Sound the Trumpet in Zion

Reconnecting with the life of David: A Journey into mature love

2018-06-18T14:36:00.000+12:00

I just spent the morning transferring my notes from my old bible into my new one. Who wants paper books eh?

Definitely the book with the most notes, highlights, circled words and thoughts is 1 Samuel - so far. I have gone from Genesis to 1 Samuel this morning. And even more particularly, the point at which the author introduces "the man after God's own heart" (1 Samuel 13:14) and the one "prepared for God" - to be King (1 Samuel 16:1) The one who is better than Saul. (1 Samuel 15:28)

How important is it that we reconnect with the life of this young man. As a young man, I have always felt such courage reading the life of David. Since I won't be spending too much time comprehensively looking at the other sources where David shines, ie 1 Chronicles, 2 Chronicles, Psalms, or even the gospels, I will be offering a few direct and poignant observations from the book itself. If a thought concerning another book comes up, I will write it for encouragement, but just see this article as taking some time to digest the experiences of this young man.

I have not got to 2 Samuel, so a look at His royal career is not in the cards for this, but will of course talk about the overall flow of what is being communicated.

A bit of context. Samuel, the boy that was an answer to prayer, and consequently became a Levite because his mother Hannah gave Him to the LORD, grew up in the days in which the Ark of the covenant was taken out of the temple of the LORD and subsequently given into the hand of the Philistines. the same people that terrorized David's generation. He from a young age became a prophet of the LORD and none of his words fell to the ground. The context leading up to David's entrance is rather a bleak look at how Human ingenuity and sensibility threaten the plan of God for His people. It was during the reign of the judges. It was the end of the judges and the beginning of the kingdom of Israel. But, just as in judges there was not a king, so everyone did as he pleased (from the last chapter of Judges) equally, such carelessness had fallen over the priesthood. The sons of the High Priest were guilty of gross sin, by forcing people to be offended by offerings, and keeping for themselves the best (as well as engaging in sexual immorality). It forced people into departing from God. They died, their father died due to negligence, and the Ark, which was God's presence in Israel was taken away.

This Samuel was instructed by God to go to a town named Bethlehem and anoint one Son as King of Israel.

This Son by being anointed was in stark contrast to the other Sons. He was chosen for the heart, where as each one was subsequently sent away, until the one that was to be anointed comes. And in this he was anointed with the Spirit of the LORD, continually.

A wee thought about the initial encounter. David had been chosen due to the closeness of His heart with Yahweh. He does in the next few chapters, demonstrate just how human he is, and yet compelling for many reasons. He was the only one in the camp to even mention the affront of Goliath coming into the camp every day, every morning, every evening, because each other was unable to even speak a word against this threat. All they could say was "how threatening is this man!" (1 Samuel 17:25) His Father had sent him only to provide food for his brothers. Saul had resisted him because He was a youth. His brothers were putting him in his place just for the sake of it. Every person in the camp of the Israelites could only talk about the reward to the man that would defeat Him. In stark contrast to this David says:

“What shall be done for the man who kills this Philistine and takes away the reproach from Israel? For who is this uncircumcised Philistine, that he should defy the armies of the living God?”'

I Samuel 17:26
https://www.bible.com/bible/114/1SA.17.26

He addresses his brothers by saying this: Is there not a cause? (1 Samuel 17:29)

He addresses Saul by saying that he has defeated lion and bear, because the LORD delivered him from the threat of the lion and bear.

He at the sight of goliath runs quickly to meet him in battle, and subsequently uses stones to defeat him, and then cut off his head. The point of these things is that the victory was already with God, and that He gave him over into his hand.

He would go back every day to tend the sheep, the ministry that His father had given him, even when in the royal service, and this demonstrates his character. He would do the thing that His Father was about. He would be faithful. If it was given to his charge, then he would do it. Not only does this speak of respect, and honor, but also that He didn't so much as care for the applause of people. He went back because He would do it without anyone looking.

I said that he was very human.

When Saul was pursuing his life, and forced to hide in caves, roam the wilderness, and evade capture, He had pangs of conscience. Like. I've had plenty of pangs of conscience, some more aware than others. Usually if I've done something that I regret, i go back and make it right with people. David had pangs of conscience. In this particular instance, what made Him think through his actions was this: That Saul is the Lord's anointed. What would happen to me if I raised my hand against the Lord's anointed? Then He commanded his men to not lay a hand on him.

What was happening here was David was bearing with the injustice with grace. It was communicating that He trusted God in the times of testing and would be content on waiting on Him for His deliverance, His promise to be done, and His ultimate good.

'Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me; You will stretch out Your hand Against the wrath of my enemies, And Your right hand will save me. The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy, O Lord , endures forever; Do not forsake the works of Your hands.' Psalms 138:7-8 https://www.bible.com/bible/114/PSA.138.7-8

He did this twice. (1 Samuel 24:7, 26:9)

He obviously, could not take the kingship if there still was a King on the throne. He in his reasoning in these chapters determines to show kindness to Saul rather than to take it by force.

Two things come up in this journey of grace in David. One is that He is wanting to do the right thing, but that failure is seen emotional pressures. the other is that He wants to do the right thing, but moral failure makes Him do the opposite.

For example. In 1 Samuel 25 we read the story of how David decides to take vengeance into his own hands over the grievance of Nabal. In this story it is Abigail, Nabal's wife, that implores David to see reason - affirming that He is King, and in the days of his royal reigning He won't even think of this grievance. The other is that she asks him for the punishment to fall on her. He was taking vengeance into his own hands. He had reasoned that Saul was under God's divine purpose, however taking the thing into his own hands was still a big problem for him.

Another time, in 1 Samuel 21 he lies to the High Priest and subsequently is responsible for the slaughter of his whole family. (1 Samuel 22:22)

However on a whole, his wilderness wanderings produced in Him grace for the purpose of achieving God's will, rather than his own.

An example of the first kind of failure is in chapter 27. This began a season in which David migrated to Ziklag, a city of the Philistines, and gave up on ever being King. the intervention was, at the hand of God, the burning of the city and the taking away of the families of his men and his own. (1 Samuel 30:1-5)

He would purposely keep secret all of his dealings, so that it never got out what He was doing. the King of the Philistines believed David to be under his thumb, and would never turn away. This speaks to the emotional breakdown happening in this season. The word of God providentially indicates the exact time frame of the whole season. (1 Samuel 27:7)

Even though young when called (1 Samuel 16) it was not until mature age that He ended up becoming King. (2 Samuel 1, 2 Samuel 4) what would I do if I knew that my youth was going to be spent running around a wilderness, being pursued for life? and that God would use this season to speak to the heart and prepare me? chances are, you would question that too? I mean, what is God thinking taking the best of my life and provide me for Himself? That's the point. I'm not saying He didn't escalate. the first few years He did. He went from shepherd boy to court musician, to a commander in the army and living in the royal palace. Yet, and here's why the whole point is grace. Even when he was in the courts of the King his attitude was "I am poor, and beggarly, why would I be made a prince?" 1 Samuel 18 repeats this phrase over and over in the NKJV. David behaved wisely. We are even fortunate to see His wisdom in action, in the fact that while in royal courts, he was still David. He was still saying, "I must go and prove it by my deeds" I will take Michal as wife, because we love each other. I'm going to go and circumcise a host of philistines for the royal treasury. He was wise because Saul was trying to kill him. It became clear that through His wisdom, and God's plans, that He would actually be a constant grievance to Saul. Clearly, part of the wisdom given to David was related to the fact that He was not afraid. He showed he was not afraid to Goliath. But the source of that courage was not brute forcing it. He knew His God. He did the exploits of God because He knew His God. He did think about his actions. He did have sober judgment about himself. He did behave wisely in His life. This all paints the picture as to the accreditation of David by God. God provided David for himself.

The first time the discipline of God became paramount was after the insanity of Saul began to take hold completely. He would throw spears at David in his own house to kill him, and now he was pursuing David's life except for the intervention of the Kings son, Jonathan. This insanity would turn into him trying to solidify his position, be convinced of lies concerning David, and plot and scheme. The prophecy regarding Saul was bearing fruit and growing, that He was exercising witchcraft, and listening to terrible men for advice, and zealots for the nation who had no love for God in their hearts. Yes Doeg. But it all started way earlier. He began to follow David to his house, and set guards around David's home. What was David's response? challenge me on this if you can, but He wrote a psalm. He played his heart out to God. He rejoiced in the destruction of the wicked, those who "prowl around like dogs, insatiable" and praised God for his deliverance. His great kindness and mercy and His understanding as the beloved of God's heart. Psalm 59. He knew his portion was God would destroy all His enemies. that He would reign from the throne and it would be a partnership with God. It was a promise of God that Israel would be the head, not the tail, unchallenged, blessed with prosperity, and unmoveable because of the salvation of the righteous.

I'll finish with some last words the author speaks in this book.

'Now David was greatly distressed, for the people spoke of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and his daughters. But David strengthened himself in the Lord his God.' I Samuel 30:6 https://www.bible.com/bible/114/1SA.30.6

There's this picture of David entering the priestly service in this book. This verse here is preceding that verse, where David courageously inquired of God concerning the affair and then leads his men in deliverance of the captors. These chapters also are underpinned by the character of David. He chooses to give the spoil to all, it is the Lord's deliverance and so will not go to the wicked and worthless men (the bibles own words; 1 Samuel 30:22)

You can't make this stuff up. The next chapter the wickedness of Saul is repaid, but now David is sitting at his home in Philistine territory, where the city has been burned, plundered and everyone taken captive, including his own wives, and his family, and the families of His men. Something about this strikes me as completing it. In 1 Samuel 22 the chapter begins with people coming to David from all over Israel with families, being distressed, helpless, and feeling alone. Depressed, the next few chapters reveal the anxiety of his men, and His leadership, in simply asking the Lord what is to happen. And their courage grows. Yet, now they are ready to stone and kill David. Obviously fear gives way to desperation at what can be done. Their first thought is to stone the man that lead them all the way here. If David was wrestling with his own faults and failures you wouldn't know it. Because the text says "David strengthened himself in the Lord His God" the word here strengthened literally means to seize. yes there was a wrestle but who was it with? it was with the Lord His God! I honestly can't think of a more beautiful picture in all of scripture. At the prospect of being stoned to death he lays hold of God for dear life. He demonstrates here that indeed God's choosing of David was right. The fact that he prays right after this, and with the confidence of a priest speaks to the belovedness of David.

This verse communicates that David's valiance is God, that his surety is God, that His faith is in God, that His strength is with God, that His encouragement is God, that His praise is coming from God.

You can't make this stuff up. A man that failed morally and failed due to emotional stress is seen behaving morally and behaving emotionally connected. In fact, He has spoken to the battle that was raging on here. Psalm 18 describes the belovedness of David. It describes the warfare that He did here, the strength that He exhibited here. Knowing God.

I will say this to finally end. Beloved, that is who you are. Jesus has listened when you speak close to his heart, and told you the secrets of His heart. You are the one that He died for, that He gave everything for, plundering death, and saying "no more!" to sin's empty promises. David died, as the bible speaks, but Jesus, he reigns eternally. Is not His word worth more to you than life? are you not glad that it didn't end with a man who has moral failures? and who knows what it's like to be oppressed, by himself? As far as God delights in the life of David, because of failure, we have an even securer portion available, One that stands in the presence of God and intercedes for us. Pouring from the heart of David is a heart that wants to know God, and this is the strength that He exhibits pouring out the wisdom of beauty.

Beautiful you are

2018-05-03T15:11:00.001+12:00

I just composed a song which was on my heart as I met with God's mercy afresh today - that's awesome God!

Beautiful you are

I've been going through the book of Romans this year with Bible study fellowship. If you want to find out about the organisation follow this link to the global site - I really recommend at least going through a book of the bible together. This organisation have very good studies which take a year to go through. Ours started in february and have been plodding through Romans. I would recommend reading this book if you have a few holes in your understanding about the gospel. This is where I was at the beginning of the study. I actually read through Romans by myself as part of a study bible called the New Inductive Study Bible however even though reading through it I didn't grasp some of the more important things (I did this rather rushed, like in a week, which explains why I did not take the time to learn it) but still realised how crucial this book is. I remember feeling that this would massively mature my understanding about how secure I am - it is by grace through faith, and that I get my identity from God - instead of what my feelings tell me. So I cautiously approached getting others involved so that we could go through this together. This was when I heard about bsf running Romans. I'm glad I did.

All that to introduce the post. I should have left a disclaimer about advertising hah.

This morning I woke up to the anxiety of thinking about a question, the question was "is there anything that you have done in the past that you still feel guilty about?" and the follow up to that, "what guilt do you have over things that you have not done?"

The question was part of my study in Romans - chapter 4, highlighting Faith, apart from works, apart from blessing, and apart from what you see.

So it encouraged me through the life of David, what can you learn from His life to atone for your guilt, of what you've done wrong.

I was struggling with some terrible decisions that I made in the past, which at the time alienated me from people, and guilt that I did not really have an answer for. I just felt incredibly torn, and unable to come to terms with my own fault, or where the fault was. I had given myself license to get angry at people because I was defending my own right to look after myself. But also didn't know whether I was chiefly responsibly for it, or was it compounded by others. In other words, the "guilt" i was experiencing was over what I should or shouldn't be doing in regard to these relationships. I honestly had no answer for what I was going through. But... and this is the hope that I've received from meeting with God this morning. He has provided righteousness for me so that I can be forgiven, and walk free of my guilt, and genuinely seek the well being of those that I've injured.

So what did I learn?

The lesson is that when I've been angry, frustrated, hypocritical to my own standards, it's actually been with God. Healing balm of Gilead. I'm miserable over the division that I've caused by needing to be right. Then the floodworks came. God loves me anyway. God chooses me again. He walks over to me again. He provides mercy again. He listens to my complaint again. He reassures me again. He gives freedom again. He puts his heart on the line for me again. He as much as I woke up with a heavy heart over sin because I woke up with a heavy heart over my sin. That I wanted to make it right, yeah I don't deny. But i was lost and broken. And i thought it was all my fault. And I went from bad to worse trying to make things right (read: approaching people that had just been furious with me and trying to reconcile within a day. Even though them and I were both disgusted at each other, terrified of what people will think and acting as the proverbial "casting pearls before swine")

The beautiful melody of heaven rings in my ears

"I stand amazed in the presence of Jesus the Nazarene
I wonder at how he could love me
A sinner condemned unclean"

Oh man the sobbing began.

This is majesty. A just and righteous God kneeling down to make me clean. A kiss from heaven as I depart from my own ungodliness and am brought into the freedom of the sons of God. Yes this is the moment that Jesus was all his life waiting for. He does this, because, unlike our religious mindset, he is the one waking the dawn with mercy. He is the one stepping down from his high place to sit with the needy. He's the one weeping over the destruction that sin has caused. He's the one furious in love that will not be challenged by idols.

Oh the mercies of God are new every morning!

Thoughts on gift giving and offering our talents

2017-03-18T18:00:00.000+13:00

This is certainly not going to be an exhaustive letter about the subject, but recently God moved on my heart and it was the most peaceful thing I could experience. I still don't have any words for what happened. It's filled me with admiration for God. The thought I have is that we who are His children, those who have been sanctified by Him, who are his inheritance, could learn a lot from Exodus 30-31. I have been reading it today. This won't be a eloquent letter about the passage. But I just wanted to share what's on my heart. The passage, if you read in context, refers to God's spirit being given to the people, so that they would know Him more.

The first chapter is talking about the preciseness of worship. It mentions the altar of incense, the redemption of Israel, the bronze laver (a watering basin) the holy anointing oil, by which everything was anointed, the incense, and then in 31, the chapter i'm focusing on, it mentions that God "gives" his spirit to Bezalel, and Ahisamach, who were from the tribe of Judah and Dan respectively. These men "carried" his spirit, in all the work of the tabernacle. If you jump forward these men commissioned the rest of the congregation, to do lesser works, but they were in charge of the greater works. God chose to anoint His people in the work of His tabernacle. He had already chosen and made manifest the wisdom of Himself to two men, and through them, the congregation would construct the tabernacle. Now the rest of the book mentions the construction of this tabernacle.

Tabernacle is literally the word for tent. It's furnishings and contents were temporary. the Tabernacle itself was not in a fixed position, but went wherever God went. In fact, as part of the tabernacle, the ark rested in the place that God rested. The people followed God and they followed the tabernacle that was constantly with them.

Of the tabernacle Isaiah speaks in Isaiah 4:

The Branch of the Lord

2 In that day the Branch of the Lord will be beautiful and glorious, and the fruit of the land will be the pride and glory of the survivors in Israel.3 Those who are left in Zion, who remain in Jerusalem, will be called holy, all who are recorded among the living in Jerusalem. 4 The Lord will wash away the filth of the women of Zion; he will cleanse the bloodstains from Jerusalem by a spirit[a] of judgment and a spirit[b] of fire. 5 Then the Lord will create over all of Mount Zion and over those who assemble there a cloud of smoke by day and a glow of flaming fire by night; over everything the glory[c] will be a canopy. 6 It will be a shelter and shade from the heat of the day, and a refuge and hiding place from the storm and rain.

