In the hopes of making you feel momentarily better by laughing, I’ll admit something embarrassing: at first I really thought you found and lost an actual lottery ticket. It wasn’t obvious to me that it was a metaphor until you said it should be obvious. *blushes*

You sound prepared. Your magic running shoes will take you where you want to go. I’m sure of it.

{hugs}
Kathy

It seems to me that one of the most difficult things in life to come to grips with is the reality of unfulfilled and/or wasted potential. And the fact that (at least in my case) there is usually no one to blame but the person who stares back at you from the mirror.

“How did I get here, to this place I never even wanted to visit, much less LIVE?” you ask yourself, and the person looking back at you has no reply except to say with their eyes, “Well, I mean, it was your doing. Mostly. Maybe not all, but mostly.” And at that point you have to take stock. Make lists. Tuck your broken heart into a velvet pouch somewhere inside your chest where it won’t ache so much unless you unintentionally prod it. Paste a brave smile on your face.

Determine to forget all of what has gone before except for the valuable lessons the past — no matter how recent — has taught you. Deny the imps of hell access to your thought processes, because all they ever do is chant the same tired litany: “You’re just not up to snuff, ha ha, it’s funny how you keep acting like you are when you aren’t and you never will be.” THEY LIE. It’s their JOB. The pay stinks but, like union workers, they’ve sold their soul to the company store. Do not give those brutes the satisfaction of having bullied you into taking counsel of your fears.

Just so you know, these are battles I face every day … and so, like would-be SCOTUS Justice Sonya affirmative-action-baby Sotomayor, I have EMPATHY. I know what you’re going through. And I believe in you, and in the brightness of your future, and in your vast, special, one-of-a-kind potential. I will live to see yours — and mine — realized.

I am praying for you, my awesome friend. Smile tho’ your heart is aching; smile even tho’ it’s breaking. You’re one of the good guys!

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. ~Romans 8:35-39

But that was, oh, 30 years ago or so. He told us all about it at the presser. Something about his tone of voice said to me: “This man has been having an affair.” Or maybe it was the carpetbagger-sized compartments under his eyes, or the defeated look in those same eyes, or the tears leaking from those eyes, or the fact that he couldn’t look his own wife in HER eyes, that tipped me off.

*sigh* Why can’t men simply BE FAITHFUL? The man claims to be a Christian! And a conservative Republican! And the father of four BOYS who will soon be MEN who will presumably take vows relative to intended faithfulness to WOMEN who BELIEVE them and TAKE MULTIPLE TRIPS TO THE DELIVERY ROOM AND SAY SAYONARA TO THEIR WAISTLINES AND SIGN ON FOR A LIFETIME OF WASHING THE BLUE BOXERS BECAUSE OF THEM … PULEEEEEZE guys, please. Please. Think about who you’re going to humiliate before you start emailing strange women in Argentina.

Or not-so-strange women right under your clueless nose.

Wow. My blog is dying on the vine too … maybe it’s because I’m over HERE blogging. Mind if I borrow this comment and post it on IHATH, Kev? There’s a case of Coke Zero in it for ya!

As for you and Mark Sanford being all buddy buddy…I’m just not seein’ it. Kev, you are so cool and Mark Sanford is just so so nerdy. I mean..c’mon. You know Mark Sanford wasn’t exactly sitting at the “cool kids” table in high school. He wasn’t the one scoring 20 points in the basketball game and wearing a letter jacket. He was probably suffering from acne and this was in the days before “Proactive”.

You have to think that the whole acne thing is what drove him to being a serial killer and camper.

Good thing you had an “emergency at work”. That was a close one.

During my Monday night bootcamp classes, there are a couple of guys who insist on barking and howling like dogs at key points in the workout. Every now and then, they’ll even yell “This is great!” or “I love this!”

Clearly, they are trying to draw attention, as though to say, “Hey, look at me! I am so good! I am so much the MAN!” This is annoying enough, but what’s worse is that most of the time, they aren’t even doing the moves right! They’re barely picking their feet off the ground while doing kicks or knee raises, for example, yet they have no problem yelling out that they really love the workout. Sheesh!

On Saturdays, I sometimes attend this kickboxing class. In contrast to the testosterone-driven posers I mentioned earlier, this one has a flamboyant fella who keeps punctuating the music with cries of “Whoo, whoo!” Like the other guys, he’s clearly trying to tell everyone how much he enjoys the workout, and just like them, he’s barely doing the moves. Where does he think he is, at a gym or at a disco?

I’d re-paper that bathroom asap. I’d be a little afraid if Boyfriend had that in his house. lol

I’d also like to know how I get bug bites and don’t realize it until it starts itching! Ho does a bug bite me when I’m wide awake and I not know it? Especially when they end up on my FACE.

I must know.

1. Your incredibly awesome blog post has left me speechless

2. Your incredibly handsome profile picture has stolen the words right from me mouth.

You’re welcome

You have my sympathies, mate.

I bump, bruise, and scratch my person all the time and am unable to remember how I did it. Well … the other day I fell UP some stairs while toting Allissa (who is, shall we say, perfectly capable of walking but I just enjoyed carrying her). I thought I had escaped serious injury but that night when I went to turn over in bed, I discovered that I had badly bruised my elbow and left knee. You never heard such moaning and groaning! *sound effects*

But in your case, I think what you did was, you inadvertently dropped (because who in their right mind would ADVERTENTLY drop something) your sunglasses onto the floor where they skittered six inches beneath the sofa (perhaps while moving?) and when you reached into that dank, dark space to retrieve said shades, a brown recluse spider (they are very stealthy, mate, and very quick), took a tasty nibble from that there thumb and is even now burping as a result of this impromptu but wholly delicious fast-food snack.

