Off Tackle Empire

B1G 2012 // Keeping the Enemy Close: Pretentiousness, Thy Name Is Iowa

2012-05-25T09:00:06Z

Apparently you all don't dislike Iowa enough to write an article ripping on them, so the kind sirs at OTE contacted me to bring the hate on Iowa. As an Iowa State fan and a manager of SB Nation's Iowa State blog, Wide Right & Natty Lite, I probably seemed like a good candidate.

Here's the thing though... I don't actually hate Iowa. It's an esteemed university with a great medical program and plenty of my friends have attended the school and (those who weren't roofied at Summit or raped by Pierre Pierce) are better people for it. Despite not being located in a recruiting hotbed, Iowa's football program consistently churns out NFL prospects and the fine gentlemen over at Black Heart Gold Pants were more than happy to illustrate that point. Most schools would be lucky to do so much with so many inherent disadvantages.

Did you read the paragraph above? Pretend I wrote it about your school, because no Hawkeye fan will ever admit anything positive about another school. To them, being a Hawkeye fan is life. Who you cheer for on Saturdays determines your ultimate self-worth. Got an engineering degree from Iowa State and make good money to support a great family? Well, guess what, that's a much worse life to lead than a methhead that can't get a GED, as long that methhead is a Hawkeye fan.

With no major league professional sports teams in Iowa, it has caused many Hawk fans to suffer from delusions of grandeur. Admittedly, they are the preeminent team in the state, but for a team that has won a third-ish of a national title, there is a disproportionately large number of their fans who believe they're right up there with Florida, Ohio State, Texas, etc. Don't worry about all those National Championships, Husker fans; when you play Iowa, you're actually the lesser program.

I feel sorry for the current students and alumni of Northwestern and Illinois. Half of the Iowa student population is made up of toolbags from Chicago (read: DeKalb, Aurora, Rockford) that didn't have the scores to be admitted to those two universities. These half wits migrate to Iowa City, create "nicknames" for themselves such as "Tony from Chicago" or "Jeff from Chicago" and proceed to embarrass the entire state of Illinois for their 6 years of undergraduate study. Upon completion of their liberal studies degrees they head back to their homelands to continue to be ~~a positive impact on the community~~ as much like Patrick Kane as possible, without the hockey talent.

Iowa fans have this weird "Super Bowl" dynamic that if your team beats them. It's never that their team was ill-prepared (which is probably not a sign of an actual great team), it's that your team only gets up to play the mighty Hawkeyes. Thankfully, the Oklahoma State game happened, so we've been spared from hearing the same tired argument this year. I imagine Northwestern and Minnesota fans are used to this already, but the rest of you will find out soon enough about this concept.

As Herky proves above, if you're supporting Iowa, you're supporting Neo-Nazism. Also of note is the fact that Iowa has produced Ashton Kutcher, who is killing our collective senses with his terrible movies, and somebody who hits closer to home, Bret Bielema, who fills the whining douchebag quota for the entire Big Ten conference.

Since the Big 12 doesn't look like it's going down in flames and the image of Iowa State relegated to joining the MAC is no longer viable spank bank material, Hawkeye fans probably have plenty of time on their hands to flame away at ESS-EEE-SEE speed.

The Curious Case of Brian Ferentz

2012-05-24T09:00:15Z

I never have been a huge fan of nepotism. I grew up in an extremely small town in Nebraska and I went to an extremely small school that was actually getting kids from lots of other small towns. No matter what sport, activity, club, or group that you joined, you had to know going in that if you had someone with a family name involved, you were most definitely not going to be the first picked. Now, I will be the first to tell you that I was never going to be picked first regardless, but I am trying to make a point here.

The thing is, generally speaking, it kind of sucks when family members give preference to other family members. So when Iowa filled one of its coaching positions with Kirk Ferentz' son Brian, I was a little skeptical. Sure, he has some pretty good credentials that include working for The Hoodie in New England as an Offensive Line coach and Tight Ends coach, but was he really the most qualified? That is hard to really judge at this point, but as many Iowa fans have pointed out, this was maybe one of the best hires of the offseason. And if not the best, then it is certainly the most interesting hire. Can Brian shake things up? Did Kirk know he needed someone on the staff who could talk back a little? Is Iowa coaching finally branching out of the normal coach speak? Well, let's see what the evidence says, shall we?

via thegazette.com

Who exactly is Brian Ferentz?

Brian Ferentz' story is pretty much exactly how you might imagine. He played for the Iowa Hawkeyes, and by default he played for his dad, from 2001 to 2005. While I have not found out a ton about his playing career, he at least started at guard in 2005 and leveraged whatever impact he had on the field that year into tryouts as a free agent in the NFL the following year. He played in the league for a couple of seasons but realized his real talent in 2008 when he got a job as a scout for Bill Belichick. Moving up the ranks pretty quickly, he ended up as an Offensive Line coach and then the Tight Ends coach for the Patriots and had the joy of coaching Aaron Hernandez and Rob Gronkowski in a scheme that pretty much featured the pair exclusively.

And so, last year when the Hawkeyes were looking for a new Offensive Line coach, who was a better fit than Brian? That is a pretty fair question considering he really only had a few years of experience and he got a nice payday, but seriously. He had deep ties to Iowa football, obviously he called Iowa City home, and he had the same coaching mentality as the head coach. Talk about a match made in heaven. Of course, you could of read most all of this on Wikipedia. The real questions come next.

Punch Brothers - Just What I Needed (The Cars Cover) (Live) (via brianfax)

What does Brian Ferentz really bring to the table?

