hope that you feel some support today! And, if you've been hesitant or afraid that chores might turn your child's life upside down (well, they will, but your kiddos will be okay, and so will you!), I hope that you feel encouraged to give it a go!

Patience is the Fruit of Gratitude ~ Remembering Blaise's Birth

2016-06-30T12:14:00.002-07:00

Several years ago, my spiritual director told me that gratitude is the gateway to patience.

Yeah. Just let that simmer for a while.

I kind of hated it when she would say stuff like that to me. Because what she said was true, and truth can be uncomfortable, even annoying, since sometimes I'm a toddler and I don't like to do what I know I'm supposed to do. Read: get better - grow up - get over myself.

Two weeks before Blaise was born, her words came back to me. They were a spiritual life preserver thrown out from my memory as, sadly, I had forgotten all about them.

Her wisdom really did rescue me from drowning in the waves of worry, doubt, and despair that kept pulling me under into the depths of self pity. I just couldn't get over the fact that our seventh son had decided follow in the stubborn footsteps of brothers #2, #4 and #6, by hunkering down for a long twelve days past his due date.

Practicing real, sincere, prayerful gratitude isn't always an easy thing to offer up, especially when you've decided that you simply cannot survive being pregnant for one more single solitary day.

If you've ever been in my flip flops, you understand what I'm sayin' here. At 40+ weeks your whole body aches. You haven't seen your ankles for a good three weeks. And the only thing thing that fits is your husband's bath robe - which you've convinced yourself, with the right pair of ~~shoes~~ flip-flops, could pass for a classic, albeit fuzzy, wrap dress.

But, given the fact that my chocolate stash, and all my other earthly comfort-seeking strategies for distraction had failed to keep my inner tantrum sector from screaming, When in the hell am I going to have this baby??!, I gave in to the one thing that I should have been choosing all along: GRATITUDE.

(See how it says attitude right there in that word? Probably not a coincidence, huh.)

Still determined to help this baby get his birthing rear in gear, I gathered up my gratitude and, as I contemplated God's generosity, proceeded to mow the lawn, weed the garden, and walk the curbs around neighborhood until I couldn't walk any more.

Unfortunately, all that determination made me a wee bit tired. It just so happens that the only prayer I had prayed for myself over the last two months of pregnancy was that the Lord would allow me to go to the hospital feeling rested, and that circumstances surrounding the birth would be relatively uneventful (unlike the last time). Because I'm not able to handle an epidural, I need every ounce of energy and strength possible to get through the labor and delivery.

But, wouldn't you know, the night of all that curb-walking, around 11 p.m., just as everyone was sleeping soundly and it was finally my turn to crawl into bed, ba-boom. Contractions.

At first I wasn't too worried because I had been having contractions at night for about three weeks. And, since those were all uneventful, I figured this was just a repeat situation. But, after about three hours of activity, things really started to crank up.

Wanting to labor at home as long as I could so that Steve could sleep, I settled in to the recliner and tried to rest. Around 4 a.m. it was time to wake Daddy up. Exhausted, yet excited, I grabbed the coffee pot and, in desperation, chugged down the cold bitter cup that was leftover from breakfast and waddled out the door into the dark.

Once we got to the hospital, my contractions began to slow down. I wasn't about to pop into the maternity ward only to have them tell me I wasn't in "real labor." So, for nearly an hour, Steve and I walked a loop around the admissions floor until my contractions were two minutes apart.

After checking in, I was happy to hear from the experts that not only was I really in labor (insert eye-roll), but also dilated to a SIX (insert rock star jump).

Like the six births before this one, the details of the labor and delivery quickly faded as the miracle of life passed from my womb to my arms.

But there are two very poignant moments during the labor that I don't think I'll ever forget....

About an hour before Blaise was born, I had really hit a wall. It took every last bit of energy I could muster to keep my emotions and bay and to stay focused. As I stood hunched over the bed, leaning on the rail for support, I looked up at Steve seeking his encouragement. In our silence, the exchange of glances spoke a thousand words. His eyes told me that he knew just how fragile I felt.

Leaving my side for just a moment, he went in search of my journal, the one that I had recorded a little over one hundred prayer requests from my readers, friends, and family. Returning to my side, he opened the book and laid it between my hands. As I hung my head over the scripted pages, one by one I read, again, the needs that had been entrusted to me weeks ago. As I prayed, every weakness and every pain I was feeling was completely taken up into those intentions.

As I prayed I remember seeing very clearly in my mind the image of the crucified Christ. Up until that time, I had only considered that it was our sins alone that Jesus bore upon the cross. But, it was there that He also took ahold of our every pain and suffering as well. He knew, with deep love and tender compassion, every ounce of pain I would endure to bring a new life into His world, just as He knew every measure of suffering being borne by the hearts of each and every name I had written on the pages of my journal.

In that space in time there was a beautiful unity between us all - Christ, myself, and those whom I was praying for. I cannot describe the peace and joy that flooded my soul at that moment.

On May 27th at 10:02 a.m., Blaise Maximilian Kolbe was born.

I was once asked, since we have had multiples, if the experience of giving birth ever ceases to be amazing . The answer is a resounding, no. It's a truly humbling, yet thrilling experience each and every time. Steve and I are always a total mess at the moment of the birth. We hug and kiss and bawl over our new child, completely unaware of anyone else in the room.

It's a glorious time!

We decided not to tell the boys the gender of their new sibling until they arrived at the hospital. When they walked into the room, a curious silence came over them. As soon as they heard they had a new brother, the room turned into a gymnasium - woo-hoo's, high fives, chest bumps and all!

One by one they held him...(Not pictured, Ninja Joey, who was only allowed to admire from afar.)

George, the first to request the honor of holding his new brother.

Andrew, Mr. Tender.

Henry, so proud to finally be big enough to hold a baby on his own.

Ben, the oldest holding the youngest. I can't even type that without getting teary-eyed.

Charlie, 100% in love.

For weeks we volleyed back and forth over three names for our new little guy, and thought we would choose the one we felt suited him best once he was born. My top pick was Ambrose John Vianney. Steve's was Louis John Vianney, but we also had Blaise Maximilian Kolbe on the roster.

In the end, it was the boys who chose Blaise. They campaigned hard for his name, and came out victorious - we just couldn't say no.

Blaise has no idea just how incredible the father who holds him truly is.

Blaise is my parents' seventeenth grandchild.

My dad always tells his children that he has more love than grandkids. He's right.

Oh, my darling Blaise!

Thank you for reminding me that patience is the fruit of gratitude.

Your sweet face will forever be a reminder of that truth!

First Glimpses of Blaise

2016-06-16T09:59:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow our sweet baby, Blaise, will be three weeks old. The first few weeks at home with a newborn are always a bit of a blur for me, especially during this particular season, since our family is quite busy with athletic camps, church activities, baseball games, and some seriously looooonnnngggg hours of farm work.

As I find myself marching through these crazy days in a mental haze, struggling minute-by-minute to overcome the deep, deep aching desire for sleep, for quiet, for peace, my one comfort is knowing that I am right where I am needed, whether it means nursing Blaise for the hundredth time, delivering meals to the field, shuttling someone to a camp, or cheering on one of the boys at a baseball game.

While the difficulties of the present moment probably seem less than ideal to anyone on the outside looking in, I assure you, there is no absence of beautiful delights. For every tear and every sigh of exasperation, there are twice as many blessings in the way of laughter, joy, wonder, and surprise - especially in the expressions of affection and love from six big boys toward the tiny, fragile boy whom they have welcomed into their brotherhood.

Such is the mystery of love...that there can be such indescribable goodness in the midst of suffering, and how one gives the other greater purpose, greater merit.

I'm hoping to find a moment or two over the weekend to compose Blaise's birth story, but until I can get back on my blogging feet again, here is a peek at just a few of the photos I've been able to capture of our little prince!

