spain dad, a baby blog

Nesting

2009-11-03T16:15:00.001+01:00

nest•ing in•stinct
n. refers to an instinct or urge in pregnant animals to prepare a home for the upcoming newborn(s). It is found in a variety of animals (both mammals and birds) and can occur in human mothers as well.

April stopped and set down the shopping bag in the middle of the sidewalk.

"You're going to have to carry this one too," she said with a sigh.

Both of us watched a couple in the parking lot. She was pregnant and stood next to the car while he lifted their bags out of the grocery cart into the trunk. Eventually they both got into the car and sped away.

We also had enough shopping bags to fill a trunk, but unlike the couple in the car that was already on their way home, we were still standing in the middle of the sidewalk. Our bags were filled with pots and pans and glass tumblers and fluffy pillows and waste baskets and other trimmings for our apartment, and somehow we had managed to stuff them all in the back of Alleke's stroller and the backpack I was wearing and the shopping bag that was now sitting on the pavement.

"We need a car," is what I said to April as I wondered how we would ever get all this stuff down the stairs to the metro station when April was nine months pregnant. I would have to figure out some way to do it by myself.

I was also kicking myself for not being smarter. April had admitted to me that she was nesting, and yet, despite the obvious implications, I had let her drag me and Alleke out to the IKEA at the edge of the city and even watched as she bought all this stuff that I wouldn't be able to carry home.

I envied the guy with the car. In his world, nesting amounted to driving his pregnant wife to the store.

Sending Kids to School in Spain (podcast)

2009-10-28T17:44:00.009+01:00

Hi, this is April, the mom from Spain Dad. Today I'm going to be interviewing Kelly, the dad from Spain Dad, about sending kids to school in Spain. We are far from experts on Spanish schooling or even sending kids to school in general, but we've experienced the whole process once now. We have a three-year-old daughter who started school in Spain this fall, so we thought we would share our experience with you.

This interview is also available to listen to as a podcast.

April: So, Kelly, first can you explain a little bit about Alleke's schooling situation.

Kelly: We really had four options for Alleke in terms of schooling. The first one was simply not to send her to school. As far as I know, I don't think Alleke's really required to go to school in Spain until she's five or six.

The other three options were to send Alleke to a public school, a private school, or in Spain what's called a concertado, which is a mix of the two. We decided not to send Alleke to a public school because she would be required to go all day every day, and we were looking for a school that would allow us to send Alleke to school half days.

We also could have sent Alleke to a private school, and I'm sure we could have found one that would have allowed us to send Alleke to school only half days, but because these schools are private that means the parents pay full tuition.

The last schooling option, which is what we decided on, was a concertado. The school gave us the option to send Alleke to school only in the mornings, and it was cheaper because concertados are partly subsidized by the government.

So, on a normal day we drop Alleke off at school in the mornings between nine and ten, and we have to pick her up at twelve thirty. All the other kids in Alleke's class come back after lunch, and they're at school from three to five. Alleke's teacher sends home her afternoon schoolwork, and we do that work together at home. We're happy because we don't have to send Alleke to school all day.

April: Why did you decide to send Alleke to school at three years old?

Kelly: Good question. I've discovered that people have very strong opinions about when kids should start school and why. Even within the culture where I grew up in the States kids had a variety of different experiences. In my family specifically, we all started school at age five. Because this had been my own experience, I was looking forward to having Alleke at home with us for as long as we could. Also, our job situation allows for one of us to be home with Alleke, so we even could have kept her home with us until she was five. But, it matters that we live within another culture.

It mostly matters that we live in another culture because I noticed over the last nine months that Alleke was old enough—she's three years old now—that she really wanted to play with the other kids at the playground and talk to them. Before that point, she was young enough that she mostly just played by herself. Once she was old enough to play with other kids, however, she ran up against the language barrier. Even though we speak English with her at home and Spanish in the street—so she hears a lot of Spanish—she didn't need Spanish enough to learn it, so she was never able to communicate herself with words to the other kids at the playground. I realized that we were going to have to put Alleke in a situation where she needed to learn Spanish, and school seemed like the best option.

I think it's also worth mentioning that a few years ago we realized that we were living year to year in Spain. We never knew how long we were going to be here, so we kept thinking of our situation as temporary. Eventually we got to the point where in order to really live in the present, to "live in the now," we needed to at least act like we were living in Spain long term, even if we didn't know if we would be living here.

