Splice Here

test

2009-12-08T11:54:00.000-05:00

this is an example of Mail2Blogger in that one may write an email literally to the blog and it becomes published on the blog as an entry.

Edward Kennedy, R.I.P.

2009-08-29T12:13:00.006-04:00

Senator Ted Kennedy died this week. I didn't know a lot about him - I didn't have to. All I needed to know is that he was the brother of JFK and Robert Kennedy to know he must have been a great man, because good genes begat good genes, or something like that, or something much more eloquent than that as eulogy here for a great man.

Edward Moore "Ted" Kennedy
February 22, 1932 – August 25, 2009
Rest In Peace

-k

comments

2009-08-19T04:51:00.001-04:00

Sometimes it irritates the heck out of me to see posts with actual, real-world comments from actual, real-life people.

Just saying. I know people occasionally read this blog.

-k

George Sodini's blog, copied

2009-08-05T20:59:00.004-04:00

WARNING!! This post contains graphic content and profanity.

George Sodini
Age 48.
DOB 9/30/1960
DOD 8/4/2009
5-10, 155 lbs.
Never married.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania USA

Why do this?? To young girls? Just read below. I kept a running log
that includes my thoughts and actions, after I saw this project was
going to drag on.

November 5, 2008:
Planned to
do this in the summer but figure to stick around to see the election
outcome. This particular one got so much attention and I was just
curious. Not like I give a flying fcuk who won, since this exit plan
was already planned. Good luck to Obama! He will be successful. The
liberal media LOVES him. Amerika has chosen The Black Man. Good! In
light of this I got ideas outside of Obama's plans for the economy and
such. Here it is: Every black man should get a young white girl hoe to
hone up on. Kinda a reverse indentured servitude thing. Long ago, many
a older white male landowner had a young Negro wench girl for his
desires. Bout' time tables are turned on that shit. Besides, dem young
white hoez dig da bruthrs! LOL. More so than they dig the white dudes!
Every daddy know when he sends his little girl to college, she be
bangin a bruthr real good. I saw it. "Not my little girl", daddy says!
(Yeah right!!) Black dudes have thier choice of best white hoez. You do
the math, there are enough young white so all the brothers can each
have one for 3 or 6 months or so.

December 22, 2008:

Time is moving along. Planned to have this done already. I will just
keep a running log here as time passes. Many of the young girls here
look so beautiful as to not be human, very edible. After joining this
gym, started lifting weights and like it. Much info about weight
programs, diet etc on the web. Or anything for that matter. Instead of
TV I can Google for hours to relax. TV and most movies are dull.

December 24, 2008:

Moving into Christmas again. No girlfriend since 1984, last Christmas
with Pam was in 1983. Who knows why. I am not ugly or too weird. No sex
since July 1990 either (I was 29). No shit! Over eighteen years ago.
And did it maybe only 50-75 times in my life. Getting to think that a
woman now would just, uh, get in the way of things. Isolated. I have
extra money and enjoy traveling, too, wtih my 25-30 days of vacation.
LA was the best! But going alone is not too fun. Invited to a party on
Christmas day tomorrow. Seems about 15-25 people will actually show. I
like her parties; I can meet new people and talk. Got the next 8 days
off. I should have exit plan done and practiced by then. I know nothing
will change, no matter how hard I try or what goals I set.

December 28, 2008:

Glad I stayed around. All these days off are great. I will shoot for
Tuesday, January 6, 2009, at maybe 8:15. I have list of to-do items to
make.

December 29, 2008:
Just got back from
tanning, been doing this for a while. No gym today, my elbow is sore
again. I actually look good. I dress good, am clean-shaven, bathe,
touch of cologne - yet 30 million women rejected me - over an 18 or
25-year period. That is how I see it. Thirty million is my rough
guesstimate of how many desirable single women there are. A man needs a
woman for confidence. He gets a boost on the job, career, with other
men, and everywhere else when he knows inside he has someone to spend
the night with and who is also a friend. This type of life I see is a
closed world with me specifically and totally excluded. Every other guy
does this successfully to a degree. Flying solo for many years is a
destroyer. Yet many people say I am easy to get along with, etc.
Looking back, I owe nothing to desirable females who ask for anything,
except for basic courtesy - usually. Looking back over everything, what
bothers me most is the inability to work towards whatever change I
choose.

December 30, 2008:
While driving I radio
surfed to a talk show. The caller was a 30ish black man who was
describing the despair in certain black communities. According to him,
life is cheap there because you are going to die anyway when you get
old. It is the quality of life that is important, he said. If you know
the past 40 years were crappy, why live another 30 crappy years then
die? His point was they engage in dangerous behavior which tends to
shorten the lifespans, to die now and avoid the next 30 crappy years,
using my example. The host got sarcastic and ended the call instead of
trying understanding his point. Agreement wasn't necesary. I put music
back on. But it was an interesting, and useful point for me to hear.

December 31, 2008:

My anger and rage is largely gone since I began lifting weights.
Lifting drains me but I still have energy. Somebody else suggested
running but that did not help me. I guess strenuous exercise is
necesary for a man. So I just learned that now at 48. Maybe 30 years
later than I would have liked. My dad never (not once) talked to me or
asked about my life's details and tell me what he knew. He was just a
useless sperm doner. Don't know why, find it fun talking to young kids
when I visit someone. Brother was actually counter-productive and would
try to embarase me or discourage my efferts when persuing things, esp
girls early on (teen years). Useless bully. Result is I am learning
basics by trial and error in my 40s, followed by discuragement. Seems
odd, but thats true. Writing all this is helping me justify my plan and
to see the futility of continuing. Too embarassed to tell anyone this,
at almost 50 one is expected to just know these things.
I hope it doesn't snow on Tuesday. Just thought of that. The crowd will be thin so I would postpone. Shit!

Now that I am on the topic of family and people I know, I might as well
make a summary of sorts to show where things stand. This is New Years
Eve I have time, no date tonight of course, so:

Honorable mention:

Tetelestai Church in Pittsburgh, PA
- "Be Ye Holy, even as I have been Ye holy! Thus saith the lord thy
God!", as pastor Rick Knapp would proclaim. Holy shit, religion is a
waste. But this guy teaches (and convinced me) you can commit mass
murder then still go to heaven. Ask him. Call him at (724) 325-2655. If
no answer there, he should still live at 439 9th Street, Oakmont, PA
15139. In any case, guilt and fear kept me there 13 long years until
Nov 2006. I think his crap did the most damage. Their web site:
http://www.tetelestai.org.