Every day for the first week after we came home from the hospital, we took Blaise to the doctor to have his blood tested, since he had a moderate case of jaundice. He's a little yellow, you can see! Thankfully, with every visit his bilirubin levels came down, and he is how perfectly rosy!

While snapping these pics, in my brief absence, Joey ate a half a pan of brownies. Then, on a chocolate high, he proceeded to finger paint the refrigerator...and the pantry door....and himself.

Terrible two's + sleepless newborn nights = best reason to keep the wine fridge stocked!

Baby Blaise is a curious wonder to the boys, especially Charlie. He can sit for the longest time inspecting every inch of his brother, from head to toe. There is some sweetness underneath all their rowdiness!

My dad's sister, Elaine, has crocheted a blanket for every single one of our boys. Each one is a unique treasure.

Last week Steve was working around the clock to get our hay baled and stacked, but he called one day, out of the blue, to say he was going to take a break and come HOME for supper. (Yay!! Oh Dear... ) I had only a short amount of time to get a meal on the table before he arrived, and needed some help with Blaise, who was very fussy at the time.

With Ben and Andrew away on a mission trip, the younger boys had to step in. Henry was the first to volunteer. He scooped baby Blaise right up and rocked him tenderly by the radio. We soon discovered a little George Strait and some cuddling works like a charm on Mr. Fussypants!

This.

This one I will frame.

Posted to my Facebook page last week:

Blessed is the mom whose son rises at 5:30 a.m. to get to football camp, then puts in an 8 hour day helping dad turn wrenches on a swather, only to come home and pass up a hot supper for the chance to hold his baby brother. Man, I wasn't ready for the tears that sight would bring - babies make us all a little better don't they?

‪#‎brotherhood‬ ‪#‎lifeisagift‬

In Response to An Accusation of Selfishness ~ My Thoughts On the Benefits of Raising Teens Alongside Babies

2016-05-26T20:14:00.001-07:00

Last week my dear husband exercised his masterful negotiation skills to secure a sweet deal on some new furniture for our living room. Ever since our mold remediation project last winter, we've been furniture-free and, given my current condition, the floor is becoming less and less hospitable to my limited grace and flexibility.

So every afternoon from 2p.m. - 4 p.m., my heart sings the Hallelujah Chorus because I get the recliner all to myself, and it's heavenly! I pop in my earplugs (if you don't own a pair, you don't know what you're missing!), prop my ~~ten~~ ELEVEN days overdue swollen self up and rexaaaaax while the boys run willy nilly around me.

Yesterday, while reclining, I gazed in amusement at our little Joseph, who stood silently at the front door, his nose pressed to the foggy glass, humid breaths clouding his view of the driveway. He waited patiently for the brother he most adores, but soon the wait was over. His eyes brightened, ears perked, and a chubby finger rose up to point out the tall figure that sauntered up the sidewalk. Under his breath I could hear him chant, "Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben...."

JOEY!!!

To the floor fell the big brother's backpack, and with the weight of the day released, his arms were now free to scoop up some love.

I never, ever tire of watching their after school reunions. It's a marvelous gift, their relationship - tender, feisty, earnest.

A little footage from a recent track meet:

Ooooo yay! Dandelions!

Hold still, Ben, while I blow these fluffy white things in yo face.

I'm gonna watch you PR in triple jump just as soon as I get done bwowin' deese fwuffies off a here.

Sibling relationships truly are a treasure, but they are also something that I think can be so easily overlooked and undervalued in our world today...

I remember it was sometime last fall when a message from a fellow blogging friend appeared in my inbox. She was confronting comments that had been made to her concerning family size, specifically about how couples, who continue to welcome babies into the family while raising teenagers at the same time, are behaving selfishly, and she wanted my opinion on the matter.

I nearly fell out of my chair. Having a baby....when you have a teenager in the home....is selfish???

*Please note, before I continue, that the remainder of this post is meant to address the following comments toward raising teenagers alongside of babies. It is not meant, in any way, to suggest that meaningful relationships and a virtuous life cannot be obtained outside of the home or outside of a large family unit. Again, I am simply offering a positive perspective on the less-obvious merits of parenting teens and little ones at the same time.

Reading on, the comments she shared with me were this:

It's not fair to expect teens to give up their personal time and freedom to help take care of little siblings.
Having a newborn in the home compromises the amount of time and focused attention a parent can give their teens, time and attention that is critical to their own development and maturation.
Teenagers shouldn't have to give up precious opportunities academically or athletically because parents can't facilitate or afford to support their teens personal growth and interests.

After my locked jaw and gritted teeth finally relaxed, I decided to postpone my reactive response and instead seek out the perspective of a trusted teen source - my oldest son.

I simply opened our dialogue with this question:

Ben, do you ever feel like you are missing out on certain life experiences or opportunities because you have younger siblings in the home that require our time and attention? Younger siblings that you also are often asked to help take care of?

The look on his face said it all. But do you want to know what his response was?

Mom, if you're asking if I would rather have golf lessons or that our family could take more trips, or I could have my own four wheeler (which I know he desperately wants), instead of another little brother then the answer is, NO. I could never want any of those things more than Joseph or Charlie or any of my brothers.

While my heart was soothed by his answer, I wanted to press him even further....

Yes, but, you know that you have more responsibilities here at home, since Dad and I often need your help. Not many kids your age have to change diapers, give baths, or read picture books at night to toddlers, so that I can keep the laundry going and dad can help with homework. And, I want you to know it's okay to tell me exactly how you feel about it all.

He looked me in the eye, and short and sweet said this:

Mom, honestly, I don't mind. In fact, I think I'm going to miss it when I'm gone.

After my conversation with Ben, I wasn't sure exactly how to respond to my friend's e-mail. I really believe that the person confronting her was not trying to be offensive in sharing her opinions - in fact, I think most people who agree with her or follow her train of thought really do believe that their points are valid and worth discussing.

So, I don't fault her, whoever she is. However, if she is going to press those of us - all of us - who have babies and teens in the same house, with such opinions, then she must certainly be ready for an honest response, and this is mine:

In a nutshell - we are undoubtedly living in a time and culture where self-centeredness is encouraged and facilitated to such a great degree, that we no longer recognize the value of sacrificing for the greater good of the other above our own self-interests. Social media offers a plethora of evidence to to this truth.

Naturally, any sort of family structure that fosters opportunities for sacrificial acts of selflessness would seem countercultural, and certainly counterproductive by todays child-rearing standards. Because many parents today do not recognize the home as a place where their children might discover themselves through a sincere gift of self (St. John Paul II) to their family (primarily through sacrificial acts of generosity), opportunities for self-discovery and affirmation are typically sought in popularly social venues outside of the home, such as sports, music, and even academic fields.

While these opportunities have their own merit and value in a child's life (our children certainly enjoy participating in all of those things), I don't believe that they were ever meant to become an arena in which parents lives constantly revolve around the potential success and admiration of their children by others, nor were they meant to replace the vital relationships that can only be built through children serving within the family.

"You have been created for the glory of God and for your own eternal salvation;

this is your end, this is the object of your soul and the treasure of your heart."

- St. Robert Bellermine

As Christians we believe that our ultimate goal in life, our ultimate end is heaven. The road to heaven is paved with love, and we recognize this truth most clearly through the example of Christ, whose love was and is infinite and immeasurable, sacrificial and not self-seeking.

The beautiful thing about family life is that God, in his wisdom, has fashioned it to be, in itself, a culture that offers tremendous opportunities to obtain virtues such as compassion, charity, justice and prudence simply through the offering of oneself in the ordinary duties and responsibilities of caring for the home and for one another.

Of course, the challenge of embracing such opportunities is that not only does it require sacrifice on the part of the parents and children, but it also requires some bit of resiliency toward the influences of modern society - influences which promote finding life's purpose through an inward gaze rather than an outward one.