This is kind of a loaded question and it has a lot of different answers. While he certainly has a new recruiting edge with his fancy NFL roots, I often wonder if he is still too young to have the scheming background to really make a difference yet. Sure, he can work with Greg Davis and probably help make some great adjustments, and it can't hurt that he grew up in a household that revolved around football, but I would still argue that the Xs & Os are a little rough and not why Iowa hired him in the first place.

I mentioned on Tuesday that the biggest thing you think of when you think of Iowa football is consistency. What I meant by that is that when you think of Iowa football, you very often think boring. It's not necessarily fair, and Iowa has had some flair for the dramatic at times, but usually, the culture is very blah. It's not about having fun so much as it is about doing things the right way and following a prescribed way of doing things -- more specifically, it's about doing things the Kirk Ferentz way. After a decade of Norm, KOK, and KF, maybe the team had fallen into a rut.

Brian, on the other hand, has a unique position now. First off, he's extremely young. At a shade over 29 years old, Brian is situated to move up the ranks if he so chooses, but he also is able to still kind of relate to 18-22 year old kids. Heck, with the way recruiting is going, he is probably the only one on that staff who remotely understands this strange world of technology and worthless attention spans is. We will get to Brian's twitter account in a moment, but it is worth mentioning that having someone young on staff really changes the dynamic of a team.

One of my favorite bands is Punch Brothers because I pretty much think Chris Thile is the most amazing musician in the world. He was being interviewed a little while back by Spinner.com and he had this quote about having someone young in his group:

Well, Paul, he keeps us fresh. That cynicism that creeps in is totally poisonous, even though it can also help. Again, you want to keep a balance between that wide-eyed wonder and reality. It's the difference between understanding what you're seeing and being amazed by it. And I love the amazement that Paul brings to the band. He reminds me to be excited. I mean, I'm excited by nature, but I can get dark about music. Occasionally, I might say, "Ah, what's the point when Bach already did it all?" Paul certainly helps to keep me fresh. He's bursting at the seams with ability and talent.

Sure, Thile was referring to bluegrass, but I think the same principle applies. Brian brings that excitement of coaching players up back to the table. He's not nearly as cynical about NCAA regulations, AIRBHG, the media, and even football. Energy is an underrated thing and from every interview I've read or seen about BF (I think that's his new moniker) just seems to be filled with that amazement. Also, Kirk Ferentz is Chris Thile in this analogy... Not sure how I feel about that.

Still working to find future #Hawkeyes. We will not be deterred. #PreparingToBeTheBest
— Brian Ferentz (@CoachBFerentz) May 11, 2012

Why should anyone outside of Iowa City care?

So this is where I'll land. This is a Big Ten site where we all come together and explain why one team sucks and another doesn't. A piece about an assistant coach usually is not really all that important in the scheme of things because assistants don't really win games, especially assistants who aren't the DC or OC. The thing is, I think BF is different. One of the things that I've seen in Iowa games is that Kirk Ferentz often is his own worst enemy. He coaches up recruits and has proven that there is talent on both sides of the ball. His conservative nature and extremely buttoned up culture makes for some low morale decisions and you can often feel it on the faces of his players.

I do not believe that BF is going to really argue with his dad on the sideline, but you better believe he may be the only coach who at least is willing to question the status quo. I see him as the new energy guy and someone who could fire up anyone. How do I surmise this? I mentioned a bit ago that BF has a twitter account ,@CoachBFerentz, and he is not shying away from the public. I mean, it's still your typical coaching account, but it's more than anyone else has done. BF is slowly making a name for Iowa football and that is a huge part of connecting with recruits.

Sometimes the difference between a close win and a loss is having players who actually love what they're doing. I'm not questioning Iowa's approach over the years because Kirk has been more or less successful, but he also has never gotten to the Rose Bowl. I think that this could change with the shakeup he had on the staff. After a while, things get stale. That is true of pretty much everything in life. When we become extremely familiar with what we have, we tend to overlook the potential. Having a guy like Brian on staff might just be the trigger for the next era of Iowa football. How will we know for sure? Well, as they say, only time will tell.

B1G 2012 // OTE's Iowa Potluck: Seeking Answers from The Angry Iowa Running Back Hating God

2012-05-23T16:54:10Z

WHO HATES IOWA?

Apparently one pissed-off deity with omnipotence when it comes to deciding the fate of Hawkeye running backs.

In this week's Potluck, we seek answers on Iowa from a higher power.....the Angry Iowa Running Back Hating God (AIRBHG).....and the OTE writers, with special guest RossWB from Black Heart Gold Pants (who will surely have his knee blown out in spectacular fashion by AIRBHG for daring to blaspheme AIRBHG's judgments on the questions below by offering differing opinions).

So jump below to discuss an off-season of change (REALLY! WE SWEAR!) in Iowa City, who's left to bust a McNutt for the Iowa offense, swapping a Parker for a Parker on defense, and curses throughout the B1G....

Without Ken O'Keefe Around, Who Will Iowa Fans Blame Their Failures On?

1. Appetizer: The big offseason news out of Iowa City.....is that there actually IS news out of Iowa City. Norm Parker is retired. Ken O'Keefe is gone. Hawkeyes fans....rejoice? This is certainly the biggest offseason change in Iowa City since Kirk Ferentz replaced Hayden Fry. Of course, the season after Fry was replaced, Iowa went 1-10. So how do you see new OC Greg Davis and new DC Phil Parker fitting in at Iowa? What exactly do they bring that's "new" to the table? What problem at Iowa do they address? Or is this change to Ferentz's carefully maintained equilibrium going to destablize the Hawkeyes in 2012 as they go through an adjustment phase?

AIRBHG: Unfortunately, my omnipotence is confined to players who run with the ball -- otherwise, I'd be sure to snap a few arms, dislocate some collarbones, and afflict all of Iowa's cornerbacks with turf toe to punish Phil Parker for the blasphemy of coming to coach in Iowa City. I'm an incredibly angry deity with a blackened hatred of Iowa....but I don't reach beyond my bounds.

