Wide Right & Natty Lite

RELEGATION WOULD REALLY SUCK FOR ISU - PART I

2012-05-18T16:00:20Z

Hey! It's apparently RELEGATION WEEK here in the SBNation blogosphere. And we here at WRNL had decided to see what would happen if, say, the Big12 were to relegate one team to C-USA over the years. And then Bill C. totally and completely beat us to the punch. Just absolutely went nuts on it. Still, seems like a waste not to run this.

So in the not so distant past, there was a post over on the BHGP that discussed what would happen is Relegation were a part of college football. And to be honest while I enjoyed laughing at the misfortunes of Indiana, I wondered what the idea would look like when applied to the Big XII, knowing of ISU's less than stellar track record during that time.

In doing research for this post, I learned much to my dismay that, Relegators do not, in fact, Relegate the stealing of Warren G's property. They are also not damn good, too. But the idea of Relegation comes to us from that most foreign of familiar places: England, America's weirdo half-brother, and soccer, Football's weirdo half-brother.

(I actually have absolutely nothing against England, and will admit to getting excited about 'Futbol' every four years in conjunction with the World Cup, but I remain woefully ignorant in my knowledge of the EPL. If any of this info is wrong, blame wikipedia.)

In English Football, the best 20 teams make up the Premier League. At the end of each season, the three worst teams are "Relegated," or demoted to the "Football League Championship." (England's version of the AAA minor League teams in MLB.) The two top teams in this league at the end of the season get promoted to the Premier League, and the next four teams have a playoff to determine the third team to be promoted. The core principle is not unlike what we've seen in the BCS: Even if you are a small to mid-level team, a year (or two) worth of continued dominance will give you a shot at one of the Big Boys as a BCS at-large bid. However, with the threat of humiliation and demotion on the line, even the end-of-the-season pillow fights between cellar-dwelling teams take on huge meaning.

In the BGHP example, the last place team in the conference was relegated to the MAC for a year, while the MAC champion was promoted. Looking at a map of current conferences, The WAC is a good fit as a second tier for the PAC-12, and the Sun Belt occupies almost the exact same footprint as the SEC. As a result, the Big 12 gets Conference USA as their second tier. It's not a perfect fit, but both have a considerable presence in Oklahoma and Texas, both were founded in the mid-90's, and both are headquartered in Irving, Texas.

Ground Rules are as follows: One team up, one team down. Ties broken by head-to-head competition if possible, Common Opponents, then overall record. If multiple teams from a conference are up for a spot, the best candidate from each conference are put head to head.

So, without any further ado, lets hop into the Wayback Machine and see where it takes us:

1996: THE FALL FROM GRACE (1-7, 2-9).

Yeah. Not a great start to our new lives in the Big 12. We notched early season wins against Northern Iowa and Missouri to salvage a 2-2 start, and then the wheels came off. A 24-21 loss to A&M at home. A one point loss on the road at Oklahoma State. A three point loss to Kansas. Ultimately, the Cyclones would lose four games by a combined total of 14 points. By the time Nebraska came to town in late November, it was all but over for the Cyclones.

The lone bright spot on the team was RB Troy Davis, who racked up an ungodly amount of yards (2,185), won the Big XII Player of the Year award, and finished a close second in Heisman voting to Florida's Danny Wuerffel. Davis actually won three of the four Heisman regions, but lost badly in the South. This, combined with the fact that he played on a team that finished 2-9, is widely believed to be the reason that Davis did not win the Heisman that year. Davis did not wait around to see his stock drop, forgoing his final year of eligibility to jump into the NFL Draft.

Despite all of that, Iowa State went 1-7 in conference play, and lost to the only other 1-7 team. (Baylor.) So yeah, the Cyclones would have gotten relegated to C-USA in the first year of the Big XII. Not a fabulous start.

And who would rise up to usurp our position of power? Using Conference Record (and using their Head-to-Head matchup as a tie-breaker), 4-1 Houston gets the nod ahead of 4-1 Southern Miss, and claims the spot in the conference that was denied them previously.