Fascinating that the picture of God's glory in this passage is the picture of a tabernacle. Fascinating also that the word that is used of Jesus is the tabernacle, He "dwelt among us" (John 1:14) he is living with us. He took on the form of a servant to make us holy towards God.

There is a fascinating verse in the 31st chapter. it reads:

[Exo 31:12-14 NKJV] 12 And the LORD spoke to Moses, saying, 13 "Speak also to the children of Israel, saying: 'Surely My Sabbaths you shall keep, for it [is] a sign between Me and you throughout your generations, that [you] may know that I [am] the LORD who sanctifies you. 14 'You shall keep the Sabbath, therefore, for [it is] holy to you. Everyone who profanes it shall surely be put to death; for whoever does [any] work on it, that person shall be cut off from among his people.

Why the significance of the Sabbath? Because it says "that you may know that I am the LORD who sanctifies you" and "you shall keep the Sabbath therefore, for it is holy to you"

There's much that's on my heart regarding this passage, for it is the only verse here which actually commands them to keep, and the reason for it. The word holy means "set apart" meaning "only for this purpose" yet God is holy. This speaks of the God who cannot be contained by anything. For if someone were to be holy, it would be like saying "you are my possession" But when God is holy, it refers to his nature and character, the completeness of His person in entirety. that is why God is holy, why He is set apart. The verse speaks of the day being "holy to you" meaning, it was created for you. Yet in the previous verse it says "that you may know that I am the LORD" this knowing of the LORD is the direct result of keeping sabbath. if he had his reason, it would be "because you will know me" but it is holy to you, meaning that the day alone is yours. Do this: every day that you have, give it to God. He will fill it.

God chose to give skill to his people, so that His tabernacle would be built. He gave His spirit to empower His people in the work. This is a picture of what Christ has done for the church, possessing them the ones that are gifts to Him, but it's His will that He would be so enthroned as the one to whom the rebellious and captives are submitting to.

[Psa 68:18 NKJV] 18 You have ascended on high, You have led captivity captive; You have received gifts among men, Even [from] the rebellious, That the LORD God might dwell [there].

The message says:
You climbed to the High Place, captives in tow,
your arms full of booty from rebels,
And now you sit there in state,
God, sovereign God!

he gave his accreditation over it.

That's someone I can follow, because unlike Bezalel and Ahisamach, His spirit was not given by measure. When he asked them to construct the place that would be the center of worship for the congregation, He gave them skill as far as their ability. He empowered them to turn the dreams of his heart into things that could be seen.

I was at a meeting listening to Shane Claiborne share his experience about what Jesus had led him into. The prevailing notion was, I've got to get my life right. I'm currently wasting my life. It was the wake up call I needed to simply be with God. Only God knows my heart, only he tells me who I am, only He can speak fire into my heart and give my heart the freedom it desires, to be wholly his. Why is that? I mean, have you ever asked yourself what is so fascinating about the people that have caught your wonder? What is it about them that makes them so alluring? do they do anything? is it a reflection of what dwells in my heart? Rather than that being really inconsequential, this is the place that God desires to dwell. He desires to wake up the heart from its slumber. He desires to have mercy on weak and broken people. He looks forward to pouring Himself out and being known for love. He is defiant to the point of shedding his own blood. He is the plumb line of right and truth. I really wouldn't know what to do without him. Augustine says "man shall not find rest, until He find his rest in Him[God]"

The last thing I want to leave with you is that it was all God ordained. It was He who was in control of the building of His own dwelling. And when it was commissioned, the people gave willingly. That literally screams to me of how much God is about His own worship. People say "God's job, God's bill" He is not lacking who made Heaven and earth. Jesus, don't let me pass an opportunity where you are calling me.

Okay, so God is worthy of our worship and adoration. We don't give to Him anything that is not His. Majesty! wonder! the best things in life, are things that we belong to. the thing that is sacred, is the thing that we were made for. Join me in living by His spirit, reflecting His own goodness. I want to be undone by God when he looks at me, when He smiles at me, when I hear Him speak, I want to have a desire that only God can satisfy. The point is, in light of the beauty of Himself, is anything really given? is it going back to Him as being from me?

What I feel like saying right now, is that it is not even the thought we are really thinking. I've lived too long on this earth to live like today doesn't matter, that tomorrow should be my goal in living a better life. Of putting off that love that fills me now. I was literally a fool for thinking that my life was hard. No matter what you are going through, the fragrance of praising Him is something that strikes his heart, because it is offered.

I equally don't want to live like others have something I don't. because breaking it down to its essential parts only shows that the person I envy has far more to carry than I do. I wouldn't envy them in the least if I knew what it would cost them to leave it all behind. I know that's a negative way at looking at it. But such foolishness is wisdom to God, if I can leave it all behind and turn my heart once again to Him and say He's completely worth it! The reason we object is only because of fear, fear of letting go, of not being in control. and such fear is rooted in our fear of man, of what He can do to us, or maybe even fear of the devil, for the fact that he prowls.

Okay, so i used the word "leave it all behind" in two different ways in the last paragraph, i just meant, that if someone were to reject all God's love and life, and to call it quits, i would not envy them for it. I guess i was saying it because I carry a burden each day. Yet, my hearts desire is that I could leave it all behind, really, truly, that my life would not keep me from having the love of Him fill my whole being. I think the two are connected anyway.

God's spirit is not a spirit of fear, equally it's not a spirit of control. It's a spirit of joyful anticipation and boastful delight.

Please let me know what you think. I'm really inspired and want to hear what He's upto in your neck of the woods.

Identity in God is expressed in loving our brothers and sisters

2016-06-04T11:57:00.000+12:00

 God my Father reminded me this morning of how my identity in Him is expressed in my loving my brothers and sisters in Christ. This was something we learned at Equip in January, but to be honest, have not looked at the passage since. It's from 1 John 3:11-24.  

I’m reading from the New King James Version:

[1Jo 3:11-24 NKJV] 11 For this is the message that you heard from the beginning, that we should love one another, 12 not as Cain [who] was of the wicked one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his works were evil and his brother's righteous. 13 Do not marvel, my brethren, if the world hates you. 14 We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love [his] brother abides in death. 15 Whoever hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him. 16 By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down [our] lives for the brethren. 17 But whoever has this world's goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him? 18 My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. 19 And by this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him. 20 For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things. 21 Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God. 22 And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight. 23 And this is His commandment: that we should believe on the name of His Son Jesus Christ and love one another, as He gave us commandment. 24 Now he who keeps His commandments abides in Him, and He in him. And by this we know that He abides in us, by the Spirit whom He has given us.

When I was younger, I was bullied my my peers, and I kept on telling myself I needed to do something about it. It left me quite fragile, having wanted to make friends at school. At the time I didn’t think anything of it, but it intimated to me what I would later recall that I needed to make friends, and they needed to accept me. I have aspergers syndrome, the very reason I struggled with it is because inside I was very uncomfortable in who I am. Even remembering my friendships at school, they were marked by me wanting to do things with people. At the end of high school, I made some friends, and decided it was more important than my studies. 

What lies have I believed since then, about my character, my personality, my confidence, and who people have said I am? What has kept me back from being the person God has called me to be? Well I realised in January that it was because I didn’t really root myself in my identity as a child, a son or daughter of God. Don’t get me wrong, I have had wonderful experiences where Abba has marked me, chosen me, and also saved me from my fears.

I wouldn’t be the person I am today without these treasures from Heaven.

This is what John is writing towards the people that He loves. He is instructing them on how to love each other. He begins by saying:

[1Jo 3:11-15 NKJV] 11 For this is the message that you heard from the beginning, that we should love one another, 12 not as Cain [who] was of the wicked one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his works were evil and his brother's righteous. 13 Do not marvel, my brethren, if the world hates you. 14 We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love [his] brother abides in death. 15 Whoever hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.

The previous section ends with the words:

[1Jo 3:10 NKJV] 10 In this the children of God and the children of the devil are manifest: Whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor [is] he who does not love his brother.

He’s declaring the truth about who they are. They are children of God because they practice righteousness, and also, that they love their brother. The reason that He says this is clear in the verses following. He states the truth (he did previously)

That if you do not practice righteousness you are not of God
If you do not love your brother you are not of God
If you murder you are of the wicked one (and we know that anyone that is angry with His brother is also a murderer)
The reason that he murdered Him is because He did evil works (unaccepted by God) and the world is in hatred towards you because you have passed from death to life.
It ends with these sobering words: “He who does not love His brother, abides in death”
Because anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and a murderer cannot have eternal life abiding in him.

These are all directed towards the child of God. 

When have you decided to reject the sayings of God on account of loving each other and practicing what is righteous? I will put it another way, What do you do when you fail at God’s commands? what is it that strengthens you when you fail to hit the mark?

Fear is what disables us in the face of love. But we know perfect love drives out fear. You cannot be complete in love when you fear. 

Beloved, this is good news, whatever situation you are in, the truth is, you are marked by God. you are chosen, you are delighted in, you are bought with a price, and God laid down his life for you to demonstrate His love. 

And by this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him. For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things.

He then gives us remarks about how we practice love. It’s really important.

[1Jo 3:16-18 NKJV] 16 By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down [our] lives for the brethren. 17 But whoever has this world's goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him? 18 My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. 

The first is a call to rest. “By this we know love “(how to act with love) “that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren”

I was having trouble understanding this verse until I saw the picture. The picture is we are children of God, and our identity in God is expressed in loving one another. The trial that comes is, are we afraid of His command, so that we should save ourselves, rather than laying down our lives for our brothers? the resemblance to Jesus, nay, to Cain and Abel is astounding. Cain was Abel’s brother! and yet what was his response? to murder and kill because His brothers deeds were righteous. Abel did the right thing, and Cain was furious at Him, for having not been accounted right before God. I hope you realise the ramifications of this.

When did it enter into peoples hearts to murder the people that are doing right? the ones that are standing for truth, that are loving each other, and known and identify with the truth? Cain was beyond redemption of human hands. His heart had been tainted the moment that He cherished lawlessness in His heart, sin crouched at his door, and He was mastered by it. This is why we cannot think lowly of sin, nor indeed of the effects of it towards our brothers and sisters. Sin was the reason that Cain slew able and walked lawless, insubordinate, and most lamentably, alone. God’s judgment on Cain was only because Cain did it. His idle heart looked to find recompense where none could be given. His heart slew His brother only, basically, for a piece of bread. What bread was He eating? it was the one that said “I will have justice on my adversary” even though His justice was blinded by His own greed and contemptible sense of right and wrong. and His adversary, no He did not see His accuser, He merely listened to the taunts of it each day and could not master it. God’s word to Cain was “  sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.” 

God was extending redemption to Cain that could not be bought. He explains it as “to rule over” which means to subdue it because you are the master, you are the one in control.

Remember Jesus, what Jesus was able to accomplish, not because He looked to recompense, but because His heart is forever connected with the forever. He has tasted death for all, that all should have life through Him. Abel died, yet Jesus, he lives. If we put our confidence in Jesus, the man God, perfect in all of His ways, then we find such sweet rest and redemption from Him that cannot be spoiled by our works. God is eternally youthful in his dealings with us, unchangeable, because just like Jesus, the Father also is wanting a family, to have sons and daughters that are connected with Him, abiding in Him, and waiting for Him, cherishing intimacy as the children of God, and that know their God. that know Him and are confident, even when lies and accusation come their way. This courage cannot be birthed by great works, this confidence cannot come from living for the reward. Don’t get me wrong - Abel and Jesus all looked to the reward. But what sustained Jesus (let us just focus on Him) is his connection to the forever. the Father, the alpha and omega. That He lived out this passage. He lived out what it looked like to have identity in God and expressed in loving His brothers and sisters. the ones that Are so precious to Him, because He looks at us with the same eyes as the Father does. Resting in the Fathers love. Not being intimidated by anger and lust, and lies. 

This is why we should lay down our lives for the brethren in giving materially for their needs. I want to say so much more about this. 

The reason that He says this is because we have such small love for our brothers, that we wont even take care of their material needs. How can we clothe them in eternal splendour if the most ready and practical expression of loving each other we don't even consider. 

Yes, it is saying practical outworking of love is found in giving to the needy, the ones that have financial stress, the ones that are under obligation from creditors, that are bound by their own choices and needing rescue. Again, the reason that the Israelites gave to the needy, was because it was prescribed in the law. They gave because it was an obligation, a command to. Their financial stability relied upon their tithe. If they didn't offer to those that had need, their whole way of life would stumble. It was the levites that experienced this blessing. They looked to the sacrifices that were offered as their daily bread. They ministered to God out of the offering that they received, which they gave back to God, and who were also responsible for teaching the population the ways of God. If we stop doing this, we forfeit that love that God has expressed towards us, because we do not consider the purpose of the giving. 

What are some other practical outworkings of love that you can think, that you have not been doing, but He's putting on your heart now? What are the motivations of those practical outworkings? is it because you want to know God?

And so we get to the last section:

[1Jo 3:19-24 NKJV] 19 And by this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him. 20 For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things. 21 Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God. 22 And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight. 23 And this is His commandment: that we should believe on the name of His Son Jesus Christ and love one another, as He gave us commandment. 24 Now he who keeps His commandments abides in Him, and He in him. And by this we know that He abides in us, by the Spirit whom He has given us.

the word "And" means that it links itself to the previous comment. Because you have done these things, because you are living in love, because you know Him, by this we know that we are of the truth.

The reason is because he's getting to the best part. the part that you can heave a sigh of relief, and come back to what really matters. "And" meaning practical outworking of love, that we should assure our hearts before Him - that  phrase "before Him" means "see His face"

the word "For" means because. meaning, if you apply this, and your heart condemn you, listen to the truth. "God is greater than our heart, and knows all things. Beloved if your heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God"

The confidence we express toward God, or in God, is linked to the asking of prayers. We ask not, because we do not think we have a need (James 4:2) Such things arise from our hearts related to not asking, our greed, our murder, our idolatry. all things that have fallen away when we came to Christ. That confidence is in the asking, as Children we ask. That confidence is also an expression of our identity in Him, we fail not because we have confidence in God. 

It's easy to get ahead of yourself when thinking this way. I mean if we are that invincible, that our old nature is taken away like the wind, Jesus, help me in my fear and unbelief! 

verse 22 is a reminder of the rest of the section. if we keep his commands and do what is right in his sight, then we ask and receive. 

It ends with what we believe. We believe that Jesus Christ is His Son, in his name we have life, and he gave us this commandment. It is not our own, but another that has said it for us. And if we keep His commands, chiefly to love one another, then we abide in Him. we Know this by the Spirit he has given us. 

There is a great battle waged over the loving of our brother. It is that which is won by Jesus in His effectual love and sacrifice toward us. Being a christian, and living in love is expressed in our love for each other. 

In what ways can we continue to love one another and live in love for the sake of Christ? 

All the glory goes to Him, whom has rested our hearts by His presence. 

How has that gone? is there any feedback for me from reading this devotion? I am actually really wanting to know, as I judge my own stuff only from my perspective. it would really help me so that I can get better at this.

Consecration

2015-11-20T15:50:00.000+13:00

Hey, there was an act that I performed back in May of 2011 which has marked me and my walk with God. (here is the post)

At the time, I entered into this because I wanted to know God more.

Just today, I was looking at how to give God everything. On thinking about how we all sin, and how our whole life is defined by that way of being, and in fact we all talk about breaking through and achieving freedom from the things that are inside of us, I realized something. To God we are sons, and to God we are daughters, we are all children of Him (Acts 17) we don't need to do anything to seek approval from Him, and what we are is not defined by what we do. However, God is God, he is our Father. When wrestling with God, Jacob asked "to bless me [with you]" he looked on the face of God, the shining of His face is the light in Heaven (Rev 21) the shining of His face is the acceptance of Sons, it is the security of daughters, it is the belonging of children. The shining of Jesus face is the filling of everything in Heaven above.

That's why I've decided to make a new commitment. This one is not like the commitments I have made before, it's not based on my performance, or my doubts, or my failings, it is a commitment I make with God above. It is already in force because I know Him whom my soul and all my heart and flesh desire. I am already consecrated by Him, as the shining of His face is the blessing that I am blessed with. I am not doing this for the sake of adding to something.

It says in his word the obedient heart follows. It says that you cannot really trust God if you don't obey. You can't become partners with Him, if you are hesitant about what you are going to do. I heard this earlier this week, when someone said that the reason most christians don't achieve great things is chiefly because they have never given God everything. You have to repent of not giving God everything. Let's make this relevant. I've been playing video games, knowing it was wrong, because I was only doing it for the sake of belonging, acceptance and security. I was doing it because I had pre-meditated myself to what it does. I bought into it, I was sold into the idea and then I worshipped it.