Mum - The Central Boss.
717 Highview Road, Pgh PA 15234. Don't piss her off or she will be mad
and vindictive for years. She actually thinks she's normal. Very
dominant. Her way and only her way with no flexibility toward everyone
in the household. A power and control thing. People outside the
immediate family like her. Why are people vicious with their closest
ones? She is the Boss above all other Bosses.

Michael Sodini
- A Boss, my brother (Mike Sodini) 216 Horseshoe Dr, Mars PA - Always
the big bully, twice the size of most others. When he bullied or
harassed someone, it was the other person who "deserved it". It was
always about him. Way to self absorbed, too. Still is. Used to like to
embarrass guys in front of their girlfriends. Lots of other shit. Kind
of guy you actually loved to hate. The biggest, most self-centered
jagoff I know. He took those bullying "skills" into the business world
and is doing good financially. He is a big wheel only in his mind. Most
people can see thru all his manipulation. He calls only when he wants
something.

Sherry - sister - More of a victim than
anything. Copes by exercising much control over her adult children. We
used to be close until her control of L & D caused a conflict.
Never the same after.

David - neph, sis's son (girlfriend Mallory Squires). Good young guy, though.

Lisa - niece, sis's daught. Attractive, smart, emotional - all good YW qualities.

Idiots:

Andy Pulkowski
- I have been in barrooms and church groups. The worst people by far
are the religious types. Especially a right-wing, stiff-faced fundie
like Andy. A condescending, demeaning, passive-aggresive person.
Frigid, rigid, linear and totally inflexible. Being a very serious
person, he cannot hide his frown-lined face. He better not try to
smile; lest his face might crack. I knew children of parents who grew
up in strict religious homes. Religion has a certain stink to it of
guilt, shame, fear, and that moral standard that always contradicts the
natural tendencies and desires of a person. Therin lies the conflict.
Young person cannot experiment with things to decide on their own and
establish their own parameters. So they tend to cut loose and really
rebel much worse than the average young person. Ma and Pa never know
what goes on. They easily BS their parents because they want to believe
their little one is an angel. Andy has a young daughter Bethany
Pulkowski away at college, High Point University. I saw her picture on
his desk. She's your basic, attractive, young girl. Please reread my
entry made on Nov 5th. That's only one thing she can do. You Andy types
out there need to further strengthen your strict resolve and do more of
the same thing! Because those girls were great when I recall my college
years! She is someone's (or many guy's) little hoe now, I am sure.

Another point about andy. How can someone be cold, vicious, sarcastic
and generally nasty ALL THE TIME and then make the claim about their
church life and how good they are? Total hypocritical idiots.

That's all for now. That felt good.

Let's continue...

January 5, 2009:

Was at the gym to lift. Very crowded. Tomorrow should be good. There is
a woman there that gives me a certain look every time I am there. I
decided to walk over and make a comment about the crowds but she left
when I finished the exercise. Better that I do not get sidetracked from
tomorrow's plan anyways. Life is just playing games. One or two dates
with her, then the end. No matter how many changes I try to make,
things stay the same. Every evening I am alone, and then go to bed
alone. Young women were brutal when I was younger, now they aren't as
much, probably because they just see me just as another old man.
I
see twenty something couples everywhere. I see a twenty something guy
with a nice twentyish young women. I think those years slipped right by
for me. Why should I continue another 20+ years alone? I will just
work, come home, eat, maybe do something, then go to bed (alone) for
the next day of the same thing. This is the Auschwitz Syndrome, to be
in serious pain so long one thinks it is normal. I cannot wait for
tomorrow!

January 6, 2009:
I can do this. Leaving
work today, I felt like a zombie - just going thru the motions. Get on
the bus, get the car, drive home.....My mind is screwed up anymore, I
can't concentrate at work or think at all.
This log is not detailed. It is only for confidence to do this. The future holds even less than what I have today.

It is 6:40pm, about hour and a half to go. God have mercy. I wish life
could be better for all and the crazy world can somehow run smoother. I
wish I had answers. Bye.

It is 8:45PM: I chickened out! Shit! I brought the loaded guns, everything. Hell!

April 24, 2009:

Early last month, we had our second general layoff. I survived. First
one was in November. When I began 10 years ago, that used to be a nice
place to work. I understand the need to reduce staff when times sour,
but this is out of proportion to the economic problems at this time.
The economy is shrinking by about 4-5%. They decided not to pay
Christmas bonus - for staff that amounts to about 8% of yearly pay.
Well, OK. Plus no yearly "merit" raise, another 3.5%. That totals to
about 11% cut. Plus two layoffs of 5% staff in each case. Do the math.
I know this firm is using this downturn as an excuse to take advanage
of a bad situation and kill jobs UNNECESSARILY. The second layoff
people who actually did work were let go. We all need to pick up the
slack so the company can cut beyond what is necesary. Wasn't going to
mention it, because of all this shit, it is K&L Gates, the large
law firm headquartered here in Pittsburgh. Just call it K&L Gates
Corporation. Most people there are OK and I would never have a shoot
'em up there. They paid me for 10 years, so far!

I predict I
won't survive the next layoff. That is when there is no point to
continue. RIght now, life is bearable and I can get by indefinitely.
Something bad must happen. The paycheck is all I have left. The future
holds nothing for me. Twenty five years of nothing fun. I never even
spent one weekend with a girl in my life, even at my own place. Also
unlikely to find another similar job. I guess then is when I take care
of things. I don't have kids, close friends or anything. Just me here.
If you have nothing, you have nothing to lose.

I enjoy writing
these entries, I have no plans to go back and edit or even read most
stuff already written. If you get bored, just click that "x" at the
top, right corner of your browser. Bye.

May 4, 2009:

I was so eager to do this last year. The big problem on my mind now is
that my job will end soon. One project is being transistioned to
another. The other one I am solely responsible, but is being fast
tracked to production. I estimate maybe a month. I am not ready for the
job market. I am ok what I do, a .NET software developer. Not at the
top of the class, but I do a good job. I survived two general layoffs
and other little layoffs they are having but keeping quiet about. I
hear things.