RELEGATED: Iowa State
PROMOTED: Houston

1997: SURFIN C-USA (1-7, 1-10)

Another less-than-stellar year for the Cyclones, but with two of the Top 10 teams in the nation residing in the Big XII North, it was probably going to be a rough year regardless. That said, the lone win came over a similarly 1-7 Baylor team, which would have saved us the indignity of relegation - provided we weren't already slumming it in C-USA. The choice for relegation in this season is down to Baylor, who won two games by two points apiece over two incredibly different opponents (Fresno State and Texas), and Houston, who got pasted by almost everyone in C-USA that year. In the end, Houston going 3-8 against an easier schedule is just a little worse than Baylor going 2-9, and a two point win over Texas looks more impressive than a three point win over Minnesota. (Plus, there will be many more chances to send Baylor down to the minor leagues. Just wait.)

On the C-USA side of things, Southern Miss crushed everyone in the league that year, finishing 9-3 overall (6-0 conference) with the three losses coming against SEC teams. (Florida, Alabama, Tennessee.) They finished the season ranked #22 and demolished Pittsburgh in the Liberty Bowl. So yeah, they get the promotion for 1997.

RELEGATED: Houston
PROMOTED: Southern Miss

1998: STILL IN LIMBO (1-7, 3-8)

Three teams finished with just one conference win in 1998. Kansas (1-7, 4-7), Iowa State (1-7, 3-8), and Baylor (1-7, 2-9). Despite the overall records, Both Baylor and Iowa State's one conference win came at the hands of the JayHawks, who padded out their overall record with wins against perrenial powerhouses such as Illinois State, Alabama-Birmingham, and North Texas. Kansas becomes a candidate.

But what of Southern Miss? They had an uninspired 7-4 follow-up season topped off with a loss to Idaho in the Humanitarian Bowl. The only opponent they had in common with Kansas was Texas A&M - a team that beat Southern Miss by 18, but only defeated Kansas by 3. For this reason, and this reason alone, Kansas gets to stay.

1998, for all intents and purposes, was the first year of the BCS. It also became the first year that a mid-major team got screwed by the BCS computers, as lowly Tulane ran the table to go 11-0 and climb to a #7 ranking... and was awarded with a trip to the Liberty Bowl while 9-2 Florida (#8 overall) claimed the last at-large BCS slot instead.

So yeah, no debate here. Tulane gets promoted. Go Green Wave.

RELEGATED: Southern Miss
PROMOTED: Tulane

1999: BYE BYE BAYLOR (1-7, 4-7)

No contest on this one. No tie-breakers, either. As the lone team to go 0-8 against the conference, Baylor becomes the Big XII candidate for Relegation. Standing in their way? A 3-8 Tulane team who completely failed to live up to the expectations set by the previous season. With no common opponents, this becomes a question of whether it is better to go 1-10 against good competition or 3-8 against bad competition. In the end, a single win against North Texas isn't going to cut it. Baylor gets Relegated.

Southern Mississippi takes advantage of the Bears' misfortune by posting a 9 win season and another Liberty Bowl win over Colorado State, going undefeated in conference play. One year after being edged out by Kansas, the Golden Eagles finish at #14 in the nation and get another shot at the Big XII.

RELEGATED: BAYLOR
PROMOTED: SOUTHERN MISS

2000: REDEMPTION SONG (9-3, 5-3)

Baylor went 0-8 against the Big XII in 2000, it stands to reason that they probably wouldn't have made much noise in C-USA. But, if we are in fact assuming they were in C-USA under this scenario, our candidates for Relegation are down to Oklahoma State (1-7, 3-8), Tulane (6-5), and Southern Miss (8-4). Southern Mississippi notched wins over both teams that season (28-6 vs. OSU and 56-24 over Tulane). Losing by 32 points is not much better than losing by 22 points, but it's really the only common measure between these two teams. Blaze Orange can stay, but with a sad (green) wave we say farewell to Tulane, and we feel even worse when they get wiped out by Katrina in a few years.