By today's standards, popularity and success, whether it be in sports or music or academics, is held in much higher esteem than being virtuous, and therefore the popularity and recognition is what most kids (and adults) strive for every day. Daily persistence in such goals naturally tend toward the fostering of a self-centered focus, rather than an other-centered focus.

The weight of society's influence doesn't just affect teens, it affects all of us to some degree. Social media contains strong evidence that we live in a culture that seeks affirmation and approval for everything and places an unreasonably high value upon that affirmation. Nothing we do and no part of who we are should go unnoticed, unrecognized, or heaven forbid "unliked."

So what does that mean for a teenager growing up in a family where some of their time and energy, by necessity, must be offered for the care of the home and for the little ones who reside there? I can't imagine any teen Snapchatting photos of themselves changing a diaper, or cheerfully picking up toys without being asked. What glory is there in reading a picture book for the thousandth time to a fussy toddler, or delivering a cup of water to a thirsty sibling. Who among their friends would possibly ever admire such a grand lifestyle?

Ask my sons - there is no glory, no admiration, no public affirmation for such contributions. And yet, the works of mercy that they participate in every day, the great acts of love and charity that they are asked to offer at present, are the very things that root out selfishness and anchor in their place the everlasting Christ-like virtues that will serve them far beyond any self-absorbed lifestyle which offers only temporary and fleeting comforts and a false sense of satisfaction.

Though such acts of sacrificial familial love often remain hidden, their greatness is not diminished by a lack of recognition or admiration.

In fact, it is the hidden nature of generosity within family life is actually what makes it so beautiful, so transforming. When we are called to serve, and respond in obedience to that call, our prideful nature (the part of us that desires to be recognized) is less likely to get in the way, making room for humility to blossom.

How can serving others and pride possibly be spoken about in the same sentence? Let me explain...

I find that it is easy to be generous and giving of my time and attention to others when it is convenient, or when I think that it might demonstrate to others that I really am a caring and generous person, who loves others and longs to be helpful. How about a soup kitchen selfie, y'all? (I can see my grandparents rolling their eyes as I type.)

Darn that desire to be validated and appreciated. It's a tough one, isn't it?

As a mom, if I myself am not immune to the temptation toward recognition, it's important that I do not underestimate the possibility that this "doing good when it feels good to do good" might also be a challenge for my teens.

Our two oldest sons will be going on a mission trip to New Mexico in a couple of weeks. And, while I believe whole-heartily that their journey will be blessed in ways that I cannot even begin to comprehend, I can only pray that their service will be rooted in true humility and not pride.

My oldest children most likely cannot yet comprehend the value in the opportunities that their upbringing offers them to become virtuous. In fact, they may not even agree with or like those servant oriented opportunities (what teen would?). But, as their parents, it is up to Steve and I to place a higher trust in the Lord's plan for each and every person in our family, and to trust it far above our own plans for them - especially when our personal desires for our children can be so easily influenced by a culture whose loud and pertinent voice often drowns out the whisper of reason within us.

Today Benedict will have completed his freshman year of high school. Many of my friends, who have raised teens, have told me how quickly time flies once our children reach the teen years. Sadly, I recognize real truth in their sentiments, as it feels as though I will blink and tomorrow Ben will be gone.

I remember when he was born, how I thought I was ready for motherhood and everything that becoming a mother would mean. I thought I was generous, but I wasn't. I though I knew what it meant to sacrifice for another, but I didn't. My children and my husband have stretched me, grace has stretched me toward generosity, charity and greater depths of love.

Flannery O'Connor put it well when she said,

"All human nature vigorously resists grace because grace changes us and the change is painful."

Change is painful. But, what if we could raise our children to live their lives in such a way that when they reach their vocation, be it married life, religious life, or mission life, that there be less of a need for interior change, and therefore less pain?

I believe that family life, in it's very sacrificial nature, offers children just that - a wonderful opportunity to gain the virtues that will guide them to live the vocation they are called to with greater freedom and with fewer interior struggles.

The pain of change doesn't just reside in the hardships and struggles that are thrown our way, but rather it emanates from the very process of detachment from our selfish ways, habits, desires and attitudes.

I know this because I have lived it - I continue to live it! Detachment hurts! But, it is necessary for us to become less of ourselves and more like Christ if we are to walk the hard road of love toward heaven.

I didn't realize when Steve and I were first married, and when we began a family, just how many amputations the Lord would have to perform on my infected soul, but He did so, and continues to do so, out of love for me.

He will do the same for our children.

It is my great hope that our sons, who are called today to sacrificially serve one another within our family, will experience a lesser degree of frustration and pain when it comes to interior conversion, because they will have already experienced and embraced the fruits of virtue borne of the sacrifices they have offered to love and care for their family while at home.

If you are interested, these are the highlights of the response I gave to my friend via e-mail...

Is it selfish for me to expect our sons to give up their "personal time and freedom" to help care for a younger sibling or to do chores?
First and foremost, if the Lord is calling Steve and I to have more children, we must trust Him above any confidence we have in ourselves, to provide what is necessary for all of us to thrive and to find joy within the life that He wills for us. It would be more selfish for us to deny our teens the opportunity to make personal sacrifices for their siblings than to offer them every earthly opportunity and comfort, because the long term benefits of doing so by far outweigh the temporary comforts of a duty-free lifestyle. Parents today are masters at serving our children, but are we teaching our children to serve?

Are Steve and I being selfish by welcoming another baby into our hearts and home, because it compromises the time and attention we can give our oldest children?

I think it would be selfish for us to deny our sons the opportunity to mature in independence and confidence by cradling them in a false net of continuous comfort, individual time and attention, only to throw them out into the real world where their professors, employers, friends and spouses will not support the overly attentive self-focused affirmative lifestyle they've been conditioned to feel that they deserve.

Finally, while I whole-heartily agree that opportunities for our children outside of the home, whether they be academically, athletically, musically, or in other avenues of interest are fantastic ways in which our children can grow and mature in self-knowledge and virtue, they are not the be-all, end-all of their purpose and existence. And, as much as we wish this were true, those experiences will never trump the everlasting rewards that those opportunities, which require our children to sacrifice for the greater good of another, may obtain for us when it comes to reaching our heavenly reward.

Bike Rides, Donuts & Why I Gave Up Nesting With #7

2016-05-17T11:57:00.002-07:00

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be the only female in a house full of boys and 87 weeks pregnant and suffering from a severe case of nesting?

No? Well, let me share some highlights...

Do you think testosterone filled humans care if the toaster gets disinfected?

Would they ever praise you for the hours you've devoted to making sure that the freezer and pantry are stocked, labeled, color coded and itemized on a spreadsheet complete with shiny lamination and stickers?

Will they really collapse under the weight of disappointment if every stitch of their laundry isn't washed, folded, and neatly organized in their drawers when half the time they prefer a nude existence anyway?

Will they notice the love you've poured into creating the most perfectly sweet and cozy nursery for their new sibling? (Well, I didn't actually do that, because there is no nursery for this baby. I'm the nursery. He or she will eat, sleep, poop and live on me for the next one hundred eighty days, give or take a few.)

So the answer to all of those questions is a resounding, NO. In fact, I'm not even sure if the guys around here believe that I'm pregnant (because hello, where's the baby??), which leaves them completely unable to empathize with my insatiable need to suck every dust bunny out of mi casa.

(Source)

The truth is, once upon a one or two kid time, I was able to manage the whole nesting thing quite well. Imagine if Martha Stewart and Mr. Clean had a baby and that baby was pregnant and nesting. That was me.

I'll admit that things took a little dip with babies three and four, and maybe a double dip with five and six, but I still managed to leave the house in somewhat adequate condition for those who would be taking over all maternal duties during my hospital stay.

But not this time. This time, I've surrendered. Carpe Nesting Diem is ovah.

I threw in the nesting towel last week when I found my toddler shut up in the pantry (that I had just polished and organized) sitting on a pile sweet potato chips that he was delightfully grinding into the hardwoods with his chubby little feet.

