tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-69440969517133509562013-05-25T00:59:06.017+01:00SNAnoreply@blogger.comBlogger168125some-newshttp://feedburner.google.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6944096951713350956.post-10853890500305064872013-05-23T15:24:00.000+01:002013-05-23T15:24:13.499+01:00<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-TjeiBkN8Tw4/UZ4lHM4d3NI/AAAAAAAACKQ/tE7i_8thwmQ/s1600/fumes.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-TjeiBkN8Tw4/UZ4lHM4d3NI/AAAAAAAACKQ/tE7i_8thwmQ/s320/fumes.jpg" align=right style=margin:7px /></a>Another headline that caught my eye tells of "Men Overcome by 'Dangerous' Toilet Fumes". Let's be honest, we've all had that. And I don't just mean from something you ate. Forget to flush after you've put bleach down, go for gold and you can make chlorine gas. That's either real science or something I dreamed once. Either way, it's a worry.<br /><br />The two men were taken to hospital and their building evacuated. Wow. Talk about, "I'd give it a minute if I were you." I've cleared a room before, but never a building.<br /><br />The men, believed to be in their 60s, suffered breathing difficulties after sulphuric acid had been mixed with toilet clearer in the bowl, creating a dangerous gas.<br /><br />Forget the gas, why were they pouring H2SO4 down the lav? How bad were the skids that a di-basic acid was needed? So many questions in this story, none of which I want answered.<br /><br />It ends OK though. The East of England Ambulance Service said the men were treated and stabilised before being taken to Southend Hospital. And hopefully prescribed some fibre.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">>Read the <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-22624161" title="Read the news story behind the topical comedy article" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" >source story</a></div>SNAnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6944096951713350956.post-55221764563680363072013-05-22T20:31:00.000+01:002013-05-22T20:31:08.199+01:00<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OlUuBSynfR8/UZ0cierLThI/AAAAAAAACKA/2q-1vMX2YTw/s1600/phone.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OlUuBSynfR8/UZ0cierLThI/AAAAAAAACKA/2q-1vMX2YTw/s320/phone.jpg" width=180px align=right style=margin7px /></a>According to a new survey 94% of Brits would rather live without sex than their mobile phone.<br /><br />Hmm, an interesting dilemma. Well, I pay monthly for it so I wouldn't want to be without it... so I'd keep the sex.<br /><br />Kidding! I don't pay monthly for sex. That's more of a pay as you go deal.<br /><br />I guess it makes sense. I'd be better at going without sex than my phone because I have put the practice in. Since Motorola brought out their brick I've always had a phone. During the same time I haven't always had sex. In many ways using a mobile is better than sex. Although you'll get tutted at if you do either in a train's quiet carriage.<br /><br />Also in the survey 9% admitted they preferred their mobile phones to their children. If you would've stuck to your phones instead of having sex in the first place you wouldn't be having these regrets now.<br /><br />Thankfully this is all theoretical. You don't actually have to pick between your phone and having sex. In fact, put it on vibrate and you're well on your way to having both at once. You can always try "sexting". I did that the other day. It's great. It's the only way I can get those PPI people to leave me alone.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">>Read the <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2327831/94-UK-adults-live-sex-mobile-phone.html" title="Read the news story behind the topical comedy article" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" >source story</a></div>SNAnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6944096951713350956.post-24797337405254462702013-05-21T11:29:00.000+01:002013-05-21T11:33:16.006+01:00<a href="http://www.somenews.co.uk/search/label/SNLiveVid" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rLVMIL0XsRc/UZtDVOqATgI/AAAAAAAACJc/XwZdOix4pvk/s320/Screenshot+from+2013-05-21+10:44:27.png" align=right style=margin:7px alt="Mr Steve N Allen live topical comedy" /></a>Every week at <a href="http://www.somenews.co.uk/2012/09/the-monday-night-news-show.html" target="_blank" >The Monday Night News Show</a> in London <a href="http://www.somenews.co.uk/" target="_blank" >SomeNews.co.uk</a> goes live.<br /><br />Below is a short video from this week's show. In it we look at the latest trouble the Tories are having. Europe and the gay marriage vote are causing some problems for them.<br /><br />Have a look...<br /><br /><br /><center><iframe width="530" height="298" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/mxAzkqu2xLs?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen><a href="http://youtu.be/mxAzkqu2xLs"><img src="http://s7.postimg.org/f6ik30ua3/Screenshot_from_2013_05_21_11_10_07.png"></a></iframe><br /><a href="http://youtu.be/mxAzkqu2xLs" title="Watch on YouTube" target="_blank" >Watch on YouTube</a> or <a href="http://k005.kiwi6.com/hotlink/124i5dvr8f/somenews_live_from_200513_.avi">download the avi</a></center><br />At the actual gig we also covered Sir Alex Ferguson's retirement, David Beckham's retirement and something to do with Primark. Come and <a href="http://www.somenews.co.uk/2012/09/the-monday-night-news-show.html" target="_blank" >see the show live any Monday</a>.<br /><br />P.S. <a href="http://www.somenews.co.uk/search/label/SNLiveVid">Here are all the topical videos from past Monday Night News Shows - check them out</a>.<br /><br />P.P.S. <a href="http://www.somenews.co.uk/2013/03/mr-steve-n-allen-at-brighton-comedy.html">For the next two weeks you can see SomeNews live at the Brighton Fringe - the full length topical stand-up show</a>.SNAnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6944096951713350956.post-71170489814558955452013-05-20T00:11:00.000+01:002013-05-20T00:11:01.420+01:00<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-etoy-wFbkzo/UZlbsIc7iJI/AAAAAAAACJI/_ASrtc5QSI0/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-etoy-wFbkzo/UZlbsIc7iJI/AAAAAAAACJI/_ASrtc5QSI0/s320/images.jpg" align=right style=margin:7px /></a>To Prague, where there are plans to run an underground train for people to try and find someone to pull. It's a special "love train". Or if you're the kind of perv who enjoys rubbing your crotch into the person in front of you during rush hour, it's just like every other train.<br /><br />The plan is to have a special section on some trains where single commuters will go and potentially find a partner while travelling. You'll be able to tell which carriage it is as there will be a sign, and it'll just be full of fat businessmen.<br /><br />I hope the rules are enforced. If you get on there with a wedding ring you should get tutted at like someone using a mobile phone in the quiet carriage.