As for promotion? Louisville went 9-3 that year and won the conference title before losing to Colorado State in the Liberty Bowl. Iowa State also went 9-3 that year (with two of those losses coming against top 10 teams) and won the Insight.com bowl over Pittsburgh to finish the season in the Top 25. Without any common opponents to use as a comparison, Iowa State gets the nod due to their harder schedule and bowl win. Fans in Ames rejoice as the Cyclones re-claim their status as a Big XII school.

RELEGATED: TULANE
PROMOTED: IOWA STATE

2001: A Jayhawk Oddessey

Once again, Baylor would have been relegated to C-USA with an 0-8 conference mark... if they weren't still there from the previous season. Instead, Kansas (1-7, 3-8) is on the chopping block. But what of Southern Mississippi? Surely, they can't remain in the Big XII forever, right? Both teams had one win against Big XII competition. (SMU toppled Okie State early in the year, while Kansas scraped out a win over Texas A&M.) Still, without cupcakes Missouri State and Wyoming on their non-conference schedule, Kansas was facing down the very real possibility of a 1-11 season. With their Orange Bowl season only a couple years away, they won't stay in C-USA for long, but for now Kansas gets relegated.

As for promotion? Louisville won the C-USA title that year en route to an 11-2 season. Their only losses came at the hands of Illinois and C-USA newcomer Texas Christian. They didn't beat anyone too spectacular, but solid play against a weak schedule was still good enough for a Liberty Bowl win over BYU and a #17 ranking at season's end. Rick Pitino and Quin Snyder immediately start a rivalry over who's hair contains more styling product.

RELEGATED: KANSAS
PROMOTED: LOUISVILLE

2002: REVENGE OF THE HORNED FROGS(4-4, 7-7)

If it's all the same, I'd rather not re-live this season any more than necessary. It was my first year as a Cyclone, first year with season football tickets, and the first crushingly painful heartbreak I experienced as a Cyclone fan. Still, 4-4 isn't terrible, despite all the wins coming early in the season.

So who gets the axe? Kansas? (0-8, 2-10) Baylor? (1-7, 3-9) Both are still in C-USA with this system. Missouri would be the next potential Big XII target, but 5-7 isn't exactly a relegation-worthy season. Southern Miss and Louisville both scratched out 7-6 seasons, with Louisville winning their head-to-head matchup by a field goal, which pares the competition down to Mizzou and Southern Miss. Both teams had one common opponent in Illinois. Mizzou won their contest 33-20, while Southern Miss only managed to win 23-20. Mizzou is saved from the axe, and Southern Miss heads back to C-USA after some middling seasons in the Big XII.

As for the C-USA champion is 2002? That would be none other than TCU, who was well on their way to becoming a Big XII inaugural member anyway before Gov. Richards of Texas stepped in and put pressure on the league to add her alma mater Baylor, instead. TCU's 11-2 record included a 6-2 conference mark and a Liberty Bowl victory over Colorado State.

RELEGATED: SOUTHERN MISS
PROMOTED: TCU

2003: BACK TO THE MINORS (0-8, 2-10)

You can already tell where this one is going. With TCU rattling off another 11-win season, and Louisville holding their own to go 9-4, Iowa State's bitterly disappointing end to 2002 turns into even more disappointment when they are relegated back to C-USA following a 0-8 campaign through the Big XII. There will be no thrilling 2004 OT game against Mizzou to decide the Big XII North, and no Independence Bowl victory agaist Miami (OH).

Still, Someone has to replace us. Candidates include C-USA champion Southern Miss (9-3) and Kansas (6-7), who is only on this list because they lost to Nebraska by 21. (As opposed to SMU, who lost to Big Red by 24.) With no other direct metrics for comparison, the nod goes to Kansas because they didn't lose to Nebraska quite as badly as SMU did. SMU would channel this frustration and beat Nebraska by a touchdown during the first game of 2004.