But it doesn't have life, it doesn't produce feelings, it doesn't cultivate intimacy, it isn't the reason you were born, it doesn't add to the security that you feel in your being, or crown you with every joy and passion.

I'm endeavouring by this commitment that I'm making, to do what has not been done before. Would you consider committing to being consecrated? If you're like me, then the prospect of a future is kind of apprehensive. What you're needing is confidence in what God says, and his plans and purposes. I'm not saying this in a vacuum. for me when I made the commitment to be anointed, i knew that I wanted to know God more.

Recently I went to a prayer and worship meeting organized by Kate and Noah Cremisino. I was marked. The conversations that I had, the people that I fellowshipped with, and the joy of simply being in God's presence literally broke me free from the chains of not being able to call God Abba! I realized then that we are all lovesick worshippers, and that our identity comes from being the one that Jesus loves, and in our being is crying out for Himself. and choosing with our energy to live for Him. meaning, its enough to simply think of Jesus. that's proof we love Him. People don't do that unless they choose to, they don't stand up in front of people and pour out their heart to Him in a vacuum. It's because He means that much to us, and its a joy to live entirely sold out for Him, because we know Him to be worth everything.

At the end I went to the front handled the mic and shared about how I called God Abba, and about how the direct result is i see my brothers and sisters as family, and have for the first time connected that He is my Father who chose me because of love for His Son, to ransom me from sin. My worth is astronomical to Him, but it's simply this, that He is my Father. He chose me, He loves me, delights to love me, and purposes all things as extensions of His love.

Just to let you know, from this post I'm planning on getting consecrated again. I think in the second instance the joy will be far greater. He planned this in my mind, because I specifically remember talking to my friend Steven Thorne because I saw Him in the crowd as I was encouraging people with the testimony of calling God Abba. He asked me why that was, I had no answer. now I do. I know that God wants me to be consecrated by him, because He is a Father himself, and I know him (there's so much more to say, but when God does something all there's left to do is obey!)

I'm aware that the nazirites in the day consecrated themselves, this was an extension of giving their whole lives to God - that they would undoubtedly do strange things to receive more from God. I'm obeying the command to be consecrated in this respect. It says in the word if anyone of the tribes want to give everything to God, that they ask the priest to consecrate them.

It is also because I know him, that he appreciates symbolism. But it's more than symbolism because this is my life. I need to say this, as an extension of what I shared before. It is a deeply emotional thing that I'm doing, because I can say how good God is! who he is! and where my confidence in life comes from!

Consider the verse in Psalm 27, where it says

"I would have despaired, unless I had believed, that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living"

Brothers, you will despair of hope without being connected with God. You will stake yourself on God because of His goodness, and see it with your own eyes. None of us can hope to achieve great things being outside of God. I'm offering you a new way to look at it

"I believe

and I will see

the goodness of you Lord,

will I yet live"

Let your faith totally rest on God, that in the end the belief in God will outweigh the pressures related to the journey that you're on.

This is what David, in experience, knew. You can see that he was no slave, and he was no jaded person. He said it as it was. He did not cloak himself and do evil. He was pressured by the world as He saw it. He was aware of God, and that was the only thing that mattered. None of us can say we are righteous by our deeds. None of us can fully comprehend God, when He says "I will reward you for your good" both in how you act, and in His desire to bless.

It is utterly beautiful what God says.

Psalm 84 is a psalm that unlocks the heart to worship

in it the joy of the psalmist is evident in every word, as He approaches before God. Not only does it identify security (that the sparrow finds a place to rest her young) but also the state by which He himself is lovely (because of His dwelling) the chief beauty of his dwelling, heaven, is because He is there. That is why grace and glory and goodness are intertwined. It is because he knows that the loving heart will cry "Heaven is filled with the light of You" You can't look in the scripture and not see the passionate heart of God being expressed by those that love Him. Don't see love like it's only capable of being from one to another. Don't look at God's love and say "His love is so utterly immeasurable to me" (what can I give to Him?) surely when you love another person, you are loving yourself? surely when you look at God's love, you are yourself loved?

And he did everything to make it so for you, He left nothing undone that needed to be for You to know Liberty. It's true that there are a bunch of things that you do, that are not connected to God. You have to go to school, have to go to work, have to check emails, go to doctor's appointments. where is God in that? If I go and choose to forget my own identity and destiny, and all in between, then my heart, it really needs liberty. It needs to live again.

For me it was true that I put those things as opposing the idea of God, and didn't confess that my living, breathing and moving is in Him. that's what I think happens when you find worth in what you do. You can't rest. You can't appreciate that God is enough. the idea of doing public speaking, or doing tests, or talking to people, going to games, or the nervousness you feel in thinking no one will think of you when you're gone. that was my story. It's not the end of it.

For me, how wise the ancient Hebrews were!

they dwelled in the tent of Shem, they are the success story, the ones that God looks at. the mighty men who risked all, the various people in various places that stood up for God in the arena. The people infused with life on the inside, the faith that moves mountains, and conquers kingdoms. That refuses to give up, that presses in if only that He might come. that stands on promises and gives grace to hearers, the ones that purpose to live for love in a day and age that works for profit. Isn't that precious? isn't that worth it? Isn't the purpose of God's heart, to aid refugees, enough in itself? isn't the great likelihood that those who do such things are also looking at God's face, staring into love, and hearing His applause, saying "this one I have given all for" this is not a vacuum. This is not some cheap experiment it is the audience of Heaven and the song that they sing is "Worthy is the Lamb!"and "Salvation belongs to our God and to the Lamb" you are not alone, and you are not forgotten. You are precious because He says your beautiful. the fragrance of your love enough because you know Him. What i mean is, that if you want to appreciate the real beauty of someone you have to know them. There's no excuses.

I got worked up there. All you need to know, all anyone needs to know, is precious! beautiful! worth it! being able to love again is the sweetest thing in my life right now. Being able to intertwine God's story with my own, that is the best. My heart, God is enough! I will yet praise Him! I will yet choose Him! Can you hear the cry of a worshipper? I don't think that love is enough, i know its enough. I know its everything. I know with certainty that Jesus is applauding me in Heaven and that with my breath, the breath that He gives me, it is enough. God is enough and will ever be my portion in this life.

You should probably know my biggest anxiety is the way to relate to my tutors. I've already tried to be confident before my tutors, but if I'm not confident, gosh I can tell myself strange things when I have a warped idea of what people say - coming from my past of being bullied, and treated shamefully. It's precious. it's life! it's worth more than rubies! It's worth greater riches than gold! For all that's good, I have to believe in love.

And that if I withhold things, its not because of fear, it's because of trust again.

I hope you've been blessed by the possibility of life. What has happened for you? what is your story? what is it you're struggling with? you may not want to be consecrated -

For me, consecration is the way to purity. consecration is the way to boundless life. consecration is the way to pursue victory over sin. So I will fill myself of God wherever and whenever I can. That is why I am being consecrated.

I think of it in terms of a marriage vow. I'm dependent on Him.

A testimony is powerful. this is what I've given today. If you want to know, come to me. I will try to make known.

All I'm saying, my prayer for you is that you increase in the knowledge of God, and that you find his heart, and that you have the courage to accept Him, and to leave it in His hands. Don't fret about tomorrow, or anxiousness you have regarding where things are coming from. Hidden in the heart of God is enough for every need of your heart. I'm telling myself this, since I am looking at the future currently. I'm ending my degree, my student allowance is ending, and I am only secure financially because of the generosity of others. Isn't that the way to live? my name means gift.

Update to my Goals and Dreams page

2015-07-13T18:15:00.000+12:00

Goals and Dreams

Draft of Song: All to You I give

2015-06-24T13:30:00.001+12:00

Here is the download link

Reflection on Financial Support, Forgiveness, and Being Ministers of Reconciliation

2015-04-24T12:14:00.000+12:00

To be frank, this title is too short, and this encompasses alot more than the title. Help me to find a new title.

I find that my attempt at making sense of my life has only caused me anxiety, and a sense that I'm unstuck. For those that believe in God, the prize is Himself. He is the reward. I remember being at Oxford and being so struck by forgiveness, by the certainty that I had fellowship with Him (which, at the time, i did not understand, though I had to tell someone about it) that I did share, and honestly, it was just my enthusiasm. I still think that God spoke to me, and that He wanted me to share it, even if I didn't know what I was sharing.

I am in Polytech now, and there are lots of demands on my time, on my future and on my relationships with others. I actually find that I'm not capable of sharing with others what is going on for me, this is, ironically, because God is speaking to me. And I'm endeavouring to be able to for the first time to share it with others. I am not in a state where I do not know, I do know, and yet it is because I know, that I am refraining. Let me explain, i am not talking about getting a job, or travelling, or visiting friends, or things that I do. I'm saying that I'm moved in my heart. This is the why behind my refraining.

Some could say that I have lived this way for ever (it seems like forever, since I did my DTS at YWAM) I mean, I'm not ashamed of God, and I know that my friends know that I love Him. Some people are guilty of stepping too far in God, by simply saying, "Whatever it is he asks me I will do" without reflecting on it, that God is not interested in just machines, but in our heart. No one can encounter God and not be changed. I am struggling at this time to be like Jesus, and practice what I preach. No one can encounter God and not be changed, since the one that has encountered Him, wants to give Him everything.

This is what enables God to give me dignity and value in seasons of unrest, and perplexity. It is because my hope is in Him, and that my belief in Him is stemming from His love for me. This is why I am sick of the pressure related to this course that I'm doing! not sick of the work, the every day, the mundane, the purpose that is being worked out in me. no. But the illusion that if I perform I will succeed. Performance driven is awefully subjective, since what is performance to one person, may be a dream for another person. That means that when God says "come follow me" he intends to dash our hopes of performance, and offer us His heart. This means that it is right for me to reflect on the anxiety and what has caused me to be unstuck, so that I should hold onto Him.

I think personally this is done by reflecting on the past. it is to know the journey that I'm on - to be happy and accept what has happened. Upon reflection today, I realised that at the heart of it is Him, since without Him in this, without the joy that embraces my heart, without His beauty and glory being conveyed to me, without my constant desire to encounter Him, that would indeed come unstuck. I could not be where I am without Him.

Let me attempt to address the three things that I set out to address.

1) Financial Support

I have a history with financial support, as I have gloried in. I think in some ways the desire of the Jews, to bless God and give, that can be a motive to give of itself. It's because unlike the idols, God gives. He is the abundant giver. I have reflected that a person ought to give because of this. It should not be enough just to wait on God and expect provision. let me explain that. It is because in our mind we decide that such a thing is a resistance to faith. to believe for the increase, to put hope in the abundance of God. It is a touchy subject, because I know people that expect God to provide, and He does. All I'm saying is, you dont give credit enough. The purpose of God in financial giving is to bless and give. This ought to be the basis for our continual enjoyment of giving as is needed. The testimony is that you have the expectation of God's abundance to come and provide. That means that you already have one over someone that lives entirely by their own means. Entirely by their own merit. In that sense, "righteousness is rewarded" but we know that righteousness is by faith. If one man hears, let Him give, if he is not under compulsion, let Him bless. Righteousness that comes by faith doesn't seek to glory in the giver. it is in the glory of the one who gives. This is why God has blessed, will bless and forever more shall be blessed.

2) Forgiveness

I think we all need forgiveness. this is why He forgave. Our satisfaction of Him comes from the determination and power of Him to forgive sin and debt. Our dependence on Him is as one that has a continual debt. You will never out give God, nor can indeed can you. He is the one that provides, blesses, instructs and endows. He is the one made to sanctify, the one to justify, the one to glorify. He is One and One Lord (I just found out about that this week) In fact, if sin is a debt, then we are all debtors. Debtors not to sin. But debtors to grace. We are all under the same charge, and all under the same sentence. I will explain it like this: If you can never out give God, then you ought also to be the respondent in this relationship. if you will never out give God, then our freedom comes from his gift. I am learning about this God. I am learning about this one who "sets apart for Himself him who is godly, He will answer me when I call" not to have the same favor, indeed of His face, is to also be like the harlot that goes away without sin erased. I don't know much about sexual sin, but I understand that it is a debt that does not go away. You are sold under it, so that you will sin against your own body. It somehow has to do with generations. We are all descended from the same man, and we all are terrible. There is none good, and none that does righteously. Being able to say that you have freedom now, that is worth more than all the worlds riches, since it has all been accrued by evil gain and means. Indeed, that means that belonging to God is the root cause of all our ills.

3) Being Ministers of Reconciliation

Having made us ministers, we extend what He has given to us to others. In 2 Corinthians it says that this ministry is "to be reconciled" this means "to have been offered a pardon, so that one can enter into relationship with the one that offers" It is true that I don't think on this enough, especially every day, as far as my circumstance ought to say is most important. To be washed, to be encouraged, to be strengthened, to be wholly capable of finishing the task. I ought to say "this is my ministry" - own it as one that enters into the insistence that I will concede this is the most important thing, and that I will also do it. I do not know the lengths that my Abba will go to bring this to pass. I really don't. Upon reflection of sexual sin, I realised that God is with me in it. that is remarkable. How has he been here before? it teaches me that I have a God that is beyond intensity. that He is the definition of love.

I hope in all this I have communicated my heart, for at this time, I feel like the last thing that I want is to press on. But press on I must, if I am to be bound to Him. My heart is as one that is bound to Him, and His joy and glory to be realised. that is why the motivation to be bonded is indeed beauty.

Continue to gaze on beauty.

Considering the past year: A look into biblical hope

2015-04-12T14:06:00.001+12:00

Introduction

You'll be pleased to know, that I'm doing well and that this post is in response to God's work in my life in this season. I've been making good progress in my studies, but have been struggling with pressure and indeed with the future. It occured to me today (as I write this intro) that indeed I have no regrets about the future, for I seem to have been led along very peaceably into things that I've always said I was going to be about. I can't express in words just how much tenderness is at work in me to be able to say that, nor indeed, of the thankfulness that rises from my heart, which I hope to be unbidden, and that he does these things because of His leadership over my life. That is the lesson I learned from Davids life. Truly, I would give all to Him right now.

Where I am right now, I feel a bit beside myself. I have come unstuck a little bit. That's the honest truth. I don't know why, but I'm absolutely frozen at things that are supposed to be easy to get. Sharing with others, loving my neighbour, being a productive part of society, warring against sin, and the importance of prayer, fasting and giving. They all seem to be somewhat hard and to be honest, make me feel jaded. That's what happens when things come unstuck. I remember my history, and about how I did many things for God, and that what I'm looking at now seems pale in comparison. I once meditated on the prospect that after a missions trip, people would come unstuck. Am I having an extended debrief withdrawal? am I experiencing culture shock? all the jitters and signs that I should be getting help, and ironically i'm the one giving help.

I don't want to paint a wrong picture. I'm absolutely committed to being a part of my church, endeavouring to share my faith with others, to make God known, to embrace my future and be invested in. All these are good, the hard reality is that I feel like a war is going on inside of me and if I talk to people about it that they won't understand. They don't realise a battle is raging for their souls. They don't have an inkling to describe what it's like to redefine your life, or concern themselves with what others think. Am I just over-analyzing this, or am I likely the only one that is going through this?

I was in the same place last year. Somehow, God was on the case, today He reminded me of a time last year where I was absolutely challenged by financial pressures. I found that I was not relating to it in the way that I thought. I was going over it like I went through sleep while in hospital. Being encouraged that everything was alright, but should I be doing something? What I mean is, people can appear well enough saying things that sound good, but it's not good advice. None of it. In fact, it was summarised in a few words. I need help, I need people to care, and to know what is going on. It's true that in my community, that there are people that care deeply for me. It is true that in the instance that I am in, that I am searching for recognition, accountability, someone to foot the bill, and act as if the things that I'm going through are important. God has dealt with all of them in his kindness and grace. There are people now who deeply care for me. There are those that I had not considered to be friends (you know who you are) that are now a part of my life. Indeed, I've learnt that I am to desire God. And that my delight, as a product of His delight is the reason why He likes me.

These are, in God's way, deeply troubling issues. the pressures that I am facing are unbearable. I feel like my whole life is going to give way, since I'm making bold moves to change who I am. What do you say when it is you on the chopping block, when its your life on the altar? when its you offering the sacrifice, and you are the one that are characterized by worship (a complete giving of yourself to God)? If i left it there, I would be doing a poor job. Lets look at the things that He's done.

He provided enough for me to get through the last few weeks of the year so that I could receive some support over the holiday period.

He re-energized my heart to find a flat where I could be with God.

He put delight in my heart, as in the revelation that I have many good friends, and I myself make friends easily. That is still bearing fruit and growing.

He has surrounded me with friends that care for me. Who pray for me. Who are there for me. Whose designs are from God.