Sweet Jesus. Help me.

Fortunately, that was also the time when all of your prayer requests started to come rolling in. So, I abandoned the crumbs and decided to sit on the porch with my cup of self pity. While I sipped away at the labor-inducing herbals, one-by-one my domestic failures began to fade as I read each and every intention, humbled by the humility it took for so many of you to share your hearts and your life circumstances with me.

That was just the nudge I needed to reassess life, to consider the supreme importance I was placing on things that mattered.....but not that much. It was then that I officially decided to tear up what remained of my nesting to do list, and write instead a list of creative activities I could enjoy with the boys before the baby arrives.

Quality time above quality control.

Since that day we have played games, watched movies, planted a garden, golfed, baked, trekked around the zoo and even made use of my page of crafting pins on Pinterest (including this slime recipe which was a huge hit).

But, by far the best adventure we've experienced together was when I took the youngest five to town for a bike ride on the trails that encompass one of our local parks, which was deservedly followed by a visit to the donut shop conveniently located across from the park.

Ready to roll out!

The older three took off on their own while I cruised the pavement with Joey and Charlie.

Little legs, little wheels, big heart!

For the entire three mile trek, Joseph (who was working so hard under the shade of his comfy stroller there) kept screaming, "MA! Water!" It reminded me of this scene from the movie Wedding Crashers, which is totally hilarious, but TOTALLY wrong. Don't watch it, just don't.)

According to Charlie, we rode eleven miles that day. I assisted him for 9.5 of them, which is why my face is a tomato. Pushing a stroller and a neon green training wheeler at the same time should be an Olympic event.

DONUTS!!!!!

The boys know how I feel about the evils of sugar, so it was pretty much like Christmas the entire time we were in the donut shop. So much yumminess!

One doesn't just eat a red velvet cake donut with milk chocolate frosting and white chocolate drizzle. One must first contemplate the radius of it's wicked gooey goodness.

Post donut sugar crash on the dust bunny free couch with a good book.
(So, so much better than picking lint balls off of the baby blankets....#37 on the abandoned nesting list.)

Still praying for y'all, but hopefully by the time you read this baby #7 has made his/her grand entrance!

The "Offer it Up" Is About To Get Real - Will You Let Me Labor For Your Prayer Requests?

2016-05-04T10:24:00.001-07:00

April 28th is the feast day of St. Gianna Beretta Molla, a saint whom I look up to with great admiration and aspire to imitate as a wife, mother, and friend. On her feast day, this year, a beautiful friend of mine posted this picture of her:

{Cassie Pease Designs}
Love and sacrifice are closely linked,
like the sun and the light.
We cannot love without suffering,
and we cannot suffer without love.

With the expectation that our next child will be born any day, I am holding on to St. Gianna's words, because they remind me that, while the anxiety that I feel toward the inevitable pain that comes with childbirth is burdensome, the pain is not without merit, if it is offered up for others.

Before Joseph's birth, I asked you all to share with me anything and everything that I could pray for you about prior to and during the labor and delivery. Sometimes the physical discomforts we experience in the final stretch of pregnancy, as well as the ache of anticipation the heart endures as we wait for baby's arrival, are an indescribable suffering in and of themselves. Yet, those aches are eased when I am able to shift my focus from self to others in the offering of it all for your intentions. Lifting up your intentions during Joey's birth was such a gift, such a privilege, and I am eager to take hold of the opportunity to do it again.

Please don't be tempted to think that this is some super-stellar act of piety on my part. It's not. Just ask my family. There's no lack of moaning and groaning over being the temporary house of dwelling for the seventh member of our tribe. I complain far too often about being pregnant because, truthfully, I dislike it very much. And, since the epidural just isn't an option for me, I also struggle daily with the fear and anxiety of labor and delivery, because people, it hurts like hell, and I. am. a. weakling.

I hope you don't misunderstand me. I really do believe that pregnancy, labor, and delivery are of the most beautiful, and privileged moments a woman can experience in her lifetime. I'm simply confessing that, for me, they can be more of an opportunity for sanctification than for celebration.

Thankfully, God doesn't ask us to pretend, to not feel, to not admit all our worries and fears to Him. But, He also doesn't sprinkle fairy dust on those worries and fears, especially when we're standing and the bottom of what looks like a mountain of crap that we have to climb. He doesn't even own fairy dust (we should get Him some). Thankfully, He does give us every grace we need to face those mountains and to be transformed by them in the process, if we let Him. I think they call that tough love.

That's what I love about our faith, and why I hold on to it with all my might. It's not a faith of glistening appearances, or flighty feelings, but one of sincere intent, of sacrifice, of humility, and certainly of trust. A faith of flesh and bone.

I'll be filling up my notebook with all of your prayer requests over the next few days. Maybe you know of someone else who also is in need of prayers - please mention those needs here, too. I'll take 'em all! If for some reason you are unable to comment below, feel free to send me a personal message through Facebook or e-mail (solesearchingmamma@gmail.com).

A 38 Week Belly Peek and A Last Minute List of Mother's Day Gift Ideas

2016-05-01T13:37:00.003-07:00

Just a couple of days ago, I sent out an SOS on Facebook to any of my readers who would be willing to share with me their favorite tips on how to overcome the maternity blahs in the final stretch of pregnancy. Next to getting a pedicure and perking up what's left of my shrunken wardrobe with pretty earrings and some new lipstick, my favorite tip was going on a date with Steve.

I wish I could report that he is feeling top-notch, but unfortunately, he's hit another rough patch, so if you could keep those prayers coming, we would both be eternally grateful! Knowing that his Lyme/mold symptoms are pretty ramped up, I hesitated to even suggest that we get away for an evening, but I'm glad I did, because he was totally on board.

He even agreed to snap a couple of pics of me and baby before we left, since I haven't taken much time to document this pregnancy:

I'm so thankful for maxi skirts and dresses right now, because pants are just evil, and most of my tops have mysteriously shrunk at least a size (or two). So weird, because I'm sure it's not the pan of Paleo Almond Joy bars that I snarfed down last week.

I'm also hoping that the two dresses I can still squeeze into will not only help me feel more put together, but will also ramp up the grace and coordination factor a bit. Last week I knocked over three saint statues and a box of rosaries while browsing at my favorite Catholic bookstore, and of course that all happened after giving the boys the don't touch anything, because if you break it we have to pay for it blah, blah, blah speech.

Super. Duper.

I was going to suggest that management consult some pregnant women the next time they consider product layout and floor design, but that might have been a bit much given the fact that, thanks to my rotundness, St. Patrick just lost his shamrock. I just hope that the Franklin I spent on all of the First Communion and Confirmation gifts was enough to make up for my belly blunder.

Anyway, despite the public humiliations, uncontrollable swelling and crazy vein action this baby is cranking up, just knowing that he or she will soon be outside my womb and inside my arms is such a wonderful consolation.

The boys are also getting very excited. It's fun to hear them chat about how cute he/she will be with their tiny toes and sweet smelling skin. Listening to them express with so much joy their great enthusiasm over being blessed with another sibling, turns my fears and anxiety into deep gratitude for the great privilege of carrying another life with me!

Motherhood is indeed a most precious gift!

Speaking of motherhood and gifts, Mother's day is just one week away! If you still haven't found something special for the beautiful mama(s) you may be shopping for, I'd love to help you:

1. A Beautiful Potted Plant

Instead of a bouquet that will only last a few days, give her something that will last all summer! Local, family-owned greenhouses have the best selection of flower baskets and potted plants. Or, put a little extra love into it, and design one for her yourself!

2. A Frame Worthy Quote

I love all of the beautiful work my friend, Katrina, offers on her Etsy Shoppe, Hatch Prints. Put one of her works of art in a pretty frame, and it makes a truly lovely gift.

3. A Pretty Bottle of Wine

This is your excuse to buy a bottle based on the label alone. When I spotted this one, I couldn't resist! Write a toast to your special mom, and attach it to the bottle, for an extra nice touch.