RELEGATED: IOWA STATE
PROMOTED: KANSAS

2004: IN WHICH THINGS GET WEIRD (4-4, 7-5)

Overall at this point in the proceedings, we have seen Iowa State and Baylor relegated to C-USA, and Louisville and TCU promoted into the Big XII. Stay with me, because this one gets a bit confusing.

With 0-8 Baylor once again not available for Relegation, the contest comes down to the two Kansas schools who posted identical records (2-6, 4-7). With Kansas winning the head to head contest by a field goal, Kansas State becomes the most likely future-former-Big-XII member. But while Louisville was off posting another eleven win season, TCU was only able to scrape together a 5-6 year. The one common opponent was Texas Tech, who posted a 12 point victory in Manhattan and crushed TCU 70-35. Once again, a single common opponent is all we have to go on, and Kansas State retains their status as the purplest team in the Big XII. TCU is relegated, and decides that they've had enough Big XII/C-USA shenannigans. They accept an offer to join the Mountain West Conference and go on to dominate that league in 1995.

Promotion from C-USA gets even more confusing. With C-USA champion Louisville having been in the Big XII for a few years under this rule system, the door opens for any number of teams to step up. Alabama-Birmingham, Cincinnati, Memphis, and Southern Miss all posted 5-3 records to tie for 2nd behind Louisville. In games between these four teams, UAB and Memphis both went 2-1, while the other schools went 1-2. On the strength of a head-to-head win against Memphis, UAB is up for potential promotion.

But hey, one of the relegated teams had a pretty good season too! Surely, winning a share of the Big XII north and missing a chance at the Big XII championship game on an OT Field Goal is Promotion worthy, right? Maybe not.

The one common opponent between the two schools was Baylor. And while ISU pulled out a one point thriller in Waco, UAB absolutely CRUSHED the Bears, 56-14. Sadly, ISU spends another year out in the wilderness. UAB gets the Promotion.

RELEGATION: TCU
PROMOTION: UAB

Promoted as of 2004: UAB, LOUISVILLE (Rest of B12 is same)

Relegated as of 2004: BAYLOR, IOWA STATE

Stay tuned tomorrow for Part 2, when we'll check out from 2004 to today, and see how different our results are from Bill's.

The Mid-Morning Dump - 5/18/12

2012-05-18T13:41:38Z

PHIL STEELE LOVE. Naming AJ Klein All-America Fourth Team and both Klein and Jake Knott All Big 12.

WHERE WAS FSU LAST YEAR? Berry Tramel asks this interesting question and casts doubts on the Big 12's newest possible addition.

BOWLSBY WANTS TO HIT PAUSE ON REALIGNMENT. Echoing DeLoss Dodds. Familiar theme, no?

ROYCE STARTING WORKOUTS. Randy Peterson checks in with Royce about predraft workouts.

MORE DURBIN. Rob Gray catches up with Ben Durbin, the Cyclones' newest defensive end.

RELEGATION WEEK. It continues with Bill Connelly's simulation. Spoiler alert: We're in Conference USA.

OBSCURITY, THY NAME IS NCAA RULES. Check out the violations Ohio State committed last week.

I THINK WE ALL WISH IT WAS CRAIG JAMES INSTEAD. Mike Leach shot a giant bear.

Know Your Enemy: University of Tulsa

2012-05-17T16:00:22Z

Welcome to the spectator sport hell known as "baseball season". While this time of year provides little opportunity to actually watch entertaining athletic competition (outside of the Stanley Cup playoffs, naturally) it provides ample opportunity to tastelessly lampoon our upcoming opponents. Welcome to our universally reviled "Know Your Enemy" Series: A guide to the unfamiliar schools on the Cyclones’ football schedule that has been accused of xenophobia, misogyny, and religious bigotry. Enjoy.