<br /><br />Some people don't like the idea. One male passenger said: "When I'm in a rush, I enter the first open door I see. I should watch out now and make sure no one starts seducing me." Don't worry, take it from me, you get used to it.<br /><br />Still, it's nice to know you can meet someone and get off a few minutes later.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">>Read the <a href="http://metro.co.uk/2013/05/19/underground-love-trains-for-single-commuters-3800553/" title="Read the news story behind the topical comedy article" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" >source story</a></div>SNAnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6944096951713350956.post-76458732799680604322013-05-18T18:35:00.000+01:002013-05-18T18:35:28.889+01:00<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vCwB2kgNTGo/UZe7M0t9InI/AAAAAAAACI4/J8SjW-yyvKM/s1600/download.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vCwB2kgNTGo/UZe7M0t9InI/AAAAAAAACI4/J8SjW-yyvKM/s320/download.jpg" width=180px align=right style=margin:7px /></a>Venezuela is running out of toilet roll. It's causing a national panic. Now is not a good time to be a Labrador puppy over there, you could be shot on sight.<br /><br />People over there have been panic buying loo roll. It's tricky, because you don't want to panic too much, or you'll have an accident and use up all your supply.<br /><br />The paper shortage is an embarrassing episode for new president Nicolas Maduro, who was chosen as Hugo Chavez’s successor before the iconic leader’s death in March. He has to be careful how he plays this. Take a lead from Marie Antoinette and don't say, "Let them use a bidet."<br /><br />One person caught up in this told a journalist, "I’ve been looking for it for two weeks. I was told that they had some here and now I’m in line."<br /><br />It just makes you realise how lucky we are. Even the people suffering in the Eurozone countries don't have that problem. In fact, as the Euro fails and the notes are worth the paper they're printed on, if anything they have more paper to wipe their arses with.<br /><br />The government has promised to import 50 million rolls in the next few weeks and has blamed the shortage on anti-Maduro forces attempting to destabilise the country.<br /><br />Yes. If I wanted to bring down a nation I'd do it by cutting off their bog roll supply. You know what they say, "society is two meals away from anarchy". I think it's probably two poos away from it too.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">>Read the <a href="http://metro.co.uk/2013/05/18/venezuela-toilet-paper-shortage-embarrasses-president-nicolas-maduro-3795901/" title="Read the news story behind the topical comedy article" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" >source story</a></div><br />SNAnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6944096951713350956.post-30942987042252550662013-05-17T08:48:00.000+01:002013-05-17T08:48:12.921+01:00<img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-uvn6NTQnJlg/UZXgFID0_LI/AAAAAAAACIY/mdEM9bVhr3o/s320/Screenshot+at+2013-05-17+08:44:23.png" align=right style=margin:7px alt="" />A man in Sweden has died after having sex with a hornet's nest.<br /><br />Did it have HIV? Wow, shocker!<br /><br />No, a 35-year-old man was discovered with 146 stings on his body, of which 54 were on his genitals.<br /><br />I can't help thinking one of his mates will be at the funeral sobbing, "Why didn't he listen!? I didn't say, 'Get yourself a horNET...'"<br /><br />He was left so bloated by the fatal incident, neighbours mistook him for a whale carcass when they saw his inflamed body lying on a lawn.<br /><br />So the moral of the story is, don't try to have sex with hornets. And if you need to be told that I should also say don't try to nail your face to a post, lick the electrified rail on The London Underground, or try to quit breathing for Lent. I'm here to help.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">>Read the <a href="http://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/view/314701/" title="Read the news story behind the topical comedy article" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" >source story</a></div><br /><br /><br />SNAnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6944096951713350956.post-60417062234104780902013-05-15T12:14:00.000+01:002013-05-15T12:14:51.428+01:00<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7wJnwTT6PPI/UZNtgLIHr2I/AAAAAAAACHo/c4QO3zJjzkQ/s1600/Screenshot+at+2013-05-15+12:09:56.png" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7wJnwTT6PPI/UZNtgLIHr2I/AAAAAAAACHo/c4QO3zJjzkQ/s320/Screenshot+at+2013-05-15+12:09:56.png" align=right style=margin:7px alt="" /></a>My favourite headline of the day, from the Express...<br /><br />"The Duchess of Cambridge claims top spot in favourite pregnant celebrity hairstyle poll"<br /><br />Wow. Who knew they did a poll of people's favourite hairstyles of pregnant celebrities? That gets to the bottom of the issues that everyone's talking about.<br /><br />I tried to make my own list of favourite pregnant celebrity hairstyles after reading this. I was a list of only one person because I couldn't think of more. And the only reason there was one on the list was because I'd just read about Kate Middleton.<br /><br />It's Fabriah.com that surveyed 350 women about who had the best hair while pregnant. I've read the rest of the survey and it includes people like Halle Berry and Frankie Sandford from The Saturdays.<br /><br />Sadly it let me down. I was hoping that somewhere in the results would be a celebrity with nice hair but who isn't actually pregnant, they've just got fat lately. Shame.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">>Read the <a href="http://www.express.co.uk/news/royal/399576/The-Duchess-of-Cambridge-claims-top-spot-in-favourite-pregnant-celebrity-hairstyle-poll" title="Read the news story behind the topical comedy article" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" >source story</a></div>SNAnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6944096951713350956.post-45543077010135707302013-05-14T08:45:00.000+01:002013-05-14T08:45:23.761+01:00<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NJsJ-n9azGc/UZHqa_BCuII/AAAAAAAACHE/wxLxW_WZtWQ/s1600/Screenshot+at+2013-05-14+08:40:16.png" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NJsJ-n9azGc/UZHqa_BCuII/AAAAAAAACHE/wxLxW_WZtWQ/s320/Screenshot+at+2013-05-14+08:40:16.png" align=right style=margin:7px /></a>Nearly a third of people would rather do housework or go to a Justin Bieber concert that do physical exercise, according to what I can only assume was a badly worded survey.<br /><br />Do these people realise it's not and either or? If Bieber has managed to convince people he's the only alternative to the gym no wonder he's the biggest celeb in the world. He's be as popular as obesity, and that's doing very well these days.