He also gave me new dna. He reminded, and instructed me, in what really matters.

I learnt something profoundly impacting while I was going through transition this season. Lessons I want to share with you, in the hopes that you can also go through the pressure with dignity and value, even if it means suffering and dying for Jesus. God knows that I'm that committed to Him.

He taught me to confess the things that I am in Him, and what He sees in me. In fact it's bigger than that. Truly, all that I know of God is bound up in what He says of me. Truly, to look at life with dignity and value is to be stuck on God. That means that confessing what He says about you is also confessing who He is. It is saying back to Him what He knows of Himself. I will add to that, singing.

You see, the face is the reflection of His own beauty. Our hearts unashamed and radiant (Psalm 34:5) are the expressions of blessedness come from Him. This is why the godliness that God chooses for us, because of our heart before Him, enables us to hope. The reciting of things that he has spoken for us, and in which we find our greatest joy and inheritance (crown) are those that produce so much change in our being, that it would result in us owing to the blessedness of His crown and blessing of all of His works. I want to stand before Him one day confessing and proclaiming, delighting in and satisfied, before the one that has always been. In that I am not alone, and I owe my goodness in life to the one that chose and love me, seeing me in my pity and coming to my rescue. He will at the end give me the desire of my heart, since it rises unbidden from the place that accords me to utmost glory and grace.

If that paragraph was like, "huh?" then proceed further and see what it is that has taken place in my heart to produce such a change in me, a change, though storms should come and waves be tossed, should not cause me to tremble, but the anchor is steadfast and firm, and will in all respects, save, deliver and lead to utmost triumph. That is the reason that I give all for this man, and why I have continued to sing Him while everything should be failing.

Bible Study

Lets look at a verse that has given me such consolation that He knows and feels good things about me.

"My heart is overflowing with a good theme;
I recite my composition concerning the King;
My tongue is the pen of a ready writer.

2 You are fairer than the sons of men;

Grace is poured upon Your lips;

Therefore God has blessed You forever." (Psalm 45:1-2)

I will give a line by line commentary on these verses.

The psalmist is expressing what is in His heart, and writing it concerning the one whom He calls King. He is penning a letter concerning Him.

(1a) What things make your heart overflow?

and indeed, what things are good that make your heart overflow.

When I started to meditate and confess these verses, I was struck by the fact that this is one who writes what is on His heart, and that the first thing that describes the instance of his love, is that the theme he writes, is both causing his heart to overflow and that it's good.

I have to confess that also, my heart when reading these verses was in a bad place, and I did not say this as my experience but wanted it to be true. I wanted so badly to be stuck on God. Consider that there are many things that you do with your time, when is the time that you can be alone, and allow yourself to pour out before God? indeed, when is it true that is the case for you? when you are entirely pouring out and in that, I find the notion of self to be unable to contain what is here described. "I love me, I delight in me, I have good thoughts about me, I am the greatest, I am truly wonderful, and I love what I can do, and make everything that I do about me" What is so profoundly conceited about that is not that we should not think of ourselves, but that if we allow ourself to be defined by that, as innocent as we claim it to be, we are indeed shutting the door on the joy of knowing true delight. 

What is stark about God is that here is one that pours out himself before Him, and enjoys it. to overflow is not the product of conceitedness, as I have already described, but rather, that such a one could be utterly pre-occupied on the thought of God. I have to confess that as I was meditating on these things I came unstuck. Shortly after having such a delightful visitation, in which my heart in all respects found freedom, and knowing what I had to do, my own desire became pre-occupied with other things. In other words, it is a continual washing, that is itself only capable of being expressed in the bounds of relationship with God. As much as I tried to deny it, my desire to express joy in Him was met by ugly habits that I thought had been removed. 

(All I can imagine, is that God is not displeased with me, and that looking back on what I said, and the things that I wrote, what could motivate Him but love?) But I found that it was given. Therefore I must choose it. My belovedness in His sight is a reflection of the choice that I made. He gave His life and what exists now is the freedom of that exchange.  not only did nothing of your belovedness in His sight come from your own effort, it is equally true that nothing can keep you from the joy of which He is the sum and substance of all your hopes. 

(1b) Here in we have the desire of him expressed who is peering into the heart of one, the King. Not only is it for Him, the subject is of Him. the one to whom this belongs is only here described, and the contents of it, ratified by the oracle given. It is noted for us, since the veil has been removed, and we have gazed on the face of the one to whom He sings. 

The point is here, that this is one that does not know Him. (do you think He writes such a beautiful psalm about David? do you think it's referring to any earthly King?) The more I found about this individual, the more I realise just how much "my heart overflows at the good theme of Him" it is equally given, that "The Spirit and the Bride say 'come' and He comes" (Rev 22:17-21) to deny this common theme is to doubt the very character of the one that we have believed in. Is it enough for Him that we should turn away on this most needed aspect of His return, and act as if we are beggars before Him? the point made is that such a reflection, coming from the heart of God to us, and ratified in scripture, is that His heart is the bleeding heart, not ours. Any reflection of that which is limited is on our part and not on His. The display of His glory and goodness is that He cares deeply, and that which is enjoyed by His people is the work of His glory. In two words "He receives" 

Not only that, but Christ showed Himself King by dying on a cross and being raised to life. Not that He then took a literal, geographic Kingdom at His ascension, but that it was promised to Him by God on account of His being worthy (Rev 5:2) 

This makes the pertinance of this psalm to be less than trivial in understanding the end of the Age. If we cannot tolerate a bleeding Messiah, then we will not tolerate a dictatorial King. To place yourself in one over the other is to put yourself in the firing line. 

Also, as far as scripture is concerned, it says of Him "You are a Priest forever, in the Order of Melchizedek" Who was a King. He was King of Salem (meaning King of Peace) and His name means King of Righteousness. If we are to forget the most important aspect of His reign, then we will spit in His face before His day. This was the great hinderance of Judas. He knew that Jesus was the Messiah. He knew that the leadership were against Him. He knew that He would likely not see the day that He hoped for, where in Jesus would reign and all the Apostles be as Judges of His Kingdom. This was the despair of His heart, being rooted only in sentimentality and conceitedness. If Peter thought too little of himself, Judas thought too much. It was because He considered His own life to be ended at the betrayal that He could not see through to the end of the day. he would die and leave nothing to His ancestors. 

Like Peter, we are in a day when deception and accusation clouds our witness. We are in the throws of death, just as Peter and Judas. We are convinced that we will betray Him, and that is everything. We are likely to give an account to Him at the end, and this motivates us to think wisely of our time here on earth. To imitate Him in this day is to have hope regardless of our circumstance. It is rightly to consider the work of His cross, the depth of His love, and His succour of reward at His coming. It is to not be ashamed of Him. 

Notice the two conflicting reports of Judas and Peter 

"Why this waste, for this fragrant oil might have been sold for much and given to the poor"

and 

"Why not now, I would lay my life down for your sake"

Judas flat out denied the legitimacy of anointing Him for burial, where as Peter grappled with the concept that suffering and dying for Him, out of love, could have merit to it. Judas flat out denied Jesus by saying that He would not be accountable to Him on judgment day. Whereas Judas and Peter are two disciples, one has a completely different world view. this world view was inescapably connected with Satan. It may as well have been Judas who had rebuked Jesus, for it was just the same thought that motivated him.

(1c) Now we start getting into the theme of the letter. It is a love song to a King that is not known. it is a homage to beautiful adoration that is worthy of the affections that he has. It is in anticipation of better things, more sure things, that have found their way into the entrance of Heaven, and into its Courts. The theme and subtleties of it are such that it could be written by a group of like-minded, aspiring theologians that are grappling with God's existance. It is the worthy addition of song that makes them tune their hearts to sing to His grace (the word grace is used in the next verse)

Such is their preoccupation that they sing to Him. such is their reminder of their blessedness a virtue that could not be escaped in this entire psalm. it is rightly considered to be an anthem, that Has at it's inception the thought of God's manifold dealings with Humanity. it is an ode to the glories of Heaven and to the one who sits there. The point of it is that it is received, but ever more, that it takes reception in them. Very well could they be tuning themselves to incline to graces (Song 1:2) or to the name of Him. In fact, any great pursuit of God is met by His loveliness and beauty. It also refers to the instruction that Has been placed before Him. He is ready, He will write, and He will record what is given to him. 

Rather than trying to apply this to some situation, or indeed, of the reasonableness of it, I will just instruct you to go away and to find out something of God for yourself. More often than not, these pauses are instructive, and it is not to be taken only as a glib statement, and with no more audience involvement or appreciation. the reason that He writes and sings is because His heart has experienced and known the one that He is writing for, and by, and whom. 

I will say this much, that nothing like it is found in all of scripture. I believe I can be right in saying that. it's true that Moses asked for God's glory, that David was enraptured by God's mercy, that a generation sung the praises of God who is good, that Jesus declared the name of the Father to us, that we are the children of the ones that have inherited the promises of God, that we stand as the blessed of the earth and that by legal right we have been grafted into the family of God. This demands careful attention and we need to know these things, if we are to apprehend God. But whereas they are dealing with things that we can discuss, these are things of the heart. Without so much as a desire for Him, we will go on the same and all our years of pursuing various things will come unstuck. The tragedy is that there are people that don't know any better. There are ones that don't know that life could be so much better. And equally, that some have given up and quitted. These ought not to be so, since God wrestles with our heart every day. Somedays we come unstuck. it is those days when we find that our life is vanity, and that nothing matters. that is actually God's grace (Psalm 90) a precursor for what is to come, when we desperately search for meaning and do not find it. 

God give me more understanding.

But he doesn't leave us there! Just like the tomb empty on the Lords day, just like the reasonableness with which David defends himself before God, we don't have to despair that nothing is coming our way. The point is, that God sets himself who is godly apart for Him. (Psalm 4:3) This godliness is  our own standing in God. Whereas we despair because our heart lacks the freedom and clarity that come from God, In God there is no such a thing. He purifies us by our commitment to Him. I'm not saying that He is dependent on us to make that commitment, but rather, that just as David recalls God's choosing of Him, that is in itself the godliness, the holiness, that God imparts to us. Holiness of God is enjoyment of Him, and the defence that we long for in God is found deep inside, so that we should be unconcerned with what comes our way, but trusting fully in Him. 

Instead of doing a line by line from now on, I will simply try to explain the second verse in its entirety

The first verse (for that is what the preceeding verse introduces) is referring to His impeccable beauty and the words that come from His mouth. In other words, "favor". Note that the therefore in this verse is not to be taken as a greek mindset. We would say "this does not apply to me, since who can say they are blessed forever" or indeed, that eternity is going to remember Him. the word for blessing here is the traditional Hebrew word for blessed, which finds its first mention in Genesis 1, where the creation is "blessed" and God rested on the seventh day. this denotes that every other instance of the word (whether it be for the conditional obedience of the Law, or indeed, of God's manifold blessing, the blessing of a Father) falls under the right and true method of blessing with which we find all the fullness of God evident in our good. 

This verse falls under the correct and right appreciation of blessing as instituted by God (it was God who blessed) 

I do not feel I am capable to fully articulate what is here described, other than what it says is true. the one to whom He calls King, is also the one that is unrivaled in all His capacities unto the appraisal that indeed, because of His goodness and moral accountability He will steward the blessing of God forever. This is a human trait would you believe it! It was given to us to have dominion. The word for dominion is "stewarding" this is what He did when He named the beasts. This is what He is continuing to do, in promoting God, and making intercession for us. This is what He will continue to do both now and forever as He is invigorated by the Father, and dispensing His power and heart over all of those who call on Him. 

To be "blessed forever" is indeed in God's counsel, and we would be right to be terrified, if indeed we have the same kind of spirit as He. For we can ask for dominion, and we can implore His counsel, and we can know His heart and His ways, and endeavour to obey Him in all of our deeds, and consider that God indeed will enable us to live righteous (moral accountable) lives that are reflected in our words. The word grace is here used because all the words of His mouth are pure. In this respect, He commands blessing and authority and power in all things.

It should not escape us either, that the one to whom God appoints authority and sovereignty, is also the one that obeyed God perfectly, and that here in is a description of His ascension and His perfect life being manifested in and through us who are overflowing with His goodness.

This means all that it proclaims to be, that indeed God is stewarding Him with the task of our enjoyment and the certainty that we will reign (have dominion) We gave it up when we sinned and left the garden, and in God's foresight He gave it to one man, to rule from shore to shore.

Conclusion  

Does not God know His own word? I have to admit that my own capacity is lacking. I am trying to articulate what I know to be true, because I have the Holy Spirit. I don't necessarily need to know it to understand it, but rather, going off my own experience, I know it to be true. This is the only way to approach the Father and have intimacy with Jesus. Without our heart, we will continue to just be used by Him, but have no understanding of the mysteries of Him. to understand and steward His mysteries is to be judgmental about all things, and you let God be God. This is somehow lacking from our western mindset. This is what I meant when I said "don't adopt greek thinking" 

My hope, is that indeed, you might discover the hope that there is in Christ, and that being filled with Him, you could endeavour to suffer and die for Him. I don't say this as a matter of fact, or indeed, as being unrelated, but as I started, so shall I end, that dignity and value are found here. to be who you are created to be is no short fall, but is the entire pursuit of God in You. Only God knows who you are, and it is true that you have unique and testing experiences. To suffer and die then is not the betrayal that Judas felt, but it is rather the hope that Peter had in that He loved Him. 

Don't be hard or cold hearted, Don't be like Judas, don't betray Him for bread. Don't even consider that you are like that, or that your insincerity is somehow tragic and betrayal the fruit of your own considerations. Atheism and suicide are at the heart of the devil in this generation. To be at this place in God is not the leap you thought it to be, but only the reasonable response to the way He feels about you. And to endeavour to change and become like Him is not the good works trail that you believe it to be, but rather, the aspiration of a heart that grows in intimacy and love with Him. Who would not like to be like the one you love? it would be cherished in you forever, so that you could mark with dignity and value what God has done in you, which is worth the wait, and much more blessed. 

There's themes that I have only touched on here. And there is likely many things that could be said that I have not. I just trust that I have written what was supposed to be said. Be stuck on God. 

I've touched a little on the promoting of God. We look at a sunrise and wonder, we gaze on the mountains and are in awe, we feel the breeze in the wind, and we are thankful for all these things. But when we think of God, who all those things are true of, the idea to praise Him and be filled with wonder is reserved only for those that are in the office or station that requires them to. The sun rises and sets, and we have waxed and waned. All things are not new under the sun, but when we know God, and have appreciation for Him, we're content to leave it to others. Not only do the heaven's declare the glory of God, and all through history we have found people astounded by God's works, the same can be true of those who have seen the glory of God and told of it. They were and are still in the earth today, yet our attempt at making God's name great has only made us bitter and twisted. 

Nothing ever happened by self-reliance. You didn't get born self-reliant. You didn't go through trauma self-reliant. You didn't get to where you are today by being self-reliant. No, the reason that I put such confidence in others, and place my hope in them, and love them, is because I need to love again, it won't do to isolate myself. I need to feel again, though I should be jaded. I need to have dignity and value again, and not put myself in a box that I'm afraid it could happen again. What has taken place has taken place in my heart, and that's why I am where I am today, because such a one made the move to love me, and such a one believes and hopes in me, so that I should learn to love Him, and delight because I feel the companionship that He gives to me. That is the reason I can't look back, is not because I became self-reliant, but because I have a voice that I listen to that tells me who I am.

Missions Update: Expressions of Counting the Cost

2015-04-12T13:28:00.002+12:00

I've been speculating about what I should say or do, and I've decided to give a short update of what has been taking place for me. Hope this blesses your heart, and that you should continue to abide in my heart where I am today.

"Do you know me?" He said.
He is speaking hard hitting questions today.
Though I know Him, this is a forceful thing to say, pointing at the joy and crown of fellowship with Him. If not, I ought to go packing. Is it wise of me to act such, that when people say "How are you?" to give a carefully thought out response? It is the same careful consideration that at times comes out of me through insightful questions. I owe my allegiance to you to this vast reckoning of faith.

That is why I endeavour to be whole-hearted before Him, and not be just another face, that is why such a question demands me think about. To count the cost. to inquire, to perceive, to be ready, and not to act like another.

He said me to today "I show no favoritism" it is before all mens' hearts that He comes. You alone have chosen me, and that choice is now in my heart. Indeed, that joy of mine is fulfilled because I have heard your voice, attributed to you the joy and crown of pursuing you, knowing that the yearning in my heart comes from extravagance of love that is worth it all. This is why the desire to be steadfast, to be confident, it arises from my heart for no one else, and bids me to come into this banquet, full of food, and lovely beyond measure.