The reason this realization is important in regards to sending Alleke to school is that most children in Spain are in school by the age of three. Kids are expected to be in school by age three, even if it's not mandatory. We wanted to put Alleke into school this year because that's what people do in the culture where we live. Alleke is already different enough from the other kids in our neighborhood. I mean, there's plenty of diversity where we live, but you know, she's got American parents. She's got blond hair. She's got blue eyes. None of the other kids in her class have these things, and I guess I don't want to be making American decisions in Spain. I want to be making decisions that make sense here, and that contribute towards Alleke feeling like she's a part of the place where she lives, instead of always feeling like her parents are making parenting decisions that are contrary to the culture where she lives.

April: How did you prepare Alleke for going to school at a young age and in Spanish?

Kelly: Well, we almost missed our chance. We were in summer mode, and all of sudden before we knew it school was starting. I don't think we really talked with Alleke about going to school until maybe a week or two before it started. The beautiful thing about toddlers is their sense of time is really different than ours. I'm not a psychologist, so I don't know this for sure, but I've noticed that usually Alleke does better with a transition if I tell her just before it happens. If I tell her too far in advance, she gets impatient having to wait so long for it to happen.

When we did tell Alleke she was going to school, we made sure to talk through the transition in depth. We took the time to imagine what it would be like for her to go to school and what she would encounter.

Also, whenever we had to physically go to the school like last spring when we signed up, we always took Alleke with us. I had to stop by the school this fall to get some information, and I made sure to show her that there was a playground at the school, so there was something that she could be excited about.

As far as long-range planning, I think we've been preparing Alleke for school for a long time. First of all, we made the decision to be a bi-lingual family, like I mentioned earlier. Because we're both English speakers, we decided to speak English at home and then doing the best we could to speak Spanish outside of the home, so that Alleke would get used to encountering Spanish when she wasn't at home.

Another trick that we use all the time is Alleke has a couple of older kids that she really looks up to, so whenever we're going through a transition, I just mention the names of these two kids, and it's like magic. All of a sudden she wants to do that thing. So, the fact that these two older kids go to school in Spain meant Alleke wanted to go to school too.

April: We saw the video of Alleke's first day of school and how all that day went, but how has she been doing since then in the month or so that she's been at school?

Kelly: There was definitely a honeymoon phase the first week. Alleke loved the first week. Every day she wanted to go school and she was happy when she came home. Then the weekend came, she was home with us for a couple days, and I think she realized how good it was to be at home again. The second week was the hardest. The worst part was dropping her off at school because she would cry. What keeps me going is that she seems happy when we pick her up. Even though she's hesitant to stay in the morning, at least it's a positive experience for her, and I can tell that when I pick her up.

One of the mistakes we made was we didn't explain to Alleke that going to school was something she would be doing for a long time. In other situations where we were looking forward to something, like going to the amusement park or celebrating a birthday, it was always a one-time event. I don't think we really realized this in advance, but Alleke most likely thought she was only going to school for a day or a couple of days. I'm sure she had no idea she would still be going to school a month and a half later. Poor kid!

April: What do you think Alleke's enjoying the most about school?

Kelly: Her teacher. I'm not exactly sure why. I think it's been a great experience for her to trust another adult when we're not around. We were the immigrant family that had no idea what we were doing. We didn't know Alleke's teacher in advance, and I'm not even sure how we would have found that information out. We lucked out, though. Alleke's teacher is great. I have great respect for her, and she's really what makes the whole thing work. In the morning when I drop Alleke off, her teacher always makes the effort to come over and say hello and start a conversation with Alleke and get her involved playing with the other kids so that I can leave.

April: As a parent, what have you found the most challenging about Alleke being in school?

Kelly: I hate dropping Alleke off at school in the morning when she doesn't want to be there, even if when I pick her up she's really enjoyed it and talks about how she got to do all this fun stuff. Also, I miss having her around when I'm at home. There are certain days of the week when I would be home during the time when she's now at school, and we got to do a lot of really domestic things like hanging up laundry or going grocery shopping, and now I have to do these things by myself. It's just not as much fun. I liked having a companion—somebody to laugh with and have fun with.

Also, to be expected, Alleke's been sick since she started school. I hadn't really thought about it until now, but it's been one illness after another. It's been a lot of work having to take care of a sick kid for a month and a half straight.

April: Do you have any advice for parents who will be sending their children to school in Spain at the age of three?

