SPORTS AND GRITS

And while we're on the subject of baseball

2012-02-16T14:15:00.000-05:00

Don't forget, the Diamond Dawgs have opening day tomorrow night against Presbyterian. Let the Green House get to rocking again!

Better news: Eastbound and Down is back Sunday night

2012-02-16T13:30:00.002-05:00

The third and final season of Eastbound and Down begins Sunday night on HBO, with our hero, Kenny Powers enjoying the Redneck Riviera that is Myrtle Beach. We've been looking forward to this even more than the soon return of Game of Thrones in April.

Don't Embarrass Yourself, Son! This Week Is Becoming JB Week

2012-02-16T08:39:00.000-05:00

Just like all heterosexual men over the age of 21 I had never heard of Bruno Mars before I was told that he tried to dress and dance like James Brown at the Grammy's earlier this week.

You can dress like Soul Brotha #1 but please don't embarrass yourself past that kid.

Sanders Commings Suspended.........Native Americans Are People To You Know!

2012-02-16T06:00:00.001-05:00

We will be without Sanders against Buffalo and Missouri.......well that ain't too bad at least we won't lose him against a Conference opponent......wait what.......Missouri? In the SEC? That's crazy talk.

Most disturbing about this story is:
a) We suspended a starter with no "real" NCAA violation, and
b) The Native American culture and way of life is still, in 2012, being oppressed.

Sanders is a young brave in the Slapahoe tribe and his culture dictates that when shawtys be trippin they be gettin a fat lippin.

It's crazy how much our quaint little blog affects the day to day life of the Georgia program. Yesterday we drop a little James Brown love and next thing you know we lose a starter for Gettin' Up Offa That Thang JB style and disciplining his mouthy woman.

For real though...these Hoes be trippin, dog!

In a battle of incompetence, South Carolina wins

2012-02-16T05:07:00.002-05:00

well, that was ugly. The old Georgia team showed back up, the one that struggles to rebound, where Gerald Robinson makes horrible decisions like he did with 11 seconds left, and the team goes a Felton-like 5+ minutes without scoring.

At least we had last week.

Get them tickets! Hartman Fund Deadline is today

2012-02-15T11:45:00.001-05:00

so if you're ordering season tickets, today is your cut down day.

Maryland LT Max Garcia may transfer to Georgia? Doubtful.

2012-02-15T11:15:00.003-05:00

It was in the AJC the other day. Basically, Max Garcia is joining the mass exodus away from Randy Edsall and the dumpster fire that is Maryland (who shoulda hired Mike Leach when they had the chance, pansies). But a quality OL is looking for a new home, and we could always use some OL. Garcia isn't ideal LT size, but he's done a good job there for the Terrapins the last two years, and could probably be effective anywhere on the OL. he's said he wants to transfer closer to home, and with Edsall restricting all ACC schools, plus Vanderbilt just to be a petty dick since they have former Maryland HC in waiting James Franklin making him look bad and his hire stupid, that makes Georgia an option. Richt has made contact, so there is mutual interest, and a quality OL would be a great addition.

That said, I just don't see us becomming his school of choice. Maybe South Carolina or Tennessee, since Tech isn't an option. But if Garcia factors in playing time, we just don't have it. At least not right away. If he has some family medical issues that would make him eligible to play immediately, it'd be a great fit, and he could start at LT letting John Theus redshirt. But if not, and he had to have a mandatory redshirt season, that just leaves too much competition. In that scenario, by the time he could play in 2013, we'd have a sophomore Theus probably locked in at LT, returning SRs at LG and RG in Dallas Lee and Chris Burnette. A returning starter at C in David Andrews, and a returning starter at RT in Watts Dantzler, or Kenarious Gates, or Mark Beard. And whoever of those 3 wasn't starting at RT would give solid depth, along with the Xzavier Ward and Zach Debell as more prototypical tackles, plus the Long brothers, Pyke, maybe Kolton Houston, and several others.

