southpaw grammar

The story of the Carbolic Smoke Ball.

2009-02-17T20:59:00.006-05:00

Link: The Strange Case of Miss E.C. Carlill versus the Carbolic Smoke Ball Company. (Image at left from The History Of Advertising Trust Posters and Fine Art Prints.) One of my favorite cases yet...

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I can see clearly now: Starbucks really is evil

2008-10-04T20:44:00.003-05:00

Step aside, Slayer. Straight from the depthiest depths of Hell comes this putrid easy-listening nightmare from some band called the Holly Cole Trio, a crew of odious ultra-produced airbrushed smug...

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Fabulously uninteresting, anticlimactic accounts of my run-ins with somewhat famous people.

2008-05-05T23:21:00.005-05:00

Quentin Tarantino. Was at the Angelica Theatre in New York in 1998 or so watching some crap movie. Went to the bathroom, and there was Quentin Tarantino. So I'm at one urinal, he's at the one two...

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College kid acts a fool, gets tasered.

2007-09-18T16:17:00.002-05:00

It's really sad, but I've seen some folks defend this little provocateur with references to our Founding Fathers' resistance against the British. Um, I'm pretty sure our Founding Fathers weren't...

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Some commercials that really get on my lay-uss nurve.

2007-09-10T21:44:00.003-05:00

1. The one for the Viva paper towels where the Mom and her little devil's spawn boy are spraying each other in the kitchen. This one. Oh, it's all just so delightful! Wouldn't want to actually...

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Man vs Not-So-Wild: Bear Grylls is a pretty-boy poseur, just as I suspected.

2007-07-30T21:58:00.002-05:00

Oprah should have a reunion show of the scamsters who get her stamp of approval. (There was not a photograph available of Bear with a shirt on.)This morning at work I got a Schadenfreudetastic bit of...

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My sister had a baby.

2007-05-19T21:28:00.002-05:00

It's honestly one of the best things that's ever happened in my life. They put a parking lot on a piece of land Where the supermarket used to stand. Before that they put up a bowling alley On the...

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A Guest Blog From Neil.

2007-03-26T21:08:00.000-05:00

Neil is apparently getting right damn sick of my ignoring this blog. You know, I want you all to know that I'm not ignoring it. I think about this damn blog all the time, every day. But I've...

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It's beginning to look a lot like a Frightening Dancing Elfy Kevin Christmas.

2006-12-07T17:20:00.000-05:00

You'll have dreams about this. And not good ones. I'm sorry. Click the picture at your own peril.

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Wilford Brimley: The Beetis

2006-12-02T18:00:00.002-05:00

I know, hello and welcome to 10 months ago, but I don't care because this video from some person calling him/herself "morningrise" has made my life. And it'll make yours too if you, like me, are so...

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Claude just threw a big wrench in my preferred theory of dreams.

2006-11-22T16:36:00.000-05:00

Claude dreams about the stuff he lovesClaude, the black pug, that is. Claude dreams a lot. Every time that mug--I mean pug--falls asleep, in no time he's twitching and growling and yipping right...

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I think The Queen is a good film.

2006-11-15T19:51:00.000-05:00

No she's not Jana and I saw it the other night, and I, as always, was skeptical. Mainly figured it might turn out to be the standard Everything Traditional Is Like Totally Oppressive And Sucks theme...

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I just went 15-0 in the Raleigh Scrabble tournament. I don't know how to be modest about this.

2006-10-27T20:16:00.000-05:00

Wait, what'd you call me?It's kind of a weird situation, though, if you think about it. Most of the populace would consider bragging about one's Scrabble prowess to be less a display of arrogance...

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Kevin's Tip Nimba 2 For Better Living.

2006-10-13T19:47:00.000-05:00

Here a minute ago I was thinking about how my back isn't really hurting anymore. Since last Satdy, I've had this insidious pain near my left scapula, kinda under it, but maybe closer up to my neck. ...

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It's killing me: who's coming here from the 70 park avenue hotel in Manhattan? Also, Ceiling Cat.

2006-10-03T22:09:00.000-05:00

Please tell me. I mean this hotel is like $525 a night at a minimum. Even if you're just a guy at the Starbucks across the street stealing their wireless, let me know. Also, Ceiling Cat is...

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The fascinating hell of being a perfectionist.

2006-09-18T20:47:00.000-05:00

Spud's a bit of a perfectionist Somehow, it's gotten so proclaiming oneself a "perfectionist" is taken to be bragging. I don't think I'm going to uses the phrase "smacks of" ever again. Right then...

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The Pixies could crap a better rock song than you can hear on Rock Star: Supernova.

2006-08-22T22:03:00.000-05:00

Wow, wow, wow, wow. Wow. Wow wow wow. LALALALALAboodulaboodulaboodula. Spit spit spit. I've just seen this abomination and I'm like chock full of fight or flight response. I really want to hit...

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How Stuff Doesn't Work: Marshall Brain and 9/11 Conspiracy Theories

2006-08-07T21:30:00.000-05:00

Have any of you seen this? On the illustrious Marshall Brain's brilliant site HowStuffWorks.com, I ran across "How Conspiracy Theories Work". Brain (yes, it's his real name) is a bit of an internet...

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If you like pornography, you might not want to visit this site.

2006-07-31T11:04:00.000-05:00

one angry girl®'s Porn Myths. (Picture at left is a screen shot from her site.) one angry girl® is a serious, devoted feminist who doesn't think much of Republicans or "family values," and her site...

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101 Tips For Better Living. Give or take 95.

2006-06-26T19:00:00.000-05:00

I'm just so full of tips. Right now I have six. I'm going to start bussing y'all in the mouf with some of them. Have A Short Voice Mail Greeting Because The Cell Phone Company Overexplaining...

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How about I smack around The Interpols¹ some more?

2006-05-12T15:53:00.000-05:00

Another song off Turn On The Bright Lights has a lyric so HEINOUSLY OFFENSIVE that when I'm driving and I hear it I stop the car and get out and fall to my knees and lean back and put my arms in the...

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More proof that the Interwebs and Wham! are bringing the world together.

2006-04-15T00:35:00.000-05:00

Somebody from Al Kuwayt, Kuwait got to my blog the other day by Googling LYRIC OF I AM NEVER GONNA DANCE AGAIN GUILTY FROM WHAMlanding him on the Careless Whisper thing I wrote. Read it with an...

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You do realize that if there's no God, there's no morality.

2006-04-14T22:34:00.000-05:00

I mean, zip. Nothing. (I don't say "nada" with this, though I considered "zilch." But I already had a "z" word.) Actually, what I'm talking about here is the existence of souls or any type of...

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No. No, they're just screwing with me now. Or maybe I dreamed it.

2006-03-27T23:51:00.000-05:00

Look, it's the new Starbucks Seal! Don't give me that look, you know you giggled.There is a new Starbucks quote cup. It makes Bill Brummel's insipid maxim seem downright sage by comparison. It is...

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Dear Thom: Please stick to imitating Jeff Buckley. For the love of God. Sincerely, Me

2006-03-24T01:25:00.000-05:00

Newly self-appointed Arbiter of Environmental Credentials Among Western Heads of State. The natural next step up from "great singer"Oh how I hate it when my favorite musicians get all earnest and...

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