Someone said to me what they were journeying through this season. It was a rhema word to come. I hope to share it finally, though it was complete last week, it comes through even clearer today. How necessary hope is in life, and how needful it is then that we are stoked by the fires of his compassion at all times! of his mercy, and his love, his faithfulness and kindness so that we should hope in Him. Indeed, the heart that does not have hope is reflected only in many avenues devoid of love, so that we should be rejected, that we should be as orphans. So that hope should well up in us is a reflection of the beauty heart of God, of his face, of the necessity then is the heart and face to be radiant, and every heart to be unashamed by Him, in his words, his actions, his pleasure and His choosing and love. This then is the hope that characterizes our life, knowing that God reckons justice to be more needful than we realise. That he reckons his judgment to be just and all held guilty before Him. how needful then is it that God intervene! That he come through. Just some thoughts to think upon. Break out in hope, break out in rejoicing and delight! gladness.

Unrelenting, deep and quantifiable expressions of joy.

You want to be with me

2015-02-21T19:19:00.000+13:00

I don't need to be perfect
Your love does not come to me
based on my performance
You have been leading me
so gently, so kindly
to let me know that
when you look at me, what it really comes down to, is
You want to be with me, and
there ain't nothing that I can do
to make you change the way
you feel about me
If I lack the resolve to
make decisions based on
what I know to be important
your love carries me
I will fear nothing, really!
This love, hidden in my heart
is like a garden producing such
varied emotions, that you have to
walk in the cool of the garden
to reassure me
walk in the dark of the night
when things are releasing their
insistence to be loved.
when the cool is reflecting
what is inside of me
and unless I go through this
I'll never truly see
that I am coming
to the dawn of a new day
Everyone needs to be loved
and I have found it all in you
furnish the sails and scrub the decks
I am going on a journey i know not where
my heart says not to look back
and when I awaken I will be with You
such a love leading me through
is not to be overstated or approved
it comes from the inside of me
so there is nothing left to say

#processing

Blogging while it hurts

2015-01-05T14:55:00.001+13:00

Okay, I'm going to try make sense of what is happening for me right now, and be soberly honest about the pressures that are being worked out in me, pressures that are in earnest, in recognition of the calling that I've said yes to in God.

I wish I had some pictures...

The first thing to leave when you're going through adversity is your sense of constancy, and security, and it's easily wrapped up in lies of peace and safety, and the delusion that things will make sense, so you don't need to do anything. It then proceeds to eat away at the time that you are holding so precious, to the point where you are not sure what you should do anymore. All of this leads to a lack of confidence in self, and ultimately results in your time being used to find comfort and solitude. This is all the trap of the devil to bring you into grief and accusation, and that you should give up and quit.

How do I know this? it's because I recently came back from a trip to Tauranga, fully hoping that the Father would capture my heart, release to me every good grace, and enable me to follow Him whole-heartedly. This because He gave a clear answer to me in response to my dilemmas and plans for the future. He said "waste your life as a fragrant offering to me. Consider not the cost to you"

Can I even begin to consider what that means to me, the one that has gone through various trials at which I have come out with greater faith, courage and love for others, and see it turn around my fears, replace it with daring and courage, and give me boldness to be able to address the issues that were in my heart, the fears that gripped me, though I never thought about them. Does that sound like anyone to you? I hope that in all this you might receive some consolation, and my belief is that you will. God is not a man that He should lie.

You see, God is not a miss. People would try to say He's a miss, for allowing trials to happen, trials that buffet, and sowing dischord and doubt, trials that are from Him. I didn't have the words to say that could mean something to my friend, but it seems I have an answer now. I've never been good at coming up with things on the spot. I have had to think about it, and that is why, what He needs to hear, is that You are God's friend. You are His goto man, the one that He confides in, the one that He purposes to know, and to make it all joy in Himself. That is what you were created for, O man, that you might walk in the ways of the LORD, and be fully pleasing to Him. David was pleasing to God because He wanted to know the LORD.

There is a word used in the New Testament to describe this relationship, this relationship of loving trust, of intimacy, of abiding in Him, of faithful love, and of covenant and consecration unto God's purpose. It is the word "Abba" it uses this word to describe the Father, the one that knit you together, who knows all of your bones, who picks you up in your sadness, works out His purposes with gladness, that is sown together with you in the task of His heart, of relating to Him based on intimacy. For what other way could there be? Do I say this as if I have got all the answers and can balm all of your fevers? no, i'm just mentioning it, because it means so much to me right now. It's what I'm needing to communicate. This is because it's all found in Him.

More than anything, I'm wanting to communicate that I have found my Abba, and that I am His Son, and truly there is no more rewarding experience than that. That is why I hold his promises to be true, and can glimpse them, with the eye of faith, that enables me to know that He works everything for good, it is Himself that consoles me, and brings me up in His truth, that delights in me, and His delight of me is my delight. My delight is in Him.

I seem to be giving therapy to my conscience and psychology right now. These are like washing rivers over a barren wasteland (have you known what that is like?) it's like the promise of redemption springing up from the ground. It's like I can believe and trust and praise Him even when it hurts, and give back to Him and ascribe to Him the greatness that His glory brings. It's all in slowly and surely enabling my heart to breathe again, and to let my heart be vulnerable to pain and hurt, and love, like a washing balm is healing me with forgiveness, and reconciliation, and restoration. Who would have known that my heart would be capable of returning from such a cocktail of lies and treachery. That treachery shall not cling to me that have supped with the Savior and been partner in with His death. Even if that was what I was capable of, that is not my lot any more, I have heard His words spoken over me "I want to Know You" with such fire in His eyes as befits one that Has given all for love. The words of Abba being witnessed in the garden when the Son affirms His Father's love, and prays:

"Father, I desire, that they whom You have given to me, may be with me where I am, that they may behold my glory which you have given me, For you loved me before the foundation of the world"

If that is not life itself, if that is not true delight and the source of every pleasure and enjoyment in life, then my heart, receive that once more! Receive it once more! that I might turn my heart to Him again, and be filled again with His love.

You see it's quite simple. Having done everything, He has made the way open for me. He has given me an open door that shall never be shut. And it's also a temptation to claim that lesser things are more important than the consuming grace and glory that are at work in my heart, bearing witness to the testimony that has taken deep transaction in the uttermost parts of my soul, working out redemption. It's also a temptation to say "I was made for this ministry" or "I was made for this job" or "I was made for what I can do" my talents, skills and rights that I have, when in fact, it comes to us, it comes to us, and we are the recipients of it. We are the ones that this comes to, and we are the ones chosen for it - we are called to be such before God, and to live abounding in that grace that washes over us, calling us deeper, and making us gold.

Love of God,
Take my heart
Consume with flame and truth
Love of God
A holy heart
is what I want,
that I might be with You

Sometimes the grace of God is to go through trials. the grace of God is holding your head up when you are unable to go on, and to firmly fix in your mind, "He is coming for me!" Do I know all of this? Am I aware of the devil's schemes. Each of you, you know what your weakness is, and what it is that trips you up, what it is that causes you to stumble, and fill you with envy, or embarassment, or grief, or rage. "I am better than that!" you think. and it doesn't seem to go away. Just remember, "your closer to Him today than when you started" - You are more beautiful today than when He met you. He sees beauty in You. That is His only motivation. That you might draw near to Him whom your soul loves (I say that because you do, it really is real, even in the insincerity and other things you busy yourself with)

I started this article, "Blogging while it hurts" should I not rather have called it "the receiving of every good comfort and grace" He will come, and He will not delay.

There's still things that are on my heart, but it would not be the place to share them. But I've stepped out of the boat and am walking on the sea. If you want to talk about it, yes, if You are moved by what God's doing on my heart at the moment, and would like to hear more about my desire to use the internet to enable the gospel to reach every tribe, then read and respond. It's close to my heart, because what I have been doing recently is a degree in computer programming at CPIT. I have alot of reasons that I feel strongly about this and what God has raised up for me. I want to use my talents and skills in computer programming so that the internet could be a medium for promoting the love of Jesus.

Yes, and if you are drawn to make a fresh commitment to God, because of His love, and because of His grace during however many of trials, and wish to make a commitment to going deeper in God, and knowing that He has spoken over your life, and made promises to you, then I encourage you to go deep in Him and hear His words to you, "I am Your Abba" And I would pray that you have the strength to overcome every obstacle and temptation and find your heart longing for Him with a godly love that comes from His delightfulness, His belovedness, His beauty, and His gladness. These are all expressions of who He is wanting to be to you, and which you can enjoy on a daily basis.

If you are just interested to find out more about the love of Jesus, and why He died on the cross for every sin and shame, then also know that He wants to know You. He is consumed with the fervancy, zeal and jealousy of one that has given all for love.

I would say that it's good to have some courage and confidence, it never hurt anyone. I think in some ways I'm realising just what courage and confidence come from, which is identity in Him. All I need is the love of Jesus. But I will say that you can't authentically know God without knowing Him. I look forward to many more encounters with the grace of God in my weakness.

The photos were used by permission of Elizabeth Keller, Samantha Herod and Anna Seeley. Thanks so much for letting me use the photos!

Thoughts on New Year

2014-12-28T14:16:00.000+13:00

Considering

taking into consideration.
"considering the circumstances, Simon was remarkably phlegmatic"
synonyms: bearing in mind, taking into consideration, taking into account, making allowance(s) for, giving consideration to, keeping in mind, in view of, in the light of
"considering his size he showed an astonishing turn of speed"

I've been thinking about thankfulness today since having heard a sermon from our pastor about thankfulness being the root from which we can rejoice, and overcome.

God is a shepherd to us, leading us like a shepherd leads His sheep. I think this makes an important distinction. Our walk in this life is not one of willing against what has been given to us, but it's dependence. Not only do we rejoice in His leading, we are lead into green pastures, from where we can be comforted, restored and made whole. In this light, to consider is to be able to realistically look back over the past (wants and needs) and prepare for the future. To consider is to really to put yourself in the place of weakness, in trusting in God and trusting others, who will understand your needs and wants. that God satisfies, that is the whole point, and joy is the instrument by which He will care for us.

As we consider what next year has for us, I ask that you would know that I'm better for this past year. I think that is the first place. The second is to know where my hope comes from (not just my hope, but my passion and pursuit) Some see dependence as a weakness, i do too! but that's where we differ. having been through painful circumstances, and desperate times, my only support is in the one who can make me whole, that can shed light into my circumstances, that brings me through and enables me to be fulfilled. That is why my outlook on life has changed, that of willful resistance, to abandonment and contentment.

May you have a blessed new year as you trust in God.

"I set my heart on a pilgrimage.
I will go through the valley of weepings
from there shall they be turned into springs.
They go from strength to strength
Until they appear before God in Zion"

There is a silver lining to any that trust in Him
since there is abundant hope through every recourse of life
I don't say this as someone that has it together,
but someone that has nothing
and having everything been stripped away,
i'm dependent on Him for my daily bread.
What other way could he have lead me?
What other purpose could there be to His testing and trying?
To the soul that loves Him that all their needs are met in Him
truly He is most completed in,
for desperation is a result of choosing Him
This is why He comes like billows and waves
and why His breakers crash over us
What an affirmation, and worthy of all that we are, because we depend on Him, really make it possible for us to receive all that He would give to us.

2014-11-18T21:02:00.001+13:00

I have updated my auto-biography, for the sake of some things that are going on right now, so I will post the link to that page.

http://radioatnathan.blogspot.co.nz/p/nathan-sinclair.html

Soaking Songs

2014-10-15T17:51:00.000+13:00

Hey, here is a special song for you all.

Soaking Songs

I would class this as soaking music, just let it wash over you, and use it in your times with God to come into His presence and provide you with a means to center your thoughts on Him. let it be whatever you need it to be, so that you might encounter this blessed God.

Copyright Nathan Sinclair 2014 All rights reserved. Feel free to use it whatever way you want.

Missions Update: Your Gentleness Has Made Me Great

2014-10-05T15:21:00.000+13:00

I'm just being obedient to what is going on, and it maybe that more is revealed through what I say. The story is rather simple, but it has turned my heart to the Father!

I was talking to a couple at Church, named Paul and Christine, who are leaving to go back to Europe, after being in our church for 5 years. They will be missed. As many of you probably know, i spent some time in Hospital in 2012, and it was at this time that I was formerly introduced to them, that being the start of a season that has decidedly come to a close, ironically, with their going back to the United Kingdom. I can't really say what momentous part they have played in my life, as they know, which has seen me go from being in an unwell state, to having great peace and contentment, because they were are are still, my covering, my safety, my support and my rest during this season.

Isn't it funny how you can realize that someone has literally been the hands of God for me in my life? I was singing to the Father today in church, that He "took me up in His arms" this is the way that I feel as I right this brief announcement, but it is a good announcement, that I hope and believe is going to "be the intent of God in relation to my future" His gentleness has made me great.

I have also said goodbye to my own plans and ideas. For the first time, I think, ever. I have been out of words to say, because it's his plans, it's his will, it's his purpose, that I'm now living for. He said that "I will guide you by my eye" while in the supermarket I was talking with a lady that I knew, but God directed me to, from Cath's alpha school, named Corey.

I literally gazed on her and went over to talk with her. God's providence. As I said, I'm now so at peace, and calm, and filled with hope and joy, that cannot be explained by man's efforts. Does it warm your heart? It certainly warms mine. I'm so grateful that you could be a part of it. That you could see what God is doing in me, and be a part of His purposes, His plans, His will. For this reason I'm going upto Tauranga, it's for His purposes, His plans, His will, in full obedience to His Spirit, and wonderfully (that is my word for today) gazing upon the greatness of Him. Greatness is something I seek for, and it is important to my life, but i'm not doing it by the plans and purposes I have anymore. It is rightly, that out of the most harrowing circumstance through hospital, I have come to love Jesus. He's not a faint-hearted person. He discloses His goodness, His love, His mercy, His providence, His generosity, all in the heart of me.

So I've written a song and put it up for you to listen to, called "Your Gentleness" Sorry about the screeching. God sees my heart.

I am conscious that this might come to people that have not heard about my time in hospital. Part of the reason i have not shared about it, is because it was very close to me, and indeed, my life for 2 years. I am endeavouring to live in God's gentleness from now on, for that is His portion for me.

how much stress we give ourselves thinking that it will be worth it in the end, if you've been through hospital or any traumatic incident, you know that it is the worst advice to give to people. It's precisely what's wrong with them, and what is obvious to all, that if that person does not get it, they don't have much chance to walk out of there alive. For all the support of people it has been the hand of God that has enabled me to walk freely and without regret.

I remember saying to God "I am angry with you for the thing that you've caused me to go through" But it was my insistence to do such that enabled me to see that he was actually in perfect control. What a lovely daddy.

Isn't it funny how these things come together! This is rather a great platform for what I'm sharing with people. Yes, it's my future, and I'm kicking the agenda to have it my way, but I have so much grace and gentleness from God to do this. It is staggering. I received a scripture while I was up in Tauranga last week, where I would be happy to share. it's that my life is a wasteful offering like Mary of Bethany before Jesus. This is what I mean by "kicking the agenda to have it my way" nor do I take this lightly, but it really is what He's called me to. A Life of extravagant love and wasteful devotion at Jesus feet. I also found out that this world i live in is getting smaller by the second. What a great thing to be able to say.

I will be using all my skills and abilities (using computers and programming) to serve the Kingdom. it is my service that demands that I know God's heart and His ways. It is after all the reason that He shares His heart with me, because I am going to be faithful to His heart. He is the reason for my being. It needs much prayer, since I am a weak vessel trying to achieve His plans and purposes. If you want to call me about being prayer support for me, then just flick me an email, i'd be welcome to chat. That really is what I wanted to say, it's not that I'm turning my back on my future or relationship with others. It's actually, in consideration of what matters most to me, and in which I am happy (actually blessed) and decisive about doing this right. Thank you for your audience.

Here is the link to the song

Your Gentleness

Signs of the Times

2014-08-17T14:32:00.001+12:00

This is a transcript of a post I made on Facebook. share it if you think it's on the mark on anything.

It's my observation that we need leaders that would speak with clarity about what is happening in the Middle East, from a biblical perspective, endeavouring to not sidestep the issue of which Israel is signposted. Terrifying things are happening in the earth regarding Israel. to be as bold as a Lion and as tender as a Lamb is indeed something that can only be done with an infusion of grace and a work of the heart of which the Father is for that reason "overjoyed and excited" at the true benefit that we see our lives as a reminder of. It will be true that "The Lord will be remembered by His children" (Isaiah 62) and that we are a memorial to Him. Is it not the issue with the last supper? is it not wisdom that we give ourselves wholly to one? to waste our lives at the feet of one that desires the same. To pour out our lives as a sacrificial offering before the feet of the one that "is the true benefit of our love"

That is the true reason that Jesus on the night he was betrayed gave thanks. He knew that those that rejected Him would receive Him, he knew that the complete expression of God's love would be so ignited in the hearts of those that received Him, that it would be true that "they would love me with the love that the Father loves me" no more noble thing can be seen in all the world.