It'd been great if we landed Garcia out of high school. Or if we could have landed him before last year. He'd still be a good fit if he could play right away giving us the luxury of redshirting Theus (and as good as he is, every lineman can benefit from redshirting). But as it looks, this seems like something that just isn't a good fit, and I'd think he ends up at an SEC school in a bordering state (UT, SC, Aub, or Fla).

Basketball, tonight, in Soda City vs. the Chicken Penii, 7 pm on CSS

2012-02-15T10:25:00.000-05:00

That's right, the headline says it all. We play at South Carolina tonight on CSS at 7.

Darrin Horn is doing a wonderful job over in Columbia, or at least all opposing coaches think he's doing a wonderful job, and you should not only keep him around, but lock him up on a new 10 year extension Eric Hyman.

Georgia is coming off back to back wins for the first time since Winthrop and Delaware St in late December, so we're feeling good right about now. Gerald Robinson is becoming more effecient, Kentavious Caldwell-Pope is blasting through that freshman wall like the KoolAid man, and our big men are starting to work the glass. Fox's hounds are playing by far the best they have all year, after bursting Arkansas' bubble, then upsetting a top 20 and very talented Mississippi St in Starkville (and has there ever been a better name for a town considering stark means "harsh, grim, or desolate, as a view, place, etc"). So not only are we warming up, but the Poultry are cooling off.

South Carolina has lost their last 5 games, and 9 of their last 10, with their only W being a buzzer beater against the inconsistent Alabama. As for their roster, since WR Bruce Ellington rejoined the team after football season, they've added someone who can work from the outside. He'll be a good matchup for Gerald Robinson. They struggle offensively in a big way, and struggle rebounding the ball in a big way. So if we revert back to our form from 2 weeks ago, it'll be a contest to see who's the most incompetent. If we play like we have the last week, it could be a blowout. Of note, they have two players Fox recruited very hard, in sophomore C Damontre Harris and freshman wing Damien Leonard. So it's not like they don't have talent. It's not great, but they have solid players. Coaching has been a huge issue, and if they weren't hurt up for cash after building a new baseball stadium and leveraging several other facilities improvements in the last few years, Horn would be as good as gone within 30 days. But they are South Carolina, and always lack the cash to play with the big boys, so Horn's buyout is something they can't afford, and they'll just suffer for another year or two unless a big Chicken wants to cut a big check.

Get Up Offa That Thang!

2012-02-15T06:55:00.001-05:00

And dance till you feel better! It's Wednesday and I just found this awesome pic of the Godfather!

Call the Augusta Mall and Ask Them Why They Hate the Georgia Bulldogs So Much!

2012-02-15T06:53:00.000-05:00

In fact call them right now at (706) 733-1001. Or click here to send them a stern e-mail.

J.B. White store at the Regency Mall. Back when a mall was a mall and before Dillards fagged up the Whites.

Augusta used to be just like Chris Rock says-- a place that has two malls "the mall white people go to and the mall that white people used to go to." The mall that white people used to go to in Augusta was the Regency Mall. Now as you can imagine I am not a big fan of malls on account of my having a penis and everything; but as a kid that grew up with a mother, a young man with girl friends, and now a slightly less young man with a wife I have been in a few over the years. With those credentials I can safely say that the Regency Mall is the side boobage of all malls. If you want proof here is undeniable proof as I remember it from childhood:

It had 2 count em' 2 toy stores! A KB Toys and a Playland Toys, greatness!
It had a pizza place that was a store that you actually walked into with tables and everything. None of this "food court" pizza crap.
It had an ice cream shop that was a store that you actually walked into with tables and everything. None of this "food court" ice cream crap.
Everything was painted a soothing and masculine doo-doo brown because brown goes with everything.
It had a store called "Ol' Calcutta" and it sold nunchucks, ninja stars, and basically everything you need to be super awesome.
At Christmas if the line to see Santa was too long you could just head on down to see Rudolph! Oh, I didn't stutter Rudolph the Motherlovin' Reindeer was all up in that Humpty-Bumpty. They had a real reindeer inside of a wooden fence with a little red and green barn and if you walked around to the back of the barn there was Rudolph. One time some kid tried to say it was just a puppet but that dickhead probably didn't get anything for Christmas that year.