<br /><br />Maybe that's why he didn't get too many complaints when he was two hours late to start his shows. People were thinking, "Well, this is annoying but it's two hours where I haven't have to try and work out while no-necked guys make me feel bad."<br /><br />The same survey asked people who often they exercised. 32% said once a month. That's an awful lot of going to see Justin. Seeing him once a month. <br /><br />But let's not forget there was another option. Doing housework. I could just do a bit of housework and save myself from the gym and JB? Brill. And it explains why teenagers have such messy rooms. That's science.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">>Read the <a href="https://twitter.com/mrstevenallen/status/334192803351511040" title="Read the news story behind the topical comedy article" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" >source story</a></div>SNAnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6944096951713350956.post-33970595078757019672013-05-13T07:58:00.002+01:002013-05-13T07:58:39.550+01:00<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-r4hMvHoxBto/UZCO2r4PBzI/AAAAAAAACGg/rFfQIKnjB5c/s1600/Screenshot+at+2013-05-13+07:57:14.png" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-r4hMvHoxBto/UZCO2r4PBzI/AAAAAAAACGg/rFfQIKnjB5c/s320/Screenshot+at+2013-05-13+07:57:14.png" align=right style=margin:7px alt="" /></a>Bidialectalism is on the increase. Fair enough. Whatever you get up to in your own home.<br /><br />This is actually a condition where people speak with two distinct accents. Apparently it's on the rise in the UK.<br /><br />On the rise? I thought it was already at 100%. We all have our normal voice with our normal accent, and then we have the voice that we use on the phone, in case someone important has called.<br /><br />I saw it when I was growing up in the north. I'd hear, "Ey up mi duck, phone's ringin'! I'll gerrit! *click* Hello, the Allen residence."<br /><br />Even then I used to think, "I doubt the Queen has our number."<br /><br />You can tell when someone is using their telephone voice because they say yourself and myself. "OK, what we can do for yourself is send yourself a letter about this from myself. Is that OK for yourself?"<br /><br />Apparently the rise of bidialectalism is because we sometimes have to alter our accents to be more easily understood. No, no need. If you have an accent that means no one can understand you, just get a job at a call centre.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">>Read the <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/10051181/Ey-oop-one-can-switch-accents.html" title="Read the news story behind the topical comedy article" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" >source story</a></div><br />SNAnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6944096951713350956.post-38860883710269880662013-05-08T21:19:00.000+01:002013-05-08T21:19:39.982+01:00<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YbxJHNSYY04/UYqm1TVYUwI/AAAAAAAACFQ/xqbRbNVOpPM/s1600/suspect__north_yorks_police.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YbxJHNSYY04/UYqm1TVYUwI/AAAAAAAACFQ/xqbRbNVOpPM/s320/suspect__north_yorks_police.jpg" align=right style=margin:7px alt="" /></a>Police in York are hunting a young woman who attacked a teenager while dressed as the Incredible Hulk.<br /><br />Credit where it's due, that's dedication to the role. With acting like that she'd be sacked from Hollyoaks for being too good.<br /><br />The woman was covered in green body paint with dyed red hair but is believed to be a white woman, in her late teens or early twenties and around 5ft 8in tall.<br /><br />Well, she was 5ft 8in while in Hulk mode. Anyone who's seen the TV show will know the Hulk is taller than the normal human. So I think we should be on the look out for a woman who's about 5ft 2in.<br /><br />PC Cheryl Hunter said: "This appears to have been a wholly unprovoked assault." Unprovoked? I bet something made her angry. And we wouldn't like her when she's angry.<br /><br />She added: "If you witnessed the assault or can identify the woman I need to speak to about this incident, I ask that you contact the police or Crimestoppers straight away."<br /><br />I think they need to check the roads heading out of the town, for a woman walking away on her own, and a piano player.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">>Read the <a href="http://web.orange.co.uk/article/quirkies/Police_seek_female_Incredible_Hulk" title="Read the news story behind the topical comedy article" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" >source story</a></div>SNAnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6944096951713350956.post-76537966235450145742013-05-07T10:54:00.001+01:002013-05-07T10:54:29.621+01:00<img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rHwfkPLnEts/UYjOgZdHjsI/AAAAAAAACEw/dv6nxOmJ2UM/s320/PHOTO_20130507_104752.jpg" align=right style=margin:7px alt="My Happy Face" />A new survey says the happiest man in Britain is probably called Steve. Interesting. I wonder if it's me? If it is me, that would be great. I've never won anything before. Winning the title of happiest man in Britain would cheer me right up, because I've been a bit down of late and... oh.<br /><br />The fact that the picture in the item is me doing my happy face was a bit of a give away.<br /><br />The study looked at the most content people and worked out that the the happiest man is likely to be a 60-year-old married teacher named Steve, living close to Edinburgh.<br /><br />If you are a 60-year-old married teacher named Steve, living close to Edinburgh, this puts a lot of pressure on you. If you're not feeling that happy it will really make you think you've failed. Life gives you the best hand and you don't play it right.<br /><br />The study also claimed that he is likely to have grey hair, blue eyes, wear glasses and love spending time with his family and friends. This is getting creepy now. It's like they're doing a cold reading. If they guess the name of his dog I'm going to call it witchcraft.<br /><br />The survey has some interesting findings. Researchers who carried out the study said: "Men were found to be happier than women." That makes sense. It's far more likely that a man will be called Steve than a woman will. <br /><br />And the lighter someone's hair was the happier they were found to be, and the most joyful Britons were also more likely to wear glasses.<br /><br />This makes the game of Game Who a piece of cake. Your first question is, "Does your person look happy?" and if they say, "Yes," it's Paul.<br /><br /><center><img src='http://img12.imageshack.us/img12/763/screenshotat20130507104.png' border='0'/></center><br /><div style="text-align: right;">>Read the <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/10037154/Happiest-man-in-Britain-is-blue-eyed-Steve.html" title="Read the news story behind the topical comedy article" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" >source story</a></div>SNAnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6944096951713350956.post-44103923222784486452013-05-06T23:56:00.000+01:002013-05-06T23:56:24.729+01:00<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-J4zjv2Kzgm4/UYg0HZK7ZHI/AAAAAAAACEg/DNZm0VU0myA/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-J4zjv2Kzgm4/UYg0HZK7ZHI/AAAAAAAACEg/DNZm0VU0myA/s320/images.jpg" align=right style=margin:7px /></a>Poor Justin Bieber. He has been attacked by one of his fans as he performed during a concert in Dubai. No wonder he keeps turning up two hours late, he's waiting for the nutters to get tired.