4. My Saint My Hero Accessories

I'm really loving so many of the pieces from this shoppe. You'll be sure to find a perfect gift for the spiritual mom here.

5. Write Her a Letter (On Pretty Paper)

Hand written notes are a lost treasure and, though simple, can make the most memorable gifts. My sister has sent me a variety of stationary from Rifle Paper Co., and it is all truly beautiful. They also offer many other gifts such as phone cases, calendars, and personal planners.

6. Perfectly Posh

You absolutely cannot go wrong with a gift that pampers. My super-fun and sassy friend, Tara just introduced me to a new line of products called Perfectly Posh. When she told me they are "natural" and made in the U.S.A., I was hooked! You can check out all of their fabulous products here.

HAPPY SHOPPING!!

A 20 Minute, Once a Day Power Clean With Your Kids In Five Simple Steps

2016-04-29T10:21:00.002-07:00

Happy Friday, Friends!

A couple of days ago, I shared a quick pic of the boys tackling a few of the tasks on our twenty-minute power clean list. This is a new idea/effort that I'm hoping will become a habit that will help us all keep the house a little cleaner before baby arrives. Since we've been working on it for a week now, I thought I'd write a little bit more about how the idea has taken off.

There are a couple of reasons why I decided to rethink our current housekeeping plan.

1. I'm nesting in a major way (almost 38 weeks)!

2. The boys' activity and school schedule is so full that finding time to clean is becoming more and more difficult. Read: the goober/dirt magnets I'm raising are taking over the house, and I cannot handle it any more!!!

Steve and I feel that it's very important to teach the boys good stewardship and generosity by requiring that they share in the maintenance of the home. A big family = bigger messes, more dishes, laundry, etc. etc. So we have to work as a team to keep the house running efficiently. Everyone around here helps out in some way, even the little ones.

{Sometime I will post in more specific detail the responsibilities that we set in front of the boys and at what ages we expect them to fulfill those responsibilities.}

But lately, especially with the older boys devoting more time to their studies and sports, it is becoming more and more challenging to tackle even the basic daily and weekly chores. And moms, for what it's worth, the housekeeping duties should not fall upon your shoulders alone. The home is the perfect environment for children to learn so many vital lessons on virtue and to also develop life-long skills that are unfortunately under appreciated and underrated, but no-less important to daily living and family harmony.

With our seventh angel due to make his/her entrance into the world any day now, I decided to come up with a simple, yet effective way to spread the housekeeping tasks out during the week, instead of trying to gather the troops to tackle the entire house in one laborious event.

This isn't really a new or novel idea, but for what it's worth, I'm throwing it out there for anyone who is also reconsidering the distribution of major chores during the week. Since we homeschool, I like to begin the day with our 20 minute power clean (that's what we're calling it). But, if you have kids at school, you could always try to squeeze it in after they get home, or right before/after supper.

The goal is not perfection, because there will be those days when things just don't go as planned. But, with consistency, I'm hoping that the home will not only be a more ordered and clean environment for us all, but a more peaceful one as well!

After breakfast is eaten, teeth are brushed and everyone is dressed, the 20 minute power clean method (so far) begins, following this plan:

1. Prayer and Scripture.

We keep it simple. Spontaneous prayer, the Our Father, Morning Offering or Angelus, then one of the boys reads a scripture passage for the day. I choose the verses ahead of time and make sure they are always virtue-centered so that they reinforce obedience, generosity, sacrifice, joy, helpfulness, attentiveness, kindness etc. You can Google "bible verses on (insert specific virtue)" to find a great just what you're looking for. No need to go into a long lecture here, just keep it sweet and simple. They'll be getting a small dose each day, so (fingers crossed) much of the teaching will eventually sink in.

2. Write the daily list of tasks on a white board or piece of paper.

Let the kiddos check the chores off as they go. They love to do that - it gives them so much satisfaction! And, it helps you to see what's been done in relation to how much time is left.

3. Assign tasks.

I like to start with asking for volunteers, and if there are not takers for the task, it simply gets assigned. Then, I briefly review how the tasks are to be completed if they require any instruction. I try not to labor to heavily over this. Things won't be done perfectly, but with praise and encouragement, the children will improve from week to week. Any task that is not completed will be finished before lunch or the next privileged event. *See our list of tasks below.

4. Turn on the music!

For our family, praise music and/or songs from my Christian play list are the only option during the power clean, but only because if we crank up the classic rock or country, it almost always results in a lot of air guitar and wrestling, and that's not what we're going for here. (Matt Maher and Third Day on the Pandora app were the boys' top picks this week.)

5. Set the timer.

This one doesn't need an explanation, but it is very important. The kids need to see the countdown, (and so do I!)

6. Inspection.

This is a really important step, and one not to be skipped because it gives us as parents the opportunity to praise and thank our kids, but also to teach them the value of finishing a task and finishing it well, as well as learning to embrace constructive criticism. I discovered this week that if I praised the boys individually to their father at the supper table, they worked even harder the following day!

7. Rewards!

This one is totally optional, and I'm not always big on rewards, but in this case, it's a necessary good. The boys know I'm a bit of a sugar nazi, so the thought of receiving donuts or a cereal of their choice on Saturday morning is highly motivating! Of course, this may not interest your older children, but perhaps a cash allowance or something more suitable to their ages might be.

Finally, here is a list of the tasks we are currently working from (many of them can be done more than once a week), and a few of the helpful cleaning items we used:

Task List:

Vacuum all rooms

Wipe down kitchen appliances and cabinets

Clean sinks and counter tops in bathrooms (every-other-day)

Sweep Kitchen and Dining Room Floors

Mop kitchen floor

Wipe down kitchen table, seating, and high-chair

Dust

Wipe dirty fingerprints off of doorknobs doors and walls

Clean mirrors and windows

Tidy up clothes drawers

Match/fold socks and laundry

Sweep off front porch and deck

Organize game cabinet and/or major toy area

Clean family vehicle (this one we do as a team, and it's the only task we focus on for the day.)

Clean Showers/Bathtubs (weekly)

Mop bathroom floors (weekly)

Water Flowers/Plants

Cleaning Products:

Cleaning products are such a personal preference, but if you're like me and always searching for effective/efficient items, here are a few that I can't do without:

1. Norwex Enviro Cloths. I know they are pricey, but so worth the investment. They clean EVERYTHING so well (even stains off of carpet!), and don't leave streaks. I can give a damp one to my toddler and turn him lose around the house. He loves to wipe down his high-chair and the bar stools for me.

2. Bona Mop System. I really love this for our kitchen floors. Nothing beats a good old fashioned hands and knees clean for the floors, but this is a great way to maintain the deep clean during the week. It doesn't leave streaks and is easy for kids to use. If we had more hard woods in the home, I would probably invest in the Norwex mop system, but since our kitchen/dining space is small, this works for us.

3. Baby wipes. Sounds crazy, I know, but we use these for detailing the car interior, because they are gentle and don't leave streaks or film.

4. Thieves Multi-Purpose Concentrate from Young Living. This is my go-to cleaner that I can let the boys use without worry over toxicity. It's the germ bomb, and a little goes a long way!

How do you tackle household tasks with your family, and what are your favorite products??

I'd love to hear about it!

Memories for Henry of Your First Holy Communion

2016-04-19T08:41:00.000-07:00

Henry is the fourth child in our family to receive his first Holy Communion. Because we homeschool, it is up to Steve and I to prepare him well for this beautiful sacrament. We used many of the same materials (scripture, this book, this one, and this one, too), engaged in daily conversations about the Eucharist, and prayed with him as we did when preparing his older brothers.

But, Henry's preparation was different from the others in the sense that, as his parents, our own personal relationship with the sacrament has deepened significantly over the past two years since Steve has been ill.