Anyway the Regency Mall had one fatal flaw.......it was built within City Bus/1974 Buick Regal driving distance from public housing. That is white people code for the ghetto.....which is white people code for a bunch of poor black people who don't pay for their housing or food.... so they don't need a job..... so they hang out at the mall all day long committing crimes. Well long story short the mall tried to stop the buses and they got called racists (just like I am about to be called in the comment section below). Eventually all that "being within City Bus/1974 Buick Regal driving distance from public housing" caused the department stores to close and resulted in their being nothing left except for 17 different Foot Lockers, a store that sold cheap suits with 11 buttons on the coat, a place called the "Nubian Hair Connection", and a Chinese Restaurant that said it had all sorts of stuff on its menu but really only sold chicken wings and "ernge chicken" (which is surprisingly similar in taste to Orange Chicken). In the end Augusta was left with a brightly painted mall that had only one toy store and didn't even dabble in the booming nunchuck retail industry.
In fact there are really only three reasons to ever be in the Augusta Mall:

The person who you made an oath to God to be with forever before you read the fine print about her spending all of your money and crushing your spirit makes you go, or
You are about to partake in "business" lunch at the Chop House and yes you do need a receipt because this is about to get wrote the F off of my taxes, or
You need to go into Hometeam Sports to buy something....anything....with a Georgia Bulldog logo on it.

I went in the other day because Mrs. Rider thought it would be okay to put a zebra print shower curtain in my newly completed Man-Cave bathroom again with the fine print. Needless to say you can't be very Cold-Blooded with a zebra print shower curtain....unless of course it is from a real zebra that you hunted and killed on the Serengeti during and African Safari you took with LSU defensive end Barkevious Mingo. So I went into Hometeam Sports because I needed something (a shower curtain) with a Georgia logo on it. Of course they had one but they also had a "store closing" sign up as well. Turns out that Augusta Mall wants a king's ransom for the use of one of their store fronts and Hometeam just can't continue to afford it. Look Augusta Mall you can't put the squeeze on peoples balls while Barry is up in the White House......everyone is broke. To make matters worse you are talking about putting the squeeze to people who are doing the Lawrd's work! Where am I supposed to go to get a Georgia Bulldog back scratcher or framed painting of a baby sitting on a Georgia helmet with a little baby headset on and Larry Munson with angel wings smiling down on him from Heaven at?
These is hard times Augusta Mall so quit being gigantic queef sniffers and cut Hometeam Sports a break, you are already about 2 Foot Lockers away from being the mall white people used to go to as it is.
Big Dust......tell em about Hard Times!

I Are Plotting A New Offense.

2012-02-15T06:45:00.009-05:00

Fiwst off all Me would wike to congwadulate mines good fwiend Wiwwie Mawtinwez cause he has fooweled yet anotter team into giving he a job.
Wiwwie is uh basebaw genie! Me are wooking foward to matching wits against such a woofie anniversawee.
Now evewy otter OC on evewy otter basketball team in da SEC will be frowing da balls against Awwburn. So I wonduah what Me's pwan will be.................................................what you say? Wun da baseball tween da tackles..............how for did you guess? Shhhhhhh.....don't tell anynobodies for da ewament of suwpise are mines gweatest stwengfh.

4 Star Recruits and Chicken Tortilla Soup........You Doubt the Power of S.Truett Cathy?

2012-02-14T11:06:00.000-05:00

Someone told STC that Mexican food is popular right now. In true Cathy form STC said "ok well I will make something Mexican." The result:

Delicioso, Ole!

Oh it ain't just spicy chicken noodle soup, oh no. STC takes it to the house Georgia style and gives you a little bag of Doritos to sprinkle on top of the soup. Clampsun and Mexico are both now on notice that they had best to get their acts together and recognize before STC ruins their lives.

UGA Action Figures......You Can Take It To Da' Lake at Home!