Continue after the jump

STADIUM: The University of Tulsa Golden Hurricanes take the field at miniscule Skelly Field at H. A. Chapman Stadium, located directly on Historic Route 66 on the Tulsa campus. The stadium was named after Southern oil man William Skelly. Thanks, Tulsa. We can only assume he was an asshole bazillionaire who lit cigars with flaming $100 bills, dumped oil into fragile marshland ecosystems for the hell of it and owned slaves after the passing of the Emancipation Proclamation.

Not only does it can it seat up to 10,000 Hurricane fans (and another 20,000 Cowboy or Sooner fans, depending on the year), it is also conveniently located a few blocks from Tacos Don Francisco (which makes a killer lengua burrito). So it has that going for it.

Hey Tulsa, Baylor thinks your fan support sucks.

TEAM: Tulsa had some really good teams over the past 10 years. They were coached by that dude with the Tom Selleck mustache that almost killed Louisville’s program. Then they had that asshole who left Rice after a year, came to Tulsa, then left, then went to Pitt for a year, then went to Arizona State. Gus Malzahn was there in some capacity too. They had some high flying offense with players that no one can name, and now all of those dudes are gone and they have that shitbag from Nebraska that Lattimer forced the controversial fumble on in 2010 starting at QB. This isn’t 2008’s Tulsa.

Tulsa's Lattimer Alert is currently at the "elevated" level

If you expected any more than this about the 2012 University of Tulsa Golden Hurricane football squad, I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul.

MASCOT: Just when you thought that there couldn’t be worse mascots than some of the creepers in the Big 12 (like Pistol Pete or Willie the Wildcat), you find this:

I don't think that middle cheerleader will be topping the pyramid anytime soon

This is what happens when you’re stuck in C-USA, have no mascot budget, and are forced to pay some stoned freshman graphic design major three bags of Cool Ranch Doritos in order to get a mascot design put together. Ladies and gentlemen, this walking abortion is the reason that Cy is a Cardinal, and not a Cyclone. Looking like a cross between a conical dehydrated piece of dog shit with eyes and a walking turnip, the Tulsa mascot should be Exhibit A in the case of Why-You-Don’t-Design-Mascots-After-Weather-Phenomena v. Rationality.

We've got spirit, yes we do. We are turnips filled with poo!

TRADITIONS: I actually have some level of familiarity (and fondness, if you can believe it from what I’ve written) for the University of Tulsa as my cousin (and frequent college football road trip companion) attended law school there and still lives in the city. The only UT tradition I’ve noticed in my several visits is how much they love to bitch about being (supposedly) the smallest school in the FBS. So there’s that. And being Sooner fans (much like UNI students rooting for Iowa).

AGAINST ISU: We’ve probably played Tulsa before. They probably beat us. This was probably in the 80’s or 90’s. I’m not sure, and I don’t care. I do know they beat Iowa in either at the end of the Fry era or the beginning of the Ferentz era, so that’s cool. Also, "Tulsa" spelled backwards is "A slut". So they have that going for them too.

The Mid-Morning Dump - 5/17/12

2012-05-17T13:10:07Z

BUBU GETS A SCHOLLIE. Fred Hoiberg announced that former walkon Bubu Palo will stay on scholarship this season, leaving one scholarship remaining.

MORE FEUDING. Cyclone Feud, Round Three.

DEFENSIVE LINE DEPTH. Ben Durbin is returning home to play immediately for the Cyclones, after starting for Wyoming last year.

DERRICK BROOKS IS GETTING IN ON REALIGNMENT. He tells CBS Sports' Tim Brando that the Big 12 has reached out to Florida State, which Randy Spetman denied immediately.

DELOSS' MILLIONS. How does Texas make so much money?

HOW WOULD RELEGATION WORK? Here's a nice breakdown of a tier system that would work.

A SAD SAD OBSESSION. The Big 10 seems willing to sacrifice playoffs for their precious Rose Bowl.

The Mid-Morning Dump - 5/16/12

2012-05-16T13:32:19Z

CYCLONE FEUD. There's something hilarious about this idea.

NO WAY! Paul Rhoads would like bowl eligibility to stay at 6 wins.