It's a difficult thing to grasp, the mystery, the gift, the glory of the Eucharist and how it is all charged with unfathomable graces, graces steeped in the sacrificial love of the cross. For Steve and I, the cross of Lyme disease and mold toxicity has drawn us in more deeply to this mystery, and our utter dependence upon the graces we receive from the Eucharist naturally shape the way in which we approach the formation of our children.

As Henry grows and matures into manhood, perhaps he will remember very little of the time we spent preparing him for this spiritual milestone. But I do hope, with all my heart, that what we have taught him is not limited to our time of study together, but that his knowledge flourishes and takes root deep in his soul through a real and continual example of love and devotion to the sacrament by his father and I as well as his older siblings.

Memories For Henry of Your First Holy Communion...

For weeks leading up to your special day, you continually asked, "How many days until I get to receive Jesus?" I loved your great anticipation and awareness of what was to come.

{Thank you to my friend, Kristen, for the great photos!}

Tradition is very important to our family, and one tradition that began with your brother, Benedict, was that all of the boys in our family would wear the same attire for your 1st Communions, the necktie being the most important. Unfortunately, the red striped First Communion tie got mixed in with the clothes that were laundered during our mold remediation and was ruined. You were a great sport about it, though, and did not complain about having to wear something different.

This picture of you with Fr. Aaron is great! He is an incredible priest, and you admire him very much. I have a feeling you will always remember Father and the great enthusiasm he has for our Catholic faith. He is a great blessing to our family and to our parish!

{Easy Printable Banner Letters}

On your special day, I woke up very early to decorate the house and to prepare the brunch before Mass. Before the sun was up, I heard the faint sound of footsteps on the stairway carpet and I knew, without a doubt, that it was you who would be the first to greet me that morning. You were so eager to admire all of the decorations and to get dressed in your special attire.

Because Holy Mass is early at our parish, we decided to host a celebratory brunch afterward instead of waiting until lunch. You helped me plan the menu:

Egg & Mushroom Kielbasa Casserole

Bacon

Cinnamon Rolls

Cranberry Orange Scones

Mini Lemon Poppyseed Muffins

Fruit Platter

Assorted Juices & Coffee

{Recipe Links}

When I asked you what you would like for me to bake, you chose three things (THREE! Really??), and I just couldn't say no to your innocent, enthusiastic request.

{We decided to make candy-dipped pretzels instead of a traditional cake.}

You even helped me do all of the shopping earlier that week, and we stayed up on Friday night making your party favors while watching the Royals beat the Twins. We had so much fun!

You and your brothers declared the brunch to be a feast, and stuffed yourselves with multiple helpings of everything. Watching you guys eat with such gusto is something I will never grow tired of.

Thankfully the weather was so nice out that day that you were all able to jump off all of the sugar on the basketball court and trampoline. Even Rose thought she was a part of the party!

We don't have very many pictures of you with your Godparents, Uncle Doug and Aunt Jen, so this one is a treasure. They gave you the chalice tie clip that you proudly wore to Holy Mass that day.

George has this very saint book and since you are always asking him if you may look at it, your dad and I thought you might enjoy having a copy of your own. The stories and illustrations in it are very beautiful.

Granny and Grandpa gave you a four-way medal, which included a description of what each symbol on the medal means. You wear it every day with the St. Henry medal we gave to you for your first reconciliation.

A good friend of mine suggested that we give you this Lego representation of the Mass, and I'm so glad that we did! You put it together right away, and it really is a fun memory of your reception of the sacrament. You can also use it to teach your younger brothers about the Mass.

Because the third name we chose for you is Augustine, you and I often talk about St. Augustine and his incredible conversion story. I know that at such a young age this quote from his writings is too deep for you to grasp, but I hope that one day (perhaps at your confirmation?) we can return to it and converse at greater length his inspiring words on the Eucharist:

"The Body of Christ" you are told, and you answer, "Amen." Be members then of the Body of Christ that your Amen may be true. Why is this mystery accomplished with bread? We shall say nothing of our own about it, rather let us hear the Apostle, who speaking of this sacrament say: "We, being many, are one body, one bread." Understand and rejoice. Unity, devotion, charity!

One bread: and what is this one bread? One body made up of many. Consider that the bread is not made of one grain alone, but of many. During the time of exorcism, you were, so to say, in the mill. At baptism you were wetted with water. Then, the Holy Spirit came into you like the fire which bakes the dough. Be then what you see and receive what you are.

Now for the chalice, my brethren, remember how wine is made. Many grapes hang on the bunch, but the liquid which runs out of them mingles together in unity. So has the Lord willed that we should belong to him and he has consecrated on his altar the mystery of our peace and unity."

{Excerpt taken from Catholicism - Christ and the Common Destiny of Man by Heri De Lubac}

Rise & Shine Breakfast Basket ~ A Gift For Mamas of Newborns

2016-04-06T11:57:00.000-07:00

Every time Steve and I welcome a new life into the world, we are truly spoiled by the kindness of family and friends who bring us delicious meals, thoughtful gifts, and offer to help with the little ones. One of the most memorable gifts I've received was given to me by a friend after the birth of our fourth son, Henry.

In lieu of freezer meals or new clothes, she brought me a breakfast basket. Aren't mornings the most difficult part of the day for mamas of newborns? They are for me! Her gift was such a bright surprise. Filling the basket were little baked goods, special coffee, jam, tea, and even a morning devotional with short readings that I could soak in before facing the day.

Her thoughtfulness and creativity has inspired me to to recreate the same gift for many of my friends over the years. After choosing a cute, sturdy basket, I usually line it with a lovely hand towel, and coordinate the gifts to match. Before delivering the basket below, I tucked in a few pieces of white tissue paper to fill in the empty spaces, and to provide a little bit of cushion for the breakable items.

Below is a list of ideas that might inspire you to make a breakfast basket for someone you know!

1. A bag of really good coffee.

2. Flavored syrup for the coffee.

3. A delicious tea in a pretty tin.

{I really like this brand, which you can usually find at Target.}

4. A special mug for the morning sips.

{The one I found in the picture above is from the Pioneer Woman line at Wal-Mart.}

5. Pancake Mix

{My favorite shortcut is to buy a quality mix, and add mini chocolate chips to it. Look for one that requires only the addition of milk or water. Be sure to measure out an exact serving size and place it in a pretty jar or sturdy bag, and write the directions on a label.}

5. Quick Breads, Scones, and Muffins

My go to recipes are for pumpkin bread, vanilla bean scones, and lemon poppyseed muffins. Just choose your time-tested favorites. Even a nice sized batch of one thing is great!

6. Gluten Free or Paleo Options

For the mom with special dietary needs, you can find a number of yummy gluten-free baked good recipes on my Pinterest page, and also a nice variety of Paleo options (including a delicious granola) on this page, too.

7. Devotionals

{Just a few of my favorites:}

Mornings With St. Therese

The Way, Furrow, The Forge

Trusting God Day by Day: 365 Daily Devotions

The Better Part

8. Energizing Essential Oil Blends

I love to keep essential oils beside my bed. A deep breath of their aroma in the morning, and a couple of drops on my wrists or behind the ears can have such an positive affect on my morning mood!

Elevation, Citrus Bliss, Past Tense from DoTerra

Clarity, En-R-Gee, Peace & Calm from Young Living

Do you have any suggestions for me?

What would you put in your breakfast basket?

The Answers to Every Question I've Ever Been Asked About Running During Pregnancy

2016-03-31T12:57:00.003-07:00

Can you believe it was almost 80 degrees here yesterday?

What a glorious feeling to crawl out of the cave of winter in the sunshine of spring! This time of year always fills me with a renewed energy to set goals and tackle projects inside and outside of the house. One of the goals on my list is to dedicate more time to blogging. The winter season was a rough one for our family, but now that we're finally coming up for fresh air after drowning in mold toxicity, Lyme disease, tonsil surgery and a broken collar bone, I think I might actually have enough energy to write!