That being said, I am preparing plagues of locusts, rain of fire, and pus-filled boils to shower upon anyone Greg Davis dares to line up at RB in his "offense" this season in Iowa City. Think you can run a flare pattern to nowhere with your running back, Greg? That will be hard to do if HIS LEGS ARE AFFLICTED WITH PALSY!

(As a side note, I really hated Texas, too, but decided to focus my attention on Iowa. Does that mean that AIRBHG is a closeted Cornhusker fan? I'll let you decide for yourself...)

KennardHusker: There are two ways to look at this question. On one hand, the defense is being taken over by a guy who knows Kirk Ferentz about as well as one person can and who has been an integral part of this team for as long as a person can imagine. Sure, Phil Parker might be saying all the right things about making this his own defense and everything that goes along with that, but it seems to me that this will be a base 4-3 defense with a Cover 2 DB scheme and a shade of simple stunts to put pressure on the QB. I did see someone mention it (maybe even Ross over at BHGP), but Parker likes to talk about maybe inserting some sort of Press Coverage, but if that's about the extent of the change, I don't see it being a big deal. On the other hand, the offense... I'll be the first to say that I don't think Greg Davis is ever the answer, but change is good every once in a while, right? Look, at Texas, Davis played with toys you don't get in Iowa (no offense, but Vince Young > Brad Banks and Colt McCoy >>>> The Americanzi) and he got away with dink passes that eventually worked. Can he do some stuff with all-world TEs in Iowa? Sure, why not... Actually, check that. I just don't see it happening. Marrying a conservative head coach with a conservative OC who likes to spread the ball around should be fun to watch from afar, but I wouldn't be that excited... yet. Of course, this might be perfect timing. You lose all-world WR McNutt, so maybe it's that 'rebuilding' phrase you hear coaches throw around. Who knows.

RossWB: Another 1-10 season is in the offing! It's written in the stars! What, we play 12 games now? And have one of the easiest schedules in the Big Ten? Well, hell.

In terms of fit, the transition from Parker, Norm to Parker, Phil (no relation) at defensive coordinator should be as easy as sliding on a favorite pair of socks in the morning. Phil Parker has been a part of Kirk Ferentz's staff since day one and while his responsibilities are changing, the defense itself will be getting tweaked, not overhauled. I expect to see more press coverage from the cornerbacks and more blitzing (from all angles), but fundamentally the defense will be the same thing it's always been: FOUR. THREE. COVER. TWO. Phil Parker isn't going to reinvent the wheel here -- we aren't going to see the 3-4 or a bunch of "bandits" and "rovers" or anything like that.

The shift from Ken O'Keefe to Greg Davis at offensive coordinator is far more interesting -- and far less predictable. O'Keefe was Ferentz's longtime friend (and one of Ferentz's first bosses, actually) and there was never agreement among Iowa fans about how much of the offense was O'Keefe and how much of it was Ferentz. Ferentz has some clear offensive philosophies (balance is paramount, run the ball a lot, mix in play-action and downfield passing to keep the defense honest) and those probably won't change too much with Davis calling the plays now -- I don't expect Iowa to become a zone-read heavy, four-wide team overnight. But Davis certainly brings new ideas to the mix -- Ferentz and O'Keefe had been joined at the hip for twelve years and the Iowa offense was starting to smell like milk that's gone past its expiration date -- and I think that's part of the plan. I don't think Ferentz hired Greg Davis expecting the same ol', same ol' -- he wanted something a little bit different (but not, like, Mike Leach different -- he is still Kirk Ferentz, after all). There will probably be some rocky moments this year as the players and coaches attempt to get on the same page and figure out what works best, but long-term this change should be a net positive. (Fingers crossed...)

Ted Glover: I am, either by age or circumstance, a 'change is bad' guy. I don't think a lot of people outside of Iowa City realize just how good of a defensive coordinator he was, and how tough it will be to replace him. As for Ken O'Keefe, I think it was time for a change. I don't know how much of the offense was dictated to him by Kirk Ferentz, but for all the talent they've had on that side of the ball, their offense has been too bland and predictable for about four years. As big as a deal it is in changing both coordinator positions, Ferentz is still steering the ship, so that's good. The only thing that they must address is the constant anger they incur from AIRBHG. I would suggest some voodoo curse relief.

Adios, "Busting a McNutt" jokes....

2. Potato: Marvin McNutt was one of the most explosive and dangerous offensive players in the B1G last year -- 82 receptions, 1315 yards receiving, and 12 TDs. And now? Iowa's offensive hopes seem to rest on whatever RB can sacrifice enough burnt offerings to appease AIRBHG from destroying him, and legitimate studs WR Keenan Davis and TE C.J. Fiedorowicz. James Vandenberg is a very good quarterback (arguably one of the best arms in the conference)...but does he have enough weapons/targets? I'm truly concerned that Iowa's offense is going to stagnate without some players stepping up capable of explosion-type plays. Who will be making plays for the Hawkeyes offense? Or will no one show up, and Iowa be stuck in neutral all season?

AIRBHG: You think burnt offerings could appease me? NEVER! My hatred of Iowa and hunger for the muscles, tendons, and ligaments of Iowa running backs is a bottomless chasm, an abyss of darkness that can never be satiated. And if Greg Davis even thinks about running a reverse or end-around play -- thereby making a wide receiver a running back, even for one play -- I will reach down from the heavens above and afflict that wide receiver with a cripplingly painful case of shingles. NO ONE ESCAPES THE WRATH OF AIRBHG ON A TECHNICALITY!