<br /><br />I thought they were loving him on that tour. He won them over on Saturday in Dubai when he withdrew one of his songs, One Less Lonely Girl, out of respect for the country's Muslim faith. Muslims hate it when you say less when it should be fewer.<br /><br />Being attacked by a fan is terrible. I feel your pain JB. It's the price of fame. I've been attacked by one of my adoring fans once. It was in East London when a man came up to me. At first I assumed he just wanted an autograph, but he said, "Give me your wallet!"<br /><br />Imagine that, such a megafan that he wanted something personal of mine. "Give me your f***ing wallet," he repeated. These fans do get over excited when they meet their idol.<br /><br />I pointed out that it was always nice to meet a fan but my wallet had all my Nectar card vouchers in it so I didn't want to lose it. "Don't make me cut you, man," he said. I didn't even know you could add me to your fantasy football team, but some fans will always find a way. I didn't want to break his heart so I gave him the wallet. I offered to sign it but he ran off. It's easy to forget how embarrassed superfans can get when they meet a star.<br /><br />The whole thing was kind of strange as I hadn't even done a gig round there. Oh well.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">>Read the <a href="http://news.sky.com/story/1087342/justin-bieber-attacked-by-fan-on-dubai-stage" title="Read the news story behind the topical comedy article" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" >source story</a></div>SNAnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6944096951713350956.post-20753646478754354672013-05-04T19:52:00.000+01:002013-05-04T19:52:50.981+01:00<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1nZStVM2B9w/UYVYWjEkMfI/AAAAAAAACDM/2Se8NJqP-uA/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1nZStVM2B9w/UYVYWjEkMfI/AAAAAAAACDM/2Se8NJqP-uA/s320/images.jpg" align=right style=margin:7px /></a>To Mexico City, Mexico (you guessed the last bit, right) where a woman has given birth on the Underground system. Staff and police helped her, everything is fine and the baby boy has been given free travel on the Mexico City underground for life.<br /><br />What a beautiful story. But let's just compare it to what would happen if someone popped a sprog on the London Underground system.<br /><br />Firstly, if someone started going into labour on the Tube, I'm not sure people would help, but they'd certainly offer some tuts because she's not keeping the noise down.<br /><br />As soon as the baby is born she'd be entitled to sit in the "person with children" seat, but some skillful avoiding of eye contact could sort that. Thanks Metro, you make not looking at anyone on the Tube so much easier. You're worth every penny.<br /><br />And as for the free travel for life for the baby, not a chance. In fact, seeing as the baby could "tap out" with an Oyster card but didn't "tap in", it would have to pay the full zone 6 ticket cost.<br /><br />It looks like the London Underground system is bad, but they have the right idea. We shouldn't be rewarding mothers for giving birth on a platform. In a recession, expectant mums will be hanging around in stations hoping to get their babies free travel. Women would be riding on the Circle line just going round and round.<br /><br />Heck, it's already started. I saw a couple trying to conceive on the Central line a few months back. I assume they were doing it for the free tickets. They were at it a long while, Marble Arch to Mile End. Wow. If I'm honest, I'm jealous. I'd probably just do it on the Waterloo & City line.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">>Read the <a href="http://www.emirates247.com/offbeat/this-is-life/baby-born-in-metro-station-gets-to-ride-free-for-life-2013-05-03-1.505010" title="Read the news story behind the topical comedy article" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" >source story</a></div>SNAnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6944096951713350956.post-32371433396699626392013-05-01T23:30:00.000+01:002013-05-02T01:29:29.091+01:00<img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_tKbJXW4JAk/UYGT9_TYS-I/AAAAAAAACC8/JjoJ_t3Fr-0/s320/Screenshot+at+2013-05-01+23:13:28.png" imageanchor="1" align=right style=margin:7px />Like Batman, Star Wars, Doctor Who and for some reason Mr Bean, SomeNews now has a cartoon spin-off. It's an animated version of the normal news you've come to expect from SomeNews.<br /><br />In this first episode we look at a new survey about people injuring themselves in the bathroom. It turns out it is one of the most dangerous rooms in the house. The survey also looks at the types of injuries sustained while in there. I'm amazed that 'getting paper cuts' wasn't on the list.<br /><br />Have a look...<br /><br /><center><iframe width="500" height="281" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/aaPyjxepREc?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen><a href="http://youtu.be/aaPyjxepREc" title="Watch it on YouTube" target="_blank" ><img src="http://s24.postimg.org/dgxqndwqd/Screenshot_at_2013_05_01_23_23_43.png" border="0" atl="SomeNews Cartoon - Bathrooms" ></a></iframe><br /><a href="http://youtu.be/aaPyjxepREc" title="Watch it on YouTube" target="_blank" >Watch it on YouTube</a></center><br />And yes, animated Steve has more hair than real Steve, but animated Æon Flux was thinner than film version Æon Flux, so leave it.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">>Read the <a href="http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/odd/news/a477471/one-in-five-britons-have-injured-themselves-in-bathroom.html" title="Read the news story behind the topical comedy article" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" >source story</a></div>SNAnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6944096951713350956.post-41013153116689365472013-05-01T13:04:00.000+01:002013-05-01T13:04:01.721+01:00<img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6zNVqu4kTEo/UYEDAgueO_I/AAAAAAAACCs/Bja3HzosRlY/s320/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" align=right style=margin:7px />Schoolgirls at Wimbledon High School are to be given lessons in "boasting" because there's a theory that women don't get the top jobs in business because they don't show off.<br /><br />I'm pretty good at showing off. Erm, I mean, I'm very good at showing off. Damn it. I'm out of practice, I lost my skills.