SPORTS AND GRITS

2013 NFL Draft Round 1: Pick by Pick Grades

2013-04-26T00:12:00.000-04:00

WINNERS

- The SEC as they send 12 players in the first round

- Minnesota Vikings as they dominated the draft

- Good teams because they sat and waited for the crappy ones to drop the ball.

1. Kansas City Chiefs: ERIC FISHER OT Central Michigan GRADE: C

Fisher is not a bad player but there is a reason why the Chiefs are picking #1. Looking at a clear cut number 1 player vs. a one hit wonder and the Chiefs took the lesser player. Fisher will have a good career……….as a right tackle. Joeckel will have a HOF career at LT. If Joeckel was not on the board I would have given this pick an A- grade.

2. Jacksonville Jaguars: LUKE JOECKEL OT TEXAS A&M GRADE: A+

Far and away the best OT in this draft and how Kansas City did not know that is beyond me. The Jaguars make the right call for the first time since Tony Boselli. Everyone who is a Jaguar fan in Jacksonville should send Christmas cards to the Chiefs’ front office.

3. Miami Dolphins: DION JORDAN DE OREGON GRADE: F-

It has been a long time since the Raiders have gotten one over on another team but grab them ankles and don’t forget the lube Miami. Too skinny, too injury prone, and too……well too not good enough to be taken this high and at the price it cost them to get there.

4. Philadelphia Eagles: LANE JOHNSON OT OKLAHOMA GRADE: C

Oklahoma players are always way, way, way, waaaaaayyyyyyyy over rated and this cat is no exception. Hey have you heard yet……..Lane Johnson is the most athletic OT in the draft? Yeah, guess what he lacks the strength and technique to be able to deal with even the most average of NFL defensive ends. The Eagles are officially on the clock for Jadeveon Clowney in 2014.

5. Detroit Lions: EZEKIEL ANSAH DE BYU GRADE: F-

2010 was the first time he ever even saw a football field. He has 4 ½ career college sacks. Ansah is the very definition of one hit wonder. This is so bad that you have to wonder if Al Davis’ ghost bought the Lions and re-hired Matt Millen as GM.

6. Cleveland Browns: BARKEVIOUS MINGO DE/OLB LSU GRADE: B+

Now I love KiKi Mingo but Dee Milliner is the better player and after signing Kruger the Browns had a greater need for a corner than for an edge rusher. Too lean and lacking upper body strength to be an impact player on a consistent basis.

7. Arizona Cardinals: JOHNATHAN COOPER OG NORTH CAROLINA GRADE: C-

WHAT THE……………………..Chance Warmack is on the board and you take this guy………….good luck with Carson Palmer and your second rate team out there against the 49ers. What is going on in this draft? These GMs are functioning retards.

8. St. Louis Rams: TAVON AUSTIN WR WEST VIRGINIA GRADE: F-------

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA the Miami Dolphins thank you for trading more away for a worse pick than they did……..you just went full retard Rams and in the draft you never go full retard…….never go full retard. His highlight reel consisted of him out running Iowa State……Iowa State……how many Iowa State players are NFL starters on Defense? I don’t know but if I had to guess I would say ZERO! The Rams should have just bundled all of their picks to the Chiefs so they could take Manti Te’o #1 overall………morons!

9. New York Jets: DEE MILLINER CB ALABAMA GRADE: A+

I don’t think anyone who lives in the real world believed that Milliner would be here. Milliner will be the most aggressive and big hitting corner in the NFL this side of Dunta Robinson. To get the best corner in the draft at #9 does not make the Jets draft gurus it makes seven of the eight teams in front of them terrible at the draft.

10. Tennessee Titans: CHANCE WARMACK G ALABAMA GRADE:A+++++++++++++

The Titans get the best G in the draft and the most NFL ready player regardless of position. Just like the Jets the Titans are not so much draft experts as it is so many others are terrible. The Titans are laughing all the way to the bank with a future HOF Guard.

11. San Diego Chargers: D.J. FLUKER OT ALABAMA GRADE: A-

If he can’t beat you with his skill he will just look at you real hard and scare you to death with his face. The new ugliest man in the NFL is possibly the second best OT in the draft and the Chargers get him at an extreme value.

12. Oakland Raiders: D.J. Hayden CB UTAH GRADE: F--------

Oakland…….you traded out of #3……..Sharrif Floyd was still there…….I was typing all sorts of praise for Oakland because how could they not take Floyd…...HOW DID YOU NOT TAKE SHARRIF FLOYD!?! Then they took a guy who almost died….in practice……against Conf USA second stringers…………he is going to die in the NFL. I wanted to love you Oakland but once again you brought the full retard to the party.

13. New York Jets: SHELDON RICHARDSON DT MISSOURI GRADE: F

Well some lucky team will have Rex Ryan as their defensive coordinator next year. Unreal just how awful this pick was.

14. Carolina Panthers: STAR LOTULELEI DT UTAH GRADE: C

Much like Fisher at #1 it is no so much that he is bad as it is Sharrif Floyd is so much better. The Panthers are a joke and they keep getting funnier…..from those God awful uniforms to their inability to draft.

15. New Orleans Saints: KENNY VACCARO S TEXAS GRADE: F- (for Full retard)

Kenny Vaccaro sucks! He is weak, slow for a safety, can’t tackle, can’t shed blocks, can’t close, and can’t be very exciting for Saints fans. He will not be a starter by 2015.

16. Buffalo Bills: E.J. MANUEL QB FSU GRADE: F------------------------

Poor mechanics, horrendous accuracy, and very stupid in both football knowledge and God given common sense. Really Buffalo……..this is your answer to your inability to fill the most important position on the field since Jim Kelly? Move over Eagles you just got competition in the Jadeveon Clowney sweepstakes because the Bills just took a less talented Vince Young.

17. Pittsburgh Steelers: JARVIS JONES OLB GEORGIA GRADE: A++++++++++++++++

This is why the Steelers have so many Super Bowl wins……this is why the Steelers are always good and why they don’t stay down for very long. An exceptional pick made by one of the elite franchises in the NFL. The rich get richer.

18. San Francisco 49ers: ERIC REID S LSU GRADE: A++++++++++++

Dear New Orleans,

Thanks for being stupid and not knowing how to evaluate defensive talent. We will send you an edible arrangement from the Super Bowl in February.

I Hate You,

Jim Harbaugh

P.S. ”Pinch the tail and suck the head”? You guys are fags! Patrick Willis told me to tell you that

19. New York Giants: JUSTIN PUGH OT SYRACUSE GRADE: B

Every Giants pick is a B every single year in every single round. They never reach and they always get a player. The best teams are getting great players because the worse teams don’t know what they are doing.

20. Chicago Bears: KYLE LONG OT OREGON GRADE: B-

More of an early 2^nd rounder but with the Bears needing 5 new O-linemen it is not that bad of a reach. Had they taken Te’o it would have been an Indian Food Diarrhea filled dumpster fire, but the Bears dodge that bullet. The Bears finally get a player with the last name Long after the League put the nay nay on the Howie Long to Chicago three way in 83’ that would have sent Elway to the Raiders.

21. Cincinnati Bengals: TYLER EIFERT TE NOTRE DAME GRADE: C-

If he played for any team other than Notre Dame he would have been a second round talent. He is a good player and a definite NFL player but this is way too high for Eifert.

22. Atlanta Falcons: DESMOND TRUFANT CB WASHINGTON GRADE: C+

Not a bad player but they did not have to trade up to get him…..he would have been there at 30 so the Falcons just basically threw away a draft pick.

23. Minnesota Vikings: SHARRIF FLOYD DT FLORIDA GRADE: A+++++++++++++

The steal of the draft at this point and a perfect fit for the Vikings. The best DT in the draft and a top 5 talent. In 10 years it will be legendary how many teams passed on him and when the Raiders are back in Los Angeles in 5 years the Oakland fans will be able to point to their colossal miss on Sharrif Floyd.

24. Indianapolis Colts: BJOERN WERNER OLB/DE FLORIDA STATE GRADE: C+

An early second round player that the Colts could have traded down into the second and still nabbed while adding picks……..Margus Hunt would have been a better 3-4 DE.