Graham Filler: The Iowa offense really isn't, or hasn't been, built on tremendously explosive players. That needs to be recognized - it wasn't the skill position players, it was the top notch blocking and the solid scheme of play-action and 1-cut off tackle runs. That's why AIRBHG can be so effective, even while the Iowa offense also keeps it's effectiveness.

RossWB: There aren't a lot of proven commodities, that's for sure. Iowa's gone back to the drawing board at running back (maybe they should just adopt the Bielema-approved strategy of poaching the best free agent running back on the market each spring...), so it's pretty unclear what to expect from that position this year. Iowa should have a platoon featuring several true and redshirt freshmen -- there's talent there, but virtually no experience. As a result, the offense is likely going to rely on Vandenberg and his golden gun to carry it this year. Losing McNutt, his safety blanket and a tremendous receiver, is undoubtedly going to hurt, but there are some interesting weapons left for him to work with.

First and foremost is C.J. Fiedorowicz, the tight end Iowa fans lovingly refer to as "The Polish Hat." Fiedorowciz has the sort of physical skills that make NFL scouts drool -- 6-7, 265 with soft hands, impressive speed, and great leaping ability -- but he struggled to adjust to having to block at Iowa (he was basically a really big receiver in high school). He finally got that down by the end of last season and started to show signs of living up to his recruiting hype and prodigious talent -- he had 12 catches and 3 touchdown grabs in his last four games. He's a matchup nightmare for opposing defenses, so if he and Vandenberg can develop a good rapport, Fiedorowicz has the chance to put up boffo numbers this year. Keenan Davis figures to be the main man at receiver, and while he was overshadowed by McNutt's monstrous stats a year ago, his own stats weren't too bad -- 50 receptions, 713 yards, 4 TD. He'll have to adjust to being the number-one option (and the corresponding defensive attention that will bring) and get more consistent in general (he ran hot and cold last year and had a few too many drops), but the talent is certainly there. Behind him, Kevonte Martin-Manley looks like the best weapon Iowa has had out of the slot in several years -- as a redshirt freshman he had 323 yards and 3 touchdowns on 30 receptions last year and he should improve those numbers this year.

Ted Glover: I don't know. Iowa's always had a good/great receiver on the team, be it Clint Solomon, Ed Hinkle, Dallas Clark, DJK, McNutt...whoever. I don't know that they have that this year, and their RB situation in terms of injuries.... even Purdue feels bad for them. (Well, if they weren't bitter, bitter rivals they would.) That said, there always seems to be a running back and wide receiver that steps out from the shadows and has a good year, much like Albert Young, Shonn Greene, Adam Robinson and Marcus Coker have in the past. It's funny, but every year you look at Iowa's roster, and you see, on paper, a bunch of 'meh'. And that 'meh' usually produces a great QB, a go to running back, and a sure handed receiver or two. I can't tell you who those people will be right now, but they'll have them at the end. They almost always do.

3. Main Dish: Iowa's defense has been one of the steadier units in the B1G over the past 5 seasons or so. You know what you're going to get -- a 4-3, Cover 2, with generally excellent play from the D-line and secondary, but a maddening susceptibility to being beaten by spread/up-tempo offenses that control the ball (see: Northwestern 2008-2010). The linebacker corps (James Morris and Christian Kirksey) is skilled....but there are questions in the secondary (Iowa is replacing 3/4 of its secondary; CB Micah Hyde is a talented returning player, though) and especially on the D-line. Will Ferentz and Phil Parker once again display their innate talent for developing players and shore up the defense? What wrinkles will Phil Parker bring to disguise the D-line and secondary inexperience/weakness? And will playing against a shotgun/spread-esque offense in practice (thanks to Greg Davis's system) help prepare the Iowa defense for the spread attacks they are sure to face more often now?

AIRBHG: It will be difficult for the defense to really "practice" against Iowa's new, up-tempo offense when all of Iowa's running backs are on the sidelines suffering the fiery heat of severe urinary tract infections, courtesy of myself. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO RUN WITH THE FOOTBALL IN A SPREAD/SHOT-GUN OFFENSE IF ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT IS THE BURNING FEELING THAT WILL ARRIVE EVERY TIME YOU TRY TO URINATE, HAWKEYE RUNNING BACKS!

That being said, I believe Micah Hyde will allow Iowa to control/shutdown one side of the field of opposing passing games, and Morris and Kirksey are two linebackers that effectively flow to the ball, helping to shore up Iowa's run defense. I would also not bet against Ferentz and Parker in "coaching up" the defensive line to create adequate pressure on opposing quarterbacks and sufficient push at the line of scrimmage to disrupt opposing running games.

See? Even a deity with furious hatred of everything Iowa (and unlimited power to engage in sabotage against Hawkeye running backs) is capable of dispassionate analysis.

KennardHusker: First off, practicing against an uptempo offense does not equate to being more prepared (See Nebraska: Always). It only means you know going into Saturday that you're about to get beat. Still, I am wondering if the other assistants will get the Hawks ready. I'm not super with it on Woods and B.Ferentz, but they seem to be guys who want to push the staff to think differently. That's not a bad thing, and hopefully it will create some synergy for the new defense. Sure, it looks the same on paper (as mentioned earlier), but an extra blitz package and a batch of recognition drills might be what the doctor ordered. I do believe Hyde is going to be a beast this season if for no other reason than he has to be. From what I've read, it's kind of downhill back there beyond him.

RossWB: Iowa's actually replacing only half of the secondary -- FS Tanner Miller is back and will likely start again next year. The secondary is actually one of the more promising areas of Iowa's defense, in fact -- Hyde is the anchor, but Miller improved steadily throughout the year and the two newcomers -- B.J. Lowery at cornerback and Nico Law at strong safety -- come in with a fair amount of buzz and some strong performances in cameo roles last year (Lowery at nickel corner, Law on special teams).