Didn’t you?

I say you did, and I hate to tell you this but there is now a 14% chance that you have contracted necrotizing fascitits (affectionately known in the brown recluse medical community as flesh-eating disease), and I am really sorry to have to disclose this next part but, hey buddy? I hope you were a binky-baby because if that’s the thumb you sucked as a kid, you have just increased your chances of losing that thumb by at least another 42%.

Do the math, my friend. Do the math.

Happily, brown recluses are especially reclusive in the State of Georgia, on account of they have a natural aversion to rainy nights, grits drawls, and moonlight through the pines.

Sooooooo … it probably WAS the barbed-wire steering wheel that did it. File that bad boy down and you’ll be good to go.

And if you are acquainted with the right kind of women (which I happen to know you are), the word “baby” in just about any decent context will elicit only a positive reaction.

I hope no one reads anything weird into that last statement.

Gotta run! Must continue righting wrongs and re-righting rights. Limited time.

Congrats on the house though!!!

@Audrey: Haha. I guess I’m a little relieved. Of course, finding a girl who fits into the third category might not be easy. Honest girls who are understanding don’t exactly grow on trees you know!

@Miss Danna: I’ll e-mail you my address as soon as I finish with this comment!

Interesting idea turning it into “The Angel Bathroom.” That certainly would make it a conversation piece! There have probably been hundreds of songs (Christian AND pop) with “angel” in the title, too. I could have those songs playing constantly in the bathroom. Yes, it’s genius.

Any room in which there are regularly liquids not concealed in pipes or a fish tank should expect liquids on the floor. The condo I’m currently renting has all tile downstairs. And while this makes it “cold” in the “cold” winters (cold is kind of relative in Southern California), it is wonderfully easy to clean up when things have been spilled.

House B, especially since you’re only planning on six to twelve months.

In two homes, I had carpet in the kitchen. It is really densely woven and easy to wipe up spills. Temperature-wise, it is nice for going barefoot in the winter.

Jimmy’s up here in Michigan. Granholm first crossed the border years ago to suck the life out of him like the succubus she is. (And did you see she’s on King Barry’s list for SCOTUS? I used to think he was playing games with our heads, but now I’m wondering if he isn’t borderline retarded or something.)

And dude, yes, TOTALLY go for the pool table. But good luck on the search.

@Audrey: Haha. I can read between the lines. What you’re really saying is, “Good grief! ANOTHER guy with a pool table?!”

Wha?? My fort is on fire?!?! Those darn neighbors’ kids. You see, THIS is why I had the mote installed!

@Jenny: Compromise, but do not settle. Methinks putting that into practice is a LOT harder than it would seem! Haha.

@gianna: I have NO idea why they have carpet in the kitchen. It’s been there for years, from the looks of it. I can only assume the old flooring needed to be replaced (as well as the flooring in the rest of the house), so rather than put in a LITTLE bit of effort and money into the project, they just decided, “We’ll just put carpet everywhere.” Nice, guys. Very professional.

@Angie: Ooooh. I hadn’t considered that. There’s no telling what could be underneath the carpet. Hey, maybe that’s where they hid Jimmy Hoffa?

@Josh: Gotcha. So wall color is something I should let slide. A half bath that is two feet by six feet, on the other hand…

@Angi: No joke. Honestly, though, the carpets were shabby enough that I could probably spill something in the kitchen and no one would be able to tell the difference. They were that bad.

And the thing is, three steps away is a dining room with beautiful hardwood floors. It’s as if those three steps take me into some kind of bizarro universe.

Can you imagine having to shampoo your carpets every time you drip something?

I don’t know how ideal House B is for you either, but…the awful carpets and carpet in the kitchen would be an immediate deal breaker for me…

i could see problems with hooking EVERYTHING up to clappers….

but i really approve of the hardwood floors and lots of counter space.
i also think most girls like rooms with lots of open space and windows. but that’ll depend on each girl’s individual sense of style. so maybe just giving her a clean neat canvas to put her own mark on will be enough…
happy house-hunting!

I do so hope that was helpful!

Oh, btw…did you notice that Fort Awesome is on fire? I hope you can put that out before it gets too serious. Love that mote though…keeping riffraff away is the most important thing. : )

Also, there is a google ad on this post featuring several different types of flooring options, and I find that to be amusing.

@Josh: Ah, it’s all so simple! Why didn’t I think of that before?! Haha.

@Z: Clean…no weird smells…safe neighborhood. Gotcha. Hopefully the “grandma’s house” smell on most of my furniture has faded…

@Audrey: Haha. Thanks for rescuing me!

1. I love hardwood floors (for all the reasons you stated plus more). The place I saw a few days ago had hardwood floors in PART of the house. The place I’m seeing tonight I’m unsure about, but you’d think the lady on the phone would have mentioned it if they DID have them. :-/

2. I’ll be on the lookout for electric outlets! Do girls like vanilla? That’s my favorite air freshener scent.

3. A big amen on counter space. The place I’m checking out tonight was built in 1956, so unless the kitchen has been updated I’m not holding out much hope for lots of counter space. *fingers crossed*

4. Haha. A discount, eh? I like the sound of that.

@Kevin: That is an AWESOME idea! Gosh, I’d have to beat the women off with a stick if I did that. (I’d have “the stick” also hooked up to a clapper, of course.)

@Kathy: So you’re saying I could have the greatest place on earth, but if I’m lax when it comes to cleaning up crumbs or spills I make it will all be for naught? Interesting. I will take your suggestion under advisement.

There. Easy.