25. Minnesota Vikings: XAVIER RHODES CB FLORIDA STATE GRADE: A-

Picking at 23 and 25 the Vikings were not tempted to package and move up but may be the biggest winner in the draft. The Vikings are loving Atlanta for moving up and then taking the third best corner available leaving the best available corner for them at 25.

26. Green Bay Packers: DATONE JONES DE UCLA GRADE: D

Typical Ted Thompson throw away pick as he grossly over values a 3^rd round talent on DL.

27. Houston Texans: DeANDRE HOPKINS WR CLEMSON GRADE: B+

I like the player and I like the fit but they could have traded down to the Jaguars or Eagles and still had Hopkins on the board while gaining picks.

28. Denver Broncos: SYLVESTER WILLIAMS DT NORTH CAROLINA GRADE: B+

A solid pick and a value this late in the draft but they had greater needs that could have been addressed.

29. Minnesota Vikings: CORDARRELLE PATTERSON WR TENNESSEE GRADE: A-

The Vikings complete their run away dominance of this draft. The Vikings get value, impact, and need in all three picks. Patterson will be an impact player from day one.

30. St. Louis Rams: ALEC OGLETREE ILB GEORGIA GRADE: A

The best ILB on the board and he will not move outside……James Laurinits is about to get cut but he honestly should have never even been drafted.

31. Dallas Cowboys: TRAVIS FREDERICK C WISCONSIN GRADE: F----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh Jerry Jones……you really don’t have the slightest idea of what you are doing. Jerry Jones is officially the new Al Davis.

32. Baltimore Ravens: MATT ELAM S FLORIDA GRADE: A++++

Theme of the night………the rich get richer and the crappy teams need new decision makers. Great pick and a great fit for the Ravens.

2013 Round 3 Full Mock Draft

2013-04-25T19:55:00.001-04:00

ROUND 3

63. Kansas City-     RYAN NASSIB                                  QB     SYRACUSE

64. Jacksonville-     JAMAR TAYLOR                             CB     BOISE ST.

65. Detroit-              D.J. HAYDEN                                    CB     HOUSTON

66. Oakland-            DARIUS SLAY                                  CB     MISSISSIPPI STATE

67. Philadelphia-      BACARRI RAMBO                          S       GEORGIA

68. Cleveland-          CORNELIUS WASHINGTON       OLB GEORGIA

69. Arizona-              COREY LEMONIER                       OLB AUBURN

70. Tennessee-         LAVAR EDWARDS                         DE    LSU

71. Buffalo-               JUSTIN PUGH                                  OT    SYRACUSE

72. New York Jets-   TYLER BRAY                                   QB   TENNESSEE

73. Tampa Bay-         BENNIE LOGAN                             DT    LSU

74. San Francisco-      E.J. MANUEL                                 QB FSU

75. New Orleans-       GILBERT PENA                              NT    OLE MISS

76. San Diego-            GIOVANI BERNARD                     RB   NORTH CAROLINA

77. Miami-                   ROBERT ALFORD                         CB    S.E. LOUISIANA

78. Saint Louis-           COBI HAMILTON                           WR ARKANSAS

79. Pittsburgh-             CHRISTINE MICHAEL                  RB   TEXAS A&M

80. Dallas-                    BRANDON WILLIAMS                 DT   MISSOURI SOUTHERN ST.

81. New York Giants- MANTI TE'O                                   ILB NOTRE DAME

82. Miami-                    JAMIE COLLINS                           OLB SOUTHERN MISS

83. Minnesota-             JOSH BOYD                                     DT   MISSISSIPPI STATE

84. Cincinnati-              DAVID AMERSON                         CB   NORTH CAROLINA STATE

85. Washington-           TYRANN MATHIEU                       CB   LSU

86. Indianapolis-           ALVIN BAILEY                                G     ARKANSAS

87. Seattle-                    T.J. McDONALD                             S      USC

88. Green Bay-              JORDAN POYER                           CB    OREGON STATE

89. Houston-                  LOGAN RYAN                                CB     RUTGERS

90. Denver-                    ANDRE ELLINGTON                    RB   CLEMSON

91. New England-          THAROLD SIMONS                      CB    LSU

92. Atlanta-                    GAVIN ESCOBAR                          TE    S.D. STATE

93. San Francisco-          MARCUS LATTIMORE                RB SOUTH CAROLINA

94. Baltimore-                SEAN PORTER                              OLB TEXAS A&M

95. Houston-                   VANCE McDONALD                    TE     RICE

96. Kansas City-             AARON DOBSON                         WR   MARSHALL

97. Tennessee-                SANDERS COMMINGS               DB GEORGIA

2013 Round 2 Full Mock Draft

2013-04-24T20:34:00.000-04:00

ROUND 2

33. Jacksonville-   TYLER WILSON          QB       ARKANSAS
       I would not be surprised if the Jaguars did not go full-retard here and take Geno Smith

34. San Francisco- JOHNATHAN BANKS CB    MISSISSIPPI STATE
      Great organizations make great picks and the 49ers prove they have a great organization here.

35. Philadelphia-   GENO SMITH    QB    WEST VIRGINIA
     Bad organizations make bad moves like replacing Reid with Kelly. They also make bad picks like this
     this one.

36. Detroit-    JOHNATHAN CYPRIEN   S   FLORIDA INT.
     My favorite small school player in this draft. A hard hitting and opportunistic safety.

37. Cincinnati- ARTHUR BROWN    OLB   KANSAS ST.
      The Bungles need LB help and Brown is a great fit. One of the few SEC caliber players not in the SEC.

38. Arizona-   MIKE GLANNON    QB     N.C. STATE
     Glannon is my 2nd ranked QB just behind Wilson. A good pick for the Cards who should replace
     Palmer sooner rather than later.

39. New York Jets- ZACH ERTZ    TE    STANFORD
     With Wilson and Glannon off the board the Jets can't go QB here so they take TE that will eventually
      be the best TE from this draft.

40. Tennessee-    LARRY WARFORD   G    KENTUCKY
      In three years we will look back and say to ourselves "How did 39 players go before Warford?"

41. Buffalo-    JOHN BOSTIC        LB      FLORIDA
      The Bills get the enforcer in the middle they have been missing for a long time.

42. Miami-     MENELIK WATSON OT   FSU
     I don't like Watson and I don't think he will be able to make the leap into a NFL starter.

43. Tampa Bay-   D.J. SWEARINGER   S   SOUTH CAROLINA
     The defensive steal of the draft.

44. Carolina-    KYLE LONG    OT    OREGON
     Howie Long's son has the big frame and long arms to be a solid RT in the NFL.

45. San Diego-   JOHN JENKINS NT   GEORGIA
     Concerns about his motor and weight drop him to this point. He needs more structure than he will get in
     S.D.

46. Saint Louis-   JOHNATHAN HANKINS   DT OHIO STATE
     A less talented Sheldon Richardson and you already know I am not big on Richardson.

47. Dallas-       DALLAS THOMAS       G/T     TENNESSEE
     Can play G or T will be an upgrade at either for the Cowboys.

48. Pittsburgh-   JELANI JONES    LB    FLORIDA
     Could be a reach for the Steelers but in their system he could thrive.

49. New York Giants- DATONE JONES DE UCLA
     The type of long pass rusher that the Giants love to take and develop

50. Chicago-   BARRETT JONES G/T/C ALABAMA
     The absolute steal of the draft regardless of position or round. If the Bears get him here they will be
     very happy with their draft.

51. Washington-   TERRANCE WILLIAMS   WR   BAYLOR
     A bland WR but the best one available at this point.

52. Minnesota-   CORNELLIUS CARRADINE   DE FSU
     A raw talent but a talent none the less. An late ACL injury will scare people off until this point.

53. Cincinnati-   MONTEE BALL      RB     WISCONSIN
     A true load carrying back but there may be too many miles on him already.

54. Miami-       PHILLIP LUTZENKIRCHEN   TE   AUBURN
     A surprise player that has not gotten much love up until this point. Will be a sneaky good weapon.