<br /><br />Even if the theory is right I think we're fixing the problem the wrong way. Instead of teaching men to be polite and contrite we're teaching the women to be more like the pain in the arse, up their own arses, total arses like businessmen.<br /><br />And we're teaching all of them to be show offs, not just the few who want to go into business. The whole world will be like the early stages of The Apprentice. When you meet people they'll proceed to tell you how they are "a powerhouse of innovation", that they "eat, drink and sleep success" and how they swapped their "can do attitude" for an "already have attitude" because they're so brill.<br /><br />These are the kind of people that when you send them a text asking how they are and they do a typo in the reply saying, "Hi. I'm god," you think they might have meant it.<br /><br />Fixing the gender gap by making women as rude as men seems like fixing the North-South divide by making northerners as unfriendly as Londoners, or fixing Third World poverty by throwing all of our food away. Worried about the conditions of workers in China? Join my new Fairtrade campaign to make people in British factories have no breaks, safety checks or pay.<br /><br />When this plan totally backfires on us remember who warned you about it. You read it here on the greatest news commentary website there is.<br /><br />Oh look, I got my skills back.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">>Read the <a href="http://s22.postimg.org/sstd89om9/PHOTO_20130429_231952_1.jpg" title="Read the news story behind the topical comedy article" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" >source story</a></div>SNAnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6944096951713350956.post-43026215385073613072013-04-30T04:57:00.000+01:002013-04-30T15:41:43.987+01:00<a href="http://www.somenews.co.uk/search/label/SNLiveVid" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JEkC06Y_QmU/UX8-lHdPShI/AAAAAAAAB_4/C8ZJ2hD39i8/s320/Screenshot+at+2013-04-30+04:40:49.png" align=right style=margin:7px alt="Steve on Britains Got Talent" /></a>Every week at <a href="http://www.somenews.co.uk/2012/09/the-monday-night-news-show.html" target="_blank" >The Monday Night News Show</a> in London <a href="http://www.somenews.co.uk/" target="_blank" >SomeNews.co.uk</a> goes live.<br /><br />Below is a short video from this week's show. In it we look at the latest scandal to hit Britain's Got Talent, well, according to the newspapers it's a scandal. Rolf Harris also gets a mention.<br /><br />Have a look...<br /><br /><br /><center><iframe width="530" height="298" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Nm34F1Rgo6w?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen><a href="http://www.somenews.co.uk/search/label/SNLiveVid"><img src="http://s13.postimg.org/butj6beuf/Screenshot_at_2013_04_30_04_44_48.png"></a></iframe><br /><a href="http://youtu.be/Nm34F1Rgo6w" title="Watch on YouTube" target="_blank" >Watch on YouTube</a></center><br />At the actual gig we also covered cheese, Helen Mirren, and we solved the London Underground. Come and <a href="http://www.somenews.co.uk/2012/09/the-monday-night-news-show.html" target="_blank" >see the show live any Monday</a>.<br /><br />P.S. <a href="http://www.somenews.co.uk/search/label/SNLiveVid">Here are all the topical videos from past Monday Night News Shows - check them out</a>.SNAnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6944096951713350956.post-67833369107644254102013-04-26T02:03:00.001+01:002013-04-26T02:08:24.447+01:00<img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1Nlw0xJhXgU/UXnPYn9ONmI/AAAAAAAAB_g/LQTfJWZhBk4/s320/ambien-sleep-eating-alt.jpg" imageanchor="1" align=right style=margin:7px />There's a little story that nearly passed me by, the story of a woman who's been getting up to all sorted in the middle of the night. She suffers from parasomnia.<br /><br />par·a·som·ni·a<br />n. Any of several disorders that frequently interfere with sleep.<br /><br />With a definition like that I think it could include having a day job. But the woman in question was sleep-eating. Lesley Cusack was piling in 2,500 calories a night, and wondered why she was gaining weight.<br /><br />Sleep-eating is amazing. It combines two of my favourite things, yet when you put them together like that it's a terribly condition. You gain weight, you risk burning the house down (she has eaten fry-ups while zonked) and you don't even remember the joy of filling your face.<br /><br />Lesley said she doesn't know what she's eating, adding, "I can only tell by the remains in the morning." She's like a low-key werewolf story.<br /><br />So Lesley has my sympathy, and I was just about to mark this as a story that didn't need to be featured on <a href="http://www.somenews.co.uk" title="It's this site">SomeNews</a>, but then I saw the picture of her in the paper sat in front of a plate of the kind of food she sleep-eats.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://img201.imageshack.us/img201/9832/ay108456438.jpg" border="0" alt="sleep eating" old="http://metrouk2.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/ay_108456438.jpg" ></center><br />Do you see it, at the front of the plate? Beetroot!<br /><br />If you eat beetroot but don't have any memory of eating it, when you go to the toilet and take a little look in the bowl you'll think you're dying. Forget the parasomnia, the weekly colonoscopies must be taking their toll.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">>Read the <a href="http://metro.co.uk/2013/04/23/sleepwalker-finds-diets-impossible-due-to-feasts-during-the-night-3664029/" title="Read the news story behind the topical comedy article" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" >source story</a></div><br />SNAnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6944096951713350956.post-92145933102616222472013-04-24T14:02:00.000+01:002013-04-24T14:02:13.193+01:00<img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-D16INcxsKjk/UXfWMmDdFyI/AAAAAAAAB-Q/oOWU_Sv4Jr8/s320/thedrs-14-year-old-burger.png" align=right style=margin:7px alt="McDonald's Burgers Last Forever" imageanchor="1" />I'm a firm believer in the maxim "you are what you eat". That's why I'm cheap, greasy and I'll play havoc with your colon. But some news stories make me stop and think about what we're putting inside our bodies.<br /><br />A man in America has kept a burger he purchased from McDonald's in 1999, and it still looks OK 14 years later. There's no mould, no rotting, and the chemicals and preservatives that they put in those burgers have kept it looking like the first day it was made.<br /><br />And you know what I think when I look at that? I want more of that in me!<br /><br />Whatever chemical has stopped that burger ageing over the last decade and a half I clearly don't have enough natural levels of. Compare the 2013 burger with the 1999 burger and it's a little drier. Compare 2013 me with 1999 me and you'd think, "Somewhere in a loft there's a portrait of Steve thinking it dodged a bullet."