Kelly: One practical thing is that if your kid starts school at the age of three that's not actually very much time after they're born to figure out the whole schooling system. I remember thinking, "Oh, there's going to be plenty of time to figure out schooling later," but before I knew it, Alleke was already at the age where we needed to start thinking about schooling, and it was just by coincidence that one of our Spanish friends, Clara, mentioned that March of the year before Alleke started school was when we needed to visit schools, decide on one, and sign up. If Clara hadn't mentioned this to us, I don't know where we would be. We just had no idea. I was not even thinking about school, so my main advice would be get started early and find somebody with experience in the schooling system that can give you advice.

Also, on an emotional level, it's okay that it's hard to send your kids off to school. Give yourself permission. I try to give myself permission to feel sad about Alleke going to school, but I also try to stay positive. It wasn't easy for Alleke to start school. But I try to see it as an opportunity for her to learn and to grow, and I try to remember that she gets something out of it too. She's learning the language, and she's making friends. I try to focus in on these goods things as much as possible.

April: Well, that's all the questions we'll be answering today. I hope that something from our conversation has helped you in your situation. Feel free to leave a comment with your own experiences, corrections, or questions.

For more, watch our video series of dads giving advice on sending kids to school in a foreign country...

Stick People

2009-10-25T09:45:00.000+01:00

Alleke drew people today for the first time.

Happy and Sad
The happy person is the one on top, and the sad person is the one on the bottom. April drew the body of the sad person.

Boy and Girl
The boy is the one on the left. April drew the eyelashes, bodies and chair at Alleke's request.

Family
I guess Alleke thinks of us as a worm family. She's the colorful one in the middle, and of course, I'm always the big one. The lines are trees.

Shaving Cream

2009-10-21T17:25:00.001+02:00

How to Make Paper

2009-10-13T07:18:00.000+02:00

Watch How to Make Paper on Vimeo.

The sad truth is kids can have fun without their parents.

2009-10-09T15:23:00.063+02:00

We are celebrating Alleke's 3rd birthday today. I'm eating a cupcake with sprinkles as I write these words.

This morning I hesitated before asking Alleke's teacher if she could take a picture of Alleke's preschool birthday party, but I'm glad I did. She took 22 pictures in two hours!

See all the photos Alleke's teacher took this morning...

Teddy Bear

2009-10-04T22:54:00.001+02:00

For Alleke Amsterdam will forever be the city where anything goes. Not because she noticed the skunky smell of marijuana as we left Centraal Station or the coffee shops with their chalkboard menus listing Moroccan hash for five euros a pop, but because when we arrived at our friends' house in the quiet suburb of Amstelveen, we discovered that they had converted their guest bedroom into a magical place.

A crowd of stuffed animals, including a teddy bear from Las Vegas that was taller than Alleke herself, welcomed Alleke into her new room with a tea party already underway. She ran over and pointed at the Care Bears on her bed spread, and by the time she had brushed her teeth and put on her pajamas, she had been convinced that the night light at the end of her bed, which was nothing more than an orange bulb, was in fact her very own kid-sized full moon watching over her as she slept.

I kissed Alleke goodnight and walked over to the turn off the lights.

"Daddy, I don't want you to leave," Alleke said on cue.

I looked around the room and spotted the giant slouching teddy bear at the end of the bed. "I'm sleeping in the room next door," I said, "but guess who's going to be with you while you fall asleep tonight?"

Alleke stared at the ceiling, deep in thought.

"God," she said.

I grinned. "Well, actually, I was thinking of the giant teddy bear at the end of your bed, but yeah, God too," I said.

Convent

2009-09-24T19:04:00.002+02:00

I stood at the door of the convent and put my phone to my ear.

"Hi," I said. "I just dropped Alleke off at her classroom, and she was crying."

"Did she say what was wrong?" April asked.

"She told me this morning that she didn't want to go to school, and then when we got to her classroom, she said she didn't want me to leave. When I handed her to her teacher, she reached for me and started to cry."

"Did you stay or did you leave?"

"I left. I said goodbye first, but it didn't seem like it was going to help if I stayed. The teacher walked away with Alleke and tried to distract her at one of the tables where the kids were playing with blocks."

I paused.

"She feels safer with you, you know," I said. "I'm the one who pushes her out there. Today was the first day she cried when I dropped her off, and I wanted to make sure I didn't push her too far. I don't want to be the reason she hates school for the rest of her life."