55. Green Bay-   TRAVIS FREDERICK     C   WISCONSIN
     I will not be the least bit surprised if the Packers take Barrett Jones in the first. If they don't then they
    will need to replace Jeff Saturday here.

56. Seattle- DAMONTRE MOORE    DE   TEXAS A&M
     The type of high motor finesse rusher the Seahawks like

57. Houston-   KAWANN SHORT     DT    PURDURE
     One of a number of "insert name here" Big Ten D-linemen that no one will remember after his first year.

58. Denver-    ROBERT WOODS     WR     USC
     Does he have hands? Can he run without falling down? Then Peyton will make him look good.

59. New England- MARGUS HUNT    DE     SMU
     A prototype 3-4 DE. A prototype Parcells guy which means he is a Belichick guy as well.

60. Atlanta-     BJOREN WERNER     DE      FSU
     An early 90's type typical Atlanta pick........bust written all over him.

61. San Francisco-   ALEX OKAFOR     DE     TEXAS
     Usually I poo-poo Texas defensive players but under Harbaugh and with all the SF talent on D he may
     work out.

62. Baltimore-     NICO JOHNSON      LB     ALABAMA
      Baltimore loves a head buster and this one will crack heads down to the white meat.

2013 Round 1 Full Mock Draft

2013-04-24T11:51:00.002-04:00

The full CCRider Round 1 mock draft. In some cases I went with who the team should take and in some cases I went with the player that the team will screw up and take (i.e. Dion Jordan and Ezekiel Ansah).

1. Kansas City- Luke Jockel OT Texas A&M

Jockel is the very best player at one of the three premium positions. The safest pick in draft with no clear #1.

2. Jacksonville- Dion Jordan OLB/DE Oregon

Bad franchises make bad picks. Jacksonville is a bad franchise so you do the math on this one.

3. Oakland- Sharrif Floyd DT Florida

The Raiders could not stop the run last year. Floyd is an immediate upgrade in the heart of the Raider D.

4. Philadelphia- Eric Fisher OT Central Michigan

Philly is a dumpster fire right now. This is not a player that will thrive in the two years before Chip is fired.

5. Detroit- Ezekiel Ansah DE BYU

Detroit will let Milliner’s injuries scare them into this pick. Injuries heal….not having 1^st round talent doesn’t.

6. Cleveland- Dee Milliner CB Alabama

The Browns will add Detroit to their Christmas card list for this gift.

7. Arizona- Chance Warmack OG Alabama

Warmack is the most NFL ready player in the draft, a day one starter, and an interior anchor for a decade.

8. Buffalo- Matt Barkley QB USC

Buddy Nix said he is taking a QB, Buddy likes players from warmer climates, Buddy is not swayed by draft gurus and their last minute board jumpers.

9. New York Jets- Star Lotulelei NT Utah

This guy has been over hyped for months and will be the next in a long line of Jets draft busts.

10. Tennessee- Kenny Vaccaro S Texas

Every other year there is a Texas safety that is over rated and taken way too high….the tradition continues.

11. San Diego- Lane Johnson OT Oklahoma

Every year there is an Oklahoma tackle that is over rated and taken way too high…the tradition continues.

12. Miami- Cordarrelle Patterson WR Tennessee

The first real shocker in the draft as Miami rolls the dice on Patterson’s potential…P.S. Miami may be right.

13. New York Jets- Jarvis Jones OLB Georgia

JJ is the best defensive player on the board. 8 of the first 12 teams that picked will regret passing on him.

14. Carolina- Sheldon Richardson DT Missouri

If JJ at #13 is the best defensive player Richardson at #14 may be the most overrated this side of Dion Jordan.

15. New Orleans- Barkevious Mingo OLB LSU

Oh how they wanted Jarvis Jones. No doubt Rex will call Rob to rub this one in. KiKi ain’t a bad consolation prize.

16. Saint Louis- Jonathan Cooper OG North Carolina

The Rams need to solidify the middle of their O-line. A far cry from Warmack and a bit of a reach this early.

17. Pittsburgh- D.J. Fluker OT Alabama

The Steelers have been using paper clips and bubble gum at the tackle position for years, DJ fixes that.

18. Dallas- Alec Ogletree ILB Georgia

Monty brings the Tampa-2 to Big D and that means they need a tall athletic ILB….Tree is the only one available.

19. New York Giants- Tyler Eifert TE Notre Dame

A non-flashy player who will work hard on a non-flashy team that finds ways to win.

20. Chicago- Kevin Minter ILB LSU

With no elite O-lineman left on the board the Bears look for the best LB to fill the Urlacher void.

21. Cincinnati- Eric Reid S LSU

Reid is the best combination of ball hawk and head buster on the board at the safety position.

22. Saint Louis- Eddie Lacy RB Alabama

If you saw the NT or SECC games then you know this is a steal for the Rams.

23. Minnesota- Justin Hunter WR Tennessee

The Vikings get an extra first rounder for Percy Harvin. They use the pick on a poor man’s Percy Harvin.

24. Indianapolis- Jesse Williams NT Alabama

A big bodied, high motor, beast to plug into the middle of a porous line.

25. Minnesota- Keenan Allen WR California

Minnesota could have addressed a need in the first round instead they use two picks to not replace Harvin

26. Green Bay- DeAndre Hopkins WR Clemson

Ted Thompson needs O-linemen but he is terrible at evaluating them….so he takes the sure handed Hopkins.

27. Houston- Tavon Austin WR West Virginia

The Texans reach for a wide out here and they will regret it sooner rather than later.

28. Denver- Sylvester Williams DT North Carolina

Underrated and under the radar….a steal for Denver in the long run.

29. New England- Xavier Rhodes CB FSU

The Pats have struggled in drafting corners….the struggles will continue.

30. Atlanta- Desmond Trufant CB Washington

The Falcons will really drop the ball here. Banks from Miss. St. should be the pick here.

31. San Francisco- Sam Montgomery DE LSU

The physical tools will outweigh the diarrhea of the mouth that he had…the 49ers will keep his straight.

32. Baltimore- Matt Elam S Florida

An instinctive ball hawk that the Ravens will hope can fill the loss of Reed.

The end of an era: No more Hargrave Military football

2013-04-24T08:00:00.000-04:00

For years and years, college football programs have placed kids who were close but not quite there academically. These were kids who were just a class shy, or a couple points on a test score from being eligible. So they'd spend a year improving their academics at a military boarding school, most commonly Fork Union or Hargrave in Virginia. Well, Hargrave is no longer an option.

I'm sure some other school will be ready, if it's not already in place, to fill the void they leave behind. But Hargrave has been very good to Georgia, and the SEC. Thank you for helping turn these boys into men.

Among their notable former players are Charles Grant and Danny Ware. Former Thomson star and current DL newbie John Atkins just finished a semester at Hargrave, and potential star OLB Leonard Floyd is working on a full year to get his academics in order before arriving in Athens in the next month or two. Long time NBA and NCAA coach Larry Brown, currently with SMU, attended Hargrave, as did NFL standouts Torry Holt, Branden Albert, Ahmad Brooks, among countless others, NBA stars David West and Mareese Speights, and NASCAR driver Ward Burton.

SEC/NFL Mock Draft Round 2

2013-04-23T09:48:00.001-04:00

The boys from the SEC and where they will go in the second round.

1. (33 overall) Jacksonville Jaguars: TYLER WILSON QB ARKANSAS 6'2 218

Despite everything you hear about combines and pro days in the end game film is what matters. Wilson was injured much of last season and had to deal with the sudden loss of his head coach. Game film will show a smart quarterback with a big arm and good decision making. Five years from now Wilson will be the only QB from this draft with a starting job.

2. (34) San Francisco 49ers: JOHNTHAN BANKS CB MISS. ST. 6'1 185

Long, lean, agile, and with great range. The 49ers have a lot of picks and few holes in their roster so they can add depth. If Banks is not forced into a load bearing starting role too soon he will develop into a solid starter for Harbaugh and company.