<br /><br />The man in question, David Whipple, said he kept the burger for a month to show people how enzymes worked. Then he put it back in the original packaging and forgot about it, as he tossed it to the back of his truck. That's the impressive thing about this story. If I know I have some high calorie food hanging around I can't last ten minutes without eating it.<br /><br />Whipple now says he is keeping the burger to show his grandchildren and educate them about fast food.<br /><br />Cut to: A barren wasteland of the future Earth, in the distance we see the ruins of advanced civilisations. All plant-life has been scorched away as the enlarged Sun that fills the sky. The camera moves to show a cockroach hunting for food. It stumbles across the burger. Sniffs. Moves on. <br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">>Read the <a href="http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/odd/news/a475680/man-keeps-mcdonalds-hamburger-for-14-years-looks-exactly-the-same.html" title="Read the news story behind the topical comedy article" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" >source story</a></div>SNAnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6944096951713350956.post-19933554402282218142013-04-24T02:10:00.000+01:002013-04-24T02:10:04.251+01:00<img imageanchor="1" border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-hPS2DkCd7uQ/UXcvw5kIAXI/AAAAAAAAB-A/R2AI-ZyB5WU/s320/images.jpg" align=right style=margin:7px />We've all been to the toilet and had a surprise before. Maybe you dropped your phone down the loo. Maybe you forgot there was beetroot in the salad you had the day before. Maybe it was the day you found out what a glory hole was. But none of those match the shock a woman in Kansas had.<br /><br />She went to the toilet while visiting a circus and found a tiger in there.<br /><br />A shock? You'd sh*t yourself. But good news, you're already in the toilet.<br /><br />On the website I found this story on it said, "The big cat had escaped from the ring." And I thought, "Really? How did it fit up there in the first place?"<br /><br />So, the tiger had escaped and headed straight to the bathroom, because you should never pass up a chance. Circus staff blocked off the concourses but one woman, Jenna Krehbiel, walked through the one door that hadn't been locked. She said, "You don't expect to go in a bathroom door, have it shut behind you and see a tiger walking toward you."<br /><br />Jenna "Well, Duh!" Krehbiel makes a good point. If I saw that I'd assume I was back on meth.<br /><br />Chris Bird, manager at the Bicentennial Center, said, "Once she saw the tiger, I'm sure she knew to go the other way."<br /><br />I'm not so sure. It's hard to remember what you're meant to do when faced with certain wild animals. There's one type of bear when you're meant to play dead, and another one when you have to climb a tree. I think there was something about sharks that they are attracted to the scent of urine. So that's what you do when faced with a tiger in the bathroom. Wait till the smell of the wee-wee attracts a shark and set it on the tiger.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">>Read the <a href="http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/weird/Woman-Walks-in-on-Tiger-in-Bathroom-Circus-204255781.html" title="Read the news story behind the topical comedy article" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" >source story</a></div>SNAnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6944096951713350956.post-52797615020011831452013-04-23T02:51:00.000+01:002013-04-23T03:34:01.363+01:00<a href="http://www.somenews.co.uk/search/label/SNLiveVid" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-pqizxAW9mYc/UXXkUlW4SAI/AAAAAAAAB9w/_y0wXR6Hrds/s320/Screenshot+at+2013-04-23+02:15:55.png" align=right style=margin:7px alt="Luis Suarez Bite, Toddlers" /></a>Every week at <a href="http://www.somenews.co.uk/2012/09/the-monday-night-news-show.html" target="_blank" >The Monday Night News Show</a> in London <a href="http://www.somenews.co.uk/" target="_blank" >SomeNews.co.uk</a> goes live.<br /><br />Below is a short video from this week's show. In it we cover the topics of Luis Suarez taking a bite out of another human and the trouble with toddlers these days.<br /><br />Have a look...<br /><br /><br /><center><iframe width="530" height="298" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/HfKEDQOEHqA?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen><a href="http://youtu.be/HfKEDQOEHqA" target="_blank" title="Click here to watch on YouTube"><img src="http://s21.postimg.org/m3jz8vuxj/top_vid_rep.png"></a><br></iframe><a href="http://youtu.be/HfKEDQOEHqA" title="Watch on YouTube" target="_blank" >Watch on YouTube</a></center><br />At the actual gig we also covered MILFs vs DILFMs, Rolf Harris, and an app that can stop you doing some incest. Come and <a href="http://www.somenews.co.uk/2012/09/the-monday-night-news-show.html" target="_blank" >see the show live any Monday</a>.<br /><br />P.S. <a href="http://www.somenews.co.uk/search/label/SNLiveVid">Here are all the topical videos from past Monday Night News Shows - check them out</a>.SNAnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6944096951713350956.post-74359105016983619712013-04-22T00:45:00.001+01:002013-04-22T00:45:28.214+01:00<img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-exO2bVAzj28/UXR3Zu5Cy-I/AAAAAAAAB9g/MB6cjCYKRTQ/s320/odd_barber_babes.jpg" align=right style=margin:7px alt="" />A topless barber shop has become a hit in Australia, offering customers to have their haircut done by a barely-clothed female hairdresser.<br /><br />Tut. I disapprove. I disapprove because this reduces women down to mere objects for men to be pleased by. I disapprove because it potentially exploits women who find themselves in financial trouble. But most of all I disapprove because I'm bald!<br /><br />The shop called 'Barber Babes', based in Brisbane, has employees wearing just hot pants or underwear. It's an OK name but I think it could've been a better pun. Hairdressers have a tradition of a play on words in their title. "A Cut Above", "British Hairways", "Hairway To Heaven", "The Godbarber". Things like that. So this place could've tried harder.<br /><br />"Tits and Clips", "Low CUT Tops", "A Little Off The Top", "A Freshly Breast Shirt". OK, that last one would be a naked dry-cleaners. It's worth remembering just in case they diversify.<br /><br />In addition to haircuts, they offer head massages, eyebrow waxing and blow-dries. And I bet every man who hears that list gets all excited up until the last syllable. <br /><br />Jasmine Robson, owner of the business, explained that the idea stemmed from her belief that most men find going to a barber inconvenient, and she wanted to provide them an extra incentive to get their hair cut.<br /><br />From what I remember, getting a haircut isn't that bad. Going to the dentist, that's the one that needs help. No one likes all the drilling and the sounds, but if the dentist leaning over you was giving you a face-full of boob, it could take the edge off.