2012-02-14T09:53:00.000-05:00

The McFarlane Toy Company makes a number of sports based action figures. A few years ago they decided to start making a yearly set of Action Figures (THEY ARE NOT DOLLS!) featuring current NFL stars in their college uniforms. They have since made three sets of these college Action Firgures and each set is riddled with SEC players (they should all be SEC players because I am sure that SEC country is the only place where these things are in-demand). The first set included Hines Ward in his Georgia uniform. This summer there will be a new set including Cam Newton- Auburn, Tim Tebow 2nd figure- Florida, Peyton Manning 2nd figure- Tennessee, and this little bit of greatness:

Now I am not telling you how to play with your Action Figures but I would buy Manning, Tebow, and Newton......then I would use my "Munson Voice" and have all three scramble around, throw the ball, and have Champ stick em' for a pick six. Then of course I would have Champ dance around while singing

"So I can get to stompin' in my Air Force Ones, Big Boy!"

McFarlane also makes an NFL set every year and just in time for Christmas you can get:

THE SEXAY BEAST HIMSELF!

Again, not to tell you how to roll with your figures but.......you could buy a couple of Barbi dolls in bikinis, fill the tub up with water, and have the Sexay Beast TAKE IT TO DA' LAKE!

Congrats to Gerald Robinson

2012-02-14T09:40:00.000-05:00

SEC Player of the Week after scoring 40 points leading the Dawgs to big wins over Arkansas and Mississippi St last week. He's had his ups and downs, and we've been critical of his play, but he's been tremendous the last 2 games. Well earned good chap.

Video of Mark Fox's newest PG commit: Ludowici's JJ Frazier

2012-02-14T09:33:00.001-05:00

Mark Fox secured a commit from 2013 PG, 5'something JJ Frazier out of southeast Georgia. Below are the youtube videos of the speedy playmaker.

S&G the First Major College Football Institution Since the Big X to Get a New Logo.

2012-02-14T08:53:00.000-05:00

See above.

Yeah its awesome.

Anabolic Steroids- check

Murdering Opposition- check

Saving Murdered Oppositions Heads as Trophies- check

Paying da' Cost to be da' Boss- check

Auburns Gots the AIDS! Is BVG Still On Our Payroll?

2012-02-14T08:49:00.000-05:00

EEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's gross Auburn! Your AIDS is showing. Your football AIDS that is.

BVG is the gift that keeps on giving. Not only did he field some of the most blood-thirsty defensive units in Georgia history he is now acting as a covert double agent and infecting Auburn with the football AIDS. Now when BVG bolts in two or three seasons guess who will be in-line to take over as DC?

Seth Emerson with Travis Leslie and Trey Thompkins

2012-02-14T06:21:00.002-05:00

the two former Georgia stars are reserve depth for the Clippers this year. When they stopped in Charlotte, Seth Emerson stopped in to speak with them. His clips are here, and a full story here.

On Kentavious Caldwell-Pope.
"Don't play to get drafted," [Thompkins] said. "Play college basketball. It'll take care of itself. Everything will take care of itself. Just focus on getting your team as deep into the tournament and the best record you can get. Whatever you can do to focus on that, do it. Take away everything that you possibly can."

On any regrets.
“At Georgia, we were the big men on campus. I miss that. But you gotta move on sometimes,” Thompkins says.
Leslie smiles and nods his head.
“It used to be nice that you walked in the room and everybody knew who you are,” Thompkins continues. “But I mean now, we’re the lowest guys on the totem pole.”

Closing thoughts to Georgia fans.
Thompkins: “We love you, we miss you.”
Leslie: “We’ll always be Georgia Bulldogs.”
Thompkins: “Best three years of our lives.”
Leslie: “I wouldn’t take it back for anything.”

Click the above links for full details and stories.

Who's got two thumbs and isn't worried about Van Gorder?