For that reason we cannot be ashamed when we see the world signposting against Israel. it is not after all the chief issue. the issue is with a nation that are animus to the purpose of God, and indeed of truth, their rejection is reconciliation to the world, their acceptance life from the dead. Such an issue is indeed an issue with covenant. There are terrifying things happening, provoked by spiritual forces in the heavenly realms, and they are listening to it. What will come to pass? surely Israel, being having to make decisions motivated chiefly by alliances to other nations, and saving their own skin, will do exactly what the scriptures have foretold will happen (Isaiah 28) but it will be kerosene to the fire. it will burn even brighter and the one that relies on such will find himself in contention with God.

It's an issue with their self-reliance, and indeed on matters that prove their hearts are far from God. it is designed to offend. In the same chapter it speaks of the "stone I lay in Zion, a precious cornerstone, and Him who believes shall not believe hastily" let us not forget that the contention of God is with a Kingdom that will be "laid in Zion" - the foundation of the temples that have gone before. It will be that his purpose for Zion shall be revealed, and that they will only suffice to please God by waiting patiently for the Messiah. To put confidence in God, the prophet says, is to curb the tide of rampant witchcraft and idolatry, the ceasing of fear and darkness and the shining of a light so much more gloriously revealed. (Isaiah 8) It is to shake your heads at conspiracy and wait upon the Law that is revealed through the Prophets (to mark the words and faithfully believe them) it is to cry disaster to the one whose life is built upon sand and all manner of chaff and straw. it is to gloriously wait for the revealing of the Son of Man who is become for us wisdom and strength from God.

The issue with Zion is at the heart of His ministry, and the focal point of all that He achieves. He will come to Zion. He will rescue His beloved. He will determine to set the records straight and satisfy the bloodshed of His enemies, by trampling them in the dust. His ways are from of old and ancient, His steps are everlasting. His righteousness is mighty to save, His revelation will be an offence to religion and every manner of deception that clouds the spirit and believes in fragile and limited idols. His glory is as the one that created all things and for that reason everything is accountable to Him.

Everything from the contention that is awaiting Israel, the rage of the nations, indeed the rage of Satan, the mark of the babblers, the signs of the diviners, the plans of the wicked, the raged who consult to cast down God from His high position. Of every false ideology and deception and vice. everyone that says that our deep need can be satisfied by band-aid solutions.

I mean, we are in need of a Savior not because we find ourselves in contention, but because inwardly we turn to the things that destroy us. every sin, every one is no different, none of seen the glory of the one that became a man and died for sin (what is abhorrent to Him) for this reason we have fallen from His glory, and for this reason He judges the world.

The issue with Zion is the issue of the cross and of all that He hopes to bring about on the earth. When I say, "signposted" I mean, Israel's lot, after all of their waywardness and indeed "scorched earth" after all their unfaithfulness towards the one that proved Himself to them. Of the one that by virtue of His character and nature could not forget (lest his hands they bled) of the one that cried His last and breathed in vain (His recompense is life to the world) the fact that any are capable of saying "God does not know!" and "God changes His mind" will find them in that day darkness and everything vile. spit out of His mouth and given to the grave. He's incapable of forgetting His promises one for one, as the blood that dripped from His hands, one for one. Every one that drinks deep of this mercy is at best a lover of Israel and at worst despised and ashamed. To bank on God, to bank on His promises is to say goodbye to your narrow view of life, and say goodbye indeed to life. Indeed as Phinehas "zeal has consumed Him" and "it will be to you an everlasting priesthood" To turn to God in this age is to say yes to martyrdom and the prospect, yes, I would die for Him, for the rightness of His judgments and the glory of His appearing.

What can possibly be the outcome of such a life? will anything be impossible for the one, consumed by love, ignited in their hearts? Will, indeed, the price be too much to request that He make His name great and the greatest gift to ever be given - the "true merit of fellowship with Him" that he is worthy, and O that I would live to be near you. To proclaim His place in the earth is to see His Kingdom invade earth, night and day, until His appearing.

Back to the original point. is it wise of me to say that such a thing is needed, yes, that it ought to be the focus of our lives, that if these be the things that assure us of Jesus coming, then to clarify, to understand, to exposit and to be not afraid to tell others of this, both in teaching, preaching, evangelism, indeed with all our lives? And what of the "global injustice" that is awaiting? or to look at it with merely natural methods and to side with the world in that day? Do we look for it as being terrifying and yet gloriously revealing? what way should we respond? I believe we can wait. I believe we can allow God to vindicate our lives before Him, to test, prove, try, refine until the truth of His love for us is poured out full strength into the hearts of those that are waiting for Him. Indeed, it will be a bride yoked to Him that desires and longs for his appearing that will turn His heart and He will come. Ever has it been that way.

Have I overstepped the mark? I can be wrong after all. But you know that I don't say such a thing out of pride, but just because I'm deeply needing affirmation. I can do that without betraying my oonscience.

Sound the Trumpet in Zion

2014-07-19T12:16:00.001+12:00

It is available, here!

For why I have given this book, free of charge, read on. I have put this at the beginning of the book for any that want to be reminded of it.

Why I have given this book free of charge

When I started writing this book, it became clear, that I was doing it for many reasons, but chiefly one that I whole-heartedly and embrace, which is to show others what Jesus is doing in the nations, and chiefly, the nation of Israel, His people. I was able, by grace, to "live there" for 2 weeks during a graduation for the Around the World in 80 Days School, run out of YWAM Oxford. Man I love those people!

It was also clear that I would be offering it to people that were themselves missionaries, and also, to anyone else that embraces the call to supporting those that are sowing their lives in the nations of the world. You don't need a call for this, but I've noticed that He places importance on Sowing seed (that is, investing) in others lives, for the sake of the gospel going forth. I think if we undermine this, we also cut ourselves off from what God is doing.

It became clear that God himself was my chief investor. He is the one, that knowing my financial responsibilities in the past, has paved the way for me to sow my own life into the field of His word and watch it grow and bloom. He has watched me take to the nations in an effort to be that word that would produce much growth, He has endeavoured to show me, through my own life and calling, that He's chosen me. This is all to say, that I could not do this outside of Him. What if He were to use my life to impact people in other places? would He use the same model? The answer to that question, I have to share with you the testimony that I have regarding Financial Support and how I've been able to do what He's called me to - as shown in the book, being one that announces and prepares others to follow Jesus in the great tribulation - the "Day of the LORD" and the "day of vengeance of our God"

It all started, I guess in a round about way when I became a child of Him. He gave me a dream that I would be ministering to others in the power of the Spirit and that it would be a source of encouragement to others that God could do what He had promised. It also lead me to understand the relationship with Israel. At the time, it was simply enough to assure me that Abraham was the Father of Israel - the same people that are in the earth today.

Then I came to YWAM. I was able, through financial support to raise enough money for the lecture phase. This is a grace in itself. It came through being graciously confronted by the way I was living my life. The bible says that "turning to other gods is harlotry, adultery from God" I did not see the connection between this and my life, but for some reason was surrounded by people that believed the same thing - not that they had sex with people but that they were open to it. I mean doesn't it say that "the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil"? do you need to make money to be capable of all kinds of evil?

Then God started to intervene, He gave me love in my heart and a desire to know Him. I started to want to give my heart to Him. I started to understand what purity means, and what purity of heart looks like, I began to be overcome by love for Him because of His love for me! This was chiefly in the instance of obedience and watching God do stuff in my finances. I remember thinking about what was happening to me and why. I believe this is the answer. What else would be? I later understood the connection between finances and giving my heart to Him. It is an issue with giving Him everything. Some would say that wisdom doesn't sound right. But I've become so infected by God that I couldn't think any other way. It's just like he said during my DTS, that if I allowed Him to intervene into my circumstances, He would come through. He would heal my past, give me hope for the future, and remind me of the present. He would give me the assurance that He could not keep silent, that He could not look away, that He would intervene (Luke 18:1-6)

It is for that reason that I gave Him everything. I even gave my computer to my brother, because I knew He needed it. I did this because of love for Him, and because I had everything that I need. I just wanted to get to know Him better.

Is this starting to make sense?

I want to give it away free of charge, because the God that I know gives Himself away free of charge! I want to give it away free of charge in the full assurance that such a thing embodies all that I am in being able to whole-heartedly give myself to Him. It is the evidence of which that promises me that He will continue to intervene in my affairs. It is the reality that if a person were to be able to say to me "I made you rich" then it would mean nothing to me. It is that full assurance that I, being the bride of His heart, have made Him my refuge and provision and supply. It is what results in glory being given to God, for anyone that hears the story.

All the more, it is all to God's glory that I live, it is surely capable of giving glory to Him, because I know Him, because I understand Him, and I delight in Him. it is only a reflection of the delight that He has for me in His heart, for choosing to give my heart in whole and abandoned to Him. That way, I can do this wherever I am, but it strikes me that I could not be kept here, because of the way in which He's lead me. It's not an issue with getting permission, it is about listening to Him, and letting His word move my heart.

There are so many other experiences that I've had, experiences where God provided, but I will leave that in the annals of history. There are so many more things I could say, but I believe that I've said what I needed to. It strikes me, that some would say "but you don't have much money anyway - why are you giving away free of charge" - and why are you giving the proceeds to others? are you mad? it is for those people that I write this defence. If you want, head to the third appendices, which is a story about how this all connects with my future. I'm endeavouring to communicate what God has done so that He can get all the glory.

Movie Review: Transformers: Age of Extinction

2014-07-05T14:03:00.000+12:00

Transformers: Age of Extinction
by Michael Bay

Starring: Michael Walberg, Nicola Peltz, Jack Reynor, Kelsey Grammar, Stanley Tucci

Upon thinking about the movie I happened upon the phrase "Just pretend this dead lion is a human baby and you won't be so upset" read that article here

More about that later.

I want to thank John Piper for His literary style and will endeavour to write this review from the stand point of purity, and being fascinated by Jesus.
I will give a run down of the film for any wanting to see followed by a plot summary and then an in-depth review.

Initial thoughts (no spoilers)

Well, welcome, to the fourth installment of Transformers, Age of Extinction. I have not seen the series since the second Transformers, where the premise of the film is all life on earth to be utterly destroyed. seems to be a continuing theme in the series. Not having seen the third movie, I am at a loss over some aspects of the storyline of this one, but because it is a new cast, and the characters all have decent back stories - for an action film - I can wipe away the former sentiments.

For an action film, it delivers wonderfully. There is no shortage of action - though there is a level of vengeance in this film not seen in the previous films. They probably had in mind to pave the way for another sequel. As far as crowds, I was only one of 4 people in the cinema this time. It was probably just an indication of the time that I went (11 in the morning on Friday) Because of the continuity in the film it is easily watched, you don't see the time passing by. I swear I did not know I was in the cinema for that long, (it is roughly 2:45) being in suspense at various turns (the involvement of Humans, for instance) and the good guys do a good job of being good in general.

the themes of betrayal, vengeance and general inaccountability towards loss of life where a nice touch on the film. It made you identify with the characters. Upon closer inspection, I found the movie to be a little trivial and the inclusion of sorrow and sadness (especially in the first few scenes of the movie) were not explained or enumerated. Each basically responded by vengeance towards seeing comrades fall and their treatment at evil hands.

Does that mean I did not identify with it? Well I did, especially what should take place when loved ones die and the treatment of friends at the expense of forces and powers too strong. I swear that when Optimus was starting down the leader, He made me unsure of what should be done. Is this guy really just a pawn?

It would seem so later on. There is a true departure from the original series (back in the 80s) as where do all these monolithic beings and races come from? but they have done well to engage an audience with the history of transformers. It in a way made me glad to see the machines that I grew up with. For instance, where did the whole idea of human extinction come from? The original was pretty much just a battle between autobots and decepticons, the decepticons wishing to subjugate the human race to their own ends. but if they didn't have something atleast to latch onto, maybe they would not have an audience for these movies (I see that they are still making transformers! Good on them!)

the new film comes with a new cast and the main character is now Optimus (where in the previous ones to an extent this was true of bumblebee) But of course, if anyone has seen the original series (back in the 80s) you could not include a Transformers without Optimus Prime, he's the one giving orders and everyone follows Him. Betrayal plays heavily into this film, and to a lesser extent, human fragility. I see that in the deaths portrayed that they wanted to invoke a certain response. Followed up by vengeance.

If you want my opinion, I think you can goto see this movie without having seen the previous ones (as I did) but part of the pull is the series that is being developed. Of the things I've spoken I will speak more in the actual Review. Now I will go onto the plot summary. If you don't want to see spoilers read no further.

Plot Summary

The movie begins with an armada of alien battle ships above the earth and then pans to the earth where we see the ships descending and unleashing a hot magma substance that turns the inhabitants into metal (this all happened 65 million years ago)

Then we see Tessa (Nicola Peltz) drive to her house with her friends excited that school is about to finish and find out that it is the home of Yeager Electronics. More about this later. There is a whole lot of abandoned metal at the roadside to their house. She wheels a trolley back to the house and is greeted by a robot dog that barks when intruders come (the dog thinks she is an intruder)

Then we see a raid on a transformer at night time at a big ship. Supposedly they are going after the decepticons, who are still on earth. But they are actually going after the autobots as well. Upon finding the transformer, ratchet, they begin firing on Him and then a robot named Lockdown demands to know where Optimus Prime is hiding. He does not tell Him, and because of this, rips out his heart (a thing called a spark)

Then we find her Dad, and His friend, Lucas, driving into a movie theatre where they are charged to get it running again. Cade (Michael Walberg) notices a truck at the back of the theatre that He thinks He will take back to His place for parts. He asks Lucas if He would pay for the truck, $150.

When the two get home, His daughter, Tessa, has a go at him for buying junk that they do not need. We find out that He runs a company that makes and provides metal for inventions. But they don't have a steady income. She says she will be leaving once High school is finished, but She is concerned that He will not be able to look after Himself.

We find out she wants to go to the graduation and how are they going to buy a dress for her? Her mother died and so it's just Him and Tessa. They talk about who is going to take her to the graduation formal. More about this later. We find out that he has struggles with bringing her up, because She's the one thing that he loves in life. She consciously has a go at Him for not letting her do the same thing he did (having her while still in High school, with her mum) He says having her was the best decision he ever made.

He spends days in the garage where he stores the truck. Trying to get the inventions that He gets to work he stumbles upon a message - live ammunition is found in the fuselage of the truck and when He straps it upto a power source a message comes - "Calling all autobots"

Because of this, Lucas, Tessa say that they should tell the authorities (who are looking for transformers) they believe that there is some reward for it. In the preceding time, we find that Optimus found out that humans are attacking and destroying autobots. He is apprehensive of humans that were upto this point their allies.

When Lucas calls the authorities not a moment later a group of vans come to their property under the authority of Harold Attinger (Kelsey Grammar) a CIA agent working with Lockdown. James Savoy (Titus Welliver) lets them know that they are here because they got a call. (this is somewhat like the first Transformers but more violent in their treatment of the main characters) James says that He will kill His daughter, saying "You would sell out your own flesh and blood for an alien"? and says that He will kill her if he does not tell them where Optimus Prime is hiding. this is one of the most emotional scenes in the whole movie.

Optimus bursts out of the garage leaving destruction in His wake, succesfully getting away from the humans at this point Shane, Tessa's boyfriend bursts onto the scene after the destruction of their house (lockdown fires missiles at the house) a fierce chase ensues, between Optimus and Lockdown, and the CIA authorities and the Humans. they seem to get away, but after Shane's car is wrecked they run outside, only for Lucas to be metallicized by a weapon Lockdown is carrying. They escape in Optimus and head to a gas stop where they are safe. Furious that His daughter hid her boyfriend from Him, He acts the proper Dad and reminds them of her being His daughter.

Before Optimus returns Cade manages to hack into a mini-drone he had stole at his property, finding out footage of Humans attacking autobots, and what they have done to Him - His credit card cannot be used as they have (the government) shut down his credit.

When they (Harold and James) find out the technology is being used somewhere, they goto where it was used however they are not there (he uses remote control) while finding out a company called KSI are behind the technology being developed, they decide to goto the Headquarters.

Optimus comes back and takes them to see the rest of the Autobots. There is a Japanese autobot with swords, a typical weapons expert with gatling gun and various other parts, Bumblebee, and another with a pair of pistols.

Using the technology they have they find a scientist and copy his credentials to getting into KSI. Cade gives them all tags with which they can get into KSI.

Then Bumblebee, Shane and Cade enter the KSI labs. they find the scientists have been working on their own transformers. When Shane gets into the labs, your typical science ensues. Cade takes a video of Ratchet (the former autobot) being torn apart for scrap metal (they need it to make their own transformers)

At this Optimus rages and the autobots come to KSI to destroy the labs. A conversation ensues between Joshua (Stanley Tucci) - the head of KSI and Optimus. As far as this goes, the head of the autobots says that this was His friend, and Joshua, says "we did it all in the name of Science"

the lab is destroyed but not before they unleash their own transformers against the autobots. In pursuit Galvatron and Stinger, follow them. But they work on their own, not taking orders. This leads Joshua to get angry because He can't control His creations.

