Nsfw Lucy Pinder. That’s all I’m going to say.

She has awwwwwwwwwesome boobies.

Ok. I’m done now.

What the fuck is this now!? It seems that there’s a serious senior faction within the Church of England (that’s Anglicans to the rest of us) who are conspiring to hook up again with the Roman Catholic Church – 500 years after the initial split between Pope Clement VII and Henry VIII that ignited a shitfire which has raged ever since. Particularly so in places like Northern Ireland.

This is fucking spectacular! And a big thrust behind the initiaive is tied up with the possible ordination of female Anglican bishops.

Clergy on the “high church” wing of Anglicanism, known for their use of more elaborate ritual in services, are alarmed that the Church of England’s historic role in uniting Catholic and Protestant in the same Church may now be in jeopardy.

Father Geoffrey Kirk, one of the leaders of Forward in Faith, said: “It will be my intention whatever happens to become a Roman Catholic.

“I am close to retirement, and I may well choose to defer my retirement in order to see that my parish transfers itself to the Roman jurisdiction, as well as myself.”

I think in this day and age this was inexcusable that Rome decided to do this without consultation

As the dispute in the CoE about women bishops has intensified, many “Anglo-Catholics” have warned they will transfer to the Roman Catholic Church unless they are given guaranteed access to male alternatives.

So much for divorce, female clergy, clerical celibacy and marriage, contraception, kiddyfiddling and transubstantiation. Let’s not fool ourselves – these are serious differences. None more so than the literal valmorification of Provita into messiah tartare which the Anglicans wisely (in the loosest sense possible) choose to ignore.

Utter bollocks. If ever there was a more glaring reminder that this whole con is man-made (I’ll ignore the countless other glaring reminders we deal with every day), surely this must be it?

If you disagree, you’re basically just a [click].

I figure this has got to be the biggest rebound in dating history. I wonder what late-night drunken text triggered it all?

More here from the New York Times.

I learnt a new word today: cuntslot. I like it. A lot.

You guys are a bunch of cuntslots.

End.

(Thanks to The Scott, the biggest cuntslot of all, for sending me this link. It’s also used in this romantic e-novella.)

This “bootlegged” (read: shit quality) trailer for James Cameron’s budget-busting 3-D CGI extravaganza has hit the internet. If you squint just right, you’ll get a pretty good idea of what “Avatar” is all about: Lieutenant Dan and a bunch of man-sized Smurfs hanging around on floating islands.

If you’re like me and get hard talking about movie financial stats, “Avatar” will make your dick explode: it will probably end up being the most expensive flick ever made, with a budget topping $300m.

I’m fully engorged right now.

Charlize just gets cooler and cooler by the day. She swears, smokes pot, gets naked often enough and has a wicked sense of humour. She’s like a rad dude, only seriously hot and with awesome tits. If she was a guy, I’d totally go gay for her.

And she, it seems, has no problem with going a little gay herself every now and then. She landed a smacker on the dyke above during a OneXOne charity auction in San Francisco. I’d buy that for a dollar!

She raised the stakes when bidding stalled at $37,000, far below the $280,000 Jeremy Piven had just raised.

“For fuck’s sake! You can do better,” she tells attendees. “There is no way I am leaving here with Jeremy Piven getting a higher bid. I’ve got tit’s for God’s sake.”

To sweeten the pot, she offered up a 7-second kiss for $130,000 to a male bidder. “Swine flu is going around. This is high risk kissing!” she told him.

After one man bid $135,000, a woman upped the stakes to $140,000 — ascending the stage for a 20-second smooch as the audience counted down.

(US Weekly)

See? Some good has come out of Benoni. Are there any other little surprises hiding out there in the East Rand? Based on the last rounds I did at Presley’s, Due East and some of the other turbokak boeretekno clubs in the vicinity, I have to say that the needle on my Probability Meter doesn’t seem to have moved far from zero.

Did somebody ask for some snaps of Saffa model Candice Swanepoel flashing her tuchus on the beach? You didn’t!? Well then who did?

Who the fuck cares. Here she is. Lovely bottom. Beautiful tailpiece.

Update: It seems that this might be Marisa Miller’s shabooty. Doesn’t change the way I feel about it.

Yes, yes…we’ve seen them before. Last week. Fine. But they’re nice, so I wanted to see them again. And ta-daaa – here’s more of Eva Amurri’s tits in Californication (nsfw).

Check out the previous post here.

Well, not so much a sermon, but a pitch for one of the most ingenious businesses ever!

Eternal Earth-Bound Pets: “The next best thing to pet salvation in a Post Rapture World”!

Cottoning on yet? Brilliant, isn’t it?

You’ve committed your life to Jesus. You know you’re saved. But when the Rapture comes what’s to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.

We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you’ve received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.

Wow! A cushy life on earth for Bowser while you’re tripping the light fantastic in the celestial chorusline? Gimme some of that! How much will it set me back?

Our service is plain and simple; our fee structure is reasonable.
For $110.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved. Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $15.00 fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged and feathered friends.

$110!? Peanuts, I tell you! Peanuts!

I would love to know how much these guys are actually making out of this.

Sadly, I doubt that any Eternal Earth-Bound Pet will survive the Velocirapture when it comes.

I’ve been feeling particularly in love with Amber Heard after seeing Zombieland (watch this space) a few days ago. Which is why I was so happy to find these pictures of her in the UK’s FHM November issue.

If I could only get just one shot to let her see what a great guy I am, I know she would love me back. I know it.

Course, after finding this nasty little clip of Amber prancing around topless (nsfw) and being groped by some pimply, sweaty little shitheads in the Brett Easton Ellis-penned The Informers, I’m having my doubts.

She makes me feel dirty inside. And, to be honest, she broke my heart a little.

And by the way, Amber: that music video on the tv totally sucks too.