The defensive line, on the other hand, looks terrifyingly weak. Only one starter from 2011 projects to return -- and that's only if Dominic Alvis is fully recovered from his torn ACL by September. Beyond Alvis, Iowa is looking at suiting up a motley crew of fifth-year seniors who have seen little playing time to this point and redshirt freshmen who haven't even gotten their feet wet yet. There's talent among the second group (DT Darian Cooper is particularly intriguing), but this year's results figure to be pretty rough unless guys develop in a hurry. We're a long way from the salad days of 2008-2010 on the Iowa defensive line.

Phil Parker has talked openly about blitzing more and not leaving the defensive linemen on their own when it comes to pressuring the quarterback and disrupting opposing offenses, which is encouraging. Norm Parker was a rigid believer in getting pressure solely from the front-four and Iowa defenses often struggled mightily when they didn't have a lights-out front-four capable of wreaking havoc. It's refreshing to see Phil Parker acknowledge that shortcoming and (hopefully) address it by way of more blitzing and tweaked schemes. The point about practicing against Greg Davis' offense is an interesting one, but I'm not sure how much effect it will have -- even with Davis in charge, I don't expect the offense to be an extreme makeover from the one Iowa has been running for years. He has talked a lot about increasing the pace and making more use of the no-huddle (something Iowa dabbled with a year ago, to sometimes great effect) and seeing the no-huddle more often in practice can only help the defense when other teams try to run it in games.

Even AIRBHG is terrified of the Tebowsaur....

4. Dessert: By now, we're all very familiary with AIRBHG, and his omnipotence in regards to forcing Iowa running backs into legal trouble, injury, or to transfer to another program. Does your favorite B1G football team have any similar curses/gods/supernatural powers aligned against them? What's your favorite B1G-related "curse" and why?

AIRBHG: Oh, there are many B1G angry deities who I'm very close with. In fact, we frequently get together at each others' homes for potlucks!

Angry Purdue Hating ACL Snapping God (APHACLG) is a social drunk (blame all the Boilermakers) and has a very sharp wit (the "sharpness" helps slice through ACLs).

Angry Sparty Hating BCS-Denying God (ASHBCSDG) is VERY old (almost as old as Angry Northwestern Hating Bowl Loss God - ANHBLG, who's been around since the Truman administration!), but wily and devious -- last year, he let Sparty get to the B1G championship and almost win, only to see them lose a BCS spot to Michigan! That, my friends, is some quality wrath....

I'd rather not talk about the Angry Penn State Hating God....too soon.

And it's hard to keep up conversation with someone as dim-witted as Angry Nebraska Hating AAU-Revoking God (ANHAAURG).

The scariest Angry Big Ten Hating Deity? Easy.....the Angry Illinois Hating Construction Equipment Buried Under Memorial Stadium That Will Deny The Illini Nice Things God (AIHCEBUMSTWDTINTG). Ron Zook? Totally his idea.

As for the other Angry Big Ten University Hating Deities? I can assure you that RichRod, Edward Rife/Terrelle Pryor/Jim Cooper, Tim Brewster, Bret Bielema's clock/end-of-game management, and everyone ever associated with Indiana football are pleasant company, up here on Mt. Hatemore.

KennardHusker: Salt Creek and Stadium brought up the curse of Lil Red in the comments yesterday, so I'm going to go with that. Petersen brought in that abomination and it has brought down this once proud team... I'm on team #BURNLILRED and kindly ask all Husker fans to join in. I think we also have the stink of KevinCosgroveBall which is a pretty universal curse in the conference, so there's that. As far as my favorite curse? That's a pretty morbid question. I used to think Purdue's ACL Hating God was funny, but that just got out of hand to the point where I'm afraid to ever travel to Purdue. I'm going to play this one safe and say AIRBHG if for anything to appease the deity across the river in hopes of keeping it at bay.

BabaOReally: I'm not sure if you guys have heard about this one, but a lot of Purdue athletes have recently had some issues with torn ACLs. I don't think that this is really a curse, but I am appreciative of whatever it is that causes Indiana to consistently have the worst football program in the conference.

Graham Filler: Uh, Michigan couldn't beat Ohio State for 9 years and it became clear that there was a mental edge in Columbus. But I'm not sure if that's a curse.

If you google "Michigan recruits under Rich Rodriguez", you're going to learn about the tremendous dropout/transfer/bust rate during the 3 years. So that wasn't great; but I don't think any Wolverine fans were putting a hex on Rich. Well, I can't say that for sure, but I'm not sure they have the capability to hex.

Bret Bielema will inevitably screw up an end-game scenario against Michigan State, but again, maybe that's not supernatural...

Ted Glover: Hmmmm, I don't know that it was a curse as much as bad coaching, but John Cooper's 2-10-1 record against Michigan will probably stick in my neck until the day I die. Cooper was a very good coach, and turned OSU into a national brand on the recruiting stage. He put a ton of players on both sides of the ball into the NFL, and many of them have had great careers. Had he not choked against Michigan time and time again, he was in position to win at least two national championships (1995, 1996), and had he not choked against MSU in 1998, he would've been in a position to win a third.

If Coop wins just those three games and one other bowl to win the national title, he's now 5-7-1 against Michigan and a national championship. Does that record get him fired after the 2000 season? Does Jim Tressel still get the job if he is? Is Coop around in 2002 when Tressel took Coop's players to a national title, and would he have done the same thing? Interesting questions to ponder if you're a Buckeye fan.