One topic I miss writing about most is running. At 33 weeks, I've had to trade my running shoes in for a walking pair, but I'm okay with that. This is the longest I've ever been able to run during a pregnancy, and with just 7 weeks to go before baby (fingers crossed - they like to take their time entering the world), I'll be running again soon.

Over the past few years I've received a lot of questions from my readers about running during pregnancy, and thought it might be helpful to summarize those questions and answers all in one post for those of you who are looking for more information on the topic.

*Please note that I am not an expert in this field, or a trained medical professional. Always consult your doctor before beginning an exercise program while pregnant.

1. Is it okay to start running if I wasn't running before pregnancy?

The answer to this question depends on whether or not you were engaged in some type of exercise routine (besides running) prior to your pregnancy. If the answer is no, then I don't suggest you begin running right now. Walking, swimming, or Pilates designed for pregnancy are a better option for you. If, however, you exercised on a regular basis prior to pregnancy, and walking at a brisk pace brings you no discomfort, then running is definitely an option for you!

2. What are the benefits of running during pregnancy?

There are many wonderful benefits to running throughout your pregnancy (or as long as your body permits), which include more balanced hormones, increased energy, easier labor and delivery and quicker post-partum recovery. You can read a more detailed list here.

3. Do I need to change my regular workout attire?

For the most part, no. Thankfully, it's becoming easier to find fun, comfortable, and stylish maternity athletic wear in stores and online. But tights and tops aren't the most important things you should consider when it comes to running. The three items I suggest you focus on are:

:: bigger shoes

:: a better bra

:: the best belly support belt

Not everyone, but many of us naturally need to size up a bit in the shoe department during pregnancy. So, if you're clinging to your favorite pair of kicks, but notice that you're feet are feeling a bit squished in them, don't worry, you'll be able to sport them again one of these days. But for now, your feet need plenty of cushion, support, and wiggle room, so consider purchasing a new pair a half size, or size up.

As for the bra - keeping those girls tucked in neat and tidy means less chafing and more comfort during your run. Think structure, support, and sizing up (which is a bonus for people like me!) when looking for a new bra. Athleta and Title Nine both offer a wide variety of bras that meet very specific shapes and sizes, but if you're sticking to a budget, Target and athletic stores like Dick's Sporting goods will also provide a nice selection for you.

Finally, I cannot emphasize enough the importance of wearing a support belt (I really like this one). Not only will you find, as your tummy begins to grow, that the belt supports your expanding abdomen, but it also alleviates some of the pressure on your lower back and bottom, which can be quite a relief if you struggle with pain in either of those areas during pregnancy.

4. How fast and how far can I go?

Distance and speed are primarily determined by two things: the level of shape you are currently in, and your personal comfort level as you are working out. No matter what your exercise goals are for the day, you must listen to your body. If you're feeling overly fatigued, light-headed, short of breath, or experiencing ANY pain at all, you must stop running, or at least slow down if you are pushing the pace. Fighting through the pain is a familiar routine for many runners, but it shouldn't be during pregnancy, so listen to your body. With regards to distance, achieving a particular number of miles per day may be your goal, but perhaps not a realistic one right now. Consider running for a particular amount of time rather than distance, or if you just can't let go of your mileage, try mixing some walking in with the run to give your body the much needed break it is asking for.

5. What should I eat after a run?

While fuel is an important factor to consider when running, even more important is hydration. I cannot stress how vital it is for mamas to stay hydrated throughout their pregnancies, especially before and after a workout. Dehydration can be dangerous for baby and for you. If you plan to run (or take part in any exertive exercise) for thirty minutes or longer, then I highly recommend replenishing fluids with an electrolyte replacement. I prefer Nuun, because it is lower in sodium than Gatorade type drinks, it's very low in sugar, and doesn't contain any artificial ingredients such as food coloring or flavorings. If you are working out in warm weather, be sure to dress appropriately and consider carrying a hand-held water bottle (like this one) with you when you run/walk.

Post workout replenishment should be simple and nutritious (you really don't need as many calories as you might think). I like plain, non-fat Greek yogurt with fresh fruit, a small scoop of paleo granola with coconut milk, fruit and veggie smoothies with a whey protein mix (I like this one), or a banana topped with a couple of teaspoons of almond butter. Quality protein and slow digesting carbs will help repair your muscles and replenish your energy for the remainder of the day.

6. Should I consider my posture and form when running?

Yes! There are a couple of really important things to remember when it comes to posture. First, because your center of gravity is going to shift a bit as your tummy begins to grow (which can effect your balance), and your loosening joints and ligaments can also cause some instability, you will find it necessary to shorten your running stride. Doing so will give you greater stability, balance, and sense of security out on the road.

Second, take a posture check in the mirror. Is your expanding belly causing your back to arch? If you feel a dip in your lower back, try bringing your spine into a neutral position, by tucking your pelvis in a bit. The posture correction may feel a little strange at first, but really you are just aligning your spine over your hips, and this should take some pressure off of your lower back. In doing so, you will find a greater level of comfort while running by simply keeping the posture of your lower back in check.

7. Is it okay to race while pregnant?

To me, racing means training and working towards a PR, and pregnancy is not the time for either of those things. If your definition of racing means signing up for a local 5K and running/walking for fun with your friends, then sure, if you were running prior to pregnancy, go for it! On the other hand, if racing means long runs, speed work, and strength training to meet a goal race time, then it's time to set aside those ideals for the next few months. Shift your focus to the health and strength of your body for the benefit of the baby and to achieve a smother labor and delivery. What race could be more important?

8. What should I do about an overactive bladder while running?

Multiple births have a way of making a mom feel a little insecure when it comes to bladder control. My suggestion is to hydrate well throughout the day, but avoid drinking anything 1 hour before running. Then, be sure to replenish fluids post-run. Run close to home, in case you have an urgent need to go. And, if the motion of running is simply too much, it's simply time to start walking. I know that no one (including myself) likes to do those annoying pelvic floor exercises, but if it's a choice between being able to run and having to postpone exercise until after birth, then it may be well worth your time to devote a few minutes a day to doing them.

9. What are some signs that I should stop running?

I can speak with confidence in this arena, because I have had a myriad experiences over seven pregnancies. During some of them I felt fantastic running, while with others I wasn't able to endure more than a few weeks of running. The decision to stop running and switch to another form of exercise should primarily be determined by the first and most obvious symptom, which is pain or discomfort. Pain is always your signal to stop! Also, if you are unable to catch your breath, or feel extremely thirsty, do not continue running. Consistent low blood pressure or aching joints and ligaments post-run, may also be serious reasons to postpone any future runs. If you are going to run pregnant, you must run smart for your own safety and for baby's as well.

10. How did you run a marathon while pregnant?

Given the answer to question #7, I hope I don't sound like a hypocrite here. First of all, you should know that I didn't set out to run a marathon while pregnant. It was during the last couple of weeks of training for the Chicago Marathon that I discovered Steve and I were expecting baby #7. Since I was on the taper portion of my training, and was very early on in my pregnancy, I knew that I could finish the race if I fueled properly, paid extra careful attention to hydration, and abandoned any goals to finish with a PR.

Even though I faithfully followed through with those specific conditions, I was still pretty tired throughout the race (first trimester fatigue is tough!), but I finished, and was happy with that. If I were a newbie at running, I would not have attempted the race. But, with years of running experience and the advice of experts on my side, I was confident that I could make it to the finish line safely.

Looking for more information? I highly recommend these two resources:

1. Runner's World Guide to Running and Pregnancy by Chris Lundgren

2. Fit and Healthy Pregnancy by Kristina Pinto

Baby Calves and Broken Bones ~ Spring Break Part II

2016-03-23T12:47:00.004-07:00

It was somewhere around 2:00 in the afternoon a couple of Sundays ago when I felt that feeling. Driving home with the boys after a lovely weekend with my family, I was suddenly overwhelmed with a very strong intuitive feeling of concern for Steve and the boys, who were in Colorado skiing.