KO STANDING OUT. John Harbaugh has been impressed with Kelechi Osemele so far.

WE BEAT SNYDER! BHGP looks at player development, and while Iowa (no surprise) is at the top, we can look down upon Duke and K-State

DAILY FSU UPDATE. Allen Kenney says the Big 12 needs to put the full court press on Florida State, while Tuxedo Yoda talks about the academic benefits of aligning with the ACC... or lack thereof.

CONTINUING WITH RELEGATION. Here's a Q&A with Jason Kirk on how things would work out in college football relegation.

THAT'S A LOT OF PIZZA MONEY... Charlie Weis' buyout is enormous.

PLAYOFF PLANNING GOES ON. Michigan State AD Mark Hollis says no home games in a playoff, while DeLoss Dodds favors a playoff plan separate from the bowl system. I'll put my money on whatever DeLoss wants.

MORE 30 FOR 30! ESPN will produce 30 more 30 for 30s between now and 2014.

WANT NIGHTMARES? Here's Charles Barkley with a shake weight. In slow motion.

Jamie Pollard Makes It Rain

2012-05-15T16:00:21Z

(Interior of The Lumberyard in Des Moines. Jamie Pollard and the rest of the Big XII ADs walk in the door. Pollard is wearing a full-length mink coat and fanny pack)

Jamie Pollard: Drink up, bitches! It's a celebration up in here!

DeLoss Dodds: Jamie, I gotta say you Iowa boys do things right. I always thought you were a bit uptight, but this here nudie-dancin' is right up my alley.

Kirby Hocutt: YEEEE-HAAWWW!!! (Shoots pistols in the air while dancing an old-timey jig)

Joe Castiglione: Jesus Christ, how did you get guns in here? Didn't the bouncer pat you down?

Hocutt: I BRING MA' GUNS EVERYWHERE! SHOT THE BOUNCER ON THE WAY IN!

Pollard: Shiiii-iiiit, Castiglione... relax son. If our brother from Texas Tech wants to get loose, let him get loose. The Big XII's new TV deal means we're SWIMMING in cash. WE run this show now!

But that's just an example; individually we continue to run our own departments in a fiscally responsible manner. I also must point out that that I have never literally swum in a pile of cash, Scrooge McDuck-style. I just wanted to illustrate a point about how well we're doing.

Dodds: Sir, you are literal to a fault. I like that about you. Now tell me, where could a man find the champagne room and two girlies with loose morals around here...

Ian McCaw: Gentlemen, please! As a man of faith, I insist that we leave this house of ill-repute immediately and make our way to the nearest church or par...

***Kirby Hocutt shoots Ian McCaw mid-sentence***

Castiglione: What the FUCK, Hocutt?! You just shot Baylor's AD! SOMEBODY CALL AN AMBULANCE!

Hocutt: I JUST WINGED HIM! NO NEED FOR THE AMBULANCE! QUIT YER BELLYACHIN', McCAW!

Pollard: Brothers, please; Let's calm this mess down. We came here to celebrate our good fortune, not shoot each other in the foot. And I should say that while that sounds like I'm speaking figuratively, I am in fact being extremely literal; as Mr. Hocutt has indeed just shot Mr. McCaw in the leg.

But look at this new TV contract we just agreed to! $200 million per year! We were all making less than half that just last year! So I've got $20 million reasons to not give a FUCK right now! I'm riiiiiiiii-aaaattcchhh!

Chris Del Conte: Pssst! Hey, hey, you guys know Molly?

Castiglione: Molly? I'm not sure what you're referring to. Does she work here, or in TCU's athletic offices?

Del Conte: Naw man, c'mon! Don't be such a square, Castiglione! Listen guys, I got what you need, anything you want. What do you like, Pollard? I got ecstasy, coke, MDMA, pills...

Dodds: Y'all got Viagra?

Del Conte: Shit man, I got something better than Viagra. It's called Foxy. Like MDMA, but it gets you HARD, brother. You'll be humping like a jackrabbit all night! How many you need?