2012-02-14T06:09:00.004-05:00

how worried are you now? With the Diggler back in charge, they'll be fundamentally sound, and good if Trooper can recruit for him. But bringing ol Two Thumbs to run the secondary? Yeah, it worked great 7 years ago, but his units have been a far cry from those 01-05 crews since then.

Who's got two thumbs and is glad to see Willie Martinez back in the SEC? This guy.

Now let's just make sure we can keep Auburn on the schedule at least until the Chizik staff gets fired in a few years.

Diamond Dawgs on TV

2012-02-13T15:10:00.002-05:00

Georgia will have 17 baseball games televised, and several more available online through the subscriptiopn service Gtv. This weekend's opening series with Presbyterian will all be available to watch live online (see the above link for more details). The TV games will be:
March 10 vs. UCLA (CSS), 2 p.m. ET

March 20 vs. Ga. Tech (CSS), 7 p.m. ET

March 27 vs. Clemson (CSS), 7 p.m. ET

March 31 vs. Kentucky (FSSO), 4 p.m. ET

April 11 @ Clemson (CSS), 7 p.m. ET

April 12 vs. Ole Miss (ESPNU), 7:30 p.m. ET

April 20 @ Florida (CSS), 7 p.m. ET

April 21 @ Florida (CSS) 8 p.m. ET

April 22 @ Florida (ESPN2), 3 p.m. ET

April 24 vs. &Ga. Tech (FSN or SPSO), 7 p.m. ET

April 27 @ LSU (COX), 8 p.m. ET

April 28 @ LSU (CSS), 7:30 p.m. ET

April 29 @ LSU (ESPN2), 2 p.m. ET

May 4 vs. Auburn (SPSO), 7 p.m. ET

May 5 vs. Auburn (CSS), 4 p.m. ET

May 9 @ Ga. Tech (CSS), 7 p.m. ET

May 12 vs. South Carolina (CSS), 1 p.m. ET

We wanted a corner, and we got a corner

2012-02-13T11:19:00.001-05:00

Best CB in the state according to most, Shaq Wiggins. Are we the only ones who've noticed how much better recruiting has been since Sportsandgrits arrived on the scene?

Where did this basketball team come from?

2012-02-13T07:30:00.000-05:00

After struggling all year, the last two games have seen a vastly improved men's hoops team out of Georgia. The Fox Hounds continued their strong run Saturday with a win in Starkville, over a top 20 Mississippi St squad.

The Bizarro Bulldawgs came in a horrible matchup problem, with talent where we have talent, and talent where we don't have talent. Georgia responded to the talent deficincies with hustle, especially on the glass.

Gerald Robinson has gotten much more efficient of late, and Kentavious Caldwell-Pope is blasting through that freshman wall with dominant all around games. KCP had 20 pts, 8 rebounds, 3 assists, and 0 turnovers. Georgia as a whole, in regulation and overtime had a mere 4 turnovers, which is outstanding. The best part of the day was essentially shutting down All-SEC big Arnett Moultrie, while bigs Donte' Williams, Marcus Thornton, and Nemi Djurisic combined for 20 pts and 20 rebounds.

Great, great, great job by the Dawgs Saturday getting a road win that can hopefully do wonders for this team's confidence level going forward. They've got another winnable game Wednesday in Soda City, South Carolina. At 7 on CSS, can the Dawgs make it 3 in a row? We're sitting 12-12 with 6 games to go. Stealing a sweep over the Chicken Penii, and then one more, gives this crew a potential NIT bid previously thought impossible as late as a week ago.

SEC Storied Episode 3-- ESPN Has Already Screwed Up the Un-Screw-Upable.

2012-02-13T07:00:00.001-05:00

So here is the deal ESPN decided to do a series on the SEC called storied. It would be an hour long docu-drama in the same fashion as their wildly popular 30 for 30 series. The premise seemed like something that no one no matter how bad they sucked could possible ruin.............Oh Ye of little faith. Don't you know there is literally nothing in this here world that ESPN can't ruin.