April laughed.

"So she was with her teacher when you left?" she asked.

"Yes"

"Then she'll be fine," April said. "She's not alone."

Alleke's First Day of School in Spain

2009-09-14T19:34:00.000+02:00

Grab your backpack and tag along with Alleke on her first day of school...

Watch Alleke's First Day of School on Vimeo.

Starting School in a Foreign Country (Jay Sensenig)

2009-09-11T15:12:00.001+02:00

We continue our series on dads talking about sending their kids to school in a foreign country. Jay Sensenig raised three kids in Venezuela. He talks about setting aside time each day after school to listen to your children talk about how things are going at school.

If you would like to ask Jay a question, feel free to email him at jay@mountainview-church.com.

Starting School in a Foreign Country (Lawrence Braniff)

2009-09-09T11:10:00.000+02:00

We continue our series on dads talking about sending their kids to school in a foreign country. Lawrence Braniff has two kids in school in Madrid. He suggests that the traditional school setting is not the only option. He and his wife Cathy have sent their two kids to Spanish school half days until they're six, and then home-schooled them.

If you would like to ask Lawrence a question about homeschooling in Spain, feel free to email him at CathyandLawrence@hotmail.com.

Candy

2009-09-08T18:11:00.000+02:00

飴 / candy by yomi955.

I emailed my friend Joe to see if he had any advice about sending Alleke to the preschool where he sent his daughter last year. He wrote back later in the day. I read April the email while we were sitting at the table drinking a cup of tea, and Alleke was sitting in her high chair making shapes out of a lump of clay.

The last lines I read from Joe's email said, "Also, be resigned to the fact that the teachers are going to feed Alleke candy from time to time."

Alleke looked up from her lump of clay.

"Daddy," she asked, "what did you say about candy?"

I smiled. "Joe said sometimes the teachers at your school will give you candy."

Alleke clapped her hands. "How fun!" she said.

While I am thrilled that Alleke is looking forward to starting school in a little over a week, I wonder if she has the whole picture considering what she knows about her preschool is the following:

a) teachers will feed her candy

b) the school is one big playground, since she's never seen a classroom, only the colorful playground in the courtyard

c) the students play games all day, since sometimes the teachers bring the kids outside the school to play games during the day, and we see them when we walk by on our way to run errands.

Ignorance is bliss, and perhaps best. I can only hope that Alleke's enthusiasm about school, as romanticized as it may be, will help her make it through the first days when she discovers that the other kids don't understand her when she speaks English.

Bored

2009-09-03T11:34:00.000+02:00

Tapas Bar by ixtlan

"Daddy?" Alleke said, peering up at me from under the restaurant table.

"Yes Alleke?" I asked, nodding a thanks to the waitress as she set down a plate in front of me.

"I need to go to the bathroom," Alleke said triumphantly.

I took a closer look at the plate of roasted duck sitting in front of me, sighed heavily, then pushed my chair back and took Alleke by the hand.

Our friends Erin and Derek from Florida are visiting for a week. They enjoy food like us, so we've been taking them to some of our favorite restaurants. When Erin asked if we go out to eat often, I said, "When we have visitors," with a grin, "so thanks for being our excuse."

What I've discovered this week, however, is that situations parents find relaxing, kids find boring. And if kids are bored, parents aren't relaxed.

The night before we were sitting at a candle-lit table in Plaza Santa Ana, talking, eating a table full of colorful tapas, drinking wine, listening to the guitar player strum his flamenco music, while Alleke kicked off her shoes and climbed all over me and my chair like we were her own personal jungle gym.

When Alleke got tired of climbing around, she told me she had to go to the bathroom, and she dragged me across the street into the restaurant and through the cocktail bar in the basement to the bathrooms. She asked me to wait outside the stall while she did her business, then balanced on my knee while she got soap on her hands and made bubbles in the sink, and finally asked me to hold her up by the waist so she could feel the hot air from the hand dryer on her hands.

Before we had kids, I said I wouldn't let kids stop me from doing the things I enjoy doing. The flaw in that plan is if Alleke isn't enjoying what we're doing, I'm not going to enjoy it either.

Portugal

2009-09-01T08:00:00.002+02:00

We spent last week in Portugal for our family vacation. Our budget was small, so we decided to stay with friends, borrow another friend's car, and spend our days at the beach or playing in the front yard. All I can say is the best things in life are free!