RossWB: My favorite B1G team is Iowa, so I'm well-acquainted with curses, vengeful deities, and whatever other supernatural hooey is causing Iowa's running backs to go down like extras in Game of Thrones.

My favorite all-time B1G curse is the one where Northwestern hasn't won a bowl game in 63 years (and counting!) -- that one's pretty sublime, I have to say.

[Shhhhh...I'm not here. I just couldn't hold this back.] So, it's the off season. You hope that...

2012-05-23T15:22:07Z

[Shhhhh...I'm not here. I just couldn't hold this back.]

So, it's the off season. You hope that you're school's players are spending their days improving, building camaraderie, making paper dolls...wait, what?

UniWatch, a sports fashion blog, has had a recent development of do-it yourself paper football dolls (that they call "Cubees"). Several readers of the blog have sent in their team in paper form. From the section of that entry:

Cubee update: Another day, another nice round of Cubees. Here’s the latest batch:

• Jason Torban made himself a Randall Cunningham/Eagles Cubee.

• Gary Chanko is making Cubees of 2012 Heisman Trophy candidates. His latest rendition is of Clemson QB Tajh Boyd. (If you want to make this one yourself, here’s the template.)

• James Ferentz made himself a very nice Iowa Hawkeye Cubee.

Did you see it? That's right, James Ferentz, the starting center of YOUR Iowa Hawkeyes is proving that his hands are tough enough to snap the ball and dainty enough to create beautiful dolls. Now, you might be worried about this being wasted time over the summer, but compared to how Iowa players spent their summer in years past, we'll take it.

Look for Today's Iowa Potluck Around Lunch....and Other Sad News

2012-05-23T13:25:41Z

Look for Today's Iowa Potluck Around Lunch....and Other Sad News

Due to unforeseen circumstances on my end, today's Iowa Potluck probably won't appear until around lunch time (noon CT)....work projects, wedding stuff (I'm ending my bachelorhood in 10 days), and a variety of other issues delayed me getting the questions out to the OTE writers, and thus delayed their responses. So head back around noon or so...

And no, there is no truth to the rumor that this Potluck is being delayed to mourn the ending of Dan Persa's football career (linked story above) due to re-aggravation of his Achilles' injury suffered after throwing the winning TD against Iowa in 2010......but damn, that is a complete bummer for a player that was really special. Godspeed on the next chapter in your life, PersaStrong.

B1G 2012 // Iowa's Smartest Guys in the Room

2012-05-22T09:00:05Z

[Hello Iowa friends. I am taking a stab at Iowa's Smartest Guys in the Room, but I wanted to quickly say that BamaHawkeye will always be the gold standard for Iowa writing on this site. I am lucky to have written alongside him, and he brings credibility that I am slowly helping to destroy. If you don't have any idea why I am writing this, click here and tell Bama thanks for being awesome. His writing was great way before I was here and will be part of the lore that is the OTE legacy. Good luck getting more time to kick back Bama, and thanks again for your unique insight and entertaining articles. You will be sorely missed.]

The Head Coach -- Kirk Ferentz

The Skinny

For about the last decade and a half, the first thing that comes to mind when you think about Iowa football is Kirk Ferentz. Throughout B1G country, and really college football in general, KF represents consistency in ways that are truly amazing. Amassing a .590 winning percentage despite a truly horrific first season filled with growing pains and the misery of going 1-10, Ferentz has managed to make Iowa not only relevant, but extremely dangerous. In the last 11 years, he has led Iowa to 10 bowls with successes in 6 of those including the 2009 Orange Bowl against a Georgia Tech team that many said would run over the slow plodding B1G team. According to his Iowa Official Athletic Site bio, he has coached 39 NFL Draftees, and 90% of his Senior Starters have had the opportunity to play in the NFL. On top of that, he is routinely attached to NFL coaching rumors, and is a sought after commodity in the coaching ranks. He's a man that Bill Belichick calls a friend. Let's just say this guy has some major credentials. Still, as most of us know, there's always another side to the story.

As a relative outsider to Iowa Football, all I ever knew about Kirk Ferentz is the insane paycheck he pulls in each year. At $3.8 Million annually, he is the fourth highest paid man in NCAA Football behind Saban, Stoops, and Miles. The major difference between Kirk and them? Crystal Trophies. As many fans have pointed out over the years, if you're going to pay for championship level coaching, shouldn't you get championships? And so, despite a rocking winning percentage, an excellent bowl streak (often mired in playing up), and a ridiculous amount of NFL talent churned from the smallest of Iowa schools (and Millard North in Omaha because why wouldn't he poach from one of Nebraska's largest and most celebrated high schools), fans are often left wonting.

And to be fair, it's at least worth discussing, right? When I started this whole article, I mentioned that Kirk Ferentz is Mr. Consistency, but that doesn't really give it justice. How many times have B1G fans guessed exactly what KF was about to do? 2:00 left in the first half and more than 50 yards to go? Sit on the ball. 4th and 2 in the grey zone? Punt every time. FG or go for it? FG. Trick play? RUN THE REVERSE... Okay, maybe it's not really that bad, but you have to admit, Ferentz can be a little predictable, and when you have a passionate fan base like Iowa does, they would like KF to do something different every once in a while.

Still, throughout all this, he's the dean of the B1G Coaches, he's the fifth longest tenured coach in all of football, and if you were to ask Iowa fans to give their honest opinion on the guy they would tell you that Ferentz is a great coach and the right man for the job (at least if you didn't ask fans on BHGP after a loss). He is the consumate system guy and he has made Iowa relevant during a stretch where schools in the Midwest struggle to remain important in the national scene (I'm looking at you Kansas schools). He keeps a calm demeanor and for all the negative points I mentioned, I definitely think that the ROI for the Iowa Hawkeyes (Specifically AD Barta and his budget) is more than enough to merit the money he gets. Most schools would kill for a guy who turns down the NFL this often and that in and of itself is worth commending.