Then Lockdown shows up, fires a volley of missiles. Tessa and Cade are separated, Optimus and the car in which Tessa are in trapped by a net. Lockdown it seems is on the hunt for Optimus because His creators "want Him back". Above Chicago, the autobots, and the Humans climb aboard Lockdowns ship, where they split up to search for Tessa and Optimus. Cade finds a piece of weaponry on the ship and uses it to destroy their pursuers. When Lockdown finds out that they're trying to get the prisoners off the ship he sends some dogs after them. Finding tess they manage to find their way to an anchor to get off the ship. Meanwhile, the autobots find Optimus on a jeticend ship and proceed to save Optimus from Lockdown.

Harold and James meet with Lockdown aboard his ship for a "seed" meanwhile a little autobot lets them know that they have been influenced by Megatron (now Galvatron) who means to get the seed himself and enslave the human race. Optimus knows that they must stop the plan of Galvatron at all costs.

Lockdown, finding out that Optimus is not on His ship, returns to earth.

when they arrive in China a huge battle between, Lockdowns forces, Galvatrons forces, (who invades KSI in China) and makes all the transformers they are developing His, and the autobots ensues.

the ship the autobots are in crash lands in a valley. Knowing that they can't win this alone, they free some robots that have never been under anyone's orders, and Optimus battles them to get them to be on their side.

When they realise the seed needs to be taken to somewhere safe, the humans, led by Shane, Tessa and Cade, get in a car and try to travel over a bridge to get it safe. But when Lockdown shoes up, Cade says that He has to help Optimus defeat Lockdown he tells Shane and Tessa to get away, but not before She decides that She has to help Him (she loves Him) Optimus is not really able to defeat lockdown, but with Shane, Tessa, and Cade, they succeed in defeating Him.

The movie ends with Optimus fleeing earth in pursuit "of His creators"

Movie Review

I'm going to take a level of creative license here, because as I was thinking about the film and wanting to understand what I wanted to say, I came on an article about the travesty of our generation in our attitude towards human life, specifically in the aborting of children in the womb. This can be found here. This lead me to take up a certain stance on this film, which I believe is the one that I should take in respect for my own conscience, and the prevailing theme of our generation to murder and de-humanize. In this I give thanks to John Piper, for His recent article on pornography on tv programs. You can find it here

There is a prevailing attitude in this film indicative of violent vengeance. this is at the prospect that "for all that is good and right, we must stop the oppression of species and restore order to the universe" i think only human beings could come up with such a statement and be so desensitized to the reality of sin and consequence of our decisions towards others. It's what enables you to watch a film without thinking anything about what it is doing to you. I praise God that I'm now in a place where my conscience does not rest on anothers opinions or attitudes.

The irony is that most of this film is concerned with very much heart issues, the suffering of betrayal, the murder of innocents, and the general inaccountability towards loss of life, which stir my heart, but I am reminded that transformers are not people, and when was the last time I cried for the injustice of others being scattered like sheep and who do not know God's eternal life. Does it really do justice to the loss of a friend to go with vengeance against those that caused it to happen?

A statement that pretty much sums up the film is found in the conversation between Optimus and Joshua when they meet for the first time in KSI in Chicago. He says basically "I'm a scientist and about advances in technology" nothing much is said and the autobots leave. It would have been a nice touch had they rescued what remained of Ratchet. The thing that excited me the most (and maybe evident of my own state) was when the Autobots gathered together for the first time. Some funny things were spoken and I laughed along with it. That was a nice touch. But where does my desire to "destroy in the name of good" come from? it would be worth inspecting and finding out where this comes from.

All I know is that the bible expressly has alot to say about "living by the sword" and in Gen 9 it says if anyone spills the blood of man, his blood shall be spilled. This was seen in the overthrow of Harold Attinger - who really had no remorse that "it had to be done for the greater good" not seeing in His actions anything but the kind of zeal that comes from Humanity for the independence of Humanity. Of this theme, Lockdown, when talking with Harold Attinger says "of all my contact with all the species of the universe all share this in common, that they think the universe revolves around them" - a statement that could be applied to religion in general (that the world does not revolve around me)

There were indeed very biblical themes through the film. This I gather is because there are those that are not after power, and who have morals. This seems devoid of the history of humanity. Did you see that? making a general statement for specific issues. He certainly does not indicate that humanity is in need of a Savior. That is one of the biggest problems with the movie, is that it has only a surface level treatment of anything of substance.

Before you think I'm just going on a tirade regarding this film, I want to remind you, that we need to be very conscious of what we watch, and anything that seems good on the surface we need to inspect to the heart of, so that we can have freedom in relating to God and enjoying life. It certainly is not a film that sets out to make the viewer question and give thought to deeper issues. In a way, I compare it to Armageddon (starring Bruce Willis and a variety of actors) But it's true that when we think about our origins, we want to know something that has substance. This makes the film begin and end on one premise - that our creators are out to subjugate the universe, and like Megatron, are willing to destroy planets to do so. The entrance of Lockdown into the film (though I do not know if He comes from the previous movie or not) tends to make me think that we have forces governing us, that we do not know about. The question is, are they for good or for malice intent? are they the embodiment of all that is called pure, holy and righteous, or are they wanting us to be held under their sway? From a biblical standpoint, we have reason to be afraid, because God is good and that goodness motivates Him to judge the world. What the enemy is, does in the secret, in the malicious and the innocent, so that we have vengeance on the wrong ones. This is seen in this theme.

It's also true that humanity is good, that is true, but humanity also introduced sin into the world. When I look at the film, it makes me sad for the sorrow and disaster that comes. I wasn't weeping when cities were destroyed or at men fleeing, but maybe I should have been? all too often the innocent suffers, the ones that feel the pinch are the ones that have done nothing to deserve it. That is what motivates God's heart and shows to us the heart that we are to have for other human beings. That love motivates us to tell others of Jesus.

It has a very sci-fi feel to it, in that humanity are willing to work with forces outside of their control for their own betterment and survival, but that falls on it's head in the course of the movie, they realise that they are the originators of their destruction, by doing the will of Megatron. The thing I leave you with is this, do you adhere to this kind of worldview? do you believe in aliens? do you believe in humanity being able to further their own development by rising in technology? is it as innocent as it sounds? we have been guilty of using technology to our destruction, and that for the greed and promotion of ourselves - under guise that "it will give better living to those that use it" - and as a result, we turn our backs on God and promote lives that are in direct contradiction to himself.

The folly, or the danger of this worldview will be seen in days to come, when out of the greatest technology developed by man, the most evil and corrupt empire shall come, that will enslave the human race, and bring them to worship a Man. this is indeed innocent as it looks at the surface, but it's something utterly devoid of God, from the pit of hell. and people will say "Don't use technology, technology is bad!" no, but the consequence will be in the heart of it. we will not be able to live outside of it - it will eclipse us and make us so certain of ourselves, so that we would want for nothing - altogether denying the continuum of human suffering since the time of Cain and Abel.

Haha, you heard me say it "technology will be our downfall" it will only be those things that we sanctify of God to use, that will be used effectively. Look at the state of things as they are, and choose to reject what I say!

All of this is to say, that we have troubling days ahead. it will be true, that those who rejoice should mourn, and those who have substance, consider that they do not, and that in the end, it will prove wisdom, because "I come to shake everything that can be shaken" and God, the consuming fire, will dwell with us. O for that day!

Transformers 4: Age of Extinction Review by Nathan Sinclair is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

Introduction and Why I am Here

2014-07-02T10:08:00.000+12:00

Sound the Trumpet in Zion

A story of Israel and the heart of the Gospel

By Nathan Sinclair

Introduction

Do you know the time in which we live? We are living in the fulfilment of promises towards Israel that have gone unanswered for over 2000 years. Let me quote from the book of Joel:

Blow the Trumpet in Zion
and Sound an Alarm in My holy Mountain
Let all the inhabitants of the land tremble;
For the day of the Lord is coming
For it is at hand
A day of darkness and gloominess
A day of clouds and thick darkness
Like the morning clouds spread over the mountains
A people come, great and strong,
The like of whom has never been;
Nor will there ever be any such after them
Even for many successive generations

The reason that I am writing this book is two-fold.

1. to share the experience that I have with you, of being in the Land of Israel

2. to think more about his people who are being gathered from the ends of the earth.

God gave me a vision of a split trumpet, that was about to be made whole. As the trumpet was made whole, a trumpet blast was sounded. The trumpet is the coming together of God’s purposes concerning Israel in the earth today

How will this be done? I want to raise up 300 men and women who will be faithful to take this message of Israel to the nations. The challenge that I leave with you is this: Jesus is the only one who can bring peace to the middle east. How will you respond to His call to make your life at peace with His agenda? How will you partner with Him? He asks us to partner with Him in the fulfilment of these things. (Matthew 6:6)

I am writing this book to share with you what is placed on my heart and to encourage you to respond in a way that is faithful to what is shared.

Where did it all begin, my love for Israel?

While on the bus travelling to Oxford YWAM, I heard a voice say to me “Where will you be going?”

After a few guesses, I realized God was saying to me, “You will meet someone, who will ask you, ‘where are you going to’” to which you will reply, Oxford, and they will say “So am I” The reason this was a big deal was because I had not shared in this with God until I came on the bus.

Well I was on the road, waiting for someone to pick me up. I heard another phrase “I see you there” – This is something that I knew because in Song of Songs it says:

“Let me see Your face,

Let me hear your voice”

This made me realize God was saying to me “I want you to be with me where I am”

This is how I began my journey to go to Israel.

There is also another motive for writing this book. While at a friend’s place in Tauranga, I shared the story of how I had come up on a truck in a day, and the people I shared this with said “You should write a book about it” – the events that have been led of God to be put it into a book form, so that others can read them and know the good things God does, and this is what I am doing here.

I am sure that the Prophets of old were struck by the terribleness and very greatness of what they were proclaiming. I take this with a grain of salt in a way, because my chief and only concern comes from being the one who directs others to share what has been going on for them in their hearts. I am considered a prophet. That very thing is not in question, because He spoke once to me that I needed a foundation from which to base my ministry off. I need not go back on words, and reject what God was doing in me. I have also learned to be wise with my words, and it has caused me to be the admiration of certain people, that recognize what God is doing in me.

For those that are lost, I make it simple for you, you will find that my words are prophetic because I’m a prophet. God has confirmed on more than one occasion that I’m to speak and prepare others for Jesus. This is the role of the prophet in our day. I will make this clear through the rest of the book.

This is why I know in a way what I speak about and write about has a prophetic detail to it, and that my being chosen for this has nothing to do with qualifications. I remember the first time I understood that what God had called me for was a unique and special calling. My calling is none other than preparing the way for Jesus.

This is why I open myself humbly to you, to let me know if what has been spoken is right, or am I off mark when I share what is on my heart.

For more, let us resume our experience of Israel now.

Why I am Here

Philippians 3:7-11

While being shown around the land of Israel, it was having it’s effect on me. Not only were the sights good (I actually did not come here to be a sight-seeing tourist, but to be transformed in my heart)

An idea floated around my mind that maybe (just maybe) I would apply to staff an AW80 school with my good friend Julie-anna.

This is why on a particular night I sat down to an audience of Jeremy, Julie-anna and Joseph. This would set the trajectory for changes that I had little understanding of - it was later revealed by my good friend Joseph, that 9 months was the length it took to be pregnant.

In fact, I had shared the story that I was coming to Israel because God was betrothing me (just like it says in the word) I will talk about this more, later.

So it wasn’t too out of the idea that it could be 9 months until I had a child (going with the analogy)

All these feelings of love, and weddings, made me excited. I want to share a little of the conversation that I had with these esteemed colleagues of mine. I wanted to share in the sufferings of Christ. To which they replied, I do not think that is such a good idea.

To which I thought to myself, “it’s because I want to know Christ – to be filled with life” – I want to know Him intimately. Just like it says in the verses:

Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish that I may gain Christ, and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith; that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, if by any means I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.

In saying this, the realities that are talked about in Paul’s heart and mind were having an effect on me. It is the same idea as being satisfied in Him alone, because Paul begins by saying “to live is Christ, and to die is gain” (Php 1:21)

If only those that I was conversing with had understood what I was asking. But I also think that what was being asked I didn’t quite know either. For I don’t need to say much to realise that I have not the tenacity of my faith to regard Christ as having been more to me than life. But I did know at least that the request that I was asking was that I wanted to be filled with life – I want to be faithful to the same realities that make me want to give my heart and mind wholly to Him. To which I reply, Christ has performed that which I am ultimately wanting, by showing me a love that comes from the Father.

Let me say that this began to take hold of me like nothing else could. What I mean is, that my own journey has been leading up to the communication of that good news which eclipses Paul and which is what I want to eclipse me too. This eclipsing of all that I have is not only what my friends are concerned with, but also the domain of God who is in charge of this very thing – the knowledge of his sufferings. This is what is happening to me.

You see it is about loving God, just like the first and greatest commandment, which is to Love Him with all our heart and mind and soul and strength.

This is what I was experiencing in some measure as I walked around Israel. This will open up and show what things God is after in just a while, being content and happy that He could be all that I wanted to be. But I was not able to comprehend what was taking place for me.

For a moment, I will go back to an event in my past.

I am talking about the night that I came to realize the heart of God for evangelism. I was typing up an email about financial support, when all of a sudden, I had to go and talk to someone about finding God in this eventuality. That was because I was overcome by my own desire to give God everything, He could possibly be showing me that I needed to put Him first in everything, including my financial support. God wants to be first in everything in our lives. This is why I want to place Him first, and in placing Him first, my desire is solely on sharing with my friends and family what God has done. This has eventualities that are not limited to just evangelism but everything in life.

Updates

2014-07-01T10:52:00.001+12:00

I haven't given too much thought to it, but I'm on the wave of what I believe to be a needed service to the Body of Christ. Actually, it comes off from unique circumstances. I heard from the Father recently that if it was the thing that you wanted, and indeed, gives you so much joy, what are you doing being apprehensive and torn? indeed, doubting that it needs to be said. That seems like an adequate title to what I've observed and now are walking the steps of. I think it will come. The people just need to show up and I need to put more confidence in my own heart. Please pray for me that I would be able to share my heart authentically and that it would come through in what I'm endeavouring to accomplish. Hopefully this will result in all the tribes of the earth giving love and worship to the King of Kings and we would see global revival on the earth, and that each culture would be transformed by the values and love of the Kingdom of Heaven (it is a Kingdom of Love afterall) chiefly in "The Holy One of Israel as our Redeemer, and the endorsement of love that He gave to the Israelites in (Exodus 3:14-17) over all the earth" (Isaiah 54:5)
Look and find updates to my bio page, and a new page called "Books" more to come soon.

Ramadan

2014-06-29T17:58:00.001+12:00

Here in I seek to bring understanding and clarity to Ramadan as a Christian. People from many different countries will be conducting prayer in response to what is going on in the Muslim World today. We need to be free of our own ideas of what is important during this time, and seek God's heart as regards these precious people (they are after all descended from Abraham, our Father) I sought to provide an opportunity for my own family to think about Ramadan, not just because I am stirred to pray, but also to make it possible for those closest to me to follow in Jesus footsteps. I believe it would be something of a stirring on His heart, given that much of the world is opposed to Him as Son of God (and none more than devout followers of Muhammed)

We in the west live in a world that indulges in hero worship, commits sexual immorality because it's in their power to do so, and I'm convinced, are also idolaters at heart. What else can we do? I mean, it's not like we have the dedication that Muslims have, or the Jesus followers in China, or the persecution that most Christians experience in Northern Africa and the Middle East. We are left with our complacent attitudes and broken cisterns. I was much the same way for much of my life, being passionate about God, but never really getting to know Him. It wasn't until the blinders were taken off my eyes and I heard about His love for me, that giving my life to Him seemed to be the best thing to do.

So, what's there to say. I would say that praying during Ramadan, just like Muslims, will take endurance. It will be so because we've never done it before. Once those things become muscle memory we will not have to think twice about it. But sometimes storms come our way and there's a comfortable thing to do which is to leave the battle for others. It's to forsake discipline and determination in pursuit of making things easier on us. This happened for me when I came to Hospital. though I started well enough, for the longest time I could not even pick up a bible, or pray. Upon reflecting about this, I later found out that I had treasured things against God, that were related to how this could happen to me, and what was my response? simply my response was to say Yes to Him. it was from this place that I begin to see scripture in a new light, seeing Jesus as the way and the Father as the source. In a sentence, I began to pray again, because it was enjoyable. Matt 26 says that Jesus spoke to His disciples saying "You could not keep watch and pray with me for an hour? The Spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak"

That's good advice for us who can't even pray with Him one hour.