First off there is absolutely no rhyme or reason to when ESPN decides to air a new episode. In fact what you have to do is just hope that you happen to catch a new episode when they happen to show it. The first episode was excellent. It was about #34. You have a series about the SEC so you have to start with the most important sport, football and the SEC's all-time best at it, Herschel. The second was about Kramer's big gamble on an SEC championship game. So what would the third episode be about?

- Bear Bryant ? The Manning Family ? Don Hudson ? Billy Cannon ? Vince Dooley/Pat Dye?
- Will Clark/Rafael Palmeiro? 1990s LSU Baseball
- Adolph Rupp ? Pistol Pete ? Charles Barkley ? Shaq ?

NO! The third episode was about Nolan Richardson and Arkansas' National Title Team. Really!?!

Yes, really. If you haven't seen it yet I can sum it up for you because it like all things involving Nolan Richardson is about the following"

"ALL WHITE PEOPLE IN THE SOUTH ARE RAGING RACISTS AND EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD SHOULD HATE THEM!"

Now I can only assume that everyone at ESPN is super pissed that they have to carry SEC sporting events and make documentaries about the SEC. However, this is the type of thing that keeps yankee journalists going. They get to call the South racist........maybe if they say it enough and really really believe then they will get to go back in time and re-live 1968 (which is the wet dream of all journalists). Here is what a S&G interview with Nolan Richardson would look like:

S&G- Thanks for coming out for this interview Coach it is a pleasure to have you with us.

NR- Yeah it is nice to be here with all you crackers. Nicer since y'all ain't got me in chains.

S&G- Uhhhhhh...chains?

NR- Don't even act like you don't want all black people back in chains you slave wanting, honkey crackers!

S&G- Wait......what?

NR- Oh, I see you get a black man in front of your blue devil eyes and all of a sudden you don't get it!

S&G- Get what?

NR- 4,000 YEARS OF OPPRESSION THAT IS WHAT!

S&G- I'm lost.

NR- Yeah you are lost but now you're found you and all your white devil people here in the South.

S&G- Well the South isn't 4,000 years old.

NR- Oh I see now I don't know about math! I guess that's because I'm black, huh?

S&G- You know you're sorta' racist yourself.

NR- I can't be racist I'm black. I just hate white people because of the color of their skin.

S&G- Yeah that is the definition of a racist.

You're A Southerner for God's Sakes!

2012-02-13T06:58:00.000-05:00

Many many years ago our founding Fathers fought a war against the greatest military power of the day and won. Almost immediately the people who lived up North started trying to douche our new country up. The Chief Douche bag was named Alexander Hamilton and he wasn't even an American he was Jamaican or something. Anyway, Hamilton lived in New York and even then New York insisted upon itself. Hamilton would say things like:
"Well you know what I think.....I'm a New Yorker, mon.", and
"As a New Yorker.....I would say", and
"Oh I, and when I say I what I mean is New York, thought we fought this revolution so that we could screw this new country up, please pass the goat mon."

Luckily for America there were already Southerners hanging around and Brother TJ was all like:
"Shut the F-up Hamilton......Shut-the-F-Up!"

Anyway shortly after all this the yankees started running the biggest douche bag they could find for President and the South kept running someone awesome. Sometimes the Douche would win and sometimes the Southerner would win. Then out of the blue the Yankees found a communist out in Illinois, (not Obama that would come later) called him a Republican, and gave him the money to run in exchange for promising to invade the South and steal all our money. After that gigantic dick move the Yankees didn't let us run for office for about forty years.

Once the South could run candidates again we went right back to running awesome people. The awesome got so out of control that Yankees just started shooting the Southerners......like FDR had Huey Long shot.

Then we got sick of all that crap and made a deal with the yankees. "Y'all can have the Presidency and we'll just have the Vice Presidency. I mean you yankees are so much smarter than us y'all should have the Presidency." The yankees were all like "Yeah that sounds good you racists." Then the Vice President who was from Texas invited the President to come to Dallas and drive through a bunch of tall buildings, real slow, with the top down.

"WHAT!?!.....SHOT!?!...in my home State? Well lucky for us I happen to have this Bible on this plane with me so lets get this swearing me in ball rolling."