The problem is I feel too good now to do this but
too bad to enjoy life. I know I will never enjoy life. This is an over
30 year trend. Some people are happy, some are miserable. It is
difficult to live almost continuously feeling an undercurrent of fear,
worry, discontentment and helplessness. I can talk and joke around and
sound happy but under it all is something different that seems
unchangable and a permanent part of my being. I need to realize the
details of what I never accomplished in life and to be convinced the
future is merely a continuation of the past - WHICH IT ALWAYS has been.
I am making a list of items that will provide motivation to do the exit
plan, it won't be published. I always had hope that maybe things will
improve especially if I make big attempts to change my life. I made
many big changes in the past two years but everything is still the
same. Life is over. Even though I look good, dress well, well groomed -
nails, teeth, hair, etc. Who knows.

What is it like to be
dead? I always think I am forgetting something, that's one reason I
postponed. Similar to when you leave to get in your car to go somewhere
- you hesitate with a thought: "what am I forgetting?". In this case, I
cannot make a return trip!

I like to write and talk. Ironic
because I haven't met anybody recently (past 30 years) who I want to be
close friends with OR who want to be close friends with me. I was
always open to suggestions to what I am doing wrong, no brother or
father (mine are useless) or close friend to nudge me and give it
bluntly yet tactfully wtf I am doing wrong. A personal coach or someone
who knows what he is doing would be perfect. Money is highly secondary
for a solution.

May 5, 2009:
To pull the exit plan
off, it popped into my mind to just use some booze. I want to do this
before I get laid off, for reasons not worth mentioning but don't seem
to have the balls. After the gym, I stopped at Shop N Save and got a
fifth of vodka and a small bottle of Jack Daniels. I haven't had a
drink since September 1, 1988, just over 20 years. It doesn't matter
now, I need to use it to take the edge off of carrying out the exit
plan. I will be taking some every now and then to get used to it and
see if the alcohol effects will embolden me. Weed would be fun to try
again. I don't know who has any. Life is over, who cares? I just need
to use common sense, can't drink and drive, etc. This idea just hit me
at a point in time and I immediately acted on it. Same thing happened
when I decided to go back to Pitt full time, first day was Monday, May
8, 1989, and to buy the house that closed on Friday, September 30,
1996, to name two examples I remember so well.

The list idea
yesterday is working. I carry it in my wallet and add to it. I am
feeling to good to do carry this out, but too bad to enjoy ANYTHING. My
life's dilema.

May 6, 2009:
I started the JD. About one ounce with some tea to get me started. No big deal.

May 7, 2009:

Went to the gym and did mostly cardio. My heart rate was 117 just from
walking on the treadmill at 3.4. This should be done a few times a week
for maybe 15 mins or so to keep the heart active. I sprinted a few
times to push the limits.

May 18, 2009:
I actually
had a date today. It was with a woman I met on the bus in March. We got
together at Two PPG Place for lunch. The last date for me was May 1,
2008. Women just don't like me. There are 30 million desirable women in
the US (my estimate) and I cannot find one. Not one of them finds me
attractive. I am looking at The List I made from my May 4th idea. I
forgot about that for several days. That tells me where I stand. These
problems have gotten worse over a 30 year period. I need to expect
nothing from me or other people. All through the years I thought we had
the ability to change ourselves - I guess that is incorrect. Looking at
The List makes me realize how TOTALLY ALONE, a deeper word is ISOLATED,
I am from all else.
I no longer have any expectations of myself.
I have no options because I cannot work toward and achieve even the
smallest goals. That is, ABOVE ALL, what bothers me the most. Not to be
able to work towards what I want in my life. I believe I am deserve
that. I read recently it is called "self efficacy", but who knows. Is
that more psychobable?

May 25, 2009:
I was invited
to a picnic, and I went. An older woman there, out of the blue, asked
if I liked high school. Then quickly asked if I was picked on very
much. Intersting why she would ask that. But, thanks, I already know
what the problem is, but a solution eludes me.

May 29, 2009:
Another lonely Friday night, I'm done. This is too much.

June 2, 2009:

Some people I was talking with believed I date a lot and get around
with women. They think this because I showed an email I got from a hot
woman to the department gossip, but it didn't work out. All this is
funny. Actually, I haven't had sex since I was 29 years old, 19 years
ago. That's true.

June 5, 2009:
I was reading
several posts on different forums and it seems many teenage girls have
sex frequently. One 16 year old does it usually three times a day with
her boyfriend. So, err, after a month of that, this little hoe has had
more sex than ME in my LIFE, and I am 48. One more reason. Thanks for
nada, bitches! Bye.

July 4, 2009:
Wow, already late
evening. I stayed in all day. Can't believe there was NOTHING to do
today. No parties or picnics. WTF. No need to leave now.

July 20, 2009:

Been a long time since last write. Everything still sucks. But I got a
promotion and a raise, even in this shitty Obama ecomomy. No more grunt
programming. Go figure! New boss is great. He tactfully says when you
did something wrong or complements on good things. Never confused with
him. But that is NOT what I want in life. I guess some of us were
simply meant to walk a lonely path. I have slept alone for over 20
years. Last time I slept all night with a girlfriend it was 1982.
Proof I am a total malfunction. Girls and women don't even give me a
second look ANYWHERE. There is something BLATANTLY wrong with me that
NO goddam person will tell me what it is. Every person just wants to be
fucking nice and say nice things to me. Flattery. Oh yeah, I am sure
you can get a date anytime. You look good, etc. Pussies.
Awwww,
wait. I can just start being self-righteous and say I live a good,
clean life. I am holy, that's all Rick Knapp stuff. Hear that you
mother fucker: I Am Just Good!

July 23, 2009:

Wow!!

I just looked out my front window and saw a beautiful college-age girl
leave Bob Fox's house, across the street. I guess he got a good lay
today. College girls are hoez. I masturbate. Frequently. He is about 45
years old. She was a long haired, hot little hottie with a beautiful
bod. I masturbate. Frequently. Some were simply meant to walk a lonely
path in life. I don't usually look out, but just happened to notice.
Holy fuck. I have masturbated since age 13. Thanks, mum and brother (by
blood alone). And dad, old man, for TOTALLY ignoring me through the
years. All of you DEEPLY helped me be this way.

I wish I can
go back to 1975 and fix things. Awe, that wont work, big BULLY BROTHER
would assert his bull shit. He was twice my size. He never messed with
guys bigger than 5'10, or so. He is a PUSSY at heart. Remember, Michael
is my brother (we have common parents, that's all) is still a BOSS.
Repetition only for emphasis: HE IS ONLY A BULLY, even at 50ish! Never
forget that! Because he exudes confidence. People believe bull shit if
delivered WITH CONFIDENCE. Get it??