What am I meaning because of all of this? I'm learning more and more that redundant and boring prayer is not going to stir God's heart either. I'm sure He answers those prayers too, but if the disciples had anything to learn from Jesus, it was that they were partnering in with Him. that always has to be my motivation in prayer. What have I learnt from my experience of prayer? I've learnt not to entertain grudges between people. I've learnt to believe and hope in the fulfilment of those promises that He's given. I've learnt to corporately pray and seek God and allowing Him to do what must be done. I've learnt that you can be in the place of prayer for 2 years, and see nothing happen, (and for those sceptics; it is a step up now than it was; i'm only beginning to experience what He was sharing with me back then) and then when things are going poorly, those very things become your experience and you are thrust back into the original spirit of that prayer that you prayed back then. Like having encounters where "God knew what I was thinking!" and it all being worth it, from first to last. There's no regrets when you are walking with Yahweh through your life. It can appear that He's taken His hand off your life for a season (heaven forbid it would be longer!) but in that time, He was right to have allowed you to come to grief, to come into greater experience and understanding of His ways.

The point in all of this is to stir you to pray. Pray because you agree with God's heart of what he's doing with muslims. Pray for the breaking of strongholds and see the identity and culture of the Kingdom of Heaven being divested to the tribes of the earth (most unreached people groups are muslim. they make up most of the unreached world these days) i'm glad I made that last point. It's a lie and a delusion to believe that God will not raise up hearts that are burning on fire for Ishmael's Sons (and indeed Esau) he will cause them to goto the nations where they are. Why? because there's no gospel witness. why? because if you will not go then you will be accountable to God who said "the gospel of the kingdom will be preached to all nations [ethnic groups] and then the end shall come" (Matt 24:14) Why? because God wants them to be a culture that give their hearts to Him because He fashioned them and gave them life.

Consider Turkey. of a population of 80 million, there are just over 10000 believers. that's not even 0.01% of the population. Or Saudi Arabia, or Yemen, UAE, Iran, Iraq or Nigeria. all these countries are on the heart of God at this time. Why stop there? He desires them just as He desires you.

I could go on, but I'm bursting to get this out! My friends, I would not see prayer as a service, or even as a duty, but as enjoyment. I get to find out God's heart. It will always be that those motivated by service or indeed greed will not pray as the one that loves will. Why is that? it is because at the moment that they come to God, it will be reliant on Him doing something - or where is my faith? but when talking about the ones who loves, we find no law at work. Such a man is free to do whatever He wants, and because He counts prayer as being much more precious, the world will not turn to tomorrow until this one prays. It will be in that moment that God sees the heart of Him who prays and says "that one is righteous" that one is my joy to become, and if I do not pray, I will know that God will remind me. that is the best sort of prayer, which truly comes out of love. What shall I do? shall I do as I want and pray for Ishmael? that is indeed perplexing because it comes to the heart of me.

Making prayer enjoyable

2014-06-29T15:00:00.002+12:00

Many of you will already be able to know from this title that this is your experience and for that I am thankful. But I was reading a prayer call from the International House of Prayer ( www.ihop.org ) about a summons for us to respond to God with all our heart and see His purposes released on the earth today, in light of the evils of society that threaten to engulf the world. (by evil I simply mean things that are not good) I will give the link here. Anna's Link

Is our experience that we simply pray because we have seen God move in the past? is it something that we grit our teeth about and find we only do it when need arises? What I mean to say is, do you only do prayer because it is required of you? This kind of prayer does not avail to touch the heart of God. The only reason that prayer works before God is because you want to touch Him, and He wants to hear from you. That is what I learned. The reason prayer is so enjoyable for me is because I get to spend time with my Daddy. It is the closest and most intimate expression of my life and something that I could not do without. Even in times of isolation and famine, the reason I pray is always because it moves my heart to move God's heart. Or more accurately, it is Him moving my heart to move His heart. This is because He desires to be known. He is the easiest one to ever know. He has no hickups about being offended, or indeed, of times of weakness, or venting out of frustration and anger. He has never had negative self-image and will never be prone to the effects of old age. He is and always will be the only thing that can satisfy, (I keep on telling this to myself) because he speaks to my heart. He wishes to know me more than I want to know Him. He hopes that I will choose to be with Him because He is that good. He yearns and thinks about me when we do not talk. When I'm struggling His zeal (lovingkindness) and compassion are aroused. When I am struggling, he inwardly burns. When I am tempted and coerced to sin, He violently opposes and makes me righteous.

More than that, when I am in love with Him, He likes me. When I love Him with everything, He loves me in return. When I grasp to take hold of His garment, even at that moment I am healed. He not only knows that such a life is the life that He calls us to live, it is the only life that will really satisfy in the end. I mean, who else you know has raised to life from dead? Who else lives inside of You by His Spirit? who else gave His own life so that we would know His love? Even more than that, He desires, yes, wishes, that we would enter into the fullness of His love for us. But for that, we must choose Him, we hardly do anything in light of what He's done. It's only, as one as said before, the thing that God can and will do to the heart that gives itself to Him. Isn't that remarkable? he promises to you that you shall be changed. If you do not, then throw in the towel. He will satisfy, he will come through, and He will see you changed. You will not stay the same way forever, you will be moved, love, and cherish this His most precious union that He has given so that you could be with Him forever.

The things that I want more than anything are to well up in love for Him. I want to articulate the emotions that He feels towards me. I want to make my inheritance His love, and make His inheritance my love. "I am Yours, and You are mine" I mean who else can be? Who else can really in this live, promise to give that kind of companionship and pure holy union with another? This is why He marries us, is because we would come into the fullness of that union that exists between us. He chose you to be able to articulate the fullness of His glory that is available to you in His love.

I often go back to the things that gave me comfort. The things that produce in me some joy of indulging in it. Must I say "indulgence and comfort are not such bad things"? that's what I've been told. I've been told that the way in which to beat sin is by no longer placing any value in it - to no longer do so would rob you of joy. Do you think that joy is so bad anyway? But if you apply that to God, of course you aren't going to come to God to pray. it will seem to be the worst thing that you could possibly do. And as a result you will be robbing yourself of the joy that exists solely in God. You will end up being frustrated, and no longer confident about the thing that you did. You will return to your own vomit. If that is the way that you see God, then you will never come to Him. But in God are fullness of pleasures, in God is richest of joy, in God are pleasures everlasting. In God are purity without blemish, and beauty untarnished. With Him are all the desires that you have in this life fully met and even more. If we could exhaust God we would have a reason to turn from Him, but that is so far from a picture of God that such a person should be pitied.

The real reason that we don't spend hours in prayer to God is because that would be to vulnerably give yourself to Him, and such a thing terrifies us. It terrifies us because we know that walking away from God, His glory, will always change us - for with Him we cannot fault. He is worth it. He is always valuable and prized above every treasure. He is the source of our yearning and the fullness of life streaming forth from everlasting goodness. He is the fountain of pleasure and the light that enables us to see. (Psalm 36:7-9) I want to talk more about this exchange. Do you think that such a thing can be found anywhere else? and why do you buy for what is not bread, and give your money to what does not satisfy? The reason that such an exchange is profitable to you, is in light of the preciousness of it. For you to waste your life on everything other thing is only an indication on what you value most. If you are willing to live for family and for your children, then that will be your reward. But if you live for God then that will be your reward, and indeed will profit not just in this life but also into eternity.

It's to say to God "You abundantly satisfy, and I am going to prove it by making you great in the earth" I am going to give my every waking moment, and every one of my worlds, to you. In light of such things as rugby, or grid iron, actors, movie stars and popularity contests we pay that price because we would like to believe that we could be in their position. In God's place are fullness of understanding (Psalm 73:17) and the promise of life that never ends. in light of this, to make God glorious is not a cost that we will not give. It will be the one thing that results in us actually authentically living. He is the God who dwells in the tent of Shem. He is the God that dwells in buildings. He is the God that dwells in our hearts. Each of these are made authentic because of the words that He spoke. He said to Aaron "I give you an everlasting priesthood" He said to David "will you build me a house of cedar. Behold I will build you a house" He says to countless through the generations the utter urgency and satisfaction of having built Him a house of which He would be worshipped and adored forever and ever. If there were prayers that prayed back in the day for the things that are happening in the earth today, I believe they would get behind the House of Prayer - giving God 24/7 worship and prayer out of enjoyment and fulfilling love. The reason I say that is because the most authentic and trust-worthy believers have all been of the house-hold that "longed for His appearing" and "believed that He would come"

For those who are lost, I had to go there. For those who understand, may God also richly make you able to count the cost joyfully of worshipful love and adoration to our God and Father and to the Lamb. For those who want to know more, that has always been my heart of prayer.

Stirring

2014-06-21T17:41:00.000+12:00

I'm being stirred today, and I want you to know what that means. Just a thought that I had today regarding what I want to be remembered for when I die. Isn't it funny what pops into your mind some days.

Firstly, that the coming war is not going to be fought over territorial lines, or economies, or slavery, but over families. Also, that if we need anything in this age it's grace. Amazing grace, JOY that graciously gives up the goods that we possess for more real ones. Justice that flows like a river, that feels good about partnering deeply with what is on God's heart. defined by a new kind of culture and pressing need. that can laugh at the shams and the counterfeits. That can say with the rest "we are needing reality and that means believing in miracles"

I'm reminded of the day, May 2nd, 2011, when I gave myself to Jesus to beautify and give me the set of values that are queenly

Also the day that I made a commitment to protect and love my Jewish Friends

What does this mean? how does this all fit together? it just shows how inadequate I am to bridge the gap between my current circumstance and what He has plainly put before me. If I have learned anything, it's that out of desperation come the greatest affirmations of faith, and no one is quite so ready to proclaim the gospel as they do not value the pearl.

It's just to show that God has not forgotten me, and indeed, His mercy is splendidly enough for me - such that I'm not a hypocrite when I try to attain to what He's placed before me, because He alone sees my heart.

the truth is, the more I grow closer to my death, the more am I ready to live with just one thing as my purpose in life. Better to have the riches of God's mercy, in giving colour to life, than to go on living without any frame of mind that such a possibility exists. As far as I am dependent on God that is proof that he hasn't finished with me yet.

And how shall I answer in the day that He speaks for me? May it be a worthy response to God in my life. Some friends are paving the way for such great things to happen in the earth today that I can only, at this stage, give my approval in. It's possible that we will all be swallowed up by what God is doing, but not at the expense of ourselves. It will be to those that love much and know God that do great exploits.

Does that mean, then, that the day is coming when "the virgins will wait outside, waiting for the Bridegroom"? it strikes me that there is only one point to this parable. It's that loving God is worth it. Such a person that looks for the pizazz and the exuberance, without knowing the way to enter into the deep and real, will be left outside, but those that have spent time loving Him and found the worth of it, will be let in. They will go into the chambers that reveal greater things.

It's funny how that was what God had been sharing with me, saying "I want you to be anointed so that I could baptize you with my love" - not knowing how this was going to happen, but putting my hand up.

I'm endeavouring on a new project

2014-06-15T15:33:00.000+12:00

I just sat down with my Mum, my Aunt, and my self. I was sharing about how I wanted to let them know that I would probably be moving into a flat on Manchester St. It's just one street over from the place that I'm living. This will make it easier to stay in the same neck of the woods that I have been for just under 2 years. It will also mean that I do not need to alter my life too much. Fingers crossed.

It got onto talking about my flat mate potentially moving out, how would I cope with that? how would I cope with having to get to know some new people all over again? Though these are all important things, I felt like my mind was wandering onto a new subject. It's the issue of community. we've become very good at hiding ourselves from other people. I mean that it's not possible to live in your own world with the alarm bell ringing at 6, breakfast at 7, work at 8, dinner at 6, and sleep at 10 (or 11 if you are a night owl) it's not possible because it neither satisfies, nor is the reason that we were created. We were created for community, for vulnerable honesty, to get to know people, to have joy and laughter, to congragate and tell stories, stories of your upbringing, stories of your experience of God, stories that shape and mould us. In light of this what are we doing? are we content? do we really believe what we say? it's easy to say that you are content in your life, but do dance clubs satisfy? do hours on a controller leave you feeling better afterwards? do food and water, hunger and thirst satisfy you? to this God says a resounding "no" and it was never His intention.

We stand at a crossroads in our lives and the way everything has been told to us, we stand at a junction in history where that is threatened to be swallowed up entirely, and many of us are not even aware of it. In this way what the scriptures say about what will happen is vitally important. but it really comes to us to be able to find out what God is saying. If I mentioned a few issues of our day, would you know what I'm talking about? Abortion, gay marriage, the injustice of persecution towards Christians and Muslims in the middle east, the sex trade industry (on our doorsteps) to all of this if we remain silent, we agree with what is happening. How so? because where we stand on issues is where we stand on the culture that we've been brought up in. And culture is important, is the fabric by which families, society, and indeed nations are built upon. A culture that honors the father and mother is one that will stand. One that demands justice at the cost of others lives, demands them without any legal basis, demands to ruin a society. and it's not so subtle either. Look on the news, look on your favourite TV shows, they are filled with the lies of which we have been comfortably treatised by for our whole lives. It's because culture tells you how to act, and what is important. It's as vital as the questions "Where do I come from? and What is my meaning in life?"

So do you agree that we are at a crossroads? we are on the verge of the greatest outpouring of the Holy Spirit in the history of mankind. An outpouring that promises to transform nations, revitalize our identity, give our hearts the things that we have been so desperately searching for but do not find, and return us to a love for the truth. We are also on the eve of technology that enables us to do this. the importance of reading and writing (made a mockery of in our school systems by replacing it with digital image and peoples opinions) will once again find an expression in our hearts and our cultures, our communities, our nations. how is this going to happen? it's going to come, from the least of all places, the computer. We have grown up in a generation that has been detached from reality but no more. we have also grown up in a generation that don't know common sense when they see it. For an example i say. "we've made computer systems with abilities to organize data, by topic, but not by usefulness" and as a result there's a schism between computer users (in general) and those that are "not nerds, and geeks" who have never used a computer in their life, and do not know how to use it.

I'm endeavouring to start a new project. I'm wanting to make my computer use rooted in reality. I'm wanting to brainstorm ideas for creatively staying in contact with people that are on the other side of the world. I'm actually promoting the thing that we want the most, which is to talk, laugh and do stuff together. but for that to happen, we need a reformation, and it must start soon! all the computer waves of the last 30 years have been focused on what the world wants, what the world needs, and we've followed after it. but there will be a time coming when the greatest creations will come out of people that use technology to impact their very lives. Do I say this as outside of scripture? do I not know that anything that is going to happen must be preceded by an actual scripture? an actual example from scripture. Consider Sinai. The day that the earth shook, the day that God's words were heard from the Mountain, indeed were reverberating inside of them. Does not this sound like God? something happening from within that finds expression in the way that we do life. It also gives precedent to Jesus, the word of God, that dwells inside of us. i'm not the only one, there are not enough books in the world to write all that is going to happen. indeed the Holy Spirit bears me witness saying "Your sons and your daughters shall prophesy. Your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions" do you not know what scripture says. "The Lord has spoken, who can but prophesy?" it was a defence of His ministry. He did not care for applause so He said it as it is. Do I tremble when He speaks? do I shake with my body at the applause of Heaven as He testifies to me and says "You're coming with ME?" without the reward of God none of us will do anything. Our vision is too low. What he has in store will be that of earth-shaking magnitude. He will set all wrongs right, he will judge the rebellious. He will punish the insubordinate.

As is the habit of most, I have not really even started. But my mind is feeble and my body knows it. I tried to make it make sense to you, but the remarkable thing is, he actually speaks to me. It just makes me tremble the fullness of what He has instore for us. What I mean by that, is my days and hours and weeks and years will all be consumed in the reality, the knowledge, the glory of Him. How could it be any other way? Don't settle for second best. don't settle for riches or fame or money. or indeed, for any number of pleasures related to "conforming to the crowd" they don't know where they're going and they have no clue about the desperate need that they have. That just means what it says. People, how can cheap thrills satisfy? can they tell you who you are? can they love you? this is all in the hope that you will love Him, for only in relationship with Him can you rightly discover what He has for you. It's not about a position that you attain to, it's not the recognition of what you've done. He has such brilliant plans for you, because you are His own. He loves you because that's the least to be done. He likes you for loving Him. and it will be right to say in that day "You are worth it all"

Many of you cherish friends far more than I do. I go months without thinking of people. that said, I also remember you each day. But I am so excited to make this work properly. it's because I've bought into the lies that the world has told me, that you can live your life without affecting others. Each of you are precious to my heart and worth all the time that I've known you. If you don't know that, then ask me if I pray for you. So did Jesus when He was on the cross. He was remembering His final prayer. it was only His prayer that was accepted before God. It was His prayer that connected Him with the heart of us, and would not let go until all are "with Him where you are"