8. (40) Tennessee Titans: LARRY WARFORD OG KENTUCKY 6'3 333

Cooper from North Carolina is getting more last minute love and will jump into the first round but Warford is a better player. Warford is built like a brick outhouse and is fierce mauler in the phone booth. He will need to increase his burst and foot speed to become elite but that can happen in an NFL program.

9. (41) Buffalo Bills: JON BOSTIC ILB FLORIDA 6'1 246

Buffalo makes no bones about the fact that they love Southern players and their speed. Bostic is very instinctive and very physical (see above). Many boards have him falling into the third round but I don't see that happening. Bostic is the square head-buster that the Bills need to solidify their defense.

11. (43) Tampa Bay Buccaneers: D.J. SWEARINGER S SOUTH CAROLINA 5'11 210

Long term Swearinger may be the steal of the draft at this point in the second round. If he applies himself he could be the day one starter for the Bucs. If he goes here and plays center field to Revis Swearinger can become a feared hitter and ball hawk at the next level.

13.(45) San Diego Chargers: JOHN JENKINS NT GEORGIA 6'4 359

A true mountain of a man but like the former Alabama NT Terrance Cody there are concerns about his stamina and weight. That 359 lbs may be a little on the stingy side and the risk of him being one trip to the CiCi's pizza buffet away from 400lbs will concern GMs. Best case you will get Vince Wilfork worst case he will be too heavy to even leave his house in three years. There are also concerns about his motor and just how hard he goes on every play. All of that said Jenkins is the sort of big body and quick feet that can be the driving force behind a successful 3-4 defense. He will fall into the second but in the end what could be will outweigh the fears.

15. (47) DALLAS COWBOYS: DALLAS THOMAS OT/G TENNESSEE 6'5 308

Sure there is the Dallas and Dallas connection but as for real reasons why the Boys will want him: Thomas is big, nasty, and versatile. The Boys need help across the entire O-line and since they decided to waste millions of dollars on the most overrated QB in recent memory they will need guys to keep Romo upright. Thomas can start day one at guard and maybe even at right tackle.

16. (48) Pittsburgh Steelers: JELANI JENKINS OLB FLORIDA 6'0 237

The Steelers always do their own thing at line backer and it always seems to work. They need to get younger and deeper at all four LB spots. They will take Jenkins here as an OLB but I think they will look to add 10 lbs to his frame and play him inside.

18. (50) Chicago Bears: BARRETT JONES G/C/T ALABAMA 6'4 305

Jones is one of those guys who got talked into the second round by the so called "experts". How a four year starter at three different positions on the O--line is not a top 10 pick is beyond me. Jones will be 10 to 15 year starter, a team leader, and an impact blocker. If the Bears get him this late they can throw darts at a board for the rest of their picks and the draft will still be a success.

22. (54) Miami Dolphins: PHILLIP LUTZENKIRCHEN TE AUBURN 6'3 255

You basically have to throw everything that happened at Auburn this year out the window. There was a total breakdown from Chizik all the way to the freshmen on the scout team. Lutz was an impact player for two seasons before being plagued with injury and bad coaching this past season. Lately there are always some random TEs that go much higher than projected and Lutz will go here to give the Dolphins young signal caller a safety valve.

24. (56) Seattle Seahawks: DAMONTRE MOORE DE TEXAS A&M 6'4 250

A speed and finesse DE that really kneecapped his stock at the combine. The Seahawks love these kind of pass rushers and proved everyone wrong with Bruce Irvin last season. Imagine 3rd downs this season with Irvin and Moore pinning their ears back and getting after it. He will need to gain strength and size to be an every down player but the Seahawks think they can get him there.

30. (62) Baltimore Ravens: NICO JOHNSON LB ALABAMA 6'2 249

The Ravens will replace Reed in the first and now try to begin the process of replacing Lewis and Ellerbe in the middle. The Patriots have shown the NFL that success in the 3-4 starts with SEC linebackers. Johnson has the size, speed, and instincts to contribute from the beginning and the experience of playing in Sabans system will give him an edge going into the Ravens 3-4 scheme.

What he said: Seth nails it

2013-04-23T08:18:00.001-04:00

Seems like Seth Emerson sat down with Greg McGarity to discuss the hoops program, which has lost KCP and probably Kwanza Johnson, but added Kenny Paul Geno and Cameron Forte this week. Apparently the key is improving. And Seth nails it dead on...

There’s still enough talent on the roster to do better than this past year’s 15-17 overall record. Point guard Charles Mann was on the SEC all-freshman team, shooting guard Kenny Gaines has star potential, and small forward Brandon Morris was a starter. All three will be sophomores next year. Nemi Djurisic, who will be a junior, can be a very good forward if he’s more consistent. There aren’t any program changers in the recruiting class, but there could be some contributors.

SEC/NFL Round 1 Mock Draft

2013-04-23T06:30:00.000-04:00

1. Kansas City Chiefs : LUKE JOECKEL OT TEXAS A&M 6'6 310

Andy Reid's draft history has shown that he has quite the affinity for linemen. The Geno Smith going #1 talk has been laughable since day one....can anyone say Andre Ware? The Chiefs and Reid will try to rebuild the dumpster fire that has been the Chiefs from the inside out. Joeckel does not have the injury problems or questionable intellect that Jarvis Jones has. There is not a one hit wonder or tendency to get lost at points in the season problem like Floyd, Ansah, or Jordan. Simply put he is the safest pick at a premium position and the Chiefs cannot pass on him.

3. Oakland Raiders: SHARRIF FLOYD DT FLORIDA 6'3 305

The Jaguars will be tempted to take the hometown product at #2 but they will screw up and take Dion Jordan of Oregon. I mean really what do you expect from a team that is owned by a possible member of Al Qaeda. Floyd can thrive in the 4-3 or the 3-4.....which is good for him because if he inks a four year deal with the Raiders he can expect a different coach and scheme each of those years. The Raiders were horrible at stopping the run last year and Floyd can go a long way towards fixing that problem.

6. Cleveland Browns: DEE MILLINER CB ALABAMA 6'1 198

The Browns were plagued by injuries and suspensions in their secondary all last season. Milliner can bring stability to a unit that was as unstable as any unit on any team save the Bears O-line. Cleveland took Joe Haden from Florida in the first a couple of years ago and Milliner could give the Browns excellent pass coverage ability for the next decade.....that is of course if they can find a pass rush to compliment their corners.

7. Arizona Cardinals: CHANCE "BELLYLICIOUS" WARMACK OG ALABAMA 6'2 322

Over the past five or six years the Cardinals have been devoted to drafting the best player on the board regardless of need. Warmack is the most NFL ready player in this years draft. The Cardinals are literally taking a day one starter and a force on the interior of the line. Plus there is that belly........what can I say that has not already been covered.....or in this case not covered? Warmack looks like he is perpetually 8 months pregnant with twin cannonballs. The perfect spherical nature of the belly creates additional leverage at Warmacks core. Since there is just enough downward "hang" to the belly it is always pulling Warmack down. This forces Warmack to stay low and keep his body square.

12. Miami Dolphins: CORDARRELLE PATTERSON WR TENNESSEE 6'3 205

This will be the first real shocker of the draft. The Dolphins are not very good at doing things like running an NFL franchise so I fully expect them to make one of the first huge reaches of the draft. Patterson has excellent height and speed plus you are drafting the additional benefit of Patterson as a special teams kick returner. The Dolphins will catch a lot of heat for this pick based on Patterson being a one hit wonder. There are a lot of things about Cordarrelle that I like but this is way too high to take him.

13. New York Jets: JARVIS JONES OLB GEORGIA 6'2 242

Every single year there is player that everyone talks down. Some years the efforts do not work and some years this nonsense drives the value of a great player down. This year has been odd because most of the big draft gurus have not openly attacked Jarvis. However, there has been a very effective whisper campaign on the Internet that has me thinking that JJ might be negatively impacted by these whispers. It appears that the spinal stenosis was misdiagnosed and that was the only real knock I saw. Now there is the notion that Jones is not very smart..............................I'll tell you what......the day that the "book smarts" of black, instinct players from the South has anything to do with their ability to play is the day that the Big Ten will win its next National Title. If Jones is on the board at 13 Rex Ryan may turn in the fastest 40 time by a 300+ pounder in draft history as he will wind sprint this pick to the podium.