Pollard: C'mon Del Conte, keep that shit in your football program. We don't need any of that junk anyway, shit's for frat boys and kids on spring break. And if you think I need Viagra, you best take a look at who you're talking to. I'm Jamie Pollard, son! I'm knee deep in 'tang constantly!

But I'm just joking, mind you. Ellen and I are happily married and I would never dream of cheating on her. Just some innocent tomfoolery.

Charlie Weis: WHERE'S THE GODDAMN BUFFET!

Pollard: What? Who invited Weis? This was supposed to be an exclusive party, athletic directors only.

Weis: I just happened to in the neighborhood, and I can never pass up a good strip club spread. I also like the food here. Wordplay!

But seriously, I'm in town checking to see if AJ Derby might be interested in playing quarterback for the Jayhawks next... What's that? He's in Kansas RIGHT NOW? SHIT! Waitress! Wrap up ten pounds of buffalo wings! I'll eat 'em in the car!

***DeLoss Dodds has cornered the cocktail waitress***

Dodds: So listen, sugarlumps, I'm a very influential man. You want to be on TV, sweetheart? Ever hear of ESPN? I'm in close with them. Got my own TV studio and everything. I can make you the next Erin Andrews... Now why don't you come back to my hotel room and we'll see what happens...

Pollard: C'mon Dodds, leave that poor girl alone. You're over 70, for god's sake. Besides, you know you and Castiglione are just going to end up getting drunk in the corner and passing out at Denny's like you always do.

But I'm in it for the long haul tonight! My pockets are flush with cash, and I'm gonna put some girls through college! Preferably at a fine institution like Iowa State! I'm gonna make it rain up in here! Again, not literally! I mean when I throw paper bills in the air, the money falling to the ground is going to be reminiscent of rain!

McCaw: Please, in the name of all that's holy, can someone get me a bandage or something? I think I'm losing a lot of blood...

Pollard: That's right, blood! Fuck the haters! And by that, of course I'm speaking metaphorically! I do not intend to have intercourse with everyone who disagrees with me! DJ, drop that beat!

(D/R Period blasts through the speakers. Pollard dances on stage while throwing handfuls of cash in the air. Welcome to the new Big XII)

DR Period - Money (OFFICIAL VIDEO) (via rockboyrecords2)

The Mid-Morning Dump - 5/15/12

2012-05-15T13:54:55Z

STANDARD AND NEALY MAKING WAVES. The young Cyclone backfield is making some heads turn during spring practice.

KICKER HYPE! Projected savior kicker Cole Netten gets to campus soon.

YOUR DAILY FSU UPDATE. FSU's President hates on the Big 12 in a memo, while DeLoss Dodds is trying to slow the FSUToTheBig12 club's roll. Andy Staples says that if Florida State chooses to leave the ACC, the realignment dominoes will once again fall. Bill Connelly suggests 6 schools the Big 12 needs to offer.... all right now.

RELEGATION WEEK. Spencer Hall makes the case for an English Premier League relegation system in college football. I would be in favor of this, even if it meant occasional relegation for Iowa State.

DOWN GOES HYPNOTOAD! Arkansas just obliterated TCU's lead in the Fulmer Cup with their rash of recent arrests.

MIAMI THINKS WE'RE STUPID. They say they are not interested in the Big 12 due to academic reasons.

THE YESTERYEARS OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL. An actual letter from Bear Bryant to an incoming freshman.

OH, THIS DEBATE. Kirk Haaland looks at the 2011 Alabama D vs. Oklahoma State O.

Big 12 Flow Chart

2012-05-14T20:00:20Z

With Big 12 membership possibly changing again in a few weeks, we've developed this helpful flow chart to assist you in deciding your favorite Big 12 school. Months of research and development have been spent using the latest scientific methods to create this chart. Well, really we got drunk and made fart jokes for 3 hours and this was the result.

And now ladies and gentlemen, as a treat for our Tiger and Seminole friends, I give you Mr. John Anderson!