On the same thought,
things occured to me today. Michael NEVER had an attractive girlfriend.
Debbie, Barb, Kim, ... then I lost track. Not to say I had any (execpt
Pam, who was about a 7.25). He married a Chinese-descent, petite woman
with no body, no ass, no chest and no personality. She never laughs or
smiles, neither does he. But she is highly intelligent and an excellent
cook. I can testify to that! She home bakes her own DELICIOUS wheat
bread! But who cares about that type of small bull crap? Mike even
mentioned when we were visiting dad that "she's not very attractive".

I don't know where I am going with this. I am getting tired, feels good to write and get it all out.

On still another thought, I had 20+ years of sobriety and achieved
nothing about friendships, girlfriends, guys, etc. Zilch. What a waste.

Bye, for today.

August 2, 2009:

The biggest problem of all is not having relationships or friends, but
not being able to achieve and acquire what I desire in those or many
other areas. Everthing stays the same regardless of the effert I put
in. If I had control over my life then I would be happier. But for
about the past 30 years, I have not

August 3, 2009:

I took off today, Monday, and tomorrow to practice my routine and make
sure it is well polished. I need to work out every detail, there is
only one shot. Also I need to be completely immersed into something
before I can be successful. I haven't had a drink since Friday at about
2:30. Total effort needed. Tomorrow is the big day.

Unfortunately I talked to my neighbor today, who is very positive and
upbeat. I need to remain focused and absorbed COMPLETELY. Last time I
tried this, in January, I chickened out. Lets see how this new approach
works.

Maybe soon, I will see God and Jesus. At least that is
what I was told. Eternal life does NOT depend on works. If it did, we
will all be in hell. Christ paid for EVERY sin, so how can I or you be
judged BY GOD for a sin when the penalty was ALREADY paid. People judge
but that does not matter. I was reading the Bible and The Integrity of
God beginning yesterday, because soon I will see them.

I will try not to add anymore entries because this computer clicking distracts me.

Also, any of the "Practice Papers" left on my coffee table I used or
the notes in my gym bag can be published freely. I will not be
embarased, because, well, I will be dead. Some people like to study
that stuff. Maybe all this will shed insight on why some people just
cannot make things happen in their life, which can potentially benefit
others.

Miscellaneous:

1. Probably 99% of the people who know me well don't even think I was
this crazy. Told by at least 100 girls/women over the years I was a
"nice guy". Not kidding.

2. Lee Ann Valdiserri had my baby
in early 1991. Haven't seen her since she was about four months into
it. I knew her sister, Chris, from high school.

3. Net worth slightly more than $250K, (after all debt) as of end of 2008.

4. Death Lives!

© 2009 George Sodini
This should not be taken off the web. It is obviously my view and opinion.
Reproduce this as you wish, in its entirity.
**Copy this to usenet/newsgroups where my voice will speak forever!**
Don't modify it, you can correct my spelling errors, I used WordPad.
Unless the names are required legally to be blotted out, then fine. Thanks.

Earthlings

2009-07-31T19:43:00.003-04:00

EARTHLINGS is a feature length documentary about humanity's absolute dependence on animals (for pets, food, clothing, entertainment, and scientific research) but also illustrates our complete disrespect for these so-called "non-human providers." The film is narrated by Academy Award nominee Joaquin Phoenix (GLADIATOR) and features music by the critically acclaimed platinum artist Moby .

With an in-depth study into pet stores, puppy mills and animals shelters, as well as factory farms, the leather and fur trades, sports and entertainment industries, and finally the medical and scientific profession, EARTHLINGS uses hidden cameras and never before seen footage to chronicle the day-to-day practices of some of the largest industries in the world, all of which rely entirely on animals for profit. Powerful, informative and thought-provoking, EARTHLINGS is by far the most comprehensive documentary ever produced on the correlation between nature, animals, and human economic interests. There are many worthy animal rights films available, but this one transcends the setting. EARTHLINGS cries to be seen. Highly recommended!

EARTHLINGS has taken five years to produce. What began as a series of Public Service Announcements on spaying and neutering pets, evolved into a feature-length film on every major animal-related issue. Writer/Director Shaun Monson began the process by shooting footage at animal shelters in South Central L.A., Long Beach and North Hollywood. The PSAs were soon completed as his interest moved to other problem areas, like food and scientific research. In time, he accumulated a small library of material from several animal welfare organizations, and started editing. The process was a slow one. As footage gradually came in, Joaquin's narration was recorded (in stages), and a soundtrack was added. Along with all of Moby's music, some original pieces were also written for the film. In 2005, EARTHLINGS premiered at the Artivist Film Festival, (where it won Best Documentary Feature), followed by the Boston International Film Festival, (where it won the Best Content Award), and most recently at the San Diego Film Festival, (where it won Best Documentary Film, as well as the Humanitarian Award to Joaquin Phoenix for his work on the film). EARTHLINGS will be available on DVD on November 4, 2005.

The title of the Earthlings documentary reflects the notion that animals, humans and nature are all equal as earthlings. The word earthlings simply refers to the fact that we all inhabit the same earth. Throughout the documentary, the narration makes the point that there is little difference between racism, sexism or religious persecution and what the film calls speciesism. Speciesism is defined as the belief that we are innately better than the other earthlings we coexist with on the planet simply because we dominate them. The most poignant question that the movie asks is what makes people a superior species to animals. We all exist on the earth together, are all aware of our surroundings, and have all evolved together. Though the other earthlings do not speak our language, they have their own languages. They possess finely tuned natural instincts and senses that humans have lost long ago, and many animal species have inhabited this earth longer than humans have. Humans are not only related to monkeys and chimpanzees, they are related to every other living organism on the earth since we all evolved from the same humble beginnings. As earthlings we should be able to coexist in harmony instead of try to profit off exploiting the weakness of animals.

The Earthlings film points out that as humans, we are using our power to dominate animals as the reason why we can disrespect them as fellow creatures. Instead, humans should treat their power over animals as a responsibility to help protect them when they cannot protect themselves. To watch the Earthlings trailer, download the full length Earthlings movie or purchase the Earthlings DVD, visit the appropriate web page on the left navigation bar. After you have watched the movie, check out the Earthlings forum where you can discuss the movie with other people who have seen it. The forum is full of animal welfare experts who can help answer any questions or clear up confusion you might have after watching the documentary.