14. Carolina Panthers: SHELDON RICHARDSON DT MISSOURI 6'3 295

I'm sure you will be shocked to hear that I think a Missouri player is vastly overrated. I just have not seen what everyone else sees in Richardson. I think 14 is way too early for his talent. The Panthers need a lot of help across their defensive unit. Carolina would be better suited to try and trade out of this pick and look to pick up North Carolina DT Sylvester Williams later in the first while also getting an extra pick.

15. New Orleans Saints: BARKEVIOUS "KIKI" MINGO OLB LSU 6'4 240

Rob Ryan and the Saints will be praying hard for some divine intervention when the Jets pick......and by that I mean they will be praying that the Jets take Mingo. The Jets in the Rex Ryan-era have often been faced with two quality pass rushers and have consistently taken the less talented one. This year I think the Jets get it right and take Jarvis. That said Mingo ain't exactly a PAC-12 pass rusher. Kiki is still an elite pass rusher with quite a resume in the SEC. He will have to learn to play from the OLB position but that shouldn't be a problem. The Saints will need an edge rusher and a big bodied NT to make the move to the 3-4........Kiki will give them that edge rusher for the next few years.

17. Pittsburgh Steelers: D.J. FLUKER OT ALABAMA 6'6 355

A lot of draft gurus consider Fluker going in the first round to be a stretch....I am not one of them. In fact I like Fluker much better than Lane Johnson from Oklahomo. Were I a GM my main concern with Fluker would be his age.........look at this man there is no way he is not 56 years old. He looks like Venus Williams and Abdulah the Butcher had a baby and that baby was adopted by William "The Refrigerator" Perry. The Steelers will take Fluker and they will boast Fluker, DeCastro, and Pouncey on one side of their line.......so I expect the Steelers to run the ball down a few throats in 2013.

18. Dallas Cowboys: ALEC OGLETREE MLB GEORGIA 6'3 234

I assume the Boys will be moving into the Tampa 2 since they hired Monty Kiffin. There was a need for an ILB prior to this move but now the Boys will have to get a taller more athletic backer if they hope to make this transition. Tree is taller and more athletic than Minter, Teo, Bostic, or Nico Johnson. The Boys will overlook the DUI because there really isn't any other player in the draft that fits the Tampa 2 mold in the inside and Tree will not last past the first round.

20. Chicago Bears: KEVIN MINTER MLB LSU 6'1 245

I would not be the least bit surprised if the Bears do not move up the board and try to grab Fluker or Jonathan Cooper guard from North Carolina. If the Bears do not make this move they will have to take Minter here because they will not pick again until 50 and they cannot risk Bostic and Nico Johnson being off the board by then and getting stuck with Manti Teo. The Bears will view Minter as the best player available and a player that fills a need.

21. Cincinnati Bengals: ERIC REID S LSU 6'2 212

Reid will overtake Elam as the second safety off the board by this Thursday. Reid is taller and has more range than Elam. The knock on Reid is that he plays with too much aggression.....uhhhh.....I don't have a problem with that. The Bengals need to get bigger, stronger, and more aggressive up the middle from their DTs to their Safeties. Reid will bring tons of aggression and solid ball hawking skills to the Bengals.

22. Saint Louis Rams: EDDIE LACY RB ALABAMA 5'10 220

Eddie Lacy did more in one game to shape this draft board than any other player all of last season. Lacy not only propelled himself into the first round but he also dropped Manti Teo out of the top 15 and into the 4th or 5th round. This also helped to elevate Kevin Minter into the first round. The Browns got their money's worth out of Trent Richardson last season and Lacy is a similar type of runner from the exact same system. The Rams will get a young and healthy power back to replace the departed Jackson.

23. Minnesota Vikings: JUSTIN HUNTER WR TENNESSEE 6'4 220

Hunter is tall, long, athletic, and with tremendous range. He lacks the speed that Percy Harvin brought to the Vikings but he will be an instant impact target for Christian Ponder. Hunter has some durability issues but the Vikings may view this as partially the fault of a piss poor strength and conditioning program at UT under Lil' Dooley.

24. Indianapolis Colts: JESSE WILLIAMS NT ALABAMA 6'3 320

Another surprise pick as most boards will have John Jenkins as the second true NT off the board. Williams is a far more athletic nose than Jenkins and he is a much higher motor player than Jenkins. Additionally, the Colts will not have to worry about Williams ballooning up to 475lbs like with Jenkins and they will not have to worry about Williams mailing it in and taking a play off every few plays. Additionally, Williams will boast the same strength as the larger Jenkins but without quite as much total body mass.

31. San Francisco 49ers: SAM MONTGOMERY DE LSU 6'5 260

For future reference......if you are are a top flight defensive end who has turned in a stellar career at an elite SEC program......you may not want to talk about gambling on games and taking plays off........just a thought because it will end up costing Sam Montgomery more than a few slots in this draft and many millions of dollars. Harbaugh will not be scared off by Montgomery's foolishness. Montgomery will be surrounded by strong leadership in his coaches and team mates. You will play in San Fran and you will give it your all or else you will murdered by Patrick Beastman Willis' bare hands.

32. Baltimore Ravens: MATT ELAM S FLORIDA 5'10 202

The Ravens will not be the least bit disappointed when the Bengals pass on Elam and take Reid with the 21st pick. The Ravens are not in need of aggression from their safety and would prefer to have top flight ball hawking skills. Elam is the most Ed Reed like safety on the board and the Ravens will be happy to land Elam this late in the first.

By my count that would be 17 SEC players in the first round and that has to be some kind of record.

2013 SEC/NFL Draft by Teams

2013-04-22T12:24:00.000-04:00

In the past our draft coverage would have been on-going since the combine. However, we will try and cram it all in between now and Thursday. This is our initial breakdown by team and where we project they will go. Keep in mind that players projected to go 6th-UDFA are players that are on the draft bubble. As many as 103 SEC players could go this year but the number is most likely going to be around 70 which is still extremely high for a single conference.

