i have been feeling like i am simply hovering from one pile to another lately like a hummingbird from flower to flower. starting one thing for 30 seconds and then zipping to something else leaving both unfinished and sprawled all over the place. and then my frustrations mount. but today i got several little reminders from the universe. first of all, a friend sent me an email and gently reminded me to give myself a break and remember 'we can only do what we can do.' (thx andie!) and then when i finally got out for a run today and hit the wrong playlist, realizing it was an interval set, rather than focusing on the fact that i am not where i'd like to be right now with my runs/training - i'd just go with it. start from where i am, build up slowly. at first i resisted, but as i emptied my mind a bit and took the time to listen to that little voice in my heart that whispers truth - and just ran - i 'got' the bigger picture on oh so many levels. my friend's email spoke to me once more. the house is a mess right now, the laundry never seems to dwindle these days, kai's room is piled high on his carpet, there are piles of 'little projects' all over my desk at home and at work. but then a sweet student of mine unexpectedly slipped me this note as she ran out of my room today.

amidst my busyness these past few days, my mind has focused on a simple fact - one that forever changed my life. eighteen years ago this month, my father passed. just like that. and i now have lived without him for as many years as i lived with him. in some ways - glimpses now -the hole his leaving left still feels fresh, raw, and deeply empty; but more so, it feels like an ache that happened a lifetime ago to a girl that i remember. it's not true what they say to you in moments of grief. time does not heal all wounds. but time does offer perspective and that is a subtle gift, if not a comfort. for i am able to acknowledge and feel grateful for the incredible gift of strength that became uncovered through such a personal loss. our journeys are always winding, and whether we know it or not, discover it yet or not, believe it or not...strength (with the force of a thousand armies) lies deep within us - simply waiting.

yesterday, i noticed a beautiful simple rock wrapped with ribbons of white. it seemed to whisper to me from the grass below my feet.

' i am like your heart - broken but bandaged - solid and strong, perhaps a bit fractured but bound together with the strength of time and tenderly polished by the memories of love.' ~ssperl

for my dad...my heart is always with you.

**thought i'd share one of his favorite tunes**

this weekend, we soaked up some much needed time with friends. living overseas, i have found that we have forged friendships that are the kind that create a sense of family. they are the friendships that become extended family - inspiring you deeply, supporting you gently, and lifting you fully. they are gifts, and i am grateful.

(photo by wyatt)

so remember last month, i mentioned participating in this challenge? our first small change was to reduce our dependency on those disposable cleaning wipes. i must say we met this challenge. while we have not eliminated completely, we have reduced our usage considerably. every mess i was met with last month presented me with the choice wipe or rag? and i am pleased to report i chose rag each time! i thought this might create more of a laundry heap than i already battle around here but it really didn't.

this month my goal is to attack the sandwich bags!! we already wash and reuse them several times but i want to go further than that. so i have been checking out some eco-options and this is what i have come up with so far. i hope to order us a set along with these wonderful utensils for packed lunches. here's to another small change...

Food Kozy

Waste Not Saks

Snack Taxi

 

it has been a long and stressful winter - we are still fighting germs around here lately and are just hoping for the day when we are all functioning at 100% healthy! in the meantime, i have been trying to focus on finishing things on my creative plate. i am working a lot with portraits from misty's class and love that its pulling me way out of some comfort zones. hopefully, i will finish some work and post here soon. i also finished this canvas this weekend with the intent simply to bring more color into our house.