Facebook, click here
Twitter, click here

-k

hamburgers, wooga-booga and training

2009-07-05T06:25:00.008-04:00

I ate a hamburger yesterday. This does not mean I'm going to go through the mirror and get my heart eaten-out by the alien who Is trying to slam through the netherworld into this one.

I am realizing with every passing day that in my heart I am and have always been a Christian. If that steps on anyone's toes or whatever, then whatever.

And if the alien netherworld is trying to come and see and conquer, then they are going to have to fight this [and I suspect many other] Christian good-ole-boy for this heart of mine because that's what Christians do: we fight and drill and march and stab and skull-knock until we win or die trying.

But what I think is that it's all wooga-booga. And what a person has to do is just try to make heads or tails of it all and do the best one can do every second of every day. That's the message of every messiah who ever lived, including Jesus of Nazareth. When it's all said and done, mark every bit of it up to Training, hell Jesus even got himself nailed up to a giant "T" to try to tell us the secret of life, which is try and train and try and train and try.

So I'll try to make it through another day. And I will...try.

Here's to trying.

-k

EMI - new website rocks

2009-06-30T09:42:00.005-04:00

EMI.com's new website combines functionality with ergonomic features such as customisable playlists, user accounts, an integrated audio player on every page, and a clean new look that screams "come on in and 'sit a spell'!" Very cool!

Farrah Fawcett passes at 62

2009-06-25T14:15:00.006-04:00

Farrah Fawcett died today. Without writing a lot here, there is a memory of her that was a pivotal point in my childhood, oddly enough.

When I was in probably the first grade, a boy at my school wore a t-shirt with the famous red bathing suit poster of Farrah, and he was sent home because his shirt was deemed 'inappropriate.' I remember seeing him in the shirt in the principal's office and seeing her erect right nipple under the bathing suit. This stands as the time in my life when I immediately became aware that there were not just girls in the world, but women, too, and I liked them.

When I heard today that she succumbed to her long and painful battle with anal cancer, I felt an emotion much like the grief of the loss of a past lover, because maybe that's the way I have always felt about her. She was so beautiful, graceful, classy and, in this writer's opinion, very appropriate with her sexuality, which was paramount to my development as a young man.

Farrah Leni Fawcett
(February 2, 1947 - June 25, 2009)
"Rest In Peace, classy lady"

-k

Jesus is back, and he's p*ssed-off.

2009-06-01T10:56:00.003-04:00

We noticed this morning (-500 GMT) that the worldwide visitor count for this blog is getting higher and higher, and with the passing of the beginning of Spring (and a stint in lock-up for me) we're excited about getting some comments and possibly beginning again on writing that long-procrastinated book.

I also got my lip pierced. A Lebret. Right down the middle. Like me.

Stay Tuned ;)

-k

Overcome Passivity - wikiHow

2009-01-01T02:15:00.000-05:00

How to Overcome Passivity

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

Do you often find yourself wanting to do something, but never having the courage to just do it? Are you tired of feeling too weak to do even the most basic things? Does it seem that something always stops you from doing what you want, or you're always waiting for someone or something to give you a "push" before you act? Being too passive might be preventing you from taking life in the direction you'd like to see it go. Here are some ways to overcome passivity and make your own way in the world.