UGA

Jarvis Jones OLB Top 10

Alec Ogletree ILB 1^st

John Jenkins NT 1^st-2^nd

Cornelius Washington OLB/DE 2^nd-3^rd

Bacarri Rambo S 2^nd-3^rd

Sanders Commings S 3^rd

Shawn Williams S 3^rd-4^th

Kwame Geathers NT 4^th

Tavarres King WR 5^th

Abry Jones DE 5^th

Marlon Brown WR 6th - UDFA

Branden Smith CB 6^th-UDFA

USC

D.J. Swearinger S 2^nd

Marcus Lattimore RB 3^rd

Devonte Holloman OLB 4^th-5^th

Devin Taylor DE 4^th-5^th

Akeem Auguste S/CB 5^th

Ace Sanders WR/KR 5^th

Justice Cunningham TE 6^th-UDFA

T.J. Johnson C 6^th-UDFA

Tennessee

Justin Hunter WR 1^st

Cordarelle Patterson WR 1^st

Dallas Thomas G/T 2^nd

Tyler Bray QB 2^nd-3^rd

Herman Lathers LB 6^th-UDFA

Zach Rogers WR 6^th-UDFA

Prentiss Waggner CB 6^th-UDFA

Marsalis Teague CB 6^th-UDFA

Mychal Rivera TE 6^th-UDFA

Florida

Shariff Floyd DT Top 10

Matt Elam S 1^st-2^nd

John Bostic LB 2^nd

Jelani Jones LB 2^nd-3^rd

Jordan Reed TE 4^th-5^th

Josh Evans S 4^th-5^th

Mike Gillislee RB 4^th-5^th

Xavier Nixon OT 5^th

Caleb Sturgis K 6^th-UDFA

Kentucky

Larry Warford G 2^nd

Cartier Rice CB 6^th-UDFA

Vanderbilt

Zac Stacy RB 4^th

Jordan Rogers QB 6^th

Trey Wilson CB 6^th-UDFA

Rob Lohr DT/DE 6^th-UDFA

Missouri

Sheldon Richardson DT 1^st

Zavier Gooden LB 4^th

Elvis Fisher OT 6^th-UDFA

Brad Madison DE 6^th-UDFA

Kip Edwards CB 6^th-UDFA

Alabama

Dee Milliner CB Top 10

Chance Warmack G Top 10

DJ Flucker OT 1^st

Eddie Lacy RB 1^st

Barrett Jones C/G/T 1^st-2^nd

Jesse Williams NT 1^st-2^nd

Nico Johnson LB 2^nd-3^rd

Michael Williams TE 4^th-5^th

Quinton Dial DT/DE 4^th-5^th

Robert Lester S 5^th

Damion Square DE 6^th-UDFA

LSU

Barkevious Mingo OLB/DE Top 10

Eric Reid S 1^st-2^nd

Kevin Minter ILB 2^nd

Sam Montgomery DE 2^nd

Tyrann Mathieu CB/KR 3^rd

Tharold Simons CB 3^rd-4^th

Lavar Edwards DE 3^rd-4^th

Chris Faulk G/T 5^th

Spencer Ware RB 5^th-6^th

Michael Ford RB 5^th-6^th

Alex Hurst OT 5^th-6^th

Josh Dworaczyk G 6^th-UDFA

P.J. Lonergan C/G 6^th-UDFA

Josh Downs DT 6^th-UDFA

Brad Wingo P 6^th-UDFA

Ole Miss
Gilbert Pena NT 4th-5th

Mississippi State

Johnthan Banks CB 1^st

Darius Slay CB 2^nd-3^rd

Josh Boyd DT 3^rd

Corey BroomField CB 6^th-UDFA

Cameron Lawrence OLB 6^th-UDFA

Auburn

Corey Lemonier OLB/DE 2^nd

Phillip Lutzenkirchen TE 2^nd-3^rd

Onterio McCalebb RB 6^th-UDFA

John Sullivan G 6^th-UDFA

T’Sharvan Bell CB 6^th-UDFA

Arkansas

Tyler Wilson QB 2^nd

Cobi Hamilton WR 2^nd-3^rd

Alvin Bailey G 3^rd-4^th

Knile Davis RB 5^th

Chris Gragg TE 6^th-UDFA

Jason Peacock G 6^th-UDFA

DeQuinta Jones DT 6^th-UDFA

Alonzo Highsmith OLB 6^th-UDFA

Dylan Breeding P 6^th-UDFA

Texas A&M

Luke Jockel OT Top 10

DaMontre Moore DE/OLB 1^st-2^nd

Christine Michael RB 3^rd

Sean Porter OLB 3^rd

Ryan Swope WR 3^rd-4^th

Johnathan Stewart ILB 6^th-UDFA

Dustin Harris CB 6^th-UDFA

Patrick Lewis C/G 6^th-UDFA

Do it Watts, DO IT!!!

2013-04-10T08:05:00.000-04:00

Watts Dantzler has been a backup, but without much action for the last two years. Now, he may play next year or he may not. Before, that would have been an unexpected thought. But now that it's mentioned, it makes wonderful sense, particularly if Xzavier Ward is stepping up at RT. Dantzler shows promise, but a redshirt year could prove crucial later on. Remember how important that last year Fernando Velasco had thanks to a midcareer redshirt? Besides, we already have Theus, Beard, Gates, Andrews, Lee, Burnette, Ward, and both Longs, among others. That's 3+ players able to rotate in at T, 3+ able to work in at G, and 2+ able to handle C. If healthy all year, that's a solid starting set with backups able to rotate in to stay fresh. If healthy, a redshirt year for Dantzler could be huge for both. Because healthy and we have a solid line, and 2 years from now when Theus, Beard, Gates, Andrew, Lee, and Burnette are all graduated and moved on, a 5th yr senior Dantzler could be as much a cornerstone of the unit as Bubba Velasco was in 2007 and 2008.

Auburn Busted....The Death Penalty Coming?

2013-04-04T11:36:00.000-04:00

Literally everyone.......everywhere........for years now......not a few years......but decades......has been in hot pursuit of Auburn. Just like Ol' Buford T. Justice everyone keeps coming up empty handed.

As the pursuor might I say Auburn that you are the dangdest pursuee I have ever pursued.

It turns out now that lid is being blown right off the pot of iniquity that is the University of Auburn. Check the story that started here and goes on here and here for outside sources........credible sources that is. Now everyone will be jumping on this and hoping that they will get to dance on the grave of the Auburn program. Let me caution everyone - Auburn ain't done yet! In fact let me know when they are actually done because I am not running down this rabbit hole, again.

So who was the original whistle blower that exposed Auburn-gate XXXIV? We have a few ideas:

If I can't attend a live game for 3 years then guess what.......y'all aint never gonna have one to attend ever again! Oh, you think that is an extreme reaction? Well guess what that is how The Updyke rolls, son!

If this does stick then guess what Auburn.....
UPDYKE - 2
AUBURN- 0

New Logo and Uniforms.......Nike Listens to the Cold Blooded Ones.

2013-04-03T16:22:00.001-04:00

Well it would appear that Nike is at it again and we are going to get new uniforms and logos Betwixt the Hedges:

These look awesome and do you know why? Because they look the same! My only complaint about the current uniforms is that the helmet can have an orange-ish sheen during day games sometimes so hopefully that got corrected.
Mercifully.....Nike took our advise from back in August of 2011....here...and here.
In taking our advise Nike avoided rolling out another of the brain seizure triggering partial birth abortions that were the "Pro Combat" Uniforms:

Of course Nike did not have to hear about it too long because the football team then went out on the field and delivered a full on back closet, metal coat hanger of an abortion in the Georgia Dome.
Naturally, we had tons of morons who got on here and told us all about how we needed these abominations to recruit young black kids who love the new look. How could we argue with that logic....I mean as soon as Alabama got all futuristic and trendy they started getting tons of recruits....right?

Have a good Easter weekend everyone, and a good Good Friday.

2013-03-29T12:13:00.001-04:00

Are Clemson Fans the Most Gay of All Fans?

2013-03-26T16:30:00.000-04:00

With everyone turning their attention towards the Supreme Court and wondering will they continue to use the 10th Amendment of the Constitution as their collective toilet paper.....we here at S&G would like to continue our expose on Clampsun Fans, the most homo-erotic of all fans.

A few months ago we brought you this little bit of linkage gold. Now do not click that unless you are prepared to see something that your eyes can never unsee.......an abomination......something that would make a hot tube tickle fight between Barney Frank and Liberace look like the most heterosexual thing ever. Now your man on the streets, CCRider, is back to bring you even more evidence of what we are calling "Operation Clemsoooooooo Gay".

Now as we all know the leader of the slack jawed inbred University of Clampsun fanbase is this guy:

This is Clampsun Toomie and apparently he is the world's super heavyweight champion of professional douche baggery. Now I know what you are saying right now:

"CC how could you? That poor young man has Downs and here you are making fun of him."
Well chromosome issues aside Clampsun Toomie may have recently been spotted in Warshingtune, Day Cee taking his unique skills to Capital Hill. The visual evidence if you will:

Clampsun Toomie and his fiance outside of the Supreme Court protesting for Civil Rights?

Clampsun Toomie and his fiance out side of "The Real Death Valley"?

And to think we always thought it was the Sakelina faithful that had the unhealthy obsession with Cocks.

Les Miles understands that Les Miles believes that Les Miles is of the understanding from his OC Cam Cameron that Les Miles is impressed with Z-Metts

2013-03-26T09:02:00.000-04:00

So Lester is loving his chief breast firmness inspector of late according to this report.

"I REFUSE TO WATCH GAME OF THRONES BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE IT IS GAME OF GAY!"

“He made a couple of intuitive throws today.........so yeah a few of his throws had a sexual relationship with a member of the throws immediate family?" ~ Les Miles on Z-Metts.