This isn't your normal mother's intuition, the one that tells you during your bathroom "break" that a toddler is drawing all over the walls with a Sharpie, or that the mysteriously quiet house means two boys have decided to take homeschool science into their own hands, and it involves flammables and a lighter.

It's deeper than that.

The feeling doesn't overwhelm me very often, but when it does, I can almost always be certain that it's soon to be followed by a difficult or stressful event. The first time I experienced it, I was in high-school, and ever since then it has been a pretty accurate predictor of everything from bad break-ups to flight delays.

At first I tried to talk myself out of the possibility that anything could potentially be wrong. After all, I did have some pretty convincing photo evidence that their manly trip to the mountains was nothing short of fantastic.

Behold:

Hey mom, we're on top of the world!

Getting ready to race down the ~~bunny slopes~~ blacks.

He has my baby....in a bar! (Sweet Home Alabama?)

Stuffed with the "most amazing pizza in the whole entire world!"

I obviously had nothing to worry about, right?

Nasty intuition. Of course it wouldn't go away, so I did what I usually do when the feeling gets to nagging me - I began to pray. Then, the phone rang. It was you know who.

I did the whole Jesus take the wheel thing, took a deep breath, and waited for the voice on the other end to deliver the news.

Hi Honey. We're in the ER. George fell on the mountain and broke his right collar bone.

What was screaming in my head: They were racing, weren't they????

You let them race down the mountain on the last run????

He's going to be fine. The rest of us are okay, I'll call you later with more details.

What I said: Okay, be safe (haha), I love you all.

{BIG exhale.}

The very second the name George passed through the receiver, my heart broke in two.

I hope I don't sound insensitive when I say that if it were any of the other boys, I wouldn't have been as upset as I was over George. But, its true.

George has been counting down the days until baseball and track club practices begin. His heart condition limits the sports he can participate in (no high-contact or high-exertion), including football, wrestling, and basketball, all of which are his first loves.

I admire him so much for trying to stay positive despite his limitations, but its impossible for him to hide the sadness that stirs deep inside his heart while pacing the sidelines at all of the football games and wrestling meets he so desperately wants to be a part of.

When they arrived home the next day, the very first thing George said to me was, "Does this mean I can't run track? What about baseball, is that out too?"

I don't know why God allows some of our children to struggle and to suffer more than others. It's easy for me as an adult to look George in the eye and tell him with deepest sincerity and truth that God has a great plan for his life, and that his injuries and ailments are all a part of that plan. For Geoge to believe me - that's the hard part.

If it seems as though nothing positive can possibly come out of an unexpected injury, I want to reassure you that it very well can.

The day-to-day energy and activity in our home is full of a mixture of emotions and conversations that spring from brotherly competition, teasing, laughing, fighting...they are just normal boys. But, when one guy is down, all the other guys come to the rescue. They take comfort and take care of each other in the most amazing ways.

Children are capable of exhibiting so much more kindness and compassion that we realize.

Henry insisted that George wear his favorite Spider Man pajamas, even though they're 2 sizes too small. He looks like a Hobbit with those high waters and big feet!

The night after George's appointment with the orthopedist, he needed a lot of help from both Steve and I to get in and out of the shower and dress himself. After we finished, I opened the door to our bedroom only to find five brothers waiting patiently outside, wondering how their injured teammate was faring.

Andrew was the first person in. He went straight over to George (who was still crying from the discomfort of getting his brace and sling back on), and asked him what he could do to help. Not satisfied with the "nothing" answer, he left the room and promptly came back with a hair dryer.

Can I dry your hair for you, George? Would that make you feel better?

Really? Steve and I just looked at one another in total amazement.

You all know by now that I was doing the pregnant cry, all the while the boys were shouting between giggles, "Yeah! Spike it up! Give him a mohawk!" It was an 80's hair event to behold.

People often love others in the way that they want to be loved. I learned a lot about Andrew's heart that day, and have been so thankful that the boys' hearts have all been stretched in charity and thoughtfulness, to think more of someone else and less of themselves in the present circumstances.

I hope that one day George will be able to look back on this time and remember what it felt like to be loved and cared for by his brothers, and that those memories will overcome the sadness that he has felt from missing a springtime of baseball and track.

Baby Calves and Broken Bones ~ Spring Break Part I

2016-03-16T15:50:00.002-07:00

Happy spring break, my friends! I always look forward to spring break so much. It makes me feel like we're on the final lap of the school year, and that summer and all of it's delights, including a newborn baby (heaven!) and margaritas on the porch (bliss!) are just around the corner.

I'm writing our spring break tales in two posts, because our family had two different adventures over the weekend. I took Charles and Joseph to my hometown to visit family, while Steve hauled the older troops to Colorado for a few days of skiing.

Let's just say that one story is cute and cuddly, and the other is more of crash-n-burn type. I'm going for the cute and cuddly story today, because I feel that you would all rather see adorable pics of newborn baby calves than x-rays of broken bones. Amiright??

Since I couldn't get anyone to support the idea that a 31 week pregnant mom can totally handle the bunny slopes, I opted to stay home from the mountain trek and plan my own little adventure with the littles.

After chatting with my brother Scott, who let me know that calving season at his farm was in full swing, I knew that Charlie and Joseph would have a great time visiting my parents and seeing all of the fresh little cutie pies.

This mama loves her boss! Look how close she let him get to her chipmonk!

The little guy was born about an hour before we arrived.

Scott and his family live on the homestead where my dad grew up, just a few miles from my childhood home. I have the most wonderful memories of visiting my grandparents there as a child. Their farm was a joyful place where love, laughter, good times, great food, and chores where never in short supply.

Managing the cow-calf operation and farming are really what Scott loves most, but all of it has to be done in the evenings, or on weekends, when he's not working at his full time job as an electrical lineman.

Anytime we get to go home for a visit, the boys automatically throw their work clothes in the suitcase, because they know that Scott will always have a list of chores that they can help with. Since he's the daddy of three adorable little girls, I don't think Scott will ever say no to a bunch of wild farm boys who want to work!

The first afternoon that we took the boys to see the calves, it was cold and drizzly outside, so the babies were tucked in pretty close to their mamas.

But the next day the weather was beautiful, and the calves were ever-so-happy to be out in the pasture scampering around as far as their mamas would let them roam.

I think sometimes the media paints a very sad and inaccurate picture of most beef producers. Their descriptions lead us to believe that the animals live in miserable, cramped conditions, waiting in line for their food rations and daily shots of antibiotics, steroids, and hormones, while the farmer sits in his easy chair calculating his booming profits.

That just isn't so. Not on this farm.

In fact, I was amazed at how incredibly relaxed and calm all of Scott's cows were, despite the fact that we were walking close to them and their babies. And that's simply because he's out there with them every day, giving them such great care. They have plenty of room to roam, and the pens that separate the bulls from the heifers were clean, and fences tidy.

A trip to the farm is never complete without a four-wheeler ride around the pastures. Grandpa made sure Charlie got to be the pilot. Aside from the near immersion in the pond, they both rolled back to the barn smiling from ear-to-ear.

Then there's Jophis.

Just looking at that danger-seeker's hyper-focused face makes my hair grey.

That's better. I love me some sweet, squishy cheeked Jophis.

I treasure this picture of my dad holding his grandson. I could never have imagined as a child running around picking eggs and playing hide-and-seek on the farm where my dad grew up, that one day I would be watching my own children play in its pastures.

There's something so indescribably special about the way a particular place can weave itself into the life story of generations of souls, and how that place will always be where those souls come back together with their memories and experiences and feel connected.

Of the dozens of snapshots I took over the weekend, I have to say that these are my favorite. Even though my dad spent most of his life career in the world of banking, he will be the first to remind you that you can take the boy out of the farm, but you can never take the farm out of the boy!

That's one proud farm boy with his beautiful bride!

Stay tuned for part two, of the spring break story!