Although we spent a lot of time at the beach, I actually found the most beauty and rest in the little village and the country house where we were staying. I've got some photos...

See more of my photos of Portugal...

Starting School in a Foreign Country (Teal Rapp)

2009-08-31T08:16:00.001+02:00

We continue our series on dads talking about sending their kids to school in a foreign country. Teal Rapp says one of the hardest moments of his life was dropping his two daughters off at a French elementary school in Aix en Provence for their first day of school, knowing his girls didn't speak a word of French. But, he doesn't regret the decision now...

Watch Starting School in a Foreign Country (Teal Rapp) on Vimeo.

If you would like to ask Teal a question, feel free to email him at tealrapp@gmail.com.

Starting School in a Foreign Country (Phil Graf)

2009-08-28T14:45:00.002+02:00

We continue our series on dads talking about sending their kids to school in a foreign country. Phil Graf lives in Amsterdam with his five children. He talks about the importance of a democratic household where children are involved in making decisions, including schooling.

Watch Starting School in a Foreign Country (Phil Graf) on Vimeo.

27 weeks

2009-08-27T11:08:00.004+02:00

Stars

2009-08-26T10:16:00.002+02:00

Last night Alleke and I hiked down to the beach to the look at the stars. We lay there in the sand side by side looking up at the sky, spread out in front of us like a map of a million cities.

Eventually I turned over and asked Alleke,"Can you count the stars?"

She nodded confidently, and then carefully began counting each star with her pointer finger. "One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven," she said, and then looked at me.

"Seven," I said, nodding in agreement.

Today we were eating lunch in the backyard with our friends Carey and Marty, and I was telling them the story about Alleke counting the stars. When I finished, April said, "Oh, that's because I take Alleke up on the roof of our apartment building in Madrid to hang up laundry, and when we count stars, we can only see seven."

Starting School in a Foreign Country (Hud McWilliams)

2009-08-24T10:36:00.002+02:00

Hud McWilliams, a psychologist who specializes in families living abroad, begins our series on dads talking about sending their kids to school in a foreign country.

Alleke will be starting preschool in the mornings this fall, so I went looking for some dads who could give me advice about how to handle this transition well. I have seven dads lined up for interviews, and I'll be posting two interviews each week. I hope you find their experience useful.

Watch Starting School in a Foreign Country on Vimeo.

If you would like to ask Hud a question, feel free to email him at Hud@HudMcWilliams.com.

Innocence

2009-08-13T11:10:00.001+02:00

my friend Enrique who sleeps at Plaza Mayor

The stroller was parked at the front door, and I sat on the couch stuffing a backpack with Alleke's things when she walked over and handed me her blankie.

"Put this in the backpack," she said, "because I want to sleep with it on the bench tonight."

I'm sure I would have had no idea what Alleke was talking about except that a week earlier she had asked me about the man who sleeps on the bench at her playground.

"That man is homeless," I said, trying to find words to explain the situation. "He doesn't have a house to sleep in, so he sleeps on that bench."

Alleke frowned.

"But why doesn't he have a house?" she asked, looking up at me.

"I don't know," I said with a shrug. "Maybe he can't find a job, so he doesn't have money to pay for a house."

Alleke stared at the man for a while longer, and then ran off to play in the sand.

That night after I had kissed Alleke goodnight and gotten up to leave her room, she said to me, "Daddy, when I'm homeless, I'm going to sleep on a bench."

"Oh sweetie," I said, kneeling next to her bed again, "you don't have to worry about being homeless or sleeping on a bench because mom and I are going to take good care of you, okay?"

Alleke nodded.

Every day since Alleke asked me about that man sleeping on the bench, however, she's been making elaborate plans for her own survival when she's homeless and has to sleep on a park bench. I suppose kids who grow up on a farm imagine being farmers someday. Kids who grow up in town pretend to run the grocery store or teach at the school. Kids who grow up in the middle of the city imagine what it would be like to be homeless.

I mentioned Alleke's obsession with being homeless to my Spanish tutor, Jesús, and he said, "Kelly, you can't tell your kids everything. You have to simplify things for them, so they can understand."

"Are you going to tell your two-year-old daughter why that prostitute is standing on the corner?" Jesús asked me, grinning with the satisfaction of a point well made.