Miles was also impressed with his OC Cam Cameron.....so much so that he may not fire Cameron until after the 2014 season as opposed to the 2013 season. Lesure was also raving about the fact that the student body government finally heard his request to have two full rows of Honey Buns in all athletic department snack machines. Quoted on the matter Lesure said:

"They have an entire row of nuts........nuts......peanuts, cashews, pistachios, fancy nut mix, and sodium free peanuts. How many nuts do you need? You know what is never sold out? Nuts! You know what always sold out? Honey Buns! I believe in an economic system based on the free market. I believe in supply and demand. You supply more Honey Buns and people will keep demanding them...it simple physics really. What would really be a good idea is if in the athletic department you had football shaped Honey Buns.........you know I don't think football shaped Honey Buns exist.......I just invented that.......perhaps I have said too much."

Miles then quickly drafted the following document.

He then demanded that everyone in the room sign it so as to ensure that his "Million Dollar idea wasn't stolen."

NO JUSTICE, NO PEACE!

2013-03-25T19:00:00.003-04:00

It is with a great deal of sorrow that your boy CC is forced to report on the greatest travesty of justice in recent memory. Harvey Updyke Jr., aka DALE FROM DADEVILLE, ROOOOOOOLLLLLLLLL TIIIIIIIIIIIDAH- was sentenced to three years probation with six months to be served and the remainder spent on probation. Granted Big Harv gets credit for 104 days served leaving only 76 days to be served unless the days served count as double and then basically no more jail time.

Most unconscionable of all is the fact that Harvey is not allowed to attend any live sporting events during this time in Babylonian Exile. So as a note: if a woman has five children by five different men and cannot identify a single one of the fathers- we cannot sterilize her despite the burden on the tax payer because it is her civil right. However, you kill a couple of trees and all of a sudden you can't show up in Tuscaloosa dressed like the above..............some justice, huh?

So where does this rate in the history of American injustice? See our rankings below:

1. Abraham Lincoln's invasion of the South and murder of scores of Southern Americans,
2. The Trail of Tears,
3. Slavery,
4. The Oppression of Harvey Updyke,
5. FDR's entire presidency,
6. Every decision of the Warren Court,
7. Justice Roberts vote to uphold Obama Care.

Stay Strong Harvey...................We shall overcome!

Top Candidates to Replace Mal Moore as AD at the University of Alabama

2013-03-22T16:00:00.000-04:00

Legendary Alabama AD Mal Moore is retiring due to health concerns, and by health concerns we mean his testicles have grown so large that the amount of blood required to circulate down to them is slowly killing the rest of his body. Alabama will now have to replace Moore but they will face some serious challenges in this process. Challenges like the fact that in our ever more sissified and politically correct world it is getting almost impossible to find a grown man with an actual pair. Additionally, Alabama will need to find a personality large enough to stand beside Le Petite Dictator without being crushed beneath his iron will. It appears that the top four contenders each possess one of the required personality traits but none seem to have all the things that the insatiable Bammeroids demand.

1. DICK CHENEY- FORMER ~~VICE~~ PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES

Character Trait - Not Giving a Flying Monkey Fudge What Anyone Thinks

Reasons Why He May Not Get The Job- A complete failure to understand why he cannot order the Alabama National Guard to invade Mississippi, burn it to the ground, and take all of its recruits.

If you have not watched "The World According to Dick Cheney" on Showtime you need to......right now. I am not saying that I agree or disagree with Dick but I am saying that Dick did what Dick wanted and if you don't like it please allow Dick to inform you that you may go to a dark room and fornicate with yourself just before getting butt-hole cancer. Alabama simply must have someone who spends approximately 0:00 of his life even considering what the SEC, NCAA, ESPN or anyone else thinks.

2. BENJAMIN NETANYAHU- PRIME MINISTER OF ISRAEL

Character Trait- Keeping Cool Despite Being Surrounded by Haters

Reason Why He May Not Get The Job- Having an insane 5,000 year old rivalry with an opposing religious group and living in daily nuclear brinkmanship with all of your surrounding nation states may not make Bibi quite tough enough for the SEC.

So you are the leader of a Nation that is the big dog in its geographic region and all of your neighbors are insane zealots who have sworn a Hannibal Barca-like blood oath to see that your nation is brought to total and complete ruination............that is what we like to call a Tuesday in the off-season here in the SEC. The problem here is the fact that Bibi has not wiped out the entire population of even one of these nations. In other words he might be a little "soft" for Alabama. Now if he goes balls out and nukes the living daylights out of Iran he might get a little stronger consideration down in Tuscaloosa. Oh who are we kidding until Bibi starts believing in Jesus his chances are slim and none.

3. KIM JONG UN- GRORIOUS READER OF NORF KOREA

Character Trait- A complete inability to do basic math and a total disconnect between how awesome he thinks he is and how awesome he actually is.

Reason Why He May Not Get The Job- The persistent threat that he may fire Saban and replace him with Dennis Rodman

This one is simply going to come down to experience. Lil' Kim may be too young and may not have enough experience pressing his unrelenting will upon an entire group of people, yet. At this point I could see Alabama considering him for an assistant AD position but not the actual AD. Plus I think we have to come to grips with the fact that Alabama may not be socially ready for a "Chinaman" to be in charge.

4. TAYLOR SWIFT- DESTROYER, BRINGER OF DEATH, ANNIHILATOR OF INNOCENCE, AND UNRELENTING FORCE OF EVIL THAT IS STEADILY CONSUMING THE WORLD
Character Trait- An unrelenting evil that is capable of the most cruel and unusual ways in which to force her will upon the masses......able to do all of this with a cordial Southern smile.

Reason Why She May Not Get The Job- The Lord may return and defeat her and her forces at the battle of Armageddon.

People often forget that Lucifer was once a beautiful angel that spent his days singing praises unto God. The Devil is now a Lion roaming the earth looking to devour who he can. So you have to understand that the above picture is most likely exactly what the Devil would look like were he to manifest himself. The problem with Alabama going the all out evil route is that Swift could become so obsessed with crushing the spirit of humanity that she could easily turn on Bammeroids and drive their football program into the ground......thus bringing about the greatest sorrow Alabama could ever know.

"So you had a bad day..."

2013-03-21T19:29:00.002-04:00

Surprised at Jarvis Jones' numbers from UGA's Pro Day today. A 4.9 means he's probably not going in the top 10 in the draft, but he's still a helluva player. I can only think of Anquan Boldin, who had a similarly horrible 40 time but has had a helluvan NFL career.

No more anonymous commenting for a bit

2013-03-21T08:00:00.000-04:00

Our (months) old posts are getting commented on by spammers a lot. I'm tired of deleting them, so anonymous commenting is out for a little while to curb that crap. Sorry for any inconvenience.

We miss you, Lewis

2013-03-20T14:08:00.000-04:00

The good folks at Grit Tree reminded us, today is the day Lewis Grizzard passed away. Sadness, but much respect to Grit Tree for keeping his work alive. The man was, and still is, the only redeeming quality of that not even good enough for toilet paper newspaper known as the AJC.

You can see some of his old work here, at lewisgrizzard.com. And now, for some videos, starting with the Dog joke, and followed by a flawless imitation of a Yankee....

The best. Perhaps Ever?

2013-03-12T13:41:00.000-04:00

KCP has been given the SEC Player of the Year award by the coaches. Kentavious Caldwell-Pope earned it the hard way, leading Georgia back to respectability, and winning a game with 5 a side almost singlehandedly. He is the first Georgia player to ever win the award, as Dominique Wilkins won an SEC PoY from the media before the coaches started giving the award in the late 80s.

Congrats KCP, now please, one more year!

What will we need in the 2014 class?

2013-02-28T12:30:00.000-05:00

True, signing day is less than a month past, but recruiting never ends. And we already have commitments from a WR (Krenwick Sanders), RB (Stanley Williams) and DB (Nick Glass). So what should Georgia be targetting in a likely small class come 2014? We go position by position below.