<br /><br />Yes, that's definitely better. They should close down this place and open up a topless dentists. I'm bald, but I still have my own teeth.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">>Read the <a href="http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/odd/news/a474264/topless-barber-shop-popular-in-australia.html" title="Read the news story behind the topical comedy article" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" >source story</a></div>SNAnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6944096951713350956.post-237397081495581732013-04-21T17:04:00.000+01:002013-04-21T17:04:25.480+01:00<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1qv_O1p2Ty0/UXQI9Npw-gI/AAAAAAAAB9Q/17lCsDJA7Ns/s1600/sssl.png" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1qv_O1p2Ty0/UXQI9Npw-gI/AAAAAAAAB9Q/17lCsDJA7Ns/s320/sssl.png" align=right style=margin:7px alt="Sloth terror" /></a>In sloth news: A video showing a sloth cuddling up with a cat has proved popular on YouTube. While the two animals get up close and personal the music of Jason Mraz plays and many people have commented about how cute the clip is. <br /><br />Here, have a look at the video...<br /><br /><center><img style="visibility:hidden;width:0px;height:0px;" border=0 width=0 height=0 src="http://c.gigcount.com/wildfire/IMP/CXNID=2000002.0NXC/bT*xJmx*PTEzNjY1NTgzOTkyNjYmcHQ9MTM2NjU1ODQwNzAwNCZwPTIzNDQ3MSZkPSZnPTImbz1hOGI*MDVmZTk*MTA*YTJlODhk/Y2E3ZjI4NTA2YzY5ZSZvZj*w.gif" /><embed width="440" height="420" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://v4.tinypic.com/player.swf?file=mcb2mg&s=4" FlashVars="gig_lt=1366558399266&gig_pt=1366558407004&gig_g=2"></embed></center><br />Cute eh? I think not.<br /><br />Have seen any of the sloth memes that have been going round the internet? Pictures like these...<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i33.tinypic.com/168ev45.jpg"></center><br />And now you have read the terrifying truth about what sloths are really like, have a look at the video again and see if you still think it's nice.<br /><br /><center><img style="visibility:hidden;width:0px;height:0px;" border=0 width=0 height=0 src="http://c.gigcount.com/wildfire/IMP/CXNID=2000002.0NXC/bT*xJmx*PTEzNjY1NTk2MTgzNjEmcHQ9MTM2NjU1OTYzNDQ4OSZwPTIzNDQ3MSZkPSZnPTEmbz1hOGI*MDVmZTk*MTA*YTJlODhk/Y2E3ZjI4NTA2YzY5ZQ==.gif" /> <embed width="440" height="420" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://v4.tinypic.com/player.swf?file=wk041t&s=4" FlashVars="gig_lt=1366559618361&gig_pt=1366559634489&gig_g=1"></center><br />Yeah, kind of different that time.<br /><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">>Read the <a href="http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/odd/news/a474632/sloth-hugs-cat-in-adorable-video-watch.html" title="Read the news story behind the topical comedy article" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" >source story</a></div>SNAnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6944096951713350956.post-52274164362965174872013-04-19T03:07:00.001+01:002013-04-19T03:07:34.855+01:00<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_ceIQTRS92w/UXCl3d9XnYI/AAAAAAAAB8w/q4hl0fjrdh8/s1600/incest_musical.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_ceIQTRS92w/UXCl3d9XnYI/AAAAAAAAB8w/q4hl0fjrdh8/s320/incest_musical.jpg" align=right style=margin:7px /></a>Just when you thought all of the good apps had been invented, comes ones that you'll wonder, "How did we ever live without it?"<br /><br />There's an app you can get that stops you having incest.<br /><br />Before you worry that this invention will force The Jeremy Kyle Show to cut down to one a week, there are some details to cover. It's designed to use in Iceland. That's no good to me. I want one that's designed to use just round the back of Iceland, near Primark, because that's where I'm more likely to have sex.<br /><br />I know it's the country Iceland that it means, but I still think that makes the app pointless for me. Already I would assume I'm not related to anyone in Iceland, but it is better to be safe than very sorry.<br /><br />The app uses a database of Icelanders and works out their heritage. When you "bump" the app with the person you're about to sleep with it compares your family tree and warns you if you're doing a Level 42*.<br /><br />It must be a very frustrating app to use though. You've met someone you are attracted to, you drink, you dance, you head back to their place where the kissing starts. You get more passionate, you both know there's a green light and you're about to embark on the most sexually exciting night when...<br /><br />HER: Have you got protection?<br />HIM: I've got the app if that's what you mean?<br />HER: OK, let's check...<br />HIM: Motherf***er!<br />HER: Are you upset because is it bad news?<br />HIM: No, that's the result of the test, motherf***er!<br />HER: Ooooh.<br /><br />The producers, from Sad Engineer Studios, said: "The 'Incest Prevention' is a fun feature that the user can enable through the options menu which will notify him with both text and sound if the one he bumps with someone who is too related to him."<br /><br />It'll stop many embarrassing moments but it could've really ruined the end of The Empire Strikes Back.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">>Read the <a href="http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/icelandic-antiincest-app-aims-to-stop-families-getting-too-close-8578404.html" title="Read the news story behind the topical comedy article" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" >source story</a></div><br />* Keeping it "Running in the Family" a little too much.<br />SNAnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6944096951713350956.post-23791473986429120092013-04-18T04:15:00.000+01:002013-04-18T04:15:10.037+01:00<a href="https://twitter.com/hendopolis/status/324641119537356800/photo/1" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QifMNz6zq7o/UW9ip8o_HkI/AAAAAAAAB8g/K7QUiGXNfl8/s320/thatch.jpg" align=right style=margin:7px /></a>Good news. I agree with you about the late Margaret Thatcher. I don't even need to know what you think before I can say I agree with you. And this is not just some swift placation to get you to stop talking, although that technique has proven invaluable this week.<br /><br />I know I agree with you because, whatever you think, you think the people who disagree with you are wrong. And I agree. Confused? Let me take a few steps back.<br /><br />I was unsure about dealing with this topic on what can be a rather light-hearted website. But this isn't my first opinion piece, I dealt with <a href="http://www.somenews.co.uk/2012/07/aurora-shooting-gun-control-issue.html" title="Have a read of it when you're done">gun control</a>, and my input clearly solved that problem.<br /><br />It's important to notice that this isn't going to be jokes about a funeral. That would be of poor taste, and to paraphrase John Donne, "Each man's death diminishes me, For I am involved in mankind." I think that means I tend to play gigs to alive people, and I'm just thinking about the market.