Quotable:

The other night we had 25 seniors in front of the team that have had a great job. They have done a great job academically, they've done a great job on the football field. You're not going to win 11 games as much as you'd like to. We're not going to win 11 games every year. That's part of the landscape. The media attention in a negative light, that's never a good thing certainly. But there's not a lot of focus on good things typically. There have been a lot of good things that happened this year. We have a lot of good people on the team right now.

-Kirk Ferentz at a Presser after the DJK drug story broke

Twitter Trend:

I gave up chewing gum for #lent Unfortunately I reneged 3 1/2 hours later. #ForgiveMeFather
— Fake Kirk Ferentz (@TypicalKirk) March 6, 2012

Obviously, this is Fake Kirk Ferentz. KF doesn't believe in that fancy social media stuff, but hey, son Brian got fans excited about the prospect. I'd prefer to take a wait and see approach. I just don't see it happening anytime soon.

The Coordinators

via grfx.cstv.com

Defensive Coordinator -- Phil Parker

Phil has played his part in the Iowa machine having served at Iowa for the past 13 years as Defensive Backs coach and from everything I have read, this looks to be a very similar system to Norm. He is a 4-3 disciple with Cover 2 NFL style pedigree, and unless Iowa unleashes a crazy scheme on the world, I don't know if that will change with Kirk in charge. Still, change isn't always a bad thing and for a staff that hasn't seen much of that, it seems to be a breath of fresh air to Iowa City. Can Phil do things differently enough that he gets his fingerprint on this team, or will the schemes feel like Norm retreads (in a good way), that all remains to be seen. Still, not much bad you can say. I might be wrong here, but this just felt like a really safe hire. Nothing good or bad about that... just safe.

Twitter:

Not that I can see, but I did read that Brian Ferentz wife is in the Social Media business. What exactly does she do? Well, I couldn't find out for sure, but Kirk said so. A quick LinkedIn search point to a Nikki Ferentz who works for CareerBuilder and her Twitter handle (or at least what I assume is her Twitter handle, who really knows) only has 99 followers, so I feel like she should maybe explain her job to Kirk a little bit more. Let's move on.

Unresearched O/U on Years it will take to become a Head Coach: If he hasn't gotten there yet, you gotta believe he's cool with being an assistant, right? Then again, you just never know. Maybe Iowa shuts out all of their opponents this year and wins the BCS Title Game. Vegas set those odds at 200/1 (h/t to mikjones24), so you can pretty much take that however you'd like.

via www.hookemreport.com

Offensive Coordinator -- Greg Davis

There are few things in this world that are funnier to me than angst-filled Longhorn fans. One of those few things is when these fans collide with angst-filled Iowa fans ready for something different than KOK. Greg Davis is no slouch of a coach with a resume a mile long filled with coaching wins at Texas. He can say he coached Ricky Williams, Major Applewhite (Sidenote: Is there a more Texas name than this), Vince Young, and Colt McCoy (Oh wait, there is a more Texas name...). Davis won the Broyles award for best assistant coach, and he was more or less ran out of Texas for having no contingency plan on offense when the QB talent fell flat.

I am very interested in how he's going to mesh with the head coach. Greg Davis thrived on consistently boring screens, slant patterns, and QB's who could take it upon themselves to make the coach look good despite the obnoxious plays that were called. Of course, meshing a pipeline of talent as awesome as Iowa's has been in recent years does make one wonder if he can develop a rushing game to go along with the HORIZONTAL OFFENSE!!! I have heard positive things about how he will make better use of Vandenberg, but really, I have no idea how this is going to be a positive thing. Who knows? Maybe this will be the newest, fanciest offense in football... and maybe it was just a part of KF's plan to trick AIRBHG from destroying ACL's and arresting young men's futures.

Twitter:

First day on the job and Kirk has me going through O'Keefes playbook. I had to laugh like a billygoat at that reverse play!
— Greg Davis (@Fake_GregDavis) February 28, 2012

Again, no real account, but I thought this was pretty funny stuff.

Unresearched O/U on Years it will take to become a Head Coach: Honestly, he's just happy to be working again after getting let go from Texas. Let's see what happens the next few years. In a similar fashion to Parker, I just see Davis being a career assistant from place to place. Kind of like Kevin Cosgrove, only more inexplicable.

The Last Carnival

2012-05-21T19:37:10Z

It's Iowa week on the OTE. In the past few years, that would have meant a busy week writing about the Hawkeyes for me. I'm not writing anything about the team this week. This is actually my last post as an active member of the staff. After four football seasons and almost four years, I'm saying good bye. But before I do, I wanted to take a couple of minutes to think back on some of the fun and give some thanks.

It's funny, whether it's been Penn State fans, Michigan State fans, or some other group upset with my writing, the easy throw-away line always was that I "didn't know anything about college football." The irony here, of course, is that ~~my real name is Ron Zook~~, ~~my real name is Tim Brewster~~, ~~my real name is Pat Fitzgerald~~ I actually was brought onto this staff because I knew more about college football than Jon and Graham - for one week at least. After winning the old predictions contest and penning a column, the two asked me to write for the site. Flattered, I did. Ever since then, it's been a blast.