QB- 1 - We return Mason, Lemay, Bauta, and Ramsey here. You always want to keep 1 in every class for depth, and if Brice Ramsey wins the job next spring, we might need to load up in 2015 should Lemay transfer. But adding 1 here should be more than enough to keep the depth chart strong.

TB- 2 - Gurshall will be rising juniors, with promising incoming players Turman and Douglas behind them. But you need better depth than 4, and expecting Todd Gurley to leave after his junior season, if not both Gurley and Marshall, isn't a stretch. So we'll need to sign at least two solid rushers here to keep the depth chart strong going forward. We've already got a scat back type in Williams, and if he stays true, that should provide the speedy, Marshall-type, option, with the need for a bigger and more physical compliment to join him.

FB- 1 or none - We may be able to fill the spot with walk-ons, as has been very successful under Richt with current FB Merrit Hall, as well as guys like JT Wall and Jeremy Thomas in the past. Adding one to work in with Hall and Quayvon Hicks would be nice, or if a current walk-on or 2 look like they can fill the job should need be, we can save this spot for elsewhere.

TE- 2 - Arthur Lynch will graduate, leaving behind Rome, Flourney-Smith, and Davis. Flourney-Smith's recent legal issues shouldn't be too much, so hopefully he overcomes them and gets back on track. But just 3 isn't enough. They'll all have at least two years of eligibility left, so we might be able to get away with signing just 1 kid here. But Georgia has no shortage of 6'3+, 235+ athletes around them, and with the increasing prominence of using TEs in an offense and the threats they provide, adding a strong pair here would be a good idea moving forward.

WR- 1-2 - This isn't quite the need it'll be in 2015. We'll want to add one or two, to keep the depth chart solid moving forward, but the need just won't be that strong in 2014. We already have Sanders on board, so one more to join him would be fine, especially if we can land an elite guy. But with 2014 seniors Rumph, Mitchell, Conley, and Bennett (assuming Malcolm Mitchell doesn't have a big year and go pro), joined by a bevy of talented kids in the last two signing classes, the need isn't strong here. Expect us to need to load up in 2015 at WR though.

OT- 2? -This spot is a bit of a mystery. John Theus will be returning for his junior season, as will Mark Beard (who can also play G). But does Devondre Seymour qualify? Or if not, does he come back after a year at prep school, or have to spend 2 in JUCO? Are Xzavier Ward and Zach Debell still fighting for playing time? Is Aulden Bynum at T or G? Does Kolton Houston ever get out of NCAA purgatory? These are questions no one can answer right now. You'd want at least 2, because you need to continually keep the OL depth strong, and sign 4 OL in every class. But we could be OK with just 2, or if some of those questions have bad answers, be targetting 3 or 4 OT in the 2014 class.

C/G- 2-3? - Just like above, this is a big question mark. We'll lose starters Burnette, Lee, and Gates. But is Beard or Bynum helping here? How does Kublanow and Cardiello look? Is Houston able to play, and is so, is he at G or T? Does John Atkins stick on the DL, or shift to the OL? Just a bunch of unaswerable questions here again. Judging by the depth, we'll need at least 2 interior OL, if not 3 or 4. Likely at least 3, just to keep numbers strong. With guys graduating or nearing graduation, having a strong, and large, OL class is right there with adding an elite rusher as the primary needs for offensive recruiting in 2014.

DL- 3+ - We'll return some strong players, but they'll be nearing graduation and we'll need to solidify depth here. With the last class loading up at LB and DB, this is the biggest need to be filled on the defensive side of the ball. Expect a lineman heavy class in 2014.

OLB- 1 or 2 - Depending on how some of the kids step up, this is a spot where keeping depth strong is a good idea, especially if Jordan Jenkins blows up and is looking like a potential NFL early entrant after his junior season. But the need for instant impact is likely minimal provided Jenkins, as well as guys like Josh Dawson, Leonard Floyd, and Davin Bellamy are looking as advertised.

ILB- 1 or 2 - Same as OLB. We've just added a strong class here, so the need isn't huge, and the need for instant impact players minimal so long as the freshman play like they're capable. Where Josh Harvey-Clemons plays impacts these numbers a bit, but while you always want to keep strong options at LB under, we'll have rising seniors in Herrera and Wilson, as well as the freshman Carter, O'Neal, Rankin, and Kimbrough. A 3 man LB class should be good enough, especially if we can land a future star like Raekwon McMillan in the group.

CB- 1 or 2 - Second verse, same as the first here. Just like LB, we've loaded up in the last class, making the need somewhat minimal here. If Damien Swann has a season strong enough to consider going pro, the need increases. But we'd still have Devin Bowman and Sheldon Dawson, to go with incoming guys Wiggins, Langley, Green, and Wilkerson, as well as JUCO Kennar Johnson who could end up at CB or S. You'll want to sign at least 1, to keep the depth chart full in case someone leaves prematurely, or if JJ Green shows too much ball skills not to play offense full time. But the need isn't that strong, provided everyone pans out as expected and if Swann returns for his senior season.

S- 1 or 2 - Third verse, same as the first. We'll bring back Moore, Fluker, Matthews, Mauger, Bostick, Deas, and maybe Kennar Johnson. Fluker, Deas, and Johnson will be rising seniors, so you'll want to sign at least 1 to keep the depth chart solid and to keep 2015 from being a huge need like 2013 was here. But if we bring in Nick Glass, that could be more than enough talent to keep the spot as strong as we've grown accustomed to with Jermaine Phillips, Sean Jones, Thomas Davis, Greg Blue, Tra Battle, Rambo and Williams and the other stars Richt has had here. We may have some guys leave prematurely, but otherwise, we should be able to get by with a minimal DB class of say 3 guys.

K/P/Sn- 0 - Collin Barber, Marshall Morgan, and Nathan Theus will all have mulitple years of eligibility left at these spots, so there's no need to look for anything more than walk-ons to work in here for at least another year or two.

Summary - Don't expect a big class, maybe 15, 20 at most but probably less than that. We need lineman in a big way, so it likely won't be highly rated either. We've got a nice start with Glass, Williams, and Sanders, and there is a ton elite talent already getting attention. Thanks to last year's monster crew, we can focus on just a couple at select spots, and target the truly elite talents to fill those few needs. A class somewhat similar to the 2012 crew is the likely haul in my uneducated opinion.

The silence from Columbia is defeaning

2013-02-26T14:50:00.002-05:00

Last year, schedule schedule schedule was the cry from Steve Spurrier and his followers. It's not fair, they are just out to get us, they don't want us crashing the party, JUST LOOK AT THE SCHEDULE! Meanwhile, people with sense laughed, and said this crap is cyclical, you'll get an easy slate soon enough, and you've just been such crap in the past you never noticed it before. Fast forward a short couple months, and why isn't Spurrier crying about the schedule anymore? No theories on how fair it would be to just use SEC East results to determine the SEC East Champ when they go to Athens instead of hosting the Dawgs? I guess ol' Steven was full of shii when he started spouting his nonsense last summer. For the record, the Gamecocks slate for 2013 sets up quite nicely, especially compared to a Georgia team that travels to Clemson before facing the Chicken Penii, then hosts LSU and travels to an improved Auburn instead of facing the dumpster fire that fogs Fayetteville. South Carolina gets their usual Thursday night spotlight in the season opener when they host North Carolina. That gives them a few extra days to prepare, and heal, and to all watch Georgia on Saturday, before making the trip to Athens in week 2. They get Mississippi St, [off week] then Florida, Coastal Carolina and Clemson all in Williams-Brice in November. Their road trips, aside from the Dawgs? Orlando for Central Florida, and a 3 game stretch in October @ Arkansas, Tennessee, and Missouri. When they fail to win the East, again, what do you think the excuse will be this time?

I'm hypnotized by the jiggling

2013-02-25T10:54:00.001-05:00

CC is our resident expert on the meat market that is loving men in tight shorts, but I thought I'd share this amazing video of the beauty of 40 running, found at SBNation. It's glorious, and I just can't look away.

And we add a DL

2013-02-19T16:32:00.001-05:00

JUCO DL Toby Johnson gives a much needed one more big body to the DL.