Steps

Understand why you tend to act passive. Passivity has various causes: lack of willpower, lack of hope, lack of encouragement from other people, negativism, laziness, lack of necessary means. Think about the way you tend to act when you're about to do something. If there's something that stops you from performing that action, think about the first thought that comes to your mind. Notice the subtle differences between these causes. Beware; sometimes these causes are combined. The more situations you find yourself in, the harder it is for you to do something.
- If you think "I know I can't do it, so there's no point in trying in the first place", then you lack willpower. You just can't gather enough will to do it, even if you're actually able to do that thing.
- If you think "It doesn't work. It never does; it probably won't work now either", you lack hope. You think that just because you couldn't do something in the past, you can't do it in the present either, forgetting that you've gathered more experience by now and that you can't predict whether something works or doesn't work; you're the one that makes it happen.
- If you think "I can't do it by myself, and there's nobody there to support me", then you don't receive enough encouragement from other people. You feel you're not able to do something without getting help from others.
- If you think "It won't end up well. I'd rather not change anything than risk an even worse result", then you are being negative. You build up scenarios in your head, convincing yourself that if something bad can happen, it surely will. You always think that no matter how good an action is in itself, the consequences are always bad.
- If you think "I can't do it because doing that thing requires having something that I don't have", you lack the necessary means to do it. It can be an objective point of view... or not. Some people truly lack the means to do something, but others just aren't willing to work to achieve it. And here we go to the next reason...
- If you think "It requires too much effort... and for what? It's not worth all the effort. Things will turn out well anyway", you are just too lazy to do it! You strongly believe in destiny and think that, if something is meant to happen, it will; regardless of what you do to achieve it.
Gain willpower. Willpower is that ability to control your thoughts and actions in order to achieve what you want to do; in other words, the ability to go for your dreams and do what you really want to. You can gain it by following your impulses and being spontaneous. Willpower is an ability you gain only by practicing; the more you practice it, the more you enjoy it and find reasons to practice it further.
- Choose "Now or Never" as your motto from now on. Convince yourself to do something right when it occurs to you, and imagine that otherwise something bad will happen. It's very effective in gaining more courage to do things.
- Start by achieving short term goals, like convincing yourself to do the laundry today and not waiting until tomorrow or studying for 15 minutes for an important test. After you'll be able to accomplish these little things, you can move on to something bigger, like moving to a place you've always dreamed to live in, or losing those 20 pounds that keep you from having the body you want, or whatever big dreams you may have.
Gain hope. Stop convincing yourself you can't do something before trying; you can never know how things will turn out. Try some little, but very useful mental exercises: when you know there are high chances that something will happen, wish for it. When it does happen, you'll feel better just for knowing that you were right. It may sound stupid, but it's very useful in gaining more hope. Practice this often; it increases your expectations that something will happen, and therefore improves your hope.
Get motivated. You have willpower, you have hope- now all you need is a reason to do something. Think about your greatest wishes and picture having them fulfilled. Set some goals you want to achieve, and focus on achieving them. Constantly aiming somewhere sustains your motivation.
- Set some reasonable goals and some rewards and auto-punishments for them too. Reward yourself if you eventually accomplish the goal, and "punish" yourself if you don't. Set a time limit if you must. For example, if you finish your homework before 18:00, you reward yourself with a chocolate bar, and if you don't, no TV for you this evening. This makes you feel more motivated to achieve your goal, whether it's due to thinking about the delight of the reward or the fear of punishment.
Ask for help if you need to. Sometimes it feels better just to have somebody who understands and supports you, and you feel like you could do more. There must be someone that's close to you and you can trust; speak to them about your wishes and expectations and tell them you want them there for you. Even if the person can't do much to help you, just knowing you're not alone makes you feel better. Tell them what kind of support you need, if you have to; some people won't understand that just because you talk to them about something you want actual, not just moral support from them.
Be more positive. Stop worrying so much about everything and thinking that things won't end up well. Unless the whole Universe is conspiring against you (and it isn't), positive actions will more often than not have positive results, too. You may not be the luckiest person around, but there are ways to improve your luck.
- Stop living your life according to Murphy's law. Understand the power of the self-fulfilling prophecy. Whether we've resigned ourselves to a bleak future or nurtured a seminal, life-changing belief in our power to fashion a positive future, the odds are overwhelmingly in our favor--meaning we reap what we sow, we can control our futures. The saying 'be careful what you wish for' (or, be careful what you assume) comes in handy here. The human mind wields extraordinary power. The simple fact is that we become what we anticipate. Other than luck and haphazard circumstance, our ability to envision ourselves making good choices, teamed with a willingness to 'pretend' we're committed to reaching useful goals, until the pretense becomes familiar enough to evolve into enthusiastic habit, is a pretty solid recipe for becoming that person we've spent such time and effort convincing ourselves was not a possibility. Luck is nothing to count on or factor into any mix. What IS important? Realizing that people who are better at organizing their lives are better at influencing their fate.
Understand what you need in order to do something, and try to acquire it. Don't shoot for the stars; for example, don't dream about being the best basketball player ever if you're short or making more money than Bill Gates if you're dirt poor. Be realistic in your expectations. If you don't have the means to do something, but they're still achievable, don't hesitate and start working to acquire them.
Get off your butt. That's pretty obvious; being a couch potato won't get you anywhere. Any action requires a minimum effort; even for walking you need to move your legs- nothing can be done without effort. Of course, it's easier to accept everything right as it comes rather than make an effort to influence it. But persisting in this mentality can lead your life in the wrong direction. Don't be surprised if after 10 years you'll end up broke, buried in debts, single/divorced, and having to sell your precious TV to pay the bills- all this because you didn't move a finger to improve your life! Don't leave your whole life in fate's hands; realize that all the people that are renowned for something they had done in their lives didn't have it all from the very beginning- any brilliant politician, for example, had to climb up to the top; they weren't born already elected, you know.
Be confident. You need to believe in yourself in order to achieve what you want. Don't judge yourself too harshly; every human being is good at something. Make a list of all your past achievements. They don't have to be impressive CVs; even a small activity like washing the dishes counts.
Get to know the positive side of change. Change makes our life less boring, allows us to experience new things, makes us understand different lifestyles and different points of view, gets us out of trouble and refreshes us, making us lively and energetic. Once you get to enjoy one major change in your life, you will be tempted to make other changes.
Become more disciplined. If you're disciplined, you have a lower chance of failing to do what you want/have to. If you can't convince yourself to do something, it would be useful for you to be forced to do it by external circumstances.
- Sign up for something. Anything. Knowing that you just have to be somewhere at some hour forces you to become more disciplined in your schedule. Passive people often don't do things right at the time they should be doing them; they usually put them off.
- Ask a member of the household to constantly remind you to do some regular activities. You have to be warned by now; it's very annoying. But that's precisely the point; you'll start doing those things just to avoid being pestered by that person.
- Join the Army (or other armed force) if you think you can handle it. It's the most disciplinary thing anyone can do.
Avoid thinking you can't do something (unless, of course, nobody has ever done it before you and there's no certainty you can do it). Be strong, bold, assertive and persistent in your tries.
Make your life less boring. If you have no life, it's understandable why you act passive; anyone who is so bored with their own life lacks enthusiasm and livelihood. Try spicing up your life a little; get a new social life, go out more often, try a new hobby.

Tips

Find a rival. When there's someone that competes with you in a certain way (for example, someone who does better than you at school/work you might feel more motivated to improve yourself, if you're the competitive type.
Don't waste too much time procrastinating. That will get you nowhere; if you fill your time with activities that don't even matter, you will be much less likely to be able to break this habit (or any other habit, for that matter).
When you hear/read some advice, try following it. Just knowing it won't help; take this article for instance. If you're really passive, you will most likely not follow this. Maybe you've read many other articles on wikiHow that would have been really helpful to you, but not followed the advice.
- Try this: keep track of how much advice you actually follow by writing in a diary. Print the wikiHow article (if this is the source of the advice) or write down the advice and then write down what you have done in that day, related to the topic. Also put down what you didn't do and compare the two lists. Which one is longer? The one with goals you have accomplished or the one with those you haven't?
Make some active, exuberant friends. When you start acting passive, they can be the ones who encourage you to get over yourself and do what you really want to.
Don't act like a little spoiled child who expects everyone else to do things for them. If somebody offers to do something for you, when you could very well do it yourself, politely reject that person and explain to them you don't need help on that. It will keep you from turning this into a habit. Don't rely on other people for things you can do yourself.
Don't analyze a situation too much before acting. Do it right when it occurs to you.
Don't waste time worrying about what or who you think you ought to be -- be who you are! The opposite of passivity is deciding to live your life to the fullest!

Related wikiHows

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Overcome Passivity. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

Maximum volume fun for Star Wars fans

2008-12-19T08:08:00.003-05:00

With the recent release of Star Wars: The Clone Wars to DVD and Blue Ray video, and the fact that we've been re-watching all six Star Wars Episodes, a few certain scenes had been mulling-over and eventually culminated in the production of a Memphis DJ Mix of Rush's classic "Red Barchetta." We've always considered that a potent "driving song" visa vi, rush hour on your Interstate Beltway of choice, so the resulting mp3 (available here) is something we think Star Wars fans might get a real kick listening to in transit. The video was played using the indispensable VideoLAN player, and the resulting audio was recorded, then edited together with the song, using the also extremely versatile Audacity application. Check it out and crank it up. -Kendall

Losing My Razr

2008-08-24T08:22:00.002-04:00

I am losing my cell phone today. I have had an account with AT&T since some time in 2004 when my account was launched with a purchase of a GoPhone, and in November of 2006, the company actually gave me a billed account because of the previous history - definitely not because of a great credit rating on my part. I have been figuratively pulling a rabbit out of a hat every month to pay the bill, and time has finally caught up with my insufficient budgeting with the account as well as with other aspects of my finances. The phone will be turned off sometime today, and I will make arrangements with AT&T tomorrow to pay off the balance over time.