Well this 100% awesome and 100% true history of the Presidency of the United States was brought to you for a reason. (If you are in a high school American history class feel free to plagiarize this and prepare thyself for an A++++++++++++ on your term paper. )

The reason is because Super Tuesday is just right around the corner and the good people of Georgia, the inbreeders of Tennessee, and the wannabe Southerners of Oklahoma need to get out to the polls and vote for Newt Gingrich (R-GA)!

Now I know that Newt was not born in Georgia but he lived in Georgia for many a year (and now lives in Virginia). Your other choices are a former Senator from Pennsylvania and a Mormon Robot from Massachusetts. Now before the Ron Paul cult descends upon us......he is also a quasi-Southerner like Newt but has no real chance of winning despite picking up the biggest endorsement of any candidate.

Dave Chappell once said that his "Blackness" prevented him from ever saying OJ was guilty. Your "Southerness" should like-wise prevent you from ever voting for any yankee for anything.....ever....without exception........SO GO FORTH AND VOTE FOR NEWT-DAWG!

Legends of Cold Bloodedness-- Ty Cobb, Georgia's Original Cold Blooded One

2012-02-13T06:50:00.004-05:00

JUDO-KICK!

Tyrus Raymond Cobb was born in Narrows, Georgia in 1886. Ty was the son of Dr. William Herschel Cobb. Ty's father holds the distinction of being from Georgia and having both Herschel and Cobb in his name thus giving him super powers. Since William Cobb was what experts call a "Gigantic Butthole" he named his son after the ancient city of Tyre. Why? Simple Tyre refused to surrender to Alexander the Great and Ol' Billy Cobb respected a peoples who didn't fold up shop just because the largest and most well equipped army in the world was laying siege to their city walls. Now this simple fact should put you on notice that the Cobb children were not raised in a home where you didn't have to finish what you started........or where you got congratulated for coming in second place. In the end Dr. Cobb suspected Mrs. Cobb of gettin some of that outside stick so he pretended to go away on business; but snuck back into his own home later that night to catch Mrs. Cobb in the act. Well Mrs. Cobb was being 100% faithful but was also a 100% crack shot because as Dr. Cobb crept through the window to "catch" his wife in the act he instead caught the business end of a shotgun blast and died.
Cobb eventually landed on the Detroit Tigers roster but was subjected to tons of anti-Southern racism. Ty Cobb abhorred racism against white Southerners (by all accounts he was pretty much okay with all other forms of racism and may have even dabbled in it himself from time to time). Ty started fighting back by doing things like kicking people in crotch, punching them in the mouth, and slappin' tricks as if his name was Dolemite. Once it was established that Ty Cobb took about as much crap as Ray Lewis on Super Bowl Sunday outside of an Atlanta nightclub, the veterans left him alone and he started ripping it up. In 22 seasons Cobb essentially owned every record in baseball (90 to be exact):

-Highest career batting average (.366 or .367, depending on source)

-Most career batting titles with 11 (or 12, depending on source).

-Most career hits until 1985 (4,189 or 4,191, depending on source)

Most career runs (2,245 or 2,246 depending on source) until 2001

-Most career games played (3,035) and at bats (11,429 or 11,434 depending on source)

-Most career stolen bases (892) until 1977.

In 1909 Cobb won the Triple Crown by hitting .377 with 107 RBI and nine home runs – all inside-the-park. Cobb thus became the only player of the modern era to lead his league in home runs in a season without hitting a ball over the fence. At age 20 Cobb became the youngest player to ever win the batting crown, and after he called it quits Cobb received 98.2% of the vote (more than Babe Ruth) in the inaugural class of the MLB Hall of Fame. Cobb then received 100% of the vote in the inaugural class of the "Not Taking Anyone's Crap" Hall of Fame. At spring training in Augusta, Georgia in 1907 some lazy piece of turd grounds-keeper didn't have the field in immaculate condition when the Tigers prepared to take the field. As a result Cobb decided to break his foot off in the grounds-keeper's rectum. When the grounds-keepers wife tried to intervene she got choked out MMA style.