Jesús was right, of course. I had considered it a personal challenge to explain to Alleke even the most complicated situations because living in the middle of the city with a toddler, it didn't seem possible to protect my child's innocence. Was it realistic to think that I could avoid explaining homelessness to Alleke when there was a homeless guy sleeping on a bench at her playground? Innocence was out of the question, so I thought.

But, when Jesús framed the situation with extremes, I could see that I did have my limits. Maybe I simply wasn't willing to fight for Alleke's innocence. Maybe I had given up already.

The purpose of innocence, as I'm beginning to understand it, is not overwhelming our children with complex experiences and decisions that they don't understand, and as a result, are not able to process well. It's better to teach our children values and beliefs using the small things first so that as they grow up, they can apply those same values and beliefs to larger, more complex situations and decisions.

Speaking of complex situations, now I just need to find a way to convince Alleke that she can sleep in her bed tonight, not on the park bench down at the playground.

24 Weeks

2009-08-09T17:03:00.000+02:00

How to Make Lemonade

2009-08-05T15:30:00.004+02:00

Welcome back to Alleke's Cooking Show. In the spirit of summer, Alleke would like to show you how to make a cold pitcher of fresh-squeezed lemonade. Like all toddlers, Alleke's recipe includes carefully counting all the lemons, licking the sugar off her fingers, and of course taking the first glass to mom for a taste test. If you're up for some fun, join Alleke in the kitchen...

Watch How to Make Lemonade on Vimeo.

Alleke's Lemonade Recipe:
6 lemons
6 cups of water
1 cup of sugar

If you don't have a juicer, just use your hand and a fork to squeeze the juice from the lemons. It's more work, but the lemonade tastes just as good!

Watch the previous episode of Alleke's Cooking Show: How to Make Saturday Morning Pancakes...

Pajamas

2009-08-02T16:31:00.001+02:00

I woke to someone tapping my shoulder. I opened my eyes and blinked in the darkness. April must have come to bed, I thought. I felt the bed shaking underneath me. Is she laughing? I wondered.

April leaned over my shoulder and whispered in my ear, trying hard to get out a few words between her fits of laughter and gasps for breath.

"Why...are you...wearing...my pajamas?" she asked, and then erupted again with laughter.

My eyes had adjusted to the light enough by that point that when I looked down I could see that I was indeed wearing a women's tank top with spaghetti straps. It was not very flattering. Unfortunately, I have a habit of doing strange things in my sleep.

"I got cold with the fan on," I said angrily and buried my head in my pillow. I closed my eyes and went to sleep again with April next to me still shaking the bed with her laughter.

Through the Eyes of a Child

2009-07-30T10:29:00.001+02:00

I've often wondered what the world must look like through Alleke's eyes, at age two. So, a few months ago when she discovered my old digital camera at the bottom of a wicker basket heaped with forgotten cables and gadgets, I put in some AA batteries, showed her how to turn on the camera and take a picture, and told her to run along and have fun.

The result is the following collection of photography, the first I've seen taken by a two-year-old without any guidance. I find it fascinating to see the world from her perspective (even from her height) and to imagine what she was thinking when she took each photo. Of course, there are lots of photos of mama!

Dibbs

2009-07-27T20:06:00.000+02:00

We had two girl names picked out for Alleke when she was born. April had her favorite, and I had mine. Neither of us was willing to give up our name right up until the very end, so we did what all indecisive people do, we decided not to decide. Well, actually, we agreed to wait until after Alleke was born so we could hold her in our arms, get a good look at her, and then, we thought, we would just know.

As for our genius plan, well, let's just say that a couple days after Alleke was born she still didn't have a name, and none of us was fit to name a child. I still hadn't taken a shower or remembered to feed myself or gotten any sleep because I was either too scared or too giddy. It was like asking a Japanese game-show contestant to name a child while he's playing soccer in binoculars.

I felt bad for April, though, lying there in her hospital bed. Maybe that was her plan all along because I said we could use her name. On one condition, of course, that if we had another girl we would use my name.

April agreed.

The day April got pregnant with our second child, I reminded her of her promise. I was pleased that my name was safe under lock and key. I had dibbs.

And then about two months ago April was talking with her brother Tim, who is expecting his first daughter three months before us. April asked Tim if they had picked a name. He said they had a list of ten, and he told April the names. April smiled.

"You picked one of those names too, didn't you?" Tim said.

April nodded. "Should I tell you which one?" she asked.

"No," Tim said. "I don't want to know."

For more, read about the time our ex-landlord attempted to name Alleke...