<br /><br />But it's important to remember that, just because you don't want to celebrate someone's death, it doesn't mean you think the life was good.<br /><br />Since we heard of her passing the news has described her as divisive. No, she was polarising. The people who hate her think she was total evil, the people who like her think she's the best thing to ever happen to Great Britain. Both must be wrong. No one is pure evil, whether ultimately proved right or not, she thought what she was doing was good for the country, and indeed for some parts of it, it was. And she's not the best thing to happen. She didn't create the NHS or create an empire, if that's your thing, so people who think that are wrong too.<br /><br />She, like everyone, existed somewhere on the spectrum between their worst and best versions. But no one seems to see that. No one listens with open minds to the opposite view point. I come from an area that used to have a thriving coal mining community and saw first-hand the consequences of her actions. But I realise the coal industry may not have been viable. However, when Germany reduced the size of its coal industry it did it without ruining large sections of the nation and causing local unemployment to be a problem that lasted for decades.<br /><br />On the day of her death I was broadcast in Essex, and area that loves her. One caller decided to speak to me and said, "The thing is, in the 70s the country was in a right state. Something had to be done!"<br /><br />Yes. But don't miss your own logical flaw. Just because something had to be done doesn't mean that what was done was the right thing. Or you could also have the sentence, "The thing is, in the 30s Germany was in a right state. Something had to be done!" Something was done, but I think we have to agree it wasn't the right thing.<br /><br />On privatisation, do I think that letting private businesses into the telecoms market, freeing up the restrictions of the use of certain technologies, that ultimately led us to the modern word of mobile phones, was a good thing? Yes. Do I think privatising the utilities so that a company may make profit out of an old person struggling to afford enough heat to stay alive was good? Sweet mercy no! It's not either or, it's not zeroes and ones, it's shades of grey. (Well, that book ruined that phrase for me.)<br /><br />Do I think that market forces can run some industries? Yes. Do I think letting the market run free is perfectly fine? I'm living in the aftermath of the credit crunch, we are so over 'greed is good'.<br /><br />If the pro-Thatcher camp weren't so blindly pro and the anti-Thatcher camp weren't so blindly anti we might actually be able to have a discussion about real issues that face us?<br /><br />The funeral itself has heightening that problem. Is it right to celebrate someone's death with an effigy of them? I don't think so. Is it right to spend tax payers money on something when you know half the country doesn't think she was great? No. It'll only serve to deepen the division.<br /><br />Even if you think she was the best Prime Minister Great Britain ever had, that was her job. She did her job. Most people don't get a celebratory send off for doing their job. In fact most Prime Ministers don't get a celebratory send off just for doing their job. Churchill was an understandable exception. His role in the Second World War and getting this country through it could be seen as exceptional. But there's a very big difference between the worthiness of the funeral of Churchill and Thatcher, there wasn't half the country that hated what Churchill did. There were large communities in the North saying, "Actually, the Germans were OK."<br /><br />So there we have it. Strip out the emotion, talk about the logic, and we could finally get somewhere. But not only do I think that won't happen, I expect I'll get comments saying I shouldn't defend her while at the same time I'll get comments saying I shouldn't express a negative opinion. Rest safe in the knowledge that all comments that come from a blinded view of the left or the right will be deleted. This is my website, not a free market. <br /><br />Look at it this way, whoever disagrees with you, I disagree with them too.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">>Read the <a href="http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/margaret-thatcher-funeral-protesters-chant-1837262" title="Read the news story behind the topical comedy article" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" >source story</a></div>SNAnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6944096951713350956.post-79414301141035479162013-04-17T03:04:00.001+01:002013-04-17T03:04:31.604+01:00<img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JqZM_OHUGY4/UW4B6bkUTuI/AAAAAAAAB8Q/9BdXjIICkJA/s320/1297329533815_ORIGINAL.jpg" align=right style=margin:7px alt="Is music better than sex" imageanchor="1" />Here's the "science in inverted commas" story of the day:<br /><br />Canadian researchers have found that listening to music can be as enjoyable as sex.<br /><br />It can. And I should know, I do a lot of it. I used to do it mainly in the car, but these days it's online. Don't worry, it's not dodgy, I always pay for it.<br /><br />I also, sometimes, listen to music.<br /><br />Using MRI scans, they found that areas in the reward centre of the brain - the same part activated when we have sex - became active when people heard a song for the first time.<br /><br />Oh, so that's only for new music? Eventually after experiencing the same one again and again you get bored and don't enjoy it in the same way? So it really is like having sex.<br /><br />While talking about this news story with a friend he said, "It must be really weird lying in an MRI scanner trying to enjoy music." Really? And yet you think trying to have sex in there is fine? The chugging of the scanner is like Barry White to you?<br /><br />This is difficult scientific information to use. I guess all you can do with it is try to listen to more music. It's as enjoyable as sex but in many ways music is better than sex. For example:<br />It's easier to get hold of.<br />You can do it on public transport.<br />Realistically, it's more likely to have Rihanna involved.<br />You can listen to two songs in a row without the need for a 20-minute break.<br />If you find one you really like you can recommend it to a friend without society frowning.<br />And let's be honest, if it's an album track it'll last longer*.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">>Read the <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2308020/How-listening-new-music-really-CAN-make-happy-Scientists-say-hearing-new-tunes-rewarding.html" title="Read the news story behind the topical comedy article" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" >source story</a></div><br />* Blur's Song 2 was on an album, right?<br />SNAnoreply@blogger.com0