In the off-season between 1907 and 1908, Cobb negotiated with Clemson Agricultural College of South Carolina, offering to coach baseball there for $250 a month, provided that he did not sign with Detroit that season. Once Clampsun got all excited and started talking about how they had Cobb and how they had also turned down the SEC back in 1992......Cobb said "Oh I was just kidding." This started a long standing tradition of Cold Blooded Sausage Makers screwing with Clampsun's heads.

All this being awesome was more than most of Cobb's peers could deal with so they got super jealous. In fact they all got together and tried to screw Cobb over in 1910. That season the Chalmers Automobile Company was offering a brand new car to the winner of the batting crown. Cobb really wanted the car so that he could paint a Confederate Flag on the top, slide across the hood, climb into the car via the window, and drive around Georgia back roads with his Cousin shooting out Cops tires with a bow and arrow.
Going into the final days of the 1910 season, Cobb had an .004 lead on Nap Lajoie for the American League batting title. Cobb sat out the final games to preserve his average. Nap Lajoie played in a double header in which the opposing pitchers toss the ball to him under-handed. Lajoie had eight hits six of which were bunt singles. The opposing team refused to field the balls and allowed Lajoie the hits. In the end the Chalmers Company gave both men a car. They reasoned that eight hits seemed odd and also that they didn't want Cobb to burn the Chalmers Company to the ground.

On May 15, 1912 Cobb was involved in an incident for which he would become most infamous. While playing in New York Cobb was being heckled by a man named Claude Lueker. Lueker (obviously of an inferior yankee slavic blood line with that kind of surname) was running his mouth to Cobb for three innings. Cobb, being a true Gentleman, told the New York coach that if the man didn't shut up then he was going to curb stomp the dude American History X style. Lueker shouted out that Cobb was "a half nigger like all Southern boys." Cobb in a very calm manner climbed into the stands and busted Lueker's head down to the white meat. Lueker had lost one hand and a bunch of fingers on the other in an industrial accident on lookers shouted at Cobb to stop because the man had no hands, Cobb reportedly replied, "I don't care if he got no feet!"

Cobb was simply put a scrapper. Cobb and umpire Billy Evans, an ex-con, hated each other. After one game in which Evans had a terrible misunderstanding of the strike zone he and Cobb decided that their problems needed to be negotiated after the game. Once Cobb had knocked Evans down, pinned him, and began choking him other players intervened before Cobb ended up catching a murder charge. Cobb once slapped a black elevator operator for being "uppity" as Cobb put it. When a black night watchman intervened, Cobb pulled out a knife and stabbed him. The matter was later settled out of court which is a nice way of saying that Cobb agreed to not kill everyone the other two men had ever known.

Upon reflecting on the greatness that was himself Cobb famously told his biographer:
""I had to fight all my life just to survive. They were all against me. Tried every dirty trick to cut me down, but I beat the bastards and left them in the ditch." When asked if thought that he might be paranoid Cobb said "Not at all....well except for everyone always trying to get me."

Growing up in and around Augusta, Georgia one will find that there are about a million stories about Ty Cobb and James Brown. Some are true, some are not, and some are an odd mixture of truth and fable. As far as Cobb goes here is my personal favorite. While walking home one night in Augusta, GA--Mr. and Mrs. Cobb were accosted by a man with a knife who demanded that Cobb give him all of his money. Cobb reached into his coat pocket and produced a Colt revolver. Cobb pulled the trigger but the pistol mis-fired. The man then lunged at Cobb. Cobb simply flipped the gun around, holding it by the barrel, and pistol whipped the man almost to death. The next day Cobb wrote the Colt company a profanity laced letter that described their pistols and complete junk due to the mis-fire of the night before. That was the first half of the letter. The second half praised the Colt company for knowing how crappy their guns were and making the the handle especially heavy so as to allow a Gentleman the proper tool for pistol whipping a suckah' when the gun mis-fired.