Some of the people in my life who have made a habit in the past of bailing me out when I've gotten myself into predicaments like this, have chosen not to do so this time, to which my initial reaction was anger, irritation and verbal lashing-out. I realize, though, that those people are genuinely interested in my growth as a person some 2.8 years into my new life of freedom from alcohol and all things past-tense. So all of the above is really a good thing.

Some people lose their house. Some people lose their job. Some people don't have either of those to lose. I'm losing a cell phone and gaining things yet unseen which will surely fall into the category of "live and learn."

Thanks to Wayne and Jane.

Thanks for reading.

-Kendall

Multimedia message

2008-08-23T23:24:00.000-04:00

176x220 AT&T wallpaper goes great on Motorola Razr V3 series mobile phone. AT&T has five star customer service and offers a wide selection of phones and plans to fit anyone's mobile needs.

My Life With Stupid - confirmed

2008-08-12T17:03:00.003-04:00

Thanks so much to the nice folks at Blogger.com and Google. Sonny thanks you, too!
-Kendall

My Life With Stupid - brand new blog

2008-08-10T01:03:00.010-04:00

I'm considering writing a book - well technically, Sonny, my new chihuahua, is considering writing a book - with a little assistance from me, "owner-dude" - about life, love, war, politics, hate-crimes, cheese and most anything under the sun that deems itself subject-matter that's in need of a truthful and matter-of-fact viewpoint. We created a blog yesterday to test-out the idea, and the Google robots didn't much like it. We sure do hope the nice folks at Google are understanding and allow us to continue.

Soon, you can [hopefully] find Sonny's blog, "My Life With Stupid" at this Blogger address: http://mylifewithstupid.blogspot.com. Forrest Gump, eat your heart out ;)

-Kendall ("Stupid")

The Passing of "Dolla Bill"

2008-08-09T11:19:00.012-04:00

Bernie Mac has held a special place in my heart and also in my abdomen for years now - in that place that hurts when you can't stop laughing, to the point of tears. His performance in the 1998 film "The Players Club" kept me in stitches, maybe because I've known strip-club managers who fit that exact "Bill," or maybe because he had an amazing knack for making people laugh.

One of my favorite things he said was in his "Kings of Comedy" performance. He declared, "I'm just sayin' what you're thinking but ain't gonna say." I can personally relate to that. He pulled it off (made us laugh) with such class and wit. I loved his arsenal of facial expressions - many of them alone, without any accompanying words, could send me scrambling outside for fresh air or gasping for a few puffs on my breathing machine for laughing so hard and for so long.

He was only fifty years old, which I must admit, doesn't help the impending-doom-type feelings that seem to be rearing their ugly heads the closer I get to birthday number forty this coming December.

It's everyone's loss though; if he had lived a little longer, we all would definitely have laughed a little harder.

Bernard Jeffrey "Bernie Mac" McCullough
October 5, 1957 – August 9, 2008
Rest In Peace

Multimedia message

2008-08-08T15:27:00.000-04:00

Lunch with Dad

Multimedia message

2008-08-06T22:40:00.000-04:00

Down Under, across The Pond and into The Great White North

2008-08-03T14:29:00.019-04:00

Being a self-billed "cosmopolitan redneck" from a small town in Mississippi, USA, I often represent myself to friends and family members as having "a worldwide network of friends." I like to think that one day my ship will figuratively come in and I'll have the means to travel the world as my fantasies would have me become able to do.

So today I am being honest with myself and have come to the conclusion that while technically I do have quite a bit of content available for viewing anywhere on the planet via the Internet, I have a rather small number of friends who actually live outside the U.S. who even possibly know who I am by name.

Kevin Dixie, the administrator and creative genius behind FuelMyBlog.com and his wife, Sylvie Dixie, live somewhere between Paris France and London England - sometimes this is experienced by me as strangely as myself in my studio at home at 3 in the morning my time and Kevin on a train somewhere in Western Europe at 10 in the morning his time - he on his mobile device, hurrying to a business commitment, and I on my trusty notebook pc. Sylvie is a very attractive woman physically and an extraordinarily creative entity, spiritually, posting haunting images and philosophical soliloquies in her blog, "Bagetelles," and pretty much giving me the courtesy of polite silence when I occasionally acknowledge her friendship and its importance to me via her Facebook.

Then there is a person the world knows as "Sanders" whom I met via a friend via an online game in 2006. He is French-Canadian, and I had the pleasure of creating something with Flash 8 to pay homage to some personal friends of his who were wounded by the school shooter in Montreal Quebec so many months ago. I also assisted him via telephone in setting up a wireless router that would then allow he and his romantic partner to be online simultaneously in his apartment. I undoubtedly was more honored at the opportunity than he was assisted by my assistance.

Matt Smith is a fellow Tool enthusiast who calls Adelaide Australia home. His blog, FourthEye.net is a favorite online haunt of mine, as well as serving as an invaluable source of information pertaining to the American hard-rock band, Tool. Matt has one of the band member's Lateralus platinum record plaque hanging somewhere in his home, and he and his wife have a new baby girl born some weeks ago. It's interesting to note that on any occasion I may have had the pleasure to instant-messaged with Matt, in addition to this being achieved through multiple "hops" over the Pacific Ocean, it was also across the International Dateline and so in different calendar days unless between midnight and 6am, my time and 6pm and midnight, his time.

These four people are dear to me, probably much more than they know. I feel a bit guilty at my failure to correspond with them more frequently although I'm not even sure they would welcome that in the least.

So worldwide connoisseur of friendships I may be, it seems this is probably only in my own mind, currently. I am going to make a concerted effort to change this for the better.