I wrote some columns that I'm proud of. Plow Horses (and it's follow up Prove It All Night about 2009 Penn State). Because the Night (about the Orange Bowl). You'll Be Coming Down (it still hurts to remember the post script). Two for the Road (comparing Kirk and Hayden). The Decade Summary. I wrote some others that...well, they had to be written and they got done. I really enjoyed publishing my bowl projections. You see, before I ever wrote for this site, it was something that I'd do in my head as I went on my Sunday morning long run. When it was later in the season, I'd start writing out all of the bowls. I didn't start doing projections for the site. I started publishing my projections on the site. I never thought that they were one of the important things on OTE in terms of content, but they brought readers. And if readers came and read other articles, we could build up this community. And build we did. I remember being so excited the first time that we got 1,000 hits in a day. The first time that we were linked to on CBS. I was so proud of the coverage we had during expansion. During Jim Tressel's downfall.

Of all the things that I did, this letter seemed to connect with the most people. I knew that I wasn't alone in these feelings when I was sent it by a friend who didn't know that it was my writing. At the time, it got more hits, tweets, and likes than anything that we'd ever posted (numbers that were later blown away by Jon's incredible piece on PSU post-Paterno).

He'll be back home in Iowa City before it's October.

So now it's goodbye. It's not because of any reason other than time. I've given as much as I could (and given is the right word - this staff does it for love and literally no money), and I have less of it available. Plus, for four seasons, I've been able to publish my thoughts. I know that somewhere there is a more talented Hawkeye writer who deserves a chance to publish hers (or his as it may be). I have no doubt that the OTE will be looking for someone very soon. Show off your brilliance to Jon and Graham, and you may well get a shot.

Thank you to each of you who took a couple of minutes to read the thoughts that I spilled on the screen. It truly has been my pleasure. Thank you, Jon and Graham. You opened up your Rivalry and never made me feel like I was anything less than a full member. You both have done amazing work. It has been a privilege to write for you. Thank you to Ted, Hilary, and the other OTE writers. I've read every word that you've written here. That's not going to change. I'm excited to see what you teach me next. Thank you to Pat, Adam, Ross and the rest of the cast at Black Heart Gold Pants. After reading your work (from the days of Compulsion) I knew that I could never be a funny Hawkeye writer. I knew that I had to try something else. This was the best that I could do.

Godspeed,

Bama Hawkeye

B1G 2012 // Iowa Cocktail Party Preview

2012-05-21T06:00:06Z

EIGHTH IN A SERIES: THE IOWA COCKTAIL PARTY PREVIEW

On last season

The good news is...

Quarterback James Vandenberg engineered the biggest comeback in Iowa history in the second week of the season against Pittsburgh, closing a 17-point gap with just under 12 minutes to play. And despite their ultimate 4-4 finish in conference, the Hawks controlled their own championship destiny as late as the second week in November.

The bad news is...

With the exception of a 41-31 win over Northwestern and a 24-16 upset of No. 13 Michigan, Iowa lost basically every game that mattered in 2011. A painful triple-overtime loss at Iowa State was compounded by disappointing road performances at Penn State, Minnesota, and Nebraska and a home stinker against Michigan State. To top things off, the Hawks -- who can usually be counted on to deliver one of the B1G's two bowl wins each season -- were routed by Oklahoma in the Insight Bowl.

On the offensive side of the ball

The good news is...

James Vandenberg is back at quarterback, giving an embattled (see below) Hawkeye offense some much needed experience. The senior threw for 25 touchdowns and over 3,000 yards in 2011. And although he'll be missing his favorite target (Marvin McNutt), Keenan Davis should provide a steady set of hands in the open field.

The bad news is...

After Vanderberg and Davis, just about everything else related to the Hawkeye offense is a big fat question mark. The departure of long time offensive coordinator Ken O’Keefe (for the Miami Dolphins), and hiring of ex-Texas offensive coordinator Greg Davis, who has a lot more experience coordinating from the shotgun than the pro-set, ensures some growing pains. So does the loss of a first-rounder at offensive tackle (Riley Reiff), and the gargantuan shortage of proven running backs. The bottom line: if the Hawks are going to put together a winning season in 2012 they'll have to rely heavily on their defense.

Jordan Canzeri...AIRBHG's latest victim

On the defensive side of the ball

The good news is...

The Hawks had a sweet end-game goal line stand against Michigan last year. That's gotta give the defense some momentum heading into 2012, right? Leading tackler James Morris returns at middle-linebacker and up and comer Carl Davis should help anchor a rebuilding defensive line.

The bad news is...

Legendary defensive coordinator Norm Parker retired after the 2011 season and although his replacement (former defensive backs coach) Phil Parker knows the system after 13 years coaching under Parker, he's a first-time coordinator. The Hawks also must replace three starters up front from a unit that underachieved in 2011 (save for the aforementioned goal line stand), as well as starting cornerback Shaun Prater and strong-safety Jordan Bernstine.

On special teams

The good news is...

All three of the placekickers that were on the roster in 2011 return for 2012, and phenom punt returner Micah Hyde is also back in the fold.

The bad news is...

Punter Erik Guthrie, who averaged 41 yards per punt in 2011 (second best in the B1G) graduated.

On the schedule

The good news is...

The out of conference schedule, featuring a neutral-site dust up with Northern Illinois in Chicago, and home contests against Iowa State, Northern Iowa, and Central Michigan is definitely manageable, and the Hawks don't have to play Wisconsin, the best team on paper in the Leaders Division.

The bad news is...

The Hawks have to go on the road to play early-B1G favorite Michigan State and they'll also travel to Northwestern and Michigan. And with the exception of Indiana, just about every game in conference is a toss up.

If you're talking to an Iowa fan

Don't mention...

The Horizontal Offense. AIRBHG. This.

Do mention...

Black Heart Gold Pants. Ricky Stanzi.

This week...

MONDAY | Cocktail Party Preview

TUESDAY | The Smartest Guys in The Room

WEDNESDAY | Hawkeye Potluck

THURSDAY | Wildcard

FRIDAY | Keeping the Enemy Close