-kendall

The Real Possum Kingdom

2008-08-02T15:03:00.007-04:00

I've always liked the song "Possum Kingdom" by the Toadies. Today I found out that Possum Kingdom is a real-life lake community outside the Dallas/Fort Worth area in Texas. The song is basically a hybrid of the singer's childhood memories, being from that area, and fictitious imagery. Very cool song.

So, there's a section of this huge, sprawling lake complex, named "Hell's Gate." It's a strait between an island and part of the shore. If you look at it on Google Earth, you'll notice that people live all around the lake - including neighborhoods past Hell's Gate. Or you might say, on the other side of Hell's Gate. I know it's just a name, but do the people who are figuratively and geographically, literally living in Hell go to church on Sunday?? And what's their conversation like?
"Hey, want to come to our house to eat after church?" "Sure, where do you live." "Oh you know, in Possum Kingdom - just this side of Hell's Gate." "Okay, see you around 12:30?" "Okay, great. See ya then." "Tra-la-la-la-la........(?)"

Plus, the name comes from folklore entailing that there's purportedly some place where there's an old gate - only the two posts remaining - that spies from the Civil War passed through on their way to be hanged on a tree that's still there. According to legend you can still hear the sobs and whispers of those put to Death there.

Creepy. Anyway, in the song where he sings, "...around the lake tonight..." - turns out that's quite a distance. I guess there's plenty of time for nature walks...

...when you live in Hell.

-admin

Randy Pausch - 1960-2008

2008-07-25T20:31:00.006-04:00

I'd sound like a hypocrite if I said Randy Pausch was a personal hero of mine, especially since I'd just re-edited my MySpace profile to include all of the people I could think of who've affected my life in a positive way - and sadly didn't remember him as one of them - when I got the news that he died today.

When I heard his story last fall, then watched the entire "Last Lecture" on the Internet, I was thrilled that someone else finally said what I've always believed: Life is about having fun.

There is an obvious urge to contribute in some small way to people remembering him. During his now-famous Last Lecture, he pulled a Star Trek communicator out of a pocket, then pulled his cell phone out of the other, adding "...and mine is actually smaller." So please right-click here to download and save to your computer, a special ringtone created in honor of him. Transfer it to your cell phone and when it rings and someone remarks how neat it is, transfer it to them and mention his name. Most of all, have fun with it.

Randolph Frederick Pausch
October 23, 1960 – July 25, 2008
Have fun up there!
(and Rest In Peace)

Really Getting It

2008-07-25T00:50:00.004-04:00

I've always been a fan of faith. And being a fan, I've found myself being an open and willing student of religious ideals. There is a component to my personality that's always "interfered" with my being able to align myself to any one religious group. At this point in my journey I'm seeing how for me, that's a good thing.

Over the past few months, without any formal reading on the subject, I am beginning to be starkly aware of the principle behind Buddhism, which is the concept of Zen. Where as Christianity is more people-oriented as Christians are taught "believe in Jesus: he will save you," and "go to church and fellowship with other Christians," Buddha teaches, "believe in yourself, for you alone are your salvation." And I have found that this, for me, results in experiencing some thrilling spiritual moments, with myself being the only person around.

So, in that context, there is the concept that I personally word as, "getting it." As in really seeing the forest and not just the trees. Understanding the true and ultimate nature of all things. The meaning of life.

According to Christianity, getting it is found in the dogma that goes along with being a Christian. And sometimes dogma and attempting to adhere to it can culminate in rebellion and ultimately and sorely not getting it.

"Teacher, does the wind move the tree, or does the tree create the wind?"
"My son, the mind moves the tree."

...or the mountain.

Thanks for reading..

-Kendall

SayNow.com

2008-07-24T06:51:00.001-04:00

http://saynow.com - They were nice enough to give me my own number.
Check it out - it's pretty cool.

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2008-07-24T06:46:00.001-04:00

http://saynow.com
They were nice enough to give me my own number.
Check it out - it's pretty cool.

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This mobile text message is brought to you by AT&T

Beautiful Faces - Ugly Spaces

2008-07-21T09:56:00.003-04:00

Recently, a photo of me in a college yearbook got me a little ego-stroking on my MySpace account, and I've been thinking about that whole concept: being beautiful. Back then, I guess many suitors saw me as a guy with a pretty face. So being where I was with life back then, I played my face to my advantage and dated (and slept with) a fair number of females. But what they didn't "get" was that I wanted much more that that. It is an irony in my life that when the conditions were more favorable for me to attract someone to date, I really was not anyone that a person would want to attempt a long-term relationship with. I was at the beginning of a twenty-year journey in my life that would lead me to the ghetto crack-houses of Memphis, Tennessee and Jackson, Mississippi at the end of it.

In 1988, for reasons that were begat by a relationship with a 39-year-old female when I was 16, I was a client in a long-term, private psychiatric hospital in Asheville, North Carolina. This place was a source of a lot of frustration for me at the time, but in hindsight that has existed for a long time itself, I was taught many invaluable lessons about myself, life in general and psychiatric principles (like dream self-analysis, Jung & Freud, and et cetera) that are so embedded into my daily life I can't imagine what type of person I'd be if all that had not been experienced by me at such an impressionable period of my young life.

So around the summer of that year, I was introduced to a young female client, newly admitted. I do not remember her name and I can only guess that part of why she was there was because of whatever had been going on in her life since her burns occurred. Her entire face was a series of skin grafts. At the time, I saw her as someone to be pitied, and I'm positive she immediately picked up on that about me. (For a very long time it was completely natural for me to project onto others what was going on with me. It's still something I have to consciously not-do.) Actually though, what was probably going on in her head when she was giving me "that look" she always gave me that I always interpreted as she "was sad and lonely," was that she was attracted to that [then albatross-esque] face of mine.

Looking back to those days and to her, I can still see her face clearly. It's odd how there are whole people whom I've completely forgotten, and on the opposite end of that spectrum, there are people like her that I could never forget. Being the proud owner of some beautiful skin grafts myself now for a short time, that's exactly what I think when I remember hers: how extraordinarily beautiful. If you don't own a skin graft, you couldn't know how thankful we are for them. A skin graft is something created by our own marvelous body to re-cover an area that, if not for the graft, would be left exposed to the environment and susceptible to infection. Without my grafts, both my hands would have long-since been amputated.

Anyway, sometimes I wish I remembered her name so I could look her up, and maybe if she's not married, we could go out. I'd kind of like that, I think...

...except my face isn't as pretty anymore. She might not even be interested anymore, if she ever was. Maybe that's just me.

-Kendall